Feed Me, Seymour

Thursday, April 30, 2009
My good friends Shawn and Donna Powers are the leaders of their church's youth group, and each year they do a 30 hour fast to raise money to feed the hungry.

I think this is a pretty sweet project for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that the kids in Shawn's youth group are learning the importance of charity and what it really feels like to go hungry, if only for 30 hours.

Last year I sponsored the whole group, but this year Shawn and Donna's daughter Amanda is old enough to participate, so she's getting Auntie Janiece's hard-earned money, from one singer to another.

Amanda's video is below, and if you want additional information on the fast, you can find it on Shawn's blog. If you're so inclined, Amanda's donation page is here.



Good luck, Amanda, and the rest of the Youth Group!

Hooptie Update

So we found a Hooptie for the SmartBoy. It's a 1990 Honda Accord EX, and in fact, looks very much like the one he totaled.*

It's currently in the shop getting some repair work done, but once complete, it should last the SmartBoy until he's out of school and has a job that can support something better.

I paid for it, but the SmartBoy will be reimbursing me for half the purchase price on a monthly installment plan. If he totals this one, then he'll be getting re-acquainted with shank's mare.

In other news, he has been accepted to Metro State College of Denver, and he's decided to attend his first two years there while he figures out what he wants to do. I'm supportive of this decision, as the tuition at Metro is so inexpensive he'll be able to manage his portion of the expenses without incurring student debt.

I'm just glad he has a plan that doesn't include him working for minimum wage and living at home.


*Except for the purple interior. Seriously - purple? Who thought that was a fabulous design choice?

'Tard of the Week - Michelle Bachmann

Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Minnesota Representative Michelle Bachmann is one of those Republicans for whom the Dems are eternally thankful. Every time she opens her mouth she removes any doubt about her education, her intelligence, and her common sense, all of which appear to be on par with those of a mentally challenged wombat.

If she's not accusing the dirty, dirty liberals of being UNAMERICAN and waxing poetic about the DANGERS OF TERRORISM she's pretending to be a qualified epidemiologist and speculating about the TRUE CAUSE of the recent outbreak of the Swine Flu:



Since my Hot SIL actually is an epidemiologist, I'm now taking bets on how quickly her head exploded after watching this clip. Poor Smart BIL - he has to clean up that nasty mess.

In Representative Bachmann's world, correlation equals causation, baby. Except when the president is a Republican, then it's all a DIRTY DIRTY LIE spread by the LIBERALS. Who are clearly UNAMERICAN.

Epic fail, Representative Bachmann. You are a federal case 'tard.

Pensive Much?

I've been a bit pensive of late.

I'm not a person who enjoys change in my life. I like things to be boring, scheduled, and under my control at all times. Even the word "change" inspires me to sneer and withdraw. Stupid change. Stupid chaos. Stupid world, insisting on turning and moving forward.

And my life is entering a period of change at the moment.

The Smart Twins are graduating from High School next month. They're making plans for their future, and we're planning the family graduation party. I have some thoughts on their transition into adulthood that I'm not ready to share just yet, but this has been on my mind lately.

Like many people in today's economy, my job is far from secure. I'm exploring other options, of course, but changing jobs really doesn't appeal to me. Part of that is my resistance to change in general, but a larger issue here is my comfort in my current role. I'm an "inside" Systems Engineer, which means the work I do is primarily in support of customer-facing field teams. Any change I make to my career path at this point will most certainly require me to return to a field position. I spent five years in the field prior to starting my current gig, so I know I have the talent to succeed, but I'm rusty. It's easy to get comfortable and lazy, and the thought of having a job that stretches my skills is a bit anxiety provoking. Not to mention that taking a field job will require me to purchase work clothes and sometimes wear panty-hose and I'll have to actually leave the house. Yes, I know I'm being a whiny-butt about this. Sue me.

Without over-sharing, I will say that entering middle age sucks. My body is not the well-oiled machine it used to be, and pieces and parts that never required my attention before now are becoming problematic. If you want examples, feel free to enjoy Jim's litany over at Stonekettle Station.

To add insult to injury, I've been wholly uninspired by blogging lately, an activity that normally gives me pleasure. I'm not producing any scintillating content here and I'm not commenting regularly elsewhere. In spite of my somewhat slow work schedule at the moment, I can't seem to get motivated to do any quality writing (or reading).

Considering that I'm still employed and my family is relative healthy and happy, I really don't have anything to complain about. So why do I feel so melancholy?

Hooptie Search

Tuesday, April 28, 2009
As you all know, the SmartBoy had an accident and totaled his hooptie this year, which required us to go to the Douglas County Justice Center so he could face the music.

But his great nightmare is now over, and we're searching for a new hooptie for him. Because the circumstances of the accident were ambiguous, we'll be splitting the cost of the vehicle this time. I have a couple of leads on older Hondas that might be suitable, so we'll see how it goes.

'Tard of the Week - Perez Hilton

Monday, April 27, 2009
Perez Hilton.

Miss U.S.A. pageant.

'Nough said.

So Long, Pontiac

General Motors has announced that they will be eliminating the Pontiac product line from their portfolio. As part of this decision they'll be cutting an additional 21,000 manufacturing jobs by next year. This is all part of GM's plan to save themselves and qualify for additional government bailout monies.

I'm not a particularly sentimental person when it comes to cars, and I happen to think Pontiacs in the last 20 years have pretty much been pieces of shit. So aside from my fondness for 1960's GTO's, my initial reaction to this news was "meh."

And yet...

21,000 jobs eliminated. And those are just the manufacturing jobs. That doesn't include the folks who make their living providing secondary and tertiary Pontiac services, such as dealers and their employees, and parts manufacturers and distributors, and who knows what else. In my area, many Pontiac dealers also sell other brands, but I don't know if they'll be able to keep their doors open offering only the remaining brands.

Hang on, kids - it's going to get worse before it gets better.

Completely, Totally Uninspired

Sunday, April 26, 2009
I am completely, totally uninspired today. The combination of a late night (for us) last night and a barking Boogie-Dog this morning means I'm a bit short on sleep. The only thing I have on my agenda for today is a drive over to my Aunt's to deliver some food.

So instead of actual content, enjoy this piece by Spock's Beard, a band that I love not only because their name is the coolest thing evah, but because their music has a melodic element that is pleasing to my ear.

Savory Saturday

Saturday, April 25, 2009
Since Jim has the entire MatSu Valley's knickers in a twist over a dead moose and the little barbarians who killed him, and Eric has cracked himself up over the pompous grandstanding of the RNC, then I guess I'll have to blog today about cooking.

As I mentioned earlier in the week, my aunt has been diagnosed with cancer, and I've decided that cooking meals for her and her family is one of the ways in which I will support her during her treatment. So I put out a call for recipes, and my in-box (and snail-mail) filled up in a hurry with the recommendations of friends and family. You guys rock.

One piece of good news - her oncologist says the cancer hasn't spread! So she'll have one series of treatments, and then it will be a "wait and see" scenario. I'll take that bit of good news. Yes, yes I will.



Last night I made chicken tortilla casserole, and today I'll be making chicken noodle soup, Mexican lasagna*, and blackberry jam. I figure I'll bring over two casseroles and one soup a week (if their freezer can take it) until she's feeling strong again.


*Made with real Mexicans! Okay, not really. It's made with lasagna noodles and Mexican chickens.

Boogie Blogging Friday

Friday, April 24, 2009
I'm having a craptacularly bad day today from a professional perspective.

I hate it when I make mistakes on designs. I hate it worse when the mistake is in the six figure range. The only bright spot is that I caught the mistake before we delivered our "best and final" deliverable. That doesn't mean the conversation with the customer is going to be any easier, though.

So today I feel like a complete and utter incompetent who would be doing the telephony world a favor if she just stuck her head in an oven. I keep telling myself that a dose of humility occasionally is a good thing, but I'm not really believing it at this point.

It's good I have the Incomparable Boogie™ to keep me company and make me happy. He loves me whether I'm a dumbass or not.

Who Cares? Magazine, Volume 3, Issue 16


Has Brad moved out? Are they quit for good? Who will get the kids? Who Cares!

What the Fuck is Wrong With These People? - Family Institute of Connecticut

Thursday, April 23, 2009

This is an ad running in the Connecticut Post, paid for the the Family Institute of Connecticut.

I swear I'm not making this up.

"Government punishment?" The last time I checked, the establishment clause went both ways, you dumb-shit. The only way the government is going to "punish" you is if you accept government money and then try to discriminate. You want to be discriminatory? Don't accept government money. Like teens living at home, you don't get to beg and boss at the same time.

"Teaching gay marriage?" As opposed to what? Teaching that discrimination and equal protection under the law only applies to "people like us?"

"Businesses will have to close their doors?" Which businesses would those be? Caterers? Florists? Event halls?

Seriously? Seriously? Who thinks this shit up?



H/T to The Friendly Atheist.

Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History, Volume XX

This is Emily Warren Roebling. She was born in Cold Spring, NY in 1843. She married a civil engineer named Washington Roebling in 1865. Washington was the son of John A. Roebling, who designed the Brooklyn Bridge. While John was beginning work on the bridge, the couple went to Europe to study caissons.

Their lives changed when John Roebling died of tetanus upon their return from Europe. Washington took over the project, but developed a severe case of the bends early in construction.

And this is why Emily Warren Roebling is so ill-behaved. Instead of allowing her family's life's work to be completed by someone else, she essentially became the first female field engineer in American history. While her husband was bed-ridden, she became intimately familiar with concepts such as material strength, stress analysis, cable construction and calculating catenary curves. She dealt with the politicians, the other engineers, the construction staff. She even represented her family's interests in a meeting of the American Society of Civil Engineers, where her husband was a member and she was not. For fourteen years she wielded the baton for her ill husband.

When the bridge was completed in 1883, she was recognized by Abram Stevens Hewitt, who said the bridge was "..an everlasting monument to the sacrificing devotion of a woman and of her capacity for that higher education from which she has been too long disbarred."

After the completion of the bridge, she and her family moved to New Jersey. She received a Law Degree from New York University, and passed away in 1903.

Truly a remarkable woman, with a formidable mind and will. Thank you, Emily Warren Roebling, for doing more than was expected, and more than anyone thought you capable. Ill-behaved, indeed.

Stupid Snow

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


That stupid snowstorm last weekend broke a major branch off our baby Maple in the backyard.

Poor tree. Stupid snow.

A Call for Recipes

As some of you may know, I have a local relative who has recently been diagnosed with cancer. She's a tough broad, so I'm optimistic about her outcome, and she will be starting her treatment fairly quickly.

Being who I am, I feel the need to DO SOMETHING TO HELP. And seeing as how she does most of the cooking at her house, I've decided that DOING SOMETHING will take the form of providing prepared frozen meals for her and her family.

There are some restrictions, though - she won't be able to eat anything spicy, and that presents a problem for me. Many of the casseroles and such that I like to make (and that freeze well) are spicy.

So I'm calling on my tens of readers to help me out, here: I NEED RECIPES. I don't want to just search for them on the Internet, since you never know how they'll turn out. Here's my criteria:
  • Must freeze well.
  • Must be relatively mild in terms of spices.
  • I prefer casseroles, but I'm open to other options.
  • I want personal recommendations - things you've made and enjoyed, and require very little labor to reheat.
I already have an awesome mac-n-cheese recipe, and I'm planning on making some of my from-scratch chicken-noodle soup, but I'm up for anything else.

Thanks for your help, friends. I have no homework on Saturday, the SmartMan's working, and I will be a COOKING FOOL.

I Get e:Mail - From The White House

This arrived in this morning's e:mail:

Janiece --

President Obama has been calling on Americans to work together -- street by street, town by town -- to tackle our country's biggest challenges.

Yesterday, that service got a lot easier when President Obama signed the Serve America Act, the largest expansion of national service since the creation of the Peace Corps. Yesterday's signing opens up new service opportunities for millions of people across the country.

Join your fellow Americans in putting our country back on track.

Visit the White House website to find a service opportunity in your community, and tell us how you're delivering on President Obama's call to service.

Vice President Joe Biden, First Lady Michelle Obama, former President Bill Clinton, former First Lady Rosalyn Carter and Senator Ted Kennedy all joined the President at yesterday's signing ceremony.

They all wanted to be among the first to answer the President's call to serve.

Now it's your turn. The Serve America Act triples the size of AmeriCorps over the next eight years, and focuses on our country's toughest challenges -- including clean energy, health care, and education.

It gives students, seniors, and everyone in between the resources to serve. And it strengthens nonprofit organizations to expand opportunities for everyone to pitch in.

You've already taken the first step by signing up at USAservice.org. We're so grateful for the work you've done since the National Day of Service in January.

Take the next step. Join President Obama's official White House initiative to renew America:

http://www.usaservice.org/whitehouse

We hope you'll use this historic legislation to enrich both your own life and the lives of others across this country.

Thanks,

USA Service

Now, I approve of the Service America Act in principal, since it's designed to help people get to work and improve the state of our nation. I've been a volunteer most of my life, and I strongly believe people need to donate some time, energy or money to make the world a better place.

But I also recognize that not everyone feels that way, and your can't legislate values. Regardless of this Act and the President's call to service, I will continue to be a volunteer and value service. I want my mid-life career change to reflect a desire to serve. My Hot Mom is such a busy volunteer she needs a vacation from her volunteer work. My Smart BIL serves on the Housing Commission for his town, and is local "go-to guy" for every senior in the County who needs a bit of work done (along with a chat). My cousins volunteer at their churches, HOA's and other community organizations. This particular value runs in our family, and we would no more abandon it than we would abandon our religious beliefs just because the government passed some law.

So why does the government believe this will effect change among those people who don't value service? I'm not pointing and laughing, here - I really want to know. What change does the President and the Bill's sponsors hope to effect as the result of signing this Bill into law?

I don't get it.

Ebola Project and Me - A Conversation

Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Ebola: Hello! I'm baaa-aaack!

Me: Swell. Can't you see I'm on the phone, here?

Ebola: Sure, but I wait for no one. I am EBOLA.

Me: You may be EBOLA, but I'm on DUTY. You'll just have to wait until I'm done.

EBOLA: ::pouts::

---some time later---

EBOLA: Are you done yet? Huh? HUH? ARE YOU DONE YET?

Me: Yes. What is it you want?

EBOLA: I need to talk to you about the 21st iteration of the design you did.

Me: You mean the one I delivered on April 14th?

EBOLA: That's the one. We have a VERY IMPORTANT MEETING with the customer tomorrow, and I have VERY IMPORTANT QUESTIONS about the design.

Me: You're just now getting around to looking at my deliverables? You've had them for a week.

EBOLA: I operate on a JUST IN TIME model. Because it sounds IMPORTANT.

Me: If you say so. What do you want to know?

EBOLA: About the software licenses....

Me: I explained that last week. I had to manually adjust to accommodate the new load.

EBOLA: About the server specifications....

Me: I provided the list and the references on April 17th.

EBOLA: But you didn't look them up for me.

::cue crickets::

EBOLA:
And I need the server-sharing load matrix.

Me: The one I've sent twice already? I guess I can send it again...

EBOLA:
About the third party integration...

Me: I documented those requirements in September of last year.

EBOLA: About this OEM proposal...

Me: What OEM proposal? That was never in scope.

EBOLA: Did we forget to mention that? Oops.

Me:

EBOLA: Hello? Are you there? I'll need you on the customer call tomorrow, in case there are questions...hello? How come I can never get any decent engineering support around here?

Life Changes

Monday, April 20, 2009
As many of you know, I have been considering a mid-life career change once the Smart Twins are off the payroll.

Since they'll be graduating from High School next month, it's not like I need to make plans immediately - it's going to be at least four years before I can move on any graduate work to support a career change.

But that doesn't stop me from thinking about it.

Initially, I thought I might like to go to Law School in order to become a public interest attorney and work in public policy.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize I probably will not be able to achieve that goal without incurring some student loan debt. I really don't want to be 50 years old, embarking on a career that will arguably pay less than I make now while paying back student loans.

So I'm exploring other options.

So far I've looked at a Masters in Global Studies at the University of Denver's University College. This is the College I attend now, and the coursework would be consistent with what I'm used to, and the cost is more manageable. I'm also looking at the Josef Korbel School of International Studies at DU. They offer a Global Studies degree with an emphasis in Human Rights that sounds fascinating, but the tuition cost would be greater than Law School. Both of these programs can be done part-time, which is a plus.

I think this is the beginning of my mid-life crisis. I have so many things I'm interested in, and so many ways in which I'd like to spend the rest of my professional life, I'm not sure which direction to go. If I could afford to, I think I'd end up being a professional student for the rest of my days.

Of course that's not going to happen unless I divorce the SmartMan and marry some old rich guy with a bad cough, so another plan seems to be in order. Maybe animal assisted social work...

Social Welfare Policy

Sunday, April 19, 2009
My course for this quarter at the University of Denver is entitled "Social Services in America." I've been enjoying it so far, although my primary interest in the Public Policy and Social Services catalog is Public Policy rather than Social Services.

My next paper for this course is:
Choose an area of social welfare policy/social services that is of interest to you. Write a 6-8 page paper that reflects a service need or issue related to your topic of interest.
I have to admit I'm a bit stumped. I definitely prefer social welfare policy to social services, but I'm having trouble narrowing it down from there. I'm really interested in health care reform, but I'm already doing ongoing research on health care for another aspect of this class.

So what area of policy would make a good choice? Welfare? Drug treatment? Homelessness? Public education? Public safety? Immigration? Public housing? Energy assistance?

I want to choose something that is reasonably interesting to me, but I don't want to choose a topic that will make me want to open a vein after learning too much about it (like child protection services). I'm leaning towards public housing, since I recently listened to Gang Leader for a Day and found aspects of the Chicago public housing scene fascinating.

I'm open to suggestions, Hot Chicks and Smart Men.

Chicago Style Manual

Saturday, April 18, 2009
Parenthetical citation using the Chicago Style Manual sucks big hairy asses. And likes it.

That is all.

April in Colorado


Would someone please notify whoever's in charge of the weather that it's April 18th, and we really don't need to have 18 inches of snow on the damn ground?

I'm ready for summer...

Boogie Blogging Friday

Friday, April 17, 2009

It's snowy, slushy and messy in Colorado today.

Of course, that doesn't stop Boogie the Giant Schnauzer from enjoying the snow, and eating it like it's going out of style.

He was soaked when we got home from walkies, and since he went for a bath and a haircut yesterday, he smells like his shampoo - grape.

Which is 100% better than smelling like a wet dog.

Hypocrisy "R" Us

One of these things is not like the other:





Can you guess what it is? I'll give you a hint.

The photo on the left is the Bush cabinet, and by extension their cronies, who will not be prosecuted for condoning and authorizing torture at the Guantanamo Bay detention facility.

On the right is John Demjanjuk, being carried from his home in a wheelchair. The U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Cincinnati needs to determine if he'll be deported to Germany to face trial for war crimes during World War II.

Can you say "double standard," boys and girls? I knew you could.

Who Cares? Magazine, Volume 3, Issue 15


Mel's wife files for divorce! There was no pre-nup! This will cost Mel millions! Will he blame the Jews? Who Cares!

What Comes Next?

Thursday, April 16, 2009
My good friend and fellow UCFer Jeri has a post up over at Smug Puppies about what people believe happens after death. In it, she invites people to share their own opinions and beliefs on this subject.*

Because of the recent sudden death of her husband, such matters have been close in her thoughts, as you can imagine. Because I love Jeri, it's also been close in my thoughts since Bryan's death.

My answer: I don't know. I don't know, because I've never been dead, at least as far as I know.

That may sound flippant, but it's really not. Because I'm agnostic about spiritual matters, the most honest answer I have to such questions is "I don't know." I don't know if there's a god or gods. I don't know if there's some non corporeal aspect to being human that will live on after the physical body is dead. I don't know if we have "souls" or "spirits." I don't know if there's an afterlife, and if there is, if its nature reflects the kind of life you've led. I don't know if souls or spirits, if they exist, are recycled back to earth based on your Karma.

I don't know.

I do know that when I die, I want to make sure I can look back on my life with satisfaction, and pride. I want to make a difference while I'm here, and leave the world a better place for having been here. Since those are the things I can see, and feel, and impact, I try to live my life in a way that won't embarrass me when I'm dead.

As for what will happen to "me?" I don't know. But I'll find out eventually.


*As Jeri says, this is a sharing of ideas, not an opportunity to evangelize. If I do not already know you, and you leave me a proselytizing message of some sort, you will receive a smack from the Shovel of Doom™ and your comment will be deleted. Hell, I'll probably do it even if I do know you.

The Joys of Parenthood, Part 685

Today's the day.

I will be accompanying the SmartBoy to Traffic Court so he can face the music for the traffic accident in February that totaled his hooptie.

Is this teen-parenting thing almost over?

_______________

Updated 9:15 a.m.: We're back. That was a lot less painful than I had anticipated. The county had a plea bargain ready to go when we checked in with the Court Clerk, which the SmartBoy accepted with alacrity. 2 points off his license and a $70.00 fine.

So he won't lose his license, which means he can keep his job. The SmartBoy has had a series of bad outcomes the last couple months*, so I'm happy on his behalf for this bit of good news.

So now I have the day off, and nothing on the agenda. I love unexpected free time...

*Much of that was due to poor choices on his part, but no one likes to see their kid suffer.

Sad Duty

Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Today's Big Picture over at The Boston Globe includes photographs of the U.S. war dead returning to the U.S. at Dover Air Force Base under the watchful eye of the staff at the Charles C. Carson Center for Mortuary Affairs.

These events are called "the dignified transfer of remains," and I have to say, this is a job I wouldn't want to do. I'm very grateful there are members of the Armed Forces who can perform this duty with dignity and respect.

Fair Winds and Following Seas, to all our fallen comrades, and Bravo Zulu to those sailors, soldiers, airmen and Marines who bring them home.

Being Neighborly

Today I was going to blog about the Multiverse, because that's just cool. But I actually have to leave the house for a class this afternoon, so I don't have time to do the research. So instead of talking completely out of my ass, we'll talk about being neighborly, instead.

Yesterday the Denver Post ran an article about a volunteer group called "Rebuilding Together Metro Denver." These are groups of folks who have home repair skills, and go about the business of providing critical home repairs to low-income homeowners who can't afford to have their residences repaired.

They get their donated materials, supplies, labor and appliances from companies such as Lowe's, Wells Fargo and organizations such as the Colorado Roofing Association, the Association for Civil Engineers and Energy Outreach Colorado.

The work these folks do allow low-income home owners to remain in their homes, and live in a decent, well repaired house. Without this kind of help, many of these people would have to give up their house.

April 25th is the national group's National Rebuilding Day, where they'll hit the streets and get to repairing.

Thanks, Rebuilding Together. This is a really cool idea, and I admire your work. Being neighborly feels like a lost virtue today, and the fact that you're neighborly on such a large scale warms my heart.

What the Hell Were You Thinking? - Texas State Rep. Betty Brown

Tuesday, April 14, 2009
During a discussion on voter registration legislation in the State House of Texas, Representative Betty Brown made the following statement:
"Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese — I understand it’s a rather difficult language — do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here?”
I swear I'm not making that up. This woman actually got elected to public office? Really? Damn, Texans. Your representative seems a bit...oblivious.


H/T to Hot Blogger Kimby.

'Tard of the Week - Sheikh Habib Al-Habib

You have to love the Middle East. They've managed to take the somewhat defensible ethos inherent in Islam and twist it up until it defends an unconscionable misogynistic culture that makes me want to puke.

This week's 'tard is a Saudi judge named Sheikh Habib Al-Habib. He recently ruled that an 8-year-old girl, who was married to a 47-year-old man in order to forgive her father's debts, was not entitled to an annulment.

The reason? Her mother brought the action on the girl's behalf, rather than the father, who was the one who pimped her out in the first place.

Instead, he ruled that the girl could ask for her own annulment once she had reached puberty, and made her so-called "husband" promise that he wouldn't have sex with her until she reached puberty.

Yeah. If the husband is so inclined, I'm quite sure that "promise" will stop him from having his way with this girl. Right. And in the meantime, ole Sheik Al-Habib can continue to stick his fingers in his ears and sing "lalalala," secure in the knowledge that he's done his part to continue a patriarchal tradition that has no regard for the rights of girls and women, or even common decency.

Way to go, Judge Al-Habib. Your understanding of human rights and child abuse is simply stunning. 'Tard.

Colorado House Bill 1157

Colorado House Bill 1157 is currently pending before the Colorado Senate. This bill is an effort to regulate Naturopathic Doctors in Colorado. The bill is being championed by David and Laura Flanagan, who had a negative experience with a naturopathic doctor in 2003.

Please read the bill, and contact your Colorado State Senator to express your support if you agree that such regulation is a good idea.

___________

This has been cross-posted at Nothing Sacred, the blog of the Mile-High Skeptics.

Attention Liberals

I'm a liberal. In my typical contrarian way, the older I get, the more liberal I get. At the rate I'm going, by the time I'm 50 I'll be a full-fledged socialist.

So I tend to agree with most liberal positions. I think abortion should be safe, legal and rare. I believe our health care system needs to be fundamentally overhauled so that everyone has access to services, like in the rest of the civilized world. I strongly support gay marriage rights.

But I'm not a bread-and-circuses liberal. You can't have all these nifty services without actually, you know, paying for them. I guess that makes me a tax-and-spend liberal. I strongly believe in a balanced budget and freeing our economic security from the kindness of strangers, so to speak.

And my fellow liberals are embarrassing me, and they need to cut that shit out.

Attention, fellow liberals!

If you want to indulge in a ranting screed about how the pharmaceutical companies are greedy, greedy bastards who could cure the common cold, or cancer, or any other disease, but don't because it's far too profitable to let people suffer, please have some ACTUAL DATA to back up your position. The comment "everybody knows it's true" is not actual data, and you're embarrassing me with your sloppy argument.

If you want to promise entitlement services for every man, woman and child who lives here in the U.S., please have some sort of actionable plan as how you will actually PAY for such services. Money doesn't grow on trees, as my Hot Mom used to say, and someone has to pay for your grandiose plans. If you want to tax the shit out of the top 5% of earners in this country to pay for your services, then grow a pair and just say so. You're embarrassing me with your lack of fiduciary acumen.

If you believe there's a right-wing conspiracy surrounding the financial crisis, and that the entire thing was part of some back-room plan to stick it to the little guy for the benefit of the bankers, please ensure you can support your accusations with EVIDENCE. Please note that I myself personally believe the financial Masters of the Universe were criminally negligent, so I'm not necessarily saying you're wrong. But extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, and so far you've produced exactly shit. You're embarrassing me with your tin-foil hat theories.

If you think that our current food production and distribution system in this country is inherently unhealthy and causes myriad diseases in the population, please ensure you can produce a sustainable, actionable system to replace the Food Industrial Complex. Ranting about the prevalence of antibiotics, hormones and chemicals in our food supply does no good if you have no plan to produce food on the scale that's needed to feed the population. You're embarrassing me with your Pollyanna vision of local food production.

In other words you need to actually engage your brain before you engage your mouth and use some critical thinking skills. You're currently an embarrassment, and you need to cut that shit out.

Thank you for your attention.

My Shippies

Monday, April 13, 2009
Yesterday, Navy SEALs rescued Captain Richard Phillips from Somali pirates. The action resulted in the death of three pirates. Captain Phillips wasn't hurt.

There are some who believe that such bold actions are inappropriate, because it will encourage the Bad Guys to attack our civilian ships in retaliation.

To them I say: Grow a pair.

An American citizen, performing their business in a lawful manner, is attacked by foreign nationals intent on criminal activity. Our response should not consist of hand-wringing and negotiations. In this case, the appropriate response is to send the Navy in to do the job for which they're trained and paid: Keeping the sea lanes open, and protecting U.S. citizens and interests abroad. Given the authority to do so, they'll take care business, and send an unequivocal message to those who would attempt to harm our people and our interests.

Welcome home, Captain Phillips.

Bravo Zulu to the USS BAINBRIDGE, the USS BOXER, the USS HALYBURTON, and the Navy SEALs who carried out a flawless mission. My shippies. You make me proud.

Zombie Holiday*

Sunday, April 12, 2009
Easter is a Christian holiday, at least in this time and place. A time when Christians celebrate the ascension of their Lord to heaven, in all its gruesome majesty. And make no mistake - crucifixion is a gruesome way to go.

Many of my friends and family are Christian, and celebrate Holy Week. Their faith gives them joy and comfort, and since the assertions of faith are an unfalsifiable proposition, I'm happy they have a world-view that makes the world a better place for them.

But aside from Easter Egg hunts and baskets of candy, there's not a lot of secular activity around Easter, with the exception of retail establishments being closed. Usually that means the SmartMan and I eat frozen pizza and ice cream, and watch such religiously based movies as Independence Day.

But this year we'll be going to "Easter Dinner" at the home of some friends of ours who celebrate the holiday as a religious one. They know we're not religious and like us anyway, so we've been invited in the spirit of fellowship. Since we respect their beliefs and like to spend time with our friends, this is an idea I can get behind. There's a reason we have no friends who are into evangelizing us infidels and heathens - punching your friends in the eye when they try and convert you isn't very friendly, is it? Thankfully I've never found it necessary.

So in the spirit of fellowship - Happy Easter, Seder, Passover or whatever holiday suits your belief and needs.

________________

*I don't really think Easter is a "Zombie Holiday." But the idea of the self-important fundies splitting a seam at the thought of Zombie Jesus shuffling through the tombs of Jerusalem saying "braaaiiinnnzzz!" makes me giggle like a school girl. Because I'm immature like that.

The Circle of Yarn?

Saturday, April 11, 2009
I'm a loom knitter. I knit hats, scarves, and lap robes. I'm not very creative, and knitting with needles is a skill that is quite beyond me. The best thing you can say about my knitting is that I'm prolific. Knitting on looms is much faster than knitting with needles.

Once I had made hats and scarves for every friend and family member in my immediate circle, I didn't stop knitting. My relationship with knitting is way too OCD for that. Instead I found charitable organizations who would take my wares and find good homes for them.

One of those organizations is the Knit and Purl knitting club at the Longmont Senior Center. My Hot Mom is a member, and when she told me that the group routinely donated pieces to the local Head Start program, the holiday Adopt-a-Family program and the Cheyenne VA Hospital, I started knitting exclusively for them. That way I knew the pieces were going to people who needed them, and I didn't have to pay postage or haul bags of hats all over town. My Hot Mom could just drop off the pieces for me when I had a bag ready to be delivered.

After a few bags had been delivered, my Hot Mom started bringing back yarn from the club for me to knit into pieces for donation, and I became a "member at large" of the club. It seems that when relatives are cleaning out the effects of ladies who have passed on, they routinely find tons of yarn in basements and closets, and they donate it to the Senior Center for the Knit and Purl members to take home. Since I donate so many pieces, the gal who manages the group has started to pull out the whole skeins for me, which helps to keep my expenses down.

So my Hot Mom brought me a bag of yarn down yesterday when she arrived for our monthly family get-together. In the bag was a skein of pale lavender yarn that was purchased in 1972. It cost $1.17. This skein of yarn had probably been in storage in someone's house for over 35 years, taking up space. And now it's here in the Yellow House, where a portion will be loomed into a lap robe for a vet who has trouble keeping warm, and a portion will be loomed into a hat for a youngster whose family needs a hand.

I often wonder about the people whose donated yarn ends up on my loom, and what they knitted in their lifetime, and I also wonder about the people who receive the pieces that I create.

Knitting makes me feel connected to the human family.

Yay, Fellow Humans

Friday, April 10, 2009
Things have been pretty crappy of late. Not only is the economy in the shitter, it seems likes the steaming piles of poo just keep on flowing near, under and over me and mine.

It's really starting to piss me off, and yesterday I had to resort to looking at YouTube videos of laughing babies to lift my mood.

So imagine my joy when today my Hot Mom brought me a clipping from the Denver Post that partially restored my faith in humanity.

It seems that Chuck Forbes, a Wyoming resident, was waiting for a liver transplant. When the call came, a blizzard had closed the roads, and he and his wife were unable to make it to the University of Colorado Hospital on the Anschutz Medical Campus. Like many windy, flat places, blizzards in Wyoming are no joke, and this one resulted in white out conditions. To add insult to injury, Mr. Forbes and his wife were running out of gas.

So they called the Wyoming Highway Patrol and explained the situation, who then called the Wyoming Department of Transportation. WYDOT hit the road with a vengeance, and provided them with a snowplow escort all the way to the Colorado border, where conditions improved. The Forbes made it to the hospital, and Mr. Forbes received his transplant and is recovering.

Thanks, WYDOT. It's nice to hear about my fellow humans making good, especially when the bad news keeps coming.

Who Cares? Magazine, Volume 3, Issue 14


Lindsay feels alone and betrayed after breakup with girlfriend Ronson! No one loves her! No one understands her! Her father's still a putz! Who Cares!

Name That Logical Fallacy!

Thursday, April 9, 2009
Recently President Obama was making some remarks in Turkey, and made the following statement:
I’ve said before that one of the great strengths of the United States is — although as I mentioned we have a very large Christian population — we do not consider ourselves a Christian nation, or a Jewish nation, or a Muslim nation. We consider ourselves a nation of citizens who are bound by ideals and a set of values.
Needless to say, the right wing nutbars have lost their damn mind, which brings us to another game of...Name That Logical Fallacy (Or Obfuscation)! It's easy to play - simply read the short essay linked above, and identify as many logical fallacies or obfuscations as you can. The commenter with the most hits wins a special, special prize - either Liberal Jam (made with left-wing love) or Agnostic Knitwear (created using evolution's mysteries), winner's choice.

Get ready, get set...GO!

Animusic - So Cool



I'm not usually a huge fan of animation, but this deserves some admiration.


H/T to my Hot Mom.

The 95 Pound Delicate Flower

Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Boogie the Giant Schnauzer if kind of a delicate flower when it comes to health issues. You'd think such a big, manly dog would be of robust health, charging through life with stubby tail wagging and tongue lolling.

Not so.

He has mild chronic kidney disease, which requires triannual renal profiles and a low-protein diet. He's subject to a variety of noncancerous fatty skin tumors, which require needle biopsies just in case this bump isn't benign. His delicate skin is subject to rashes if he's not bathed and clipped monthly. He's required foot casts for a broken toe (it's healed), hip X-rays to determine why he falls up the stairs (he's a colossal klutz) and surgery to remove a suspicious lump where the needle biopsy was inconclusive (it was benign). Now that he's a senior dog, he requires periodic exams more often than he did as a young fellow.



All this in addition to the normal immunizations and medications all pooches need for good health. The result? Vet visits that cost almost $300.00.

It's a good thing he's so cute.

I Love My Friends

Tuesday, April 7, 2009
That's all - nothing earth shattering. I just wanted to let everyone know that I love my friends.

'Tard of the Week - "Jesusophile"



Just...wow. This is so fucking ignorant I don't even know where to begin. Can you imagine being married to this stupid motherfucker? The mind just boggles. If I was a Christian, I think I'd have to track this guy down and punch him in the throat for making me look bad by association.

Ur doing it rong.

Internal Work Conversations - The 2nd Coming of the Ebola Project

Monday, April 6, 2009
Me: I hate this damn project. This is the 18th iteration of my design, and I still have no idea if they're any closer to selling the fucking thing.

Myself: You said it, sister. It's the second coming of the Ebola project. Without the anti-viral medication.

Me: I know! And now they want me to design it around a software load that's not yet generally available. And you know what that means.

Myself: Why yes, I do. It means the new capacity tables aren't loaded into the configuration tool, so I have to jury-gig it to get the correct algorithms to run against the traffic flow. Otherwise, the DSP count will be off, and the correct number of licenses will have to be manually calculated...

Me:
Will you shut the fuck up? I'm trying to determine the correct Erlang load per IP station.

Myself: Don't mess with the average hold time, or the busy hour call completion calculation will be off.

Me: I know! Christ, I've only been doing this for 8 years, I think I know the variables by now! Why do you think I need reminding?

Myself: Because you have Mad Cow?

Me:
Oh. That.

Myself: Yes, that. Don't forget you have to calculate the load for all 134 locations.

Me: I'd rather stick a fork in my eye. You realize this work will have to be done again once the new capacities are supported in the tool?

Myself: Don't remind me. But that's why they pay us the big bucks. With benefits!

Me: Why don't you make yourself useful and go get us a drink?

Myself: Because it's only 4:00 p.m.

Me: Would you inject me with Ebola, then?

Myself: That I can arrange.

March 'Tard of the Month

I'm such a slacker. Here it is, April 6th, and we still haven't voted for the March 'Tard of the Month. I suck.

This month's contestants are Genine Compton, who believes breast feeding her child while talking on the phone and driving her other children to school is no more risky than walking down the street; yours truly, who believes everyone should should look at the world exactly as I do; The Abstinence Clown, who uses juggling and machete references to talk about why sex is teh eeevil; Ari Fleischer, who is apparently stuck in some Cheney-induced time warp; and Pope Benedict XVI, who is stuck in his own self-induced non-reality world.

Sunday Blatherations

Sunday, April 5, 2009
After doing about seven hours of homework yesterday, today I'll be driving North to have lunch with my Hot Mom. The SmartMan will be staying home, finishing the rebuild on his PC, walking the Incomparable Boogie™, and rewatching The Wire, simply the best cop drama on television ever.

That's pretty much our scintillating schedule for this Sunday, and in fact, I really don't have anything at all of substance to blather about today. Which makes today unlike any other Sunday, actually.

Skepticism and Faith

Saturday, April 4, 2009

I’m fairly new to the skeptical movement. While I’ve long been a fan of critical thinking and the scientific method, it’s only been in the last year or two that I’ve been actively seeking out the skeptical community through online forums, SkeptiCamp, and podcasts. I’m enjoying being a member of this community, and the longer I hang around, the more I learn, and the more I sharpen my critical thinking skills.

However, there’s one thing that bothers me about our community, and that’s the inherent assumption that someone who self-identifies as a skeptic is automatically assumed to also be an atheist. This first came to my attention during last year’s Colorado SkeptiCamp 2, where many of the speakers made the assumption that the audience was predominantly atheist.

Subsequent research revealed a perception of the skeptical movement where atheism always equaled skepticism, and vice versa. This bothers me.

I think making this association, and allowing it to go unchallenged in mainstream media, hurts the skeptical movement. While there are clearly a large number of skeptics who also consider themselves atheists, the designations are not necessarily mutually inclusive. By insinuating they are, the skeptical movement essentially excludes the majority of humanity from even joining the conversation.

I know many people who would be considered critical thinkers by any reasonable standard and would be a fine addition to the ranks of the skeptics. But to a greater or lesser degree, they’re people of faith, and feel their personal beliefs preclude them from engaging with us. This assumption that being a person of faith and being a skeptic are mutually exclusive roles keeps them from adding their voice to the discussion, and we’re the poorer for it. Since they believe their faith will be mocked and ridiculed, they choose not to address areas of mutual concern, such as Intelligent Design in public schools, alternative medicine, the anti-vaccination movement and many more.

I’m not talking about inviting Young Earth Creationists or the Westboro Baptist Church to the table to discuss separation of church and state, but including liberal, progressive people of faith to join us in discussing areas of mutual interest. To do so is to everyone’s benefit. Promoting critical thought, science-based medicine, and the protection of the innocent from the purveyors of woo is an agenda where atheists, agnostics and people of faith can all agree on the common good.

Let’s not inadvertently exclude potential allies by being unnecessarily exclusive.

________________________

This has been cross-posted at Nothing Sacred, the blog of the Mile-High Skeptics.

Loot! Loot! LOOT for ME!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Boy, those folks over at Jared can see my SmartMan coming a mile away.

Shiny! Thanks, SmartMan.

I Like Doggies, Part III, or Boogie Blogging Friday


::drool::

My SmartMan and Me - 11 years

Today is my SmartMan's and my 11th anniversary.

Sometimes I'm not easy to live with (shocking, I know). Sometimes he's not, either.

But we're still together.

I think that's the case because in spite of our individual idiosyncrasies, we both make a concerted effort to treat our relationship, and each other, with respect. We've never indulged in name calling, comments uttered simply to hurt, or general nastiness. Since both of us are capable of wielding very sharp tongues, I'd have to say that I'm glad I met the SmartMan after I learned this lesson. Otherwise I'm quite sure the outcome would have been much different.

So as long as the days where he makes me laugh far outnumber the days when I want to stab him with a fork, I think it's safe to say we're that boring old married couple. You know - that one.

And that suits me just fine.

Who Cares? Magazine, Volume 3, Issue 13


Is Simon burnt out on American Idol? Is the pressure JUST TOO MUCH? Where will Idol find another judge with Simon's caustic commentary and atrocious manners? Who Cares!

I Like Doggies, Part II

Thursday, April 2, 2009
This was our family dog when I was growing up, the Incomparable Schultzie™. He was the smartest dog I've ever seen, and a good, good boy.

I Like Doggies


I'm a little early. So sue me.

World News Debunkerators Organization Exclusive

Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Dateline: Baltimore, April 1, 2009: 1:00 a.m. GMT
All Rights Reserved
World News Debunkerators Organization


In a stunning exclusive, the World News Debunkerators Organization (WNDO) has finally determined the actual purpose of the secretive on-line organization known only as "The UCF."

While some on-line sleuths believe they are a government funded society whose purpose is to besmirch the reputations of pseudo-scientists, these reports were made in error, without the tireless diligence of WNDO reporters. Additionally, threats of lawsuits have resulted in no public revelations of this organization's true purpose.

Following an exhaustive investigation that spanned three continental breakfasts, WNDO has finally found definitive proof of the nefarious schemes attributed to The UCF:


Clearly, this group's ultimate goal is nothing less than world domination. Their New World Order will include leadership inspired by Frank Gorshin, and the dictate that all communities be organized in the image of a Biker Gang, complete with hazing, a Lead Bitch, and muffler free modes of transportation.

You heard it here first, folks, and remember:

WNDO - Your Window On the World

Happy April First, Hot Chicks and Smart Men.