Free Shit Friday - I Got Nothing Edition

Friday, May 31, 2013
I'm out of jam and shoes to give away, so for today's Free Shit Friday giveaway, I'm offering either my undying affection, or a made-by-me hat and scarf set in the colors of your choice. Yes, I realize it's almost June and you won't be able to use it until much later in the year. I told you - I GOT NOTHING.

The winner of the Pear Nutmeg Jam is Carol Elaine, with a random number of 8. CE, I'm not sure I have your new address, so please let me know where you want me to send the goods. Enjoy!

Things for Thursday

Thursday, May 30, 2013

The sound of silence

But only here at HCDSM. The Smart Man and I have been visiting our Awesome, Awesome Niece and her staff for the last number of days. And households that include a 2-year-old do NOT, in fact, have an abundance of silence. Which is as it should be.

Bug is doing just fine, and thinks both her Auntie and her Uncle are the Cat's Pyjamas, which makes our visits exercises in the Mutual Admiration Society. The part that tickled me most: I ran several times while there, and when the Smart Man told her I was running, she proceeded to run laps around the house, saying she was "running like Aunt Janiece!"

Baseball has been very, very good to me

Bug's a big fan of baseball, and knows the lineup of her home team. We managed to catch a game at the Nationals Stadium while on the East Coast, and I taught Bug to say "He's outta there!" along with the appropriate hand motion. Because that's the kind of Auntie I am.

The Nationals Stadium is the fourth MLB stadium we've visited in support of our plan to see a game in every MLB stadium. Next up is the Kansas City Royals, which we're planning for August. We wanted to go see the Giants this year, but some unexpected expenses are going to keep us closer to home, methinks.

On the road again

I'm getting back on the road in the month of June, so far to Columbus, OH, and Charlotte, NC. The first is a customer visit (yay!) and the second is a professional conference (meh). The conference IS taking place in the home city of the Incomparable Eric, proprietor of the excellent Standing on the Shoulders of Giant Midgets and fellow UCFer, which means I get to meet him and his lady love for a meal while I'm there. I'll take it!

Free Shit Friday - Pear Nutmeg Jam

Friday, May 24, 2013

Today's Free Shit Friday offering is a pint of Pear Nutmeg jam. This is one of my Hot Mom's favorites.

da Rules.

The winner of the Blueberry Lemonade Jam is Laur, with a random number of 12. Laur, send your contact details and I'll get that in the mail when I get a chance.

Talking out your ass

Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Credibility matters to me.

As a general rule, I'm much more inclined to take someone - and their opinions - seriously if I have respect for them in general, and respect for their knowledge on the specific subject at hand. And a key aspect of earning that respect is whether or not they're credible.

Examples:
  • If you've never raised kids successfully, or studied child development at a University level, your opinion about how best to raise a kid to a functioning, self-sufficient adult means next to nothing to me. Which is not to say that you shouldn't have an opinion about how kids should act in public and such - you should. But how to achieve that end result is not in your wheelhouse. This is why first time parenting SUCKS SO VERY MUCH.
  • If you've never been able to effectively set emotional boundaries for yourself in a way that has led to meaningful, mutually respectful intimate relationships, you should probably keep your opinions on those matters to yourself.
  • If you claim to have deep and up to date knowledge on the subject of (for example) health, nutrition and fitness, and yet you're not healthy, you don't eat well and you're unfit and/or obese, I'm not going to listen to you even if your knowledge really is deep and up to date. Because you haven't closed the gap between knowing what to do, and doing it. Execution matters, and you can't tell me how to execute if you've been unable to do so yourself. 
All of these examples have one thing in common: People talking out of their asses.

Now I think it's fair to say that all of us talk out of our asses from time to time. It's part of the human condition, and the trick is to recognize when you're doing it so you can laugh apologetically and take the opportunity to shut the hell up. Who knows, the next topic of conversation may in fact be something on which you really are an expert - you just have to wait your turn. The folks that get under my skin are the ones suffering from a combination of the Dunning-Kruger effect and cognitive dissonance, as in, "I'm far more knowledgeable on this subject than my conversation mates (in spite of the fact that I have no education in this field), and they should listen to me (in spite of the fact that I've never been able to execute successfully on the topic under discussion)."

You know what scares the crap out of me? That I might be guilty of this sin, and no one's telling me.

Fortunately for me, though, I adhere to my celebrity boyfriend Neil deGrasse Tyson's advice: "If you’re generally good at BS’ing, it means you don’t hang around people who are smarter than you.” I hang around some really smart people, people who are much smarter than me, and well educated on a wide variety of subjects. And they have the added bonus of being intellectually honest enough to call me on my bullshit when I do wander too far afield. 

I love that about them.

The Worst Job in the World

Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Today's "Worst Job in the World" award just has to go to the PR department of Abercrombie & Fitch.

Can you imagine being responsible for damage control every time that douchecanoe Mike Jeffries opens his mouth? Trying to mop up this dude's mess has to be right up there with New York Rat Catcher or Leech Farmer.

The most recent contretemps, of course, surround his egregious "fat-shaming" comments about why A&F won't offer women's pants in a size higher than a ten. Because all you Fatty McFattersons who wear an enormous size twelve JUST AREN'T COOL ENOUGH FOR ABERCROMBIE & FITCH.

Explaining this shit to the public just CAN'T be easy:
"We're sorry our CEO is a reprehensible choad with no redeeming social qualities whatsoever."
"We regret our CEO's unfortunate comments regarding 'cool kids.' He has brain damage from repeated noogies when he was a child, and isn't responsible for his actions."
"Abercrombie & Fitch would like to publicly apologize for our complete lack of compassion, understanding, inclusion, and redeeming social value in the marketplace."
"We just suck. And we intend to continue to suck. And we'll continue to be successful at it, too."
That last one is just fucking depressing. And also, unfortunately, true.

Burden or Blessing

Monday, May 20, 2013
I was having a conversation with my very favorite Auntie the other night, and we were discussing how different people approach life in different ways. We decided that there are two kinds of people in this world: Those who consider their life a blessing, and those who consider it a burden.

People who fall on the "blessing" side of the fence look at their time on this earth as something to be savored, a gift to be appreciated and enjoyed. They may not feel that way every day, of course - everyone has days where they feel like they just have to get through the day so they can go on to the next. But they don't consider every day in that light, and instead take joy in the aspects of their life that give them pleasure.

Not so the "burden" folks.

These people consider each and every day something to be endured, something that must be suffered in order to get to...I don't know what. A day that might suck less? A time in their life where things will be "different?" Some sort of game-changing event that will suddenly bring them the opportunity not to consider their lot in life to be survived, but not enjoyed?

In my never-ending (and often futile) quest to be a better human being, I've been thinking about this matter, and how much of a difference this can make in my future happiness. There have certainly been times in my life that had to be "endured," but I don't want my ENTIRE LIFE to feel that way. I want to be able to celebrate each and every day of my life (even the sucky ones). I want to have an attitude that allows me to see the world - and my place in it - as the blessing it truly is.

Because I'm naturally kind of snotty and sarcastic, this requires work. But I've decided that it's work worth doing, because I believe the end result will be a life that brings joy rather a life weighed down with burdens.

Free Shit Friday - Blueberry Lemonade Jam

Friday, May 17, 2013

Today's Free Shit Friday offering is a pint of Blueberry Lemonade jam, now with more lemony flavor (due to popular demand).

da Rules.

A Tree Grows for Boogie

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

When we lost our Beloved Boogie last Thanksgiving, my amazing and loving Blog Circle, The UCF, wanted to help us memorialize him in some way. So they ordered a tree in his name, to be delivered in the Spring in time for planting.

This is Boogie's Tree, a flowering Dogwood. It arrived when I was in Virginia, and got slightly dry in the box awaiting my return. But it's now planted in our back yard, in its own little berm, receiving all the care we can muster. We're not particularly skilled in caring for plant life, but we'll do our very best to ensure that Boogie's Tree has a long and healthy life.

Thank you, friends, for understanding how very much he meant to us, and helping us to celebrate his life.

Sticking up for the Tea Party

Monday, May 13, 2013
The end-times must surely be upon us, for I agree with Glenn Beck. 

It turns out that during the 2012 election the IRS was unfairly delaying or denying tax-exempt status for groups that applied with "Tea Party" or "Patriot" in their names. The next day, it then came to light that the IRS knew they were engaging in this grossly inappropriate behavior - and did next to nothing to correct the problem.

I've been following the scandal via Outside the Beltway, and there are plenty of liberal and conservative media outlets and blogs who are writing about the legalities of the situation, so I'll not do that here.


It's no secret how I feel about the so-called "Tea Party" and it's so-called "Patriotic" affiliates. I think that much of their rhetoric and vitriol is inspired by racism.I think the vast majority of the membership is being manipulated by big money, and they're too stupid to realize it. I think they're intellectually dishonest and lack anything resembling self examination. In short, I think their very presence in public life lowers the IQ of the country and their pandering to the lowest common denominator of American life makes me apoplectic with rage.

Which means I might be inclined to chortle softly in self-satisfaction at the hand they've been dealt by the IRS, right? Wrong. I feel compelled to speak about this matter, and speak on behalf of the Tea Party.

Here's the thing about that pesky "rule of law" we liberals are always nattering on about: It must apply to everyone, equally, or it means nothing. This means that not only my group gets a fair shake - all groups must get the same treatment. It means that when a government agency abuses their power and imposes bureaucratic burdens on an unpopular movement, they should be called out, held accountable, and heads should roll, REGARDLESS of which side of the political aisle is affected. 

Because, you see, you never know when your group or movement might be the "unpopular" one, and be subject to the same abuse of power.

Accountability matters. When the government is involved, it matters even more. People should lose their jobs over this. And don't forget to stock up for the impending Apocalypse.

Free Shit Friday - Sugar-Free Raspberry Jam

Friday, May 10, 2013

Today's Free Shit Friday giveaway is a pint of Sugar-Free Raspberry jam made with Splenda.

This is my first foray into sugar-free jam. I did taste the result, and while it doesn't taste like the sugared stuff, it was pretty tasty.

da Rules.

Rules for Life

Wednesday, May 8, 2013
So The Bloggess posted her "Rules for Life" the other day, and like most of the stuff she writes, it was awesome. And more than little weird. Because that's just how she rolls.

But it got me to thinking - we should all have "Rules for Life" as a way to focus our desires for ourselves, and to remind us of the person we aspire to be. Writing them down provides us with a yardstick on which to judge our behavior.

So at the risk of participating in a meme, here are Janiece's Rules for Life. Some of these I shamelessly stole, and some not. Either way, they're mine now, because you can never have too many people who think "Don't be a dick" is a good rule to live by.

1. Don't be a dick.
2. Surround myself with people who are fucking awesome, and think I'm fucking awesome, too. Life's too short to spend time with people who make me feel bad.
3. Identify those limited number of people for whom I'd go to the ends of the earth, and then treat them accordingly. 
4. Take care of my body. I may get sick anyway, but I'll feel better in the meantime. 
5. Do work I care about, or I'll feel like I'm spending half my waking hours on soul-sucking banalities. 
6. Stand up to bullies.
7. Be a good friend to my spouse, my family, my friends.
8. Maintain a level of intellectual honesty in my life. This means accepting facts that are contrary to my opinion, and then changing my mind if it's warranted. 
9. Defend the weak. 
10. Teach the weak how to defend themselves. 
11. Get over myself. I'm not the only competent person in the room. 
12. Read. 
13. Be generous. Every act of generosity makes the world a better place to live, and makes me a better person. 
14. Try to look at the world through someone else's lens. Not everyone's experience is that of a privileged, middle class pasty white girl. And reminding myself of this fact gives me a more accurate perception of reality.
15. Be kind to animals. Note: Humans are animals.
16. Think about how my behavior and my words affect others, whether I like them or not. 
17. Don't give in to fear. That way lies madness.
18. Write thank you notes. On paper. With my hand.
19. Forgive myself, but only if I'm ready and committed to change the behavior requiring forgiveness.
20. Don't be a dick.

Miscellaneous Monday (A day late and a dollar short)

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

And the silence rings out like thunder

The house is empty today. I mean really empty. The Smart Man went into the office today. Our Hot Daughter moved out last week while I was in Virginia. And we lost our beloved Boogie the Giant Schnauzer last year.

So today I'm alone in the house, at least until the cleaning service comes, and I'm not sure I'm digging this turn of events.

Getting ready for the end game

Now that we're bereft of kids and pets, we're giving serious thought to what we need to do in order to retire. I have less than 20 years of work left before I hit "traditional" retirement age, and while we've been contributing to our 401Ks since entering the civilian work force, there are other things we need to do so that we can enjoy the life we want when the time comes. Most of those things are related to living arrangements and health care, of course.

The Big Yellow House is not conducive to retirement living (three stories, no bedroom on the main floor), so we always thought that we'd sell it and downsize as soon as the kids were off the payroll. But now we're thinking it might be smarter to stay here for another ten years or so, just because we're finally starting to make some headway on the principal. Which means, of course, that we're going to need to execute on some long-delayed home improvement projects.

And then there's healthcare. The Smart Man is six years younger than me, and so won't be eligible for Medicare when I'm ready to stop working, and we do not yet have a plan for this gap. We have time to work it out, of course, but these are the things that are keeping me up at night now that it's just the two of us (and a hypothetical future dog).

OCD! OCD! OCD for you and me!

Rabbit food

I've been trying to come up with a plan to continue my weight loss goals while still fulfilling my travel obligations to the Military Industrial Complex. I thought I had it worked out last week when I spent 11 days on the East coast, but when I got home, my two week weight loss total was only 1.4 lbs. This was disappointing.

So I see myself with two choices: Bring my own food in my suitcase, thereby ensuring I have an accurate calorie count on what I eat, or stick to salads when I eat out (with dressing on the side). Or a combination of the two. I suspect I'll be trying the combination approach when I'm back in Virginia next week and I'll just see how that works.

Oh, and my plantar fasciitis is back, probably from running. Stupid plantar fasciitis. Like a book that you just can't seem to finish, I feel like this weight loss endeavor is going to go on FOREVER.

Free Shit Friday - Shocking, Another Pair of Shoes

Friday, May 3, 2013

Today's Free Shit Friday Offering is a pair of black Naturalizer Pumps with three inch heels, size 8M.

These are in great shape, as I've only worn them once. As usual, they're been supplanted by a new pair of Fluevogs.

da Rules.

The winner of the Spiced Fig Jam is MAW, with a random number of 9. Send your contact details, and The Mechanicky Gal will mail out the Loot.