'Tard of the Week - Sheriff Larry Deen

Saturday, March 6, 2010
I swear I couldn't make this shit up. It really just writes itself.

This week's 'tard is the Sheriff of Bossier Parish in Louisiana, Larry Deen. He's VITALLY CONCERNED about the safety of his Parish should disaster strike. So he has undertaken to protect his Parish with the stupidest idea in the history of the world: The Operation Exodus Emergency Plan. From the news release:
Operation Exodus, will provide for self-sufficiency in the event of a manmade or natural disaster or a terrorist attack. Exodus will take local volunteers, train them and use them in response to a catastrophic disaster in the area. These volunteers will work in conjunction with the Bossier Sheriff’s Office to secure and protect viable resources in such an event.
The won't be working to secure and protect "unviable" resources, though.

According to Sheriff Deen, "homegrown terrorists are in our midst," and so he needs to arm and train his homegrown militia in order to make the good citizens of Bossier Parish feel safe.

According to Rachel Maddow's March 3rd report on the group, 195 of the 200 "volunteers" for this little group are white. White men, and if the video from their "training" is any indication, they're mostly old white men with potbellies, and their hand-to-hand training could take some tips from the kiddy class at the local Tai Kwan Do dojo. See the photo on the right? The U.S. Census indicates approximately 21% of the population Bossier Parish are black, but apparently they're not invited to this little (tea) party.

Here's the most unbelievable part of the story - TRMS and TPM reports that these redneck chuckleheads are being issued shotguns, riot shields, batons, and have a .50 caliber machine gun mounted onto a vehicle they refer to as "The War Wagon." Because nothing says "civil law enforcement" like a .50 caliber machine gun, a gun that was specifically designated as an anti-equipment weapon by the Geneva Convention before it became a "guideline" rather than an international treaty on the behavior of nations at war.

Where, exactly, does a podunk Sheriff's department get a .50 caliber machine gun? And how, exactly, does mounting such a weapon on a "War Wagon," (presumably Cousin Beauregard's 1985 Ford Pickup) constitute an appropriate law enforcement activity?

And while we're at it, I'm QUITE SURE that the 21% of the citizens of Bossier Parish who can't be categorized as "patriotic members of Operation Exodus," i.e., people of color, are going to feel MUCH, MUCH SAFER knowing that all these mullet haired yahoo's are ON THE JOB, YESSIREE, BOB.

What the fuck was Sheriff Deen thinking? Not only is he intentionally isolating the people of color in his community, he's setting up a situation in his Parish that has the potential, even the LIKELIHOOD of getting completely out of control. And when you throw a .50 caliber machine gun into that mix, no good will come of this. No good at all.

Fucking 'tard.

10 comments:

Gristle McThornbody said...

It's like these end-of-times, survivalist 'tards stepped right out of a Stephen King book.

This trend towards groups of rightwing assorted nuts arming themselves to the teeth and organizing is really starting to give me pause. It ain't the government that I fear -- it's them and the anarchy they represent and almost seem to want.

WendyB_09 said...

Ah, yes, the South shall rise again and the only war that ever counted is still not over yet.

What?

I guess we should be relieved that no white robes and hoods are being issued with the shotguns, riot shields, and batons. I'm sure that's reassuring to that other 21% of the population down there.

Yeesh.

Steve Buchheit said...

Wait, isn't a 50cal on a pickup called a "Technical", not a "War Wagon"? You know, the kind of shit we blew up in Somalia and Iraq?

Yep, the old "I really need to get a gun" feelings are flaring up. Again.

Random Michelle K said...

Oooh! I need a 50cal don't I? Don't I?

Steve Buchheit said...

Well, Michelle, they do make nice sniper rifles. And there's a whole civilian organization devoted to target shooting using them.

And then again, such a sniper rifle was recently used to make the longest sniper kill on record. It was at a mile and a half made by a Canadian Corporal. Damn Canuks. Messing with our records (IIRC, the previous record was a mile and a quarter made my a US Marine in Vietnam).

Janiece said...

I think the UCF needs a .50 cal for our soon-to-be constructed "compound," where we shall hide out when the loonies take over the asylum that used to be the U.S.

Where were we going to build, again?

Matt said...

Has anyone else read "Under the Dome" by Stephen King? Scary parallels, here.

astranavigo said...

Well, since Steve already said it (hey; I'm a bit late to the dance here) - a .50cal welded on the back of Cousin Beauregarde's F150 is, indeed, called a 'Technical'; not a 'War Wagon'.

(This reminds me of a fellow I knew in high school - seems every high-school had one - he took the time to cut a 3" pipe to a length of eight inches; he used his Dad's pipe-threader to cut threads on the bare-end, then drilled a hole in one of two 3" caps.

He then capped one end and poured gunpowder to the brim; drilled a hole in the other cap and fitted it with a piece of waxed string. After capping the other end, he brought it to school, telling us he'd made the 'world's biggest firecracker.'

I told him, "No, Bill - you didn't make a firecracker. That's a pipe bomb....)

Janiece said...

Hi Will.

Never underestimate the destructive power of the red-necked, undereducated populist. I personally find the fact that Sheriff Deen made a Technical and calls it a patriotic act to be highly ironical. Or stupid. Or both.

Anne C. said...

Clearly, someone's been watching too much Mad Max, Waterworld, and Book of Eli.

If the Rapture comes, won't these people be taken care of in Heaven?