Of Two Minds

Monday, February 11, 2019
Mind 1: Crap on a cracker. LOOK at all these kids waiting to board the plane to Orlando.

Mind 2: So what? They’re probably off-track and their families are going to Disneywirkd.

Mind 1: But they’re so LOUD.

Mind 2: Quit being such a curmudgeon. They’re just excited. I expect our awesome, awesome niece will also be excited when the extended family goes to Disney World later this year.

Mind 1: Well, yeah. But I like her.

Mind 2: They’re not hurting you, nor are they misbehaving in any way.

Mind 1: Maybe I’ll go join their fathers at the bar.

Mind 2: Maybe you should. You’re harshing my mellow.

Mind 1: You’re so intolerant of my intolerance.

Mind 2: Don’t resort to the Tolerence Paradox with me, woman. I’m not the one who wants to drown kids who kick the back of our seat.

Mind 1: True. You’re the Pollyanna if the group.

Mind 2: You say “Pollyanna,” I say, “Purveyor of common human decency and kindness.”

Mind 1: Oh, that.

Mind 2: Yes, that. Bitch.

Mind 1: Whatever. You can’t tell me you enjoy flying with kids. Seen and not heard and all that.

Mind 2: We’ll, I don’t mind it, per se. It just depends on how tired and anxious I am.

Mind 1: Story of our lives, sister.

Mind 2: You said it. Let’s just try and enjoy their excitement, shall we?

Mind 1: Pollyanna.

Mind 2: Bitch.