2011 Flower Pr0n - Hawai'i!

Saturday, December 31, 2011
Here's the last of 2011's Flower Pr0n. A good way to end the year, methinks.



Missives from the Edge

Thursday, December 29, 2011
So I've been getting a little compulsive about my exercise regimen in the last month or two. The reasons for this include managing the stress associated with The Project That Apparently Never Ends™, trying to ensure I continued to lose some weight during the dangerous month of December*, and a genuine desire to strengthen my body. The thing I don't get about this new lifestyle of mine is how VERY UNLIKE ME it is. Like POD PERSON unlike me. I seriously hate to exercise. It sucks, it sucks HARD, and I can't think of a single conditioning or strengthening activity that I actually enjoy. But I've been doing it anyway, and get itchy when I'm denied the opportunity to keep to my schedule. WHO AM I, AND WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH JANIECE?
__________


This is something I actually heard: "If I need more processing power, why do I need another server?" I swear I'm not making this up.
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I spent some time writing thank you notes yesterday. I like sending snail-mail, as I feel people appreciate the effort of a hand-written note more than an e:mail or phone call. I guess I'm old-fashioned that way. Now get off my lawn.
__________


I'm going to be in Kansas City next week for an overnight trip. You know what that means - KANSAS CITY BBQ TURKEY. And, oh yeah, I'll probably do some work, too. 
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I had some yucky dreams last night that included being shut up in a crack house that smelled strongly of cat urine. I have no idea what this means (if anything), but it was gross.
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The Incomparable Anne™ came over last night to cheer me up and we all went to dinner at our favorite Mexican eatery, Las Delicias. The Tacos de Carnitas were fabulous, but the company was better. Anne's a good egg.
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I added lunges to my routine this morning, and based on the way my legs feel, I will probably need a front end loader to get out of bed tomorrow. In an emergency the Smart Man can usually give me a shove to get me up, but he's got an early shift. So I may be screwed. Perhaps starting with a quantity of 60 on my first day was not wise.




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* I have. Seven pounds, in fact. OCD FTW!

Missing

Wednesday, December 28, 2011
MISSING: A smile on my face and a song in my heart.

The Project that Apparently Never Ends™ is now officially driving me crazy. Again. I can't discuss the particulars here, but suffice it to say that I had a feeling this thing was going to stalk me for the rest of the fiscal year like a giggling, obsessed sociopath. And I'm exceedingly, horrifyingly depressed to be right.


Once again, if you need me, I'll be in the corner with a spork in my eye.

Free Shit Friday Winner...

Monday, December 26, 2011
...of the snap together trebuchette is Dr. Phil (Physics), with a random number of 33. The better to demonstrate "how things work" to college freshmen. Enjoy!

Merry Christmas, Every One

Sunday, December 25, 2011

A Christmas Story

Saturday, December 24, 2011
So I was trying to sync my iPod yesterday afternoon, and I kept getting an error. I restored the device to default. Same error. I followed a recommendation on Apple's forums to allow Windows 7 to repair the iPod file system. It ran for 10 hours with no result. The old iPod is dead...which is probably related to the fact that I keep dropping it while at the gym.

Now, I use my iPod A LOT. It goes to the gym with me every day. I wear it while walking the Incomparable Boogie™. I listen while I cook, while I do chores, while I grocery shop. For me, not having an iPod is AN EMERGENCY. And if you've ever spent an hour on an arc trainer without anything to entertain you except Saturday morning television, you know what I'm saying is nothing but true.*

And here's the point of the story. The Smart Man not only loaded the file containing my latest audiobook on his iPod Touch so that I would have something to listen to while killing myself at the gym this morning, he went to Best Buy to get me a new iPod. On Christmas Eve. AND included a case that came with an arm strap so that the new device might not suffer its predecessor's fate.

Yeah. I'm totally keeping him.

_______________
*Except for the fact that I TOTALLY realize this is first world problem and I'm a whiny git. Yes, yes, that's not the point of the story. Move along.

2011 Flower Pr0n - Hawai'i!



Free Shit Friday - Trebuchette

Friday, December 23, 2011



Today's Free Shit Friday offering is a snap together trebuchette manufactured and offered by E&M Labs.

I obtained this awesome piece by sponsoring E&M's founders over on Kickstarter. I'm going to specify that all assembly is required, and abdicate responsibility if the winner takes their eye out during assembly or operation. And get off my lawn.

Da rules.

So Proud

Thursday, December 22, 2011
Brian J. Clark/The Virginian-Pilot/AP

You know, I'm always proud of my service in the U.S. Navy, and I'm always proud of my military alma mater. But, really, I've never been more proud than the moment I saw this photo and realized what it meant.

So proud.

Relax, Damnit

Wednesday, December 21, 2011
So I was speaking to my boss the other day, finishing up my annual performance review (apparently I "exceeded expectations" for fiscal year 2011. Go, me.). Now, my boss is a pretty devout Christian. He doesn't make a huge issue of it, doesn't discuss it publicly, but I've know him for seven years. I know who he is, and his religious belief doesn't matter to me. I judge him by the same yardstick that I use to judge everyone in my life - whether or not he's a decent human being (he is). He knows that I'm completely irreligious, and that doesn't matter to him, either. He judges me on whether or not I'm a good engineer, a good employee, a decent human being. We understand each other on this score, and it's all good.

So I was a bit surprised at the end of the call when my boss said, "I hope this doesn't offend you, but I wanted to wish you Merry Christmas."

I wasn't surprised that he would wish me a Merry Christmas - he's a Christian. I know he's a Christian. He knows I know he's a Christian. I would expect him to celebrate the season as a religious holiday, and enjoy it as such. Why would he apologize for being who he is?

Which brings me to the so-called "War on Christmas."

Is there anything stupider than getting offended when someone greets you with good intent within the context of their culture? I'm an Atheist. If a Christian wishes me "Merry Christmas," or a Jew wishes me "Happy Chanukah," or a pagan wishes me a "Joyous Solstice," I'm going to take those greetings in the spirit they were intended, and wish them a joyous season in return. I'm not going to embark on some screed surrounding how Jesus was actually born in the summer, and the early Christians "stole" the winter celebrations from the pagans, blah, blah, blah. Because while it's true, it's also totally irrelevant to the sentiment they're trying to impart, and doing so also makes me an ass. 

Don't get me wrong - I think it's reasonable to react negatively if government funds are used for religious displays or if there are discriminatory practices surrounding access to public spaces on the basis of religious belief. That whole pesky "First Amendment," you know. But there's something wrong when people of good intent are afraid to greet others for fear of "offending" them. I think we all just need to relax, damnit.

Taking a Break

Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Today is my last day of work for a while. I'm taking Wednesday through Friday off, and Monday is a holiday, so I'm getting SIX FULL DAYS OFF IN A ROW.

I'm not one of those people who will check e:mail or voicemail while I'm on vacation. When I'm on vacation, I'm incommunicado, off the grid, not reachable. Because if I wanted to work, then I wouldn't be on vacation, you see.

I don't really have any plans, other than to clear my mind and try to get some perspective. It's been a long six weeks trying to close The Project That Apparently Never Ends™, and I need to decompress for a bit, and settle into a schedule that includes more balance and less high blood pressure. That way I can start the New Year with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. Or something.

Shock and Awe

Monday, December 19, 2011
Prepare to be the victim of Shock and Awe.

The Deal that Apparently Never Ends™ has CLOSED. That means a number of things:
  • I will now be referring to it as "The Project that Apparently Never Ends™." Trust me on this one - it's a phased project, and the final deployment is a moving target (one of the reasons it took so long to close). There's also the fact that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, and the current, related project for this customer is taking twice as long as predicted to end. That whole moving target thing. 
  • I can now spend some of my professional time on other projects and opportunities. I'm glad of this, as there's some exciting stuff on my professional horizon, and my teammates have been doing the heavy lifting since I've been MIA. It'll be nice to work on more than one thing again.
  • I won't be traveling as much, as the Project that Apparently Never Ends™ has been turned over to our Professional Services organization, and another engineer is now the technical lead. I'll still be peripherally involved, of course, but I've passed the baton.
  • I am going to be getting a fairly substantial commission check when it actually books, probably payable in my end of January check. Of course, if it hadn't closed we'd be eating Top Ramen for the rest of the year, so there's that. It's the risk and reward of sales. 
So money = good. Especially since my Hot Daughter announced last week that she has found a study abroad program through her University that perfectly suits her educational and career goals in both the near and long term. It's scheduled for May, and the destination is China. I strongly believe in the value of living and studying abroad, and I really want my Hot Daughter to have this opportunity. So you can imagine my relief when this thing closed in time for me to be able to use some of the money to help make that happen.

While I intend to be practical with most of the money, I have also decided to buy myself this fabulous new Tag Heuer Formula 1 ceramic watch with the diamond bezel. I promised myself that if I made it through this process without killing someone, then I'd reward myself with something nice. Because I want to, and because this sale has been more than little painful.


It also comes in black, but I'm pretty sure the white suits me more.

So in the short term - Yay, me.

Free Shit Friday Winner...

Sunday, December 18, 2011
...of the black Dansko Ryder booties is Anne, with a random number of 3. Enjoy!

2011 Flower Pr0n - Hawai'i!

Saturday, December 17, 2011


Free Shit Friday - Dansko Ryders

Friday, December 16, 2011



This week's Free Shit Friday giveaway is a pair of gently used Dansko Ryder booties in black, size 39.

This is another case where Janiece has learned that high heeled Danskos = size 38, low heeled Danskos = size 39. I've since replaced these with a size 38.

Da rules.

Let's Talk About Respect

Wednesday, December 14, 2011
I work in a male-dominated field, and I have my entire adult life. The first eleven years were in the tender auspices of the U.S. Navy. The next six were in the U.S. Navy Reserves and the telecommunications industry. And the last eleven have been in the telecommunications industry alone.

And during that time, I have come to realize that you can always, always, always tell who's a sexist putz and who isn't.

The sexist putz is the one who looks at a perfectly competent woman, capable and educated, one who is absolutely qualified for the work she does on every level, and sees one of two things: a child, or a servant. And they act accordingly.

Theses putzes assume that because I don't have a penis, that means I never really achieve the seriousness or gravitas necessary to compete or perform in an adult world. I'm not really capable of assuming a leadership position in my professional life because the natural order of things puts me in a subservient position. As a result, they're condescending. They're dismissive. They're assume that if a mistake is made, obviously it's my fault - clearly a man wouldn't make such a mistake when a woman is around to take the blame, evidence be damned. They don't feel they have any obligation to keep me informed about projects of which I'm a part. They don't feel compelled to actually read or act on my work product. And they take every opportunity to devalue my contribution to the team, while simultaneously expecting me to act as their beck-and-call girl without complaint.

When people show you who they are, believe them.

You want to know if a man is a sexist putz? Look at how he treats the women in his professional life. If he behaves with respect, valuing their contribution, their skills, their work commensurate to their ability, then he's probably someone who believes in a merit based work place, regardless of gender. But if he assumes that his wants and desires should be placed above everyone else's? Sexist putz. And if he acts confused, put upon, and hurt when his unacceptable behavior is called out? Clueless sexist putz.

The sexist putz is not entitled to succeed on the basis of my work. He's not entitled to call upon my loyalty to go "above and beyond." He's not entitled to expect me to take responsibility for his mistakes. He's not entitled to treat me with disrespect based upon my genitals. He's not entitled to anything but my animus, because he's a sexist putz.

And once I make that determination? I will begin to act accordingly, as well.

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

Tuesday, December 13, 2011
So I've been spending a bit more time at the gym lately. Part of it is a stress management strategy brought on by the Deal that Apparently Never Ends™, and part of it is my Hot Cousin's fault. She recently competed in her first figure competition, and her discipline and results motivated me to be a bit more disciplined in my own right when it came to my body.


As part of my new program, I recently purchased a heart rate monitor. I suspected that the automatic calorie counters on most exercise machines were a bit generous with their values, and I read that chest strap heart monitors provided a much more accurate measure.


ZOMGWTFBBQ, the calorie counters on elliptical machines are just LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE. The counts were off by almost 100%! Since I try to keep my calories consumed the same regardless of my gym routine, it's not as big an issue for me, but I can see how such metrics might lead someone astray if they tend to eat the calories they burn off during exercise. 


Not cool. Not cool at all.



The Tots - They Have Toys

Monday, December 12, 2011
Guess what? The Deal that Apparently Never Ends™ still isn't closed. I know - it's really a shocking turn of events. Which means I'm leaving this morning for points East and won't return until Friday. 

But I'll be leaving with this picture in my mind:



This is the haul we took over to our local Toys for Tots collection point on Saturday. We donate every year, but this year we used a different strategy. The Smart Man, my Hot Daughter and I bought toys all year long, and stored them in the basement. So when the holiday season was upon us, we were ready with our contribution. We might have gotten a bit carried away, and I couldn't care less. We dropped these off with a smile on our faces and a song in our hearts, proving once again that helping others is a splendid way to drive away the holiday blues. 


Semper Fi, Merry Christmas, and thank you to the United States Marine Corps Reserve, who run this fabulous program.
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NOTE TO MY DENVER BASED READERS: Toys for Tots here in Colorado is short 70,000 toys this year based on the number of requests they've gotten from families that need assistance. Help if you can, Hot Chicks and Smart Men - no kids should be without a gift on Christmas.

2011 Flower Pr0n - Hawai'i!

Sunday, December 11, 2011


A Week of Gratitude, Day Seven - Family of Choice

Saturday, December 10, 2011
Family matters. Family matters a lot. They're the ones that pull you up when you've fallen, are honest with you when you need a kick in the pants and remain silent when you don't, and share in your triumphs and tragedies with equal passion.

But what I've come to realize is that those relationships are always, always a matter of choice.

I'm lucky to have a good relationship with my Hot Mom, who makes Perfect Pumpkin Pie, reads Rolling Stone, and is the kind of person who made a retirement career of supporting the arts and education in her community.

I have two great kids, who are smart, work hard, usually do the right thing, and are working to become contributing members of society. Bonus gratitude: I genuinely like them as well as being tremendously proud of them. 

I have fabulous Aunts and Uncles whose kindness and love I have come to value more and more as I've gotten older.

I have wonderful cousins who were unsurprisingly raised by my fabulous Aunts and Uncles to be kind, interesting people.

The Smart Man's family is also my family now. They're decent, hardworking people, who have broadened my own worldview by including me in their lives. Their love helps make me whole.

I have friends in my life who I consider family, and consider me the same way. The Mechanicky Gal really is my Sista-from-another-Mista, and I can't think of a single thing she could ask for that I wouldn't give willingly and without a second thought.

And yet, there are members of my birth family, both near and extended, with whom I have no contact, and that's exactly the way I want it. Being a member of a family has obligations and duties, both of which should be taken on voluntarily. If someone fails to meet a minimum standard of human decency, I don't feel an obligation to include them in my family, and in fact, their exclusion makes my family stronger.

I am a member of a strong, loving family. I'm committed to these people because I want to be, because I love them, because they love me. I'm grateful for them all, each and every one.

A Week of Gratitude, Day Six - Being a Cool Auntie

Friday, December 9, 2011
Earlier this year, my Smart BIL and his Hot Wife had their first child, my Awesome, Awesome Niece. She had a bit of rough start, as she was very premature and weighed less than two pounds when she was born. But she rallied like the tough little trooper she is*, and is now thriving under the care of her stunningly conscientious parents.

I can't begin to tell you how much this baby girl means to me. I've never gotten a chance to be a cool Auntie, and her birth has given me a chance to fill a role I thought I'd missed. The Smart Man, my Hot Daughter and I are all goofy with love for this small person, and imagine ourselves taking her on vacations, introducing her to the things we love, and otherwise spoiling her rotten before shipping her back to her parents.

Being a Cool Auntie is very different than being a parent, especially when my Awesome, Awesome Niece already has Awesome parents of her own. She doesn't need the Smart Man or I to act all disciplinarian or encourage her to go to college. She doesn't need us to lecture her on the dangers of illicit drug use or riding in a car without a seat belt. She has her Awesome parents for that. She needs us to always have gum and join her on the roller coaster. 

A role I'm grateful to fill.

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*Seriously, this kid is going to be a Navy SEAL when she grows up. She's the strongest preemie I've ever seen, and when we went to visit earlier this year, she was bossing everyone around. And we turned two, thank you very much.

A Week of Gratitude, Day Five - My Smart Man

Thursday, December 8, 2011
When I was a younger woman, I had really poor taste in men. The reasons for this are legion, and include such perennial favorites as low self-esteem, self-destructive tendencies, and poor impulse control.

But as I continued on my journey toward being the person I wanted to be, I realized that I deserved more. I deserved a relationship that didn't make me feel bad about myself. I deserved a relationship where my partner saw me for who I was, and forgave me my faults while loving and admiring my virtues. I deserved someone who I loved and admired in return, who inspired me to be a better person without being condescending or contemptuous.

And I found him.

The Smart Man is my friend. When I'm wrong, he doesn't let me off the hook, but he's still on my side. He knows that when you go to the theater or a five star restaurant, you dress appropriately. When others hurt me, he's full of righteous indignation on my behalf. He knows that clip on ties are anathema for anyone over the age of seven. He sees me for who I am, and loves me because, not in spite of, that. He knows that black socks with tennis shoes are really a bad idea. He's generous with my family, and appreciates that I'm generous with his. He reads voraciously, and shares his passions with others. He makes me laugh, and even though he says I'm not funny, he's wrong.

These daily things are what keeps us whole, and what has stood us in good stead for the last thirteen years.

It took a long time for me to craft the life I wanted, and to craft myself into the person I wanted to be. And it took a long time for me to find someone to share my life. But I'm profoundly grateful that I did, and that it turned out to be him.

A Week of Gratitude, Day Four - Continued Employment

Wednesday, December 7, 2011
I've had kind of a crappy month on a professional level. I've been traveling weekly, working nights and weekends, and I had to cancel my scheduled vacation. I don't care much for this turn of events - I've done my bit for god and country, and people usually have to work pretty hard to convince me that giving up my weekends, evenings and holidays is actually the appropriate thing to do. When you add in the fact that I'm currently working with people who treat me like I'm their beck-and-call-girl and don't bother to actually read the deliverables I provide*, I find I've been more than a bit cranky lately. Okay, let's be honest. I've been bitchy.

And yet, my gig has a lot to recommend it, and it behooves me to remember that.
  • I get to work from home on a full time basis. Temperament-wise, I'm well suited to work from home. I have the necessary discipline to ensure all my tasks are completed on time, and in fact the company ends up getting more than their pound of flesh out of me. I work when I'm sick, when I'm exhausted, when I would normally be commuting. In return, I have the flexibility to be available when service people need to come to the Big Yellow House, or I need to take Boogie the Giant Schnauzer to one of his many, many veterinary appointments. 
  • By any reasonable measure, I'm very well-paid. This aspect of my employment allows me to save a significant portion of my salary for retirement, as well as pay for the activities and luxuries my family and I enjoy. I've been a member of the working poor, and let me tell you - money may not buy happiness, but it sure as hell gives you the freedom to pursue it.
  • I have extremely generous benefits. I celebrated my 15 year anniversary with my company in October, which means I now get 27 days of paid vacation each year. I get unlimited sick time. My total monthly out of pocket expense for health insurance, vision insurance, dental insurance, life insurance, and long term disability insurance for me, the Smart Man and my Hot Daughter is $468.74. My company matches a small percentage of my 401K contribution.
  • I have a decent boss. He lets me rant as I need to without holding it against me. He's honest with me in his assessment of my professional performance, identifying where I'm strong and where I need to work harder, without making it personal. He accepts feedback on his own performance gracefully and even attempts to change his behavior if a change is warranted. We don't agree on everything, of course, but he's fundamentally a decent man, and that matters. 
  • When you strip away the politics and boot-licking and get down the actual ENGINEERING, I love my job. There is nothing more satisfying to me than putting together a technical solution that meets my customer's needs at a price they can afford. And the more complicated the engineering, the more interesting it becomes, and the prouder I am of the outcome. Awesome.
When I look at the negatives and compare them to the positives of my professional life, I have a great deal to be grateful for. Professionally, I have found that pearl of great price. 

______________
*I'm never going to be the kind of person who allows others to treat me with disrespect in the long term, so I suspect there's going to be a "come to Janiece" meeting in someone's future. Won't that be fun.

A Week of Gratitude, Day Three - The UCF

Tuesday, December 6, 2011
UCF Powers - Activate!
I've been blogging since 2007. Since that time, I've been privileged to be included a Blog Circle flippantly named The Union of Collaborating Founders. The group started out very informally as a silly, surreal discussion thread on a now-defunct Bulletin Board, and then we essentially followed each other home, and the UCF was born.

In the years since it's inception, we've supported each other through the deaths of spouses, parents, and extended family members. We've supported a member whose house burned to the ground. We've simply been there for each other during our own illnesses and the illnesses of those close to us. We've gotten to know each other's families, friends, and partners. We've offered each other our skills, our help, and our love. And just one month ago, we cried together due to the sudden death of Wendy, one of our members. 

The growth of this community - and make no mistake, that's what it is - was completely organic. Over the years, members have drifted away, and new ones have been invited to join, just like any community. These men and women are my friends. Not my "on-line" friends. My friends. Each and every one of them represents a unique addition to my life, and I care deeply for their triumphs, their tragedies, and their happiness. And they care deeply for mine.

I have no idea how I got so lucky to be included with such an amazing, diverse, and interesting group. But I'm happy to be included, and grateful each and every day for this odd, diverse and spread out community. Thank you all, for being my friends.

A Week of Gratitude, Day Two - My Working, Healthy Body

Monday, December 5, 2011
Like a lot of women in this country, I've never been satisfied with my body. Even when I was young and thin, I thought I was fat and unattractive, and experienced the kind of self-loathing that only a young woman with low self-esteem can muster.*

But now, in my middle age, I have come to realize this simple truth: My body works. And for the most part, it's healthy.

I am capable of exercising my body, and my body has the strength and flexibility to do the work. I can eat the foods I enjoy, and my body has the capability to digest them into the components it needs to thrive. I have been fortunate never to have been stricken by catastrophic illness, and my immune system is strong.

Am I the same size I was at 20? No. Do I need to continue to do the work necessary to maintain my body in a healthy way, including dropping some body fat? You bet. But I have that choice. My body is capable. And with so many others who struggle without the option, I'm grateful for it.

______________
*What is up with that behavior? I swear, when I look at photos of myself when I was twenty, I think "If I looked like that now I WOULD WEAR A BIKINI EVERY DAY, EVEN IN WINTER." But not then.

A Week of Gratitude, Day One - Boogie the Giant Schnauzer

Sunday, December 4, 2011
I like snow! And grapes! And walkies!

There are many reasons why Boogie might be considered a pain the ass. He's a delicate flower, whose constant injuries, illnesses and tumors have resulted in a significant contribution to our vet's retirement fund. He requires monthly grooming, to the tune of $80.00 a month (including tip). He weighs over 100 pounds, which means finding room for him is sometimes problematic. He's a terrible traveler, so whoever has to drive with him must have either the patience of Job or a prescription for Xanax. And after drinking, he constantly wipes his wet, cold beard on whomever is handy.

But he's our Boogie. He's one of the sweetest dogs I've ever known. His simple joy in daily activities like morning walkies, snow, and a chance to have a grape often reminds me to get some perspective and take pleasure in my own daily life. His button eyes are still bright and curious, and if his advanced age means he no longer leaps at every opportunity to hop around and play, he still takes his guard-dog duties as seriously as ever, ensuring the safety of his pack.

Boogie is our good, good boy, and his presence in my life the last ten years has enhanced every aspect of my existence. I'm very grateful for my Boogie, for however much longer he remains my companion.

Free Shit Friday Winner...

...of The Bridgeroom is Womanji, with a random number of 1. Enjoy!

2011 Flower Pr0n - Hawai'i!

Saturday, December 3, 2011
Remember how way back in June I said that I took some awesome photos of tropical flowers while we were on our fabulous Hawai'ian cruise, but I was saving them for when the weather here in Colorado turned into ass?

We're on our second snow storm in three days, with another cold front slated to come in sometime tomorrow. I think that qualifies as "ass," and it's time to break out the reminders of the tropics.



.

Free Shit Friday - The Bridegroom

Friday, December 2, 2011
Today's Free Shit Friday offering is a First Edition hardback copy of The Bridegroom by Ha Jin.

From the remarkable Ha Jin, winner of the National Book Award for his celebrated novel Waiting, a collection of comical and deeply moving tales of contemporary China that are as warm and human as they are surprising, disturbing, and delightful.

In the title story, the head of security at a factory is shocked, first when the hansomest worker on the floor proposes marriage to his homely adopted daughter, and again when his new son-in-law is arrested for the "crime" of homosexuality. In "After Cowboy Chicken Came to Town," the workers at an American-style fast food franchise receive a hilarious crash course in marketing, deep frying, and that frustrating capitalist dictum, "the customer is always right."Ha Jin has triumphed again with his unforgettable storytelling in The Bridegroom.
Disclaimer: I haven't read this volume, as short stories are not my forte.

Da rules

Notes from the Road

Thursday, December 1, 2011
The Deal that Apparently Never Ends™ still isn't closed. I know - I'm shocked, too. Not. I was really hoping not to work this weekend, but it's not looking good for the home team.
_____________ 

It behooves me to find out if a hotel is in a bad part of town before I actually get to it. That way, I can avoid being accosted by homeless people looking for cigarettes. Trying to be fiscally responsible on my company's behalf is all well and good, but really - nobody seems to care but me, so next time I'm staying at the Hyatt, home of the $18.00 breakfast buffet.
_____________

When I'm in a high stress period, my insomnia tends to creep back, and I sleep poorly in hotels under the best of circumstances. This means I wake up at 3:00 or 4:00 a.m., unable to get back to sleep, and my current strategy is to just get up and go to the hotel gym. So by the time this deal closes I'll either be in the best shape of my life or ready to stroke out. Obviously, I'm hoping for the former, but I'm not ruling out the latter.
_____________

Sometimes, complaining loudly and often results in people taking your concerns seriously. Sometimes it doesn't. But either way, if you do it in writing, your ass is covered when the shit inevitably hits the fan.
_____________

While in a cafe yesterday in the Detroit airport, I rediscovered the wonder that is Tabbouleh. I'll be making some tonight for my lunches, because I'm evidently turning into a hippie. A Lebanese hippie.
_____________

Delta is fast turning into my airline of choice when I must go to points East in support of the Deal that Apparently Never Ends™. The flights I take are consistently on time, I don't have to check my tiny suitcase, and Delta has also installed these little power stations in their gate areas. Best. Idea. Evah.