Ah, Schadenfreude

Friday, November 30, 2012
I have been watching with some bemusement the on-line kerfuffle over the so-called "War on Men." Leaving aside for the moment the utter hypocrisy required for someone like Suzanne Venker - a successful writer who is fully capable of supporting herself - to chastise women for not being feminine and dependent enough, the entire thing is just stupid. 

Reasonable people are not declaring "war" against men. Reasonable people are not suggesting that men should not be allowed to contribute to society in meaningful ways. Reasonable people are not  suggesting that men should be relegated to sperm donors. Reasonable people are not suggesting that men should not participate in public life. What reasonable people are suggesting is that men, especially white men, are slowly, eventually, someday going to have to learn to compete on a level playing field.

And we're getting there. I have worked in male-dominated fields since 1984. During that time, I have watched the cultural norms in professional life change, and change for the better. It's no longer acceptable for men to pinch my ass or otherwise overtly sexually harass me. If I'm still the only female engineer in the room during the the majority of my meetings, at least I'm not perceived as some sort of trained monkey, a one-off phenomenon suitable only to be gawked at while the men-folk marvel at my ladybrain's ability to (gasp) Do Math! And Engineer! Am I still subject to gender-bias and other, more subtle forms of sexual harassment? You bet. Each and every day, and you can be sure that even after all these years it still makes my blood boil and I have to resist the urge to punch people in throat on a semi-regular basis.

But it's better. And I think that's the catalyst for the kerfuffle. This slow, inexorable sea change means that, as Chez notes over at the Daily Banter, white guys "can’t just “show up” and still be the subject of adoration, as they once were."

Yes, it's true. Eventually we'll reach a point where men will no longer get to go to the front of the line simply by virtue of their penises. Some day, men will no longer be able to play the game of life on the lowest difficulty setting. Slowly, ever so slowly, it's changing. And as anyone with enough self-awareness to come in out of the rain knows, it's changing for the better, for both women AND men. Men can now reasonably make the choice to be the stay-at-home parent if that's what they want and it's what works for their family. Men can now reasonably make the choice to work part-time and take care of the household while the female partner is the main breadwinner if that's what they want and it's works for them and their family. These really weren't viable, acceptable choices for men even 20-30 years ago, but now? I know several families who have made these choices, to everyone's benefit, and the men are no less whole, no less contributing members of society for their choices, any more than a woman who made a similar choice would be. Why wouldn't both men and women want this flexibility in their lives?

So when I see men, especially white men, complain so bitterly about the slow, eventual loss of their unearned privilege, I find I am, um, somewhat unsympathetic. As they bitch, cry and moan, I remember each and every time I've been interrupted, ignored, talked over - marginalized - in my professional and personal life, and I just say to myself, "Suck it, you whiny bitch. Welcome to my world."

Not a very flattering reaction, it's true, but it's an honest one. Because in my world, you don't get brownie points for wanting people on an even playing field. It's a minimum standard of decency. One that many prvileged people seem to be failing to achieve.

Free Shit Friday Winner...

...of the Blueberry Lemonade Jam is -CGL- with a random number of 15.

Carolyn, I don't think you've ever won before, so I'll need your snail mail address for shipment. Let me know how it turned out, too, and be honest - since it's a first attempt, I need to know if it tastes like ass so I can strike the recipe from my rotation.

Enjoy! ...as long as it doesn't taste like ass, I mean.

Happy Anniversary

Thursday, November 29, 2012
Today is the fifth anniversary of Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men. In the last five years, I've posted to this space 2,266 times and I've had 267,820 unique visitors.

And I've built a small, satisfying online community. I've had the chance to meet some of my readers in meat-space, and they've been as clever, entertaining, and decent in person as they've been here. Thankfully, the troll-fests have been few and far between, and if my community has remained small and intimate compared to other blogs on the Internet, you can assume it's because I like it that way. I like the fact that I "know" my regular commenters, and that they "know" me. I've occasionally written pieces that ended up attracting the whackadoos and the scum sucking asshats that hang around Reddit, and I've decided that keeping my parties small and "invitation only" is a better fit for me and for this space.

Which is not to say that I'm not going to rant periodically, and I may even rant about controversial topics. Just not every day. It's not good for my blood pressure, and it tends to attract the wrong crowd over the long haul.  Pandering to sycophants and militants holds little appeal to me, compared to the often funny, insightful exchanges that have occurred in my comment threads over the years.

Happy Anniversary, Hot Chicks and Smart Men. And thank you for helping me make my blog a place I'm proud to call "home."

Giving Tuesday - Toys for Tots

Tuesday, November 27, 2012
"I'm Batman."

Since I've been so vociferous in my condemnation of Black Friday, I'm happy to have participated in Giving Tuesday this morning by dropping off the yearly haul for Toys for Tots at our local collection point, Keller's Professional Auto & Diesel* here in Parker. This is our third year of donating a Jeepful of Toys to the Tots, and my Hot Daughter's second year participating in the buying process for our family's donation. This is the kind of consumerism I can get behind.

___________
*Good folks over there at Keller's - they service my Patriot.

A Word of Thanks

Monday, November 26, 2012

Terry and I wanted to thank everyone who called, texted, e:mailed, sent private messages on Facebook and otherwise sent their condolences at the loss of our beloved Boogie.

While these things are never, ever easy, it's comforting to have friends and family who understand and share our grief not only for his loss, but also know how hard it is to be forced to make such decisions for our four-legged family members.

I don't know when we'll return to regularly scheduled content here at Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men - as you can imagine, I don't really feel much like writing non-Boogie related content right now. Thanks for bearing with us at this difficult time.

Boogie the Giant Schnauzer, November 11, 2001 - November 24, 2012

Saturday, November 24, 2012

The best dog in the world. The worst Thanksgiving ever.

Free Shit Friday - Blueberry Lemonade Jam

Friday, November 23, 2012



Today, instead of going out and ruining the weekend of retail workers everywhere, I'm giving away a jar of my brand-new Blueberry Lemonade Jam. This is a new recipe for me, and it appears to have set up all right, but I can't really attest to its quality at this point. However, even if it turned out like boiled dirt, it's still better than going anywhere near the Mall today.

da Rules.

A Week of Gratitude

Thursday, November 22, 2012
Today is Thanksgiving here in the United States. Traditionally, today is a day to reflect on one's life and identify those things for which we're thankful.

Last year, I started a new tradition here at Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men where I choose the first full week of December to blog a Week of Gratitude in an effort to get some perspective about my life and the many things I have to be thankful for.

So once again I'll be blogging a Week of Gratitude the first full week in December, from December 2nd through December 8th. Even if I've written about specific topics before, I believe that identifying and acknowledging those things and people that make my life rewarding, fulfilling, worth living, is never a bad thing.

If anyone wants to join me, please let me know and I'll provide a link list at the bottom of each entry for those who want to participate.

Happy Thanksgiving, Hot Chicks and Smart Men.

Goals - I Has Them

Tuesday, November 20, 2012
I just learned today that my employer has decided not to fund Tuition Reimbursement for the Calendar Year 2013.

I have only six courses left in my current degree program, and was hoping to knock most of them out next year. Now if I wish to do so, I'll be paying tuition out of pocket. Since I'm already paying a portion of my Hot Daughter's tuition, I'm unsure if I can stretch the budget that far, especially in light of DU's extremely expensive tuition rates.  And if push comes to shove, my Hot Daughter's education needs come before mine, since I already have marketable skills.

I'm trying not to be too disappointed by this news. After all, my former employer has already subsidized my education to the tune of over $45K, which is far more help than most students receive. If I have to pay for the home stretch myself, then I should probably put on my big girl panties, do my last three electives at our local Community College for transfer credit, and suck up the cost of the last three required courses at DU.

Education is important. I believe it, and I guess the time has come for me to put my money where my mouth is.

"You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."

Monday, November 19, 2012
No, not Mos Eisley - the absolute circus that has become Black Friday in this country.

Seriously - what the fuck is wrong with these yahoos who run the retail industry? It wasn't enough that those people who work in the retail industry had to report for work at O-Dark-Thirty on the Friday after Thanksgiving or risk losing the only crappy job they were able to find in this economy. Now they have to leave their families on Thanksgiving Day in order to open their stores so that crazy people looking for a "deal" can try to save some money. I don't get it. I just don't. If you have to call in OSHA to help you manage your crowd control so that people don't get trampled to death, I think it's safe to say you're DOING IT WRONG.

It's one thing for people to have to work on holidays because they work in critical services. I've worked my fair share of holidays over the years for that purpose, and didn't begrudge it. But it's not like making sure the Target is open on Thanksgiving contributes in some meaningful way to the health and safety of our communities.

It's just greed, pure and simple. I think it's shameful - SHAMEFUL - that people have to leave their families on a holiday like Thanksgiving to line the pockets of consumers and the companies that compromise the well-being of their employees to cater to them.

Engi-nerd Grrls

Saturday, November 17, 2012
Sometimes I get discouraged at the appalling lack of women in my profession. As a female engineer, I'm often the only woman at the table, and even after all these years of mentoring, Junior Achievement, etc., it still feels like an uphill battle to encourage other women to choose engineering as a viable career. The field is not exactly welcoming, and oftentimes girls are not encouraged to get the education and training they need to break through.

Enter GoldieBlox, a new line of toys for girls that emphasize engineering tasks in ways that girls want to learn. The Kickstarter is over, and they're now taking preorders.

This makes me furiously happy. I've already ordered the first offering as a future Christmas gift for my Awesome, Awesome Niece, and anxiously await future developments. Bravo, Ms. Sterling. Bravo.

 

Things for Thursday

Thursday, November 15, 2012
Seems a woman in Cleveland decided that she was just WAY TOO IMPORTANT to stop for a school bus that was unloading passengers. So she drove her vehicle onto the sidewalk and around the bus. The entire thing was caught on film, and when she went before the Judge, he decided this was the appropriate punishment:


I have about as much sympathy for her as I do for those shameful fucksticks who are able-bodied but still park in disabled parking spots, so I'm afraid I'm indulging in a little schadenfreude on this one. ::snort::

H/T my Hot Mom
__________________

So I was minding my own business yesterday afternoon when the phone rang. It was some woman from a Salt Lake City area code who claimed to be "looking" for one of my neighbors, and then gave me a name I was unfamiliar with. When I claimed I'd never heard of her, the caller replied with, "So you do know ("missing" person's name) at (nearby house's address)?"

Yeah, right. Good luck with that strategy, slick.

I'm afraid I became a bit sharp with the caller at that point and made some snotty comments about the caller's inability to parse English and the probability of me helping strangers hound my neighbors (precisely 0%). And since they called me by my husband's last name and not my own, I suspect they got our number through a reverse look-up on our address.

I swear, people have NO SHAME.
__________________

My trip to Montana was fairly productive from a doing-the-work-for-which-I'm-paid perspective, so go, me. I have to say though - Montanans have a serious obsession with taxidermy and decorating with dead animals. Everywhere I went, dead, glassy eyes followed me accusingly as I looked over my shoulder at their lifeless bodies. I understand that it's a matter of personal taste on an esthetic basis, but - ew.

Montana on My Mind

Monday, November 12, 2012
I'll be heading out to Montana this afternoon on my latest business trip, so instead of original, scintillating content, here's some links to other people's original, scintillating content:

An essay by conservative pundit David Frum which slightly restores my faith in the conservative movement. His central message: Stop longing for the days when only straight, white men had a voice, grow a pair, and stop losing your shit. Bravo, sir.

A little something for Veteran's Day: A Love Story in 22 Pictures. Bring a hanky. No, seriously - bring a hanky. What a lovely couple.

An open letter to Republican strategists from their key demographic - an upper middle class straight white dude named Eric Garland. His central message: For people who live in reality rather than the world of self-delusion, you're getting it wrong, wrong, wrong. Also: You're kind of mean.

SMBC has a new video out which made me laugh and laugh. I do loves me some irony.


I'll be returning on Wednesday unless that bastion of customer service and timely transportation United Airlines hoses up my week (again). Have a good week, Hot Chicks and Smart Men.

Boogie Blogging Friday - Holding His Own Edition

Friday, November 9, 2012
Boogie has finished his initial course of treatment of Adequan, and has been taking his twice daily dose of Neurontin.

While he still tires easily and going down the stairs can be problematic, we've noticed an incremental improvement in his mobility and comfort as a result of this course of treatment.

So we're glad that he's feeling better, although we were hoping for a more dramatic change. We'll continue to provide whatever treatment will improve his quality of life, of course, but it pains me to admit that it's just a holding action at this point. He'll be eleven years old in two days, which given his size means he's moved into extreme old age.

My good, good boy.

Getting wrapped around the axle (and pass the Cheetos)

Thursday, November 8, 2012
So Colorado passed Amendment 64 on Tuesday, which basically legalized the use of recreational marijuana in the state.

As with most drug-related legislation, there were people on both sides of the issue just losing their shit. Here's a run-down of the arguments:

Pro. "Liberty! Revenue! Self-Determination! Cheetos!"

Con. "Drugs! Slippery Slope! Think of the Children!"

Mostly I don't give shit, although I thought it was pretty disingenuous of the writers of the Amendment to specify that portions of the tax revenue from selling recreational marijuana were to be used for education. Why bother, when smoking pot every day makes you dumber than a box of hammers anyway?

Both sides are missing some pretty salient points, in my opinion:
  • Just because the State of Colorado chooses to legalize recreational marijuana in the state doesn't mean the Feds have done so. And while watching the conservative "states' rights" crowd turn themselves into a Möbius strip in an effort to reconcile their contradictory viewpoints on this issue will provide excellent fodder for Jon Stewart, the fundamental conflict still remains. And given the choice between being prosecuted by Denver County for recreational possession ($1.00 fine) and being prosecuted by the Feds for recreational possession (federal offense), I'd take the fine.
  • Those who really wanted to smoke a bowl on the right side of the law were already doing so under Colorado's extremely liberal "medical marijuana" loophole. Seriously, if you were smart enough to poor pee out of a boot, you were doing this on a perfectly legal basis already.
I myself voted for the Amendment, for two reasons. First, I drink alcohol. While I don't have any desire to smoke pot (legally or otherwise), I don't consider it any better or worse than drinking alcohol responsibly on a recreational basis. The hypocrisy required for me to vote "no" on Amendment 64 while simultaneously ordering another delicious Lucky Cat Martini at P.F. Chang's is a bit more than I can tolerate.

Secondly, I'm that strange combination of tax and spend liberal and small "L" libertarian in that I really don't give a good goddamn what people do in terms of their personal life choices. I don't consider it to be any of my business, and to quote my buddy Rachael, "I think responsible adults should be able to do it legally if they want, and that our police and courts and prisons have better things to spend their time and money on than a bunch of potheads whose worst crime is bogarting the Fritos."

We'll see how the Fed versus State issue resolves itself, but really - I have better things to think about. 

Why I am Content Today

Wednesday, November 7, 2012
  • Last night before I went to sleep, I read a chapter of Robert Sawyer's Illegal Alien rather than technical material.

  • The 2012 election is over. I would have preferred that the political landscape had improved in favor of my own point of view, but I'm content with a continuance of the status quo as it relates to control of the White House, the Senate, and the House of Representatives. Because the obvious alternative would make me want to set my hair on fire.

  • I'm still dreaming of subnetting and routing protocols. However, last night I did NOT dream that I was taking a certification exam but was being continuously interrupted by Noam Chomsky, who was trying to discuss the cognitive relevance of professional certification with me while my time was running out. 

  • Reality wins, proving once again that wishful thinking is no match for math.

  • Last night, the Smart Man gave me my Christmas present early - an upgrade to my smart phone from the HTC Incredible 2 to the new Motorola Droid RAZR Maxx HD. While I liked my Incredible, the battery life was woefully inadequate, and it apparently cannot acquire a GPS signal without thinking about it for at least 5 minutes. These things made it a poor choice for me now that I'm traveling so much, and so I settled on the RAZR based on the three things I care about most: GPS acquisition, battery life, and camera quality. I'm still becoming familiar with it, but for now - I like it. 

  • I am SO HAPPY my company suspended Tuition Assistance for the last quarter of the year. If I had been trying to get my technical certifications done while simultaneously studying International Trade, I suspect I would have been medicated by now, possibly as a resident in an in-patient program. 
Time to move on, Hot Chicks and Smart Men. I wonder how long I should wait before re-subscribing to my political podcasts? 

Die, Monkey, DIE!

Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Die a horrible, gruesome death, with no hope of mercy or salvation. Die in the heat of a thousand burning suns!

DIE, DIE, DIE! 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ahem.

I finally passed.

And now, some certification humor:

Q: What do school children and technical professionals have in common?

A: Useless standardized tests that don't measure what they purport to measure. "No Child Left Behind," "Professional Certification," po-tae-to, po-tah-to.

Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
Your next certification exam.
    Kill me now.

Vote


Bill Collectors

Friday, November 2, 2012
I work for a Fortune 100 company. I travel a lot. Therefore, I have a Corporate American Express card that I use for my business expenses.

Because I work in the military industrial complex, my company has very strict guidelines for the type of charges I'm permitted to incur, when I have to submit my expense reports, receipt requirements, etc., etc., ad naseum. Because I have a meticulous (okay, anal-retentive) nature, I'm pretty conscientious about it, and make sure I submit my reports promptly and completely. My company's financial department reviews them within a day or two of submission, and sends them in for payment quickly.

Please note that my company has 50,000 employees. Many of these employees travel overseas or domestically, and charge vast amounts of travel expenses to American Express.

This is why my conversations with them over the last two days have boggled my mind. I had to call for a slight credit increase to pay a registration fee for a professional conference next year. I had to speak to two associates (because the first one screwed it up), but both of the people who took my call felt compelled to badger me incessantly about when my employer would be paying the outstanding balance on my card, a balance that wasn't even due for another 10 business days. They wanted to know, Was I aware of the balance? Did I know when my company's accounts payable was planning on paying it? Did I think it would be paid by the due date? Would I please call my accounts payable department and make sure they intended to pay prior to the due date?

Because obviously I have nothing better to do than to ride herd on my $33 billion company's accounts payable department over a not-yet-due $1,000 balance on my Corporate American Express card.

This happened with both associates with whom I spoke so I have to believe that asking these questions are a matter of policy on the part of American Express. But why? Who agrees to chase this shit down for them rather than referring them to Accounts Payable? And does it actually work? "Oh, since this engineer who has nothing to do with accounting or finance called and asked me to expedite this not-yet-due bill, I guess I'll drop everything and take care of it!" Bitch, please.

Of course, I told them that I would not discuss the matter, since I wasn't responsible for paying the bill and referred them to my company's administrator. I spoke to her later in the day, and she's a very nice woman who told me that future difficulties should be referred directly to her. Now THERE's a plan I can get behind.

My friend Nunya

Thursday, November 1, 2012
*ring, ring*

Janiece: Hullo?

Female Call Center Agent: Hello! I'm Ariel from the We Like to Annoy You Research Company, and I was wondering if I can ask you a few questions! Have you voted?

J: Yes.

FCCA: So you voted early?

J: Since it's not yet Election Day, and I've voted, I'm going to go with "yes."

FCCA: Why did you vote early?

J: I made up my mind fairly early in the process.

FCCA: Who did you vote for in the Presidential race?

J: None of your business.

FCCA: Excuse me?

J: None of your business.

FCCA: Why won't you tell me?

J: I don't think who I voted for is any of your damn business.

FCCA: Well, that's kind of rude.

J: Not nearly as rude as, say, attempting to invade my privacy by determining who I voted for via secret ballot. Now THAT'S rude.

FCCA: I'm just trying to do my job

J: So am I. Which you're interrupting with your self-serving questions.

FCCA: Have a nice day!

J: Not likely. At least until the election is over.

*click*



You said it, Abby.