So Exhausting

 

Yesterday while reading the news, I discovered that the CDC has changed its guidance regarding masks due to a large uptick in COVID infections across the country. In areas where the Delta variant is running amok, they now recommend even vaccinated people where masks indoors where there are many people present. 

I also read that resentment of people who refuse to get vaccinated is growing - even among Republicans - as we continue to struggle to move past the pandemic.

Then I read this morning that even vaccinated people, i.e., yours truly, may be carrying a significant viral load of the Delta variant, even while asymptomatic. 

What this means to me is that I am now a danger to those around me who are not vaccinated. It means it's possible I've already had COVID, masquerading as summer allergies. It means I have a responsibility to society to prevent spreading this illness to those who either refuse to get vaccinated, or those who cannot get vaccinated.

And I have Feelings about this. 

Mostly I just find the whole thing exhausting. It was very easy to get out of the habit of masking up when going out in public, with the exception of air travel. It was a delight to start socializing with folks outside our "cell."* It was a pleasure to get back to the gym for strength training without having to wear a mask. And now we have to go back. 

I want to be clear about something - I am absolutely willing to go back to mask wearing for the sake of those among us who are immunocompromised, or can't take the vaccine for other medical reasons. As a member of, you know, humanity, I have an obligation to do so. It's a minor inconvenience, after all, and doing so costs me nothing and may save someone's life. Go, saving someone's life. 

But I have to admit that doing so for the sake of the knuckleheads who refuse to get vaccinated because "freedom" or "you can't make me, neener-neener-neener" or "it's all a radical liberal plot" sticks in my craw just a little. 

I absolutely believe in agency when it comes to health and safety. You want to ride your motorcycle down the interstate at 100mph without a helmet? Fine. There's a reason ER personnel call such folks "organ donors," but whatever - it's your noggin. You want to forego a seatbelt because in 1 out of a 1,000 accidents being thrown from the car results in the person not dying? You do you, boo. Clearly you flunked statistics, but again - whatevs. 

But vaccination is different. An individual's decision not to get vaccinated does not affect just them. It affects all of us, in every community. It decreases herd immunity. It puts stress on our health care system. It increases the probability of folks who cannot be vaccinated getting sick and dying. It puts the burden of the health of the willfully unvaccinated on the shoulders of those who committed to the idea of the common good and herd immunity. And while I'm having some trouble mustering up sympathy for new COVID cases among the willfully unvaccinated, those who cannot get vaccines should not be subjected to additional risk because I (or anyone else, for that matter) refuses to wear a mask because they don't understand science, or "freedom," or they get their medical advice from unqualified, partisan politicians, or they just don't give a shit about anyone else as long as they're not inconvenienced. 

I don't believe vaccines should be mandated on a public level.** Such an edict would contradict my core values. But I do think the unvaccinated should be made to reduce their public life for the sake of public health. Don't want to be excluded from a cruise or an airplane or a public event? Then get vaccinated. Don't want to get vaccinated because you're a putz? Then restrict your public movements. 

It really is that simple for me. And I find the politicalization of vaccines and science to be disgusting, immoral, and shameful. 

You'll see me on the other side (of my mask, that is). 

________

*We only socialize with people who are 100% vaccinated. We still have high risk people in our lives, and even before the CDC changed its guidance, we were taking no chances with their health and well-being. If that offends you or hurts your feelings, sorry-not-sorry. 

**I'm a-okay with vaccine mandates for certain professions such as healthcare workers. As a veteran, I fully understand the need to give up some control of my medical care for the sake of the group, and while I understand such things may stick in the craw, it is my belief that doing so is a public good from a Kantian point of view. 

Self-Care Saturday

 

Last year after the lock-downs started, the Smart Man and I gained the dreaded "COVID-19." Since we weren't exactly slender to start with, this soon became a problem from a health and fitness perspective. 

So in May of 2020, we endeavored to lose some weight. The Smart Man had already been slowly losing for the previous year, but we both got serious in May, and we were pretty disciplined in our program. 

Since May, I have lost 68 pounds, and overall, the Smart Man has lost 40 pounds. Since sizes these days are so inconsistent and vanity driven, I'll say that this translates into a six size reduction in my clothes based on the Levi's brand. I was going to try and lose five more pounds as a stretch goal, but I'm incredibly tired of dieting, so I'm sticking with the original goal - a 22.3 BMI, right in the middle of the healthy range.

We're pretty proud of ourselves for this accomplishment, but really - now the tough work begins. I've always been able to lose weight when I decide I need to do so. It's the maintenance that kills me. This cycle of yo-yo dieting isn't good for me for a variety of reasons, so the next year will require a lot of vigilance on my part to ensure I remain within the weight/size range I've set for myself. I'll check back in at this time next year, and hopefully I'll look exactly the same. 

Before. (Sorry for the crappy picture - it's not like I really wanted to photograph myself when I looked like this.)

After. 

Belief

I gained 3.8 pounds over the holiday based on my weekly averages, which is how I measure such things. I expect they'll come off pretty quickly (like this week), and then the hardest work begins: Losing the last 20 pounds. I believe I can do both these things in the 14 week timeframe I have set for myself. 

________

I believe President-Elect Biden will be inaugurated to the office of President on January 20th regardless of what tRump and RetRumplicans want or do. I also believe this is absolutely the correct and legal course of action, because the accusations of RetRumplicans have absolutely no merit. They have presented no legally admissible evidence to any court of law (including SCOTUS) which proves their assertions of voter fraud in any state. Their strategy has been to follow the tactic of "If you say it often enough, it becomes true, regardless of the facts." And that strategy is working, and has been working for the last four decades, which makes me fear for the long-term future of the Republic. 

________

I believe I will no longer engage in conversation or commentary, or invest emotional or intellectual labor regarding the Conspiracy Theory de Jour, regardless of who brought it up, what their political opinions are, who they support, or the motivation behind the bull-pucky. Bring me provable facts, or get thee gone is the new mantra. I have to thank my pal Juan for this one. Sensible advice at any time. 

________

I believe Mitch McConnell is the single greatest threat to the Republic since the Civil War. Thanks, Kentucky!

________

I believe the key to my mental health in 2021 is being honest with myself and others about gratitude, mindfulness, and letting things go. Then I must make emotional and intellectual decisions based on this honesty. I think I can more easily make gratitude a habit compared to the other two, but I have some work to do in all three focus areas. For me, the hardest part is achieving "forgiveness" along with "letting go." I'm afraid that's going to take a while. 

________

I believe tRump's blatant attempt to fix the election in Georgia is a clear violation of the law. I also believe he won't experience any consequences for his criminal behavior, because at this point in our Republic's history, NO ONE is held accountable if they have enough power and/or money. NO ONE. It's all just political theater to appease the base rather than a true application of the law and justice. 

________

I believe I need to continue to invest in my health after I achieve my goal weight, including an appropriate maintenance diet and regular exercise. 

________

I will be taking the COVID vaccine one it becomes available to low risk individuals, because I believe in the power of science and the results of vaccines in saving populations from deadly disease (see: Polio, Small Pox, et al). 

________

I believe I am deeply afraid for the law enforcement officers who will be trying to keep the peace on Wednesday in our nation's capital. It's going to be a long and dangerous day for these folks, and unlike the violent whackadoos who choose to be there, these professionals have no choice. Stay safe, y'all. Seriously.

________

I believe I have never admired our judicial branch of government more. Throughout these election shenanigans, they have, without exception, upheld the law as they understand it with integrity and courage regardless of who appointed them. The judicial is our last line of defense, and their integrity has, in many ways, saved the Republic. 

________

I believe 2021 will be a year where I spend more time and money on charitable acts/agencies. Charitable giving has always been a part of our budget, but this year I want to get more personally involved, for a variety of reasons ranging from mental health to a way of paying rent on the bit of earth I occupy. 

Snoozing...On a Sunday Afternoon (With apologies to The Rascals)

During these times of isolation, social media is more important than ever. It's a way for us to share a joke, feel connected, and keep in touch with our friends and family. It gives an avenue to recognize the courage and efforts of those who risk the most to keep our population healthy and happy, namely the medical establishment and people who work in the supply chain. It's a way to share ideas, tips, and recipes while we're all stuck at home.

Unfortunately, it's also a place where people are completely unembarrassed to display their ignorance, nastiness, and general assholery, now more than ever.

Enter Facebook's lovely feature called "Snooze."

This feature allows you to put people in a 30 day time out when their social media presence in your life is just too much. It hides their posts for 30 days, and when it expires, you can then see their content once again, giving you the opportunity to either snooze them again, remove them forever, or read what they post.

I love this feature, and until this pandemic is over, I'm going to be using it with reckless abandon. RECKLESS ABANDON, Y'ALL.

• You believe 45 has suddenly decided to suspend his pathological need to lie about every fucking thing specifically for this emergency? SNOOZE!
• You think your high school diploma makes you as qualified as an epidemiologist to discuss how far the disease will spread, and how fast? SNOOZE!
• You believe that this entire thing - including the U.S.'s lack of sufficient medical supplies and the federal government's late response - is the fault of a President who has been out of office for over three years? SNOOZE!
• You believe you know more than an infectious disease specialist who has literally spent their entire adult life studying and preparing for this specific emergency? SNOOZE!
• You think our current President knows more about disease vectors, effective preventative measures, epidemiology, and hospital usage statistics than those who have made the study of such things their life's work? SNOOZE! 
• You hypocritically attempt to take people to task for criticizing the federal government's response because it's "mean-spirited," but then run right out and post personal attacks and other nastiness on a daily basis? SNOOZE!
• You are thoroughly convinced your belief in conspiracy theories that would make Chuck Norris blush makes you a qualified intelligence analyst? SNOOZE! 

SNOOZE! SNOOZE! SNOOZE!

I started snoozing yesterday, and today my feed is already less tainted by the Dunning-Kruger Effect and other forms of hypertension-inducing dumbassery. SNOOZE!

All Hail the Heroes

So. Coronavirus. Here we are, sitting on the couch, binging on Netflix, and hoarding dry goods. For the general population who is able to work from home, the sacrifice barely registers on the annoyance scale, let alone reaches the community efforts required for many of history's worst calamities.*

Reputable experts in infectious disease have assured us that this epidemic will get worse before it gets better, and that people should be prepared to shelter in place for at least another 30 days (or longer), depending on which expert you listen to. Please note I said expert, not the third bullshitter from the left or some media personality who thinks their presence in front of a camera suddenly makes them a qualified epidemiologist. This is a science based problem, and we should be listening to scientists.

Ahem. Sorry about that digression. I'm a little irked by the misinformation being spread about for political, selfish, or economic reasons.

ANYWAY.

The purpose of this post is to point out that we, as a society, owe a debt of gratitude to some unsung heroes in our midst. Not the medical professionals, although their professionalism in dealing with this crisis has been exemplary and selfless.

No, I'm talking about the supply chain. You know, the process that everyone takes for granted. The process that moves goods from one place to another, and then distributes it to retail establishments so we can buy SpaghettiOs and sausage, toilet paper and tampons, beans and broccoli. It starts at the source - farms and manufacturing plants, and then moves these goods to distribution centers who then move it to retail stores.

These people are working their asses off. They can't keep up with demand, and with people acting like selfish knobs with their hoarding and other dumbassery, their lives are pretty sucky right now. They're trying to meet the demands of their companies, even though they have families of their own, people they need to take of in this crisis, and doing so puts their own health and the health of their families at risk. And they're doing this so that people can buy their groceries and other goods they need on a daily basis.

And what do they get for their trouble? They get shouted at. They get called names. They get their companies failing to recognize their efforts with extra pay and additional safety measures. They get bupkis. And that's just not right.

These people are the unsung heroes of this crisis. They deserve our thanks, our gratitude, and to be treated with courtesy and respect, especially given their current working conditions. So when the grocery store employee tells you there are limits on how much you can buy of a certain item, the correct answer is, "I wasn't aware of that, thank you so much for letting me know," not a public rant about your rights or how much more YOU need a bag of rice rather than your neighbor.

Don't be a tool, y'all. We're in this together, and if everyone makes an effort to follow expert advice and take care of each other, we'll come through it that much quicker. Allow this crisis to bring out the best in us, and not the worst. Take care of your neighbors. Thank the supply chain heroes who bring you your essentials, taking a chance of getting sick to do so. Be kind.


*Yes, I know people who work in the service industry are struggling, and many small businesses need immediate help. I feel for them, I do, especially since members of my circle fall into both categories. But that's a blog post for another day.

Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse

Beware the flying vector

He's coming for you.

Every time I write about coronavirus, in my head I hear COVID-19, but my fingers type CORVID-19. I know I'm not the only one who does this, and I find it pretty amusing. Clearly my affinity for crows is getting the better of my subconscious mind.

What is wrong with people? 

I just don't get people. Why are they hoarding paper products and stocking up on ammo? This isn't Doomsday Preppers. It's an epidemic that can be managed if we pay respectful attention to facts, follow the advice of those who have expertise in this area, and don't act like a bunch of selfish knobs. Speaking of selfish knobs, while all these hoarders were buying up all the TP in the store, did they remember to pick up a few things for their neighbors who are at higher risk of dying if they contract COVID-19, or are they just lining the shelves of their basement? I think we all know the answer. If we can all manage to be cautious and decent to one another, this entire thing will end sooner rather than later, with no one needing to lead armed raids to steal their neighbors' toilet paper.

Speaking of cautious

There's an excellent article in the Washington Post today that includes simulations about how fast the virus spreads, why quarantines don't work, and how social isolation is the best way to combat the spread of the epidemic. The bottom line is this: If you're not someone who provides or is in the supply chain of critical services to the population such as food, water, power, healthcare, or emergency services, stay home. It won't kill us to cook our meals at home for the duration, use available technology to stay in touch with loved ones, and telecommute if our employers have the infrastructure to support it. Everyone has to go out for supplies periodically, but other than that, don't go places where you might infect or get infected by other people. Is it a huge bummer, especially during Spring break? Yes. Yes, it is. We've already cancelled two trips as a result of the epidemic, and the rest of our Spring/Summer travel plans don't look too good, either. But my desire to lounge at a resort or visit a National Park doesn't matter one bit when the health and safety of everyone is at stake. Again, don't be a selfish knob.

Charity begins at home

Speaking of cooking our meals at home, there are now thousands of people all over the country who are unemployed for the duration. I'm speaking, of course, of those who work in the food service or hospitality industries in states where those establishments have been closed by order of their state or federal authorities. Many of these folks are living under the poverty line anyway, and being out of work for some period of time is going to be devastating. The Smart Son is in this position, and while the Smart Man and I are prepared to help him if necessary, not everyone has the safety net of well-off parents. We'll be donating the money we're saving from not eating out (which we tend to do a lot) to a local food bank or other charities who provide help to this demographic for the duration. It's the least we can do, given our own circumstances and how little we'll be affected by the epidemic. Please - join us if you're able.

This is not about politics

You all know I'm a big ole flaming liberal, but here's the thing - this epidemic, and our response to this epidemic, is not about politics. It's about everyone doing their best to ensure the risk to our entire population is reduced as much as possible. That absolutely starts with our elected leaders who have to make the tough decisions about how we, as a people, respond to this crisis. But I am not going to ignore recommendations from the federal government because our current President is a vapid piece of shit. Nor do I expect my conservative neighbors to ignore recommendations from our Governor because he's gay and liberal. I am going to take it on faith that everyone involved has the best interest of the American people at heart, and not use the crisis as a means to tear down (or build up) politicians. There will plenty of time for a post-mortem once the danger is passed.

And so it begins

It's official. I'm old.

I went to my GP today because I've been experiencing a limited range of motion in my left hip, plus it hurts when I stand for a long time, or am too active.

Yeah. I have osteoarthritis in my hip.

So far it's not that bad. It only hurts when I sit cross-legged, when I overdo the physical activity, or when I have to stand for hours on end (hello, trade shows!). Sister Amy suggested that I get it looked at the last time I was in San Diego, so that I could start Physical Therapy, which was wise of her. She had one of her own hips replaced at a very young age, so she knows whereof she speaks.

So I'll be doing PT, as well as taking some anti-inflammatory medications to keep things under control.

But the real issue is, when the hell did I get old enough to develop arthritis in my damn hip? I already need bifocals and a hearing aid, for Christ's sake. What's next? Incontinence? Glaucoma? Cataracts? Osteoporosis? It feels like just yesterday that my body was strong, pain-free, and basically did whatever I asked of it without a lot of fuss. Fucking aging, man. Shit.

Midnight Ramblings

As most of my readers know, I have chronic, anxiety driven insomnia for which I take medication. Sometimes it's great, and I'll go weeks without an incident, and sometimes it's bad, and I'll have several bad nights in a week, for several weeks in a row.

Right now I'm living in the second category because reasons, and crap on a cracker, my brain is such an asshole. You want to know what kind of crap runs through my head while I'm laying there not sleeping? Here's a sample.
________

I wonder whatever happened to that youngest Osmand kid...Jimmy? I always felt bad for him. He always seemed like the "also ran" in that family.*
________

I cannot believe white people don't realize how much they're telling on themselves when they post dog whistle commentary on social media. Such blatant racism makes me feel like I'm living in an episode of Dear White People. They might as well start each proclamation with, "I'm not a racist, but..."

________

Once again, Colorado has been named a top ten state for well-being in the United States. Makes me feel bad for other communities, especially in the deep South, where poverty, crappy education, and minimal health care puts them in the bottom ten.
________

How come my left leg hurts when I wake up? It's a deep pain, like it's in the bone. I'll bet it's bone cancer, and my leg's going to explode from the inside out, like that episode of House where the soccer athlete broke her leg.

________

Do Christian conservatives realize how very hypocritical they are when it comes to 45's behavior? When it was Clinton engaging in non-biblical congress with his intern and lying about it, it was worth impeachment, but when 45 does that and more and also lies like a dog about every fucking thing, then "it's not for them to judge" his personal life. Yeah, right.
________

Man, crowds suck the big one. They make me feel like I'm being squeezed, and not in a good way.
________

Seems like most of the countries with very high well-being all use a form of Democratic Socialism or Social Democracy. Must be a coincidence. Has to be.
________

Turns out Douglas County [where I live] is the healthiest county in America according to U.S. News. Amazing how lots of money, access to fresh, healthy foods, and plenty of open space will affect populations.
________

Dude, the "Fountain of Youth" attraction in St. Augustine is like the poster child for pro colonial white washing. The exhibits make it look like Ponce de Leon flounced into Florida and held Kum-Ba-Yah sessions with the native population rather than killing them with disease, kidnapping and raping their women, and forcing them to convert to Christianity. I guess the actual truth wouldn't attract many visitors at $15.00 a pop for admission.

________
*He's not, for those interested. His musical career was pretty successful, he's still working in the entertainment industry, and is apparently happily married with four kids. 

Early Morning Conversations

Brain: Wake up! Wake up!

Me: What?

Brain: Wake up! We have Very Important Things to think about tonight.

Me: What time is it?

Brain: 3:30 a.m. Time to get busy!

Me: Fuck off.

Brain: No can do. Do you remember that time when an adult screwed you over for reasons that had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with their own ego?

Me: Yes. Fuck off.

Brain: Can't do that - we need to think about that 35-year-old incident.

Me: Why?

Brain: Because it's VERY IMPORTANT.

Me: It's really not. While it was painful at the time, I think I can safely assert that I'm over it. It hasn't prevented me from professional success, it hasn't affected how I choose to manage my relationships, and it has no bearing whatsoever on my current life. Why don't we let it go?

Brain: Crazy talk. Let's think about it some more.

Me: Let's not.

Brain: Okay, then let's think about the fact that you don't have pants, shirts or shoes for the two conferences you have in February.

Me: Why? I have a plan to buy what I need.

Brain: But will you be able to FIND what you need? I'm sure you won't.

Me: I'm sure I will. I have six weeks to get the job done. 

Brain: But you don't KNOW that.

Me: Shut the fuck up, will you? I have to work this morning.

Brain: Speaking of work, let's think about some upcoming tasks you're assigned that I'm sure you won't be able to complete to anyone's satisfaction.

Me: I hate you.

Brain: I know.

Saying farewell to a labor of love

I will complete 4.5 years of service to the local library as a trustee on June 30th.

I started serving on this board less than six months after Moe died. I was desperate to find a service opportunity that linked me to Moe, and service to the library seemed to fit the bill. She loved her local libraries, and used them extensively. I know she would have approved of my work, and it made it a labor of love for me, and a way to honor her memory.

However, last night, I formally resigned from the Board effective June 30th. I have a lot of feelings about this decision, and the fact that I've tied my service to the library in with my daughter's legacy and my own grief makes those feelings very confusing. 

It broke my heart to resign from this work. I love our libraries, and helping to make them among the best libraries in the country and relevant for years to come was meaningful, satisfying work. The vast majority of my Board colleagues over the years have been dedicated, intelligent, focused, and always kept the best interests of the library as their guiding principle.

But life is about conflicting priorities, and sometimes we have to choose between what we love and what we're empowered to do, if only for our own sake and our own conscience. 

I am grateful - so grateful - to have had an opportunity to serve our Library District in this way. It helped me find my center in that first, awful year after Moe died. It allowed me to contribute to my community in a way I found meaningful. It allowed me to meet some fine, decent, like-minded people, who I will continue to call "friend." And it gave me the experience I'll need to continue to serve my community in other ways.

Perhaps what touches me the most is the fact that the Library leadership team, the Library Foundation Chair, and half the Library board nominated me for Colorado Association of Libraries Outstanding Trustee Award without my knowledge. It doesn't matter to me if I win. The respect of people I respect is award enough for me, as well as the acknowledgement by good, hardworking people that I did good work, and served authentically when given the chance.

News from HCDSM HQ

Hey there. Long time, no see.

Which is entirely my fault, of course. I haven't been a very conscientious writer for some time, nor have I been a very conscientious reader, having given up on my RSS feed and most sources of news except the Washington Post.

The reasons for this should be obvious, and I'll leave it as an exercise for the class.

So what's been going on here at Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men HQ?

One of my volunteer gigs has devolved into something of a political shit-show, and I've been stressing over it. I'm unsure how much longer I'll be interested in serving in this particular role, because crap on a cracker, politics make my teeth hurt. And I can't see losing sleep (literally) over a volunteer gig.
__________ 

I joined my local Rotary Club for about six months. I ended up resigning due to a cultural misfit, i.e., Rotary Clubs tend to reflect the communities in which they reside, and we all know I, as an individual, represent about 10% of all liberals in Douglas County. Which isn't a problem in and of itself, except when the majority assumes you hold the same views as they do and some of them feel free to express their opinions without discernment. Or kindness.
__________

I started a new assignment in my day job in April. The move was non-optional as there was another team who needed a skill set I happened to have, but the change has been good, and I believe I'll have a greater chance for sales success in the new role. Go, me.
__________

It's Spring! You know what that means: GARDENING. While I thought I was about done last Fall in terms of getting things growing and where I want them, I was wrong. So it's been back to Lowe's and Gardner's Supply Co. for new containers, plants, etc. Growing things when you live on a hill and the soil is basically 100% clay is a pain in the ass, but I also suspect that gardening is like laundry in that it never, ever ends.
__________

I've been reading a lot. I've finished 80 books since January 1st, and while I expect I'll be slowing down a bit for the summer, that's a pretty good clip. 
__________


I've decided to go back to school (again). Once I graduated, I stopped going and started to listen to the Great Courses so I could continue to learn new things, but that hasn't worked out the way I wanted it to. I enjoy the lectures, but it's a pretty passive activity, and so doesn't engage my brain in an active, focused way the way actual coursework does. So I've enrolled in the local Community College to take enrichment courses starting after Memorial Day. First on the agenda: Database Design and Development. Chronic school attendance is good for my brain, and the longer I go without it, the more I feel my IQ points dribbling out of my ears. Bonus: I can acquire skills that might be valuable in my current day job as well as future volunteer gigs.
__________

That's about it here at HCDSM. I'm trying to re-engage in my on-line communities, but on my terms, rather than being victim to the time-suck.

An Open Letter to Senator Cory Gardner, 09/22/2017

I am writing today to express my extreme opposition to the Graham-Cassidy Bill.

Here are the factual reasons I oppose this bill. Please note that these are matters of fact, not opinion:

 • There is not enough time between now and September 30th to get an accurate CBO score that tells us how many people will loose coverage as well as what the bill will cost, and that is inexcusable.

• It ends individual and employer mandates, which will drive premiums up. It will also end federal subsidies for individual insurance. This is estimated to leave 32 million people uninsured.

• It takes the money going to the states that opted ‘in’ to Medicaid expansion and distributes it among all states, even those whose legislatures irresponsibly voted against expansion. In 2026, funding for Medicaid expansion would end entirely, and the shortfall would be left for the states to cover.

• It institutes a one year freeze on Medicaid reimbursements for Planned Parenthood (even though federal law already prohibits federal tax dollars being used to fund or finance abortion services)

• It allows individual states to define what constitutes an “essential benefit”, which will likely result in a slash of coverage for maternity services, cancer treatments and services, ER visits, prescription drugs, and many more benefits. This could also further prevent women’s clinics from charging Medicaid for things like cancer screenings and birth control.

• It allows insurers to double their surcharge for elderly patients. (The ACA allows insurers to charge older customers up to 3 times as much as younger ones. This bill increases that to up to 5 times as much.)

• It allows insurers to charge higher rates based on health status, and it repeals language in the ACA which prevents changing insurance rates after a patient is diagnosed with a condition.

I can't believe I have to even say this, but the provisions in this legislation are just INDECENT. It's just as bad as the last bill brought before the Senate. Denying people the care they need to live is IMMORAL. Continuing to be a rank-and-file Republican on this issue is WRONG. Allowing the Federal government to cut billions from Colorado, money that serves the least among us, is NOT serving your constituents. I don't know why we even have to have these conversations - the argument of decency versus cruelty should have a clear-cut winner, and yet here I am, trying to convince you that decency should WIN.

Please vote NO on this bill and work with the Democrats on a bi-partisan approach that addresses both party's concerns. It's what the American people need, regardless of the Vice President's paternalistic view to the contrary. It's what we want. It's what we've TOLD you we want, when the majority of Americans have said they do not want the ACA to be repealed. Do not assume that because you hold office that you can pat your constituency on the head and claim that Father knows best. You obviously DON'T know best, as evidenced by years of do-nothing Congressional sessions and a complete failure to pass meaningful, popular legislation when your party controls ALL THREE BRANCHES OF GOVERNMENT.

Do the right thing. Vote NO on this bill and help Coloradans retain the care they need.

An Open Letter to Senator Cory Gardner, 09/21/2017

I am writing today to encourage you to vote NO on the Cassidy-Graham bill. 

While I understand that you are a rank and file Republican, I urge you to think independently on this issue. Most Americans don’t want the ACA to be repealed. Coloradans don’t want to lose billions in federal aid and have it repurposed to the Bible Belt, all of whom think federal health care is “Socialism.” Coloradans don’t want millions to lose their health care through Medicaid/Medicare. 

This really is a moral issue. Will you be the kind of Senator who pays attention to his constituents, or will you serve your masters at the GOP at the expense of Coloradans? Will you be the kind of Senator who votes to essentially kill your constituents so you can remain in your party’s good graces, or will you be a stand-up guy and do what is right, damn the consequences? Are you the kind of man who is guided by morality, values, and compassion, or will you be the man who puts party and self before country? 

Please - prove me wrong, and do the right thing, rather than the expedient thing. Vote NO on the bill, and then work with the Democrats to come to a bi-partisan solution. Nothing would make me happier than to be wrong about you and your priorities. Please, vote NO on this bill.

An Open Letter to Senator Cory Gardner, 09/18/2017

I am writing to you today to ask you to vote "no" on the latest ACA repeal. I'm not really interested in having 1.3 million of my fellow Coloradans lose their Medicare coverage because the GOP needs a win to convince their constituents they're capable of governing. 

If you want to govern, then pass some domestic legislation that improves the lives of your Constituents by working WITH the Democrats to reach a compromise. 

Right now I consider your primary job as keeping an unfit, unpredictable, unqualified man child from destroying our Democracy. Snatching medical coverage away from 32 million people makes you an immoral failure, not a leader of men. 

If you want my vote, then work on bipartisan legislation that benefits us all, and lead your party away from extremism.

An Open Letter to my Senators

Dear Senators Bennet and Gardner, 

I am writing today to express my disbelief and disgust with the current plan to revoke the individual and business mandate in the Affordable Care Act. While it isn't working as well as analysts had hoped, removing it will do nothing but increase the number of uninsured Americans, and increase premiums for everyone. 

The numbers from the CBO don't really lie - 16 million Americans will lose their healthcare, and healthcare premiums will increase by 20% for the individual market. How is this "better?" How does this constitute "more Americans being covered?" The completely immoral remarks concerning the free market by the President of the Senate notwithstanding, this plan is clearly bad for Americans. 

I'm beginning to sound like a broken record - how about country before party for a change? How about voting in accordance with your constituents' desires and best interests? How about more bi-partisan work on this issue? 

Please come up with a COMPREHENSIVE plan for health care in this country. I know it's hard, but it's YOUR JOB. Please do it for a change.

Signed, 

Janiece

An Open Letter to the Coward Cory Gardner

Yesterday you voted to open debate on your excretible bill on healthcare, in spite of rampant confusion about what it contains. You immediately followed that bit of Party-First hucksterism by voting "yea" on the actual bill in question. You know, the one that everyone is confused about, but surely will increase premiums, price people out of the market, and reduce funding for the least among us. 

I think the most obvious question here is WHY. Why would you vote for this bill, knowing that your constituents hate it? Why would you vote for this bill, knowing that your own approval ratings here in Colorado have dipped 30% as a direct result of your failure to listen to your constituents about what they want? Why would you vote for this bill knowing that your constituents will suffer (and yes, even die) due to your political actions? Why?

And I think I have the answers! I think it's because you're a hypocritical liar, liar, pants on fire. Let's consider the facts:

1. You voted to open debate on this mystery bill because (and I quote):

I voted to allow debate today because we can no longer subject Coloradans to a failing healthcare system without working toward solutions, and today’s vote will allow that debate to continue. We can now offer amendments in an open setting to fix our nation’s healthcare system and bring relief to the American people. 

Fair enough, if it was true. But - and here's the part where you're a big, fat, hypocrite - you immediately followed up by voting "yea" on a bill without the aforementioned amendments.

Hypocrite: 1. Credibility: 0.

2. You say that you want to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act, health care legislation that enjoys a 55% approval raring, because (and I quote):

Under Obamacare, Coloradans have had to pay for double digit premium increases year after year and the 27 percent average increase for premiums on the individual market next year is only more of the same. While 500,000 Coloradans have had their plans cancelled, 145,000 Coloradans were forced to pay a penalty under Obamacare instead of purchasing insurance because their options have become so limited and unaffordable. In every healthcare meeting with Coloradans, we discuss the problems of Obamacare and how the status quo is simply unacceptable. 

Simply unacceptable, huh? But it's perfectly okay to defund Medicaid (in the future, of course, when you'll presumably be safe from the consequences of your ill-conceived vote) when you promised you wouldn't and leave those who can least afford a cut in their healthcare to suffer and die. It's perfectly acceptable to remove the employer and individual mandate, thus driving premiums even higher. It's perfectly acceptable to increase premiums on seniors with fixed incomes so you can suck up to your rich buddies. Uh, huh.

Hypocrite: 2. Credibility: 0.

3. You've made quite a show of supposedly "considering" the ramifications of revised healthcare law, meeting with Seema Verma for "wink, wink, nod, nod" assurances that Medicaid patients would be taken are of, at least until you can safely deflect the blame for cutting their benefits. But the simple fact of the matter is that you wrote this crappy legislation. You were on McConnell's super-secret committee to bring this steaming pile of immorality to the Senate, and you're responsible for it. You can act concerned all you want, but this is your dumpster fire. Quit trying to fool your constituents into thinking the buck doesn't stop with you, because it does. And this is one issue that people are going to remember in 2020. You can bet on it.

Hypocrite: 3. Credibility: 0.

4. Speaking of you being McConnell's butt-monkey, how are those plans coming for your fundraiser at the home of Denver billionaire Philip Anschutz next month? I think it's just swell that McConnell will also be in attendance so that you can lick his boots in full view of the .01%.

Pandering Hypocrite: 4. Credibility: 0.

You are simply unbelievable, the way you try to make out like you're all thoughtful and deliberative, when everyone knows you're going to vote the Republican party line regardless of the consequences to your constituents and the communities you supposedly represent. You put party before country, every single time, and I have to say I look forward to campaigning for your opposition in 2020. I'd even settle for a new Republican, provided they had a moral compass and kept their oath of office, since you obviously can't be included in either of those cases.

Signed,

Janiece

Political Hypocrisy

You know what I'm sick of? Hypocrisy in politics. I am sick to death of the hypocrisy in politics that stems from a two party system.

The reason I'm so sick of it is not necessarily because the opposing parties in Washington, D.C. are all big, fat, hypocrites. They are, demonstrably, but what bothers me more is the tendency of our polarized system to turn our citizen in hypocrites.

The majority of Americans who follow and opine on politics apply a double standard all the time. Hell, I've been guilty of it myself. Want some examples? Here you go:

In 2009, Senator Mitch McConnell sent a letter to Senator Harry Reid complaining that Republican leaders in the Senate had not had sufficient time to vet President Obama's Supreme Court nominations. In 2017, the exact same letter was returned to Senator McConnell, with only the names transposed. In both cases, partisan Americans decried the other sides' obstructionist behavior.

In 2009, when the Democratic administration pushed through the Affordable Care Act, Republicans complained - loudly - that they did not have input on the plan (even though it was a Republican plan to begin with). Now, in 2017, the shoe is on the other foot, and the Democrats are very worried and concerned that the Republican administration is about to do the same thing with a variety of legislation.

I could go on for days, but really - you get the idea. Democrats do something, Republicans howl, Republicans do the exact same thing, Democrats howl, etc. etc. ad nauseam.

And I am so, so tired of it. It's wildly, undeniably, horrifyingly hypocritical.

I'm so tired of it I'm considering calling people out on it when I see it, consequences be damned. As in, "Oh, you don't like it when liberals criticize and make rude remarks about President Trump? But it was okay for conservatives to hang President Obama in effigy, make racist remarks about him and his family, and accused him of being a foreign national? Then you, my dear, are a HYPOCRITE."

Or, "Oh, you think it's absolutely terrible that the conservatives are about to push through legislation of their choosing now that they have control of the House, the Senate, and the Oval Office? But it was perfectly okay for liberals to push through left leaning legislation when they had control over the House, the Senate, and the Oval Office? Then you, my friend, are a HYPOCRITE.

I'm not implying here that there are not substantial differences between the the liberal agenda and the conservative agenda. There are, big ones, and I know where I stand in relationship to those agendas. I'm going to continue to contact my Senators and Representatives whenever I see Congress about to pass legislation with which I disagree. I'm going to continue to support organizations that advocate for the things that are important to me. I'm going to continue to spread awareness and complain when the White House signs an executive order I don't agree with, or does something bone-headed that damages my country's reputation, or tears down peaceful diplomatic relationships with other countries for no discernible reason. It's my duty as an American. Just as it's the duty of every American. 

But I'm going to stop accusing conservatives of hypocrisy while giving liberals a hall pass on the same behavior. If you're spreading double-standards about politics, you're wrong. You're just wrong, whichever way your double-standard goes, and I'm going to make every effort to point it out, publicly, whenever I see it, on both sides of the aisle. Because we could all use a little more accountability in our public behavior. 

True Tales of Living with a Jerkbrain - Stress Dreams

Me: Man, I'm tired, I think I'll turn the light out and go to sleep.

Jerkbrain: HAHAHAHA

Me: Fuck you, Jerkbrain. My doc increased my sleep medication.

Jerkbrain: WHATEVS.

***sometime later***

Me: Wait, what? What is this dream? Why am I making such poor choices in this dream?

Jerkbrain: HAHAHAHA

Me: What the fuck, Jerkbrain? I'm trying to rest, and this dream is increasing my stress. NOT RESTFUL.

Jerkbrain: WHATEVS.

***sometime later***

Jerkbrain: Our next episode of "Stress Dreams" is sponsored by the letter "P."

Me: Seriously? What now?

Jerkbrain: "P" is for "powerless," which is what you'll feel as the dream unfolds.

Me: Dude, there are people in this dream who have been dead for some time. Why are bad things happening to them, and why can't I stop it?

Jerkbrain: See? POWERLESS. Don't tell ME your doc increased your sleep meds. HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW??

Me: Fuck you, Jerkbrain. And the dream you rode in on.

Jerkbrain: WHATEVS.

***towards morning***

Jerkbrain: Oh, look - the last cycle of REM sleep is coming up. IT'S ON, BITCHES.

Me: Kill me now.

Jerkbrain: Oh, no. I'm going to make you SUFFER.

Me: Why? What did I ever do to you to deserve such a fate?

Jerkbrain: Nothing. I'm just a sadistic bastard. HAHAHHAHA...

Me:You are SUCH an asshole.

Jerkbrain: WHATEVS.

The end.

News from the Abyss

The abyss of wonderful, wonderful vacation, that is.

We returned this weekend from a 2.5 week European cruise vacation, where we saw things, ate things, drank things, and laughed and laughed. News of note:

1. The cities we visited were: Venice, Italy; Dubrovnik, Croatia; Kotor, Montenegro; Mykonos, Greece; Athens, Greece; Naples, Italy; Rome, Italy; Pisa, Italy; Provence, France; Barcelona, Spain; and Gerona, Spain. We sailed on Norwegian Cruise Line's Spirit, and then stayed over in Barcelona for a few days after debarkation.

2. All of these cities were amazing, but you can't beat Mykonos for vacation atmosphere, or Rome for history. Having said that, my favorite place was still Gerona, as the city seemed to just suit me, somehow.

3. Visiting all these places taught us that we need to return to both Italy and the former Yugoslavia for destination vacations. SO MUCH TO SEE, SO LITTLE TIME.

4. We now have a recipe for Limoncello and we intend to use it. No good can come of this.

5. Vacationing with compatible traveling companions whom I love increases the pleasure of a trip tenfold. This is a non-linear increase, I've found, with an accelerating curve based on how much I like being around my companions.

6. Everything tastes better with good Olive Oil on it.

7. I took 823 pictures, some of which are even worth looking at. Once I pare them down I may share some here.

8. Our air travel could not have gone more smoothly. Customs, TSA, luggage - it all went off without a hitch. ::knock on wood::

9. BEST VACATION EVER. Part of that was the fact that I'd never been any of the places we visited, but much of it had to do with the company. Eleven other people made it for either the entire trip or a portion of it, and their presence enriched my experience so much.

10. I can't wait until the next time - Baltic capitals, anyone?

12 Days of New Year's - Learning to Let Go

My mind tends to be a very regimented place. I like being on a schedule. I like doing the same things on the same days of the week, every week. I like to measure things, I like to record those measurements, and it gives me comfort to have that data at my disposable.

Oftentimes I don't really DO anything with the data. I just like to have it. And stare at it. And obsess over it.

For example, when I was sick last month with the Sinus Plague, I woke up in the middle of night one night because I couldn't breathe. I really needed to blow my nose, but I hesitated because - wait for it - if I blew my nose in the middle of the night, I wouldn't be able to compare how my head felt the previous morning, and my data wouldn't be gathered in a consistent manner.

I know. It boggles my mind, too, and it's happening inside my own head.

I realize this makes me borderline OCD. Borderline because on the night in question, I was able to laugh at myself and blow my damn nose. But these sorts of things still happen to me often enough that I really want to learn to let things go. I know where this need to control every little thing comes from, and it's going to take a while to work though those issues. But in the meantime, a little behavior modification is in order.

I think that starts with conscious choices. For example, I've stopped wearing my heart rate monitor when I exercise. I can tell when I'm working hard enough, I don't need to stare at a monitor to discover that fact. I've become lackadaisical about logging every step, every calorie. Some days I even deliberately fail to plan dinner the minute I get up! I know - I'M COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL.

The trick will be ensuring this attention to detail is still retained in my professional life, while simultaneously relaxing in my personal space. Because my borderline OCD serves me well as an engineer, and I don't want to go all hippie-dippie when it comes to my work. Because no one wants to work with a hippie-dippie engineer.

Like Mr. Incredible, I just need to learn how to be more...flexible.