Surgery Today
My Smart Man took the day off to be my caregiver. We love him for that, but I'm still not looking forward to the procedure. And of course my insurance won't pay for any of the costs...but will pay for dentures. I don't get that - they'll pay for the temporary solution that results in other medical problems such as bone loss, but they won't pay for the permanent solution. So this will be out of pocket...and maxillofacial surgeons do not work cheap. Not that I blame them - since they're both MD's and DDS's, they're in school and residency forever. If I had to go to school until I was 35 before I could start my career, I'd be charging whatever I wanted, if only to pay off the student loans.
So wish me luck. I probably won't be back to blogging until tomorrow. Since my surgeon has prescribed Darvocet for the pain, when I do come back, you'll probably be treated to such stunning intellectual revelations as "The Ice Capades are cool," and "My dog is fuzzy!" I'm sure you can't wait for that.
What the Fuck is Wrong With These People? - Human Trafficking
You probably think, "Surely human trafficking isn't a problem here in the good ole U.S. of A.? Human rights and freedoms are a priority here!" Well, it turns out, not so much.
The U.S. Central Intelligence Agency estimates that 50,000 people are trafficked into or transited through the U.S.A. annually for sex slaves, domestics, garment and agricultural slaves. When the scumbags are caught, our ultra-compassionate government agencies often treat the slaves as criminals themselves, seeing as how they're all illegal alieny and everything.
According to the Trafficking in Persons Report, issued in June 2007, men, women and children are bought and sold, or forced into indentured servitude for the purposes of domestic service, forced child labor, child soldiers, sex trafficking and prostitution, children exploited for commercial sex, and child sex tourism all over the world. The following countries are defined by the Trafficking in Persons Report as "Tier 3" countries, or countries that have failed to make significant efforts to bring itself into compliance with with the minimum standards for the elimination of trafficking in persons as defined by the Trafficking Victims Protection Act: Algeria, Bahrain, Burma, Cuba, Equatorial Guinea, Iran, Kuwait, Malaysia, North Korea, Oman, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, Syria, Uzbekistan and Venezuela.
According to the Not For Sale Campaign, a nonprofit dedicated to ending human trafficking, children and women are being sold on Craigslist. On Craigslist.
What the fuck is wrong with these people?
What the fuck is wrong with us that we continue to have fabulous foreign relations with countries such as Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, and Bahrain, who are so clearly contemptuous of human rights and dignity? Actually I know that answer to that question, and it disgusts me. We can't let a little thing like buying and selling human beings interfere with our unfettered access to the crude, after all. Especially since those uppity Iraqis refuse to settle down and act right.
But what the fuck is wrong with us that we allow people to be bought and sold on Craigslist?
I've been trying to think of some karmic justice that's appropriate for the perpetrators of these crimes, and my imagination is failing me. I was thinking of forced labor pumping crude oil by hand in the deserts of Saudi Arabia, Kuwait or Bahrain, followed by visitation with a prisoner named "Guido," but somehow that just doesn't do the trick. Help me out, here, Hot Chicks and Smart Men - I need some creative justice for these asshats.
A Friend's Experience
**********
Today I ran into someone I hadn't seen for years, and instantly the guilt came barreling back.
When I was in high school and during the start of college I spent my summers babysitting three girls. They were adopted, after having been taking from a physically abusive home, where their mother had a succession of live-in boyfriends, few of whom treated the girls well,most of whom treated the girls as their mother did.
After their mother lost custody, they moved from foster home to foster home, until they were finally adopted by a couple we went to church with, who already had one daughter, five years younger than me.
The two youngest girls had the most problems. In retrospect, I'd say that the middle girl had learning disabilities as well as attention disorders. The youngest was just a bundle of hyperactive energy who had a knack for getting herself in trouble. The eldest had been mother to the other two for most of their lives, and was far more serious and grown-up than any child her age should have been.
They were also a joy to be around. Don't get me wrong, they were exhausting. The middle girl was starved for affection, and would cling to me at random times. And the youngest, well, she'd just run me into the ground with her unlimited energy and capacity for fulfilling Murphy's Law.
But most importantly, I loved these girls. Despite everything, they were very affectionate, even the oldest, once she came to trust me. And even when they were driving me crazy, they were still joyful and happy and trusted me implicitly.
I remember one late summer afternoon, the four of us were sitting together on the porch, watching a terrific storm roll in. The middle girl was scared of thunder and lightening, but she curled up next tome anyway, preferring to be with us, rather than alone in the house. The youngest curled up on the other side, because she could. Suddenly,the wind shifted, and we were being pelted with hail, and so ran squealing into the house, where we moved to a large window to watch the hail from inside.
Despite their wariness and even fear of the storm, the trusted me to keep them safe, and so were willing to take a chance if I told them they would be okay.
My second year in college I had one last stint caring for them. Their parents went away on a trip, so I stayed out the house with them, taking a week off from my food service job, and leaving only to go to classes (I must have skipped my night class, that week, because I always had night classes). It was then I first started to realize that something wasn't quite right.
There was nothing I could put my finger on, but at times it seemed as if they believed I was the only one who truly loved them and cared about them--who accepted them as they were for who they were.
Unfortunately, they were right.
I mentioned this to the parents when they returned home, couching in a manner that I was concerned because they felt that their older (and perfect) sister didn't love them at all, and I was worried about how this was affecting them.
After that, I was never asked to babysit again. Which is just as well,because my life took a turn that would not have made me a good model for young children anyway. But still I thought about them, and was always glad to see them when I went to church with my parents.
Years later, I began to put things together--there were always a lot of beer bottles in the sink every single morning--four two eight,which even then struck me as a lot for two people to drink every day.But they were grown-ups, so what did I know. Maybe, I thought, I'd drink a six-pack of beer every day when I was all grown up.
But it was the things the middle girl said that bothered me--even then. For instance, one summer her parents demanded that because she had done so badly the previous year in school, she must repeat ALL her classwork over the summer, thus spending her days shut in her room,while every other second grader in the area ran and played out side,or watched cartoons, or went to the pool, or did any of the things that second graders do.
Looking back now, I see this as terribly wrong. The girl obviously had one or more learning disabilities, may even had some brain damage from abuse she suffered previously, yet instead of sending her to a tutor or learning academy, she was forced to sit in her room and simply redo worksheets and homework, to her parent's satisfaction. But they were adults--with advanced degrees!--they must obviously know something I didn't I presumed. And so I said nothing. I was just a teenager. What did I know?
Over the following years I heard gossip and stories about how the girls were doing, and almost every story had the sentiment, "it's such a shame." I heard rumors that various teachers and neighbors had called Child Protective Services, however, because they were not being physically abused, CPS simply didn't have the manpower to look into the case.
And I began to wonder--should I have put things together when I was watching them years earlier? Would anyone have listened to me if I had reported my vague uneasiness about the situation in the house? Almost certainly not. Who would listen to a seventeen year old over a professor and a lawyer?
And so the girls grew up, and I realized that I--who had been one of the few people they inherently trusted--had been cut out of their lives. I do not believe there was anything I could have done at that time to make things better (I went through a terrible bout of depression soon after). Yet still, would their lives had been different if I had been able to do something?
Today I saw the oldest. She is getting her second degree--nursing. She had a degree in Social Work, but left because she felt the system wouldn't let her accomplish anything.
"I'm so sorry," I told her. "I feel like I should have known--should have done something for you."
"It's okay," she told me. "You were young. How would you have known?" I asked her how her sisters were, and she said they had lost touch.The middle had made multiple poor choices, including having several children and letting their adoptive parents adopt her babies. This,she told me, she simply could not accept. Her sister's children were treated just as badly as she and her sisters had been, but because the parents have power of a sort, no one seems interested in hearing a word against them.
And thus I know that two lives were ruined, but I also know that there truly was nothing I could have done about it.
I take solace in the fact that she has grown up, gotten a college degree, is raising two children, and despite everything, wants to join a second field where she can help people.
And she doesn't blame me.
Because They're Good, Good Dogs
Yay, Poochies!
Lieutenant Commander Richard Jadick
Lieutenant Commander Richard Jadick is a Navy Reserve doctor. A Urologist, in fact. He's stationed at Camp Lejeune, NC, and had very little emergency medicine experience when he deployed to Iraq.
But when Operation Phantom Fury begun, all he could see were the Marines he was there to treat, and insisted on moving his field hospital closer to the wounded...and the action. He and his corpsmen treated wounded marine after wounded marine, while the bullets, shrapnel and rocket propelled grenades dropped all around them. Was he afraid? You bet. Gut-wrenchingly afraid. He said "The only thing that kept me going was the other fear: the fear of failing everybody who was out there."
What a novel idea...dedication to duty, and a willingness to put oneself in harm's way for the benefit of others.
LCDR Jadick was awarded the Bronze Star with a Combat "V" for his actions during that operation. LCDR Jadick downplays his role in the operation, continuously mentioning that it was a team effort, and that his corpsmen were in just as much danger as he was. I am absolutely certain that's true, and those individuals deserve recognition for their actions. But LCDR Jadick exercised leadership, and that matters. His example allowed his corpsmen to be their very best selves in a time of intense stress and fear, and his leadership resulted in many wounded Marines being alive today.
So LCDR Jadick, thank you for your service, and I am proud to have worn the same uniform as you. Non sibi sed patriae.
Making Up Your Mind
This got me to thinking...what would I want if I was to get hit by a bus tomorrow?
Well, there's the obvious stuff - I want my kids to be taken care of, and I've taken steps to ensure that happens. I want my Smart Man to be able to take care of my personal business without a lot of hassle, and I've also taken steps on this front. My Smart Man knows my wishes regarding the disposition of my body. But how do I want to be remembered?
I can say with certainty that I don't want the flowers and teddy bear experience. Not that so many people will know or care when the bus comes a-calling, but on a normal-person scale, that's not the legacy I want.
So attention, friends and family. When my bus comes looking for me, please don't spend any money on ceremony or services. Instead, please take the money you would of spent on flowers and funeral clothes and donate it to a charity that you feel would speak to me. In case you need a few suggestions, try Room to Read, Kiva, or Heifer International. Because that's a legacy I could get behind.
First Annual International Hijack™ Day
Here are the rules for the First Annual International Hijack™ Day:
- Do not respond to my post in my own thread. Go to one of the other participant's blogs and respond there.
- Do not respond to other participants in their own threads. Go to one of the other participant's blogs and respond there.If you're responding to a comment in a thread, do it somewhere else.
- If one of the participants has failed to put up a Hijack™ Day post, Hijack their most recent thread with your non-sequiter comments. Serves 'em right, I say.
- Creative flaming and name-calling are hereby deemed most welcome during the 24-hour playing period.
- If you want to paticipate and your blog is not on this list, contact the participants via comments with a link to your blog, and we'll modify our entries to include you.
- On-topic responses in the same thread will be met with the Shovel of Doom™
The players, in no particular order:
- Polybloggimous
- Who Am I To Say?
- Random (But Not Really)
- Smug Puppies
- The Blog of Siram
- Stonekettle Station
- Anne's Public Storage Space
- The Brain of Shawn
- Snavely's Web Log
Now that the logistics are established, here is my contribution to the chaos:
Which of the presidential candidates is the biggest Freeze-Dried Whack-a-Loon, and why? Remember, creativity will be rewarded, and lame-o contributions will be flamed.
Obama Wins South Carolina
Since I've recently decided to support Senator Obama, I consider this a good thing.
Super-Duper Tuesday is ten days away, and for the first time, Colorado will be participating via the precinct caucus. I've never been to a caucus before, mostly because Colorado was so far down on the primary calendar, it didn't matter. I've identified my caucus location, and barring some stunning revelation, I've decided who to vote for.
I'm also considering volunteering to be an election judge for Election Day. Because democracy is made of Teh Awesome, and I have a few vacation days to burn.
Yay, democracy.
Ladies' Night Out
"Mirabella has partnered with the Hilton Garden Inn Denver South to offer Ladies' Night Out-an exciting day and night of pampering and relaxation. Come experience a Neck, Back & Shoulder Massage, a Mirabella Manicure, and a Mini Facial. Enjoy a glass of wine and appetizers with your girlfriends and catch up on life! Continue the fun at the Hilton with deluxe hotel accommodations, full breakfast buffet, champagne in the guest room, and complimentary shuttle to and from the spa."
Well, today's the day. After I get a few things done this morning, I'll be heading over to the Hilton with my gal-pals for our afternoon and evening of fun and well-mannered frivolity. Our Smart Men will be meeting us later in the evening, so the Smart Boy and Boogie the Giant Schnauzer will be on their own tonight.
In Memoriam - Dr. Judah Folkman
For those who have never heard of him, Dr. Folkman was the father of angiogenesis research. Angiogenesis is a physiological process involving the growth of new blood vessels from pre-existing vessels, and Dr. Folkman believed that cancerous tumors required this process in order to grow.
When he first proposed this idea in the 1970's, he was roundly pooh-poohed by the scientific community, with scientists "laughing in the corner" or excusing themselves to go to the restroom when he would speak at scientific meetings. His science eventually won over his critics, and today angiogenesis has spawned an entire field of research, and has led to additional treatment options for cancer patients.
I heard of Dr. Folkman by watching a Nova program on his work in 2001. While I've never met the man, and have no opinion on him as an individual, people who have report that he is humble, courteous and gracious. And very, very persistent. A perfect example of an innovative idea, initially dismissed, proven to be correct by rigorous scientific experimentation.
Dr. Folkman once said, "You have to think ahead. Science goes where you imagine it." Thank goodness for Dr. Folkman's imagination. He will be missed.
Who Cares? Magazine, Volume 2, Issue 4
"If You Were Born Between 1923 and 1968..."
In this case, however, something caught my attention. It was one of those life insurance commercials where you "can't be turned down for ANY REASON." What caught my attention was the opening gambit - "If you were born between 1923 and 1968..."
I was born between 1923 and 1968, and it inspired the following conversation between me and my Smart Man:
Janiece: [aghast] Did you hear that??
Smart Man: What?
J: [horrified] What the hell do they mean, "If you were born between 1923 and 1968?"
SM: [starts to chuckle]
J: [appalled] I am way too young to be eligible for "you can't be turned down" life insurance!
SM: [starts to shake with suppressed laughter]
J: That is just so wrong. On so many levels.
SM: [continues to shake with laughter, possibly inducing a hernia]
J: You're going to hurt yourself if you don't settle down. And it would serve you right.
SM: [shakes head, still shaking with laughter, burying his face in his hand]
J: You think this is funny, but it's not.
SM: Oh, it is. It really is. You're just so...outraged.
It may help to know that my Smart Man was not born between 1923 and 1968.
Stupid commercial. Stupid life insurance.
What Do You Know
I still think Tom Tancredo is a Dumb Ass, but yesterday I received this e:mail from one of my Senators, Ken Salazar:
"Dear Janiece:
Thank you for contacting me. I appreciate hearing from you.
Like you, I was shocked and dismayed to learn the Pentagon sent a number of wounded veterans notices stating they would have to return all or a portion of their enlistment bonuses to the Army because their tour of duty had been cut short by serious injury. Such a policy is callous and illogical.
To their credit, Army officials have recognized this and stated that, henceforth, soldiers who are injured or become ill while on active duty may keep all enlistment bonuses they are owed. Moreover, the Senate took steps to protect enlistment bonuses by unanimously passing the Wounded Warrior Bonus Equity Act, which mandates that the DoD may not withhold or demand repayment of enlistment bonuses from a veteran who sustained injuries while on active duty. This bill currently awaits action in the U.S. House of Representatives.
Again, thank you for contacting me. Please rest assured that I will remain a strong advocate for America’s veterans in the U.S. Senate.
Sincerely,
Ken Salazar
United States Senator"
What do you know.
What the Hell is Wrong with Us?
Once again, I'm embarrassed by my government's lack of honor and apparent inability to Do The Right Thing.
Attention, State Department! You're being OBTUSE and IRRESPONSIBLE. These people have risked everything to help us. Don't you think we owe them the opportunity to start a new life here in the U.S.?
Grr.
Shawn Appreciation Society
Shawn is Shawn Powers, a regular guy living a regular life in the wilds of Michigan. I met him over at John Scalzi's Whatever, where he distinguished himself as a courteous, intelligent poster.
Then, due to a bit of silliness over at Stonekettle Station, we decided to form the "Shawn Appreciation Society," mainly because we're bored and don't have enough to do, but also because Shawn really is a great guy and made of Teh Awesome.
So today we'll regale you with our virtual band, the Collaborating Founders, and indulge in tasty, low-cal, low-fat virtual food (because Shawn is trying to lose a few pounds).
Feel free to leave your favorite "Shawn is made of Teh Awesome" story in the comments section, so that on days when he's feeling crappy he can refer back for a much-needed morale booster.
My own story involves Shawn providing me with the sound effect for my Shovel of Doom™ - *TONG*. I love my sound effect.
Additionally, Shawn appears to be a genuinely nice man. I like that in a person.
Oh, Will Smith, I am So Disappointed
He evidently decided that his wrap present for his last gig would be Scientology church vouchers for personality tests at your nearest Scientology center.
Oh, Will. I really like you and Jada. Please don't turn into a taller, darker, more charming version of that freak-of-nature, Tom Cruise. I just couldn't take it if my favorite sci-fi action movie of all time Independence Day was ruined forever by some scary video of you, with feverish fervor, professing your belief in Engrams and the divinity of L. Ron.
Please...say it ain't so.
We Wants it, Precious
Then my Smart Boy had his accident. Then I found out the oral surgery I need to have at the end of the month will cost more than I had anticipated, and none of it is covered by my insurance. Then I had to take Boogie the Giant Schnauzer to the vet for hip X-Rays that came out to $450.00. Don't you love unexpected expenses? And it's only January 21st.
So it looks like I'll have to wait to buy my Bass and the required amplifier and other accessories.
I'm not very good at delaying gratification. We wants it, precious.
Conversations with Karma - Joe Taylor
Joe Taylor: Mount Blanco Fossil Museum, Digging up facts of God's Creation, one fossil at a time, How May I Save You Today?
Karma: Yes, may I speak to Joe Taylor? This is Karma.
JT: This is Joe, God Bless me. Karma who?
K: No last name. Just Karma. The eastern idea that you will receive your punishment or reward for your deeds. You know...what comes around goes around, people get what they deserve? Karma.
JT: Is that in the Bible? If it's not, then I'm sure it's not true, and I don't believe it.
K: That's okay. Believing in me or not doesn't change my efficacy.
JT: We don't cotton to using that kind of language around here! We're doing GOD'S WORK.
K: Um, okay. Sorry about that. Listen, I'm calling you personally because I think my karmic work in your case is so spectacular, it really justifies personal communication.
JT: We're doing GOD'S WORK here. Heathen.
K: Yes, technically I'm a heathen, but that's not really the point.
JT: That's always the point.
K: You're a bit single-minded, aren't you? Back to my karmic work. I know you're having some financial trouble, and I've decided to help you resolve it so that you can continue with your "work."
JT: Praise God!
K: Probably not. The way to save your "museum" is to sell something of value currently owned by the museum. Like Lone Star, the worlds largest four tusk mastodon skull.
JT: But, but...that's the museum's prize exhibit! We have countless hours invested! We even put an LED in the brain case!
K: We all have to make sacrifices, Joe. It's the only way to save your "work."
JT: Well, okay...
K: Now comes the best part. Hee! The only folks who can really pony up the kind of cash required to meet your goals are organizations who hire actual scientists with real credentials, as opposed to having Curators who went to Art School. Although I have to admit, that does sort of fit into your whole "Creation" motif.
JT: I'm not sure what you're getting at. I don't see what education and credentials have to do with THE TRUTH.
K: Well, Joe, THE TRUTH is that if you want to get the kind of money that this piece is worth, you're going to have to advertise it to the scientific community, with the actual scientific age noted. Otherwise it just won't bring the kind of cash you need.
JT: OBVIOUSLY, the skull can't be more than 6,000 years old. Because before that, there was no substance or form...or something like that.
K: Yes, well, that's why it's called irony. And that's why I'm so very good at my job. You see, out of one side of your mouth, you'll have to keep protesting that the earth is only 6,000 years old, and out of the other, you'll have to claim the fossil is 40,000 years old in order to sell it for the money you need. Isn't that beautiful? I really think this is some of my best work, don't you?
*click*
K: Joe? You there? No? Oh, well. I'm off to go visit Senator Craig. I never get tired of talking to him.
Jeff Beck Tal Wilkenfeld Bill Murray Crossroads 07 Chicago
Tal Wilkenfeld is my new favorite bassist. Her freshman CD, "Transformation," is a really excellent jazz CD, available on iTunes.
The Shovel of Doom™
In general, I welcome comments from anyone on any topic. I don't care if you agree with me or not - in fact, having a stable of spider-eating man-bitches comment on all my posts is boring. I really enjoy a good debate on controversial topics, provided the participants don't act like a bunch of dumb-asses. And that pretty much sums up my "rule" for posting on my blog:
Don't Be a Dumb-Ass.
If you have an opinion to express, please do so in a courteous and respectful manner.
If your opinion involves an assertion of an other-than-supernatural nature, please ensure you either have the credibility to express your opinion (i.e., an MD discussing a medical procedure), or you provide a verifiable reference for the information you're asserting is the "truth."
If your opinion involves an assertion of a supernatural nature, please recognize that the gallery has no obligation to take your assertion as "true" just because you say it is.
When expressing your opinion, please do so in a logical manner and refrain from using the standard logical fallacies to prove your point. If you have any confusion as to what constitutes logical fallacies or bad argument, please see Michael Shermer's Why People Believe Weird Things, Chapter 3, "How Thinking Goes Wrong: Twenty Five Fallacies That Lead Us to Believe Weird Things," available through Google Book Search or Amazon.
I believe most of the regulars here at Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men already abide by these rules. I also believe anyone who engages in dumb-assery will be roundly spanked by the gallery without any prompting from me.
However, first time trolls will be gently spanked, and referred to this entry. If the trollage continues, the comment will be deleted, and the perpetrator will receive this sound effect:
*TONG*
This sound represents me smacking the perpetrator in the face with my Shovel of Doom™.
Spammers, of course, will be summarily deleted and smacked.
Don't make me take out the Shovel of Doom™.
Who Cares? Magazine, Volume 2, Issue 3
Good News On Both Sides of the Debate
And Oh Yeah, Those Other Guys Won, Too
The one that excited me the most was the 2007 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine. It was jointly awarded to Mario R. Capecchi, Martin J. Evans and Oliver Smithies for "their discoveries of principles for introducing specific gene modifications in mice by the use of embryonic stem cells." From the public information: "This year's Nobel Laureates have discovered how to use embryonic stem cells to create precise and permanent genetic changes in mice. The mice generated in this manner are known as 'knockout mice' because the change can lead to elimination ('knock-out') of a gene function." How cool is that?
And to quote Family Guy, "Why are we not funding this?"
Thanks, Doctors Capecchi, Evans and Smithies, for your diligence in helping us live longer, healthier lives. You guys rule.
The Inevitable - It's Happened
So I called the tow truck to pick up the car at the school and tow it to the dealership for repair. I don't know how much it's going to cost to fix - I'm waiting on an estimate.
Poor kid. The first accident is always a trauma, even when there's nothing you could of done to prevent it. At least he wasn't hurt, even if he was shook up a bit.
Such is the way of first year drivers. That's why he has a Hooptie.
Public Shame
Andrew Cuomo, the Attorney General of NY, called Barack Obama's political style "shuck and jive." Tries to salvage the situation by claiming he meant to say "bob and weave." I tend to think of this as a Freudian slip. Anything you want to tell us, Andrew?
Mike Nifong, the disbarred NC District Attorney who so ineptly tried to prosecute Duke Lacrosse players on charges of rape, has filed for bankruptcy. Popular opinion seems to be that he has done so to shield himself from the lawsuits filed by the players. "'This looks like a smart move for Mr. Nifong,' said Charles Tatelbaum, a Florida lawyer who has represented doctors who filed for bankruptcy to shield themselves from lawsuits. 'This stops all the cases against him so he doesn't have to pay legal fees if he doesn't have insurance.'" So it wasn't bad enough that he tried to railroad these young men in an attempt to feed his own ambition, now he's trying to get out of the natural consequence of his actions. Grow up, Mike.
Colorado State Representative Douglas Bruce kicked reporter Javier Manzano during the traditional morning prayer on the House floor for taking a photograph. Mr. Bruce's response was to say, "I think that's the most offensive thing I've seen a photographer do in 21 years. If people are going to cause a disruption during a public prayer, they should be called for it. He owes an apology to the House and the public." Umm...Doug? Are you high? You're a public official, and you physically assaulted a member of the press who was doing his job (Mr. Manzano was there to cover Mr. Bruce's swearing in). Maybe you've been spending too much time with Ted Haggard. You're both from Colorado Springs, you're both evangelicals, you both seem to have a tenuous grasp on what constitutes acceptable behavior. Hmm.
These offenses don't really rate an entry in the What the Fuck is Wrong With These People, but seriously, what are they thinking?
The Society of Boob Tube Babes™
On the second Friday of every month, you can find me and my local female relatives at the monthly meeting of The Society of Boob Tube Babes.™ Ostensibly a movie club, the agenda is supposed to involve watching a movie and eating tasty food that is selected by one of the "Boobs." We take turns selecting, going in alphabetical order. In reality, we rarely watch the movie although it's on, as we're usually too busy chatting, laughing and eating. And that's okay with us, because visiting, giggling and eating is really the point of the whole thing. Outlying Boobs are always welcome if they happen to be in town, and are referred to as "Boobs at Large." Our most fabulous men are referred to as "Boob Dudes." Did I mention my family is a bit strange?
My family is also something of a matriarchy, mostly because so many of us have such astoundingly bad taste in men until we're about 30. As a result, we tend to follow our heritage down the female line. We've been doing BTB for about 3 or 4 years, and we all look forward to it. We're actually pretty organized, with each member having a Tiara, a Scrapbook, a Tote bag and also (forthcoming) BTB T-Shirts. We also have by-laws, which I'm reprinting here with permission, all rights reserved:
The By-Laws of the Boob Tube Babes™
I. The Grand Boo-Bah doesn’t care about shit.
II. You may only be a Boob if you are your own boss.
a. Nipples have no status.
b. You cannot beg and boss at the same time. Therefore, Nipples will only be considered for full Boob status when they stop begging.
III. Membership in the “Boob Tube Babes” is by invitation only.
a. Relation by blood, marriage, or choice to a Boob in good standing is enough to earn consideration for inclusion, but full Boob status must be approved by existing membership.
IV. Demotion from Boob Status to Nipple status may be imposed by the general membership.
a. Reasons for demotion include, but are not limited to:
i. A propensity to beg (see by-law IIb).
ii. Failure to dutifully care for minor children and pets in a generally acceptable manner.
iii. Failure to dutifully push said minor children out of the nest when appropriate.
V. Members-at-Large of the Boob Tube Babes are automatically included in any Boob-related activity whenever logistics permit.
VI. A Boob in good standing shall be mandated to provide full support, of whatever sort is needed, to any other member, regardless of station, at any time said support is required to meet the challenges of living.
VII. A Boob behaving like an ass shall be pulled up short by the others and told of such behavior; with the understanding that the offender may tell said "others" to kiss off, with no grudges held on either side.
VIII. All Boob Tube Babes Monthly meetings will include the following agenda:
a. A movie (which we may or may not watch, depending on how much chatting is required)
i. The Boob Tube Babes Meeting Hostess with the Mostest will have veto power over the selected movie, up to and including the banishment of “Napoleon Dynamite,” and other works of the Devil.
b. Food (which we will always eat – there’s never an excuse for not eating tasty food)
c. Attire for such meeting will the official “Boob Tube Babes” T-Shirt with accompanying Tiara.
d. Children under the age of six will be permitted to attend at the sole discretion of the membership.
IX. What happens at Boob Tubes, stays at Boob Tubes.
X. Boob Tube Babes By-Laws are always open to interpretation by the membership. Any by-law may be temporarily or permanently overturned at the sole discretion of the membership for the sake of our personal convenience, or more importantly, the inconvenience of other, less babalicious mortals.
XI. In the event there is a discussion regarding “boobs”, at no time may any member refer to them as “Jugs, Hooters, Knockers, or Funbags”.
The "Grand Boo-Bah" is my grandmother, who now lives in an assisted living facility in Northeastern Colorado, which she loves. She doesn't like to leave the facility these days, but she's with us in spirit. She's also the source of my family's hotness:
Hubba, hubba.
3 Doors Down - Citizen Soldier
I really like this video. While I realize it's cheesy and emotionally manipulative, I also realize that the National Guard has made more sacrifices for their service in this century than in any other time in our nation's history.
So to this much-maligned branch of service...thank you.
Isn't Management Fun?
As you can tell, I'm not very excited about this quarter. I used to be merely ambivalent about Leadership and Management training, but the Navy beat it out of me. Over the course of my 17 years, I attended 240 hours of leadership training, none of which was acceptable to DU as transfer credit. The other required class is entitled "Leadership."
I can't wait. Really.
And to add insult to injury, these two required texts were $230.00.
I usually try and make the best out of required coursework that I wouldn't otherwise take, but I'm having some trouble finding motivation on this one.
New Intertoobs Trend
And yes, Boogie really is a gud, GUD boi.
Election Anxiety
Which means my primary vote might actually matter this year.
I'm a registered Democrat, not because I have any special love for the Democrats, but because I want some input earlier in the election process. Registering as an independent essentially means you get to choose between Asshat "A" or Asshat "B" in November, with no input as to which Asshat is on the ballot. That's not good enough for me anymore, so when Colorado changed their primaries to Super-Duper Tuesday, I registered as a Democrat.
In the last 20 years, voting for me has increasingly become a necessary chore - more important than doing the laundry, but about as enjoyable. I vote in every election, because I take my franchise seriously, but my interest is entirely related to duty.
Since my first choice in the Democratic field has dropped out of the race , if I had to vote today, I would cast my ballot for Barack Obama. The reasons are many and varied, but suffice it to say that based on what I know today, I think he would do the least amount of damage to our country.
My Smart Man is a registered Republican, and he's having a much harder time. It seems to us that the Democratic field is a bit stronger (or least less offensive) than the Republicans. Huckabee scares us to death (YEC in schools, anyone?), Romney's inconsistent, Giuliani may be a nut job, and McCain's too old. Bleh. He hasn't made up his mind.
What scares us both is the idea that Hillary will win the Democratic nod, and then some equally unappealing Republican will run. Huckabee versus Hillary? The mind boggles.
So I want a Democratic candidate to get the nod that middle America can support in opposition of a Republican Whack-Job. Unfortunately, "anyone but Hillary" seems to fit the bill. I'm scared that if Hillary ends up on the ballot, moderates may vote a whack-job into office simply because they're "not Hillary." That's really not good enough for me. So Obama, I'm behind you. Because if I end up having to write about "President Huckabee" in November, my anxiety may turn into despair.
The Nature of On-Line Relationships
I have to admit I didn't know what to expect when we made our plans. I'm a neophyte when it comes to the whole on-line relationship thing, and I've never made the transition from an on-line to face-to-face relationship. I decided on cautious optimism, and I was pleasantly surprised with the outcome. I love nice surprises. Anne has also posted about the experience here.
All this got me to thinking about the nature of on-line relationships. How well do we really know our on-line "friends?" Is it possible to have a meaningful relationship with someone if all of your interaction is on-line, and you never get a chance to meet face-to-face?
I think the answer is as varied as the people who try and answer it. On the one hand, it's much easier to misrepresent yourself in an on-line relationship than in person - visual cues are missing, and without daily, personal interaction, it's harder to determine what kind of person someone is. There simply isn't enough opportunity for people to show you who they are.
On the other hand, the on-line experience gives us the opportunity to "meet" and get to know people who may have similar experiences, but whom we may never get an opportunity to meet. Take Jim Wright, for example. We've never met, but our shared experiences as Senior NCO's in the Navy give us a foundation on which to build a friendship. I think he's a pretty cool dude, and I'm pretty sure I'd like him just as well in person. However, there is the possibility that he's a secret axe murderer chopping up the tourists for sausage meat up there, and I'd never be the wiser, unless he made the news. (Anything you want to tell us, Jim? Just askin'...)
If both parties are straight-forward individuals, I think lasting friendships can be formed. But because I'm a newbie, I haven't really formed a firm opinion on this topic, and I'm interested in what other people think.
Let's Lighten Up - New Hampshire Primaries
Let's look at our two winners:
On the Republican side, we have John McCain. I used to really respect this guy, not only for his service to his country, but also for his apparent ideals and ability to be true to himself. Plus, he wrote Why Courage Matters, which is a really exceptional effort.
Apparently it was all lip service, though, and when the political chips were down, he decided it was better to toe the party line rather than to continue to support the Torture=Bad position. I guess because Torture only equals Bad if it allows you to be the President. Otherwise, Torture=Naughty.
To me, this is real flip-flopping. As in flip-flopping all over the floor after being electrocuted by an overzealous interrogator.
Plus, the guy is going to be 72 in August. At the end of his first term, he'll be 76, and if he serves two terms, he'll be 80. I'm not really an age bigot, but the average life expectancy for white males in his age group is 66.5. And it's not like the guy has had an easy life, what with all that Naughty Torture between 1967 and 1973.
On the Democratic side, we have Hillary's Machine™. After a third place finish in Iowa, she shed a few tears in order to demonstrate that she's not just, raw, unadulterated ambition, and now here she is in the lead again. Proving once again that voters really are that gullible. Or proving that the Machine™ really is the best that money can buy.
My concerns about Hillary are pretty straightforward, I think - will her raw, unadulterated ambition blind her to making the best decisions she's capable of if she wins the White House? Because, really, the wife of Bill Clinton won't exactly win any prizes for her decision-making acumen, will she?
On the bright side, she's only 60.
Man, are we in trouble, when the nicest thing I can think of to say about my own party's candidate is that she's only 60.
Eenie, Meenie, Minie, Moe...
"Real Skeptical Heroes"
I subscribe to their podcast (of course!), and the link above is to a very short episode called "Real Skeptical Heroes (Internet Debater)." I just love it when Smart People make fun of those who take themselves way too seriously.
Hee!
When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them
"When people show you who they are, believe them." - Maya Angelou
It seems simple, yes? Judge people by their behavior. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Simple.
Right.
In my experience, people will continuously ignore evidence that they personally witness in order to preserve their illusions. Hell, I'm guilty of this myself - learning this lesson on a permanent basis has been one of the great challenges of my life.
Consider these examples:
- A woman is dating a man who is nice to her, but consistently treats service people like shit. The most likely cause? He's a dick. But the woman won't believe that - she'll make excuses.
- A man's mother consistently cuts him down and makes him feel small and worthless. The most likely cause? She's a critical harpy. But the man won't believe that - he'll make excuses.
- A man occasionally gets drunk and smacks his wife around, but is otherwise a "decent guy." The most likely cause? He's a wife-beater. But his wife won't believe that - she'll make excuses.
- A work-mate never seems able to perform their own work, and is constantly asking their co-workers to do their work, or help them because it's an emergency, or bail them out. The most likely cause? She's incompetent, or lazy, or both. But the co-worker doesn't believe that - he'll make excuses.
Why do we refuse to see the evidence of our eyes? Are we so easily swayed by good intentions that we'll ignore months or years of bad behavior on the simple word of the perpetrator that they're really not like that or that they're really trying to do better?
NEWSFLASH!
These people really are dicks, or critical harpies, or wife-beaters, or lazy incompetents.
If someone treats you unkindly, the most likely reason is because they're unkind.
If someone tells a lie, the most likely reason is because they're a liar.
If someone refuses to do their fair share of the work, the most likely reason is because they're a lazy git.
They're not going to change because they say they are. They'll change when they're damn good and ready, and not before. And they may not change at all.
I have a tendency to give people the benefit of the doubt. I give the benefit of the doubt long past the time when there is no more doubt. Maybe because I want to trust, I want to believe people are trying to do the right thing, I want to believe people are basically good. Seems a bit strange for a cynic like me. But it's true.
I'm reminded of a quote from Batman Begins: "...it's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you."
Hang 11 - John Petrucci and Jordan Rudess
I love this CD. It's a live set done by John Petrucci and Jordan Rudess of Dream Theatre, and it really showcases their talent. My Smart Man is a Dream Theatre fan, but for my money, this CD is their best work. Enjoy!
Podcasts, or How I Got Carried Away Again
- Astronomy Cast
- Astronomy.com Podcasts
- Hidden Universe HD: NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope
- Hubblecast HD
- NASACast Video
- NASACast: Space Shuttle and Space Station Video
- NASACast: Universe Video
- National Geographic's Atmosphere
- Nature PBS
- Nova Vodcast PBS
- NPR: Fresh Air
- NPR: Live Concerts From All Songs Considered
- NPR: This I Believe
- Riding With Robots Podcast
- Science Talk: The Podcast of Scientific American
- The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe
- SkyWatch
- Slacker Astronomy Podcast
- Slacker Astronomy Video Podcast
- SPACEGEEK Video
- What's Up in Astronomy
All of these can be found on iTunes.
My problem is that when I subscribe to a new show, I don't just download that week's episode. I feel I have to go back and download every available episode so that I don't miss anything. This has resulted in my currently having 497 episodes sitting in my iTunes, waiting for me to listen/watch. This will take me months to get caught up, and of course I haven't stopped finding new and cool podcasts to subscribe to.
It reminds me of my "to read" pile. I make these grand decisions that I'm not going to buy any more books until my "to read" pile is less than 3 shelves long. And then a new book comes out by John Scalzi, Greg Bear, Lois McMaster Bujold, Robert Sawyer, blah, blah, blah, and wham! I have even more to read.
Hello, my name is Janiece, and I'm a Podcast/Book-a-holic.
Chick Stuff - This Lotion Rules
This is the simply the best body lotion on the planet. It's sold by Allegria Spa, located in the posh Park Hyatt in Beaver Creek. No, I'm not a Rich Chick - I went there for a business event, and snagged the little trial size lotion in my room. I loved it so, I now buy the big bottles, which I'm sure was part of their nefarious plan.
It's Ginger Peach, which sounds odd, but has a slightly sweet, fresh scent, and I only have to put it on once a day. During a Colorado winter, that makes this stuff worth the money. Because it is expensive.
So grab some for yourself at www.allegriaspa.com, and you Smart Men? This would make a fabulous "just because" gift for your Hot Chicks. Cheaper than flowers, lasts longer.
We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.
The Gratitude Campaign
The Gratitude Campaign is a public service campaign to encourage average citizens to thank the members of our Armed Forces when they see them in public places.
I really like this idea. While I certainly can't claim to speak for all veterans, I like it when people make a small effort to recognize that I made sacrifices for my service.
For myself, I usually try to thank the vets I see without them knowing it. For example, if I see a person in uniform sitting down at an airport restaurant for a bite to eat, I'll pay for their meal and tell their waitperson to tell them "thanks for your service" after I've already walked away. Or I'll pay for a service member's haircut if I happen to be in the shop when they come in. I think little anonymous gestures like that go a long way in helping our service men and women feel that the people they serve appreciate them.
In fact, today at the grocery store I ran into a WWII vet. In this case, I did thank him in person. He got tears in his eyes.
Details on this program can be found on www.gratitudecampaign.org. Thanks to my brothers and sisters-in-arms!
Iowa Caucuses - Pass the Bong
Alas, now that the Iowa caucuses are done, the time has come.
First of all, who the hell thought up the system for the Iowa Caucus, and what kind of controlled substances were they using?
Herb: Hey, Sam, let's decide how Iowa will pick the presidential front-runners.
Sam: Sounds good, Herb. Pass the Bong.
**Sometime Later**
H: Hee, hee, hee! That's some good shit!
S: Duuuude!
H: We are so smart. We can totally figure out the coolest system for picking presidential candidates!
S: Pass the Cheetos.
H: First, let's divide the state up into 1,784 precincts. That's where all the action will be!
S: Pass the Doritos.
H: Think we should have a Bong at the door of each precinct?
S: Pass the Bong.
H: Nah, I don't want to share my good shit.
S: Pass the Nestle's Crunch.
H: Once the people are in the precincts, we can have them declare for whichever candidate floats their boat! Sort of like one of those black, spiritual churches!
S: Pass the Frito's.
H: They can each go to a separate area of the room, based on who they support, sort of like when you had to pick sides in an argument in elementary school!
S: Pass the Pork Chop on a Stick.
H: Then we can count each person in each group...multiply the number by the number of delegates allotted to the precinct...then divide by the number attending the caucus...DUUUUDE!
S: Pass the Fried Twinkies.
H: Dude, this system is going to rule! Soon all the states will be doing it this way! This is way better than simply voting!
S: Pass the Bong.
Ahem.
So it turns out that Romney's money didn't really get the job done for him, and Hilary's Machine™ isn't as infallible as we've been led to believe. Let's take a look at our current front runners, shall we?
Barack Obama is clearly a very bright man. I've read both his books, and his message of reconciliation and hope resonated with me. I want to believe that he's sincere in his intentions and beliefs, and I want to believe that his lack of experience in foreign affairs won't handicap him.
Unfortunately, no one passed me the bong.
In my mind, Barack simply does not have the experience necessary to successfully lead this nation during this time. We're in a state of war, and his experience in foreign affairs will be crucial to a successful administration. Additionally, his agreement to accept donations from rap stars who's lyrics are so offensive radio stations won't play them even in "clean" form belies his message of hope and dignity. Seriously, dude, hypocrisy much?
Mike Huckabee...well. At first I thought, "Here's another born-again evangelical who's going to save us from ourselves. Bleh. But at least he appears to be honest!" Yes, well, that last part's not entirely true, now, is it? Turns out former Governor Huckabee was using his office for illicit purposes, and taking money through dummy corporations because, you know, being a politician just doesn't pay as well as it should. Especially when compared to his stunning career as a Baptist Minister. That's where the big bucks are.
A lot can happen between now and November. It's absolutely possible that Obama and Huckabee won't be the contenders after Super-Tuesday. We could have Hillary's Machine™ and Romney, instead. Or John Edwards and President 9/11 himself.
Pass the Bong.
The Mad Cow - I Have It
One of Denny's bits is whenever he makes a mistake, he just points to his head and says, "Mad Cow." Evidently, the symptoms of Mad Cow Disease are very similar to those of Alzheimer's, and Denny would much prefer to have the Mad Cow than Alzheimer's.
Well, I appear to have the Mad Cow, too.
When I was in my twenties, I had a mind like a steel trap. I didn't keep a calendar - my calendar was my brain, and I rarely forgot anything. This lasted until my mid-thirties, when I evidently contracted the Mad Cow. It started out slowly - I would forget tiny things, like the details of a conversation, but would remember once other aspects of the conversation were repeated. As the years have progressed, my mind has come to more closely resemble a sieve than a steel trap, and damn, does it suck. I can't remember shit. I have to keep a calendar for both my personal and professional commitments. I chronically forget people's names. I can't remember the details of projects I work on. (To be fair to myself, that last one isn't entirely the Mad Cow - I work on hundreds of projects a month, so I keep design notes on each one to ensure I've documented my work.) I can't remember things my family members tell me.
That last one is the most frustrating. It's easy for them to interpret my forgetfulness as disregard, and so I try very hard to remember what they tell me. Unfortunately, I'm not always successful, and that makes them feel bad, which makes me feel bad.
Last year I finally went to see my doctor about it. She ran a battery of tests, and announced that my sieve-like memory was a result of "getting older." She made some recommendations surrounding "brain exercise," which I follow, but aside from that and cardiovascular exercise on a regular basis, there's really nothing to be done.
Swell. So now I need either Ponce de Leon or a BrainPal.
Back to Normal - Such As It Is
After our "holiday" dinner yesterday afternoon, we took everything down. Taking down Christmas decorations is my absolute least favorite chore of all time. So much so that I have a tendency to look for excuses not to put up the decorations at all, just to get out of taking them down. I've never done so, mostly because I can't bring myself to articulate why I hate it so. I suspect it has to do with the holiday let-down, although I'm usually relieved when the season is over and we can get back to normal (such as it is). I still have to write thank-you notes, though.
I have things to look forward to for the coming year.
My Smart Boy continues to grow and develop into a Smart Man, and will be a HS Senior in the fall.
My Smart Man and I will celebrate our 10 year anniversary this spring, and plan on taking a cruise in the fall to celebrate.
I'll be travelling to Montreal in July as part of my University's study abroad program.
We're hoping to travel to Ohio, home state of my Smart Man, for the Christmas holiday. This one's still iffy, as saving for the cruise has the priority.
I have a job I love, with reasonable job security and a decent salary.
And most importantly, I have family and friends whom I love, and they're all doing reasonably well. I can't ask for much more than that.
Santa is a Really Smart Man
Have a Happy New Year, children, and let's hope this year sees our brothers and sisters-in-arms home safely.