Looking for the Helpers

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother's words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers - so many caring people in this world. 

Mr. Rogers

When the unnamed Connecticut shooter was doing his dirty business on Friday, Victoria Leigh Soto became a helper. She hid her first grade class, lied to the gunman about their location, and was then shot to death. Not a single student under her care was harmed.

No matter how awful, how deranged, how evil the unnamed shooter was, Victoria Leigh Soto was infinitely, amazingly, courageously better.

Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History - RADM Grace Hopper

This is Rear Admiral Grace Hopper. She had a Ph.D in mathematics from Yale University. She joined the Naval Reserves under the WAVE program in 1943 in order to serve during World War II. She served at the Harvard Computation Lab as a civilian contractor after the war was over, and continued her service in Naval Reserves until she was forced into retirement in 1986 at the age of 79.

She had an incredibly accomplished life, earning award after award for her work in Computer Science, developed the first compiler for a computer programming language, conceptualized the idea of machine-independent programming languages, which led to the development of COBOL, helped to develop UNIVAC 1, and released the first compiler languages.

When I joined the Navy in 1984, there were not a ton of female role models. Women weren't even permitted to attend the Naval Academy until 1976, and the first woman to achieve flag rank did so in 1972. Women weren't allowed to serve on combatant vessels until 1993.

But there was always Grace. Excluded by law and inclination from combat service, she took on the field of Computer Science in the most male dominated culture in the country. And she was accomplished. She was worthy of respect. She did not apologize for her gifts or her work, instead making her mark on every aspect of her chosen profession with humor and grace.

I'm a systems engineer. The work of RADM Hopper is the cornerstone of my profession. As she noted, "Life was simple before World War II. After that, we had systems." Just so.


In her own words: 

A ship in port is safe; but that is not what ships are built for. Sail out to sea and do new things.

I've received many honors and I'm grateful for them; but I've already received the highest award I'll ever receive, and that has been the privilege and honor of serving very proudly in the United States Navy.

I admire and respect RADM Grace Hopper, who excelled in both my chosen fields - the military and STEM. Courageous, smart, non-conformist. Ill-behaved.

___________
This blog post is inspired by Ada Lovelace Day, an initiative to "share stories of women — whether engineers, scientists, technologists or mathematicians — who have inspired you to become who you are today. The aim is to create new role models for girls and women in these male-dominated fields by raising the profile of other women in STEM."

Remembering my Auntie

The last time I saw her - our family reunion last year.

I can't believe you're gone.

I suppose that's always the case when someone passes away suddenly and without warning. The shock of the event hits the observers like a punch in the stomach, leaving us gasping, in pain, uncertain what to do in order to get our breath back.

So we cry, and in the tradition of our family, we cry together, because no one cries alone in our presence.

By most measures, you led a perfectly ordinary life. You married young, selecting your mate wisely and well the first time out of the gate (unlike most of the women in our family). You quickly had two children. You moved often, depending on your husband's military assignment. You participated in your community wherever you went. You gained your own professional skills.

But you were anything but ordinary.

No one told a story like you. The lines around your eyes and mouth were a testament to how often you laughed, and how joyfully. You lived a life of service, volunteering to help in your sons' school activities, teaching vacation bible school, visiting the old folks at the nursing home. You relished your role as a Grandma, rejoicing in each expansion to your family.

I remember how angry you were after 9/11. I couldn't understand it at first, until I thought about it. After a lifetime of your husband's deployments to the very region that spawned the terrorists, you saw the loss of life on that day as a loss to your family. And family meant everything to you.

Your faith was a cornerstone in your life. You took the lessons of your church to heart, trying to live your life generously, with compassion, and love. You were never sanctimonious about it, and you never made me feel like you loved me less because I didn't share your belief.

Do you remember when you told me that it's better to be kind than truthful? I do, and while I still struggle with that lesson, I try to remember it and follow your example.

Do you remember when I told you that I thought your kids had grown into fine men, and you told me that the credit was theirs and not yours? I do, and I apply that lesson with my own kids.

Do you remember when you won one of the prizes in my Summer Reading Program? You were so excited to have WON, and your enthusiasm reminded me that even the smallest victories can enhance our daily lives.

With your example, you taught me that people of good conscience can disagree about even the most fundamental things, but still remain partners in this life, supporting and loving one another as members of the same tribe. 

My heart is breaking for your family. Your husband, my beloved Uncle, married you when he was 19 years old. He's never really been an adult without you by his side, and I imagine how lost and alone he must be feeling. My cousins, both decent and good men, have lost their mother, and their children their Grandmother.

I don't know what happens to us when we die. Really, no one knows for sure. But I hope desperately that wherever you are, your light continues to shine, and you can experience peace in knowing that you've left this world in better shape than your found it. But I'm selfish enough to want you to have stayed in this world longer. We're a poorer place without you, and I will love and miss you, all the days of my life.

Gay is Good

Frank Kameny, a pioneer in the civil rights struggle for the LGBT community, died Tuesday at the age of 86.

Dr. Kameny was an amazing human being. A World War II vet and a Harvard Ph.D in astronomy, he was fired from his job at the U.S. Army Map Service in 1957 because he was gay. So he sued the federal government, taking his case all the way to the Supreme Court. In 1961. He lost, but spent the rest of his life working for civil rights for the LGBT community.

I can't tell you how grateful I am to this man and his cohort. Because of him, my Hot Daughter's Lesbianism isn't considered a "psychiatric disorder." Because of him, my Hot Daughter can live openly and honestly, not being forced to hide who she is on a fundamental level because the society in which she lives looks at her with disgust.

Can you imagine how centered, how profoundly comfortable in his skin he must have been? When he sued the federal government, being gay was a psychiatric disorder, no one would admit to knowing someone who was gay, it was accepted practice in every community in the Union to denigrate, belittle and discriminate against its gay members. And yet Dr. Kameny stood up for himself. He was treated unfairly, so he did something about it, and then spent the rest of his life doing something about it.

Gay is indeed good, Dr. Kameny. Fair winds and following seas - and thank you.

Nerd Love - Elizabeth Warren

Even if Elizabeth Warren wasn't one of the most principled, ethical public servants of her generation, she would have earned that honor with this comment. Reality - it's not just for non-politicians anymore.

Inspiration

More details are now available surrounding what exactly happened the day of the Giffords shootings. A surveillance tape has been viewed by law enforcement, and apparently one of the things that happened in the confusion was the emergence of yet another hero.

After Loughner started shooting into the crowd, Judge John M. Roll evidently sacrificed his life in an effort to save another. Richard Kastigar, the investigative and operational bureau chief of the Pima County Sheriff's Department, describes what happened:

[The judge was] intentionally trying to help Mr. Barber. It’s very clear to me the judge was thinking of his fellow human more than himself… He pushes Mr. Barber with his right hand and guides him with his left hand. The judge was on top of him and is covering up Mr. Barber, literally lying on top of him, and his back was exposed.

I can speculate that Judge Roll's family might wish events had unfolded differently, but one thing I can say with surety: In the confusion and heat of this moment, this man proved who he was. Unequivocally, and without a doubt. As John Steakley wrote, "You are what you do when it counts." On January 8, 2011, the Honorable Judge John M. Roll stood up and was counted.

Fair winds and following seas, Judge Roll. While I would wish for another outcome for you and your family's sake, your final moments are a credit to your humanity.

______
H/T to the inspirational Eric.

National Coming Out Day

It's National Coming Out Day!

I fully support all members of the LGBTQ community in their quest to be true to themselves publicly as well as privately. The closet is dark and gloomy, my friends. Join us in celebrating your diversity and unique contribution to our culture and society.

Don't be afraid. Even though there are intolerant asshats who will judge you for being true to yourself, there are also people who support you fully. Come out into the sunshine and bask in the warmth of being the same person both publicly and privately - we've got your back.

Legacy

I really enjoy reading the writing of Christopher Hitchens. I think he's smart, well-read, reasons well, and his point of view is almost always defensible.

That doesn't mean I agree with him. In fact, I disagree with a good portion of what he writes. As a liberal, I think his political point of view has always been misguided. Even though I'm an Atheist, I don't think Religion Poisons Everything. I tend more towards the opinion that if something is going to get poisoned, it's because people do it, and sometimes use religion as a rationalization to do what they want to do. But he always makes me think, which is the most complementary thing I think I can say about a writer.

I admire the man, and never so much as now, as he faces his probable death from esophageal cancer. During recent public appearances and writings, he has firmly established his legacy of unwavering intellectual honesty in a way that really touches me. He makes no excuses for the role his personal lifestyle choices may have played in his illness. Knowing that there is probably a connection between his lifestyle and his diagnosis, he doesn't rail against the universe, but accepts his outcome while still acknowledging his disappointment that he won't be able to do the things he had planned for the next decade. He's honest about his feelings, concerns and perceptions about being a cancer patient.

I certainly wish the man a full recovery (although I know it's not likely), but regardless of the outcome, he's earned my respect as a role model for intellectual honesty when facing adversity.

Let's Visit the Celebrity Seraglio

I'm completely uninspired today when it comes to blog fodder, so I asked for suggestions on Twitter. My non-despicable minions responded with a request that we revisit our celebrity seraglio, since really, what's more fun that pretending you actually have a chance with some famous hawtie who is probably already involved with some other famous hawtie?

Here's how it works - I give you the top five members of my celebrity seraglio, and the peanut gallery can either approve, disapprove, throw rotten vegetables, or otherwise make unwise, perverse and witty suggestions - double entendre optional.

Ready?

Number 5: Dwayne Johnson, aka "The Rock." I have no earthly idea if Mr. Johnson has a brain in his head, or if he's just pleasant to look at, and really - for the number 5 spot, who gives a good goddamn? Pool Boy...oh Pool Boy...*

Number 4: Sean Carroll, theoretical physicist at the California Institute of Technology and author of From Eternity to Here. Once he referred to certain sections of the universe as "lumpy," he was a shoe-in.

Number 3: Brian Cox, particle physicist at the University of Manchester, author, and black hole creator at CERN's Large Hadron Collider. He used the word "bullox" to describe the LHC doomsayers on The Colbert Report, which made me shoot Pepsi out of my nose.

Number 2: Jon Stewart. He pwned Walter Wagner on national television, plus he's smart, funny and rich. Who could ask for more? No, really - what more could you possibly want?

And the Number 1 member of my celebrity seraglio? That's right - astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, head of the Hayden Planetarium, author, and media geek extraordinaire.

Be still, my heart. 

________
*Why, yes, I did just totally objectify Mr. Johnson there. Totally.

************
Edited at 3:16 p.m. to bring in the rest of my short list: Liam Neeson, Lance Reddick, Ezra Klein, Matt Taibbi and (of course!) the Incomparable Evan Newkirk,

Grace

I know I'm slow off the mark on this one, but if you haven't read Chris Brown's article about Roger Ebert in Esquire, then you should click through and spend the time on it. It's definitely worth it.

Mr. Ebert also has a journal hosted by the Sun Times, which is an amazingly candid look at the things he cares about and thinks about, and stands as an incredible testimonial to his skill as a writer and communicator.

I only hope that when my own health fails I can bless myself and those around me with this kind of grace in the final years of my life.

I <3 Jimmy Carter, Part II

It's no secret that I love Jimmy Carter, for a variety of reasons. I consider him to be one of the most moral and upstanding statesmen of his generation. I believe his example is one that gives me something to aspire to, and that he stands as a stunning role model for those people of faith who also value critical thinking skills and the pursuit of secular truth.

I've been making my way through his books, and while his sojourn into fiction was singularly unimpressive, I'm enjoying his nonfiction. I'm currently listening to Our Endangered Values, and in spite of our diametrically opposed religious viewpoints, I'm having more and more "what he said!" moments. Here is a man who has lived his whole life as a person of deep faith, and yet his viewpoints are ones that I can find common ground with. Part of that has to do with the fact that he's an unapologetic liberal, of course, but he also stands as an example of how devout Christians can act in the public sphere with compassion and a capacity for compromise.

For example, here is a quote from this book where President Carter discusses the label "fundamentalist," and how it pertains to a society's ability to come to terms with all its members:

For generations, leaders within my own church and denomination had described themselves as “fundamentalists,” claiming that they were clinging to the fundamental elements of our Baptist beliefs and resisting the pressures and influence of the modern world. This inclination to “cling to unchanging principles” is an understandable and benign aspect of religion, and a general attitude that I have shared during most of my life. I soon learned that there was a more intense form of fundamentalism, with some prevailing characteristics:

• Almost invariably, fundamentalist movements are led by authoritarian males who consider themselves to be superior to others and, within religious groups, have an overwhelming commitment to subjugate women and to dominate their fellow believers.
• Although fundamentalists usually believe that the past is better than the present, they retain certain self-beneficial aspects of both their historic religious beliefs and the modern world.
• Fundamentalists draw clear distinctions between themselves, as true believers, and others, convinced that they are right and that anyone who contradicts them is ignorant and possibly evil.
• Fundamentalists are militant in fighting against any challenge to their beliefs. They are often angry and sometimes resort to verbal or even physical abuse against those who interfere with the implementation of their agenda.
• Fundamentalists tend to make their self-definition increasingly narrow and restricted, to isolate themselves, to demagogue emotional issues, and to view change, cooperation, negotiation, and other efforts to resolve differences as signs of weakness.

To summarize, there are three words that characterize this brand of fundamentalism: rigidity, domination, and exclusion.

I was walking the Boogie-Dog as I listened to this passage, and it's a good thing I was the only one on the path. I was waving my arms like a loon, saying, "Yes, yes! Exactly! That's exactly right!" He applies this definition to both religious and political fundamentalists, and points out how very unproductive such a mindset is. It's difficult to achieve any kind of political compromise or work with others of differing viewpoints towards a common goal if you're too busy engaging in smug assholery to listen for areas of commonality.

He goes on to point out the inherent hypocrisies in some of the fundamentalist positions, including the dichotomy between someone who claims to be 'pro-life' but simultaneously supports the death penalty; the subjugation of women by religious hierarchy; and the infiltration of the religious right into politics.

All of these positions are things I've ranted about before, but since I'm a dirty, dirty heathen (and a liberal!), my opinion doesn't really mean much in the eyes of the devout. But Jimmy Carter? The most devout president in recent memory?* He's got some credibility, and the fact that he has the intellectual honesty to call out his own coreligionists makes me admire him even more.

I don't agree with every position taken by former President Carter. Such adulation leaves no room for meaningful dialogue, and would probably make him stunningly uncomfortable. It really is too bad he was such a poor president, because he is an incredibly effective human being.


*Yes, including W. Comparing the thoughtful, analytic, studious faith of Jimmy Carter to the blind devotion of W is like comparing my science background (i.e., fan-girl) to that of a scientist with an advanced degree - i.e., just plain silly.

Teddy Kennedy

From Deus Ex Malcontent, the best eulogy of the Lion of the Senate I've read today:

Love him or hate him, tire of his personal triumphs and tragedies or be fascinated by them, Ted Kennedy was a force of nature; a larger-than-life, yet all-too-human, champion of unapologetically liberal values; a man who fought for the poor, against racism, and who took up the torch of community service and volunteerism -- even during a lengthy period in our nation's history when such issues were anything but fashionable.

Sleep well, Senator. I hope we're worthy of your legacy.

And Now, Some Good News

Until this week, I had never heard of Saqib Ali. He's the first Muslim to serve in Maryland's Legislature, where he represents the 39th District. I know nothing about his platform (other than the fact that he's a Democrat), nothing about his views or his ambitions.

But I did read his Op-Ed in The Gazette after hearing him speak on NPR's Tell Me More.

In his piece, he takes a firm stance in support of marriage equality for same-sex couples, in spite of his religion's unequivocal position on the matter. In his words:

"My stance on this issue isn't politically expedient. I am the first Muslim in the legislature. Homosexuality is strictly forbidden in Islam. As such I have evinced much grief from my most conservative supporters.

"But I recognize that I represent people of all faiths and no faith at all. If I tried to enforce religion by law — as in a theocracy — I would be doing a disservice to my both constituents and to my religion."

Wow. Just...wow.

Like many privileged white Americans, I am guilty of stereotyping Muslim Americans after 9-11 and reading Ayaan Hirsi Ali's Infidel. It's not something I'm proud of , but I'm honest enough with myself to admit that such dark thoughts have invaded my mind from time to time.

And here comes Saqib Ali, educated in part in Saudi Arabia, with his public declaration of a seperation of church and state that shames not only my dark thoughts, but many so-called "real" Americans (i.e., white Christian Amercians) who clearly don't have nearly the Constitutional grasp that he does.

Thank you, Mr. Ali. I'll be keeping an eye on you in the future.

On the Nature of Service

I come from a family that has a tradition of service.

That service has taken many forms, depending on the individual. Some joined the military. Some served in law enforcement. Some donated time or money to charities. All of us are informed voters, although we vary widely on the political spectrum.

The only commonality is the idea that you really needed to pay for the piece of earth you're sitting on, and take some personal responsibility for the society in which you live. You do that not by accumulating "stuff," but by making your community (however you define it) a better place.

Because I was raised to value service, I have tried to instill the same idea in the Smart Twins. Some days I think the idea has "taken," other days, not so much. Teens can be remarkably inconsistent, and they're really not fully baked until they're about thirty, in my opinion.

I also recognize that not every family has the same tradition, or places the same value in service. And that's okay - it takes all kinds to contribute to a diverse, interesting and free society. It's not up to me to tell others how they should spend their time, money or professional effort.

But if you want to get me fucking wrapped around the axle and encourage me to stab you in the eye with a fork, disrespect the service of someone else.

Whatever type of service someone chooses, their sacrifice is worthy of respect. Even if you think they're a complete and total asswipe in every other aspect of their life, the fact is that they chose to serve others in some capacity. Such a decision and commitment deserves respect, providing the service is honorable. To withhold your respect, or worse, to devalue their contribution to our society out of spite or ignorance, makes you a complete and utter douchebag. Who deserves to be stabbed in the eye with a fork.

Congratulations, Professor Barbara Liskov

Yesterday, the 2008 A.M. Turing Award was announced. The winner is Professor Barbara Liskov of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

Congratulations, Professor Liskov - truly a remarkable accomplishment.

Do you think Professor Liskov might like to be an honorary Hot Chick? Probably not. She's kind of out of my league...

My Kind of Guy

This morning I listened to an interview of Leonard Downie Jr. on Fresh Air.

In it, Mr. Downie revealed that during his time as the Executive Editor of The Washington Post, he voluntarily gave up his right to vote. He felt that since he was the final gatekeeper and arbiter of fairness, he needed to be open minded even in the privacy of his own mind, in order to ensure a lack of bias. For the same reason, he also did not read the Op-Ed page during his tenure.

He also mentioned that while employees of The Washington Post are certainly permitted to vote, they are not permitted to exercise other types of rights such as signing petitions, contributing to or working on campaigns, or demonstrating. These restrictions are in place to force employees to maintain a sense of impartiality.

Like Terry Gross, I'm of two minds about this.

As a citizen of this country, I'm much more interested in having people as informed as Mr. Downie vote than I am in having some illiterate, uninformed simp do so.

And yet, he sees his willingness to sacrifice his right to vote as a service to the 1st Amendment, and made it willingly for the privilege of working as the Post's executive editor. For 17 years, he was the final arbiter of what was included in this very prestigious publication, and he felt such power should be tempered as much as possible by a desire to remain unbiased.

There's a reason why The Washington Post is my primary source of news.

And Mr. Downie is my kind of guy.

Proud Parental Moments

Last week was finals week for the Smart Boy. He's in three AP classes this year, and was stressing out about them.

Turns out, however, that the class that gave him the most grief was his Debate final. He ended up in Debate by accident, and has some (justifiable) complaints about this class. The final was an oration about a topic of the student's choice.

The Smart Boy had decided to orate on the tendency of adults to disrespect minors and their ideas, even if they're only days away from their franchise. He feels fairly strongly about this, and I thought it was an okay topic.

He wrote the oration, and was practicing it, when he suddenly realized that what he wrote made no sense at all. It was, in his words, utter, stinking crap...iincoherent drivel. He indicated he had made such a mess of it, that even the topic was beyond saving, since it had been contaminated with teh stoopid.

Hehe.

So he started over and rewrote his oration on the topic of why he's a Jeffersonian and a strong defender of states' rights, and why the Federalists were full of poo.

That's my boy. My Smart Boy.

On a More Inspiring Note

I've been feeling a bit stabby the last few days for a variety of reasons, so today we're going to try and uplift the tone around here.

There's a man who lives in Fairfax, Virginia, who has done pretty well for himself. The son of a Baptist minister and a retired Air Force man, he now owns his own company, and established a family foundation to help those less fortunate than himself.

Meet Earl W. Stafford. His foundation has spent $1 million to reserve a large section of the Marriott in Washington, D.C., including 300 rooms, four suites and $200K of food and drink.

Instead of using all this space, he's going to give away the accommodations, including food, parties, and tuxedos and ball gowns, to ordinary folks from around the country, so that they might participate in "The People's Inauguration." He plans to invite members of the military, the disadvantaged, and the sick. He wants everyone to be able to participate in this slice of American history, and is working with other non-profits to make it happen.

So in mid-January, there will be at least some people who will be able to attend the festivities who aren't the cousin of a Congressman, or a celebrity, or a mover or a shaker. Some of the people there will be just ordinary Americans, who will witness this most profound event in our history.

It's not a huge thing. He's not saving the U.S. economy. He's not bailing out industries. But he's allowing people to participate in public life in a way they otherwise couldn't.

Pretty cool.

Bravo, Mr. Stafford.

Nerd Love

I've been listening to Fareed Zakaria's The Future of Freedom: Illiberal Democracy at Home and Abroad.

I've always enjoyed his columns in Newsweek, but he's even smarter than I thought.

Would this be considered "Nerd Love" or "Policy Wonk Love?"

Madeleine Pickens Saves the Day

I've always had a soft spot for horses. We kept horses when I was growing up, and I rode for many years with the Jefferson County based Westernaires.

Like many young girls, I eventually outgrew my obsession, but I have fond memories of my involvement with horses in my teen years.

So when the Bureau of Land Management decided to euthanize a herd of 2,000 mustangs and burros because no one was available to adopt them, it was somewhat upsetting. The BLM didn't want to euthanize the animals, but simply doesn't have the budget to maintain them.

Enter Madeleine Pickens, wife of energy kazillionaire T. Boone Pickens.

Bless their hearts, she and Mr. Pickens volunteered to adopt not only the entire heard of mustangs and burros who were slated for euthanasia, but also a herd of 30,000 currently in federal holding pens.

They're working out the details now in terms of finding land for the horses and burros.

Thanks, Mr. and Mrs. Pickens.