Ask Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men, Edition the Second

Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Today's question comes from fellow UCFer Nathan, who asks, 
What the hell is wrong with you?
Oh, Nathan. So very many things, I think I'm going to have to divide them into categories for easy reference. And why the hell couldn't you balance that bombshell out by also asking what the hell is right with me?

Professionally

Patience, or a lack thereof. My various civilian supervisors over the years have all had one thing in common: A belief that I lack patience in my professional life. I'm not sure I agree with this, though. When I was a technical instructor, I was perfectly willing to repeat myself endlessly if I was failing to make a concept clear to my students, and they had a genuine desire to learn. If I have a customer who is doing their best to achieve a favorable outcome, I will spend as much time and will work as hard as necessary to ensure they get that outcome. These are not the acts of one who is impatient.

Or perhaps I have selective impatience.

What makes me a frustrated human in a professional environment is when people fail to hold themselves accountable. When people pass the buck, fail to take responsibility, or make excuses for what is clearly their own failure, I do, in fact, become impatient and tend towards holding them accountable myownself, since they're apparently constitutionally incapable of doing so themselves. This tendency is just fine if the person is a peer, or an internal resource. But I do this with everyone. Including my customers. Which they don't appreciate. However, it's also an attribute that gets me assigned to the most "challenging" customer accounts.

That'll learn me.

I'm not "passionate" about my work. I do like my job. I'm challenged in it, I like my boss and my teammates, and I'm well paid. But the fact of the matter is that I've done work that is vitally important, I've been responsible for millions of dollars of equipment and top secret material, I've led men and women where I've had a level of authority unheard of in the civilian sector. This? This is phones. And while I take my fiduciary responsibility to my company very seriously indeed, I'm under no illusions about whether or not it's "vital" in the same sense that my previous career was. So no, I'm not willing to travel incessantly, I'm not willing to work weekends (except in the case of genuine emergency), I'm not willing to sacrifice my family or my health. In corporate America today, that's defined as a lack of passion. I call that "perspective." Po-tae-to, po-tah-to.

Sometimes I'd rather do almost anything than work. And I do mean anything. Knitting, Reading. Gardening. Going to the dentist. Exercising. It's a good thing I'm disciplined. 

Personally

I have an addictive personality. Which means that I can never, ever, ever have another cigarette as along as I live, And that I'm always very, very careful about how much I drink, and when, and the alcohol content in the items I do drink. And that I stick with Advil and Naproxin when I'm injured or have surgery. And that recreational drugs are simply not for me, not ever, not even once.

I didn't get my emotional shit together until I was in my thirties. That's not really what the hell is wrong with me now, but it sure was in my first decade of adulthood. Christ, what a mess. Finding out the reasons for my poor decisions (and correcting them) has been one of the great blessings of my life.

I have a tendency toward self-righteousness. I find this to be one of my least attractive qualities, and so I try hard to keep it firmly in check. However, it does sneak up on me occasionally, and for that I'm deeply, deeply sorry. You have my permission to bitch-slap me for it when it occurs.

I'm arrogant about my own abilities. On the other hand, I think middle age has brought me a realistic evaluation of what I'm capable of, what really isn't my bailiwick, and what my limitations are. So there's that, I suppose.

I'm mildly socially retarded. What I mean by that is that I'm occasionally oblivious when I offend people I care about by speaking carelessly, or by making offhand remarks which may be construed as awful, even if I don't mean them that way. My social backwardness isn't an excuse for hurting other people, though, and I try to make sure people I care about are aware of it so that they can call me on the carpet when it happens. I can't fix it if I don't know it's broken, and believe me - 99% of the time, I want to fix it, and I don't know it's broken.

Really, I could go on for days about this topic, but I think my ego needs me to stop here. Thanks for your question, Nathan.

12 comments:

The Mechanicky Gal said...

Geez Nathan, way to put a stick in Janiece's spokes... (however, if we didn't share a lot of these characteristics, we wouldn't be Sistas from anotha Motha, Sistahs from anotha Mista, and thus, it's all good!)

quistr: Quistr from anotha mstr?

Matt said...

I never thought you were anything other than gold-plated awesome! We all have our moments, especially that episode where you tangled with the gendarmes in Penang (or was it Abu Dhabi?) but nobody's perfect! Besides, I'm told that once the ambassador agreed to the local government's demand for more aid money, that whole episode was officially swept under the rug.

Nathan said...

In fairness, you asked me first! And if I had to answer the question for you I'd say the biggest thing wrong with you is that felt the need to answer me in the first place.

:)

Janiece said...

Matt, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Tom said...

I knew there was a reason I liked you. What I didn't know what there were, figuratively, fifteen thousand reasons that I liked you.

I think your main failing is an inability to accurately assess yourself. That "arrogant about your own abilities" stuff is just absolutely wrong. Get with the program!

:)

imporb: the orb you use to call imps, of course.

Janiece said...

Tom, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Stacey said...

The bottom line, Janiece, is that you give a shit. About yourself, your profession, the world around you, your friends and your family. You are constantly re-assessing and you have an inherently good nature. You are awesome w/ awesome sauce.
PS - I'm 100% glad we're friends.

Anne C. said...

What's right with Janiece?
She is willing to look at her own faults and take responsibility for them and their consequences. It's one of the main reasons I love her.

Being Awesome with Apple Butter Sauces is not being perfect all the time. It's being a good as you can, when you can, and taking responsibility/giving yourself a break (yes, you can do both at the same time) when you're not as good as you would have liked to have been.

<3

Carol Elaine said...

^^^ What Stacey and Anne said.

Janiece said...

Stacey, Anne and Carol Elaine, I have no idea what you're talking about.

But I love my friends, too. :-)

Tania said...

My sister!

We love you for who you are. Don't forget it.

Dana Teel said...

Sounds like an honest attempt at self evaluation to me. Probably a better attempt than most could produce. You struck a cord with me when you were talking about the vitality of the work. I've felt that way before. I'm back to working for DoN now, so it's certainly more critical than it was when I worked for Motorola. Thanks for letting us get to know you a little bit better, the good the bad and the ugly. ~ Dana