Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men: 2008

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Fellow UCFers, it appears we've been found out.

That's right - our secret is out. Rather than being an on-line blogging community that met through our love of science fiction and our time-wasting activities over at the Whateveresque forum, it appears that our status as clandestine members of a super-secret Cyber organization is now public.

That's right - no longer are we a harmless, opinionated, diverse group of friends who snark about what annoys or amuses us - we're now a conspiracy receiving funding from the government. The mission of our conspiracy is to apparently "debunk" anyone who questions the administration, safety or operation of the CERN Large Hadron Collider. The fact that our activities in this area have been limited solely to the debunking of the credentials of one Walter Wagner is not pertinent. Not pertinent, do you hear? We're not the droids you're looking for.

We're apparently primarily Navy veterans, with a "well defined command structure." Hey, Nathan, how does it feel to be our fearless leader? And a Navy vet? You earned the job with your coordination of the "counter-intelligence exercise" known as International Hijack Day. I've been relegated to second in command, damn the luck. I guess my dream of leading a conspiratorial group of cyber-spies will have to be deferred until I learn how to derail discussions in a more formal and organized manner.

As a bonus, we've evidently all been "trained" in the same "aggressive and vulgar" style. Let's call it the "UCF School of Poo-Flinging." Woo Hoo! I'm aggressive and vulgar! Shocking, I know - a former senior NCO in the Navy being vulgar. Who could of imagined that a sailor would, you know, curse like a sailor.

Our secrecy has thus far been protected by the fact that we all have the logo on our blogs, wear the T-shirt, and discuss it openly. That, my clandestine friends, was a ploy to keep our nefarious activities from the public eye. A ploy, I say! Alas, it is now Over. We have been Found Out by our Arch-Nemesis!

::snort::

This fantasy,* by the way, is brought to you courtesy of James Tankersley, "Administrator of LHC facts, and Assistant Coordinator for Global Risk Reduction (A Special Interest Group of American Mensa). He published it in response to my little piece about Walter Wagner suing the Scientific Method. Mr. Tankersley took exception to my describing him as Wagner's Butt-Monkey, assuming I was impugning his manhood or some such with the term.

Hehe.

I have to say that I laughed out loud when I read this little piece. It stands as proof positive that Mr. Tankersley's critical thinking skills (as well as his ability to parse information from available public sources) remains suspect. It also makes me wonder about Mensa's standards. Do they also have a Special Interest Group for the Tin-Foil Hat crowd?

However, in order to ensure that my aggression and vulgarity is expressed in the clearest way possible, I present the definition of "Butt-Monkey" from the Urban Dictionary:

1. One who clings to the butt of another as a monkey clings to a tree, a butt-kisser.
I can't believe you bought a birthday present for your boss, you are such a
butt-monkey.
2. A monkey that lives in somebody's butt, or a very pesky person who you want to feed to a rabid Mako shark.
Stop being a butt-monkey and help me clean this garage!
3. A monkey of or pertaining to the butt.
Dude check it out! A butt-monkey!

Please note the lack of commentary about sexual orientation. Since I have, you know, zero interest in that topic, and I'm fundamentally opposed to epithets based on sexual orientation.

I think we should rename our little group to more accurately describe our new status. How about The Super-Secret Government Counter-Intelligence Group Dedicated to Persecuting the Selfless Scientists Who Impede the Progress of World Domination Through Particle Collisions.

That might be a bit wordy...

*This entry has since been modified to appear a bit less paranoid. The original version may be found here.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I'm a bit busy today with the work for which I'm paid, so in lieu of original content, here's the recipes for the two cheese balls I make every holiday season for our annual Christmas Eve/New Year's Eve graze-fest. I like the first, the Smart Man enjoys the second. Both will lead to bypass surgery.

Simple Cheese Ball

2 blocks of cream cheese at room temperature
1 bundle chopped green onions
3 packages Buddig's dried beef, finely chopped
2 Tablespoons milk
Seasoned Salt to taste

Mix, form a ball and chill

Grandma Rita's Cheese Ball

11 oz cream cheese
1 jar Kraft Roka Blue Cheese spread
1 jar Kraft Pimento Cheese spread
1 jar Kraft Olive Pimento Cheese spread
1 jar Kraft Sharp Cheddar Cheese spread
1 onion, finely chopped
1 mango, finely chopped

Mix ingredients at room temperature, then roll in crushed walnuts and chill.

We serve both with a cracker variety and a gym membership.

Monday, December 29, 2008

I'm a fan of the Scientific Method. A huge fan. You might even say I'm an über fan.

So imagine my glee when I was directed to this little gem by my celebrity boyfriend The Bad Astronomer - 7 (Stupid) People Who Sued the Scientific Method, courtesy of Cracked.com.

And who should appear on this list but that litigious little shit* and Blog-Fodder of the UCF (BFOTUCF) Walter Wagner.

As you all may recall, Walter Wagner and his butt-monkey James Tankersley have been engaged in a cyber argument with the UCF since I first blogged about him on September 9th in my 'Tard of the Week segment. My snarkiness led to posts on Chicago Boyz, Standing on the Shoulders of Giant Midgets, The Blog of Siram, Refugees from the City, and Stonekettle Station.

It seems the UCF isn't the only one who recognizes ole Wally for who he really is. Aside from being an unqualified, self-important git, he's blog-fodder to the world! Really, he's the gift that just keeps on giving.

He should put that on his resume.

::snort::

*Definitions provided to defend against a potential libel suit:

li-ti-gious [li-tij-uhs] - adjective
1. of or pertaining to litigation.
2. excessively or readily inclined to litigate: a litigious person.
3. inclined to dispute or disagree; argumentative

shit [shit] - noun
1. excrement; feces
2. an act of defecating; evacuation.
3. the shits. Diarrhea.
4. Slang. pretense, lies, exaggeration, or nonsense.
5. Slang. something inferior or worthless.
6. Slang. a selfish, mean or otherwise contemptible person.
7. Slang. narcotic drugs, esp. heroin or marijuana.
8. Slang. possessions, equipment, mementos, etc.; stuff.

Yeah, I know I need to narrow that title down a little.

My Smart Man has a 2nd cousin twice removed (or something - I can't keep track of these things) who has two small children. Her husband is Icelandic, and his birth family still lives in Iceland.

In order to keep them informed and involved with her kids, the Hot Cousin maintains a website about the kids. She shares news and photos, and the family members use it as a means to ask questions and stay current.

One of the things she talks about is that fact that her youngest has a condition called Craniosynostosis. This condition essentially means that the sutures in her child's skull fused way too soon. As a result, the growing brain is pushing against solid bone instead of a flexible construct. This causes head malformation and a host of other problems.

Her child will soon have surgery to correct the condition, and the description of the procedure is pretty horrific. The child's skull must be surgically split, and the pieces realigned to allow for normal brain growth. As a parent, I can't imagine having to subject my child to such a thing. The alternative, however, is much worse - in her child's case, blindness and brain damage.

Enter the 'tard.

Some ill-informed fucknut made a comment on her blog berating her for subjecting her child to such a dangerous and invasive procedure "purely for cosmetic reasons." This person evidently felt that since a plastic surgeon was participating in the procedure, then - clearly - cosmetics was the only reason to have the surgery.

Yeah.

Really? Really?

What kind of asshat feels it's appropriate to offer their completely non-informed opinion on what is clearly a blog dedicated to family news? The Hot Cousin is very well informed about her child's condition, has ensured the best care possible, and only wants what's best for the child's future. This smug little fucker really upset the Hot Cousin, who (as you can imagine) is pretty stressed about her child's condition.

So yeah. To the person who posted on the Hot Cousin's blog who completely and utterly talked out of your ass - you are a 'tard.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Today the Smart Boy and I are heading up North for the day to help out my Hot Mom, who hurt her back a couple weeks ago.

Since she's on light duty for the duration, grocery shopping, dusting, vacuuming and other mundane chores need to be accomplished.

Have fun in my absence, and don't burn the place down.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

10. There is, in fact, such a thing as too many Christmas cookies.*

9. Friends don't let friends use wallpaper.

8. My Smart Brother-in-Law is a funny, decent man, and the better I get to know him, the more I like him.

7. He married up. Way up.

6. Jack Russell Terriers are really willful.

5. Mutts typically have personalities for days.

4. In a pinch, I can make decent gravy.

3. People usually want more home-made jam long before they ask for some.

2. Freezing rain sucks.

1. Boogie's Auntie Anne is the cat's pajamas.

*The Smart Man disagrees. Vehemently.

Friday, December 26, 2008

We got Boogie when he was four months old. He was shipped to us from his breeder in Sebastopol, California.

The picture on the left was taken on his second day in our house. As you can see, he arrived with his ears wrapped - a common practice in dog breeds where ear cropping is the norm. We didn't want our dog with cropped ears - in fact we were planning on waiting for a pup with natural ears, but there was a cancellation at the breeders for Boogie, and we decided to take him, instead.

After he'd been with us for a while, we took the bandages off. Man, was that a chore - the tape stuck to his fur, he was crying and struggling to get away, and my Smart Daughter and I were both in tears by the time we got everything off. Needless to say, we chose not to wrap them again, but instead let them go where they would.

As you can see from the picture on the right, he looked like he had some sort of weird antenna cone-head thing going on for a while, until the cartilage straightened up and they could stand up on their own.

The raw carrots were a recommendation of his breeder - they were good for him, and helped him teethe without destroying everything around him. He still likes carrots, although now he's a discriminating pooch - he only likes baby carrots.

It's hard to believe he started out looking like a Muppet and ended up the handsome boy you see today.

Angelina is Preggers again!? How does Brad really feel about increasing their brood? Will she finally lose her girlish figure? Is it TOO SOON? Who Cares!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

I have a secret confession.

I love Gavin DeGraw.

This is my favorite track off his self-titled CD, Young Love.

I really like his ballads, plus he guest starred on Dead Like Me, which is just too cool for school.

Laugh if you want, but I bet Gavin's not laughing. My demographic has far more disposable income than those youngsters.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Did anyone ever figure out what the deal was with the malfunctioning "recent comments" widget?

I don't have time to chase this down this week, but the "stuck on August 26th" thing is getting on my last damn nerve.

I love Laurie Notaro. I've been reading her essay collections for years, starting with The Idiot Girl's Action Adventure Club: True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life all the way to We Thought You'd Be Prettier: True Tales from the Dorkiest Girl Alive.

So imagine my surprise when I found her latest book, The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death, in the Kindle Store for free.

Yes, I said free.

I would of bought this book in trade paperback regardless, because her essays make me laugh and laugh, and now I have it for free.

But now I feel guilty that I'm not financially supporting Laurie's writing habit. Maybe I'll buy a copy for The Mechanicky Gal, since I can't let her read my Kindle edition.

Because we must encourage and support those writers that give us not only the gift or entertainment and giggles, but make us feel less dorky by their very existence.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Last week was finals week for the Smart Boy. He's in three AP classes this year, and was stressing out about them.

Turns out, however, that the class that gave him the most grief was his Debate final. He ended up in Debate by accident, and has some (justifiable) complaints about this class. The final was an oration about a topic of the student's choice.

The Smart Boy had decided to orate on the tendency of adults to disrespect minors and their ideas, even if they're only days away from their franchise. He feels fairly strongly about this, and I thought it was an okay topic.

He wrote the oration, and was practicing it, when he suddenly realized that what he wrote made no sense at all. It was, in his words, utter, stinking crap...iincoherent drivel. He indicated he had made such a mess of it, that even the topic was beyond saving, since it had been contaminated with teh stoopid.

Hehe.

So he started over and rewrote his oration on the topic of why he's a Jeffersonian and a strong defender of states' rights, and why the Federalists were full of poo.

That's my boy. My Smart Boy.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

I'm a busy human this Sunday, so enjoy this Robot Chicken sketch in my absence.

For some reason, I find this way more funny than it probably is...

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Yesterday, President Bush announced that the Federal government would bail out U.S. automakers to the tune of $17.4 million.

The plan has some pretty significant conditions attached, including limits on executive compensation, dividend caps, federal review of transactions over $100 million and a restructure of wage and benefit agreements to be more in line with foreign auto manufacturers doing business in the U.S.

According to the Washington Post,

Spreading the risk and pain of the bailout across workers, debtholders and other "stakeholders" was necessary to justify putting taxpayers also at risk for the rescue of otherwise failed businesses, Bush said.

You think?

Crap. The Shrub finally did something right.

Who'd a thunk it?

This week's winner for Comment of the Week is John the Scientist, who made me chuckle and chortle with the following quote and comment IRT Pat Boone's ridiculous assertion that anti-Prop 8 activists are practically identical to the Mumbai terrorists. Really, they could be twins!

"Slavery was abolished ... and these true rights were not obtained by threats and violent demonstrations and civil disruption"

Uh, there was that Recent Unpleasantness Between the States that might have had a touch to do with Abolition. And, you know, even the Red-Staters down in Georgia characterize that as a violent demonstration and civil disruption.

That Recent Unpleasantness Between the States. *snort*

Congratulations, John, you win a holiday week of bragging rights and Awesome Sauce.

Friday, December 19, 2008

"I'm sleepy. Why are poking a camera into my bedroom? I don't try to take pictures in your bedroom."

Former Illinois cop Drew Peterson, who is a suspect in the disappearance of his fourth wife Stacy, and the murder of his third wife Kathleen, is engaged to be married! She's 23, he's old enough to be her father! Does this prove that Stacy is dead? Is his fiance dumber than a stump? Who Cares!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Today's Hillbilly is none other than Pat Boone, washed up singer and right-wing whack-a-loon.

Yeah, I was surprised to learn he was still alive, too.

So who read Mr. Boone's essay in World Net Daily about the so-called correlation between proposition 8 opponents and the Mumbai terrorist?

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

I doubt very seriously that there's much crossover in the readers of Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men and World Net Daily. So for those of you who missed this little missive of joy, I'll quote a small portion here. Mr. Boone is discussing the similarities between the terrorists of Mumbai and the opponents of Prop 8:

Oh, I know the homosexual "rights" demonstrations haven't reached the same level of violence, but I'm referring to the anger, the vehemence, the total disregard for law and order and the supposed rights of their fellow citizens. I'm referring to the intolerance, the hate seething in the words, faces and actions of those who didn't get their way in a democratic election, and who proclaim loudly that they will get their way, no matter what the electorate wants!

Oh. My.

Am I the only one who is tired, tired, tired of the bogus assertion of evangelical Christians that they are somehow persecuted because their unearned privilege is being slowly replaced by true equality? I've got news for you, Mr. Boone - you need to come down off the cross. Whether it's religious displays on public land, Christianity in public schools or religious dogma insinuating public legal discourse, you are not being persecuted. You're simply being placed in the some boat as everyone else. The gayz are not angry at you because they're intolerant and hateful - I don't see them trying to abrogate your rights. They're angry because you're violating the 1st Amendment and trying to make your religious "laws" the Law of the Land. It's called the establishment clause, also known as separation of church and state. Perhaps you've heard of it.

As for them "getting their way" in violation of the will of the electorate...I'm sorry, Mr. Boone, but did you pass high school level history? Have you even heard of the idea that our national laws and institutions were deliberately constructed to protect the minority from the tyranny of the majority? Have you ever heard of a Supreme Court ruling called Brown v The Board of Education? When a law is instituted that is violation of the Constitution of the United States, that statute is unlawful, and will eventually be overturned. Of course, you probably think that's just "judicial activism," seeing as how you're a privileged straight white guy, and all.

Mr. Boone also asserts that the Constitution does not guarantee "equal rights" to the gayz in regards to marriage because marriage is a religious creation, and thus not addressed in the Constitution.

I know I want to take my cue on Constitutional law and the meaning of the Fourteenth Amendment from a washed up singer. How about you?

Really, Mr. Boone? Really? Are you really such a dumb-ass that you can't see that marriage is both a civil arrangement and a religious covenant? Prop 8 opponents aren't trying to force gay marriage into churches, synagogues or mosques who find such arrangements untenable. Religious institutions are private. The courthouse, however, is public. As in, governed by the rule of law, subject to the First and Fourteenth Amendment. My husband and I are completely irreligious, and yet our civil marriage is legal because we're of the opposite gender and our family fits into your religious view of the world? But a gay couple shouldn't be afforded the same civil right?

And don't try and obfuscate the issue with that "civil union" drivel. "Civil unions" and "marriage" do not convey the same set of legal rights. If they did, civil ceremonies would all be "civil unions," and "marriage" would be reserved for religious ceremony and institutions.

Here's my favorite quote from Mr. Boone's mouth-breathing crapola where he's describing Prop 8 opponents:

...hedonistic, irresponsible, blindly selfish goals and tactics of our homegrown sexual jihadists...

I'm really not sure how he arrived at this. I mean, hypocrite much, Mr. Boone? The Prop 8 proponents used deceptive advertising, out of state money and other unsavory means to "get their way." And yet the folks fighting for the same rights you enjoy are the ones who are selfish and irresponsible? Their lawful demonstrations and activism makes them "hedonistic?" Yeah, you're right. How dare they demand equal treatment under the law! Selfish bastards!

You'd think the gay agenda included forcible sodomy for right-wing whack-jobs, the way he goes on.

You know what Mr. Boone's screed really reminds me of? Jesse Helms and other Jim Crow proponents trying to squash the civil rights movement. After all, them uppity black folk can't be trusted to self-govern or vote responsibly, and quality education would just be wasted on those people.

Just like equal marriage rights would just be wasted on these people, huh, Mr. Boone?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

One of the blogs I read on a regular basis is called "Cosmic Variance." It's a group blog written by physicists, astronomers and other big brains, and I started reading it shortly after my Smart Boy expressed a serious interest in physics as a career.

Sort of a confluence of Nerd Love and Parental Pride.

Most of the time I really enjoy it. And occasionally they make me feel like a Pakled to their Geordi La Forge.

Take this entry on "Making Your Integrals Dimensionless." The lovely Julianne Dalcanton waxes poetic about "the rate of photoionizations per volume" and boldly asserts that this equation is "something you can wrap your brain around:"

Dr. Dalcanton may be able to wrap her brain around this equation, but when I try it, gray matter leaks out of my ears and I start to think the Smart Boy is a lot smarter than I thought.

And clearly, I'm turning into a Pakled. I am smart, and I am strong! I look for things!

Well, the holidays have officially arrived.

I'm feeling blue.

I've had trouble with depression around the holidays on and off for many, many years. Some years it hits me hard and I alternate between wanting to take out my eyes with a fork or sleeping through the whole thing. Some years it just flits across my day like a bug looking (and failing) to find some lunch.

This year I'm feeling middling blue.

The precursors this year were the fact that I couldn't get up the motivation to send out Christmas cards, and I also didn't prepare gift baskets for friends and family. For me, this is a "danger, danger, Will Robinson!" moment, and a pretty good indicator of the blues' arrival.

Usually I take solace in buying Christmas presents for friends and family, because I like giving presents. This year, however, I didn't spend as much, and two of my primary gift receivers wanted cash. A trip to the ATM isn't exactly filled with holiday cheer.

Plus our holiday plans are now up in the air due to unforeseen (and uncontrollable) circumstances. That's making everyone blue.

So, a propensity to holiday depression + un-joyful gift giving processes + one neurotic dog + one hurt Hot Mom + an economy in the crapper + uncertain job security = holiday blues.

As Hellboy would say - Aw, Crap.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

This week's 'tard is an energy company called "Estacado Energy Services," a subsidiary of the Roosevelt County Electric Cooperative.

It seems that Estacado has a non-exclusive licensing agreement with BlackLight Power for the production of thermal and electric power.

It seems that BlackLight Power claims to be able to turn water into a boundless, cheap source of energy. Most scientists believe that this claim violates the laws of physics. In fact,

if you ask nearly any physicist if it's possible for a hydrogen atom to enter a lower energy state than the ground, or resting state they hold in nature, and you're likely to get an unequivocal "no".

I'm not a physicist and I don't play one on T.V. (although my progeny intends to be one). So I have to bow to those who have the education, training and wherewithal to address this claim. And they all say this process is bogus.

So it appears that Estacado Energy Services is buying into a snake oil scheme. Maybe they think it's a risk worth taking. Maybe Dr. Mills, BlackLight's founder, convinced them of the efficacy of his device. Maybe they frequently run out to Whole Foods for their daily dose of AquaMantra and they BELIEVE. Or maybe they're just 'tards.

Of course, no one would be happier than me if I'm the 'tard in this scenario - water being a boundless, cheap source of energy? Yee-Haw!

But I'm not holding my breath.

H/T to SkepChick.

Monday, December 15, 2008

In this era of economic uncertainty, there are a lot of folks who are either out of work, or believe they're going to be out of work shortly.

That feeling sucks.

I work in telecom, and as such have always had an uncertain professional future. Some years are worse than others, and since my Smart Man and I both work in this field, we've always ensured we have sufficient cushion to weather any reasonable storm.

This year, however, is the worst year I can remember.

And that makes me feel...sucky.

Because I'm the kind of person who really, really likes to be in control of my own future. And currently, I'm really, really not.

My solution is to take control of the aspects of my professional life where I still have some options. Since I'm a technologist, that means training and certification.

So I'm currently in a training and certification frenzy, learning and testing on every technology that might reasonably be considered valuable in today's job market. My current skill set makes me absolutely employable, but I want to be über-employable. If I end up on a job hunt, I want my qualifications to blow every other candidate out of the water, and I want to make them look like illiterate gits compared to the awesomeness that is me.

I realize how feral that sounds, but for me, it's really a matter of taking control of my own future. I have no control over the economy, the technology budgets of my company's customers, or the strategy my company's leadership team chooses to take. Other than performing my daily tasks to the best of my ability, and looking for a job title that increases my value to the company, I really can't control whether or not I will remain employed during this recession.

So I'll cram my brain full of technical facts, in the hope that it will give me some modicum of control over these tumultuous times.

Self-delusional? Perhaps. But it's something productive I can do. Fortune favors the prepared mind, and I intend to be prepared.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

It seems that an Iraqi journalist is not pleased with the policies of President Bush, and expressed his displeasure by throwing his shoes at the President during a press conference in Baghdad with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki.

The reporter, Muntadar al-Zaidi, threw the shoes and shouted, "This is a farewell kiss!" Evidently throwing shoes at someone is a terrible insult in Iraqi culture.

Well.

I'm no friend to GWB or his policies, but I have to say this guy has bigger cajones than me. Perhaps it's my military background, but I would never consider physically attacking the President.

Of course, I also lack perspective - my country has not been overrun by foreign invaders ostensibly there to "free me," resulting in a breakdown in the rule of law and a lack of public services. Given those circumstances, I might be tempted to throw my pumps, too.

But not the Jimmy Choo's.

Last night I attended the Christmas concert of the Longmont Chorale, the community choir where my Hot Mom sings and sits on the Board. This year, the Longs Peak Flute Ensemble performed with them. I'd never heard a flute ensemble before, and I have to say that while I'm not a huge fan of the piccolo or the soprano flute, I've decided the bass flute is the coolest instrument ever.

Each year, the chorale purchases a bunch of poinsettias to decorate the church where they have their Christmas concert. After the show, chorale members can buy the plants for $10.00 and take them home.

My Hot Mom bought one for herself and one for my Hot Gram this year. Because she's going to be staying here at the Yellow House the week of Christmas in order to watch her Granddog while we're out of town, she asked me to take her plant home with me. I've decided to name the thing "Audrey."

I hope I don't kill it before Friday, when my Hot Mom is scheduled to arrive. All the plants in this house are silk, and there's a reason for that. I have no skilz with live plants. I kill cacti. Normally I wouldn't try this at home, but I'm going to do my best. Hot Mom is watching the Incomparable Boogie™ so he won't have to go to a kennel, and the least I can do is to try and keep her man-eating poinsettia alive. Wish me luck.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

There's a good Frontline World story from 2006 up on the PBS website about my favorite charity, Kiva.org. You can find it here, and I think it does a good job of explaining why I'm so very fond of this group.

So far I've helped to finance 33 loans in 20 countries. In my joint account with Amy, we've helped to finance 17 loans in 10 countries.

Helping others is made of the Hawesome.

This week's Comment of the Week Award goes to none other than Matt W, of the very honest and ethical state of Illinois.

When discussing the benefits and mechanics of infusing "essences" into water in order to "capture their quantum mechanical vibrations," Matt had this suggestion as to how it's done:

...the oils are infused with nano tuning forks to capture the vibrational essences.

I'm so going to infuse my body with nano tuning forks in order to capture the vibrational essence of "Janiece." Then I'm going to sell it to the sarcastic-impaired and make a fortune. It'll be stocked at Whole Foods right next to the "Kabbalah Water."

Congratulations, Matt, on winning the Comment of the Week!

Friday, December 12, 2008

My Smart Boy is a vocal musician, and has been participating in his school choirs for the last six years. This year he's a senior and he's leading the tenor section of the top co-ed choir at his high school. I'm proud of my Smart Boy, and I've always enjoyed going to his concerts.

My family enjoys it, too. Depending on the time of year, the weather, and everyone's health, he typically has anywhere from 2 to 12 family members there to cheer him on. While it's embarrassing to have your own cheering section at a school event, he secretly likes it and certainly knows that it beats the alternative, i.e., having no support at all.

Last night was his Christmas concert, and there was nine of there to cheer him on. His choir did some pretty challenging pieces, and closed with a great rendition of one of my favorite pieces, The Carol of the Bells. Fun, right?

Well, yes. It was fun. But it would of been more fun if the spectators hadn't been raised by wolves.

When we sat down, there was a couple in front of us. There was about 20 minutes before the concert was scheduled to start, and the man was fiddling with his Blackberry.

Now, I have nothing against putting "wait time" to productive use. I myself brought my Kindle so I could show it to my Hot Aunt, who's considering buying one for herself.

The difference is that when the music teacher came out and started the concert, I turned it off and put it away. The guy with the Blackberry? Not so much.

There were three groups performing last night, as well as a number of solo performances, and the show lasted for an hour and forty minutes. I shit you not, this asshat fucked around with his Blackberry the entire time.

His kid was obviously in the last group to perform (the same one the Smart Boy is in), because when they took the stage, he put the device away and made an effort to pay attention. That lasted about 2 minutes, where he took it back out again, just so he could hold it in his hand. Crackberry much?

Attention, asshat parent! Reading your e:mail while the students are doing their best to give a good performance is disrespectful, discourteous, and makes you a self-important fuckstick. I've got news for you - you are not that important. You're not. Your time was no more or less important than anyone else's at that performance, including the students. You may think you're the MAN, and that makes good manners optional for you, but you couldn't be more wrong if you thought GWB was the best president EVAH. Why the hell didn't you just stay at the office, if it was such a sacrifice for you to lose those "productive" hours? Or you could of hung out in the hall with your precious Blackberry, until your kid's group came on.

What a dick.

The Smart Man was tempted to snatch the Blackberry out of his hand and fling it against the concrete wall. All of us were making sotto voice cracks about the glare from the screen and his incredibly bad manners, including the Smart Man calling him a prick in a loud voice after the show was over.

I know a lot of people who choose to use RIM devices. I realize it's a valuable tool that helps people manage their professional and personal responsibilities. What it's not is an excuse to behave rudely in public, and to disrespect the people around you with your self-importance.

Get over yourself, people, and turn that shit off when your attention should be elsewhere.

Janet Jackson pregnant! At 42! Will she lose her fabulous body? Is Michael Jackson's niece or nephew fucked from the get-go? Who Cares!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I have Nerd Love for Patrick Fitzgerald.

I thought he was the cat's pyjamas when he did his number on Scooter Libby,* but his latest professional coup against Illinois Governor Rod R. Blagojevich is making me swoon.

The tag lines on his blog include "Fighting for truth, justice and the American way," "Think globally, prosecute locally," and "Remember kids - Just say 'No Thank You' to Graft!"

So he has a sense of humor in addition to a strong moral compass.

Plus he married a Head Start teacher who was age appropriate, in spite of being identified as one of Washington's most eligible bachelors.

*sigh*

While I recognize that everyone is human and has their own clay-flavored feet, I'm going to be devastated if Mr. Fitzgerald goes the way of Eliot Spitzer. If the Chicago Tribune breaks a story about Fitzgerald's secret love nest where he keeps a pool boy/sex slave named "Alonzo" who doesn't speak English, I'm giving up all future Nerd Love for the politically active. I'll stick with scientist and policy wonk Nerd Love, who are less likely to break my cold, cynical heart.

Patrick, I know that's a lot of pressure, but with great power comes great responsibility. And I just know you understand that.

*What the hell is up with a nickname like "Scooter" for a grown man in a position of power? Scooter? Seriously?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

*ring, ring*

Governor Rod Blagojevich: Hello?

Karma: Governor Rod Blagojevich, please. This is Karma calling.

RB: This is Governor Blagojevich, but I don't know any "Karma."

K: Clearly. But I think you're going to get to know me pretty well moving forward, Mr. "anti-corruption."

RB: I don't know what you're talking about. Listen, I'm a busy guy - I have Important Business to attend to. What do you want?

K: I want to talk to you about that "Important Business."

RB: You and everyone else. If you want to make me an offer, funnel it through my Chief of Staff, John Harris.

K: Make you an offer? Oh! You mean for the open Senate seat. I don't want to be a senator - I already have a job. And some days, like today, I just love it.

RB: Then why the hell are you calling me? I have to work on filling my coffers before that fucking ethics law takes effect. Who the hell thought that was a good idea?

K: Most people, actually. But I am going to "make you an offer." One I don't think you'll be able to refuse.

RB: Really? I'm always up for offers that can't be refused! Especially if they include additional goodies coming my way. Lay it on me, baby!

K: Don't call me baby. And you'll be happy to know that I'm offering this opportunity in cooperation with my new BFF's over at the FBI. Really, it's a new day. I never thought I'd work with those uptight suits.

RB: The FBI?

K: Yeah. Those guys were really on the ball with this one. Did you know that they've been wiretapping you?

::cue crickets::

K: Hello? Governor?

RB: Madelaine! Get my attorney on the phone!

K: I'm afraid your attorney isn't going to help you much on this one, Gov. That actually have you on tape wondering how much you can get for selling the Senate seat vacated by President-Elect Obama. Really, dude? That's not change we can believe in or change we need. Although, given the state of Illinois politics, I think blowing the place out with a high pressure fire hose might be in order.

RB: MADELAINE!

K: I think Madelaine is probably being deposed by the U.S. attorney right about now.

RB: Christ. How did this happen?

K: Do you really need me to answer that? I think we both know what happened. But you can take solace in the idea that the Chicago Tribune will probably be incredibly conscientious about covering this. Since you expressed such a detailed interest in their editorial staff, and all.

RB: What a nightmare.

K: No, it's Karma.

*ding-dong*

K: That's probably the FBI now, coming to arrest your corrupt, greedy self. Enjoy your publicity and your perp-walk, Governor. Have a nice day.

H/T to the Washington Post for the source material.

I'm a busy human today, so here's a fabulous recipe for Snickerdoodles to keep you busy:

Snickerdoodles

1 cup soft shortening (butter flavored Crisco preferred)
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs
2 3/4 cups sifted flour
2 tsp cream of tartar
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

1. Mix shortening, sugar, and eggs together thoroughly
2. Sift flour, measure
3. To sifted flour, add cream of tartar, soda and salt.
4. Sift again.
5. Gradually add flour to above mixture of Crisco, sugar and eggs. Dough may get heavy.
6. Chill dough, covered. At least 1 hour and up to 24 hours.
7. Roll into balls the size of small walnuts.
8. Roll in mixture of sugar and cinnamon.
9. Place about 1 inch apart on ungreased cookie sheet.
10. Cook for 9-11 minutes at 375-400 degrees, until lightly browned and still soft. The cookies will puff up and then flatten.
11. Let cool on pan for 5 minutes, then remove to cooling rack.
12. If you prepare small cookies, this will make about 125 cookies.

Snickerdoodles are my favorite cookie, in no small part because it's fun to say "Snickerdoodle."

Monday, December 8, 2008

I swear I'm not making this up.

There is a product sold at Whole Foods called "Aquamantra." From their website:

Aquamantra: Premium Natural Spring Water is simply, water that resonates with the energy and frequency of your well-being. The quality of your thoughts determine the quality of your life and NOW your water. We deliver powerful messages to you through the mantras, I AM GRATEFUL™,I AM HEALTHY™, I AM LOVED™ or I AM LUCKY™ .

Evidently the power of quantum mechanics forces these feel-good messages into the very molecules of the water, resulting in intense feelings of gratitude, health, love or luck.

No, I'm not making this up. Quit asking. Follow the link.

What really kills me is that people buy it.

Even taking into account my low tolerance for the woo, who believes this shit? It has to be the biggest pile of steaming poo I've every heard. The mysteries of quantum mechanics infuses your water with all the benefits of The Secret? Really? Really? Clearly, these folks have more money than brains.

I think the message on the bottle should say I AM A 'TARD™.

H/T to the SGU.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

The Smart Man and I had a fabulous time with Hot Chick Anne and our Smart Friend last night.

First Anne and I went for pedicures at my local place, and the weather actually cooperated by remaining above freezing while we were waiting for our toes to dry. Go, us!

Anne got a chance to meet the Smart Boy, who came home from his debate in time to say hello, so now there's an official UCF sighting.

Then it was off to Junz for tasty food. The Smart Men and Anne enjoyed sushi, while I had my usual sea bass and risotto. There was an insane amount of fish consumed (but not by me - I had my entree and called it good). There were martoonis. There was hot Saki. There was beer. And there was Mochi Mango Ice Cream.

Both Anne and the Smart Friend are awesome friends and good company. I'm so lucky.

Also, it's December 7th. Random Michelle and Elizabeth Moon both have good entries on the importance of this date to our nation, and Jim had an excellent one last year.

Let's remember the fallen, and have a good Sunday.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Today promises to be a pretty awesome day.

After taking care of some errands and a few minor chores, Hot Chick Anne and I will be going for pedicures this afternoon. The good news on this one is that the place where I go has these awesome massage chairs. The bad news is that this is the same place where I ran into September 'Tard of the Month, the anonymous pedicure customer. Hopefully she'll stay home today, so that my blood pressure will remain constant.

After our fabulous pedicures, we'll be going to dinner at my favorite local restaurant, Junz, with the Smart Man and his Smart Friend. Junz is a French/Japanese fusion place, and they also serve sushi. I'm not a fan of sushi, but they have a really excellent cooked menu, as well, so I'll get something tasty while the sushi lovers fill themselves to bursting. They also make a really stunning lemon drop martini. Hm...martini's!

Great friends, great food and chick stuff. Can it get any better than this?

This week's Comment of the Week award goes to Nathan, Brooklyn-based location manager extraordinaire, who made me laugh out loud (literally) with the following Stick Spam:

Dear Sir or Madam.

I am most sincerely contacting you regarding a most excellent business opportunity for our mutual benefit to all. THIS IS NOT A SPAM.

My uncle has recently passed on and was not a rich man, but having spent years collecting sticks, he leaves a most wondrous collection of sticks. Sticks of every size, color and shape imaginable. These are truly wonderful sticks. I am able to offer sticks for a most reasonable price.

Please make any offer for sticks. I know you will find them useful and decorative and they must provide many years and hours of future enjoyment.

P.S. There may be a small additional fee for the sticks to make their way through Customs Inspection.

THIS SI NOT A SPAM!!!

Most wondrous, indeed. Thanks, Nathan, for keeping it real.

::terrorist fist bump::

Friday, December 5, 2008

The Incomparable Boogie™, waking up from a nap on his futon. Note that his leg hair is growing back, so he does not so much resemble a plucked chicken as a Clydesdale foal.

So Cute!

Boy George convicted of falsely imprisoning a "male escort!" ::wink, wink:: With handcuffs! Over nude photos! Who Cares!

And I think Jim would look fabulous in that hat. Really.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Via Random Michelle, it appears that a teller at a Credit Union in Sandy, Utah, has decided that her tongue really is the best instrument available to chemically analyze suspicious substances.

When a customer brought in some coins, the teller in question noticed a powdery white substance on the money. She's evidently seen too many late night cop show reruns, because she tasted the substance to determine what it was.*

Yeah. She tasted it.

Now you know why there are two 'tards this week.

Christ on a crutch. Let's hope she chooses not to spread those genes into the community pool.

*It was powdered laxative.

I've been feeling a bit stabby the last few days for a variety of reasons, so today we're going to try and uplift the tone around here.

There's a man who lives in Fairfax, Virginia, who has done pretty well for himself. The son of a Baptist minister and a retired Air Force man, he now owns his own company, and established a family foundation to help those less fortunate than himself.

Meet Earl W. Stafford. His foundation has spent $1 million to reserve a large section of the Marriott in Washington, D.C., including 300 rooms, four suites and $200K of food and drink.

Instead of using all this space, he's going to give away the accommodations, including food, parties, and tuxedos and ball gowns, to ordinary folks from around the country, so that they might participate in "The People's Inauguration." He plans to invite members of the military, the disadvantaged, and the sick. He wants everyone to be able to participate in this slice of American history, and is working with other non-profits to make it happen.

So in mid-January, there will be at least some people who will be able to attend the festivities who aren't the cousin of a Congressman, or a celebrity, or a mover or a shaker. Some of the people there will be just ordinary Americans, who will witness this most profound event in our history.

It's not a huge thing. He's not saving the U.S. economy. He's not bailing out industries. But he's allowing people to participate in public life in a way they otherwise couldn't.

Pretty cool.

Bravo, Mr. Stafford.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

While most people who hang our here also visit Wil, I wanted to embed this anyway because it's Awesome with a side of Awesome Sauce.

Seems those charming folks in Nigeria are at it again. But this time, instead of needing your help getting their funds out of the country, they want to rent you a house.

Using ads on Craigslist, they offer homes for rent at ridiculously low prices. When someone answers the ad, they respond that they're "for a crusade to West Africa (Nigeria)," and that the renter should send the deposit. They then send a blank key, and the renter is out of luck, since (not surprisingly), the advertiser doesn't own the home in question.

Here's my question. Who decides to rent a house without looking at it? Who sends deposit money to Nigeria for a house in Denver without seeing the property and meeting with an agent?

'Tards, that's who. And they're getting taken.

I understand the desperation involved in trying to find a suitable place to live, especially if you have children, but who thinks something like this is legit?

Christ, people are dumb.

One of our holiday traditions is to go and see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra every year when they tour. The Denver performance is tonight.

Here's a video of TSO performing "Christmas Canon Rock."

It's already December, which means it's time to vote for November's 'Tard of the Month. There are only three candidates this time - somehow I missed a week in there.

This month's candidates are 52% of California Voters, who thought that denying others' right was a fabulous idea, LCDR Brian Waite, whose use of his military uniform in his evangelizing couldn't have been more obvious, and President George W. Bush, who believes if he sticks to the "lalalala I can't hear you!" school of politics, his legacy will be secure.

Vote early, vote often:

poll by twiigs.com

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

As you all know, I'll be taking a required Leadership course in my studies for the Winter Quarter.

Today I ordered my textbooks, and I'm reaching for the butter knife, big time.

The main textbook for this class costs $175.00. That's right - $175.00. For an undergraduate level leadership course textbook.*

I was already irked that I have to take this course at all, and now I'm just fuming. $175.00. Seriously? For a textbook written by someone who probably has less real-world practical leadership experience than I do? For a course that I couldn't be less interested in taking?

The thing that really chaps my ass about this is that the most valuable courses I've taken in this program are the ones that don't have required textbooks - instead there are a variety of readings from various sources, all of which can be found online through DU's Penrose Library. The courses that require expensive textbooks are the ones that make me want to take out my own eye with a fork. The most expensive have been the ones from the Leadership and Organizational Studies catalog - the catalog I have the least interest in.

Man, these people must be really impressed with their work. I'm glad someone is - because I think it's a huge fucking scam. It's absolutely shameful to be rooking students who have no choice about the matter. Many adult students have to take out significant loans in order to afford to go back to school, and to charge them such outrageous prices (adding to their debt in the process) in order to line someone's pocket makes my blood boil.

To coin a phrase, they're fucking oxygen thieves.

*My company pays tuition assistance, but DU is such an expensive school, the reimbursement only covers tuition and fees, not textbooks. So this is coming out of my pocket. My righteous indignation over this matter in no way negates how incredibly lucky I am to have my company helping with my education.

So today's the day that the "Big 3," Detroit's car makers, are due to deliver their detailed plans to Congress in an attempt to receive $25 million in bail-out funds.

Two weeks ago, these pinheads arrived in DC on their private jets to boohoo about how tough it is to maintain profitability in today's economy. Additionally, Ford CEO Alan Mulally indicated that in light of the current economic climate, he thought his $22 million compensation package was just dandy, thank you very much.

So these spoiled little brats want my money? To reward their own incompetence? Yeah, right.

Hey, Big 3 CEO's! Yeah, you!

First of all, I want to say just how incredibly arrogant you motherfuckers are. You run your company into the ground, then pop in on Washington in your private jets to ask for additional monies to meet your obligations. Money that will be provided by me.

I've got news for you asshats - you suck. If you were doing your jobs competently, you wouldn't be in this position to begin with. You have completely poked the pooch on this, and now you want me to bail your sorry ass out? Well, guess what? There's a major difference between you and me, aside from the fact that you make hundreds of times more money than me. I'm good at my job. The deliverables I produce are typically of high quality and provided in a timely manner. Account teams request me when they need work done, because I'm competent. As a result, I'm fairly compensated for my work. That's how it works, you fuckwit - you perform a job, you get paid. If you do a good job, you get paid well. If you suck, you should get a boot in your squishy ass. Guess which category you fall into? Here's a hint - needing the government to pay your bills when you're a privately owned company is not an indicator of overwhelming genius.

What's that you say? It's the Union's fault? Really? Really? I don't think I buy that, either. While I certainly have some issues with Unions, and I think they could be a hell of a lot more flexible when the company they work with implodes (see: Studebaker), they are not the sole torch-bearer on this particular cluster fuck. Steve over at Story Bones makes some good points on this issue - I suggest you go read it, you ill-informed fuckstick.

You want my money to "save" your company? The very first thing you need to do in order to prove you're serious about anything but lining your own pocket is to either resign, because you clearly can't be trusted with the assets of your company, or offer to work for free until your company is fixed based on your ideas and execution. A standard set by a man named Lee Iaccoca, in case you were wondering, who also not only promised to pay back his bail-out, but actually did so.

Your strategy reminds me of Homer Simpson looking to sell technology - "Can I have some money now?"

Christ on a crutch, entitled much?

Of course, the real losers here are the men and women who work in these money pits, whose financial future is tied to the vagaries of men who couldn't find their ass with both hands (but seem to have no trouble finding the keys to their private jets). Them I'm willing to help. The suits? Let them eat cake. Stale cake.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Seems that HBO is going to begin airing its production, House of Saddam beginning December 7th.

My reaction? Bleh.

The guy was a megalomaniacal whack-a-loon who committed atrocities in order to maintain his power. Why would I want to learn the details about his mental illness?

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

I'm a busy human today, as I have a number of designs that need to be completed before close of business. Because if I don't, THE WORLD WILL END. I'm sure you understand.

So in lieu of content today, enjoy this video from the awesome movie Across the Universe. Here's Carol Woods and Timothy Mitchum singing my favorite cut from the soundtrack, Let It Be.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

We all know that I think Jenny McCarthy's campaign against vaccination is a dangerous piece of work, and that I think she's the poster child for the stoopid.

She hasn't taken any kind of break from spreading her drivel, but now she's getting the attention she really deserves. Via Skepchick, here's The Rant Puppets on Jenny McCarthy, Poster Child for the Stoopid:

Hee!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

This week's Comment of the Week award goes to none other than Random Michelle K, who, upon hearing that rheumatoid arthritis actually attacks joints, says:

I would much rather rheumatoid arthritis attack the Taliban and Osama bin Laden. And if it took a swipe at W, that wouldn't be so bad either.

So congratulations to Michelle, who has the foresight to envision a better tomorrow for us all.

Today is the First Anniversary of Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men.*

Wow - a whole year.

In spite of the fact that this year has flown by in meat space, it feels like I've been blogging forever. I mean, clearly I haven't - the archives don't lie, at least in this case. But my on-line presence has become an integral part of my life, and I thoroughly enjoy interacting with others through this medium.

Of course, I also enjoy having a space where I can rant publicly at no charge to me, so there you go.

So a big "thanks" to the Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men community, who have made this experience enjoyable, challenging and fun. Here's to future rants, and more bloggy fun.

*And I didn't miss a single day. Nope, not a single one.

Friday, November 28, 2008

So my Christmas Prezzy arrived today from my Smart Man:

That's right - it's an Amazon Kindle!

I will now pause so you can gnash your teeth with bitter, bitter envy.

As you can see, I only have two volumes on it. The Rights of Man, by Thomas Paine ($0.99 at the Kindle store) and Practical Demonkeeping by Christopher Moore ($5.99 at the Kindle store). Both arrived in seconds.

It will probably take me some time to fill it up with books - I have three shelves in my bookshelves dedicated to my "to read" pile, and I can't see purchasing volumes that I already own just to have them on my nifty new device. But any future purchases will be downloaded, provided they're available in the Kindle store.

I read a bit of The Rights of Man on it to see how the user interface was, and so far I'm pretty darn impressed. The electronic paper is easy to read, even in poor or bright light, and I like that I can increase or decrease the font size, depending on how tired my eyes are. The protective case is pretty sturdy, and it makes it easy to hold the device like a regular book.

Also, my end of year bonus was deposited today, AND the Smart Man did all the laundry! It's shaping up to be a pretty good day. Go, me!

And go, Smart Man, who hooks me up with the latest in geekitude, and does chores. You rock.

It's Boogie Blogging Friday, and here's The Incomparable Boogie™, giving thanks for the things he values in his doggy way:

The Magic Cupboard
His soft Grandma
Daily Walkies
Those who love him

Boogie's a simple creature, and it doesn't take much to please him.

There's something to be said about living simply.

Brittney's kids have potty mouths! 3 year old Sean even drops the "F" Bomb! Will the kids do the smart thing and tell both his parents to fuck off? Who Cares!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

What I'm thankful for this year:

My Smart Man, and his Smart Mouth, who keeps me laughing and sane.
My Smart Boy and my Hot Daughter, who are slowly growing into adults I'll be proud of.
My Hot Mom, who worries because she loves me, and provides comic relief.
My Hot Sister, who understands me, and my Smart Brother-in-Law, who understands her.
My extended family, who are there when you need them, and aren't when you don't.
My Boogie-Dog, who brings little bits of joy to every day of my life.
My meat friends, who make me smile and laugh, and give me a reason to be my best self.
The UCF, a community I didn't know I needed until they came into my life.
My job, which I love and pays well, and allows me the economic freedom to pursue the things I love.
My health.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Via Random Michelle, I took the Civic Literacy Report Quiz this morning.

I received a 96.97% on the quiz, because I couldn't remember the topic of the Lincoln/Douglas debate in 1858.

You want to know what's appalling? The average score for Americans on this quiz is 49%. College educators scored 55%.

I don't even have a bachelor's degree, and I scored better than college professors? How sad and pathetic is that?

December 10, 2008 is International Human Rights Day, and in support of my friends and family on the LGBT spectrum, I'll be "calling in gay" on December 10th, and instead donating my time to service.

Information on this project can be found here, but it's essentially an effort to mobilize the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender community and their allies in a positive way by using International Human Rights Day to show love through volunteerism. Any time is a good time for volunteerism, but to do so in support of my friends and family who are daily discriminated against because of who they are is a Very Good Thing.

Go, volunteerism. Go, activism. Go, solidarity.

H/T to MWT, who made me aware of the movement.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I've been listening to Fareed Zakaria's The Future of Freedom: Illiberal Democracy at Home and Abroad.

I've always enjoyed his columns in Newsweek, but he's even smarter than I thought.

Would this be considered "Nerd Love" or "Policy Wonk Love?"

Seriously, has this guy even read the Constitution?

As popular as President-Elect Obama is in some quarters, as quickly as he's bringing his cabinet together to address the issues that will be his responsibility on January 20, 2009, I have news for you, GWB: You're still the president.

That means you don't get to prance around in a Peruvian poncho, ducking and dodging responsibility for taking action in our current economic crisis. You don't get to ask the incoming Obama administration for "advice" in some strange attempt to get out of your responsibilities early. You claim to have some historical connection to Harry Truman - well then, man up and abide by Truman's mantra.

Here's the scoop, you 'tard - Barack Obama has no authority. NONE. Under our Constitution, (a document I believe he's read, being a Constitutional Law professor and all), he can't do shit until he's sworn in. That means the buck stops with you. Get off your ass and make some decisions. You've already fucked up your legacy beyond any saving, and trying to lay low while the economy collapses in an attempt to make this Obama's problem is beneath even you.

Get to deciding, deciderer.

Monday, November 24, 2008

I, for one, welcome our new Nanite Overlords.

Last night I was watching Television with my Smart Man, and as he zipped by a commercial we heard the following snippet:

"I didn't know rheumatoid arthritis could attack my joints!"

Really? You didn't know arthritis attacked joints? Because it so typically attacks soft tissue and organs?

Leaving aside for a moment how incredibly inappropriate Direct to Consumer (DTC) ads by pharmaceutical companies are, how stupid do these marketers think the general population has to be before they write a commercial like this for their campaigns?

Here's a clue, you fuckwits: If your target audience actually has rheumatoid arthritis, and they don't already know the disease attacks joints, they are way too stupid to be making medication recommendations to their physicians about their care.

Seriously. Who thinks this shit up, and then gets paid for it?

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