True Tales of Living with a Jerkbrain - Stress Dreams

Friday, September 30, 2016

Me: Man, I'm tired, I think I'll turn the light out and go to sleep.

Jerkbrain: HAHAHAHA

Me: Fuck you, Jerkbrain. My doc increased my sleep medication.

Jerkbrain: WHATEVS.

***sometime later***

Me: Wait, what? What is this dream? Why am I making such poor choices in this dream?

Jerkbrain: HAHAHAHA

Me: What the fuck, Jerkbrain? I'm trying to rest, and this dream is increasing my stress. NOT RESTFUL.

Jerkbrain: WHATEVS.

***sometime later***

Jerkbrain: Our next episode of "Stress Dreams" is sponsored by the letter "P."

Me: Seriously? What now?

Jerkbrain: "P" is for "powerless," which is what you'll feel as the dream unfolds.

Me: Dude, there are people in this dream who have been dead for some time. Why are bad things happening to them, and why can't I stop it?

Jerkbrain: See? POWERLESS. Don't tell ME your doc increased your sleep meds. HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW??

Me: Fuck you, Jerkbrain. And the dream you rode in on.

Jerkbrain: WHATEVS.

***towards morning***

Jerkbrain: Oh, look - the last cycle of REM sleep is coming up. IT'S ON, BITCHES.

Me: Kill me now.

Jerkbrain: Oh, no. I'm going to make you SUFFER.

Me: Why? What did I ever do to you to deserve such a fate?

Jerkbrain: Nothing. I'm just a sadistic bastard. HAHAHHAHA...

Me:You are SUCH an asshole.

Jerkbrain: WHATEVS.

The end.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have a jerkbrain, too. I empathize.

John said...

moncler outlet online
ugg australia
louis vuitton pas cher
birkenstock outlet
louis vuitton uk
gucci
coach outlet online
michael kors outlet online
longchamp sale
coach factory outlet online
2016107yuanyuan

chenlili said...

coach outlet
michael kors outlet clearance
michael kors outlet
nike outlet
mbt shoes
michael kors uk
coach outlet
michael kors outlet clearance
mcm outlet
polo outlet
yaoxuemei20180614

chenlili said...

paul george shoes
jordan 5
nfl jerseys
ray ban
stuart weitzman
true religion jeans
fitflops sale
michael kors outlet
jordan xx9
lebron 14
chenyingying20180803

dong dong23 said...

marc jacobs handbags
skechers shoes
nike air max
england world cup jersey
lacoste jeans
air max 2017
ray ban
wedding dresses
germany world cup jersey
kristaps porzingis jersey
2018.8.27chenlixiang

Coqicoqi said...

Kyrie Shoes
Yeezy boost 350 v2
Pandora Charms Outlet
Pandora Jewelry
Jordan 11
Pandora
Retro Jordan 11
Air Jordan 4
Red Bottom Shoes
Ryan20181016

Bilibili said...

Jordan Retro 11
Air Jordan 9
Air Max 270
Red Bottom Shoes For Women
Red Bottom for Women
Kyrie 3 Shoes
Jordan Retro 11
Pandora Jewelry Official Site
Jordan 4
Rodney20181201

PalaPala said...

Air Jordan 11
Jordan 9
Jordan 9
Jordan 11 For Sale
Air Jordan 4 Retro
Air Jordan
Air Max 270
Pandora Charms Outlet
Jordan Retro 11
Latrice20181223

Coqicoqi said...

Red Bottom for Women
Pandora Jewelry Official Site
Kyrie Shoes
Jordan Retro 11
Nike Air Max 270
Jordan 4 Retro
Pandora
Jordans 11
Jordan 11
Pandora Jewelry
Ryan20190310

Bilibili said...

Air Jordan Retro 11
Pandora
Jordan Retro
Jordan 4
Yeezy boost 350 v2
Air Jordan 9
Kyrie 3 Shoes
Red Bottom Shoes For Women
Jordan 11 For Sale
Pandora Jewelry
Rodney20190415

Hualala said...

Jordan 11 For Sale
Yeezy boost 350 v2
Red Bottom for Women
Jordan 4
Red Bottom Shoes
Kyrie Irving Shoes
Yeezy boost
Jordan 9
Air Max 270
Paul20190416

yanmaneee said...

converse outlet
air max 95
golden goose outlet
hermes belts
nike 95
vapormax
off-white
michael kors outlet
hermes bag
golden goose slide