Why I Run

Monday, April 29, 2013
It's been almost a year since I started running. The beginning was basically an accident. We were visiting my Smart BIL and his amazing family, and I was going for a walk as part of my health and fitness plan. Because they live at sea level, I was having trouble getting my heart rate above 100, so on a whim I decided to see if I could run for 15 minutes, walk for 15. Turns out I could, and so I started incorporating running into my plan.

Over the last year, I've increased my distance steadily, and ran my first 5k last year in support of the Wounded Warrior Project. I currently run 3 times a week for a total of 20 miles and hope to run in my first 10K this summer.

For those who have known me for many years, this turn of events seems more than a little strange. I've always despised running, so much so that I would train for and do the optional swim for my Navy Physical Readiness Test (purported to be harder than the run) just so I'd never have to run. And yet, here I am.

Over the last decade or so, I've been pretty conscientious about exercising. It controls my depression without my having to resort to medication, and once I found out that cardiovascular exercise in middle age and a decreased risk of senile dementia in old age were correlated, I was even more committed. But I always preferred walking, or the elliptical, or the arc trainer. And I still do those things, on the four days a week I don't run, or when logistics prevent me from running outside or on the track. But nothing gets my heart rate up like running, or burns more calories.

But that's not why I do it.

I run because even though I suck at it, even though I'm slow as shit and my form is bad, it makes me feel strong. I can run for eight miles without stopping, and on good days, when my legs feel good and my breathing is steady, I feel like I can run forever.

As a youngster, I was never one of the athletic kids. I was never picked for sports teams. I was always kind of bottom heavy and had short legs, and my complete lack of anything resembling coordination made me a poor choice for those endeavors. And I was made acutely aware of these "shortcomings," just like every unathletic kid in the history of the world. Thus physical activity became a source of pain for me, a place where I was compared to my peers and always found wanting.

But I'm older now, and the weight I put on comparing my physical performance with others' is pretty minimal. And removing that internal barrier has set me free. When I run, I take pleasure in my strength, in my body, in the simple fact of my own locomotion. It brings me joy, to know my body works in this fundamental way, and that I'm using it to do the work for which it evolved.

I'm strong when I run. I can feel my lungs, my heart, my muscles and bones working together to propel me forward. And that makes me grateful.

Free Shit Friday - Spiced Fig Jam by The Mechanicky Gal

Friday, April 26, 2013


Today's Free Shit Friday offering is a Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men/Mechanicky Gal Joint.

The Mechanicky Gal has an extremely prolific fig tree in her back yard, and recently made a foray into jam making. This is the last of three offerings from that endeavor, a jar of Spiced Fig jam.

da Rules.

Go, Us

Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Like most Americans, I've been following the news out of Boston for the last week or so. I'm glad the two suspects have been removed from society* pending due process, and I'm proud as hell of the performance of the first responders and civilians during this crisis. Go, us.

During the course of the crisis, though, I noticed something very different between the reaction of our country between what happened on 9/11 and what happened in Boston. While noting that the scale of these events is very different, I think it's fair to say that we, as Americans, did a much better job this time around.

First responders and law enforcement were on the ball. They apparently coordinated their efforts effectively, which resulted in not only the apprehension of the suspects, but the safeguarding of civilians and property. While the courage and dedication of first responders on 9/11 was never in question, they were working under the handicaps of shock and a failure of coordinated communications. That did not appear to be the case in Boston. We all know that America is not safe from this type of behavior. We're just not, and if 9/11 taught our first responders anything, it was not to be naive on this count and to be prepared. And we were. Go, us.

But I think the biggest change in our collective reaction was the courage of the general population. 9/11 was such a shocking event, such an unexpected event, I don't think people understood what was going on, and thus their reactions were compromised by their confusion and ignorance. Now? Spectators and runners responded. They ran toward the danger, right into the smoke and fire, in order to help those in need. While there are plenty of stories of the people in New York responding in just such a way 12 years ago, I think now the population understands such extraordinary acts of bravery by ordinary people are expected. They're still praiseworthy, these people still command our respect and admiration, but the culture has changed. Seeing the photos of our heroes still brings a tear to my eye and a swelling to my heart, but my reaction is no longer, "What an extraordinary human being." Instead it's "Of course people rushed in to help, in spite of the danger. It's how we roll."

"Keep calm and carry on," as it were.

The Smart Man thinks this sea change may be a result of seeing how New York's first responders behaved on 9/11. That the example of those men and women doing their duty with such determination and courage has shamed us into raising the bar on our obligations to help one another not just by donating to the American Red Cross, but by charging into the breach when necessary.

I don't know if he's right, but I'm intensely proud of this change. Prior to 9/11, it seemed that this kind of self-sacrifice was on the wane in our country. Now? Now, like Carlos Arredondo, we run into the smoke and the fire, to face the danger head-on, and help those who are not in a position to help themselves.

Go us, indeed.

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*Hey, being killed by law enforcement after holding up a convenience store, murdering a police officer, throwing explosives and carjacking innocents is, in fact, being "removed from society." While I would have preferred that the young man in question been taken alive for intelligence reasons, I'll shed no tears over this outcome.

Miscellaneous Monday

Monday, April 22, 2013

On the Road Again

I'm leaving tomorrow for the Washington, DC area for eleven days. There are certain tasks I need to complete there, and since I needed to be there first thing Monday morning on the 29th, I didn't see any point in coming home for the weekend. So instead I'll be spending the weekend with my Smart BIL, my Amazing SIL and my AWESOME, AWESOME NIECE. It's a supreme sacrifice, it's true, but somehow I'll carry on.

The Smart Man, of course, is simply GREEN with envy. Not that I blame him. I'd be grumpy, too, if I was him. I just hope the business portion of the trip goes as well as I suspect the personal part will.

On Fear

I've been struggling a bit over the last week with fear and depression. Nothing crippling, and nothing that I don't think I'll get over, but it's been...annoying. And fatiguing. These occasions always make me appreciate the fact that I don't suffer from more serious mental illness. I'm capable of muscling through these times, and I'm grateful I have that option.

The Empty Nest

While I'm in Virginia, our Hot Daughter is planning on moving out. This will be the second time the Smart Man and I have had the house to ourselves (the first time lasted only four months, between the Smart Sailor's departure for Boot Camp and our Hot Daughter's return as a full time student).

I know some parents wig out when their adult children leave home and they're left with an empty nest. I have no understanding of this position. My attitude has always been that getting them the hell out without resorting to juvenile detention or pole-dancing is the preferred outcome. The fact that both of them are finally achieving this goal is a great, big WIN, even if she's only going two blocks instead of halfway around the world like her brother. If you need us, the Smart Man and I will be swinging from the chandeliers. After I return from DC, I mean. 

She Ain't Heavy

Yes, she is. But I'm working on it. I've lost almost nine pounds since April 1st, which puts me right on track for my summer weight-loss goal. We'll see how that holds up while I'm out of town. Wish me luck.

2013 Flower Pr0n, San Diego Edition the Fifth

Sunday, April 21, 2013


Free Shit Friday - What a Surpirse, More Shoes

Friday, April 19, 2013

Today's Free Shit Friday offering is a pair of Aerosole shoes with 3" heels, size 8 Medium.

da Rules.

The winner of the Ouzo Fig Jam is Stacey, with a Random Number of 4. Stacey, send your new address to The Mechanicky Gal so she can ship out your loot when she's damn good and ready.

Also, MAW never sent contact details for the Amaretto Fig Jam, so we're defaulting to the First Runner up, Anne. You snooze, you lose.

No Hugs for Them

Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Yesterday when I wrote my declaration in favor of humanity, my Hot Mom responded that while she was sending hugs to the victims and responders of the Boston attack, those responsible should be deprived of this comfort now and forevermore. No hugs for them, she noted. 

And this got me to thinking. The problem with having a large, dispersed population is that the traditional form of punishment known as "banishment" doesn't work anymore.

Imagine if banishing those people who are capable of such heinous acts was still possible. They would be cut off from civilization, from the comforts of modern life, from the succor of community and family. No reputable family would take them in, no business would take their money, no group would welcome them to their proverbial fire. They would be destitute, and utterly, completely alone. 

On the other hand, there are certainly advantages to living in a society that no longer has the option to banish. More diversity, fewer constraints on behavior that does not hurt others, less superstition. These all contribute to the net good in the world. Which means I guess I'll have to be satisfied with the modern equivalent, otherwise known as "prison."

My thoughts and support to the law enforcement professionals working diligently to find answers in Boston. And hugs. Sending those, too.

I Cried Yesterday

Tuesday, April 16, 2013
I cried yesterday. I cried because there are people in this world who think it's completely appropriate to kill perfect strangers to make a point, or state their position, or just because their personal demons told them to. I cried for their families, and their friends, and for humanity, because we spawn such evil.

And then I cried some more. Because even though our species is capable of such acts, we surely compensate by being capable of amazing courage, kindness and generosity. We're capable of running toward the evil, in order to protect the innocent. We're capable of giving of ourselves, in order to help others on the worst days of our lives. We're capable of reaching out and providing a loving embrace, because we know that sometimes the only thing you can do is hug a stranger. For every evil act, there a thousand kind, courageous acts, perhaps lesser in scope, but overwhelming in their volume and sincerity.

Today I'm proud to be human. Because I can see that even though there are a few people who are fundamentally broken, and thus capable of committing heinous acts on their fellows, there are far more of us who are whole, and thus capable of amazing acts. Today I choose to have humanity defined by the latter and not the former. Go, us.

2013 Flower Pr0n, San Diego Edition the Fourth

Sunday, April 14, 2013


Free Shit Friday - Fig Ouzo Jam by The Mechanicky Gal

Friday, April 12, 2013


Today's Free Shit Friday offering is a Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men/Mechanicky Gal Joint.

The Mechanicky Gal has an extremely prolific fig tree in her back yard, and recently made a foray into jam making. This is the first of three offerings from that endeavor, a jar of Fig Ouzo jam.

da Rules.

No one wanted the Michael Shannon pumps from last week, so they're off to the Good Will.

Lessons (Re)Learned

Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Apparently I have a learning disability. There are certain life lessons that I'm apparently incapable of learning the first time around. Or the second. Or the third. You get the idea.

Thankfully, my life provides me with ample opportunities to learn these lessons over and over again, and in a few cases, they've even stuck. This makes me happy because it gives me the opportunity to not only be a better person, but to get more enjoyment from my life, as well.

This year has been pretty challenging here at the Big Yellow House due to a variety of external factors. On the bright side, I've learned (and relearned) some lessons as a result:

With a Little Help from my Friends

Asking for help when you need it is a net good in the world. This is true both personally and professionally, and although it's advice I tend to give, it's much harder for me to take. This is especially true in my new gig in the Military Industrial Complex, because I still feel like I have things to prove. In my old job, I would not have hesitated to call my amazing boss if I ran into trouble - it was his job to plow the road, and I accepted his help without trouble. I need to learn this lesson in my new job, as well. I have a new amazing boss who is at least as effective as my old one, and giving him the chance to help me be successful is not a sign of weakness.

Virtue unlocked: Humility.

Book of Love

You know what makes running around, and around, and around on a track much better? Listening to books by Terry Pratchett, specifically, the Discworld Books narrated by Nigel Planer. This series is simply delightful, and I'm so happy Random Michelle introduced them to me.

Virtue unlocked: Contentment.

You Can't Always Get What you Want

It's true - sometimes you can't get what you want. But if you aren't honest with people about your expectations, you have no chance of getting what you want or what you need from those relationships. Adult relationships sometimes include hard, painful conversations surrounding this core fact. Sometimes they're effective. Sometimes they're not. But they're always, always worth having, because everyone deserves a chance to do better in their life and their relationships, and staying silent robs them of this chance.

Virtue unlocked: Honesty.

Say What You Want

Taking pleasure in small things is a virtue that is worth cultivating. For example, I was listening to a Podcast where one of the speakers used the word "fungible." I love that word. Although the meaning isn't particularly whimsical, the word itself sounds like it should be. Say it out loud: FUNGIBLE. Hee. Here's another one: Cromulent. HA. The idiosyncrasies of language is a never ending delight. 

Virtue unlocked: Joy.

Miscellaneous Monday

Monday, April 8, 2013

Run, Janiece, Run

The weather is finally turning here in Sunny Colorado, which means it's almost time for me to resume my outside running schedule and start preparing for my next goal - a 10K. I did my first 5K last summer, and decided that this year a 10K would be within my reach and ability.

I'm glad outside running will soon be available to me, though. I've been trying to keep to my thrice weekly schedule this winter, but the longer I've had to run on the Field House track, the fewer times per week I've actually been doing it. Running around, and around, and around in .9 mile circles for six miles (that's 66 laps, for those doing the math at home) is about the most boring thing in the world, and reminds me of Conan pushing the wheel during his boyhood.

North, to Alaska

I've begun research on our planned Alaskan Cruise for next year. We taking my Hot Mother in Law as a special gift, and if our Hawai'ian Cruise taught me anything, it's that planning is the key to a successful travel experience. That, and drinking heavily.

We're thinking a Glacier Bay itinerary at the end of May so that we'll have plenty of opportunity to see the Spring color and do some whale watching, while simultaneously avoiding the stampede of children that occurs once Summer Vacation begins.* We're really looking forward to this, and hope to have as much fun as we did the last time.

Sugar Free

I tried my hand at Sugar-Free Raspberry Jam yesterday. I used a Splenda recipe, and the Smart Man and I thought it was pretty tasty, if a bit tart. Hopefully it'll set up correctly rather than needing a straw or a chisel for consumption. I gave it a go because my Superlative Uncle needs to reduce his sugar and I wanted to help. There'll probably be a jar in Free Shit Friday at some point for those that need to watch the sugar intake.

Jet City Woman

After a number of weeks at home, I'm starting to book travel for Spring. I'm glad to be working on projects that I think are important, but I'm a bit concerned about my ability to manage my exercise and food intake, since I did such a poor job previously. I've been doing really well so far - wish me luck!

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*I do not appreciate ill-behaved children in my spaces, especially when I'm on vacation. And since I cannot "screen" children who might also be participating in this cruise, I will instead attempt to limit the statistical universe of children in my space. Science. It works, bitches. 

2013 Flower Pr0n, San Diego Edition the Third

Sunday, April 7, 2013


Free Shit Friday - The Purge Continues

Friday, April 5, 2013

Today's Free Shit Friday offering is a pair of leather Michael Shannon slingback pumps in taupe*, size 8. I like these pumps, and they're reasonably comfortable, but the peep-toe makes them problematic for work events. Plus there's the whole "they've been replaced by a pair of Fluevogs" factor.

da Rules.

The winner of the Amaretto Fig Jam is MAW, with a random number of 5. Send the details, The Mechanicky Gal will send the jam, yo.

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*Sorry about the color in the photo - they're actually a true taupe color, similar to the color in the pair that replaced them, not the cream that is depicted here. My camera is apparently having trouble with color depiction these days.

Let's Stick Together

Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Today is our anniversary. Fifteen years we've been together, almost half my adult life. What can I say about our life together?

It doesn't seem like we've been together that long, and yet, imagining my life without him seems utterly lonely. 

He's my family. His birth family is my family, too, and vice versa.

He makes me laugh.

We challenge each other to be better people.

We help each other see the world more clearly, because while we both have blind spots, we don't have the same blind spots.

He taught me that my work does not define who I am.

Our relationship taught me that my emotional baggage is no one's responsibility but my own.

He's my friend, but he's not my only friend. No one person can fill every need in my life, and one of the nicest things he's ever done for me is to push me to make new friends, and maintain those relationships appropriately.

Happy Anniversary to us. We Stick Together.

Miscellaneous Monday

Monday, April 1, 2013

Get thee to the country, go

On Friday the Smart Man and I drove out to Northeastern Colorado to visit our favorite Auntie and Uncle at their "country estate." We try to get up there at least a couple times a year, as we love spending time with them, and it also gives us a chance to see my Fabulous Great Auntie Margie, her daughter and her son-in-law, who are all fabulous people. Also? They have some pretty spectacular sunsets in that part of the country.


Of course, no visit to the country would be complete without subjecting the local chicken population to a visit from whichever Metal Chicken is in residence. This is Enrique Inglesias, hanging with the ladies, while Woodrow (an actual rooster) looks on suspiciously. Enrique belongs to my Auntie, and the last time he visited the chickens he scared the crap out of all of them. This visit was a bit more successful, but they still got flustered and ran away once the chow was gone.


Back on the bandwagon

You know what really sucks about traveling? My apparent inability to eat appropriately when I'm on the road, which leads to my eating inappropriately when I'm home. As a result I've lost some ground in my quest to maintain my weight at a healthy level. The good news is that my last physical revealed that I'm in the best metabolic health of my life, so I've got that going for me. The bad news is that I'm toting some extra fat that needs to be get thee gone. So it's back on the bandwagon for me. Again.

Irony, you suck

I've been feeling a bit restless lately. I suspect it's because I've been home for several weeks in a row, rather than jetting all over the country for the Military Industrial Complex. I guess you rally can get used to anything. But it's depressingly ironic that I'm not a huge fan of business travel, but now I'm "restless" when I'm not required to be on the road at least once a month. Stupid irony.