Wearing Me Down

Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Yesterday I was mansplained.

The details aren't really important. Suffice it to say that during a professional conversation, I made a point I thought was salient to the discussion, and a man-of-a-certain-age came right in behind me to provide the idea I had just proposed as his own, providing additional detail that my Ladybrain obviously was too vapor-ish to communicate.

And while the situation irritated me - as it always does - what I felt at that moment was mostly fatigue. 

I didn't know the man in question. I have no idea if he did what he did because he's a closet misogynist, or if he does that to everyone. I didn't really care, actually. Because I'm tired.

Tired of people assuming that because I'm a woman, my professional role couldn't be that of the engineer.

Tired of men talking over me.

Tired of men consciously or unconsciously stealing my ideas and calling them their own in such a blatant way.

Tired of having professional material mansplained to me.

I'm just tired. And while I've never been a huge, in-your-face-feminist, I know that challenging stereotypes, demanding my place at the table, continuing to excel in a male dominated field is important. It's important to me, and it's important to the women who come after me. It's work worth doing, and will leave the world a better place than I found it. I'm just lacking in motivation at the moment.

So tired.

6 comments:

John the Scientist said...

Not sure Janiece. I'm an early Gen-Xer like you, and I get this shit, too. I look a little younger than I am, and I get these fucking Boomers who are out of ideas and just squatting on all the plum jobs explaining shit to me, too, as if I'm just out of school. sorry, dude, I have a Ph.D. that's younger, and therefore more relvant than yours, AND I have 15 years of experience ina field you use, but have never actaully participated in. Shut up and listen to me.

He may have just been mysogynistic, or it may have been a varity of factors, or as you say, he may treat everyone younger than himself that way.

Thorvaldr said...

I get that you're tired.

But you are also a Sailor and a fucking Leader. Life is HARD sometimes.

I will support you.

But I love seeing you get back on the damned horse.

I'm pretty sure the saying is, DON'T let the bastards wear you down.

(signed)

A guy who really tries to remember never to mansplain, among his other bad habits.

Stacey said...

This just makes me sad. I know what you're made of and to have you say you're tired speaks to me of the enormity of the issue. I have nothing to offer except my love and hugs.

Janiece said...

Thanks for the kind words, friends.

I suspect I'll get over it (and I've already returned to the fight), but I have noticed that my episodes of feminist fatigue are coming more frequently these days. Perhaps because this year marks my 30th anniversary in male dominated fields.

Unknown said...

Keep fighting the good fight Momma. Your example and courage does us all proud. Someday we'll get there. (No promises either thee or me will *live* to see that day, but someday.)

Carol Elaine said...

Love, hugs and support to you, my awesome, awesome friend. I have no doubt that you're worth 10 of that guy.

Also, a throat punch to him. Let him try to mansplain that away.