On the Nature of Love

Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Originally posted on April 8, 2008.

__________________________

Over the last several years, I've been giving a lot of thought to the nature of love.

Patriotic love, romantic love, platonic love, parental love.

And like Meg in The Wind in the Door, I've come to the conclusion that love is not a feeling. It's an act.

Someone can say they're a patriot, and they love their country, but really, what does that mean? Nothing. It doesn't mean a damn thing, unless that love is expressed in action. Action in service or action in support. Either you serve your country, in the military, or in politics, or in community, or you support those who serve in some meaningful way. Professing love for country without action is meaningless.

When you're in love with someone in a romantic sense, love is still an act. Anyone who's been involved in a long-term relationship knows that sometimes maintaining the actions of love when times are tough can be a challenge. But if you truly love the person, you perform the acts of love, whether that's doing your partner a favor when you're tired, maintaining your honor in the face of temptation, or sticking with them in good times or bad.

Platonic love was the hardest one for me to figure out, perhaps because over the course of my life I've had very few true friends that I could honestly say I loved. I have many, many acquaintances, many casual friends, but very few true friends whom I love. The part that took me a while was the realization that if I love my friend, then that person is as important to me as my partner or my family, and my actions should reflect that importance. Once I got square on that, my behavior has changed accordingly. If I'm unwilling to take the action I know demonstrates my love, then that relationship may turn out to be casual, or an acquaintance, but I won't make the mistake of thinking I love them.

In many ways, I think the love between a parent and a child is the most complex, because there's no choice involved. My parents will always be my parents, and my kids will always be my kids. I didn't choose any of them, but our lives are intertwined in such a way that we'll never be free of each other, regardless of whether or not they would be people we would choose if there was a choice. In both cases, there is an expectation that we'll take care of each other, performing the acts that need to be done to ensure health and happiness. I also think a failure to perform those acts is a failure of love - if you don't do what's necessary, then you don't love the person, regardless of what you say. Sometimes the failure isn't any one's fault, but it's still a failure.

I expect I'll still be exploring the nature of love 10 years from now, and 20 years from now, and 30 years from now. I expect my perceptions and opinions will change as I age, and hopefully gain some wisdom.

But for now, I believe love is action. Acts of love.

Happy Memorial Day

Monday, May 30, 2011
WESTMORELAND: O that we now had here
    But one ten thousand of those men in England
    That do no work to-day!
 
KING: What's he that wishes so?
    My cousin Westmoreland? No, my fair cousin;
    If we are mark'd to die, we are enow
    To do our country loss; and if to live,
    The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
    God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
    By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,
    Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
    It yearns me not if men my garments wear;
    Such outward things dwell not in my desires.
    But if it be a sin to covet honour,
    I am the most offending soul alive.
    No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England.
    God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour
    As one man more methinks would share from me
    For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
    Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,
    That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
    Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
    And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
    We would not die in that man's company
    That fears his fellowship to die with us.
    This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
    He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
    Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
    And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
    He that shall live this day, and see old age,
    Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
    And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.'
    Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
    And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'
    Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
    But he'll remember, with advantages,
    What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
    Familiar in his mouth as household words-
    Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
    Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
    Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
    This story shall the good man teach his son;
    And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
    From this day to the ending of the world,
    But we in it shall be remembered-
    We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
    For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
    Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
    This day shall gentle his condition;
    And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
    Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
    And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
    That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

Just so. Happy Memorial Day, my Band of Brothers - and Sisters. 

Judgment

Sunday, May 29, 2011
The pieces were first published on October 13, 2010 and October 26, 2010.

______________________________

Judgey Me

I have a tendency towards being self-righteous and judgey. Yes, I know - shocking. I do try to keep it under control, though, as I find these particular personality traits of mine to be less than becoming and not really something to be proud of. Like all of us, I'm a work in progress, and unlike the saints among us, I suspect I will remain unfinished.

However, I recently read a really outstanding blog post by HCDSM reader and occasional commenter David, who is a professional historian and an all-around Smart Man. It was called Nine Things that Make Me Judge You, and it contained the characteristics that push David to judge other people and find them wanting. Because David is someone I consider to be more charitable than myself, and less, well, judgey, the list made me think. Everyone judges other people - everyone. It's simply part of being human. So at what point does judging others become a vice, and at what point is it simply learning from world around you?

I'm not sure I'm qualified to answer that question, given my innate tendencies, but I do know that there are characteristics that push me over the edge. I suspect expressing them makes me a self-righteous, judgey bitch, but I know that I'm unwilling to compromise on them. So here's my list of 7 Things That Make Me Judge You.

1. You consider people who choose to serve in the Armed Forces to be losers, or suckers, or that the military was their "last resort."

My family has served this nation in uniform for over 150 years in every branch except the Coast Guard. We did so because we have a tradition of military service, and a service ethos. It's a fundamental part of who we are. When you express the opinion that our service is without value, you imply that we are without value. This, of course, makes me wonder why me and mine would put ourselves in harm's way for the likes of you.

2. You choose to disregard empirical truth in favor of your unprovable belief.

I have no issue with faith. I don't understand it, I don't have it, but I consider it a private matter, and therefore none of my damn business. But when you insist on disregarding observable evidence in favor of something that can't be proven, then I will assume your lack of critical thinking skills extend to every area of your life, not just geology and your "case for a young earth."

3. You consider others' accomplishments grounds for your contempt rather than your respect.

Unless you're the pinnacle of human evolution,* there will always be someone who is smarter than you, or better educated than you, or has a better understanding of a specific topic than you, or just simply works harder than you. This hard fact of life isn't grounds for accusing these people of being "elitists," or "snobs" or whatever disparaging name you choose to apply. People who have better skills than you should be considered assets. When I'm considering who I want to be my doctor, or my architect, or my handyman, I want someone who can do the job better than me. Why would you not apply the same standard to those who govern our country?

4. You believe that because you don't understand a concept, then it must not be true.

As a corollary to number three, you are still not the pinnacle of human evolution.** You can't be an expert on everything, and even with diligent and dedicated effort, it may turn out that you don't have the natural ability to fully grasp specific disciplines. Your inability in this area, however, does not prove that others don't have the expertise you lack. "Disbelieving" the Theory of Evolution because you either haven't taken the time to fully understand it or lack the ability to do so does not make it untrue. It simply makes you ignorant and an unworthy heir to the Enlightenment.

5. You assume that your social prejudices are the "natural order of things," and act accordingly.

If you assume that your discomfort with homosexuality or other non-destructive, non-mainstream aspects of humanity means that such people should be marginalized and ostracized, then don't be surprised if you yourself are eventually marginalized and ostracized by those who practice self examination on a regular basis.

6. You refuse to change your opinion in the presence of contradictory evidence.

People with critical thinking skills are capable of changing their minds and analyzing the other side of the argument. If you have a dearly held opinion, and are presented with evidence that you are simply WRONG, show some moral courage, admit your error and change your mind.

7. You lack generosity of spirit.

Helping others when they need it, whether that's through philanthropy, volunteerism, or working toward a more equitable world, is one of the things that differentiates us from other species. When you leave the weak to suffer and die, or refuse to help those who cannot help themselves, you show me a side of humanity that I don't really care for. Which means I probably won't care much for you, either.

*You're not.

**No, really - you're not.
_________________



Accepting Me

Once again, I am inspired by HCDSM reader and occasional commenter David. At the rate he's going, I may never have to think of original blogging fodder again - I'll simply copy David for the duration.

He recently inspired me to write this as a result of some thoughtful snarkiness, and now he's written a follow-up piece detailing Nine Things That Will Not Make Me Judge You. I like having balance in my life. I like it so much I'm going to balance the scales here at Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men and totally steal David's idea AGAIN.

Here are Seven Things That Will Not Make Me Judge You.

1. You are grief-stricken when your beloved pet dies.

People who don't consider their pets to be part of their family typically don't understand how someone can have a deep emotional relationship with a pet. But in many ways, such relationships are the purist, most fulfilling things in this life. Being grief-stricken when they die is appropriate, and fitting.

2. You are poor.

Unlike willful ignorance, being poor isn't something people choose. If you're not convinced, go read this.

3. You have faith.

Like most atheists, I'm far too pragmatic to understand faith. Unlike many atheists, I admire those who manage a spiritual connection to this world that does not interfere with empirical reality.

4. You choose not to serve in the Armed Forces.

While my own family has a tradition of military service, there are many ways to serve your country and your fellow human beings. It's not up to me to proclaim that my preferred method of service is superior to any other.

5. You perform what is considered "menial" work.

Menial is as menial does. If you're the best waiter I've ever had, the key word there is "best," not "waiter."

6. You cry for sentimental reasons. 

Crying because something reminds of you of what's really important about being human is a sign that you might be someone I'd enjoy knowing, not the opposite.

7. You ask for help.

Not to be completely cliche, but no man is an island. Needing help occasionally does not make you weak or needy, but it does make you human. And allowing others to help you when you genuinely need it makes those who are willing to help human, too.

2011 Flower Pr0n - Iris Edition

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Free Shit Friday - Awesome Apple Butter of Awesomeness

Friday, May 27, 2011
I have it on the highest authority - I make awesome Apple Butter. And I do mean awesome. It's a not-so-secret family recipe that I totally stole from a cookbook my Hot MIL gave me.

So this week, I'm giving away not one, but TWO jars of my famous in two countries Apple Butter.

However, the results on this one will be delayed. I'm leaving tomorrow for my FABULOUS HAWAIIAN CRUISE. And if you think I'm going to interrupt my FABULOUS HAWAIIAN CRUISE so I can log in and access a random number generator, all for the sake of Apple Butter, you need to lay down the crack pipe and seek immediate help. 

Da rules.

FABULOUS HAWAIIAN CRUISE

Thursday, May 26, 2011
I'm going to be scarce around here for the next week or two. Because I'm leaving for a FABULOUS HAWAIIAN CRUISE on Saturday. Which will be FABULOUS.

As is my custom, I've preposted some content so that you all won't be without your dancing monkey in my absence - mostly retreads of my favorite pieces that I've written for Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men.

I'm also leaving the Incomparable Boogie™ (along with an attendant human) here to hold down the Fort at the Big Yellow House, so any of you with ill intent will have a huge, black dog to contend with. Who's old and grumpy. And lumpy. But still fierce.

Enjoy your week, slaving away in the salt mines of Corporate America, while the Smart Man and I enjoy the lovely tropical islands of Hawai'i. It's unlikely we'll be thinking of you while we're frolicking in the surf or eating delicious, fattening food, but if it makes you feel better, please imagine us lounging on the deck of our cruise ship, sipping frosty tropical beverages, saying to one another, "I wonder what [insert your name here] is doing?"

Farewell, Spirit

Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Fair Winds and Following Seas, Little Rover
After six long years of amazing science, NASA has decided to suspend efforts to reestablish contact with the Mars Rover Spirit.

What an amazing accomplishment these little guys were. Designed to serve for only 3 months, they kept on going for six years, coming back year after year after year. The engineering teams who were responsible for their design, manufacture and deployment have a lot to be proud of.

As a fan of the space program, I can never decide which program is my favorite - the Hubble, or the Mars Rovers. The Hubble has opened our eyes to events that occurred millions of years in the past, and provided insight into our origins and the wider universe. Breathtakingly beautiful, the Hubble images have served not to make me feel small or insignificant, but to connect me to the universe in a spectacular way.

But the Rovers - the Rovers have stood as a testimony to the ingenuity and accomplishment of humankind. Like the Apollo missions that came before, the accomplishment of the Rover project team at JPL represents what's best about us as a species, and what we're capable of accomplishing if we commit to do so.

The Hubble connects me to the universe, and the Rovers give me hope for our future as human beings. 

Fortunately for me, and all of us, we have the new Rover Curiosity (scheduled to launch in November) and the James Webb Space Telescope (scheduled to launch in 2014). Hopefully these programs will measure up in providing not only amazing science, but inspiring new generations. They have big shoes to fill.

The Colostomy Home Starter Kit, Endorsed by Pete DeGraaf!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011
I'm starting a new business - The Colostomy Home Starter Kit. Trust me - it's going to be HUGE.

You see, according to Representative Pete DeGraaf of Kansas*, people need to plan ahead in life. They need to ensure they're prepared for life's little eventualities, like having a flat tire. Or being raped. So when a woman is planning her health insurance coverage, she should just assume she's going to be raped, and that the event will result in an unwanted pregnancy. Such an assumption should lead her to the RIGHT DECISION, which is evidently purchasing an "abortion only" policy instead of, you know, having abortion covered under her regular health insurance plan. Like other perfectly legal procedures.

Because really, planning for a flat tire on your vehicle and planning for your eventual degradation at the hands of a sociopath is EXACTLY THE SAME THING.

So I'm going to start marketing my new "Colostomy Home Starter Kit" to Republican men. After all, it's ONLY A MATTER OF TIME until some degenerate - say, in a public restroom - violates their persons, and Baby Jesus wants us to plan ahead! So once the inevitable event occurs, these Boy Scouts will be FULLY PREPARED to administer their own colostomy, since their bums will be ripped to shreds as a result of their violation.

Here's my pitch:
Everyone needs a Colostomy Home Starter Kit! Since the results of rape won't be covered under your normal health insurance plan (unless you get the "colostomy only" policy), you'll need some way of getting rid of your crap! Endorsed by Representative Pete DeGraaf! Only $69.95!* Order TODAY!

*Disposable shit bags not included.
I'm totally going to retire on this idea.

______________
*Naturally he's from Kansas. And people wonder why I consider going there a burden.

The Self-Immolation of Newt

Monday, May 23, 2011
So I was listening to Face the Nation this morning via Podcast, and the guest was Good Ole Newt™. He was talking with Bob Schieffer, who was not letting him off the hook in terms of his back-pedaling. Good Ole Newt™ was wielding his fire extinguisher with abandon, attempting to put out the fires of his recent self-immolation, but I don't think it's going to work out the way he wants. He may think he's a heavy hitter in Iowa, but I think my little friend on the right has a better chance of winning the nomination that he does. 

Not that that will make him shut up and go home, or anything - you know he'll continue to flap his gums and muck up the works for as long as humanly possible. Which may, in fact, be his strategy. Which is unfortunate from a "I'd like to maintain my mental health" perspective. 

I do have to bring something up, however. When Shieffer brought up Newt's $500K debt to Tiffany & Co., Good Ole Newt™ claimed that it was a rotating account, with no interest, and then claimed that he and Mrs. Gingrich lived "frugally."

Because living "frugally" evidently means that you carry half a million dollars in debt to a jewelry store.

I can't stop laughing about this.

Who thinks that spending $500K on jewelry is frugal? Seriously - who? What a cynical, detached from reality, pander to the rich TOOL.

Go home, Newt. No one wants you. Except Tiffany's - they think you're SWELL.

Free Shit Friday Winner...

Sunday, May 22, 2011
...of the Coach hobo bag is Shawn, with a random number of "7." Or more properly, Shawn's lovely wife. Or at least that's what he claims.

Enjoy!

Missives from the Apocalypse - #4

Saturday, May 21, 2011
It's well after 6:00 p.m. Mountain, and guess what? Still no Rapture. WHAT A GYP. I was really hoping all those self-righteous douchebags would be out of my hair for the duration, but it was not to be.

What a shock. NOT.

Unfortunately, this also means I'm going to have to do my homework tomorrow. Fuck.

Missives from the Apocalypse: #3

So we passed a Christian store while shopping today, and guess what? THEY WERE OPEN. No faith, I swear.

And now we're in PF Chang's, with still no sign of the Rapture.  But we do have lettuce wraps, so we have that going for us.

Missives from the Apocalypse: #2

Still no signs of the Rapture. Seriously - I was hoping to do some looting before lunch, but alas and alack, it's apparently not to be. Instead I have to PAY for my Ann Taylor sweaters.

This whole apocalypse thing is turning out to be a real bust.

Missives from the Apocalypse - #1

I have an hour before the Fabulous Stacey™ picks me up for my personal shopping day (now with more lunch!), so I figured I'd write my first missive:

Nothing to report.

The Boogie Dog and I went for our walkies and saw no zombies, Rapture Balloons, or other indications of the End Times, although we did see a dozen deer with an extraordinarily short flight radius. But it's not yet 6:00 p.m. in our time zone, so there's that.

But I have been thinking about a couple of other things that are apocalypse related.

The first one is on the issue of "respect." I've heard talk of Christians getting offended by others' lack of "respect" for their beliefs as it relates to Rapture. Evidently the fact that this loudmouth Camping has been presumptuous enough to claim to know when the Christian god will return is not grounds for the rest of us to make fun of the Rapture, even though the Christian Bible itself plainly states that no man knows when it will happen.

Whatever. If people can't even be consistent with what they claim to be their own belief system, I can't see how I'm obligated not to make fun of them, since my own moral code does not require that I be respectful of hypocritical ideas. While my rules of conduct may require that I remain silent in mixed company, respect for such hypocrisy will probably happen right around the same time as monkeys fly out of my ass.

And speaking of being inconsistent and hypocritical, can someone please explain to me how someone who claims to be a Christian, and thus (one assumes) attempts to emulate Christ-like behavior, can be all "I can't wait for the Rapture to come! Then you'll see!"? Stop me if my logic has a hole, but wouldn't such an event imply (in accordance with their own belief system) that me and mine would henceforth be subject to eternal torture and damnation? You're right, follower of Christ, seeing my face as I descend into the depths of Hell is totally worth the price of admission! I can see why you can't wait - being right is so much better than being Christ-like, and enjoying the torture of others is totally what being Christian is ALL ABOUT! Burn, heathen, burn! Good times!

I'm making fun of an idea. They're looking forward - evidently with great relish - to what they perceive to be my eternal damnation and torment. Think about it.

Boogie Blogging Friday

Friday, May 20, 2011
So handsome - lumpiness notwithstanding.

Special Edition - 'Tard of the Week: Kirk Cameron

You know, I can think lots and lots of reasons why Kirk Cameron is a complete assbite with no critical thinking skills whatsoever. The whole Ray Comfort-banana imbroglio. The Left Behind movies. His inability to accept empirical reality when it conflicts with his religion.

But now I think he's just a DOUCHE. Because apparently he feels that he's completely qualified to not only question the ideas of one of the greatest scientific thinkers of our time, but also to whine about how it's so unfair that Dr. Hawking is untouchable because of his physical disability.

Evidently Cameron, who "graduated with honors" from, you know, high school, feels that his ideas are much more worthy of consideration than Dr. Hawking's. He proves HOW VERY EDUCATED AND INFORMED he is in the following statement:
"He has an unfair disadvantage, and that gives him a free pass on some of his absurd ideas. Professor Hawking is heralded as 'the genius of Britain,' yet he believes in the scientific impossibility that nothing created everything and that life sprang from non-life."
No, I didn't make that shit up. It's a direct quote.

It's a SCIENTIFIC IMPOSSIBILITY. Because KIRK CAMERON, HIGH SCHOOL HONOR GRADUATE SAYS SO. And they try to claim that Atheists are arrogant. ::snort::

Dude makes me so happy I'm an Atheist. We have asswipes in our ranks, as well, but at least we don't have to lay claim to the likes of him. 'Tard.

Free Shit Friday - Coach Bag

This is a fun little Coach hobo bag in excellent condition. Unfortunately, it's just not big enough to hold both my wallet and and my Wayfarers,

So off it will go, into the aether, looking for a loving home where it will get used instead of languishing in obscurity in my closet.

Of course if the world does indeed end tomorrow, then all bets are off and you'll have to loot your own damn Coach bag from the vacated home of a BELIEVER. And good luck with that.

Da rules.

Instructions for the Rapture

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Because nothing will ruin your ascension into heaven like a pre-raptue killing spree.

_________
H/T to Vince, whose reality is apparently firmly grounded.

Live Blogging the Apocolypse

Tuesday, May 17, 2011
As we all know, Rapture is going to occur on Saturday. We know this, of course, because the Bible says it's true, and we crunched the numbers and whatnot. RAPTURE. On SATURDAY.

For what should be obvious reasons, I will be Left Behind. And you know what? I'm okay with that. Because on Saturday I'm going to be shopping and having lunch with the Fabulous Stacey™ and the Incomparable Anne™, and it would surely irk me if I suddenly got snatched up to Heaven right after I paid for my next Coach bag. 

So as a service to us Heathens, I will be Live Blogging the Apocalypse from my phone, providing periodic updates about the prevalence of zombies*, looters, and other amazing occurrences. Of course, we'll only be Witnessing events in the shopping areas that the Fabulous Stacey™ selects for us, but I'm going out on a limb and positing that they'll be indicative of goings-on throughout the country.

Stay tuned for exciting events as they unfold, Hot Chicks and Smart Men. I'm sure it's going to be a BLAST.

___________
*Don't some people believe that on the day of Rapture, dead folks will be bodily transported to heaven? That makes them zombies, yes? And what the hell happens to those who have been cremated? Reconstitution, like in an MRE? Or are they just shit out of luck? Inquiring minds want to know!

Miscellany

Monday, May 16, 2011
1. So Donald Trump, that font of knowledge and wisdom on all things public policy, has decided not to run for President. How shocking. And in other news, water is wet.

2. I'm currently listening to The Great Influenza by John M. Barry, and this is some scary shit. Seriously. All I can think of was the time my ship was docked in Jebel Ali (that's in the United Arab Emirates, for those who are geography challenged), and a sandstorm stirred up some nasty virus that went through every ship on the waterfront like wild fire. The sand virus was bad enough (70% of the crew was ill), but at least no one died.

3. The clothes dryer started making disturbing rattling noises today while my Hot Daughter was doing her laundry. The dryer's almost ten years old, and this will be it's second repair. This does not bode well. The repair dude or dudette will be here tomorrow afternoon.

4. I have an on-site meeting tomorrow. Which means I'll be required to leave the house and interact with other human beings. Wearing something besides a tank top and shorts, evidently. Corporate America is SO DEMANDING.

5. Zakk Wilde has a very distinctive and unusual voice. I like it, but I liked him a lot more before I discovered he agreed to do "American Idol." Is nothing sacred?

6. This is quite possibly the COOLEST THING I WILL SEE THIS WEEK. Good luck, STS-134 crew.

Free Shit Friday Winner...

Sunday, May 15, 2011
...of City at the End of Time is Juan, with a random number of "7."

Juan, I can't find your new address, so if you want me to send it directly to you (instead of to the HOMESTEAD), please send the address again.

Enjoy!

2011 Flower Pr0n

Saturday, May 14, 2011

I have to ask...

Friday, May 13, 2011
Why in the Sam Hell did Newt Gingrich decide to run for President? No, really - why? He doesn't have a snowball's chance in the upcoming Armageddon of winning, and in fact no one in the Republican party polls more negatively - among Republicans - than ole Newt and (of course!) that dumbass Sarah Palin.

Is it some grand plot on the part of actual, you know, viable candidates, for him to act as a foil?

Ah, election politics. How I've missed you. NOT.

Free Shit Friday - City at the End of Time

City at the End of Time, by Greg Bear. Hardcover, First Edition, autographed by the author.

"In a time like the present, three young people dream of the fabulous ruins of a decaying city somewhere in the distant future: the Kalpa. The dreams of Ginny and Jack overtake them without warning, leaving their bodies behind while carrying their consciousnesses forward, into the minds of two inhabitants of the Kalpa - a would-be warrior, Jebrassy, and an inquisitive explorer, Tiadba - who have been genetically retroengineered to possess qualities of ancient humanity. In turn, the dreams of Tiadba and Jebrassy carry them back, into the minds of Jack and Ginny. As for the dreams of Daniel, they are even stranger and more disquieting. Hunted by others with similar powers who seek the sum-runners on behalf of a fearsome godlike entity, Ginny, Jack, and Daniel are drawn despite themselves into a mission to rescue the future of their dreams."

Da rules.

Snow...Really?

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Yes, these were taken today, May 12, 2011, only nine days before the scheduled apocalypse.



I suppose I should be less concerned about the imminent freezer burn of my irises and more concerned about the imminent Judgment Day and subsequent Rapture, but you know how it is. In spite of SEEING SIGNS EVERYWHERE, I just can't get too worked up about the latest in a long line of Doomsayers. The constant moving of the goalposts by these yahoos makes ridiculing them almost too easy. That doesn't mean, of course, that I won't make fun of them until the end of time. Which will apparently occur on May 21st of this year.  


But I am disappointed about my irises. Stupid weather.

Recognizing the Villain Within

Tuesday, May 10, 2011
"Few recognize themselves as the villain in anyone else's story. They're always the main character."
This comment was made yesterday by the Incomparable Anne™ in response to my curiosity regarding whether or not a particularly mean girl who made me miserable as a teen ever realized that she was, in fact, a bitch. Like many of Anne's observations, this one got me to thinking - always a disturbing turn of events.

In my early thirties, when I was working hard to affect some fundamental change in my life, I did some mental housecleaning regarding my own behavior and the kind of person I wanted to be. Part of that work was being brutally honest with myself about what kind of person I had become, where I needed to improve, and where my behavior had negatively affected others.

The result of this self-examination was the realization that although my troubles with various relationships weren't ALWAYS my fault, there were certainly circumstances where I was, in fact, the villain in someone else's story. This realization engendered in me a variety of feelings - regret, shame, sadness, and a sincere desire to do better.

I'd really like to think that I'm not unique in this level of self-examination. If I have a desire to be a better human being (for whatever reason), isn't an honest appraisal of my behavior the place I must start, in order to achieve permanent change? If I delude myself about how I've treated others, how can I achieve any level of authenticity as I work toward becoming the person I want to be? If I fail to achieve some level of honesty in terms of my own behavior, how can I move forward to live a life of integrity? To my mind, achieving permanent, substantive change required this level of self-honesty, and I'm quite sure I would not have been successful without it.

I realize that the human brain tends toward cognitive dissonance. To Anne's point, no one wants to see themselves as a villain, and if we're honest with ourselves about our own behavior, it may lead to some very uncomfortable conclusions. For me, those conclusions set me free, and allowed me to build a new life on a solid foundation.

For others, it may not be worth crushing the delusions that make them happy.

Proud to be a Girl Geek...with a Drop of Schadenfreude

Monday, May 9, 2011
You know, I've never attended a high school reunion. I'm in touch with a few folks I knew in my teen years, but mostly from the equestrian youth group where I spent most of my time, and one or two others from high school. I just don't care, and I can't see why anyone would care about what I'm doing, either, almost 30 years after the fact.

Which brings me to an article over on Jezebel called "Why Geek Girls Shall Inherit the Earth." It basically posits that those characteristics that make you successful in high school (conformity, one-upmanship, cliquishness, passivity) are not the things that make you successful as an adult (creativity, originality, free-thinking, vision, resilience, authenticity, self-awareness, integrity, candor, curiosity, love of learning, and courage).

Needless to say, I was (and am) a geek. I was never, by any stretch of the imagination, popular. And I believe the thesis is fundamentally correct.

I haven't really thought much about those girls who gave me crap and made me miserable when I was in high school. I've just never cared enough to find out if they self-destructed, and I can't see the point in giving someone who behaved like a self-involved harpy when we were 15 the energy it takes to wonder if they're ugly, or (still) stupid, or unhappy, or unsuccessful. It's always been enough for me to know that I'm smart, and happy, and successful.

And now I have a confession to make.

After reading that article, I googled the girl who was the bane of my existence when I was 15. And guess what? She's ugly. And fat. And I have to assume (still) stupid. And she has a mediocre job that the Department of Labor reports doesn't pay very well. And while I have no way of knowing if she's personally happy or not, I'm delighted to report that I still don't care, even after satisfying the idle curiosity brought on by reading the article.*

I love my life, and probably won't waste much thought on her for the next 30 years, either. And I'm happy and proud to confirm that my Smart Twins are even geekier than their mother - which I think will be indicative of even more successful adult lives.

Dorks FTW!

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*But I do wonder - did she ever think about her own behavior when we were teens and realize what an awful, horrible, mean bitch she was? Or did cognitive dissonance kick in, and she ended up perceiving herself as a victim? People are WEIRD.

Free Shit Friday Winner...

Sunday, May 8, 2011
...of the Cole Haan clogs is Stacey, with a random number of 1*. Enjoy!


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*See what I did there? Hehe. I kill me.

The Downside of Education

Saturday, May 7, 2011
This week's topic in my Research Methods class is "Ethics in Research." As part of the weekly readings, I watched a talk given by Dr. Vanessa Northington Gamble, an expert on the role of race in American medicine. She spoke about the legacy of the Tuskegee Syphilis Study, and how it has negatively affected both research and outcomes in all areas of health for African Americans due to the complicity of the federal government in human experimentation.

Here's the trouble with being an educated human: instead of being ignorant about how the world works, and thus having some hope that you're misinformed about how much we suck as a community, or a nation, or a species, education provides confirmation of our suckage. Irrefutable proof that our moral compass sometimes points directly to the Tootsie Roll center of the galaxy, a black hole of scum and villainy, with not much hope of redemption.

Explain to me again why I spend so much time and effort on this? Oh...that's right.

Free Shit Friday - Cole Haan Clogs

Friday, May 6, 2011
Here's today's freebie - clogs from Cole Haan, size 8B.

I love the way these clogs look - especially the stitched detail on the sole. Unfortunately, I have a very high instep, and the ring on the top hurts after just a couple hours of wear. I'm at the point in my shoe fetish where my FABULOUS SHOES must be both FABULOUS and COMFORTABLE, and while I'm sure these would be fine for someone without such a high instep, they just don't make the cut for me.

Here's da rules.

PowerPointless

Thursday, May 5, 2011
I'm neck deep in PowerPointless today, preparing a presentation for an upcoming training session I'm giving via the web.

As you all know, I despise PowerPoint with the heat of thousand burning suns. Which makes my having to use it for this session especially ironic, don't you think? It's sort of a sad metaphor for the human condition of being forced to work in the soul-crushing abyss of corporate America when you'd much rather be performing work that contributes to the good in the world.

But we can't all be members of SEAL Team Six, so it's back to the grind for me.

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UPDATE: Turns out the session had been canceled and no one notified me - the presenter. There's several hours of my life I'll never get back. Sigh.

Quote of Day - So What Edition

Wednesday, May 4, 2011
"And while I'm apologizing, I'll bring up something I wrote a long time ago in reference to another topic: I have only a limited reservoir of outrage and indignation when it comes to the various injustices going on at any given moment around the world. The amount of concern that I'm willing to allow to claw at the inside of my brain and leave me in a state of apoplexy adds up to a kind of zero-sum game, and so I have to ration it. I'm sorry, but I just don't have the time or the inclination to worry about whether the rights of Osama bin Laden were respected by the guy who put a round from an M4 through his eye. I simply have better things to do with my life. Sure, maybe that's just my emotional side talking -- but you know something? So what?"

- Chez Pazienza, Deus Ex Malcontent

Um, yes. Just so. While I'm normally the first to champion the rule of law, in this particular case I'm saving my outrage for the victims of his evil - 85% of which, let's recall, were Muslim. Without question, the world's a better place as a result of the actions of SEAL Team Six, and I'll waste no tears on the likes of him.

A Word to the Wise

The "culture wars" and in fact, the "war on terror" are not wars between Christians and Atheists, or Christians and Muslims, or Americans and Arabs. They're wars between radicals and moderates. 

Radicals will go to any length to ensure everyone adheres to their point of view. Moderates won't. It really is that simple, and we would be wise to remember that.

And in other news, the ISI (Pakistan's premier intelligence agency) are lying sacks of shit. Fuck you, Pakistan,* and the horse you rode in on. Christ I hope we pull our aid to those duplicitous motherfuckers. Allies, MY ASS.

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*And by "Pakistan" I mean the government and the ISI, not the Joe Shmoe citizens who are simply trying to raise their families, make a living, and get through the day.

Conspiracy Theory in 5...4...3...2...1...

Monday, May 2, 2011
Yes, yes, they dumped bin Laden's body off the side of a Navy ship. The official reason was that it might be difficult to find a country that would take his worthless carcass for a swift burial, as required by Muslim tradition.

Yeah, that's it. The U.S. government, having spent untold monies on tracking this waste of protoplasm down and administering justice in the form of my shippies, is DREADFULLY CONCERNED about making sure he gets appropriate burial rites. As opposed to...I don't know...preventing his body from being recovered by a) souvenir hunters; b) his sycophantic followers looking for relics of their martyr; or c) all of the above.

I'm sure the Willful Morons™ are already starting their conspiracy crusade to explain why this decision was made - he's not really dead, it was just a ploy to get Obama reelected in 2012, Bush actually had bin Laden killed and Obama's taking the credit, blah, blah, blah.

WHATEVER. Anyone smart enough to pour pee out of a boot can see how this was the only viable decision under the circumstances. Take him, Davy Jones, and let him languish in the obscurity he so richly deserves.

Things That Suggest You May Be a Willful Moron*

  1. You believe you're genetically superior to someone else based solely on the color of your skin. If you truly believe this, you probably do have a genetic legacy of some sort, but I'd suggest it's not what you think it is.

  2. You believe vaccinations cause autism, and that there's some sort of grand conspiracy involving the federal government, the pharmaceutical companies and the medical establishment to keep the TRUTH from the masses. Because evidently what people who have dedicated their lives to public health really want is to embrace infant cognitive injury as a means to "get rich quick." No. Just...no.

  3. You think evolution couldn't possibly be true because it's "just a theory." Really? I'm sorry, but if you can't define a term, you shouldn't use it. Or have an opinion about it. Please go back to High School for a basic definition of the Scientific Method, including the meaning of the word "theory" in this context. Or you can start declining antibiotics and antivirals because germs are "just a theory."

  4. You're convinced the President is actually in office as a result of some sort of Manchurian Candidate conspiracy because he was actually born outside the United States, I don't care what his birth certificate says. Cognitive dissonance for the win!

  5. You believe we didn't really land on the Moon. Because nothing says "Let's win the cold war" like a huge fraud that would almost certainly be found out by the former Soviet Union.

  6. You think homosexuality is a "choice," and that means Teh Gayz aren't entitled to the same rights and protections as other human beings. Won't the Smart Man be disappointed when I "choose" to be a lesbian moving forward so I can be discriminated against and vilified by the religious right. I've got to get me some of that!

  7. You think homeopathy is a real scientific discipline. Water. It's water.
Feel free to add to the list, Hot chicks and smart men. Piling on the Willful Morons is my new favorite activity.

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*You know how I was thinking about breaking up with my casual friends whose political beliefs were so retarded I couldn't see myself continuing the relationship? Well, John Scalzi made a random comment over at Whatever about a list of Things that Suggest you may be a Willful Moron, and I fell in love with the idea. Love, love, love. So I STOLE IT, like the plagiarizing git that I am. I'm sure if he objects I'll get some sort of cease and desist note.

Free Shit Friday Winner...

Sunday, May 1, 2011
...of The Hellfire Club first edition is Eric, with a random number of "3."

I already have your address, so no need to send it again. I'll get your book in the mail when I damn well feel like it, provided this week's trip to Kansas City doesn't result in my shoving an ice pick in my ear. Enjoy!