Cruel and Unusual Punishment

Saturday, October 16, 2010
I'm leaving tomorrow for our company's annual sales conference. It's in Las Vegas this year, and as always, I'm girding my loins for the inevitable discomfort such events engender in me.

It's not that I have to travel - now that the kids are off the payroll, I enjoy traveling periodically, and I think the Smart Man enjoys baching it for a few days, too.* While I don't particularly enjoy Las Vegas (it's just TOO MUCH), I may take in a Cirque show while I'm there, which is always a hoot.

No, my issue with these events are unrelated to traveling or the location of the conference.

I don't like crowds. They make me claustrophobic, and because there are so very many people at these things, I spend the week gritting my teeth and hoping I don't go postal the eighty-seventh time someone invades my personal space.

And these events are simply exhausting. Part of it is the crowds, and part of it is being over scheduled, but the majority of it, I think, is that I'm enough of an introvert that this kind of Ra-Ra-Sis-Boom-Ba event sucks the life right out of me. I know some people find such things energizing and motivating, but for me it's just one long week of being inevitably drawn into the black hole of corporate-speak and "networking."

The technical talks are usually valuable, but all things considered, I think I'd rather stay home and tell the kids to stay off my lawn. 




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*The dog, however, is NOT AMUSED when I travel.

11 comments:

Shawn Powers said...

That's exactly how I feel about conferences. I often escape back to my hotel room for little 15 minutes "recharge" sessions of silence.

Good luck. :)

Fathergoose said...

Jimmy Buffett is performing on the 23rd in LV as he does every October.

vince said...

I do not miss the days of corporate rah-rah meetings. Crowds don't bother me if they're anonymous crowds (like when I go to the MN Renaissance Festival or state fair or a concert) but I don't like parties or social get-togethers where there are a lot of people. I also don't like surprise birthday parties, or birthday parties period. This was the source of much conflict when I was married.

If you can catch the Jimmy Buffet concert, do. I think you'll enjoy it.

Janiece said...

I don't like Jimmy Buffet. At all, at all. I'd rather go see Cher.

WendyB_09 said...

Yeah, I'm not so much for the rah-rah crap any more either. Expecially if we're someplace warmish, in the summer, and have to wear hose with heels and business clothes for some sessions. Yick.

While I don't have work-related conferences, I've done regular & steady volunteer work with my college fraternity. As a founding member of my home chapter I feel an obligation that someone has to keep the next crop of kids in line and off your lawns.

So when I'm able, I attend the bi-annual national convention, and any provincial, state or local events that show up here in Atlanta.

But these days if I attend a conference it is because it is a cheap means to travel places I might normally not get to go and/or see friends & family that live nearby. (waves to friends I got to see last August in DC)

Good thing is they keep prices low to encourage student members to attend - bonus is it's one price fits all. Sharing a room keeps that cost down as well. Then the other week a previous roomie for several events informed me that I was the roommate for next summer's conference.

'Scuse me? Granted, the last 2 events I could not have attended without this roomie, but if I'm going to have a roommate, I expect to ask or be asked...not ordered. That private room is looking better and better every day. If I even get to go.

But have fun in Vegas, I'd do the Buffett show, but then again I've been a ParrottHead since Jimmy started. I suspect Cher would be just as entertaining.

Fathergoose said...

Janiece,

That hurts! As a sailor I would have thought you would hold Rabi Buffett in high regards. While I don't consider myself a Parrothead others do, I supposes technically I am, but I'm an Orthodox Parrothead.
(Oh and Buffett has two T's kind of a sore spot with the Orthodoxs'.) Have a fun trip!

WendyB_09 said...

See, Fathergoose, I knew you were my kinda people!

Orthodox Parrothead is an interesting term. Probably would have to put myself in that category as well. I'd always been a solid JB fan, but until I worked at a summer concert venue a while back, never had the opportunity to worship in any incarnation of Margaritaville. Jimmy Buffett usually did two shows in Atlanta, so I'd work one show and attend the other.

We always had a blast doing his shows, promoters always brought in tons of swag for arena staff. Crowds were friendly and happy and multi-generational. We'd get there early just so we could walk through the parking lots and soak in the atmosphere before we had to clock in.

Got a really great shiner one year too!! Was heading through the parking lot to get to work, having toured it with a co-worker. As I walk past one camper, I get elbowed in the face and knocked over. Seems I'd walked into the middle of a football game and the elbow was the intended receiver's attempt to keep me from being beaned! They were cool about it, found a baggie to put some ice in and insisted I sit and eat a cheeseburger while I gathered my wits.

Yeah, boss was amused (WTF happened to you?)...when I was able to stop laughing long enough to tell her the story. Our usual EMT crew was equally amused, boss sent me to get my eye checked to make sure there wasn't any damage. Spent the night alternately squinting and applying more ice, which got a lot of sympathy from the crowd in my area.

Janiece said...

Fathergoose, I was never a big fan. But one of my ex-husbands went to that church, which ended up putting Mr. Buffett firmly on my "Do Not Want" list.

John the Scientist said...

I once amused myself by adding up all the estimated hourly salaries of the attnedees at one of these events, multiplying that by the number of hours spent at the event. On the event evalution form, i posted my calculations and asked if the organizers would care to explain to the shareholders at the next analyst conference that this was what they thought was a good idea spend X millions of the shareholder's money on.

Funny, that eval was never used as fodder fo the random eval excerpts on the post-conference emails.

Fortunately my company has been bitten by the austerity bug, and such stupidity is now purely confined to the sales force.

The Mechanicky Gal said...

Oooo, CHER!!
Does the outlay for a convention = value for the dollar? (I've never been to a convention. I am sure there are some for my field, but I KNOW they are non-productive. I deal with the results)
Jimmy Buffet - Too much for me (see previous comments on crowds, rah-rah-sis-boom-bah, and enthusiasm)

Anne C. said...

I recently spent a day and a half attending a technical conference. It was not in the least bit rah-rah, and in fact, when one presenter had (accidentally, I hope) presented material that was way way too basic for the audience (it was old news to ME, that's how basic it was!) the session was only held together by the politeness of the audience. Not too polite to mutter to each other how ridiculous it was, but 95% of the audience didn't leave the room.
I found it to be highly useful.

But, I imagine that is NOT the sort of thing you're attending.