My Misogyny - Let Me Show You It*

Saturday, September 4, 2010
I was listening to the Bob and Elvis show last week, and Bob was complaining that his doofus neighbor let his wife mow the lawn. Bob thought this was an especially egregious example of not-manliness, and while listening, I had to agree.

But it did make me think about my own gender-based stereotypes.

I consider myself a feminist. I have definite opinions about equal pay for equal work, the ability of women to be considered on a level playing field with men, and the inclusion of women in public life. But there are some things about which I am decidedly backwards:
  • The mowing of lawns. If a man and a woman live in the same house, and there's a lawn to be mowed, the man should get his hairy butt out there and mow the damn lawn. The couple that owns the home behind us doesn't adhere to this truism - the woman mows the lawn. It makes me assume the man is a big putz. Disclaimer: This assumes, of course, that he's physically able to do so.
  • Dying of hair. If you don't like the color of your hair and you're a woman, feel free to join the 80% of American women whose hair color is not their own. If you're a man - learn to live with it. Seriously. 
  • Wearing of wigs/toupees. If you're a woman and you lose your hair for some reason, please enjoy the really remarkably realistic wigs available for your use if that's what makes you happy. If you're a man - again, learn to live with it, you big sissy. Shaving your head is so much more attractive than even the highest quality toupee. Trust me on this one.
  • Personal grooming. If I was a single kind of gal instead of happily ensconced in my contented rut with the Smart Man, I would never consider a man who spent more time on his personal grooming than I did. I'm not talking about health maintenance such as exercise and such. I mean personal grooming. If you take longer to fix your hair than I do, you're a write-off. 
Do I realize that this makes me a big ole hypocrite? Sure do. Do I realize that this is unfair, because everyone should be entitled to do whatever they need to do in order to feel good themselves? Yep. Am I going to change my mind? Probably not. Because I'm backwards. 

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*I'm not really a misogynist. But that sounds so much better than "The Awareness of my Gender-Based Stereotypes - Let Me Show You It."

16 comments:

Phiala said...

I mow the grass. I also fix the plumbing, and repair the shingles. I like fixing things, and I'm good at it. Ditto for yardwork. Nick doesn't, though he can if needed. (Except when he physically can't due to back problems, but that's not why he doesn't most of the time.)

Nick cooks. He also owns more shoes than I do, and it takes him longer to get ready to leave the house, including personal grooming.

He sucks at cleaning, though, which means I do far more than half of the household tasks. The only part I care about is division of effort, not which part goes to whom.

He's never dyed his hair, but if he did it wouldn't be a color found in nature. I assume that falls under a different category? I have dyed mine, but for effect.

I put actually caring about things like that in the same class as actually caring about other gender role issues, like who gets to go to college or be good at math or get married.

Warner (aka ntsc) said...

I agree with you totally on all but the first point. Men who dye hair or wear wigs for purposes of theater don't count.

Household chores have a way of dividing themselves. As long as the division is equitable.

My wife does the laundry, ironing and most of the meal preparation, although I do grill what she has prepared.

I take out the garbage, do almost all of the dishes, and wash the floors. I also do a lot of food prep, as in a 10 gallon stock pot of chicken stock cooking which will get canned tomorrow while the dark beef stock cooks.

Some stuff gets split, she paid for the bathroom sink, I installed it.

ublap - sound my head makes if my wife decides household chores aren't evenly split.

Eric said...

What if I can finally retire from the law and dye my hair bright red or maybe purple?

I'm not saying it couldn't happen...

Eric said...

Oo! Or green! I love green!

Warner (aka ntsc) said...

And I agree with Phiala on hair color for effect. That is different.

fampla - sound of head on second bounce

Janiece said...

Phiala, I wrote this mostly for it's humorous effect. The fact of the matter is that I don't really care, either, and as you note - it's the division of effort that matters.

Although I probably wouldn't be attracted to a man who chose to dye his hair due to vanity. Because he would be too vain for my taste. Symptomatic, rather than the core issue, so to speak.

Perhaps I should put a disclaimer...

Jim Wright said...

Wife mowing the lawn, on the giant tractor? Her feet don't even touch the pedals - the BRAKE pedals. Yeah, bad juju there. I'll mow, thank you.

I have never ever understood toupees, combovers, or hair plugs. Or hair in a can, for that matter. Of course, my hair has been no longer than half a centimeter for twenty years. ten dollars a week for haircuts? I'm praying that it all falls out, sooner rather than later.

And I'm ready to go out now. Right now. It is my wife who makes me go back and change and shave and put on decent shoes. ;)

Janiece said...

Jim, Mrs. SKS's job is to act as a civilizing force in your life.

It works for you.

CkretsGalore said...

I dig it Janiece. Absolutely see the humour in it. Also I would have to agree with you.

I mow the lawn cuz I actually like it. If I didn't, Manfriend would totally be expected to get his ass out there.

"Metro" Men are icky. If a man takes more time than I to get ready then he's fallen into the DB category.

John the Scientist said...

You and my wife would get along just fine. The other day one of the Chinese neighbor women was mowing a big ol' lawn that really requires a lawn tractor - with a push mower.

My wife was yelling (inside closed car windows): "This isn't China anymore. Tell your husband to get his lazy FOB ass out there and mow the lawn. You're making the rest of us Chinese women look bad!"

:D

Random Michelle K said...

The lawn mowing I think is a reflection of body strength. Men, in general, have greater body strength so it makes sense for them to mow the lawn (assuming a push mower and not a rising mower).

Michael gets the tasks that require greater strength, because I am a big wimp.

OK, the fact I'm a huge klutz also factors in tehre. Whirling blades of death and dismemberment? Totally not for me.

Darren said...

The mowing-the-lawn bit is the only one I found surprising. My wife mows the lawn. I shovel snow when needed.

This arrangement is mostly the result of my wife preferring to have lawn over other forms of landscaping - if she wants the lawn, she can bloody well care for it.

Likewise, I shovel because I consider a snow-blower to be a waste of money. I back my belief with my back muscles - if I don't want a snow-blower, I can bloody well shovel the walks.

I'm not clear how that makes my wife less of a woman or me less of a man (or even worse of a man), even in theory.

Janiece said...

Clearly, I should have put a disclaimer in.

TONGUE IN CHEEK. TONGUE IN CHEEK. I AM NOT IMPUGNING ANYONE'S MANHOOD/WOMANHOOD.

Welcome, Darren. I tend to do most of the snow shoveling around here, too - mostly because of the simple fact that I'm almost always here, and the Smart Man isn't.

Carol Elaine said...

I empty the garbage in my apartment, but mainly because my male roommate has a bad back, bad knees and uses a cane. You can bet if he were in better health I would push him to empty the garbage. And should CuteFilmNerd and I cohabitate, he'll most like be the one to take out the garbage, because he's stronger than I am and doesn't have back or joint issues, unlike me.

CFN does take longer in his morning ablutions than I do, but that's because he's damned near OCD about shaving - he hates stubble. Otherwise he's pretty average on his grooming - showers everyday, wears clean clothes and a little gel in his hair and that's about it.

I have a feeling I'd do the cooking and he'd wash the dishes, which is fine with me. And other household chores would fall along gender lines, but mainly due to physical strength issues. Except for the litter box. He's way more squeamish than I am about certain things, so I'd be dealing with the litter box - the contents of which he would take out to the garbage.

And, of course, I'd do all the techie things because he has no patience for any of that.

Jeri said...

I'm a total feminist and do the techie things. And of course I'm ON MY OWN in my shiny new box-infested cabaña so everything I do not hire is my task. I do make Zach assemble my Ikea flat-pack furniture because he enjoys it and is super-speedy at it - not because I can't. And I don't mow because I'm allergic to grass.

And yes, I get that it's humor. Still, metro men are yucky. I'm a sucker for brainy rugged individualists with their own, unretouched hair, possible beard/goatee, and jeans/t-shirts/flannel shirts. :)

Tom said...

Jeri made some of my points for me.

I had a male roommate, who was allergic and couldn't mow. I mowed. Does that make him the girl? Uh-uh!

And now I'm alone, like Jeri, and I have to do everything. I don't even have a TBS to help out.

And, alas, I don't have my own original hair anymore, at least in places. But I have toyed with dyeing my hair (when it was longer) to some strange color (orange, or like Eric, green) just for the shock effect.

I like to think I'm adult, but I'm often wrong.