Happy Birthday, Great Auntie Margie!

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Today is my Fabulous Great Aunt Margie's birthday. She's 93 years old today, and still sharp.

This year I had the opportunity to visit with her on her special day, as we had breakfast with her this morning.*

Please join me in wishing her a very happy day. She's a wonderful person, and I love her.



*I am required to document here that the next time we're in town and have a meal with her, I will allow her to pick up the check with no argument. Although I may be allowed to get the tip. Because no one should have to pay for their own breakfast on their birthday, and that's just how we roll in this family.

Link Me Up, Scotty - Glass (mostly) Half-Full Edition

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

For those of us who tend to have strong opinions about vaccinations (the greatest medical achievement in the history of the world) and herd immunity: Herd immunity explained with zombies. There is nothing not to love in this comic.
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The 2014 Summer Youth Olympics ends tomorrow, and these world class athletes are as dedicated and disciplined as their adult counterparts.
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A retired Judge has been sentenced to 30 years in prison because he was "selling" defendants in his courtroom to for profit corporations who own and operate prisons. He took over $1M in exchange for his "tough on crime" attitude and sentencing practices. Hopefully they'll put his sorry ass in Gen Pop. It's the least he deserves.
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EM2 Bud Cloud, formally of the USS DEWEY, Pearl Harbor survivor, got to visit his shipmates on  the new USS DEWEY one last time before passing away in Hospice care two weeks later. The current crew of the Dewey treated him right, and then sent him off shipshape and Bristol fashion after his death.

I am so very proud of my brothers and sisters-in-arms for making this such an awesome event for EM2 Cloud and his family. Bravo Zulu, shippies.
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Video of the Week: Nickel Creek giving a Tiny Desk Concert at NPR's All Songs Considered. They have a new album out this year after a seven year hiatus. I'll always take more Nickel Creek. Especially when there's lots of mandolin involved.


An Imperative of Citizenship

Monday, August 25, 2014
Over the last several days, I've seen this graphic on social media:


I find the message of this graphic profoundly disturbing.

I served this country in uniform for over half my adult life. My father served in the Armed Forces and later became a Deputy Sheriff. My family has a long tradition of service, and I respect my brothers and sisters in arms for the work they do and the risks they take on our behalf.

And yet, I judge them. 

Not only do I judge them, but I judge them more stringently than I would other professionals. The fact that these men and women put themselves between us and the barbarians at the gate means they are to be held to a higher standard, not a lesser one. There is nothing less seemly than an armed servant of the people assuming the mantle of entitled authority.

It's unseemly because members of the Armed Forces or Law Enforcement serve the citizens they protect. An assumption that the simple fact of their authority should naturally mean an obligation for citizens to obey them without question - whether their directions are lawful or not - automatically makes the relationship adversarial. It mistakes fear for respect. And it eliminates the possibility that community safety can be a joint endeavor, and not an "us versus them" scenario.

Let's make no mistake here: I support my brothers and sisters in arms. I understand the stresses of their jobs, and the danger they are exposed to every day. I believe that the vast majority are ethical human beings who take their responsibility and their duty seriously, and represent their organizations in the best possible way. I believe they should be paid more, receive full benefits, and know in their hearts that they and their families will be taken care of in case they're injured or killed in the line of duty. It's the right thing to do.

What I don't believe is that they should not be held to the highest standards while performing their duties. War and policing are no joke - they require a dedication few humans possess, and leave those who serve with an understandable pride in their choice. This is the pride of professionals, not amateurs. And professionals should expect, they should demand, that members of their select group be worthy of that pride. That means when someone exhibits poor judgement or illegal behavior that results in the injury or death of the citizens they are sworn to protect, they MUST be held accountable. They must be investigated by a neutral third party, and if innocent, returned to full duty with a clean slate. If guilty they must accept the consequences, whether it's being reduced in rank, losing their job, or going to prison.

And my status as a veteran and police family member does not give me the right to judge them in this way. It certainly informs my opinion, but the right to judge comes from the simple fact that I'm a citizen of this country, living here legally. The police and the Armed Forces are accountable to me, and to all of us. They are representatives of the government, and so must operate only with the consent of the governed.

I'm a pasty white middle aged suburbanite whose worst legal infraction is speeding and failing to stop completely at stop signs. And yet I, too, am scared of the police. I'm afraid that some innocent behavior on my part will be interpreted as aggressive, and a negative result will follow. If that's how I feel I can't imagine how people of color view these authority figures.

So judging the behavior of the Armed Forces and Law Enforcement isn't just "allowed" in this country. It's an imperative of citizenship, and a safeguard against the corrupting influence of power. The only people who should be afraid of police are criminals. There's no reason why the rest of us should have to view the police as "dangerous animals," as Brother Eric explains. It's unseemly. It's unprofessional. 

I recently saw a YouTube video filmed three years ago of British Bobbies subduing a man on the street who was wielding a machete. They did so without the use of firearms, as is their process and tradition. The description of the event:
Angry man armed with machete is taken down eventually after taunting police by over 30 police officers with riot shields. According to the story he'd been CS gassed (pepper spray) and was still going strong.

Seems a little over kill to me. Then again this isn't America where they'd just open fire on him.
And we're a "civilized" country.

What a shame.

Basenji Blogging Friday - The Sun is Warm Edition

Friday, August 22, 2014
What? I'm vitamin D deficient.
I've known a lot of dogs in my life. And of all those dogs, I've never met a dog who took such pleasure in being outside in the sunshine.

Jax asks to go outside often. But 4 out of 5 times it's not because she needs to potty - unlike Boogie the Giant Schnauzer, Jax's kidneys work just fine, thank you very much, and she doesn't need to pee every couple of hours.

No, she asks to go outside because she adores laying in the sun, and rolling around on the grass, and playing with rocks. Yes, I realize that last part is odd. She's an odd dog. And since she doesn't actually chew on them, we take it as just one more idiosyncrasy of a dog who already has an abundance.

Since Jax cannot yet be trusted to be outside by herself, each of these sojourns must be accompanied by a human. In a way that's good, as it gets me away from desk periodically and out of the vortex of misery that is Visio. But left to her own devices, she'd hang out on the lawn all day long. And this is not conducive to me being able to pay the mortgage.

We'll see much she wants to hang outside once it gets colder.

Link Me Up, Scotty

Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Emily Bazelon speaks about what she's learned about calling the police after passing the Bar Exam and covering the law for 20 years as a professional journalist. Hint: When it comes to incidents involving people of color, the answer is often, "Don't."
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Here's 37 pieces of advice from dying people.
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Here's an essay entitled I'm a cop. If you don't want to get hurt, don't challenge me. This piece of thuggery was written by a highly educated LAPD officer named Sunil Dutta. Dr. Dutta believes that the simple fact of his position in Law Enforcement entitles him to tell anyone, at any time, in any circumstance what they must do or be prepared to have violence visited upon them. James Joyner over at Outside the Beltway and Ken White  over at Popehat examine Dr. Dutta's arguments with predictable results.

Dr. Dutta's arguments (and the assumption that police officers can do no wrong, and even if they do, they won't be held accountable so just practice being servile for my enjoyment) make me APOPLECTIC WITH RAGE.
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This heartbreaking photo essay entitled A Mother's Journey gives those of us who have not experienced long term illness and death in a child some insight into their lives and deaths. No wonder it won a Pulitzer.
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Video of the Week: Somehow I missed the 224th Anniversary of the Coast Guard on August 4, 2014. Enjoy this tribute video to my Coast Guard shippies.


Trees and Shrubs and Flowers, Oh, My

Monday, August 18, 2014
A hibiscus, my current favorite
One of things we've learned about the community where our new house is being built is their rules for landscaping. The builder "landscapes" the front and back yard to include river rock borders, a patch of grass, a sprinkler system and one deciduous tree.

This is not sufficient for our new HOA. Depending on the size of the lot, they have very specific requirements as to how many trees you must have, what type, how large they must be at planting, the minimum number of shrubs for both front and back, maximum height at full growth, etc. We're required to submit a "landscaping plan" to the architectural committee for "approval" shortly after we move in, and another plan for every change we make in the landscaping except flower beds.

So I started some research on landscaping firms to see if it would be too costly to hire a service. Surprise, surprise, it IS. I mean, it really is. Especially when we have to hire someone to put up a fence immediately upon moving in, as well.

So one of my projects for the new house is designing the landscaping plan to include all the requirements in the HOA document. Because the sprinkler system won't water these areas, they must be xeriscape. Luckily for me, xeriscaping is a thing in Colorado and the Colorado State University Extension has good information that I can reference.

The only issue is that I have a tendency to kill things on a fairly regular basis. When that happens, I typically rip it up and replace it with something else I hope will survive my neglect. Because of the HOA guidelines, I'll presumably have to submit a "plan" for "approval" every time this happens.

I've been using my home copy of Visio to prepare our initial plan. At least that damnable thing will have some use.


Walking Towards the Light

Friday, August 15, 2014
September 8-13, 2014 is National Suicide Prevention Week. This is a tough week for us, but we're surrounded by friends and family who love and support us in so many ways.

One of the ways people support us is to work toward a better support system for people suffering from depression and other mental illnesses that can lead to suicide. So Sister Stacey and the Superlative JR have volunteered to participate in the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention's Out of the Darkness Walk in honor of our lost, beloved Moe.

They also participated last year in an effort to be part of the solution. As Stacey notes, "From the bottom on my heart, I wish a solution was not necessary. Since that is not the case, I cannot and will not be silent and will do everything in my power to help further the solution."

And so "Maureen's Marchers" will be fundraising and walking once again in an effort to prevent some other family from having to lose a child, parent, sibling or friend to mental illness.

I don't feel up to participating in our local event. Perhaps some day, but not now. So I will donate in Moe's name, and help spread the word.

You can donate on Stacey's fundraising page, and I hope you will.

A Sisterly Conversation

Thursday, August 14, 2014
Context: The Mechanicky Gal needs a hip replacement, and we're also currently planning our Fall visit.


     Me: I think I'll come out to San Diego this time.

     MG: Because of the SIREN SONG OF NANDO'S.*

     Me: It's beckoning me.

     MG: And wouldn't you know it, the fuckin' hip is getting worse day by day (it seems).

     Me: Bleh. We'll get you a motor cart, and you can BLING IT UP.

     MG: OMG.

     Me: WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG.

     MG: I'll make sure I drive it into the heels of assholes.

     Me: I do that with my Fiat.


And THAT'S why it's dangerous for us to be in the same state.

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*Nando's is the local Taco Shop, and I can assure you that eating there is a RELIGOUS EXPERIENCE.

Link Me Up, Scotty - Humanity and Tears Edition

Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Humans of New York is an art project where a photographer takes pictures of random strangers in New York City, and then publishes them on his blog, along with their response to a probing question. I've always liked this project, but in the last weeks I've come to love it even more. The author is on a "U.N. Tour" right now, and is now publishing photographs of people in the Middle East. Unlike the corrupt politicians and frothy zealots, these are just people who are trying to live and work in war-torn countries, and their stories break my heart. I think this project should get a Pulitzer.
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"As a female engineer, I find my working environment to be completely civil and I'm treated with respect at all times," said no female engineer ever. H/T Ellen, my partner in crime.

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In the wake of Robin Williams' suicide, an excellent essay on why the Williams family deserves some damn privacy already. Speaking as a family member who lost a loved one to suicide, the last thing I wanted to hear in the first weeks following Moe's death was judgement on why she chose to end her life and speculation about how she did it. It's none of our business. If people really gave a damn about mental illness in this country, it wouldn't be so hard to get treatment without being stigmatized. So while I'm glad this event has sparked conversation about suicide prevention, the grief of his friends and family is sacred. Let's act like it.
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Do you want to know why this fuckstick's comments are so damn offensive? This is why. I know for a fact that our daughter suffered horribly for months before she decided to take her own life. She held off as along as she could, because she knew people loved her and would be devastated by her loss. So keep your klassy komments to yourself about suicide and cowardice, you sanctimonious turd.  H/T Jen.
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Video of the Week: It's the promotional video for the "Smile, Bitch!" Training Camp. Because really, what could be worse than a man having his day ruined by seeing a woman's unhappy face? NOTHING, THAT'S WHAT. H/T Rivi.


On Robin Williams and Suicide

Tuesday, August 12, 2014
I was sitting on the couch last night, looking at Facebook, when the news started scrolling that Robin Williams had died, an apparent victim of suicide. Tributes to his humor are trending all over the Internet, and it should come as a surprise to no one that this is a triggering event for me.

Robin Williams' representative reported that Robin had been suffering from severe depression for some time, and we all know - depression lies. 

Here's a man who had everything - money, fame, a long successful career. And yet he couldn't manage his depression well enough to save himself from the final lie - the idea that he (and the world) would be better off without him.

While I must respect people's agency in making their own decisions about their life and death, I really don't want to hear about one more child, parent, sibling, or friend taking their own life. Why can't we find a way to help people who suffer from severe depression before it's too late? What is it about this disease that encourages people to shut out those who love them? Why can't we fix this?

I wish to hell I knew.
There are all sorts of different families, Katie. Some families have one mommy, some families have one daddy, or two families. And some children live with their uncle or aunt. Some live with their grandparents, and some children live with foster parents. And some live in separate homes, in separate neighborhoods, in different areas of the country – and they may not see each other for days, or weeks, months… even years at a time. But if there’s love, dear… those are the ties that bind, and you’ll have a family in your heart, forever.  - Mrs. Doubtfire

Link Me Up, Scotty - Booger-Eating Dimwit Edition

Wednesday, August 6, 2014
An excellent article on black women's sexuality and the continuing fight for agency in this group.
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Lego finally gets with the program and makes some girl-specific characters that don't cater to sexist tropes. I myself am partial to the chemist.
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I've just finished reading Kill Anything that Moves: The Real American War in Vietnam, by Nick Turse. This book is deeply disturbing, and reveals just how far down the rabbit hole troops can go in wartime when there's a profound failure of leadership. That's some shameful shit, right there, and not our country's (or our military's) finest hour.
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Once again, an entitled dimwit who draws sexist cartoons has threatened legal action against the feminists who took issue with his "art" and published their criticism on-line. Seriously, Randy Queen. Show some sense and drop it. This will not end well for you, especially if Ken decides to light the Popehat Signal.

I'm reminded of the best advice an attorney can give to their client: Stop talking. No, really - shut the fuck up RIGHT NOW.
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White, Republican, male Congressman Mo Brooks accused Democrats of launching a "War on Whites."  Because everyone knows whites are so underrepresented in positions of power and influence in this country. He then claimed that DREAMers (children of illegal immigrants) should not be allowed to serve in the U.S. Armed Forces, because they're not loyal and would then have access to nukes. Mo Brooks: The nutty gift that keeps on giving. And what does this whackadoodle's performance say about the booger-eating dimwits who voted him into office?
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Video of the Week: a Capella group Pentatonix in their new video, inspired by the release of the latest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.


Defining "A Professional Emergency," a Public Service Announcement

Tuesday, August 5, 2014
As most of you know, I spent some years in the United States Navy. I achieved the rank of Senior Chief Petty Officer, and during my time in service, I discovered what constitutes a real professional emergency:
The following events do not constitute a professional emergency:
  • A support person is unavailable to attend a customer meeting on an unqualified opportunity.
  • Associates who are not "on call" do not respond to your e:mail/text/call at 2:30 a.m.
  • Your colleague does not respond within 5 minutes of you sending a "priority" e:mail.
  • A requirement for technical support on a project that is due two days after you ask for help.
  • A request for six different proposal options on the same opportunity.
  • Your colleague does not make themselves always available via IM.

This has been a Public Service Announcement brought to you by Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men. 

Value in History

Monday, August 4, 2014
Last week I was perusing Humans of New York, and came across a photo with the following narrative:
"What’s been your greatest accomplishment?"

"Keeping in touch with distant friends and relatives."

"Why is that important?"

"It’s important to always have people who remember you at various stages of your life. It’s especially important as you get older, because there are less of those people around. And they remind you who you are."
I thought this was especially insightful, because when you keep in touch with people over the long haul, there's a personal history there that may not be available with newer friends. They've seen you at your best, and at your worst. You can't hide from them and pretend that you've always been this fabulous example of intellect, fortitude and good judgement, because they know better. You may not be that person any more, as everyone grows and changes as they age, but they have a firm grasp on who you were and where you came from.

So Saturday night I attended an annual party for the riding group I belonged to during my childhood and teen years I was somewhat reluctant to go this year, as Moe died shortly after our last reunion, and I wasn't sure I was up for seeing so many people who knew of our tragedy, but whom I hadn't seen since it happened. I had a few "wet eyes" moments, but by and large it was a pleasant experience, and everyone was very kind. A number of these people read this space on a semi-regular basis, and have kept track of my grief journey through my writing here. That makes me feel more connected to my past, and glad that I decided to look back at this particular part of my life.

These experiences are not the same as high school reunions, or making contact with those who peaked in High School, or snickering at how fat the mean girls have become behind our hands. We realized last night that some of us have known each other for 43 years. We haven't been in each others' lives that entire time, but it's easier to reconnect with people who have made progress in their personal growth and left behind the emotional childishness that comes with being a teenager.

I love and cherish my current circle of friends - the UCF, the Mechanicky Gal and Sister Stacey, the Smart Friend & Co., certain colleagues with whom I've remained friends after leaving a particular job. But there's value in recognizing the shared experiences of my old friends as well. They knew me "when," and help me to remember that, as well.