2011 Flower Pr0n - Hawai'i!

Saturday, December 31, 2011
Here's the last of 2011's Flower Pr0n. A good way to end the year, methinks.



Missives from the Edge

Thursday, December 29, 2011
So I've been getting a little compulsive about my exercise regimen in the last month or two. The reasons for this include managing the stress associated with The Project That Apparently Never Ends™, trying to ensure I continued to lose some weight during the dangerous month of December*, and a genuine desire to strengthen my body. The thing I don't get about this new lifestyle of mine is how VERY UNLIKE ME it is. Like POD PERSON unlike me. I seriously hate to exercise. It sucks, it sucks HARD, and I can't think of a single conditioning or strengthening activity that I actually enjoy. But I've been doing it anyway, and get itchy when I'm denied the opportunity to keep to my schedule. WHO AM I, AND WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH JANIECE?
__________


This is something I actually heard: "If I need more processing power, why do I need another server?" I swear I'm not making this up.
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I spent some time writing thank you notes yesterday. I like sending snail-mail, as I feel people appreciate the effort of a hand-written note more than an e:mail or phone call. I guess I'm old-fashioned that way. Now get off my lawn.
__________


I'm going to be in Kansas City next week for an overnight trip. You know what that means - KANSAS CITY BBQ TURKEY. And, oh yeah, I'll probably do some work, too. 
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I had some yucky dreams last night that included being shut up in a crack house that smelled strongly of cat urine. I have no idea what this means (if anything), but it was gross.
__________


The Incomparable Anne™ came over last night to cheer me up and we all went to dinner at our favorite Mexican eatery, Las Delicias. The Tacos de Carnitas were fabulous, but the company was better. Anne's a good egg.
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I added lunges to my routine this morning, and based on the way my legs feel, I will probably need a front end loader to get out of bed tomorrow. In an emergency the Smart Man can usually give me a shove to get me up, but he's got an early shift. So I may be screwed. Perhaps starting with a quantity of 60 on my first day was not wise.




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* I have. Seven pounds, in fact. OCD FTW!

Missing

Wednesday, December 28, 2011
MISSING: A smile on my face and a song in my heart.

The Project that Apparently Never Ends™ is now officially driving me crazy. Again. I can't discuss the particulars here, but suffice it to say that I had a feeling this thing was going to stalk me for the rest of the fiscal year like a giggling, obsessed sociopath. And I'm exceedingly, horrifyingly depressed to be right.


Once again, if you need me, I'll be in the corner with a spork in my eye.

Free Shit Friday Winner...

Monday, December 26, 2011
...of the snap together trebuchette is Dr. Phil (Physics), with a random number of 33. The better to demonstrate "how things work" to college freshmen. Enjoy!

Merry Christmas, Every One

Sunday, December 25, 2011

A Christmas Story

Saturday, December 24, 2011
So I was trying to sync my iPod yesterday afternoon, and I kept getting an error. I restored the device to default. Same error. I followed a recommendation on Apple's forums to allow Windows 7 to repair the iPod file system. It ran for 10 hours with no result. The old iPod is dead...which is probably related to the fact that I keep dropping it while at the gym.

Now, I use my iPod A LOT. It goes to the gym with me every day. I wear it while walking the Incomparable Boogie™. I listen while I cook, while I do chores, while I grocery shop. For me, not having an iPod is AN EMERGENCY. And if you've ever spent an hour on an arc trainer without anything to entertain you except Saturday morning television, you know what I'm saying is nothing but true.*

And here's the point of the story. The Smart Man not only loaded the file containing my latest audiobook on his iPod Touch so that I would have something to listen to while killing myself at the gym this morning, he went to Best Buy to get me a new iPod. On Christmas Eve. AND included a case that came with an arm strap so that the new device might not suffer its predecessor's fate.

Yeah. I'm totally keeping him.

_______________
*Except for the fact that I TOTALLY realize this is first world problem and I'm a whiny git. Yes, yes, that's not the point of the story. Move along.

2011 Flower Pr0n - Hawai'i!



Free Shit Friday - Trebuchette

Friday, December 23, 2011



Today's Free Shit Friday offering is a snap together trebuchette manufactured and offered by E&M Labs.

I obtained this awesome piece by sponsoring E&M's founders over on Kickstarter. I'm going to specify that all assembly is required, and abdicate responsibility if the winner takes their eye out during assembly or operation. And get off my lawn.

Da rules.

So Proud

Thursday, December 22, 2011
Brian J. Clark/The Virginian-Pilot/AP

You know, I'm always proud of my service in the U.S. Navy, and I'm always proud of my military alma mater. But, really, I've never been more proud than the moment I saw this photo and realized what it meant.

So proud.

Relax, Damnit

Wednesday, December 21, 2011
So I was speaking to my boss the other day, finishing up my annual performance review (apparently I "exceeded expectations" for fiscal year 2011. Go, me.). Now, my boss is a pretty devout Christian. He doesn't make a huge issue of it, doesn't discuss it publicly, but I've know him for seven years. I know who he is, and his religious belief doesn't matter to me. I judge him by the same yardstick that I use to judge everyone in my life - whether or not he's a decent human being (he is). He knows that I'm completely irreligious, and that doesn't matter to him, either. He judges me on whether or not I'm a good engineer, a good employee, a decent human being. We understand each other on this score, and it's all good.

So I was a bit surprised at the end of the call when my boss said, "I hope this doesn't offend you, but I wanted to wish you Merry Christmas."

I wasn't surprised that he would wish me a Merry Christmas - he's a Christian. I know he's a Christian. He knows I know he's a Christian. I would expect him to celebrate the season as a religious holiday, and enjoy it as such. Why would he apologize for being who he is?

Which brings me to the so-called "War on Christmas."

Is there anything stupider than getting offended when someone greets you with good intent within the context of their culture? I'm an Atheist. If a Christian wishes me "Merry Christmas," or a Jew wishes me "Happy Chanukah," or a pagan wishes me a "Joyous Solstice," I'm going to take those greetings in the spirit they were intended, and wish them a joyous season in return. I'm not going to embark on some screed surrounding how Jesus was actually born in the summer, and the early Christians "stole" the winter celebrations from the pagans, blah, blah, blah. Because while it's true, it's also totally irrelevant to the sentiment they're trying to impart, and doing so also makes me an ass. 

Don't get me wrong - I think it's reasonable to react negatively if government funds are used for religious displays or if there are discriminatory practices surrounding access to public spaces on the basis of religious belief. That whole pesky "First Amendment," you know. But there's something wrong when people of good intent are afraid to greet others for fear of "offending" them. I think we all just need to relax, damnit.

Taking a Break

Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Today is my last day of work for a while. I'm taking Wednesday through Friday off, and Monday is a holiday, so I'm getting SIX FULL DAYS OFF IN A ROW.

I'm not one of those people who will check e:mail or voicemail while I'm on vacation. When I'm on vacation, I'm incommunicado, off the grid, not reachable. Because if I wanted to work, then I wouldn't be on vacation, you see.

I don't really have any plans, other than to clear my mind and try to get some perspective. It's been a long six weeks trying to close The Project That Apparently Never Ends™, and I need to decompress for a bit, and settle into a schedule that includes more balance and less high blood pressure. That way I can start the New Year with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. Or something.

Shock and Awe

Monday, December 19, 2011
Prepare to be the victim of Shock and Awe.

The Deal that Apparently Never Ends™ has CLOSED. That means a number of things:
  • I will now be referring to it as "The Project that Apparently Never Ends™." Trust me on this one - it's a phased project, and the final deployment is a moving target (one of the reasons it took so long to close). There's also the fact that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, and the current, related project for this customer is taking twice as long as predicted to end. That whole moving target thing. 
  • I can now spend some of my professional time on other projects and opportunities. I'm glad of this, as there's some exciting stuff on my professional horizon, and my teammates have been doing the heavy lifting since I've been MIA. It'll be nice to work on more than one thing again.
  • I won't be traveling as much, as the Project that Apparently Never Ends™ has been turned over to our Professional Services organization, and another engineer is now the technical lead. I'll still be peripherally involved, of course, but I've passed the baton.
  • I am going to be getting a fairly substantial commission check when it actually books, probably payable in my end of January check. Of course, if it hadn't closed we'd be eating Top Ramen for the rest of the year, so there's that. It's the risk and reward of sales. 
So money = good. Especially since my Hot Daughter announced last week that she has found a study abroad program through her University that perfectly suits her educational and career goals in both the near and long term. It's scheduled for May, and the destination is China. I strongly believe in the value of living and studying abroad, and I really want my Hot Daughter to have this opportunity. So you can imagine my relief when this thing closed in time for me to be able to use some of the money to help make that happen.

While I intend to be practical with most of the money, I have also decided to buy myself this fabulous new Tag Heuer Formula 1 ceramic watch with the diamond bezel. I promised myself that if I made it through this process without killing someone, then I'd reward myself with something nice. Because I want to, and because this sale has been more than little painful.


It also comes in black, but I'm pretty sure the white suits me more.

So in the short term - Yay, me.

Free Shit Friday Winner...

Sunday, December 18, 2011
...of the black Dansko Ryder booties is Anne, with a random number of 3. Enjoy!

2011 Flower Pr0n - Hawai'i!

Saturday, December 17, 2011


Free Shit Friday - Dansko Ryders

Friday, December 16, 2011



This week's Free Shit Friday giveaway is a pair of gently used Dansko Ryder booties in black, size 39.

This is another case where Janiece has learned that high heeled Danskos = size 38, low heeled Danskos = size 39. I've since replaced these with a size 38.

Da rules.

Let's Talk About Respect

Wednesday, December 14, 2011
I work in a male-dominated field, and I have my entire adult life. The first eleven years were in the tender auspices of the U.S. Navy. The next six were in the U.S. Navy Reserves and the telecommunications industry. And the last eleven have been in the telecommunications industry alone.

And during that time, I have come to realize that you can always, always, always tell who's a sexist putz and who isn't.

The sexist putz is the one who looks at a perfectly competent woman, capable and educated, one who is absolutely qualified for the work she does on every level, and sees one of two things: a child, or a servant. And they act accordingly.

Theses putzes assume that because I don't have a penis, that means I never really achieve the seriousness or gravitas necessary to compete or perform in an adult world. I'm not really capable of assuming a leadership position in my professional life because the natural order of things puts me in a subservient position. As a result, they're condescending. They're dismissive. They're assume that if a mistake is made, obviously it's my fault - clearly a man wouldn't make such a mistake when a woman is around to take the blame, evidence be damned. They don't feel they have any obligation to keep me informed about projects of which I'm a part. They don't feel compelled to actually read or act on my work product. And they take every opportunity to devalue my contribution to the team, while simultaneously expecting me to act as their beck-and-call girl without complaint.

When people show you who they are, believe them.

You want to know if a man is a sexist putz? Look at how he treats the women in his professional life. If he behaves with respect, valuing their contribution, their skills, their work commensurate to their ability, then he's probably someone who believes in a merit based work place, regardless of gender. But if he assumes that his wants and desires should be placed above everyone else's? Sexist putz. And if he acts confused, put upon, and hurt when his unacceptable behavior is called out? Clueless sexist putz.

The sexist putz is not entitled to succeed on the basis of my work. He's not entitled to call upon my loyalty to go "above and beyond." He's not entitled to expect me to take responsibility for his mistakes. He's not entitled to treat me with disrespect based upon my genitals. He's not entitled to anything but my animus, because he's a sexist putz.

And once I make that determination? I will begin to act accordingly, as well.

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

Tuesday, December 13, 2011
So I've been spending a bit more time at the gym lately. Part of it is a stress management strategy brought on by the Deal that Apparently Never Ends™, and part of it is my Hot Cousin's fault. She recently competed in her first figure competition, and her discipline and results motivated me to be a bit more disciplined in my own right when it came to my body.


As part of my new program, I recently purchased a heart rate monitor. I suspected that the automatic calorie counters on most exercise machines were a bit generous with their values, and I read that chest strap heart monitors provided a much more accurate measure.


ZOMGWTFBBQ, the calorie counters on elliptical machines are just LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE. The counts were off by almost 100%! Since I try to keep my calories consumed the same regardless of my gym routine, it's not as big an issue for me, but I can see how such metrics might lead someone astray if they tend to eat the calories they burn off during exercise. 


Not cool. Not cool at all.



The Tots - They Have Toys

Monday, December 12, 2011
Guess what? The Deal that Apparently Never Ends™ still isn't closed. I know - it's really a shocking turn of events. Which means I'm leaving this morning for points East and won't return until Friday. 

But I'll be leaving with this picture in my mind:



This is the haul we took over to our local Toys for Tots collection point on Saturday. We donate every year, but this year we used a different strategy. The Smart Man, my Hot Daughter and I bought toys all year long, and stored them in the basement. So when the holiday season was upon us, we were ready with our contribution. We might have gotten a bit carried away, and I couldn't care less. We dropped these off with a smile on our faces and a song in our hearts, proving once again that helping others is a splendid way to drive away the holiday blues. 


Semper Fi, Merry Christmas, and thank you to the United States Marine Corps Reserve, who run this fabulous program.
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NOTE TO MY DENVER BASED READERS: Toys for Tots here in Colorado is short 70,000 toys this year based on the number of requests they've gotten from families that need assistance. Help if you can, Hot Chicks and Smart Men - no kids should be without a gift on Christmas.

2011 Flower Pr0n - Hawai'i!

Sunday, December 11, 2011


A Week of Gratitude, Day Seven - Family of Choice

Saturday, December 10, 2011
Family matters. Family matters a lot. They're the ones that pull you up when you've fallen, are honest with you when you need a kick in the pants and remain silent when you don't, and share in your triumphs and tragedies with equal passion.

But what I've come to realize is that those relationships are always, always a matter of choice.

I'm lucky to have a good relationship with my Hot Mom, who makes Perfect Pumpkin Pie, reads Rolling Stone, and is the kind of person who made a retirement career of supporting the arts and education in her community.

I have two great kids, who are smart, work hard, usually do the right thing, and are working to become contributing members of society. Bonus gratitude: I genuinely like them as well as being tremendously proud of them. 

I have fabulous Aunts and Uncles whose kindness and love I have come to value more and more as I've gotten older.

I have wonderful cousins who were unsurprisingly raised by my fabulous Aunts and Uncles to be kind, interesting people.

The Smart Man's family is also my family now. They're decent, hardworking people, who have broadened my own worldview by including me in their lives. Their love helps make me whole.

I have friends in my life who I consider family, and consider me the same way. The Mechanicky Gal really is my Sista-from-another-Mista, and I can't think of a single thing she could ask for that I wouldn't give willingly and without a second thought.

And yet, there are members of my birth family, both near and extended, with whom I have no contact, and that's exactly the way I want it. Being a member of a family has obligations and duties, both of which should be taken on voluntarily. If someone fails to meet a minimum standard of human decency, I don't feel an obligation to include them in my family, and in fact, their exclusion makes my family stronger.

I am a member of a strong, loving family. I'm committed to these people because I want to be, because I love them, because they love me. I'm grateful for them all, each and every one.

A Week of Gratitude, Day Six - Being a Cool Auntie

Friday, December 9, 2011
Earlier this year, my Smart BIL and his Hot Wife had their first child, my Awesome, Awesome Niece. She had a bit of rough start, as she was very premature and weighed less than two pounds when she was born. But she rallied like the tough little trooper she is*, and is now thriving under the care of her stunningly conscientious parents.

I can't begin to tell you how much this baby girl means to me. I've never gotten a chance to be a cool Auntie, and her birth has given me a chance to fill a role I thought I'd missed. The Smart Man, my Hot Daughter and I are all goofy with love for this small person, and imagine ourselves taking her on vacations, introducing her to the things we love, and otherwise spoiling her rotten before shipping her back to her parents.

Being a Cool Auntie is very different than being a parent, especially when my Awesome, Awesome Niece already has Awesome parents of her own. She doesn't need the Smart Man or I to act all disciplinarian or encourage her to go to college. She doesn't need us to lecture her on the dangers of illicit drug use or riding in a car without a seat belt. She has her Awesome parents for that. She needs us to always have gum and join her on the roller coaster. 

A role I'm grateful to fill.

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*Seriously, this kid is going to be a Navy SEAL when she grows up. She's the strongest preemie I've ever seen, and when we went to visit earlier this year, she was bossing everyone around. And we turned two, thank you very much.

A Week of Gratitude, Day Five - My Smart Man

Thursday, December 8, 2011
When I was a younger woman, I had really poor taste in men. The reasons for this are legion, and include such perennial favorites as low self-esteem, self-destructive tendencies, and poor impulse control.

But as I continued on my journey toward being the person I wanted to be, I realized that I deserved more. I deserved a relationship that didn't make me feel bad about myself. I deserved a relationship where my partner saw me for who I was, and forgave me my faults while loving and admiring my virtues. I deserved someone who I loved and admired in return, who inspired me to be a better person without being condescending or contemptuous.

And I found him.

The Smart Man is my friend. When I'm wrong, he doesn't let me off the hook, but he's still on my side. He knows that when you go to the theater or a five star restaurant, you dress appropriately. When others hurt me, he's full of righteous indignation on my behalf. He knows that clip on ties are anathema for anyone over the age of seven. He sees me for who I am, and loves me because, not in spite of, that. He knows that black socks with tennis shoes are really a bad idea. He's generous with my family, and appreciates that I'm generous with his. He reads voraciously, and shares his passions with others. He makes me laugh, and even though he says I'm not funny, he's wrong.

These daily things are what keeps us whole, and what has stood us in good stead for the last thirteen years.

It took a long time for me to craft the life I wanted, and to craft myself into the person I wanted to be. And it took a long time for me to find someone to share my life. But I'm profoundly grateful that I did, and that it turned out to be him.

A Week of Gratitude, Day Four - Continued Employment

Wednesday, December 7, 2011
I've had kind of a crappy month on a professional level. I've been traveling weekly, working nights and weekends, and I had to cancel my scheduled vacation. I don't care much for this turn of events - I've done my bit for god and country, and people usually have to work pretty hard to convince me that giving up my weekends, evenings and holidays is actually the appropriate thing to do. When you add in the fact that I'm currently working with people who treat me like I'm their beck-and-call-girl and don't bother to actually read the deliverables I provide*, I find I've been more than a bit cranky lately. Okay, let's be honest. I've been bitchy.

And yet, my gig has a lot to recommend it, and it behooves me to remember that.
  • I get to work from home on a full time basis. Temperament-wise, I'm well suited to work from home. I have the necessary discipline to ensure all my tasks are completed on time, and in fact the company ends up getting more than their pound of flesh out of me. I work when I'm sick, when I'm exhausted, when I would normally be commuting. In return, I have the flexibility to be available when service people need to come to the Big Yellow House, or I need to take Boogie the Giant Schnauzer to one of his many, many veterinary appointments. 
  • By any reasonable measure, I'm very well-paid. This aspect of my employment allows me to save a significant portion of my salary for retirement, as well as pay for the activities and luxuries my family and I enjoy. I've been a member of the working poor, and let me tell you - money may not buy happiness, but it sure as hell gives you the freedom to pursue it.
  • I have extremely generous benefits. I celebrated my 15 year anniversary with my company in October, which means I now get 27 days of paid vacation each year. I get unlimited sick time. My total monthly out of pocket expense for health insurance, vision insurance, dental insurance, life insurance, and long term disability insurance for me, the Smart Man and my Hot Daughter is $468.74. My company matches a small percentage of my 401K contribution.
  • I have a decent boss. He lets me rant as I need to without holding it against me. He's honest with me in his assessment of my professional performance, identifying where I'm strong and where I need to work harder, without making it personal. He accepts feedback on his own performance gracefully and even attempts to change his behavior if a change is warranted. We don't agree on everything, of course, but he's fundamentally a decent man, and that matters. 
  • When you strip away the politics and boot-licking and get down the actual ENGINEERING, I love my job. There is nothing more satisfying to me than putting together a technical solution that meets my customer's needs at a price they can afford. And the more complicated the engineering, the more interesting it becomes, and the prouder I am of the outcome. Awesome.
When I look at the negatives and compare them to the positives of my professional life, I have a great deal to be grateful for. Professionally, I have found that pearl of great price. 

______________
*I'm never going to be the kind of person who allows others to treat me with disrespect in the long term, so I suspect there's going to be a "come to Janiece" meeting in someone's future. Won't that be fun.

A Week of Gratitude, Day Three - The UCF

Tuesday, December 6, 2011
UCF Powers - Activate!
I've been blogging since 2007. Since that time, I've been privileged to be included a Blog Circle flippantly named The Union of Collaborating Founders. The group started out very informally as a silly, surreal discussion thread on a now-defunct Bulletin Board, and then we essentially followed each other home, and the UCF was born.

In the years since it's inception, we've supported each other through the deaths of spouses, parents, and extended family members. We've supported a member whose house burned to the ground. We've simply been there for each other during our own illnesses and the illnesses of those close to us. We've gotten to know each other's families, friends, and partners. We've offered each other our skills, our help, and our love. And just one month ago, we cried together due to the sudden death of Wendy, one of our members. 

The growth of this community - and make no mistake, that's what it is - was completely organic. Over the years, members have drifted away, and new ones have been invited to join, just like any community. These men and women are my friends. Not my "on-line" friends. My friends. Each and every one of them represents a unique addition to my life, and I care deeply for their triumphs, their tragedies, and their happiness. And they care deeply for mine.

I have no idea how I got so lucky to be included with such an amazing, diverse, and interesting group. But I'm happy to be included, and grateful each and every day for this odd, diverse and spread out community. Thank you all, for being my friends.

A Week of Gratitude, Day Two - My Working, Healthy Body

Monday, December 5, 2011
Like a lot of women in this country, I've never been satisfied with my body. Even when I was young and thin, I thought I was fat and unattractive, and experienced the kind of self-loathing that only a young woman with low self-esteem can muster.*

But now, in my middle age, I have come to realize this simple truth: My body works. And for the most part, it's healthy.

I am capable of exercising my body, and my body has the strength and flexibility to do the work. I can eat the foods I enjoy, and my body has the capability to digest them into the components it needs to thrive. I have been fortunate never to have been stricken by catastrophic illness, and my immune system is strong.

Am I the same size I was at 20? No. Do I need to continue to do the work necessary to maintain my body in a healthy way, including dropping some body fat? You bet. But I have that choice. My body is capable. And with so many others who struggle without the option, I'm grateful for it.

______________
*What is up with that behavior? I swear, when I look at photos of myself when I was twenty, I think "If I looked like that now I WOULD WEAR A BIKINI EVERY DAY, EVEN IN WINTER." But not then.

A Week of Gratitude, Day One - Boogie the Giant Schnauzer

Sunday, December 4, 2011
I like snow! And grapes! And walkies!

There are many reasons why Boogie might be considered a pain the ass. He's a delicate flower, whose constant injuries, illnesses and tumors have resulted in a significant contribution to our vet's retirement fund. He requires monthly grooming, to the tune of $80.00 a month (including tip). He weighs over 100 pounds, which means finding room for him is sometimes problematic. He's a terrible traveler, so whoever has to drive with him must have either the patience of Job or a prescription for Xanax. And after drinking, he constantly wipes his wet, cold beard on whomever is handy.

But he's our Boogie. He's one of the sweetest dogs I've ever known. His simple joy in daily activities like morning walkies, snow, and a chance to have a grape often reminds me to get some perspective and take pleasure in my own daily life. His button eyes are still bright and curious, and if his advanced age means he no longer leaps at every opportunity to hop around and play, he still takes his guard-dog duties as seriously as ever, ensuring the safety of his pack.

Boogie is our good, good boy, and his presence in my life the last ten years has enhanced every aspect of my existence. I'm very grateful for my Boogie, for however much longer he remains my companion.

Free Shit Friday Winner...

...of The Bridgeroom is Womanji, with a random number of 1. Enjoy!

2011 Flower Pr0n - Hawai'i!

Saturday, December 3, 2011
Remember how way back in June I said that I took some awesome photos of tropical flowers while we were on our fabulous Hawai'ian cruise, but I was saving them for when the weather here in Colorado turned into ass?

We're on our second snow storm in three days, with another cold front slated to come in sometime tomorrow. I think that qualifies as "ass," and it's time to break out the reminders of the tropics.



.

Free Shit Friday - The Bridegroom

Friday, December 2, 2011
Today's Free Shit Friday offering is a First Edition hardback copy of The Bridegroom by Ha Jin.

From the remarkable Ha Jin, winner of the National Book Award for his celebrated novel Waiting, a collection of comical and deeply moving tales of contemporary China that are as warm and human as they are surprising, disturbing, and delightful.

In the title story, the head of security at a factory is shocked, first when the hansomest worker on the floor proposes marriage to his homely adopted daughter, and again when his new son-in-law is arrested for the "crime" of homosexuality. In "After Cowboy Chicken Came to Town," the workers at an American-style fast food franchise receive a hilarious crash course in marketing, deep frying, and that frustrating capitalist dictum, "the customer is always right."Ha Jin has triumphed again with his unforgettable storytelling in The Bridegroom.
Disclaimer: I haven't read this volume, as short stories are not my forte.

Da rules

Notes from the Road

Thursday, December 1, 2011
The Deal that Apparently Never Ends™ still isn't closed. I know - I'm shocked, too. Not. I was really hoping not to work this weekend, but it's not looking good for the home team.
_____________ 

It behooves me to find out if a hotel is in a bad part of town before I actually get to it. That way, I can avoid being accosted by homeless people looking for cigarettes. Trying to be fiscally responsible on my company's behalf is all well and good, but really - nobody seems to care but me, so next time I'm staying at the Hyatt, home of the $18.00 breakfast buffet.
_____________

When I'm in a high stress period, my insomnia tends to creep back, and I sleep poorly in hotels under the best of circumstances. This means I wake up at 3:00 or 4:00 a.m., unable to get back to sleep, and my current strategy is to just get up and go to the hotel gym. So by the time this deal closes I'll either be in the best shape of my life or ready to stroke out. Obviously, I'm hoping for the former, but I'm not ruling out the latter.
_____________

Sometimes, complaining loudly and often results in people taking your concerns seriously. Sometimes it doesn't. But either way, if you do it in writing, your ass is covered when the shit inevitably hits the fan.
_____________

While in a cafe yesterday in the Detroit airport, I rediscovered the wonder that is Tabbouleh. I'll be making some tonight for my lunches, because I'm evidently turning into a hippie. A Lebanese hippie.
_____________

Delta is fast turning into my airline of choice when I must go to points East in support of the Deal that Apparently Never Ends™. The flights I take are consistently on time, I don't have to check my tiny suitcase, and Delta has also installed these little power stations in their gate areas. Best. Idea. Evah.

Bright Side - Day Three

Wednesday, November 30, 2011
DAY THREE. I try to write to the Smart Man's Grandma every week. She's 93, and doesn't get out much. There's not much we can do to help long distance (she lives in the Midwest), but I figure the least I can do is make sure she gets some Snail Mail every week to brighten her day.

I also send her post cards when I travel on business or pleasure. I'm not sure how exciting postcards are from Kansas City, Rochester or Detroit are, but I always make the effort.

Over the holiday, evidently Grandma was going on and on to the relatives about all the neat postcards and note cards she gets from me, and how lucky I am to travel so extensively.

Even though the majority of my business travel is a big pain in my ass, I'll take brightening the day of the Smart Man's Grandma as a good day's work.

Bright Side, Day Two

Tuesday, November 29, 2011
DAY TWO: In spite of having to work on Saturday, the Smart Man and I still managed to find time to go to our favorite jewelry store to pick out my Christmas gift, followed by a tasty lunch at the Olive Garden. Hmm...mozzarella fonduta.

It matches the earrings he got me last year. Shiny!

Bright Side, Day One

Monday, November 28, 2011
I'm leaving this morning for points east, in yet another attempt to close The Deal that Apparently Never Ends™. This is, of course, after working nights and weekends for the last two weeks in pursuit of the same goal.

I've decided to look on the bright side, though. I've been getting crankier and crankier on a professional level, and the time has come to clean out my mind and vacuum away all the crap that gives me hypertension. So I'm going to address some BRIGHT SIDE issues while I'm traveling in the hope that they will help to manage the seething tension that has become my professional life.

__________________

DAY ONE: I didn't have to work on Thanksgiving Day. Instead, I spent the day with members of my family whom I love and enjoy, eating tasty food and visiting.

Free Shit Friday Winner...

Sunday, November 27, 2011
...of the Strawberry Jam is Vince, with a random number of 13, and Megan with a random number of 11.

I've not made it to the Post Office in a while, and with my continuing travels hither and yon trying to close The Deal that Apparently Never Ends™ it's unlikely that I'll do so anytime soon. Plus there's the whole "Christmas Rush" issue, and the fact that mailing shit to Megan means that I actually have to STAND IN LINE and deal with the GOOFY POSTAL CLERKS. In other words, It'll probably be after the first of the year before the jam makes its way to points North. Because, seriously, the Post Office at Christmas = AIYEE!

2011 Flower Pr0n - San Diego!

Saturday, November 26, 2011


Free Shit Friday - Strawberry Jam

Friday, November 25, 2011


Today's Free Shit Friday giveaway is two jars of strawberry jam. For some reason this is the second favorite flavor I make among my jam-fans, after the Awesome Apple Butter of Awesomeness. I'm not sure why, but there it is.

Da rules.

A Week of Gratitude

Thursday, November 24, 2011
Today is Thanksgiving here in the United States. Traditionally, today is a day to reflect on one's life and identify those things for which we're thankful.

Last year, instead of working through this concept on Thanksgiving, I blogged A Month of Gratitude in December along with a few other of my online friends. It was such a rewarding experience that I've decided to do a smaller version every year, in order to ensure I don't let my first world problems overwhelm the fact that I have an awesome life, full of awesome people.

So I'll be blogging a Week of Gratitude the first full week in December, from December 4th through December 10th. Even if I've written about specific topics before, I believe that identifying and acknowledging those things and people that make my life rewarding, fulfilling, worth living, is never a bad thing.

If anyone wants to join me, please let me know and I'll provide a link list at the bottom of each entry for those who want to participate.

Happy Thanksgiving, Hot Chicks and Smart Men.

Colorado Adventures - The Brown Palace Hotel and Spa

Monday, November 21, 2011
It's a triangle, even from the outside.

Saturday's Colorado Adventure was an overnight stay at the Historic Brown Palace Hotel and Spa in downtown Denver.

The Brown Palace is one of the Colorado hotels with a place on the National Registry of Historic Hotels, and it's been a staple in Denver's downtown landscape since 1892.

The Atrium Ceiling
Once we checked in, we walked around the property for a bit before heading to the spa for our couples massage. The hotel itself is triangular, and built around an atrium with a stained glass ceiling which was installed and has been maintained by the same glass company since 1892. The property is impeccably maintained, and the staff were all courteous, well-informed about their property, and extremely accomodating.

When can I move in?




Our room was on the sixth floor, and our weekend package included a rose petal turn down service, complete with chocolate and romantic music.

We decided to "dress for dinner," and made reservations at the Palace Arms, the Brown Palace's premier restaurant. In lieu of an appetizer, we decided to try two of their seasonal soups - the chestnut bisque for me, and a fall mushroom consomme for the Smart Man. They were both delicious, and for the first time ever, I was glad that the appetizer menu did not include crab cakes, thus forcing me to try something new. For our entrees, I chose the Japanese Sea Bass with Pearl Onion, Cauliflower, Pine Nuts, Crab, Blood Orange, and Picholine Olive. The Smart Man chose a Bison Fillet Rossini with Truffle, Foie Gras, Brioche, and Swiss Chard. ZOMGWTFBBQ. Those were the best entrees we've ever had. Seriously - here are two materialists, having a religious experience with our meals - just superb. For dessert we shared their take on a banana split which included dried cherries, chocolate noodles, banana rum ice cream, candied pineapples and caramel. This was one of the best meals we'd ever had, and Chef Thanawat Bates came out to chat with us as well, asking our opinion on some of his ingredient choices.

The Palace Arms, home of the best meal I've had in years.

Breakfast was the buffet at Ellyngton's, which was also tasty, but unfortunately couldn't stand against our experience of the previous evening.

This particular adventure was a bit pricier than our previous choices, but after the week we had we really needed a luxurious break, and the Brown Palace certainly provided that.

We'll be taking December off, as Christmas always ends up costing us more than we anticipate. We'll be resuming our adventures in January, with a stay at a Winter Park gasthaus and a visit to a dog sledding establishment.

Random Thoughts

Sunday, November 20, 2011
The Deal that Apparently Never Ends™ still isn't closed in spite of some really long days last week and weekend work over the last two days. Hopefully Tuesday or Wednesday. Hope springs eternal in the hearts of sales people.
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How sad is the current state of airline travel that when I finally have a good travel experience (i.e., planes leave and arrive on time, I don't have to check my tiny bag), I'm ready to dance through the airport, singing hosannas? Pretty sad. But thank you, Delta, nevertheless.
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Boogie the Giant Schnauzer sprained his ankle a week ago, and is still gimping around pretty badly. He's a bit better today, thank goodness, but it's going to be a while before he's up to snuff again. Poor Boogie - it sucks getting older, especially when you're smelly and need a bath, but can't have one because you sprained your ankle trotting across a field.
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As a personal observation, let me point out that just because somebody thinks they want something REALLY, REALLY BADLY, and they act like a pushy bitch because of that perception, does not mean they're going to get whatever it is that has their panties in a twist. Sometimes, reality is a pushy bitch in her own right, and she's going to pwn them. That's just how reality rolls.
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I finally got to the top of the waiting list at our awesome, awesome local library for Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin, read by Roy Dotrice. I'm now trying to decide if I should listen to it before or after the next season of the HBO series based on the series. Probably after, as it's not like I don't have 800 things in queue ahead of it.
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Legos are cool. Really cool. I hope the kids over at Toys for Tots feel that way, too.

If You Need Me, I'll be in the Corner, Committing Jigai

Tuesday, November 15, 2011
I've just been called to points East to try and close the Deal That Apparently Never Ends. Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men will probably be dark for a while, as I have a lot of things to do in very little time.

I will return anon, friends.

I Want to Hold Your Hand

Monday, November 14, 2011
I don't have much time today, so I'm embedding my favorite rendition of "I Want to Hold Your Hand" evah.  This is Chris Colfer from Glee. His character Kurt is singing for his dad, a widower, who's in a coma after a coronary event.

PACE Yourself

Sunday, November 13, 2011
Friday evening my Hot Mom and I went to see the Vienna Boys Choir here in Parker. The young men were extremely talented, and I thoroughly enjoyed their performance. The only recommendation I would make is to say that next time, they should skip the ABBA, Sting and Queen numbers and stick with Vivaldi and Haydn.

The venue for this event is the newly constructed Parker Arts, Culture & Events (PACE) Center. This facility was funded by a bond initiative a number of years ago, and we've been watching the progress of construction. We voted for it, as we wanted our community to have access to a variety of events and activities. It's located only two blocks from the Big Yellow House, which is also pretty darn convenient.

PACE is very much like most community auditorium and events centers - it has an indoor theatre, an outdoor amphitheatre, event rooms, an art gallery*, a dance studio, classrooms, outdoor patios, a media lab, and catering and teaching culinary kitchen. They're offering a variety of performances in their inaugural season, including opera, symphony, brass, chorale, and a variety of shows geared toward children. They offer classes for adults and children, including culinary, culture and arts, science workshops and dance.

For some reason the opening of this facility in my community - so close to my home - makes me really very happy. I'm delighted that the community in which I live has made a commitment to the arts in the form of the Center, and that something other than sports is being supported and encouraged among the resident kids. And the fact that they offer science workshops as well as the arts? BONUS.

The Smart Man and I will be attending two more shows this season (Celtic Nights and Rocky Mountain Brassworks), and I've discovered that Parker also administers a scholarship fund for low income families so that everyone might participate in recreational activities. Provided I can ear mark my donation for activities offered at PACE, I think I've found a new charitable cause.

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*The inaugural featured artist in the Gallery is one Tadashi Hayakawa, a Japanese American whose work is really quite beautiful...and out of my price range. But in a strange turn of events, he was also the Maitre'd at Junz, one of our favorite restaurants here in Parker. He's since retired from that day job and now works on his art full time. Good for him.

2011 Flower Pr0n - San Diego!

Saturday, November 12, 2011


My Band of Brothers

Friday, November 11, 2011
WESTMORELAND. O that we now had here
    But one ten thousand of those men in England
    That do no work to-day!
 
KING. What's he that wishes so?
    My cousin Westmoreland? No, my fair cousin;
    If we are mark'd to die, we are enow
    To do our country loss; and if to live,
    The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
    God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
    By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,
    Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
    It yearns me not if men my garments wear;
    Such outward things dwell not in my desires.
    But if it be a sin to covet honour,
    I am the most offending soul alive.
    No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England.
    God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour
    As one man more methinks would share from me
    For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
    Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,
    That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
    Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
    And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
    We would not die in that man's company
    That fears his fellowship to die with us.
    This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
    He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
    Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
    And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
    He that shall live this day, and see old age,
    Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
    And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.'
    Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
    And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'
    Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
    But he'll remember, with advantages,
    What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
    Familiar in his mouth as household words-
    Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
    Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
    Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
    This story shall the good man teach his son;
    And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
    From this day to the ending of the world,
    But we in it shall be remembered-
    We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
    For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
    Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
    This day shall gentle his condition;
    And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
    Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
    And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
    That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

Happy Veteran's Day to my Band of Brothers and Sisters.

Miscellania, Part 2

Thursday, November 10, 2011
I'm still a bit weepy and sad over the unexpected death of our friend Wendy. It's always shocking when a peer succumbs to our shared mortality, and my heart aches for her family.
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I'm starting to like the Girl Scouts more and more and more. First, they decided to allow a transgendered youngster into their organization, and now they have a whole slew of new Merit Badges that reflect the requirements of living in a modern world. Contrast this with the bigoted asshattery that is the BSA, and I will definitely say that Girl Rule, Boys Drool in this specific case.
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Everyone's talking about the firing of Penn State's Joe Paterno as a result of the child rape scandal. I don't have much to add to what's already being said, other than to say each and every person who was aware of this, and did only what the law required, is a FUCKING COWARD. This is some shameful, shameful shit, and I don't know how any of these motherfuckers can live with themselves. Who witnesses the rape of a young child and says, "Gee, the right thing to do here is to walk away!" I want to punch each and every one of them right in the throat. With an extra punch in the 'nads for that heinous knuckle dragger Jerry Sandusky.
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Sometimes I end up being exposed to people in my professional life that make me feel like I've been transported into the break room of a used car dealership. Buy now! Pay later! What could possibly go wrong!
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I like pie.

Fair Winds and Following Seas

Monday, November 7, 2011
As many of you know, I'm a member of a blog circle called "The UCF." We're a merry band of conspirators, a community of friends and fellow travelers. I've met many of them, and I consider all of these men and women my friends. We share our tragedies and triumphs, respond with help and support when required, and our unofficial motto is "UCF Powers - Activate!" - a tribute to our diverse skill set and abilities. As a group, there's nothing we can't do.


And now we have a tragedy of our own. Over the weekend, one of our members passed away unexpectedly.

Wendy, I will miss your wit, your kindness, your generosity of spirit. I'm a better person for having known you. Our community - and the world - will be a poorer place without you in it. I lift my glass to you, and envision you in Valhalla, taking charge and putting the place in order with your indomitable spirit. Fair Winds and Following Seas, dear friend, and thank you for the pleasure of being a part of your life.

My deepest sympathies to her surviving family.

Miscellania

Today I was once again made aware of just how lucky my family is when it comes to access to quality health care and other employment related benefits. My total monthly out of pocket expense for health insurance, vision insurance, dental insurance, life insurance, and long term disability insurance for me, the Smart Man and my Hot Daughter is $468.74. I know for a fact that other telecommunications companies in my region charge associates who make half what I do more than twice as much out of pocket for similar coverage. That's some shameful shit right there, when a skilled technician is paying more for family health care than their mortgage. But for-profit health care is GOOD FOR AMERICA. Just ask the Republicans. And the Democrats. And everyone else who's in the pockets of big business.
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To commemorate her birthday, Marie Curie is being honored today on Google's home page, which is cool. But I'm afraid I'm doomed to forever link this XKCD comic in my mind whenever I think of her. Which, come to think of it, is not necessarily a bad thing.
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You know how your kids will occasionally do something that suggests to you that not only did you not totally screw them up, but they may in fact change the world? Yeah.
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I recently bought additional workout clothes since my old yoga pants were getting a little thin for wear at our local Fieldhouse. I have decided that I really don't like the form fitting shirts that are commonly worn for yoga, although I love the pants. I much prefer looser fitting sleeveless tops that give me some air flow. Live and learn, and it's back to Kohl's to replace the one I bought last week.
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That huge deal I was working on last week in New Jersey? It's still not closed, and although we're getting closer, I'm still on the lookout for the stink bomb. I was able to use my fabulous raspberry bag, though. I've decided I really like it, especially once I started using the shoulder strap rather than the handles to carry it. The only negative: My laptop is a bit too large for me to be able to use all the space efficiently, and is also kind of heavy for a bag that doesn't distribute the weight evenly across my back. I'm long overdue for a laptop refresh, so I've requested a smaller device this time. As to when I'll actually get a new laptop, that's another matter. But the raspberry bag is a winner, especially the zippered side pocket, which is just perfect for my Kindle, iPod and other items I actually use in-flight. But until I get the smaller laptop, I'll probably stick with my backpack for business travel unless I'm attending an executive event.

Free Shit Friday Winner...

Sunday, November 6, 2011
...of Gideon's Sword is Juan Federico, because he's the only one who wanted it. Enjoy, Juan!

2011 Flower Pr0n - San Diego Citrus!

Saturday, November 5, 2011


Free Shit Friday, plus my Shit List

Friday, November 4, 2011
Today's Free Shit Friday offering is a 1st Edition (library) of Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child's book Gideon's Sword.

Introducing Gideon Crew: trickster, prodigy, master thief.

At twelve, Gideon Crew witnessed his father, a world-class mathematician, accused of treason and gunned down. At twenty-four, summoned to his dying mother's bedside, Gideon learned the truth: his father was framed and deliberately slaughtered. With her last breath, she begged her son to avenge him.

Now, with a new purpose in his life, Gideon crafts a one-time mission of vengeance, aimed at the perpetrator of his father's destruction. His plan is meticulous, spectacular, and successful.

But from the shadows, someone is watching. A very powerful someone, who is impressed by Gideon's special skills. Someone who has need of just such a renegade. For Gideon, this operation may be only the beginning . . .
I do loves me some Preston & Childs. This book is a satisfying read, and I'm looking forward to getting to know Gideon better.

Da rules.

_______________________

In other news, I'm in a craptacularly foul humor today. Here are the people currently on my shit list:
  1. U.S. Airways. Pretty much always, every time I fly with them. I swear U.S. Airways is run by a Cargo Cult rather than by an honest-to-goodness corporation with people in charge who actually have experience in, you know, aviation. Why my company likes us to use them is beyond me. Oh, yeah - cheap fairs...that never arrive on time, never have enough room for carry-on luggage and come with extra helpings of rude associates! That's right. Hmph.
  2. The dude who comes on an airplane and then insists on using his smart phone, even after the doors are closed, even after he's told repeatedly and personally by the flight attendant to turn it off, ALL THE WAY OFF, all the while denying to the flight attendant that it's actually on. To quote the awesome George Takei, "You sir, are a douchebag." Not to mention a liar, liar, pants on fire. Yes, yes, I know the RF signal from handheld devices is negligible, and that the possibility of interference with avionics is miniscule. But you know what? It's the flight attendants' job to make sure everyone complies with FAA regulations, and you're making her job harder. Also? You're not that important, and you're not a unique snowflake to whom the rules don't apply. No. No, you're not.
  3. People who have access to my professional calendar and yet still insist on scheduling meetings where my attendance is critical during time frames where I'm already committed to something else. Why this is so effing annoying is left as an exercise for the class.
  4. People who insist on bringing their big ass roller bags on airplanes as "carry on" luggage. If your bag will not fit in the overhead compartment wheels out, it's too big to "carry on." Quit being a selfish SOB and check the damn thing so that those of us who actually know how to pack without checking luggage may do so. Jerk.
  5. Disorganized asshats whose lack of organizational skills throw me under the bus of disorganization. Don't look at me like that. You know who you are, and you know it's true.
  6. My shoulder is pissing me off. It's been hurting for weeks, and nothing I do makes it feel any better. I suspect that age and abuse is catching up with me, and I will eventually have to go to an ortho guy to see what the hell is going on in there.
Have a nice weekend, Hot Chicks and Smart Men.

"I suggest you not underestimate the staggering drawing power of the Garden State, and show up two hours in advance."

Wednesday, November 2, 2011
I'll be departing this morning for the Garden State, but not to try to end all existence in order to relieve myself of the burden of living in Wisconsin. That's just not how I roll. Plus I don't live in Wisconsin. Although I wouldn't have minded meeting George Carlin.

Instead I'll be attending a session that will (hopefully) result in the closure of a deal I've been working on for over a year, and that represents a fairly significant chunk of my fiscal year 2012 quota. I'm reasonably satisfied with my design, and I have a fairly high degree of confidence. But you never know when the random chance of the universe will throw a stink bomb right in the middle of your plan, so I'm cautious.

On the plus side, I'll be able to use my awesome new raspberry bag for the first time. I'm just as excited about this as I am about closing the deal, which probably says something negative about my dedication to the sales process. I'm not sure how much I care, though, because really - how AWESOME is this bag?



Mental Housecleaning

Monday, October 31, 2011
I try to be honest with myself. It's not always easy, I'm not always successful, and sometimes I don't like what I find when I clean out my mind. But I do try. 

And here lately, I've had to do some mental housecleaning surrounding my perceptions of other people's motivations. For me, it's far too easy to assume that because an individual political conservative has loads of white privilege, is a person or a certain age, and has limited exposure to people of color that they oppose Barack Obama simply because he's black. It's usually far more complicated than that - after all, there are many, many reasons why someone would oppose the President's policies, none of which have anything to do with his color. I can disagree with these people's analysis without attributing nefarious motivations to them. To make the assumption that they're bigoted asshats is to engage in stereotyping - always a slippery turn of events, since even if the "general rule" is fair, the exceptions are usually legion.

So how do I apply the "general rule" to the group, without applying it to the individual? For example, I'm pretty convinced at this point that the Tea Party is a racist movement, and anti-American at its core. But that doesn't mean that a specific, individual member is a racist or anti-America. After all, I'm white, I enjoy tons of unearned privilege, I'm considered affluent by any reasonable measure, and only a small percentage of my family members and friends are people of color. By this measure, it might be reasonable to assume that I harbor bigotry in my heart. That assumption would be wrong, but I can see how someone who knows nothing about me might look at my life and see it that way. How would I feel about that judgement? Probably angry, and I'd start swinging the Shovel of Doom™ with abandon.


What makes this so tough is that there are cases where people really are motivated by bigotry, either about race or some other aspect of humanity, and their behavior should not be swept under the rug or excused for fear of giving offense by calling out their asshattery. Trying to determine which case represents a situation where people of good conscience can disagree about the political direction of our nation, and which case represents the rantings of bigoted asshats is the challenge. But I think I need to work harder at not assuming the worst because someone doesn't agree with me.

Free Shit Friday Winners...

Sunday, October 30, 2011
...of the Awesome Apple Butter of Awesomeness are Megan, with a random number of 15, and Carol Elaine, with a random number of 5.

Enjoy!

2011 Flower Pr0n - San Diego!

Saturday, October 29, 2011
Hm...figs. I need to make fig jam...

With Hot Bee on Flower Action!

Free Shit Friday - Awesome Apple Butter of Awesomeness

Friday, October 28, 2011
Today's Free Shit Friday giveaway is two jars of my Awesome Apple Butter of Awesomeness.*

This is always a particularly popular offering. Because it's so AWESOME, you see.

Da rules.


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*Disclaimer: This batch turned out a bit runnier than normal. I have no idea why, but you've been warned.

Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History - Ani Zonneveld

Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Ani Zonneveld is a Malaysian born singer and songwriter. She's a Muslim. She's co-founder for Muslims for Progressive Values (MPV). She leads prayers in her Mosque, a task normally reserved for men. And later this year, she plans on officiating at the Islamic wedding of two lesbians.

The MPV is one of the only Muslim organizations in the world that interprets the Q'uran in a way that  allows homosexuality within the context of Allah's law, and Ms. Zonneveld is working with other like-minded Muslims to spread the message. They also advocate the critical examination of the Q'uran in a more progressive light, and call out sections of the text that may lead to the radicalization of Muslims that may feel disenfranchised. She speaks out often about her thoughts and beliefs, regardless of what the majority of Imams believe about her faith and her interpretation.

Since Ms. Zonneveld lives in America, her actions and advocacy aren't as dangerous as they might be if she lived in a predominantly Muslim society. But it has to start somewhere - with a single person standing up for what they believe is right, and standing up for those who have been marginalized and can't speak for themselves. Thank you for standing up, Ms. Zonneveld.

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H/T to my Smart Man.

Self Determination and Dice Rolling

Monday, October 24, 2011
So the Republican candidates are once again frothing at the mouth, this time because the President has decided to entirely withdraw American troops from Iraq by December 31, 2011. Michele Bachmann is up in arms because she feels that America is being disrespected by the Iraqi people. Rick Santorum feels that we've "lost control" of Iraq. Herman Cain thinks it's going to "leave a vacuum." And all of them are (of course!) blaming the President for his "foreign policy failure."

Here's the thing. No responsible Commander in Chief is going to leave American troops in a foreign country without a Status of Forces Agreement. To do so would leave our men and women in uniform entirely vulnerable to the whims of whoever wanted to incarcerate or punish them as they saw fit. And our SOFA with Iraq expires on (surprise!) December 31, 2011. The Iraqi government has chosen not to enter into an acceptable agreement with the United States beyond that date, and by that legal act, has essentially told us to pack our shit and go home.

And they absolutely have the right to do so.

The bottom line is that Iraq is a sovereign nation, with the right of self determination in matters that pertain to their security and governance. If they choose to move forward without the help of the American military, then it's not really up to us to force the issue. Because doing so, you see, is called "Imperialism."

Which is not to say that the Administration should disengage. The region is still volatile, and it's in our interest to maintain relationships. But it's not in our interest to have a childish snit and demand that the Iraqi people reimburse us for the cost of our occupation (Bachmann's brilliant plan). They didn't ask us to come in and "liberate" them and poke the pooch so thoroughly on Day 2. As usual, the Republicans are allowing their hubris and exceptionalism to cloud the larger issue. Because that's worked out so WELL for the United States in the last ten years, don't you know.

The problem with liberating a people and allowing them to make their own decisions in a democratic fashion is that they may in fact choose to act against your interests in favor of their own. You rolls the dice, you takes your chances.

Free Shit Friday Winner...

Sunday, October 23, 2011
...of the Cranberry Walnut jam is Phiala, with a random number of 4*, and Thordr, with a random number of 21.

Philala, I have your address, but Thordr, I can't find yours from the last time you won, so please send it again.

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*Actually, the first two random numbers were 4 and 6, which were both Phiala, and I made an executive decision that the same reader couldn't win both items in the same contest. Sorry, Phiala.

2011 Flower Pr0n - San Diego Edition

Saturday, October 22, 2011