Adventures in Customer Service - Longs Peak Landscape

Tuesday, February 26, 2013
My Hot Mom is on the mend. Everyone's relieved about this turn of events (especially her), but the fact of the matter is that she just had back surgery and she's in her seventies. She should no longer be shoveling snow off her drive and walk, and she lives 65 miles from the Big Yellow House. So we're not exactly in a position to help her with this particular chore. At the recommendation of one of her local friends, I contracted Longs Peak Landscape to come out and shovel her drive and walk whenever there was .5 inches of snow on ground. They were going to charge me $40.00 for each instance, and we signed a contract to that effect.

Since signing that contract, there has been two instances of snow where they should have come out and shoveled. In neither case did they do so. The first time, the friend who recommended them called to complain, and they apologized and said it wouldn't happen again. The second time, I sent this e:mail:
I contracted with your company on 1/4/2013 for snow removal at my mother's residence. Since that time, there have been two snow falls that have met the criteria for service as detailed in our agreement, and in NEITHER CASE has your company fulfilled its contractual obligation by performing snow removal. Can you provide some reason for your failure? Or provide any reason whatsoever that I shouldn't terminate your services immediately and enter into a contractual agreement with a competitor?
Their response, provided on February 25 at 9:02 a.m.:
Janiece, All I can do is apologize! I know you are on the schedule and I personally reminded the snow managers of your mothers residence on each occasion to go service her home. I have forwarded your email to the snow managers as a complaint and have asked one of them to contact you regarding this. Again, I am so sorry!
So I waited for a "snow manager" to call me. I waited for them to e:mail me. And the silence rang out like thunder. And it's supposed to snow again this evening. Lovely.

So I sent them the following e:mail:
Since your snow removal supervisor never contacted me I can only assume your company really doesn't have any reason whatsoever why I shouldn't give my business to a competitor and then leave scathing reviews all over the Internet about how unreliable your company is. I can assure you that I'll begin that work with far more urgency than your snow removal crew showed.
And that's what I've spent the evening doing - leaving entirely factual, negative reviews on the Internet about how this entirely unreliable company basically left my mother housebound by failing to meet their contractual obligations. I even joined Angie's List so that I could leave a negative review there, as well.

The thing that's so entirely infuriating about this is that I'm not in a position to close the gap. I'm in Bellevue this week, it's not like I can drive to Longmont and dig her out. And even if I wasn't, driving 65 miles one way on a work day in order to shovel snow is not exactly conducive to my continued employment. This is why I wanted to hire THEM to do this work, because I can't. And they basically just blew me off, blew my Hot Mom off, and left her very gracious and kind neighbors to do the work they were supposed to do.

Do people who fail to perform the work for which they're paid realize how their poor execution affects other people? Do they care? I honestly don't know. But in this case, I'm going to shout that failure from the roof tops.
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Today's positivity: My Hot Mom's neighbors are honestly the kindest, most gracious human beings EVAH. I don't know what we'd do if they weren't there and so utterly, completely helpful.

Miscellaneous Monday

Monday, February 25, 2013

It's Monday, so it must be Washington, DC...I mean Bellevue, WA...I mean Chicago, IL...

DC was actually last week, Bellevue is this week, and Chicago is next week. But I'm beginning to need a score card to keep track of where I'm supposed to be. I'm hoping things will settle down in March because I'm a crazy, crazy optimist that way.

My pool table is covered with Free Shit

The winner of the Raspberry Jam from February 8th is JstPam, with a random number of 5. It will join its fellows in the queue of things that have yet-to-be mailed to their various new homes. You guys may see your stuff in March sometime. Maybe. If you're lucky. If I'm lucky.

Healthy Priorities

One of the downsides of traveling so much is that my eating and exercise habits have been suffering. It's hard to eat healthily in hotel restaurants and still maintain anything resembling variety, and oftentimes it's far too easy to succumb to temptation when it comes to unhealthy snacks. When I add in the fact that I can't run on treadmills and don't like to run by myself in strange neighborhoods, the result has been a lapse in my fitness and an accompanying increase in my girth. I think the solution is to redouble my discipline as it pertains to my exercise and food intake, but I'm having trouble finding the motivation to do so. However, the shitstorm excuse only flies for so long and then I need to move forward with my goals firmly in mind. So here we go. Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

Outrunning the Buttwads

One of the nice things about my gig in the Military Industrial Complex is that my immediate team is made up entirely of top-notch people - smart, hard-working risk-takers who see the benefits, challenges and opportunities in front of us. It's been a while since I've worked in a high performance team, and I thoroughly enjoy that aspect of my gig.

But there are always, always buttwads.

In this case they don't work in my team directly, but instead work in teams that my team must work with - sort of a tertiary buttwad situation. That's just the nature of the beast. You can run, but you can never completely hide from the buttwads of the world. No matter how hard you try.

Today's positivity

I bought new luggage as I had basically worn out my medium sized bag. I selected a set of ultra-light Wenger bags, and we loves it, precious. Now I'll have to think long and hard before I tell one of my friends that "You know I love you more'n my luggage."

Miscellaneous Monday

Monday, February 18, 2013

GPS? What GPS?

This week I'm in our company's headquarters location in Virginia attending a conference and working face-to-face with my team on some upcoming projects. I haven't been here since July, and if you'll recall, the last time I was here I set a new standard in poor land navigation. Because I'M AWESOME THAT WAY. I'm really, really hoping that this time I can find the building where I'm supposed to be without having to call out a Search and Rescue party due to my inability to find my way out of a paper bag. Perhaps I should leave the hotel early, say by 4 a.m.

A Bittersweet Season

Seems like the Smart Man and I have been going to a lot of funerals and such here lately. Most of that is simply due to our age - the generations that have come before are getting up there in years, and the natural order of things dictates that we will be spending time celebrating their lives as they leave us to take up their place. While I think we've been fairly successful in dealing with these issues with some measure of grace, it's still a bittersweet place to be in our lives, and sometimes peace eludes me.

Alone Again, Naturally

I'm currently on week three of a five week travel schedule, and the reroute to Ohio for the family funeral means that by the time February wraps up I will have spent only seven nights in my own bed this month. I'm trying hard not to get too wrapped about this - it can't be helped, and there's no doubt that I'm doing the right thing both personally and professionally by being away from home as I have in February. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I miss my family and that I find myself feeling lonely.

Which is why today's positivity is the wonder that is the Internet, which has allowed me to make friends all over the country. Yesterday my good friend NeuronDoc and her fabulous family picked me up at the airport and we had a good visit and a meal before they dropped me off at my hotel. Having the opportunity to visit with various members of the UCF as well as my more "traditional" friends and family makes the demands of my professional life more bearable, and for that I'm grateful.

Favorite Auntie

Saturday, February 16, 2013
I've been in Ohio for the last several days for a family funeral. The service was very nice, and the Priest who did the homily focused on celebrating the life of the Smart Man's Aunt, which is always a tone I appreciate at a funeral. Doom and gloom at these times is Not Helpful - death is a natural part of life, and we must learn to face it with grace and dignity. For me this means showing thanks for having the deceased in my life, so a good service.

My Smart Brother-in-Law, the father of my Awesome, Awesome Niece is here with us, of course. Since he's never been away from his daughter, we've been doing a lot of Facetime with my Amazing Sister-in-Law and the baby. And during this time, my status as the "Favorite Auntie" has been firmly established, which is my bit of positivity for today.

Every time my Smart BIL gets his family on Facetime, my Awesome, Awesome Niece has been immediately looking into the camera and saying "Niece? Niece?" - her name for me, since "Janiece" is a bit tough to say for a not-yet-two-year-old. There are four of us here, including her Dad, Grandma and Uncle, but she's been consistently asking for her favorite Auntie, because she's wonderful like that. Dad? Chopped liver. Grandma? Whatever. Uncle? Never heard of him. She wants her "Niece." Go, me.

Bonus positive: When she does ask for the Smart Man, she calls him "Ick." My husband, Uncle Ick. For his part, he doesn't care what she calls him, as long as she calls him. Go, us.

Little Miss Fucking Ray of Death

Wednesday, February 13, 2013
The title of the post is, of course, a joke. A friend of mine indicated several weeks ago that she was turning into "Little Miss Fucking Ray of Sunshine," and because I was having a bad month, too, I responded that I myself was turning into "Little Miss Fucking Ray of Death." So much for being positive.

Just kidding - I actually had a pretty good day today, and here's today's bit of "Go, Me" positivity:
My flight from Orlando to Ohio today required a change of planes in Atlanta, and the layover was only 40 minutes. If you've ever been in the Atlanta airport, then you know such an endeavor may in fact be problematic. But guess what? The connecting flight was only two gates away, and I made it in plenty of time. Bonus positive: My luggage made it, as well. So - go, me.

Go, Me

Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Things have been pretty grim at the Big Yellow House for the last three months. First we had to put our beloved Boogie to sleep, then my Hot Mom's back injury became critical, and then it was just one fucking thing after another - one of the Jeeps wouldn't start, the hot water heater cratered, my travel schedule became very hectic, I couldn't sleep worth a damn, blah, blah, blah, on and on in a seemingly endless litany of despair.

So it really came as no surprise when my trip to Orlando this week included food poisoning and a death in the Smart Man's family. It just figured.

But honestly, I'm tired of hearing myself complain - it feels like a bad country-western song around here, and it's boring as shit. And the fact of the matter is, regardless of how snake-bit we are right now, regardless of how legitimate the complaints are, there isn't a single thing we could have done differently that would have resulted in a different outcome.* And since I can't control these outcomes, then I've decided to change my attitude. So from now until things start to improve, I'm going to force myself to find something positive to talk about here at Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men. Even if I need to rant about the latest political idiocy, even if I need to roll my eyes at the rampant mansplaining, even if I need to rail against the universe (remember - sometimes it's NECESSARY), then I will still end each blog entry with a positive something, even if it's tiny. Because very few people's lives are 100% dismal, and it behooves me to remind myself of this fact - especially when it feels like things are going to nothing but shit.

So. Here's today's bit of positivity:
  • In spite of missing the first full day of this conference, I feel like it was a relatively productive trip. I don't think the details are important, but I accomplished a few things I thought were important, so, go, me.
  • This evening I treated myself to something called a RELAXATION MASSAGE, and it turns out that it WAS. Again, go, me.
I'm off to the midwest in the morning, and I'm hoping for a few positive things for tomorrow, too. Go, me.


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*Except perhaps the bad crab. I suppose I could have ordered something else.

Learnings from Sista Stacey

Saturday, February 9, 2013
My friend Stacey is leaving Colorado today. Her fabulous husband got a job in Manhattan, and they're moving to New York to take advantage of the opportunity. I can't tell you how much I'm going to miss her. While it's much easier to stay in touch now than ever before, I'd grown accustomed to having her in my life locally, and today New York seems very far away.

It's my belief that each and every relationship in our lives has something to offer us, and provides an opportunity to learn and grow. Sometimes those opportunities are negative examples, sometimes they're positive examples, but it's up to each of us to take the lessons provided and incorporate them in a way that makes us better human beings.

So here's the top five things I've learned from Sista Stacey in the relatively short time she's been my friend:
5. You can never be too organized, but you can definitely be too thin.
4. Railing against the universe is unproductive. It's also occasionally necessary.
3. Making a courageous choice can lead to a courageous life. Sometimes it has the opposite effect, but giving up a chance for the former because there's a chance of the latter is what cowards do.
2. The family you choose is the very best kind.
And most importantly:
1. When people you care about appear to need your help, it's better to go and be turned away than to not go at all.
I'll miss you, my sister. More than I can say.

Free Shit Friday - Raspberry Jam

Friday, February 8, 2013


The winner of last week's Blackberry Jam is Juan, with a random number of 13. Juan, It may be March before I get that in the mail.

This week's Free Shit offering is a pint of my Raspberry Jam. Since I still haven't gotten Shelby's shoes in the mail, please note that this jam will probably languish in my basement for some period of time before reaching its intended recipient. Because that's how I roll these days.

da Rules.

Mansplained

Tuesday, February 5, 2013
I've worked in male-dominated fields my entire adult life, and I have to tell you - I am sick to fucking death of being mansplained.

I am a top performer in my field. I've always been professionally successful, always been in the top 10-15% of sailors, or technicians, or engineers who do the same work I do. And I've always been in the minority, the only woman in the room, the only woman on my team, the only woman with my qualifications.

And for the last 30 years, I've had to listen to entitled, self-impressed gits talk over me, or marginalize my thoughts or opinions, or present my ideas as their own in the same meeting where I just presented my idea, or just ignore me altogether.

It's not my job to stroke the ego of some Good Ole Boy who has never learned to work with women who are qualified to do work other than "women's work." It's not my job to let a man take credit for the work I perform because it's inconceivable that a woman might perform better than a man. It's not my job to cater to whatever territorial pissing contest some man has in mind when it comes to my professional working environment. It's just not, and I'm not willing to act like it is because it makes men uncomfortable to have their unearned privilege challenged by an uppity woman.

So I'm going to start taking my cue from my new personal hero, Hillary Clinton,* who smacked the shit out of some mansplainers recently in Washington, DC. I can't even tell you how much I loved how she conducted herself, and the next time this happens to me, my response will absolutely be, "Are you still talking?"



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*H/T on the link to Sista Stacey.

Miscellaneous Monday

Monday, February 4, 2013

Why-O, Why-O-hio

I'm heading to Ohio this morning for an overnight trip to meet with a vendor. While I know many people in Ohio, and would enjoy seeing most of them, I'm booked solid for this trip so I'll be an "all work and no play" kind of engineer this week. It seems appropriate, somehow - January has been nothing but a great big slog through a swamp of crisis, and for now my goal is simply to get back to some level of normalcy. I'm not holding my breath.

I need more Clydesdales in my life

When I was a teenager, I was involved in a youth riding group that performed at the National Western Stock Show and Rodeo every year. Frequently the other featured act was one of the traveling rigs of the Budweiser Clydesdales, and I loved those horses. The men that traveled with them were always gracious and kind, tolerating the ever-present gaggle of girls who hung around, answering our endless questions and allowing us to "help" get the teams ready for the hitch. So I have fond memories of those animals and I still get choked up when I see them. This year's Superbowl commercial was especially emotionally manipulative, and yet, I don't really care. I want a Clydesdale horse. You hear that, Smart Man? It's the perfect Valentine gift! We can name him "Sweetie Pie," and I'll love him and hug him, and teach him to trail ride. Oh, and I'll need a ladder in order to mount, as well. 

Uncle! Uncle!

So yesterday we were supposed to go see Jekyll and Hyde at the Denver Center for the Performing Arts, but we ended up staying home, instead. That's because I woke up with a sore throat and a headache, and then the Smart Man's Jeep wouldn't start, and then the pressure relief valve in the hot water heater started to leak again, which means we get to replace that, too.* Because evidently the current shitstorm that is our life just wasn't sufficient to keep the Universe amused, and so it just continues to pile on. I'm going to concede this round to the Universe, and possibly the next one, as well. Stupid Universe. Someone needs to punch that motherfucker right in the damn throat.


*That last part meant I got to take an ice-cold shower this morning before leaving for the airport. Whee.

Free Shit Friday - Blackberry Jam

Friday, February 1, 2013

First, last week's winner of the Dansko Ryders is Shelby, with a random number of 3. Shelby, I don't have your current address, so please send it over and I'll get those in the mail.

This week's Free Shit Friday offering is a pint of my always popular Blackberry Jam. Disclaimer: Whoever wins will probably have to wait for delivery, since I'm currently racking up frequent flyer miles like I'm in a race with Dr. Chang-Diaz.

da Rules.