A Month of Gratitude, Day 24

Friday, December 31, 2010
Even though it's New Year's Eve, I'll be going to bed early this evening - I have to get up at 3:00 a.m. in order to ensure the Smart Sailor makes it to the Airport in time for his 6:00 a.m. flight back to Naval Training Center, Great Lakes.

The Smart Sailor is the last of the guests to make his way home, and in a way the most melancholy. I am incredibly proud of my Smart Sailor, and delighted that he's conducting his adult life in a way that reflects a dedication to honor, courage and commitment. And yet...I do miss him, and passing the torch to my adult children has resulted in a confused panoply of feelings including pride at what fabulous human beings they are, regret that I didn't do a better job as a parent, and terror that I cannot protect them from what they might face in their adult lives. It's the natural order of things*, however, and my joy far outweighs my fear and regret.

Today, I'm grateful that my son has found his way to an adult life where he belongs, where he can be proud of his vocation and his service, and where his unique talents and abilities will be leveraged not only for his benefit, but for the greater good.


__________
*Stupid natural order of things.

A Month of Gratitude, Day 23

Thursday, December 30, 2010
I listen to a lot of NPR via Podcast. I subscribe to Fresh Air, Tell Me More, All Songs Considered, and about twelve others.

I love NPR. Their journalists actually practice, you know, journalism. There's no screaming. The editorials are clearly identified as such. The programing includes stories from all over the world, not just the United States. The quality reflects the passion of the participants, and rightly so - no one gets rich working for public radio.

Today I'm grateful to have access to Public Radio, and to the men and women who make listening to it such a worthwhile endeavor.

A Month of Gratitude, Day 22

Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Last night we went to our favorite restaurant, Junz, for sushi, a delightful assortment of cooked dishes, and wonderful company. We kept the assembled down to a dull roar with only 11 participants, both family and friends.

We had a wonderful time. It warmed my heart to see our families and friends get to know one another better, as these people are the core of my life, and mean more to me than anything in this world.

Today, I'm grateful to be blessed with a cadre of amazing people who cocoon my life with love, laughter, support and friendship.

A Month of Gratitude, Day 21

Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Today the Smart Man and I are taking his family to the Denver Museum of Nature of Science. I love that museum - for three generations my family has grown up there.

My Hot Mom spent her girlhood there, as entrance was free in those days, and she could walk there. When I was in elementary school, I took school trips there frequently, as well as outings with my parents. My own kids spent many happy hours there as youngsters, since we had a family membership and it was an inexpensive way to spend a Sunday in the years when I had no money.

Today, I'm grateful to have a high quality science institution in my city that makes a considered effort to support STEM among our population, and makes it affordable for families to take advantage of all it has to offer.

A Month of Gratitude, Day 20

Monday, December 27, 2010
Today the Smart Man and I will be taking his family on a driving tour of Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. It's a lovely park, and I like the fact that they've created the driving trails in a way that people who can't walk for long distances can still get a sense of the park from their car. We took the Smart Man's Grandma there a number of years ago, and you'll recall that the UCF made a trip there last year, as well.

Today, I'm grateful to live in a beautiful state, full of the wonders of our natural world.

A Month of Gratitude, Day 19

Sunday, December 26, 2010
I have a number of friends who suffer from mental illness. Mostly their diseases are under control - anxiety, depression and various degrees of OCD. I myself have had episodes of clinical depression in my life, and have received treatment for it.

I can't imagine anything lonelier than having a condition that disintegrates your personality and having the wider world consider it your fault rather than a disease that requires compassion and treatment.

Today, I'm grateful that the stigma of mental illness is easing in our society, and that victims can receive the medication, talk therapy and other forms of treatment they require to life healthy, productive lives.

A Month of Gratitude, Day 18

Saturday, December 25, 2010
Today I'll be celebrating Christmas with my family. My Hot Mom, the Smart Man, the Smart Sailor, the Smart Girl, my Hot MIL, my Smart BIL and his Awesome, Awesome Wife and about eighteen other relatives from my weird and wonderful extended family.

Today I'm grateful to have so many people I love to celebrate the holiday with. Merry Christmas, Hot Chicks and Smart Men.

A Month of Gratitude, Day 17

Friday, December 24, 2010
This holiday season, the Smart Man's family will be joining us here at the Big Yellow House. My Hot MIL is flying in this morning, and my Smart BIL and his Awesome, Awesome Wife are flying in late tonight.

I love the Smart Man's family. His mother, brother and sister-in-law are all decent, hardworking people who have included me in their family without hesitation. My Hot MIL essentially raised her two sons by herself, amid hard economic times. My Smart BIL is bright, funny and a major geek. And as much as I respect and admire my Smart BIL, he totally married UP when his Awesome, Awesome Wife agreed to his proposal.

Today, I'm grateful to have married into a family where I actively look forward to visiting with my in-laws. 

A Month of Gratitude, Day 16

Thursday, December 23, 2010
The Incomparable Boogie™, happy, healthy and newly shaved.
Yesterday the Incomparable Boogie™ went to see his groomer and had a bath and a haircut. He was a month overdue, since we had to cancel his November appointment due to his foot surgery.

Unfortunately, Jaye had to shave his legs, as wearing that bandage for five weeks had matted the hair on his leg beyond help. Boogie doesn't mind, however - he's just happy to have resumed his daily walkies.

Today, I'm grateful that my older pooch is back in good health and is exhibiting his normal zest for life, joy in his daily activities, and sweet disposition.

A Month of Gratitude, Day 15

Wednesday, December 22, 2010
In the mid to late nineties, I spent a lot of time being afraid. I could barely pay my bills, my personal life was an absolute mess, and, in retrospect, I was clinically depressed. Of course, all of those things were direct results of the choices I had made, and continued to make.

Thankfully, I was honest enough with myself to see and admit the cause and effect relationship between my choices and my life, and I made some decisions. I would get my act together on a personal level. I would continue to work my ass off on a professional level in order to achieve some financial security. And I would live my life without fear.

That's not to say that I waved a magic wand and suddenly became courageous. Far from it. What it meant to me was that when I needed to make a decision or choose a behavior, I would ask myself, "Are you doing this or making this decision because you're afraid?" If the answer was "yes," I would reevaluate my decision, and more often than not, change my mind.

It took a number of years for this new behavior to become a habit rather than a struggle. After all, there are so many things to be afraid of - what if I lose my job, my relationship, my mind? What if my kids get sick, what if I get hurt, what if my car blows up? What if I fail?

But eventually, the tenor of my decisions began to change. I began to to make decisions based on what the possible positive outcomes of the decision may be, rather than the possible negative outcomes. I don't think I was ever careless or irresponsible in my decision making, but taking considered risks in both my professional and personal lives have led to a life that I love, and has given the courage to pick myself up and try again when I do fail.

Today, I'm thankful to be living a life where fear doesn't rule my life, my decisions, or my relationships.

A Month of Gratitude, Day 14

Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Tomorrow morning, the President of the United States will be signing into law the repeal of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT) policy that has governed the issue of gay Americans in our military since the Clinton administration.

It's no secret how I feel about equal rights for the LGBT community. It's no secret that I think the Family Research Council and organizations like it are bigoted asshats who earn a grade of FAIL when asked the question "What would Jesus do." It's no secret that I think the repeal of DADT is the right and honorable thing to do. This is a subject on which I have strong opinions, informed by my personal experience, my emotional investment in the LGBT community and my own ethical standards.

But that doesn't mean I'm not a realist about how very hard implementing this new policy is going to be. There are legitimate policy decisions that must be made in light of the new policy, and people of good conscience have wildly divergent opinions. Reaching a compromise everyone can live with is going to be tough.

Sea change is never easy. The integration of our Armed Forces was a bear. The gradual easing of restrictions on women's service is still ongoing, and while the institutionalized sexism that marked my own service is on the run, make no mistake that it's still there. As gay men and lesbian service members come out of the closet and choose to live openly, they will be subject to harassment, discrimination and ostracism. Being "first" sucks, and while the work of these pioneers is absolutely necessary, my heart aches for them as I contemplate what they will face. Once the integration is complete and the culture has changed, it will be worth it, but the road will be long, and painful.

Today, I'm grateful our country has chosen the high road in repealing DADT, rather than the easy road in allowing it to continue. It's the right thing to do.

A Month of Gratitude, Day 13

Monday, December 20, 2010
I have a pal from my days in the Navy. We served together on the USS JASON in the early '90's, and she helped to initiate me to Chief Petty Officer when I was selected to that rank.

I'm speaking, of course, of occasional commenter and long-time pal The Mechanicky Gal.

As friends do, over the years we celebrated each others' sorrows and triumphs, and recognized each others' birthdays with gifts. As the years went on, however, we found ourselves having to work harder and harder to find appropriate prezzies for each other. We have wildly divergent taste, and as we became more and more financially successful, we tended to just buy what we wanted for our homes and such. In other words, we really didn't need any more stuff.

So a number of years ago, we discussed the matter and decided that instead of continuing to spend money on stuff, we would collaborate and try to do something good for the world. And the "Amy and Janiece, Hot Chicks on a Mission" Kiva Lending Page was born.

We have specific criteria for our loans - we only lend to the ladiez*. We prefer the ladiez to be either single, widowed or divorced. If they're supporting children, so much the better. We make an effort to lend to ladiez who live in countries where women are treated like second-class citizens. Because apparently we enjoy sticking it to the man.

So far, we've loaned to 91 different women, for a total of $2,275.00. We replenish our fund each Christmas and on our birthdays, and reloan on a monthly basis as the ladiez pay us back.

Today, I'm grateful to have a friend with whom I can share my philanthropic tendencies, and who sees the value in helping other women build their businesses, their lives and their communities. Ladiez FTW!

__________
*It amuses us to spell it "ladiez." Shut up.

A Month of Gratitude, Day 12

Sunday, December 19, 2010
Today is my Hot Mom's birthday. She's 70, and yesterday we held a big shindig up in Longmont to celebrate this milestone.

It wasn't a surprise party, as I wanted her to have input on the event. But there were a few surprises - the Smart Sailor was able to get home leave for the holiday, and came in on Friday. He agreed to conspire with us not to mention this fact to Mom, who was then surprised when he arrived, in uniform, with a dozen roses for his Grandma. A member of her former work crew, a friend she's known for 25 years, was able to come, and also "decorated" her home for the occasion, with a surreptitious assist from me. My fabulous Great Aunt Margie made the trip from Holyoke to attend. And all of her family and friends contributed to a memory book containing photos, well wishes and descriptions of what she's meant to us.

My father died when I was 26 years old. So my Hot Mom has been my only parent for over half my adult life.

Today I'm grateful to have a parent who is not only still with me, but is spry, mentally acute, active, takes good care of herself and touches the lives of those around her in a way that makes the world a much better place simply by having been in it.

Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you.

A Month of Gratitude, Day 11

Saturday, December 18, 2010
Earlier this week, a member of my online community, the UCF, lost a member of her extended family. Being the official keeper of the UCF Widows and Orphans Fund, I sent an arrangement on behalf of the group.

It's been kind of a rough year for the UCF. There has been family deaths, unemployment, someone's house burned down, and a variety of other tragedies, both great and small. But there have been triumphs, too, and the common factor in all of those things is that the group offers friendship, love and support, regardless of what's going on.

Today, I'm grateful for the strange, weird, wildly diverse group that is my blog circle - the UCF. No one can hijack a conversation like you all, and you make my daily life easier, more joyful, and I'm a better person for having known each of you.

A Month of Gratitude, Day 10

Friday, December 17, 2010
Yesterday I got word that my boss and his wife delivered their first child - 13 weeks early. So far, things look good for them, although their son will be in the NICU for quite some time as he continues to grow and develop.

This is going to be a scary time for them, and one with which I'm intimately familiar. The Smart Twins were born nine weeks early by cesarean section, and spent the first five weeks of their life in the Balboa Naval Hospital NICU. I remember vividly how bone-crushingly terrifying that time was, and the Smart Twins weren't even that sick. I was then, and remain now, acutely aware that had I been born in a different time, it's likely all three of us would have died.

Today, I'm grateful to live in a society that has the infrastructure to support the modern medicine that has saved my life again and again, and the lives of those I love. Bonus gratitude: Me and mine have always had access to that modern medicine.

A Month of Gratitude, Day 9

Thursday, December 16, 2010
This week has consisted of some really long days for me. I've been getting up a 5:00 a.m. to get to the conference on time, and I haven't been getting home until almost 7:00 p.m. Since I've been doing a little work before I leave and after I get home, I haven't had much time for anything else.

Which is why it's awesome that I have the Smart Man. He's been doing all the chores, taking care of the Incomparable Boogie™, and cooking dinner in my absence so we can eat together when I get home.

Today, I'm thankful to have a partner who cheerfully looks after me when I need it.

A Month of Gratitude - Day 8

Wednesday, December 15, 2010
I grew up in a household full of readers. There were books in every room, books for Christmas, books on every nightstand. Science Fiction, non-fiction, westerns, thrillers, mysteries, fantasy, literature - the only genre not represented was romance.

So by the time I was a teenager, I was a reader, too, and it's a pleasure and a hobby that has stuck with me my whole life. I read on my Kindle, with my iPod, on my Blackberry. I'd read in my sleep in I could stay conscious.

So the fact that so many of the humans on this planet can't read and write simply boggles my mind.

Today, I'm grateful for the gift of literacy, and for the love of reading engendered in me by my family.

A Month of Gratitude - Day 7

Tuesday, December 14, 2010
This week I've been assigned to a contact center "boot camp," which entails 12 hour days with no time for exercise or leisure activities. I'm not used to commuting (yes, I know - me and my first world problems), and my latest RFP is still lurking around like a starving vulture eying me as a slowly crawl through the desert.

Usually these kinds of situations make me cranky and short tempered, as the stress has a cumulative effect on my mood.

However, I have hope that this time will be more manageable. Because I actually sleep at night, on a semi-regular basis.

Today, I'm grateful that my chronic insomnia is finally under control. It gives me the chance to better manage change and stress in my life. Bonus: NeuronDoc, who encouraged me to do something about it, instead of continuing to suffer.

A Month of Gratitude - Day 6

Monday, December 13, 2010
I am teaching my Hot Daughter to drive, and yesterday was her second lesson. Aside from an inadvertent turn onto a road far larger and busier than she was comfortable with and an unfortunate accident with a now-late squirrel, it's been far less stressful than I would have anticipated.

Historically, it's never been easy between my Hot Daughter and me - we both spent her teen years being angry and hurt. Things are better now, though, especially since we've both adopted the attitude that being right is not nearly as important as being family.

Today I'm grateful to have the opportunity to rebuild my relationship with my Hot Daughter on a foundation of trust, respect and mutual support. Profoundly grateful. Thanks, Baby Girl.

A Month of Gratitude - Day 5

Sunday, December 12, 2010
Yesterday, the Smart Man and I had a number of errands to run. Normally errands are just a boring part of life maintenance, but one of our stops yesterday was our local Target, where we spent time filling up a shopping cart with a variety of toys. We then went to our local Toys for Tots collection point to drop off the haul. Our collection point (the Parker location of Keller Automotive) had so many donations the boxes were overflowing and piles of loot had taken over the entire back half of their waiting area.

Today, I'm grateful I have the means to support not only a nice Christmas for my own family, but for others' as well. The bonus? I live in a community that feels the same way.




Semper Fi, Santa Claus.

A Month of Gratitude - Day 4

Saturday, December 11, 2010
Yesterday was my annual performance evaluation. Like most large companies, my employer uses an esoteric blend of measurable goals (did I reach my revenue objective, did I maintain my professional certifications) and subjective opinion (am I bold, do I make fact based decisions) to reach a performance measure.

The entire process usually makes me roll my eyes just a bit - either I'm doing what I'm supposed to do, or I'm not, and if I'm not, I sincerely hope my boss would let me know before my annual performance review. Like porn, people know good employees when they see them, and typically react accordingly.

This year, my boss told me that one of my main strengths was the fact that I "hold myself and others accountable." I found this ironic because back in my school days, this characteristic of mine was often described as being a pushy bitch.

Today, I'm grateful I live and work in a culture that is making progress in seeing value in my contributions to the team without applying gender-specific stereotypes.

Bonus gratitude: I got a small raise, too, which I'll be pushing directly into my 401K.

A Month of Gratitude - Day 3

Friday, December 10, 2010
A couple weeks ago, I found out that a local engineer at my company lost his son, a Marine, in combat operations in Afghanistan. Naturally, our veterans organization mobilized, and started taking contributions. Because the young man had no wife or children, his father asked that donations be made to the Wounded Warrior Project in his son's name.

As I was sending my donation, my throat closed up and my chest tightened. I could easily be in this father's shoes, and people could be making donations to the Wounded Warrior Project in my son's name.

Today, I'm grateful that no member of my family has ever been called upon to make this sacrifice.

A Month of Gratitude - Day 2

Thursday, December 9, 2010
Yesterday I got a little wrapped around the axle over some entitled, right-wing douchebag's defrauding of the federal government in order to express his outrage over those greedy, lazy, good-for-nothing food stamp recipients who feed their families on $133.00 a month. One of the reasons I got so mad is because the author of the original piece has probably never gone hungry a day in his life, and has no idea what food insecurity is like.

And neither have I.

So today, I'm grateful that I've always had enough to eat, and never had to worry about what I was going to feed my kids.

A Month of Gratitude

Wednesday, December 8, 2010
I have a good friend who, like me, is not a big fan of the holiday season. The weather and the constant barrage of crappy holiday music, along with a unstated expectation that everyone should "be of good cheer" tends to wear me down. Add the fact that December is almost always insanely busy for me from a professional perspective, and I usually just CAN'T WAIT FOR IT TO BE OVER.

In an effort to lighten the mood my friend has decided to try a new goal - to find (and post) a daily gratitude for the rest of the month.

Since I'm short on time and blog fodder this month, I've decided to steal her idea, and try and do the same.


So for today, I'm grateful that in spite of my daily stresses, I have a job for which I'm uniquely qualified and that gives me a sense of purpose and sufficient financial resources to lead the life I want. There are plenty of people for whom that cannot be said, especially in the last two years, and I'm thankful not to be among them.


_________
H/T to the lovely and intelligent Jeri for the inspiration.

Remembering December 7th

Tuesday, December 7, 2010
For the small subsection of my readers who don't also already read Jim Wright's Stonekettle Station, may I recommend that you run, don't walk, over there to read his 2007 blog post on Remembering December 7th? It's simply the best description I've ever read about how our military's Senior Non-Commissioned Officers view their responsibilities and what we all aspired to be.

A fine piece of writing, Warrant. Thank you.

Hiatus (Sort Of)

I'm a bit under the gun for the rest of the month. Between the Vortex of Suck, a training "boot camp" next week that is going to require 10-12 hour days, my Hot Mom's 70th birthday bash, and a planned holiday-palooza with the Smart Man's family, I'm not entirely certain how much time I'll have for blogging.

Yes, yes, I can hear the peanut gallery now - "You always say that, and then end up blogging more than you do when you're not busy!"

Well, yes, I suppose that's true, but if I actually end up NOT BLOGGING and I don't warn you, then where will we be? I'll tell you - I'll end up getting e:mails from people wondering why their dancing monkey is falling down on the job. And if I don't have time to blog, then I certainly don't have time to respond to multiple inquiries about my blogging suckage.

So I'm indulging in a preemptive strike. You have been warned. And so have I.

The Company You Keep

Monday, December 6, 2010
Like many people, I have a number of people with whom I am "friends" on Facebook that I know only casually. Some of them I met through work, some I knew many years ago and we've recently reconnected, and some are friends of friends. The one thing they have in common is that I don't know them very well.

So Facebook provides an interesting window into those individual's lives, and the lives of their friends, through comments. Which brings me to the point, and an addition to my list of Seven (now Eight) Things That Make Me Judge You:

If you have friends in your social network who make bigoted comments on your Facebook wall or on your blog, and you remain silent, I'm going to assume that silence is acceptance and judge you accordingly. In other words, I'll think you're a bigot yourself, or you tolerate bigotry, or you lack the moral courage to stand up when you see bigotry in your own space. And I'm going to drop you like a hot rock.
To a certain extent, people are judged by the company they keep, and their reaction to that company. If you choose to tolerate bigoted shitbaggery in your personal space, what, exactly, am I supposed to think about who you are? When it comes to this sort of behavior, tolerance is NOT a virtue - ethical and moral standards demand that we act.

When people show you who they are, believe them.

2010 Flower Pr0n - Wildflower Edition

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Boogie Blogging Friday - He's Baa-aack!

Friday, December 3, 2010

And the Incomparable Boogie™ isn't too excited about this turn of events.

While Demento Dog has become accustomed to staying with us over the years, it seems that Boogie becomes less impressed by his presence with each visit. Of course, between his clubfoot bandage, a lack of a bath and haircut, and a newly diagnosed ear infection that's giving his left ear a port side list, Boogie currently looks like a special ed student. Perhaps he feels it's mean of us to invite his nemesis into his demesnes while he's not feeling his best.
 

Still in the Vortex of Suck

Wednesday, December 1, 2010
How are you?

Since I'm being forced to leave the house and interact with other human beings, I'm starting to feel just slightly overwhelmed with my personal and professional responsibilities. This is normal for me - it happens whenever my natural inclination towards hermitage is thwarted by LIFE. I'll get over it once I have time to shut out the world for a while.

I'm out and about again today - don't burn the place down in my absence.

The Vortex of Suck and Other Matters

Tuesday, November 30, 2010
The Vortex of Suck

Guess what I got last week? You guessed it - another RFP. I have now officially been drawn into the Vortex of Suck. If I don't emerge before the end of December, please send in the Search and Rescue team. But make sure they don't have any technical skills or I'll be tempted to make a Devil's bargain and leave them there in my place. And no one wants that.

Seriously, how come proposal managers don't just indiscriminately engage in homicidal massacres after answering the same banal, non pertinent question for the 8,000th time?

Science is Cool*

So the Smart Man and I bought a new bed as part of the bedroom remodel. We selected one of those Memory Foam mattresses, and we slept in it last night for the first time.

Those things are cool. Once you've laid there for a while, the material cradles your body like a cocoon. Of course that also means that when you try and get up you flounder around like a turtle on your back, but with a front end loader, really, it's no problem.

Antisocial Me

Not only am I traveling more this fiscal year than in years past, I'm also having to actually leave the house and spend time with other human beings even when I'm not traveling. In a way this is good, as I really do need to get out more (even though I don't want to admit it). But really - who wants to be around other people? Mostly they just suck, and if I have to attend business meetings, you just know I'm spending most of the time with snotty and completely irresponsible commentary running through my head. If I ever develop a cognitive condition that removes my mental filters, I am fucked. 

So I'll be in and out of the house for the next several weeks attending meetings, some internal, some external.

Call the Men in the White Coats

So from a work perspective, December is shaping up to be a real HOOT. As in, running around like a crazy person hooting and hollering and giggling to myself. Hee. Hee, hee.

_________
*Memory Foam was developed by NASA. So we have a Space Bed! Yes, we are easily amused, thanks for asking.

Happy Anniversary, Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men

Monday, November 29, 2010
Three years.

1,710 entries.

160,593 visitors.

235,267 page views.

More trolls than I care for, but probably less than I deserve.

A wholly disturbing statistic where my most popular entry is the 'Tard of the Week entry on whackadoo Andrew D. Basiago.

And an incredible, amazing on-line community who has made this endeavor worthwhile, rewarding and just plain fun.*

Thanks, Hot Chicks and Smart Men, for joining me for this experiment, and enriching my life with your presence. 


_____________
*Except for the time when a raving douchebag threatened to sue me and take away my life savings for having the temerity to call him a name. That wasn't much fun. Except in retrospect. Now that the statute of limitations has run out. And the raving douchebag in question? Yeah, you're still out of your gourd, Mr. McNuttypants! < -- Name that reference!

2010 Flower Pr0n - Wild Flower Edition

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Incomparable Boogie™ - On the Mend

Saturday, November 27, 2010
The pathology report is in on the lesion the vet excised from Boogie's pad. Turns out it's a non-cancerous vein cluster that sometimes appears in non-healing wounds. Surgical removal is the only option to get the wound to heal, so the expectation is that since the vet excised it all, Boogs will heal up in the next three weeks or so and then resume his normal activities, none the worse for wear.

And no, he does not consider a trip to the vet's for a bandage change a suitable substitute for daily walkies, thankyouverymuch. Clearly, the Smart Man and I continue to suck as doggie parents.

What the Fuck is Wrong With These People? - Joe Rehyansky Edition

In a stunning revelation which proves that higher education does not necessarily require good judgment, critical thinking skills, or even basic intelligence, Tennessee Judge Joe Rehyansky has published his oh-so-thoughtful plan for solving the problem of teh Gayz in our military:
Gays spread disease at a rate out of all proportion to their numbers in our population and should be excluded from the military...Shouldn’t the overwhelmingly straight warriors who answer their county’s call be spared the indignity of showering with other men who achieve lascivious enjoyment from the sight of those lithe naked bodies, and who may be tempted to seek more than the view...My solution would get the distaff part of our homosexual population off our collective ‘Broke Back,’ thus giving straight male GIs a fair shot at converting lesbians and bringing them into the mainstream.
The article also indicates "Lesbian military personnel, who Mr Rehyansky praised for their “medical and administrative specialties”, should be allowed to serve because they apparently have low sex drives."

Oh. My. God. The sheer wrongheadedness inherent in these comments is so wide and deep, I'm afraid that if I try to address it in any depth I'll fall in and the synopses in my brain will drown in a sea of ignorance.

Rape. To "cure" lesbians of their deviance. Women, who voluntarily put themselves in harm's way, relegated to the 1960's stereotype of "medical and administrative specialties."

The mind boggles. I guess all those years I served as a Communications Securities System custodian, having direct and personal responsibility for every cryptographic code in the Pacific Arena, was a delusion of my ladybrain. My actual duty was fluttering my eyelashes and looking attractive for the edification of the "straight warriors" in whose midst I was privileged to find myself. My Hot Daughter? I now know that she just CAN'T WAIT to be "converted" by a straight male GI so she can become more MAINSTREAM.

ARGH! THE STUPID! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!

Turns out that Judge Rehyansky is a retired Army officer. Can you imagine serving under this misogynist fuck-knuckle? THIS guy is the reason women who have served our country suffer from non-combat related PTSD simply from serving. THIS guy is the reason episodes like Tailhook occurred in a culture of "boys will be boys." THIS guy is the reason that thousands of female veterans have a twisted sense of what constitutes sexual harassment.

What the fuck is wrong with this stupid mother fucker? Was he molested as a child and now conflates pedophilia with homosexuality? Dropped on his head as a baby? Does he have some sort of cognitive defect that prevents him from thinking critically or perceiving women as anything more than overgrown children who were born for his pleasure? I don't know, and quite frankly, I don't give a good goddamn. What I do know is that Joe Rehyansky has now moved to the top of the list of people who really need to either die in a fire or be punched in the throat for the good of the race.

___________
H/T to my Hot Mom.

Working My Ass Off, and Apparently, I Hate My Dog

For the first time in a very long time, yesterday I didn't have time to blog. Stupid life, interfering with my duties as your dancing monkey.

The Smart Man and I are redecorating the master bedroom this weekend, and we decided that yesterday we would work and work and work, in the hopes that we might actually have some time to enjoy the long weekend today and tomorrow.

Well, we accomplished the goal of working yesterday, moving all the furniture out, applying two coats of paint, ordering new bedroom furniture, running to Home Depot, etc., etc. I'm not sure if today and tomorrow will be fun-filled, however. We still need to apply the accent color, paint the trim, etc., etc. Plus, Boogie the Giant Schnauzer has to go to the vet this morning for a bandage change.

Speaking of the Incomparable Boogie™, we missed Boogie Blogging Friday yesterday, and apparently his surgery (and the requisite $550.00 bill) were a figment of my imagination. After two days of gimping around, he suddenly decided his paw DOESN'T HURT AT ALL, REALLY, and WHY CAN'T WE GO FOR WALKIES? WHY? WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?

Judging by the put-upon moaning and groaning and the associated longing glances at his leash, I've evidently been judged and found wanting as Boogie's doggie mom. Since it will probably be three weeks until he's permitted to walk again, I'm steeling myself for a long December.

Giving Thanks

Thursday, November 25, 2010
Here in the United States, it's somewhat traditional to use the Thanksgiving holiday to reflect on those aspects of your life for which you're thankful.

As I noted earlier in the week, I have to say that this is the best time of my life. I want for nothing, and the only thing I can think of that would make my life better would be suddenly becoming independently wealthy so I could devote myself full time to college and volunteer work.

So I'm grateful. Grateful that I live in a country where I have the freedom to pursue the things that make me happy. Grateful that I have financial security, so I don't have to worry about keeping a roof over my head and food in my belly. Grateful that I have my health, and the ability to maintain it. And most of all I'm grateful for the people in my life, who make everything worthwhile.

Happy Thanksgiving, Hot Chicks and Smart Men.

Boogie Update

Wednesday, November 24, 2010
So Boogie had his toe surgery yesterday. The vet essentially "cored" the lesion out of his pad, then sutured the edges of the wound to keep it closed. Thankfully, they were able to perform the procedure with a local only, no sedation. He has a terrible time shaking off sedatives, plus they're hard on his kidneys.

He's limping pretty heavily, as the toe is weight bearing and I expect it's sore as hell. He's currently taking antibiotics and pain killers, which are making him sleepy.

As you can see, I have him down in the basement with me, comfortably ensconced with his blankie, his pillow and his food and water. I don't think he needs to be running up and down the stairs all day.

The biopsy results will probably take a week or so due to the holiday, so we won't know the status on the lesion until next week. The stitches will have to stay in for about three weeks simply due to the location, so it's bed rest for Boogie for a while. Of course, he's not impressed with this turn of events, but I'm playing the "Doggie Mom knows best" card, and forcing him to stay quiet.

Thanks to everyone who sent their well-wishes on Facebook and Twitter. I know I'm ridiculously soft when it comes to my Boogie Dog, and I appreciate the support.

Atheist Assholes

Tuesday, November 23, 2010
It took me many, many years to reach the conclusion that I'm an Atheist. After spending four years in parochial school, after exploring and studying every major religion, accepting the null hypothesis that is Atheism is the only thing that makes sense to me. For me, the choice came down to being an intellectually honest Atheist, or continuing to try and force my brain and my belief into something wholly unsatisfying. So I'm an Atheist.

The reasons it took me so long to reach this conclusion are myriad, but one of the contributing factors was that my exposure to Atheists gave me a less than flattering opinion of Atheists as a group. The Atheists in the public eye were typically supercilious, self-righteous, arrogant in their certitude, and generally just assholes. In other words, they were no better people than the evangelicals who insisted I was going to burn because I refused to sacrifice my intellectual honesty on their alter.

It took me far longer than it should have to realize that not all Atheists were sanctimonious prick-bags. In fact, the majority were simply living their lives, doing their best to make a difference in this world, because they didn't believe there was a world beyond this one. Not all Atheists feel the need to wear their non belief on their sleeves, telling people of faith how stupid they are, how gullible they are, how much better the Atheist community is because they've cut faith from their lives.

I resisted admitting I was an Atheist because I didn't want the people I knew and respected to think I was an Atheist asshole.

Finally realizing that Atheist and asshole were not mutually inclusive terms freed me to look at the world with a lot more charity. If you're a good person, and comport yourself in a way that does credit to your humanity, the fact that you believe your symbolic underwear protects you from harm does not take that grace away from you. If you spend your life in service to others, and make their lives better by your acts, then the fact that you practice ritualistic cannibalism does not make your good works less worthy of my respect.

While I still try and maintain a level of intellectual honesty that precludes my respecting religious belief in a "young earth" and other forms of self-deception, I'm learning that I can disrespect ideas and belief and still respect other things about people of faith.

So, no, I'm not offended when people of faith say "bless you" when they thank me for a kindness. I'm not offended when people of faith say they'll pray for me when I suffer some setback or loss. I take such gestures in the spirit they are intended, and thank those believers for their good will. And in the spirit of mutual respect, I expect people of faith to recognize that not all Atheists are assholes.

My Cup Runneth Over

Monday, November 22, 2010
I was trying to think of something to blog about today, and the only thing I could think of was how great my life is right now.

I have an amazing helpmate who is truly my partner in this life. I have two great kids who are both making excellent decisions and becoming contributing members of society. I have a super Mom whose health remains good. I have a weird, wonderful extended family. I have a cadre of astonishing friends who have chosen to bless me with their presence in my life. I have a job that I like that meets my financial needs.

In spite of the vagaries of middle age, I've decided this is the best time of life. My cup runneth over, and this overabundance of good fortune is a good problem to have.

2010 Flower Pr0n - Wild Flower Edition

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Doing the Right Thing

Saturday, November 20, 2010
I really, really dislike bullies. I don't really care much why someone chooses to behave in a bullying fashion, I just break out the Shovel of Doom™ and start a-swinging.

Standing up to bullies is always the right thing to do. It doesn't really matter if they're stronger than you, or if doing so is against the rules, or if your action results in getting your ass kicked. It's worth it, and it always matters.

When I was about 13, I attended a private school. I took a bus to school, which served grades 1-8. I shared my bus stop with a variety of other kids, including two brothers named Craig and Hodd, aged 11 and 6. When a new student started using our bus stop, he proceeded to try and bully Craig and Hodd. This was not an acceptable outcome to me, so I acted. Of course my Hot Mom was called to the principle's office to discuss my inappropriate behavior. Apparently kicking someone's ass at the bus stop for bullying a first grader is a violation of the rules, even if they are bigger and stronger than you. The principle was told to punish me for fighting if she saw fit to do so, but my Hot Mom wasn't going to support that course of action. I did the right thing, and my Hot Mom wasn't going to punish me for it.

Lesson learned: While responsible adults adhere to the social contract for the good of the whole, there are absolutely cases when doing so is not the right thing to do.

Which brings us (once again) to the TSA and their Assembly Line of Shame.

There are a lot of people out there who feel that the new security measures are "no big deal" and that submitting is our "duty" in order to keep us "safe." Wrong, wrong, wrong.
  • It is a big deal. It's a big deal to a lot of people. People like survivors of sexual assault. People whose religious or personal belief has a cornerstone in modesty. People who can see past the end of their noses and realize what a slippery slope you put yourself on when you allow the Federal government to indiscriminately take away your rights. 
  • It is not my "duty" to let some nameless bureaucracy take away my civil rights so they can pad their resume and give the appearance of safety to a bunch of sheeple. As a citizen of this country, my duty is to the Constitution, and these procedures are a clear violation of my Fourth Amendment rights. I should not have to compromise my rights under the Constitution simply to be able to make use of a commercial air carrier. Anytime we compromise the rights guaranteed to us by the Constitution, we give the government a little more power over us. Since 9/11, this trend has continued unabated, and it's simply NOT OKAY.
  • These procedures do not keep us "safe." They're knee-jerk reactions by scared little tyrants addressing known threats in an effort to keep their jobs safe. As my friend Eric notes, these procedures simply help move the target from the aircraft to the security line. That's awesome. Heckofa job, Pistole. You want to impress me? Come up with a system that addresses threats that haven't already been successfully used.
Our federal government has become a bully. A bully who has become accustomed to using fear as their motivation to get their way. I think the TSA is honestly puzzled at the vociferous reaction of the American public to these measures. Why the fuss, American public? You didn't say shit when we passed that incredible piece of crap known as the Patriot Act. You didn't have a cow when we went into cahoots with the telecommunications companies to illegally spy on you and yours. You didn't rise up when we suspended Habeas Corpus for our own convenience. Why the fuss?

Why the fuss, indeed. The Constitution matters. Defending the Constitution matters. Even if you are not personally offended by the invasive measures of the TSA, you should be offended at the abrogation of your Fourth Amendment rights.

For details on how to stand up to the bully that is the Department of Homeland Security, visit the Electronic Frontier Foundation's website. There you'll find links to areas where you can complain directly to the TSA, the DHS, and help outside organizations like the ACLU fight this violation of the Bill of Rights.

Standing up to bullies is the right thing to do. So stop being afraid, and stand up.

Boogie Blogging Friday - Clubfoot Edition

Friday, November 19, 2010
Poor Boogie. He's had a minor wound on one of his pads for the last couple weeks. It was in a tough spot, and when we got home from Chicago and it still hadn't healed much, so off to the vet we went.

His doctor is concerned with not only the slow healing, but the wound's appearance and the way in which it appears to be healing. An external examination suggests Boogs may have a tumor growing in there, although the smear sample was inconclusive. So as a first step, Boogie has been forbidden from walkies and is now wearing this fine padded bandage to take the pressure of the wound in order to give it a chance to heal well. He goes back this afternoon to have the bandage changed and the wound re-examined. Hopefully it'll be healing nicely, and we can move along smartly.

But if it's not, then the vet may have to perform a minor procedure on the pad that will allow him to put in sutures. The vet would also do a biopsy at this time to either confirm or deny that whole "tumor" thing. Giant Schnauzers are quite susceptible to toe tumors, so this is a real concern for him.

I'm not freaking out just yet, since we really don't have enough information to justify me running around naked with my hair on fire. But I have the pre-freakout jitters. Boogie isn't a young dog anymore, and I dread the inevitable.

_________
Update: The vet reports that there has been no appreciable healing, and that he believes the sore is a lesion rather than a wound. As such, his opinion is that it won't heal properly without surgical intervention. Boogie is scheduled for surgery on Tuesday morning, and the vet plans on sending the lesion to pathology for a biopsy.

Thought of the Day

Thursday, November 18, 2010
Life isn't fair, but that doesn't mean you can't be.

Backlash

Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The blogosphere is currently aflame with outrage over the TSA's new invasive procedures. I have friends who consider these procedures to be an aspect of terrorism, and while the head of the TSA bleats on about these activities being a "balance between privacy and security," the bottom line appears to be that the American public is channeling Jean-Luc Picard:
We've made too many compromises already, too many retreats. They invade our space, and we fall back...Not again. The line must be drawn here! This far and no further!
You said it, Captain.

I do not appreciate some random TSA officer essentially groping my Hot Mom because she cannot pass through an airport metal detector without her artificial knee setting it off. I do not appreciate the idea of some nasty TSA officer accidentally "saving" a body scanner image of my Hot Daughter for use as a masturbation aid. And mostly, I simply don't appreciate my government asking me to give up even more of my privacy and civil liberties in exchange for some artificial sense of "safety."

I'm a grown woman. I'm aware of the risks associated with traveling. I'm aware that there are people in the world who want to do me and mine harm, simply for the sin of not agreeing with them. And I'd rather take those risks than sacrifice even more of my Constitutional rights for some artificial sense of security.

My Senators and Representative will be hearing from me on this one.

Digging Out

Tuesday, November 16, 2010
I love vacation. I hate coming back from vacation. It takes me forever to dig out, and it always seems like EVERYTHING FALLS APART IN MY ABSENCE.* Why the Hell couldn't my family have a tradition of being independently wealthy instead of military service? Humph.

In any case, I've been pushed back into the Pit of Despair, otherwise known as Responding to RFP's.  Oh, well. It beats the alternative.


_________
*That's not actually true.

Adventures in Parenting - SO PROUD Edition

Monday, November 15, 2010
For his first non-chow hall meal in two months he chose Red Robin
Friday the Smart Boy graduated from U.S. Navy Boot Camp at the Recruit Training Command in Great Lakes, IL. Naturally, me, the Smart Man, my Hot Mom and my Smart Daughter traveled to watch the ceremony and help him celebrate his achievement.

The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same

Recruit training has changed considerably since they put me through the ringer in 1984. The organizational structure more closely aligns with what sailors will see in the fleet rather than stupidly following the construct of ground forces. Company Commanders are now called "RDC's," and are addressed as either "Petty Officer" or "Chief," rather than "sir" or "ma'am." Work Week is a thing of the past, as Good Will Industries now employs the galley workers and other non skilled labor that is required when supporting that many warm bodies all in one place. Divisions can now be integrated, with men and women training alongside one another. Recruits now participate in what is basically a final exam called "Battle Stations."

This is all to the good, as it more thoroughly prepares recruits for the serious business of our modern Navy.

But in spite of these things, the experience really hasn't changed all that much. The fundamental purpose of the exercise is the same - to take undisciplined, know nothing civilians and turn them into sailors.

Proud of My Smart Sailor

Like most parents who have watched their children make the transition from civilian to military life, I was pleasantly surprised by the changes I saw in my son. Instead of the self-conscious, unsure boy I knew, I was greeted by a young man who exuded the easy self-confidence that comes from voluntarily subjecting yourself to a fundamental challenge and emerging from the crucible a better person than before you went in. Comfortable in his own skin and his new uniform, my son has found his niche, at least for his immediate future. Finding a place where you belong is no small thing.

Naturally, I couldn't be prouder of him as he takes these first steps towards becoming an integral part of the most powerful Navy the world has ever seen. He's no longer my Smart Boy, but my Smart Sailor, fully adult and ready to take his place in the world.

This is the natural order of things, and I wouldn't have it any other way. But I was still a little wistful as we said goodbye on Saturday night, as I shifted my world view once again.

Channeling the Dead

Genetics and experience are a strange combination. My Hot Mom made an observation on Saturday as she watched the Smart Sailor walking. His post Boot Camp gait is exactly the same as my late father's. And I mean EXACTLY. The similarity was so uncanny that it KINDA FREAKED ME OUT, MAN.

I'm sure the similarity is a direct result of the Smart Sailor and my father having the same body type, combined with instruction in marching at an age when the transition to adulthood occurs. My father was a Marine, and like many Marines, he carried his military bearing to his grave. The Smart Sailor's bearing may change as he distances himself from his Boot Camp experience, but for now, I'm celebrating this reminder of my family's military heritage.

On to Bigger and Better Things

The Smart Sailor's next step is to report to Advanced Electronics School, also at Great Lakes. That will probably take until August of next year, when he'll be assigned a "C" School and his first duty station, which he hopes will be an Arleigh Burke class destroyer.

Exciting times. Bravo Zulu, Smart Sailor.

WE ARE SO PROUD.

2010 Flower Pr0n - Wild Flowers

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Sociopathic Me

Saturday, November 13, 2010
Don't you wish that sometimes, just sometimes, you could go off the deep end and behave in some completely sociopathic way?

Anyone? No? Nobody?

I guess it's just me, then. That's unfortunate.

Cool Auntie

Friday, November 12, 2010
The Smart Man and I recently got the news that we're going to be an Aunt and Uncle. That's right - my Smart BIL and his Awesome, Awesome Wife are expecting their first child.
Osh Kosh B'Gosh!

Is there anything cuter than baby shoes?

I can't wait!

I've never gotten a chance to be a cool Auntie before. My own Hot Sister never had children, although she and her husband filled the Cool Aunt and Uncle role admirably for my own Smart Twins. But now it's MY TURN. That kid is going to be so spoiled - I'm in my prime earning years, and the Smart Twins are too young and unstable to have children of their own just yet. So poor Smart BIL and his Awesome, Awesome Wife will bear the brunt of my excess. They don't know the gender yet, but once they find out - WATCH OUT.

Yippee!

Veteran's Day

Thursday, November 11, 2010
Veteran's Day has always had special meaning for me. As I've mentioned before, my family has served this nation in uniform for over 150 years, and we place enormous value on service. So for me, Veteran's Day is a time when I reflect on and celebrate our decision to serve, even though I haven't had the day off for many years.

But this year, it's even more special. It's special because tomorrow my son graduates from U.S. Navy Boot Camp in Great Lakes, Illinois, and begins his Naval career as a Sailor.

I've written before on how very proud I am of my son, and I don't have much to add now.

Non sibi sed patriae, down the generations.

Happy Birthday, Boogie






He's nine years old today. That's seventy in people years for a dog his size, for those of you following along at home.

Happy birthday, you grumpy old man.

The Bus, Let Me Show You It...

Wednesday, November 10, 2010
...so I can throw you beneath it.

Okay, not really. That's not really my style. But I am coming to learn that throwing someone under the bus is not the same thing as failing to rescue them when they repeatedly throw themselves beneath the wheels. There comes a time when "helping" someone perform their daily tasks isn't being a good teammate - it's helping an incompetent retain their job when they should really be doing something more in line with their native abilities. Like being a Wal-Mart greeter, for example.


"I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy."

Indeed.

____________
That snickering sound you hear is the Smart Man, who has been telling me for years to let people fail after giving them a reasonable chance to succeed. Shut up, Smart Man. Rubbing it in when you're right is very unbecoming.

Random Act of Culture

Tuesday, November 9, 2010
You've heard of "flash mobs?" Try this on for size, instead. The Opera Company of Philedelphia and Friends execute a Random Act of Culture.


Wave of the baton to my Hot Mom.

Kansas City

I don't know much about Kansas or Missouri. Other than they're flat, I mean.

Today I find myself in Kansas City for a business meeting. I'm not going to have much time to see anything this trip, as I'm basically in and out. But I strongly suspect I will be making this trip on a somewhat regular basis this year. So what's to see or do in KC? And the first one to say "go to church" is getting a whack with the Shovel of Doom™.

Back to the Grind

Monday, November 8, 2010
After enjoying my study abroad experience to Quebec City this summer, I took the fall quarter off. The university wasn't offering any classes I found interesting, and since my company's tuition assistance benefit was gone for the year, I didn't see any point.

But today registration opens for the Winter quarter, and it's back to the grind for me - I'll be taking Quantitative Reasoning. From the catalog:
Numbers provide a language for reasoning. Numbers are used to quantify data, analyze trends and exceptions, and establish the reliability of conclusions. Using practical problems from business, health care, social services, and government operations, this course provides the opportunity to learn how basic concepts from mathematics can be applied in organizational settings.
I think they should call it either Math is Good or Numbers are Your Friends, but no one asked me.

There's a part of me that's looking forward to resuming my never-ending education - as I've stated before, the learning process is fun for me, and my degree program is forcing me to take classes that I would not have necessarily taken if left to my own devices.

But it was sure nice being a lazy-butt this Fall, too.

Now That's Thinking

Sunday, November 7, 2010
We have a local pub that we like to go to periodically. They brew their own beer and have tasty sandwiches. It's a small place, and we know the wait-staff, who are all young, friendly and attractive.

We went there last night, and the place was dead - I mean dead. When we arrived, there was one table, and us. Our usual barmaid served us, and she was desperately happy to see a customer - any customer - to alleviate her boredom.

As we were chatting, the Barmaid told us that when she was bored, she would periodically play with something called a "shake-weight," a late night TV product that a regular customer bought her after they had laughed and laughed at the idiocy of the commercial:


She then told us she has noticed a trend - when she uses the "shake-weight," her tips increase exponentially. So she's started using it when her rent's due to close the gap. I believe they call that entrepreneurship.

2010 Flower Pr0n - Wild Flowers


Up In the Air

Saturday, November 6, 2010
I'm going to be in and out over next week for meetings, business and personal travel. I'm going to try and do some preposting as time permits, but things aren't looking great in that department due to the imminent explosion of my head, or the zombie apocalypse, whichever comes first.

In the meantime, Boogie the Giant Schnauzer is on duty here at the Big Yellow House, holding down the fort and terrorizing the neighbors. Have a good week, Hot Chicks and Smart Men.

Boogie Blogging Friday - Still Gimpy

Friday, November 5, 2010



Except he's not, which is part of the problem. If his pad actually hurt, then perhaps he wouldn't be hopping all over the place, opening the wound at every possible opportunity, the big dork.

So he's still bootie boy, and the butt of all the other dogs' jokes when he goes out for walkies in the morning.

This is Your Brain on an RFP

Thursday, November 4, 2010

For those of you who have never had the "pleasure" of responding to a Request For Proposal, this is the inevitable result of such an exercise, for everyone involved. Seriously - who thinks RFPs are a good idea? Who? I'll bet those people think Sarah Palin epitomizes intellectual thought in this country, too.

Can you guess what I'm doing this week? Can you guess who ran out of pre-posted content for her blog this morning? Can you guess whose blog content promises to be a bit thin for the next week or so as I put this to bed and also complete the other work and home-related tasks for which I bear responsibility? Can you guess who will probably be counting her own fingers and giggling incessantly to herself by the middle of next week?

I knew you could.

Rationalization and Moral Courage

Wednesday, November 3, 2010
I think most people have a sense of right and wrong. Not sociopaths, of course, but the majority of the population. People know it's not right to steal, or to cheat, or to lie. They know (or I sincerely hope they know) that sinning against their fellow human beings diminishes them.

And yet, people do steal, or cheat, or lie, or sin against their neighbors in some other fashion, so much so that many times we don't even consider it an unusual or noteworthy occurrence. And you know why? Rationalization. Rationalization is the killer of moral courage, and in our minds, excuses our crappy behavior and allows us to get what we want and still live with ourselves.

I think everyone's guilty of this, to a greater or lesser degree - I know I am. We mitigate our shame at our bad behavior by demonizing those against whom we've sinned. We minimize our culpability to the point where, in our own minds, we bear almost no responsibility for others' pain. We excuse ourselves by saying that the injured party wasn't really hurt that bad.

I think the true test of whether or not someone is a grown up is where they reside on the rationalization/moral courage scale. You expect children to rationalize their bad behavior, or to try and wiggle out of the consequences of breaking the social compact. But as the maturing process continues, the expectation becomes that the moral courage side of the scale starts to weigh more heavily than the rationalization side. Part of this is the emotional maturity to be honest with ourselves about how our behavior affects other people, but really - the key virtue is courage. The courage to admit our own mistakes, make restitution, and improve our lives and our behavior moving forward.

I don't know that anyone ever achieves true freedom from rationalizing our bad behavior. But it's sure worth trying.

He Calls it Like He Sees It

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

H/T to the lovely Carol Elaine, whom I join in loving George Takei.

I Voted - Did You?

Today is election day here in the United States. This has been one of the most frustrating election seasons in my memory, for a variety of reasons.

But I still voted. And so should you.

When citizens allow cynicism, frustration and a sense of powerlessness to overtake them, and fail to exercise their franchise, then big money really has stolen our process and our Republic.

GO. VOTE. GO VOTE.

(Un)Intended Consequences

Monday, November 1, 2010
Christ on a crutch, I am sick to death of political ads and calls. They're EVERYWHERE, each more disingenuous, duplicitous and obnoxious than the last. We're averaging four political calls a day here at the Big Yellow House, and yesterday I was treated to one at the beginning of a You Tube video. I've already voted, and if I have to inadvertently hear one more television advertisement, or listen to one more recorded shill for their pet issue, somebody's going to get hurt.WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE.

Colorado has been flooded by outside political money this season, and as a result of SCOTUS' Citizens United decision, everyone who thinks they have a dog in this fight has been airing attack ads on pretty much every Federal candidate on the docket:
 "Michael Benett cast the DECIDING VOTE on Obama-Care!" Because evidently the other Senators that voted for the Health Care Reform Bill didn't decide anything.

"Ken Buck wants to outlaw BIRTH CONTROL!" Well, not really, although I do think that he has an unnatural interest in my uterus.

Etc., etc. ad naseum.
The end result of this saturation is that voters, whether they have any interest in the political process or not, get so fucking disgusted by the constant bombardment and invasion of privacy that they just tune out and give up in disgust.

And that, my friends, is fucked up. Because the only people who GENUINELY have a dog in this fight is us. Coloradans. Not the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. Not "Americans for Job Security." Not "The National Education Association Advocacy Fund." US. And more and more people believe that given the enormous sums of money being spent by these completely opaque organizations, their participation simply doesn't matter - the (un)intended consequence of the Citizens United decision. Hell, I'm particularly militant when it comes to my franchise, and this year I was so sick of the ads, the saturation, and the invasion of my privacy that I had to FORCE MYSELF to do my research and make informed choices before I voted. How much crap does an average voter have to take before they check out on our political process altogether and stay home?

Which may, in fact, be the intended consequence after all. God bless America. Or at least the 501(c)4s and 501(c)6s.

2010 Flower Pr0n - Chameleon Tree Edition

Sunday, October 31, 2010
A number of years ago, we replaced a tree in our back yard with a young female Maple. Now, we really like Maples, but this one is somewhat unusual - depending on the time of year, the leaves are different color. It makes the view from the deck a bit more interesting, and I can't wait until it fills out.

Spring - Purple
Summer - Green
Fall - Yellow

Chick Stuff - Shoe Love

Saturday, October 30, 2010
First, something for the guys:


Actually, I myself lust after this fine machine. I guess that makes me, as one of my co-workers claims, "a man's woman." I think he meant that as a compliment.

On to shoes!

My new Fluevogs arrived yesterday! In case you're unfamiliar with John Fluevog, he's a shoe designer. The incredible Jeri introduced me to him during our Seattle trip earlier this year, and while I've been meaning to buy MORE since then, I could never decide which style I wanted. So in a fit of unbridled greed, I recently purchased THREE PAIRS. My name is Janiece, and I have a problem. Hm...shoes.



Boogie Blogging Friday - Limited Mobility Edition

Friday, October 29, 2010



Poor Boogie. He injured one of his pads on Wednesday morning, so we've been trying to limit his mobility to keep the wound from opening up every time he walks on it. We've had limited success, as it apparently doesn't hurt. So he's been padding all over the house, leaving dots of blood over every available surface. Today we got smart and I wrapped the foot in a pad with some Neosporin and then put one of his ice booties on. Hopefully it'll heal up soon so he can return to his normally scheduled activities.

Melancholy

Thursday, October 28, 2010
I spent yesterday trying to figure out why the news of my old friend's loss made me feel so bad. After all, I haven't spoken to her or her family in years and years, and while I had spent a considerable amount of time in their home as a teen, the fact is that we drifted apart for a reason.

Then it occurred to me. My grief wasn't really about my friend losing her father - although losing a parent is never easy and I wouldn't wish it on anyone - it was about the fact that I have drifted away from all the people I grew up with. I'm still in touch with any number of them, but we're not close.

Part of the reason is that my life evolved in very different ways from theirs. My military experience matured me in ways that post-High School employment simply can't, and I'm sure that their own experiences led them down intellectual and emotional paths that I never tread. After I left the Navy, I was a member of the working poor before I eventually ended up working in a white collar, professional job, and my life and values reflect my circumstances.

But to be honest, most of it is that I value far different things now than I did then. Now, in my middle age, I can't imagine being genuinely close to someone who doesn't read regularly, or vote responsibly*, or has a healthy dose of intellectual curiosity about the world, or values education, or engages in any of the other things that make me judge someone and find them wanting. And the fact of the matter is that many (but not all) of the people I grew up with don't value the same things I do now. Just as I may not value what they consider important (like religious faith, for example).

I suspect that given my personal growth trajectory, such an outcome was inevitable. But it still makes me melancholy.


__________
*Not to be confused with voting the same as me. Voting responsibly means taking the time to research the issues and making intelligent, considered choices with your franchise.

Blue

Wednesday, October 27, 2010
I'm feeling a little blue today. I just found out that one of my dearest friends from my high school years lost her father on Saturday. While I haven't spoken to this woman in many years, and we currently don't have much in common aside from the memory of our coming of age, the news still saddens me.

I'm also dealing with some work related...challenges. I don't have much patience with challenging workmates on the best of days, so I'm working hard on keeping my blood pressure down today.

I'm sure tomorrow will be better, but in the short term, I think I need a cookie.

Accepting Me

Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Once again, I am inspired by HCDSM reader and occasional commenter David. At the rate he's going, I may never have to think of original blogging fodder again - I'll simply copy David for the duration.

He recently inspired me to write this as a result of some thoughtful snarkiness, and now he's written a follow-up piece detailing Nine Things That Will Not Make Me Judge You. I like having balance in my life. I like it so much I'm going to balance the scales here at Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men and totally steal David's idea AGAIN.

Here are Seven Things That Will Not Make Me Judge You.

1. You are grief-stricken when your beloved pet dies.

People who don't consider their pets to be part of their family typically don't understand how someone can have a deep emotional relationship with a pet. But in many ways, such relationships are the purist, most fulfilling things in this life. Being grief-stricken when they die is appropriate, and fitting.

2. You are poor.

Unlike willful ignorance, being poor isn't something people choose. If you're not convinced, go read this.

3. You have faith.

Like most atheists, I'm far too pragmatic to understand faith. Unlike many atheists, I admire those who manage a spiritual connection to this world that does not interfere with empirical reality.

4. You choose not to serve in the Armed Forces.

While my own family has a tradition of military service, there are many ways to serve your country and your fellow human beings. It's not up to me to proclaim that my preferred method of service is superior to any other.

5. You perform what is considered "menial" work.

Menial is as menial does. If you're the best waiter I've ever had, the key word there is "best," not "waiter."

6. You cry for sentimental reasons. 

Crying because something reminds of you of what's really important about being human is a sign that you might be someone I'd enjoy knowing, not the opposite.

7. You ask for help.

Not to be completely cliche, but no man is an island. Needing help occasionally does not make you weak or needy, but it does make you human. And allowing others to help you when you genuinely need it makes those who are willing to help human, too.