Snoozing...On a Sunday Afternoon (With apologies to The Rascals)

Monday, April 6, 2020

During these times of isolation, social media is more important than ever. It's a way for us to share a joke, feel connected, and keep in touch with our friends and family. It gives an avenue to recognize the courage and efforts of those who risk the most to keep our population healthy and happy, namely the medical establishment and people who work in the supply chain. It's a way to share ideas, tips, and recipes while we're all stuck at home.

Unfortunately, it's also a place where people are completely unembarrassed to display their ignorance, nastiness, and general assholery, now more than ever.

Enter Facebook's lovely feature called "Snooze."

This feature allows you to put people in a 30 day time out when their social media presence in your life is just too much. It hides their posts for 30 days, and when it expires, you can then see their content once again, giving you the opportunity to either snooze them again, remove them forever, or read what they post.

I love this feature, and until this pandemic is over, I'm going to be using it with reckless abandon. RECKLESS ABANDON, Y'ALL.

  • You believe 45 has suddenly decided to suspend his pathological need to lie about every fucking thing specifically for this emergency? SNOOZE!
  • You think your high school diploma makes you as qualified as an epidemiologist to discuss how far the disease will spread, and how fast? SNOOZE!
  • You believe that this entire thing - including the U.S.'s lack of sufficient medical supplies and the federal government's late response - is the fault of a President who has been out of office for over three years? SNOOZE!
  • You believe you know more than an infectious disease specialist who has literally spent their entire adult life studying and preparing for this specific emergency? SNOOZE!
  • You think our current President knows more about disease vectors, effective preventative measures, epidemiology, and hospital usage statistics than those who have made the study of such things their life's work? SNOOZE! 
  • You hypocritically attempt to take people to task for criticizing the federal government's response because it's "mean-spirited," but then run right out and post personal attacks and other nastiness on a daily basis? SNOOZE!
  • You are thoroughly convinced your belief in conspiracy theories that would make Chuck Norris blush makes you a qualified intelligence analyst? SNOOZE! 

SNOOZE! SNOOZE! SNOOZE!

I started snoozing yesterday, and today my feed is already less tainted by the Dunning-Kruger Effect and other forms of hypertension-inducing dumbassery. SNOOZE!

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