Conversations with Karma - Joe Taylor

Sunday, January 20, 2008
* ring, ring*

Joe Taylor: Mount Blanco Fossil Museum, Digging up facts of God's Creation, one fossil at a time, How May I Save You Today?

Karma: Yes, may I speak to Joe Taylor? This is Karma.

JT: This is Joe, God Bless me. Karma who?

K: No last name. Just Karma. The eastern idea that you will receive your punishment or reward for your deeds. You know...what comes around goes around, people get what they deserve? Karma.

JT: Is that in the Bible? If it's not, then I'm sure it's not true, and I don't believe it.

K: That's okay. Believing in me or not doesn't change my efficacy.

JT: We don't cotton to using that kind of language around here! We're doing GOD'S WORK.

K: Um, okay. Sorry about that. Listen, I'm calling you personally because I think my karmic work in your case is so spectacular, it really justifies personal communication.

JT: We're doing GOD'S WORK here. Heathen.

K: Yes, technically I'm a heathen, but that's not really the point.

JT: That's always the point.

K: You're a bit single-minded, aren't you? Back to my karmic work. I know you're having some financial trouble, and I've decided to help you resolve it so that you can continue with your "work."

JT: Praise God!

K: Probably not. The way to save your "museum" is to sell something of value currently owned by the museum. Like Lone Star, the worlds largest four tusk mastodon skull.

JT: But, but...that's the museum's prize exhibit! We have countless hours invested! We even put an LED in the brain case!

K: We all have to make sacrifices, Joe. It's the only way to save your "work."

JT: Well, okay...

K: Now comes the best part. Hee! The only folks who can really pony up the kind of cash required to meet your goals are organizations who hire actual scientists with real credentials, as opposed to having Curators who went to Art School. Although I have to admit, that does sort of fit into your whole "Creation" motif.

JT: I'm not sure what you're getting at. I don't see what education and credentials have to do with THE TRUTH.

K: Well, Joe, THE TRUTH is that if you want to get the kind of money that this piece is worth, you're going to have to advertise it to the scientific community, with the actual scientific age noted. Otherwise it just won't bring the kind of cash you need.

JT: OBVIOUSLY, the skull can't be more than 6,000 years old. Because before that, there was no substance or form...or something like that.

K: Yes, well, that's why it's called irony. And that's why I'm so very good at my job. You see, out of one side of your mouth, you'll have to keep protesting that the earth is only 6,000 years old, and out of the other, you'll have to claim the fossil is 40,000 years old in order to sell it for the money you need. Isn't that beautiful? I really think this is some of my best work, don't you?

*click*

K: Joe? You there? No? Oh, well. I'm off to go visit Senator Craig. I never get tired of talking to him.

19 comments:

Nathan said...

She shoots!

She scooooooooooores!

Janiece Murphy said...

::Bows::

Thank you. Thank you very much.

::Janiece has left the building::

Jeri said...

These types have two sides to their mouth? Who knew? ;)

Becca said...

I love this! Thank you!

Kerri said...

Wow! This is a real intelligent post you have here! (Sarcasm)
Have you ever really met Joe Taylor? Have you ever been to his museum? Who's the single-minded person here? Because you disagree with his religion, creation beliefs, or whatever it may be, you think it's okay to make fun of him with some lame made up phone conversation. I know Joe Taylor. He's my Dad. He'd never make fun of someone based on their personal beliefs or religion. In fact, Joe is the most open-minded person I know. Even if Joe had read this blog himself and he had the chance to meet you in person, He would be gracious, open minded, and non-judgemental of you.

You and your subscribers might like to know that the Mastodon skull that Joe put up at auction SOLD tonight. Fortunately for my Dad, he can continue doing something he enjoys and believes in.

Janiece Murphy said...

Kerri, I can only assume you've googled your father's name to be directed here. Please note my rules surrounding trolling found here if you wish to participate in a conversation on my forum.

The satire in this post is about your father's science, not his religion. If an individual attempts to pass off their religion as science, then they are fair game for scientific challenge. You can either defend your opinion scientifically (as I am prepared to do), or you can hide behind relgion. You cannot do both. Or I should say you cannot do both here.

Your father chooses to be a public person as a result of his work and his website. I choose to be a public person because of my blog. If your father does not wish to have his beliefs examined and his hypocrisy exposed, then he should keep it to himself. Because satire, as a means of public expression, has been accepted for many, many years.

And you should know that my comments were never about the Mastodon skull or it's veracity. It's about intellectual integrity. Something which your father evidently lacks, at least in his public persona.

Obviously, I cannot, and have not, expressed any opinion on his private life.

Michelle K said...

Disagree about personal beliefs and religion?

Um... creationism isn't about personal beliefs and religion. It's about people refusing to accept overwhelming scientific evidence because it doesn't fit into their circumscribed view of the world.

Sticking ones metaphysical fingers in their ears and singing "la la la la! I can't hear you!" to scientific evidence isn't about one's relationship with god. It's about someone blindly and willfully refusing to accept god's creation as it is.

It's about trying to force god into our own image instead of trying to remake ourselves into god's image.

Not that she'll come back here to read this--I've never had anyone come back after trolling my site anyway--but I needed to say that.

Kerri said...

Janiece,
Before your response, I had never heard of "trolling". I do apologize if it appears that this is what I was doing. You are correct that I googled my Dad's name and was directed to your website as well as many others. I came to your website out of curiosity, largely in part because of the name of your blog. I'm not here to argue science with anyone. I'll leave that to the people who know what they are talking about. My intentions were solely to defend my Dad after reading article after article of negative comments. Surely you can understand how you might feel if one of your loved one's was being ridiculed for their religious, scientific, or personal beliefs? Please accept my apologies for lashing out at you.

Sincerely,
Kerri

Janiece Murphy said...

Kerri, in fact, I completely understand your desire to defend your father.

Please understand that my satire is not intended as a personal attack as him as human being - as noted in my previous response, I am in no way qualified to discuss it. It was directly solely at his scientific beliefs.

However, I do not expect you to accept that without hurt feelings. He's your father, and as such, you feel compelled to defend him. I would do the same.

While I cannot apologize for writing a piece satiring Young Earth Creationism, I can certainly apologize for hurting your feelings. You are not a public person, and my intent was to poke fun at pseudo-science, not the persona you see as your "Dad." It's probably difficult for you to make that differentiation, as it often is when dealing with family members whom we love.

In any event, I wish you and yours no ill will on a personal level. Good luck.

Tom said...

Janiece, I hope you have a wiretap authorization from Karma, or a legally recognized warrant. Otherwise your reportage of that conversation could land you in hot water.

Speaking of hot water, it seems that's really the reason Joe Taylor needed $120,000 (or thereabouts - the reported minimum bid for the Mastodon skull). He was party to some kind of arbitration agreement that had a "you can't badmouth" clause, but he did "badmouth" on the Internet, 5 times, with a penalty of $20,000 a pop. That hundred grand, plus almost thirty grand more for legal fees, put him in debt. Note that's him, not his museum. But people are going after his museum to settle the debt, hence the sale of the Mastodon skull.

The above is a short summary from hours of Google-digging.

I started the Google-digging because I couldn't believe Kerri was a real person. It seems she may be exactly who she says she is, though "daughter" may be somewhat misleading. As Kerri said, the mastodon skull did sell for $191,200.

I never did get to your blog as a result of my Google-digging, though Stonekettle Station did show up. Believe me, Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men would catch my eye even in a long list of results.

I'm impressed that Kerri came back and explained what she was doing, and appologized. That takes her out of the "troll" category. I'm also impressed by your further clarification.

This Internet thing sure is a powerful force!

Janiece Murphy said...

Tom, I'm afraid I can't reveal my super-secret wire-tap authorization signed by the super-secret court with jurisdiction over irony. Sorry, you'll just have to take my word for it that it's authorized. You can trust me. Really.

I was also impressed that Kerri returned, and her comments clearly took her out of the "troll" category. I'm glad, because I didn't want to have to use the Shovel of Doom™ so quickly after creating it. The intent of my blog is not to indiscriminately sling mud, or offer gratuitous insults, but to make humorous observations on the world at large. In my mind, people who choose to live their professional lives in the public eye are fair game. I hope that was clear to Kerri, and that I didn't hurt her feelings too much.

I also tried to google Joe Taylor to see if Hot Chicks came up, and had no luck. My referral list offered no detail, either, so I'm not sure how Kerri landed here. One of the "internet mysteries," I guess.

I did know about Mr. Taylor's legal issues, but didn't think it germain to the hypocrisy angle, which was really what I was poking with my stick.

Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men, Poking Pseudo-Science with a Stick Since 2008.

Kerri said...

Janiece,
Thank you for your comment. You never owed me an apology. I went off half-cocked. One of the reasons this is a great country is because we all have the freedom to say what we feel, when we choose, and how we choose. Your satire is your way of saying how you feel about Young Earth Creationism and I appreciate that. In fact, any other time I would have probably thought it funny myself. Unfortunately, after reading several other blogs yours happened to be the "lucky" one where I landed and had had enough.

Just to clear up a couple of questions from one of your subscribers:

1. I am in fact a real person and my name is definitely Kerri.

2. Joe is not my biological Dad. I am only one of 10 children that Joe raised or help raise. Joe has never been married and he has no biological children of his own. He happened to be an honest, decent, Christian man who lived on the same block as most of us children many years ago. We all had working mothers and no father-figures in our homes. Joe spent more time, money, and energy providing for us 10 kids than any of our biological fathers did. He was our lifesaver. Therefore, I feel like he has earned the respect and badge of "fatherhood". I call him Dad.

3. I came to your blog by doing a search on Google as "lone star mastodon and joe taylor". It was on the fourth page.

Sincerely,
Kerri

Janiece Murphy said...

Kerri, thank you very much for returning, and continuing this dialog in a civilized, coherent manner.

You're welcome here anytime.

Jim Wright said...

Ack!

Well, that's karma for you, Janiece :)

You can be damned diplomatic for a Senior Chief. And though Kerri didn't actually say she was a YEC, I guess I assume she is. And if so, she's about the most diplomatic one I listened to. I'm impressed.

Jim Wright said...

Oh, and it bothers me not at all that Stonekettle Station got you into this. Heh!

Janiece Murphy said...

Jim, yeah, well. Just another example of how the Weird Room gets the Goat Locker in trouble by stirring things with a stick, then watching with glee as the Senior NCO's scramble to try and fix things. No need to apologize - I'm used to it.

Diplomacy, yeah. Kerri was diplomatic and polite, so I was, too. I much prefer those interactions to having to belt someone with a clue-by-four.

Jim Wright said...

Hey now, don't lump me in with those Academy dickheads in the Weirdroom. I didn't fit in there any better than in the Mess. - which is, of course, exactly how it should be. :)

Janiece Murphy said...

Hee! I got a rise out of Jim! Hee!

John the Scientist said...

I'm a lot less diplomatic with the C- student.