True Tales of Living with a Jerkbrain - Stress Dreams

Friday, September 30, 2016

Me: Man, I'm tired, I think I'll turn the light out and go to sleep.

Jerkbrain: HAHAHAHA

Me: Fuck you, Jerkbrain. My doc increased my sleep medication.

Jerkbrain: WHATEVS.

***sometime later***

Me: Wait, what? What is this dream? Why am I making such poor choices in this dream?

Jerkbrain: HAHAHAHA

Me: What the fuck, Jerkbrain? I'm trying to rest, and this dream is increasing my stress. NOT RESTFUL.

Jerkbrain: WHATEVS.

***sometime later***

Jerkbrain: Our next episode of "Stress Dreams" is sponsored by the letter "P."

Me: Seriously? What now?

Jerkbrain: "P" is for "powerless," which is what you'll feel as the dream unfolds.

Me: Dude, there are people in this dream who have been dead for some time. Why are bad things happening to them, and why can't I stop it?

Jerkbrain: See? POWERLESS. Don't tell ME your doc increased your sleep meds. HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW??

Me: Fuck you, Jerkbrain. And the dream you rode in on.

Jerkbrain: WHATEVS.

***towards morning***

Jerkbrain: Oh, look - the last cycle of REM sleep is coming up. IT'S ON, BITCHES.

Me: Kill me now.

Jerkbrain: Oh, no. I'm going to make you SUFFER.

Me: Why? What did I ever do to you to deserve such a fate?

Jerkbrain: Nothing. I'm just a sadistic bastard. HAHAHHAHA...

Me:You are SUCH an asshole.

Jerkbrain: WHATEVS.

The end.