2012 Flower Pr0n - Hawai'i!

Saturday, January 28, 2012


Boogie Blogging Friday - Blankie Edition

Friday, January 27, 2012
Blankie! I have a BLANKIE!

On Being Charitable

Thursday, January 26, 2012
So I was having a conversation over on Facebook yesterday with my good friend NeuronDoc on the topic of that leprous toad Joe Paterno, and she made a rather telling comment related to people's desire to be charitable:
"Donating money to charities is not a good deed. Oh, fine, donating money to worthwhile causes is laudable, but I don't consider it a good deed. Running a soup kitchen is a good deed." 
NeuronDoc is, of course, absolutely correct, and her observation made me hang my head in shame.

I support a large number of charities. I love, love, love Kiva. I support DonorsChoose every year. I support my various friends and family members when they participate in charitable endeavors such as "Walking for a Cure." I try to be generous with my disposable income. But I'm woefully short on good deeds. And this does not move me forward in my desire to be a mensch

The fact that I donate a portion of my disposable income is not a good deed. It's disposable, and so by definition, I won't really miss it. It doesn't really cost me anything in terms of sacrifice, and while the outcomes of my donations are positive, it doesn't really say much about me personally. My disposable income is a renewable resource.


A true mensch is someone who donates and sacrifices things that are not renewable. Things like time. To use NeuronDoc's example, someone who spends hours each week running a soup kitchen for the least among us has donated something that they'll never, ever get back, or get more of. My piddly donations to the various charities I like does not compare, and I would do well to kill my internal self-congratulatory smugness at my "generosity." I'm not generous in the way I'd like to be, although my donations might be labeled "laudable."

NeuronDoc reminded me of an important truth. Helping others should not be the antiseptic act of simply writing a check. It should be a much more personal affair. A fact I shall try to keep at the top of my mind moving forward.

Behold, My WorldCon 70 Boots

Wednesday, January 25, 2012
You may commence your envy.

In which my engineering brain takes me 'round the bend

Tuesday, January 24, 2012
So I was at the gym this morning, and as I was starting my power walk I noticed my heart rate monitor was having some trouble. The receiver, which I wear on my wrist, was not getting a signal from the transmitter, which I wear around my chest. I'm sure the issue is simply a matter of replacing the battery in the transmitter, but it would be FAR TOO SIMPLE for me to leave it at that. So as I'm tooling around the indoor track, I had this internal monologue:
Me: Well, that's a bummer. I'll have to see if I can find time to pick up a new battery.
Engineering Brain (EB): But what about TODAY? You won't have any measurements for TODAY.
Me: I wonder what size it takes?
EB: Why are we still walking? There's no point in continuing if we can't MEASURE.
Me: What? 
EB: We must MEASURE. Everything must be MEASURED.
Me: What the fuck are you talking about? 
EB: If you don't MEASURE it, it doesn't COUNT.
Me: Of course it counts. You see me walking.
EB: But there's no MEASUREMENT.
Me:  I can use the measurement from the last time I power-walked for 30 minutes until I can get a new battery. No biggie.
EB: NO BIGGIE? You plan on replicating data and it's NO BIGGIE?
Me: I think you're getting a bit...obsessive...about all this. Now that I have baseline data for my activities, maybe I should just use those data points.
EB: It's like I don't even know you anymore.
Me: I'm just kidding. Our new FitBit will arrive tomorrow. Then you'll have whole new worlds of obsessive measurement to keep you busy.
EB: FitBit! Yay!
Broken. I think my brain is broken...

Other People Are Not Idiots

Monday, January 23, 2012
So I was reading an entry in a blog I really like, and the author indicated that he and his wife were trying to adopt a new attitude about other people. He called the theory "Other People Are Not Idiots," and it basically posits that "Other people are not idiots. They have reasons for doing what they do and standing by the things they stand by."

This gave me pause.

I have a tendency towards intellectual elitism. It's not becoming, I know, and I continuously struggle with it. But the fact of the matter is that I often fail in my efforts to place a higher value on human attributes that are under the control of the individual. I often assume that other people are idiots, and so become a purveyor of snobbish and cynical arrogance.

My failure to correct this aspect of my life benefits no one, least of all me. I don't want to become a bitter old woman, constantly angry, constantly holding others in contempt because they fail to see - and value - the world in the same way that I do. Such an attitude implies a stunning failure of empathy on my part, not to mention being inherently unkind.

So I've decided to make a concerted effort to be more mindful and more empathic towards the viewpoints and beliefs of others. There's a reason they disagree with me. There's a reason they may interpret specific events differently than me. There's a reason they may choose not to embrace new ideas or change their minds about old ones.

The challenge, of course, is discovering those reasons, and trying to see the world from their point of view in light of those reasons. Often people (including me) can't articulate the reasons for a specific belief, and become defensive if asked to defend their position. So I must learn to tread lightly, instead of approaching such matters like a bull in a china shop, as is my custom.

Repeat after me: Other people are not idiots. They have reasons for doing what they do and standing by the things they stand by. It's not fair to label someone an idiot without having a full understanding of their thought process and reasons for the conclusion. If I don't agree, it's my responsibility to bridge that gap.

It's only fair.

2012 Flower Pr0n - Hawai'i!

Sunday, January 22, 2012


The Joy of Diversity...and Hope

Saturday, January 21, 2012
As I've mentioned before, the community in which I live is not very diverse. The property values are high, the schools are excellent, and there's not much in the way of affordable housing. These things tend to conspire to make Parker a haven for conservative, middle class Whitey McWhiterson families. This has always bothered me about my community, as such homogeneous demographics mean our priorities as a community tend to be very narrow and structured. When the Smart Twins were participating in intramural sports, the teams and the spectators were a sea of white faces. White, white and more white. When my son played baseball one season, I don't recall a single child of color who played in his league. Same deal at the pool when my daughter took swimming lessons. We moved here because of the quality of the schools, but one of the requirements for our next home - our retirement home - was that the community needed to be more diverse.


But a funny thing happened on the way to the Parker Field House.

Saturdays are intramural sports day here in Parker. Depending on the season, the Field House (where I go to exercise) hosts indoor soccer, basketball, in-line hockey, lacrosse - pretty much whatever they can organize and support, including clinics. I enjoy watching the kids play as I lift, walk and use the arc trainer - especially the littlest kids (so cute). But I've noticed a change in the demographics in both the kids and spectators since last I spent time in those circles.

Some of the children - and their supporters - are people of color. And so are some of their coaches.

And this makes me very, very happy. Living in a diverse community makes me happy. Watching my community expand their perception of what constitutes the "Family of Man" makes me happy.

While realizing that this is spectacularly simplified view, I think one of the reasons the Tea Party and other beneficiaries of unearned privilege have so much trouble with our first black President is because they've simply never been exposed to cultures outside of their Whitey McWhiterson norm. If the only people you've ever been exposed to are "just like you," then expanding your view to include "outsiders" requires a leap of imagination and empathy that many people simply don't have. So they demonize and degrade, and fail to realize that you can disagree with someone's politics and policies without assuming their differences makes them worthy of hate.


I hope that the slow inclusion of people of color in my primarily white community will help to alleviate that attitude. People of color who may or may not believe in your god aren't "outsiders." They're Americans. Just like us.




And Then There were Four

Thursday, January 19, 2012
Horsemen, that is. 

While I'm supremely unsurprised that Jon Huntsman has dropped out, I'm still disappointed that the Republicans couldn't field more than one candidate that didn't make me throw up in my mouth.

I do have to say that I'm breathing a huge sigh of relief that both Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry are gone. Leaving aside for a moment that either one of them drops the collective IQ of the Republican Party by several orders of magnitude every time they open their mouths, it seems that both also have a serious issue with the First Amendment. Speaking as a despised religious minority, I'm simply delighted that these two freeze-dried whackaloons will not get the chance to direct the executive branch to discriminate against me on a national level. I have no issue with people of faith who wish to serve in public office, but I do have a problem with them implying that their faith should be my faith, and take action on that belief in their public lives.

So now the Republicans get to choose between Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul. Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney. As noted, all of these people make me throw up in my mouth. Newt is just evil. Ron's philosophy is a bottomless abyss of immorality. Rick's bigotry makes me want to hit him in the hypocritical face with a non-hypothetical shovel.

Which leaves us with Mitt, candidate in perpetuity.

Being a liberal, I think it's safe to say that I don't agree with Mitt's political positions, especially as they drift farther and farther to the right in his effort to suck up to the Tea Party and other undesirables. But I don't really have anything personal against him, unlike the rest of the field. I think the best way to describe my feelings toward him is...meh. Now THERE's a ringing endorsement.

Interesting times, my friends.

2012 Flower Pr0n - Hawai'i!

Saturday, January 14, 2012


RFI = Ready for Ignition

Thursday, January 12, 2012
And the thing that will be igniting is my peace of mind.

Yesterday I received an RFI from one of my customers. For those of you lucky enough not to be "in the know," RFI means "Request for Information." It's basically a list of esoteric questions about a specific solution type that a customer wants to learn about. They're supposed to be issued so an organization can make an informed decision about which vendors will be invited to submit a proposal.

I'm sure this process started out as having some value for the customers who issued them. But that's really no longer the case, and it seems to me that their primary purpose is to drive vendors clinically insane in an effort to weed out the lightweights.

But they're considered a necessary evil in my professional world, which means I'm going to be heads-down for the next two weeks trying to get this under control.

Which means you won't get to hear about my tentative new philosophy "other people aren't idiots" until I have time to actually, you know, write it.

See you when I come up for air...

The Loaded Question

Tuesday, January 10, 2012
So I was perusing Facebook this morning, and saw one of those "question" things that periodically appear in my feed like an annoying distant relative who keeps showing up for Sunday dinner:



Sigh.

The thing that depresses me about this isn't that some people think Barack Obama is not doing a good job as our president - people of good conscience can disagree about the best course of action for our country.* No, the thing that distresses me about this is the utter ignorance of history demonstrated by the responses above. Barack Obama is a worse president that Jimmy Carter? Who was a worse president than James Buchanan? Really?

Leaving aside for the moment that that the President's first term is not yet over (and thus such a comparison is patently unfair), who can reasonably compare the president who basically failed to prevent the Civil War and the president who reformed our health care system and find the latter wanting? Who can reasonably compare the president whose policies and execution were so abysmal even the Democrats didn't want him to run for a second term with the president who passed legislation that protects consumers from predatory lending practices and think the former is the better choice?

I'm still making an effort to believe those people who vociferously oppose our president are not prima facie racists without demonstrable supporting evidence. I'm really, really trying. So I'll choose to believe that those individuals who believe Barack Obama is a worse president than James Buchanan are simply ignorant. Horrifyingly, shockingly, appallingly ignorant.

Of course, expressing such a belief does tempt me to ask a question of the "Have you stopped beating your wife" variety regarding the opinion-holder. But that's better than simply assuming they're racist asshats.

Right?

Hello?

::tap, tap::

Is this thing on?

______________
*Like my on-line acquaintances Seth and Elena, I'm trying a new approach called "other people are not idiots," i.e., the fact that you disagree with me, even vociferously, does not make you a dumbass. More on that tomorrow.

Chicon 7 Cosplay

Monday, January 9, 2012
This year the Smart Man and I have decided to attend the 2012 World Science Fiction Convention in Chicago, IL, called "Chicon 7." This will be our second time attending a WorldCon, as we also attended the Denvention event here in Colorado in 2008.

We'll be attending with other members of the UCF and their assorted partners, spouses, etc., and so (naturally) the subject of costumes came up.

I've decided to bring two costumes - one for Zoe from Firefly, and another in the steam-punk style. So now I'm prowling for costume options.

One of my challenges is the issue of SIGHT. I wear glasses with progressive lenses, and believe me, they are not optional. But my rockin' new Anne Kleins are not appropriate for what I have in mind. Which got me to thinking - why not buy a set of glasses specifically for this event? A pair of rose-colored glasses. In my typical fashion, I'm now in love with this idea, and can't decide what to buy.

This was my first idea. Round sort of screams "steam punk" to me without resorting to the stereotypical goggles.

Then I saw these, which have a sort of a "clockwork" look to them, which definitely relates to steam punk. These make me think I should be living in Seattle.*

Then I saw these, and decided they were even more clockwork-y.

You must imagine them with rose-tinted lenses in each case. I am torn - TORN - about which to buy. Give me your opinion, Hot Chicks and Smart Men.

___________
*If you don't get that reference, you're missing out on some really cool books.

2012 Flower Pr0n - Hawai'i!

Saturday, January 7, 2012


Boogie Blogging Friday - The Most Spoiled Dog in the World Edition

Friday, January 6, 2012
It was very cold last week. COLD. And I'm old. Shut up.

Whackadoodles R Us

Thursday, January 5, 2012
Seems like we're being overcome by whackadoodles lately. Consider:
  • Rick Perry has decided to stay in the race for the Republican nomination for President in spite of his poor showing in the Iowa caucus. This makes me happy, because I would love, love, love to see this buffoon try to debate Barack Obama on any subject on the PLANET. Who intentionally signs up for this kind of intellectual humiliation? A victim of Dunning-Kruger, that's who. Or a whackadoodle, your choice.
  • Hugo Chavez thinks the United States is giving Latin American leaders cancer. Because that's how we do here in the U.S. of A. - we give foreign heads of state THE CANCER when they don't do our bidding. Seriously? If the government had the technology to give people cancer when they disagreed with us, do you really think John Boehner would still be walking around? Dude's still smoking and hitting the tanning bed, cancer would be TOTALLY PLAUSIBLE.
  • Iowa Republicans decided that Rick Santorum was their second choice for their 2012 Presidential nominee. I really have to wonder if these caucus goers are just some sick sons of bitches. "Haha! Let's stand up for Santorum! Because what could be funnier than having the name of our choice for our future president show up on Google as 'The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex'? Haha!" I don't think that word means what you think it means.
Also: I wonder if Barack Obama is secretly making campaign contributions to Ron Paul?

This Stage of Life

Monday, January 2, 2012
I love this stage of life: New Years house party and I can wear sweatpants if I want. And all I get are envious looks!
This was posted on Facebook by my sista-from-another-mista The Mechanicky Gal the day before yesterday, and it served to remind me of something I need to work harder at remembering: This is the best time of my life. This - right now, my middle age.

My life is no longer an unlimited plethora of professional possibilities. It's exceedingly unlikely that I'll ever go to law school, compete in the Olympics, or become an astronaut. But I've spent a significant number of years in service to my country and fellow citizens. I've grown into a profession where I contribute to the society in which I live (however indirectly). I continue to learn and grow both academically and professionally.

I'm no longer the hot young hottie I once was. Time marches on, and the fact that it's doing so across my skin is simply a fact of life. But I'm in the best physical shape of my life. I'm approaching my eleventh anniversary of being a non-smoker. I'm beginning to accept with grace the reality of what it means for my body to grow older. And my silver locks rock the house.

In the last twenty years, I've chosen to significantly prune my family tree - an operation that has resulted in a great deal of pain and distress for me. But I'm blessed by the family that remains, and doubly blessed by my "family of choice," those people who I choose to love like family, and love me the same way.

But perhaps the best part of this stage of life is that if, like The Mechanicky Gal, I want to wear sweatpants to my house party, I can. And the people who share my life will in fact be envious rather than judgey. Which doesn't mean, of course, that I'm not filled with glee at the thought of wearing a supremely well-fitting, age-appropriate outfit that hearkens back to my Hottie McHotterson days. Because I am. But the choice is mine, and not predicated on what others might think. That level of self-confidence, of knowing who I am and choosing my course of action based on that self-knowledge instead of the expectations of others - that is what's making this the best stage of life.

Middle age: The reward for all the mistakes we make when we're young and stupid. I'll take it.

This I Believe - 2012

Sunday, January 1, 2012
I believe in accountability.

I believe in accountability because it is an engine for change in my life.

When I hold myself accountable, I'm forced to stand up and publicly admit my mistakes, and do what needs to be done to make it right.

When I hold myself accountable, I'm not able to rationalize my bad decisions. I must take responsibility for them, and make better choices in the future.

When I hold myself accountable, I'm forced to admit that when I choose an action, I choose the consequence of that action. This gives me the strength to make the right choice instead of the easy one.

When I hold myself accountable, I can see my relationships and my life more objectively. This allows me to more accurately determine where I could have worked harder and done better, and where the right thing to do is to cut my losses and move on. 

The longer I hold myself accountable, the stronger my moral courage becomes, as doing the right thing becomes a habit rather than a struggle.

If I've been able to change my life and become the person I want to be, it's the result of holding myself accountable. If I want to be courageous, to be honest, to be generous, to live the kind of life that will result in the world being a better place for having me in it, then I must be accountable to myself for those outcomes.

I believe holding myself accountable allows me drive the change in my life that I want and need.