Responsibility Magnet

Thursday, October 15, 2009
You know what's interesting? I have recently realized that in addition to being a whackadoo magnet, I am also a responsibility magnet. In every job, every organization, every group I'm in, I end up with more responsibility than I started out with.

In some cases, it's because I sought out additional responsibilities for reasons of my own. This was certainly the case in my professional life - I was ambitious, and knew that taking on additional tasks would prove my worth to those who had power over my ability to move up. It worked, too. I made Chief in nine years, Senior Chief in thirteen. In my civilian career I've octopuled my salary in thirteen years. So seeking out additional responsibilities worked out well for me, and I'm happy with the results, although I'm not very ambitious these days.

In other cases, however, it seems like responsibility seeks me out.

I tend to be the one who organizes things, if something needs to be organized. I tend to be the one who "takes the lead" when there's something that needs to be led.

I have a self-imposed glass ceiling in my professional life, mostly because I'm not very interested in "coaching," corporate-speak for being the boss. And yet every time I have one of those "career planning" discussions with my boss, it keeps coming up. And up. And up. I don't want to be anyone's boss - I have enough trouble managing myownself, and I assume I'd get in trouble the first time I told a subordinate to shut the fuck up, quit their damn whining and do the work for which they're paid.*

A part of me knows that if I want to stop being "responsible," then I need to stop volunteering for every damn thing that comes up. Special project? I'll do it! Beta testing? I'll do it! Volunteering for a local charity? I'll do it! I need to let others step up and take some responsibility. I'm not the only one who's capable of executing on these things.

But it's not all me - it seems pretty apparent that the "no good deed goes unpunished" concept plays a role, as well. Once you prove that you're capable of performing a task, on time and to others' expectation, then you're pretty much doomed to be the go-to gal moving forward. Hell, I'm guilty of this myself - it was always easier to assign specific tasks to sailors who I knew would do them well without making a big production over it rather than forcing the resident dirt-bag to carry their fair share of the load. No matter how carefully you try to guard against such unfair practices, they do creep in when the pressure's on.

Of course, I could be flattering myself. The truth may be that I'm just bossy and self-important. I don't think so, though. This responsibility magnet thing runs in my family, and we can't all be bossy and self-important....can we?


*Which is not to say I didn't take good care of my sailors when they needed it. I just didn't like to hear them whine.

6 comments:

mom in northern said...

MAKE me smile. This entire piece sounds SO familiar. The truth is you have always been a responsibility magnet... :-) And yes, it does flow in the blood of this family...the females anyway.

vince said...

Sometimes it's hard to learn when to say "no." I've only been a boss twice - once as night shift supervisor in the Air Force, and once in a real world job with a whole one subordinate. I didn't mind it either time, and I think I did okay.

I agree that proving you're competent leads to more responsibility because why farm something out to someone who does a half-assed job or whines all the time.

I have a lot of respect for "can-do" people who understand what responsibility is and are willing to take responsibility even when doing so is far from convenient.

Steve Buchheit said...

Learning to say "no" is a difficult skill. It's one I'm still trying to master.

Steve Buchheit said...

Maybe I should explain that. When I'm asked for help, I have a hard time saying no. When I see something that needs to be done, I have a hard time saying no. When something needs changed and nobody is stepping up, I have a hard time holding back. This includes when in a recent group we were asked for volunteers and everybody demurred, I jumped up to do the task (the task wasn't hard, and my internal thought process was, "We're wasting precious time deciding who is going to be the guinea pig").

John the Scientist said...

Man was this an issue in grad school. A lot of the foreign grad students took the attitude that equipment maintenance was beneath them (most especially those from Communist countries where everyone was supposedly "equal").

People who were officially responsible for equipment got dumped on again and again cleaning up messes, realigning optics, etc., etc. The phrase "no good deed goes unpunished" was actually used by my advisor more than once, but he didn't do a whole lot to correct the bad behavior.

And tools? No one put the things back where they belonged. It got so bad that my wife and I bought our own set of hex wrenches and surveyor's tools so that we could legitimately keep them locked in our desks and could find them whenever we wanted.

My wife was in charge of a very complex laser, and no one stepped up to be second on that system until she broke her arm and someone had to - you needed two hands to move all 16 mirrors and lenses to even get a little bit of laser light out of the thing. Getting a lot of light for an experiment could take a day's prep.

Those experiences kind of cemented the opinion I'd already picked up in the USSR: private property is good if for just the reason that what belongs to everyone belongs to no one, and is treated as such.

Anne C. said...

This happens to me too (which is why I was recently drafted into a leadership position in a group I only officially joined six months ago). There are several pieces: a willingness to do a job, the ability to do it well, the ability to see what's lacking and take initiative to fill that void, a certain arrogance/confidence (in spite of doubts) that one can do a better job at something than others, etc. etc.

As you can see, I've been going through similar thoughts myself. I can't avoid taking a leadership role in my profession if I want to advance much further. I want to advance, not to make more money (guess it'd be nice though) but to be given more complex and challenging projects. Things DO seem to get handed to me though. :)