Barbara Ann Comer, May 12, 1949 - August 22, 2015

Friday, August 28, 2015

Barb Comer was my Mother-in-Law - The Smart Man's Mom. She passed on August 22nd, and we had her memorial service yesterday, at the same Funeral Home where we had our daughter's service only two years ago.

I was privileged enough to be able to deliver her eulogy, even though I cried through most of it.

I love you, Barb.


Barb on the Alaskan Cruise we gave her for her 65th birthday. She said it was the best vacation she's ever had.




I’ve known Barb for 15 years. Not nearly as long as some of you, and not nearly long enough.

When I first became part of the family, Barb could not have been more gracious. She made sure I knew I was welcome, and never treated me with anything but the utmost kindness. Getting to know her and her story has been an amazing privilege. 

One of the things I admired about Barb was her incredible perseverance in raising Terry and Tom. She did so basically alone, and worked hard to ensure that even though they lived on the knife’s edge of poverty, her children knew that they were the most important thing in her life. She ensured each of their activities was attended by someone who loved them. She worked a second job so that they could afford to participate in music or soccer. Nothing was too great a sacrifice to ensure she raised happy, healthy adults, who were well-equipped to contribute to the society in which they lived, and pass on her ethos of hard work, self-sacrifice, and love. 

And what an amazing job she did. Her legacy lives on, in the form of Terry and Tom. They grew into fine men, with families.  Both of them exhibit the kind of generosity of spirit and love that she herself personified. Both are leaving a legacy of their own, in the people they care for and who care for them. Barb lives on in them, and in the love of her life, her granddaughter Lily. 

And Barb lives on in me. I know I’m a better person because I knew her. I’m more patient. I’m more kind. I have more empathy for those who don’t think the way I think, and more willingness to see value in what others’ value. And I’m grateful to her for changing me, and expanding my own circle of love.

If the measure of a life is taken by someone’s effect on others, then Barb was an eminently successful human being. She didn’t rock the world with her scientific or cultural accomplishments. She wasn’t famous, or even well-known. Instead she changed the lives of the people around her, one person at a time, making the world a little less mean, a little more kind. And being remembered for that is probably the best legacy of all.

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