Random Thoughts and Rules to Live By, Part 1

Friday, January 29, 2016
Making sarcastic remarks that hurt others' feelings isn't funny. It's just mean.

Link Me Up, Scotty - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly Edition

Thursday, January 28, 2016
This makes me smile. Gooooo - SCIENCE!
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This is VERY disappointing. I supported the Wounded Warrior Project for a number of years, then started learning some things that made me uncomfortable and stopped. I'm sorry to learn that things got worse instead of better.
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I wish I'd written this open letter to Republican friends. I'll just have to be satisfied that I'm friends with the man who did.
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Opportunity has spent 12 years on the surface of Mars, when it was designed for a 90 day mission. I can't tell you how much I love this little rover.
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Sometimes, people are just awesome. AND THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY EYE DAMNIT.
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Speaking of emotional labor (we weren't, but I was, just last night), here's a good perspective on why women hate, with the heat of a thousand burning suns, the idea that a man only has to say, "If you just tell me what you want me to do, I’ll gladly do it” in order to be a good help-meet. While such an attitude may appear to show willingness to help, what it really does is put the emotional labor of managing life and household on the woman. Not cool, dudes.

H/T Sister Misty

Link Me Up, Scotty - Don't Go Breaking my Heart Edition

Monday, January 25, 2016
And people wonder why I think food security is such an important issue when it comes to social justice. That sound you hear is my heart breaking.
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Turns out that some of the information on Hillary Clinton's "private" e:mail server was beyond Top Secret. Speaking as a Navy Radioman and former CMS Custodian, I can't tell you how much this bothers me. Had I been so lackadaisical with the information with which I had been entrusted, I'd be enjoying my all expense paid holiday in Fort Leavenworth, not running for President.
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15 things that will earn me a punch in the face with an iron skillet if I ever do them to my future daughter-in-law, should I have one. Question: Who does that?
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Those fucksticks up in Oregon just keep getting more and more douchey. Cordon them off, cut off their supply lines and starve them out. Then line the streets with contemptuous laughter when they're finally subject to the perp walk they so richly deserve.
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What I wish more people knew about losing a child. Number 4 is one I've been struggling with a lot lately.
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Video of my heart: How to age gracefully. My personal favorite is at the end when the 9 year old strategizes on how to get a rise out of your babysitter. Why didn't I think of that?


Link Me Up, Scotty - ZFG Edition

Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Colorado has another of those ridiculous "personhood" Amendments on the ballot for November.  This is not the first time this has come up here, and each time it's been voted down resoundingly. I can only hope my fellows will help me do so again.
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FINALLY, fitness trackers for your wrist that pay some respectful attention to form, rather than just function. ARE YOU LISTENING, FITBIT? YOUR SHIT IS UGLY.
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More and more women are adopting the new "ZFG" (Zero Fucks to Give) attitude. In my own case, I can say my migration to running out of fucks is directly attributable to realizing that caring what other people think has never, ever, contributed to my happiness or success, but trusting my inner voice and working hard has. QED.
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An interesting take on why there aren't more women in STEM. Hint: Making the tools of science pink is not the answer. Acknowledging and talking about institutional sexism is. 
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The Rocky Horror Picture Show remake has been fully cast, and I have to say I'm pretty happy with their choices.
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The Governor of Michigan is butthurt because the Democratic candidates think his treatment of the Flint water crisis was less than stellar - and said so. Poor baby.
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Why I think we live too long.

H/T AC
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Years ago the Mechanicky Gal nagged me until I started doing some of these yoga poses every day. Now I need to add two more the daily regimen.

Cubii - Product Review

Monday, January 18, 2016
I'm a knowledge worker. That means that my company pays me for what I know, and for applying that knowledge in a non-physical way.

What that means from a health perspective is that I sit on my ass all day, every day, in service to my knowledge. This puts me at higher risk for early death, cardio vascular disease, diabetes, and other unpleasant outcomes, even though I've been a conscientious exerciser for decades.

I'm not down with that.

But I'm not down with changing my profession to something physical, either - I'm good at what I do, and I make a good living. I'm not about to go work for minimum wage at the local library restocking shelves in order to fix this.

So now I'm using a Cubii.


The Cubii is an underdesk elliptical device. I sponsored the initial effort through Kickstarter, providing start up funding for the students who came up with the idea in exchange for my device. It arrived the last week in December, and I've been using it conscientiously for the last two weeks.

On a Positive Note

  • The Cubii is a sleek device, and heavy enough to stay in place during exercise. 
  • It's surprisingly quiet. It makes a low humming noise while in use, which brings up the ambient noise in my office, but does not interfere with my daily activities. I've used it during conference calls (including ones where I needed to speak often), and no one has given me any feedback about the noise. 
  • There's no kneeknocking - the device is designed in such a way that my knees don't bang on the underside of my desk during use. 
  • The tension control is mechanical, not electronic, and controlled by a dial on the top of the device. I consider this a plus, as I suspect it will last longer as a result of this design choice. 
  • It was easy to assemble, and they even included a phillips head screwdriver with the device.  
  • It provides a low stress way to get mild exercise that is non-impactful. I've been trying to get a case of plantar fasciitis on my left foot to heal for MONTHS, and I wanted something that would not aggravate that condition. 
  • It fits underneath my desk when not in use without interfering with my normal desk activities. 

On the Other Hand

  • The Cubii has its own application, which provides the usual metrics such as calories, strides, miles, and minutes. The application isn't bad, but it doesn't yet integrate with FitBit or other fitness applications. What this means for me is that I have to either wear my FitBit on my shoe, or log the steps/strides manually after each session into my FitBit account. The calorie calculator is also off, but the automated calculators on exercise gear are always off, so I don't really hold it against them.



  • The device came with two little plastic cups. The purpose of these cups is to secure the wheels of your desk chair to the floor so you don't roll around while pedaling. I use a bamboo desk mat in my home office, in order to spare the carpet, and these cups are not effective on that service. My desk chair slid around most annoyingly. In fairness, they may work better on industrial carpet (like you'd find in an office building), but I can't speak to that. 



  • So instead of using my desk chair, I brought up a folding chair from the basement and placed it on a small area rug for the purposes of using the device. I sit in the folding chair while pedaling, and the chair stays in place with no trouble. However, it's a PITA to change out the chair when I want to use the device, and the folding chair is considerably lower than my desk chair, which is awkward. Plus the lack of padding on the folding chair makes my butt ache, in the same way riding a bicycle will.


  • This device is pricey. A new device is $347.00, and since I don't know how long it will last, I don't know if that's a good value or not.

General Notes

  • For normal people, the tensioner is varied enough to meet your goals. At the lowest tension, there is no resistance at all, and pedaling is basically just rotating your feet. The highest tension will make you sweat (provided you pedal long enough). I got myself a small USB powered fan for my desk so when I pedal for hours on end, I can stay somewhat comfortable while working. Depending on your fitness level, YMMV.
  • I'm in decent shape from a cardiovascular perspective, and the highest I can get my heart rate on the highest resistance is about 105. This device will not replace normal gym time for those interested in increasing their cardio conditioning.
  • From a calorie burning perspective, I've found the device to be very effective, provided you have the desire and environment to use it throughout the day. I measured my calorie burn using a Polar heart rate monitor, and found that I burn about 175-200 calories an hour on the device. I try to use it 2.5 hours a day, which translates into 500 calories a day. That's an additional pound a week for weight loss, or a significant calorie boost for those who just like to eat tasty food. For me that's worth it, since I can accomplish that 500 calories deficit while being simultaneously productive in other ways. Such as writing product reviews.
  • From an environmental and usage perspective, I've found my ability to get that 2.5 hours in pretty easy, at least on work days. Over the course of a standard work day, I usually have at least 2 hours of conference calls that I need to be on, but that I don't lead. These can be training sessions, sales reviews, etc. and since I need to be actively listening (but not leading the discussion), the Cubii gives me a change to move during that time instead of just sitting there feeling my arteries harden.
  • I really like the flexibility of the device. I can set it up and use it during the conference calls mentioned above, or store it under the desk when I need to lead a call or concentrate heavily on a task. I considered a treadmill desk or a standing desk when I was putting my home office together, bur didn't like how it would lock me in to a specific configuration. There are times when I really need to go "heads down" and work on ONE TASK. This configuration allows me to do that when necessary, while also allowing me to engage in physical activity when I can. 
Overall, I'm happy with the Cubii, and intend to continue to use it. Q&A in the comments, for those interested.

12 Days of New Years - Lifelong Learning

Friday, January 15, 2016
My first self-improvement goal for 2016 is lifelong learning.

I've been an on-again/off-again student for many years. I currently have something like 320 credit hours, and an Associates degree in general education, but after Moe died, I found I had little energy for continuing education. I just couldn't bring myself to care.

So in 2016 I wanted to reinvest some time in learning new things, without having to deal with the expense and rigidity of college curricula. Getting a Bachelors degree at this late date isn't going to get me anything on a professional level, so I see no reason not to suit myself.

I've decided to use The Great Courses to continue my education. They have hundreds of titles, many of which appeal to me, they provide a format I use anyway, and they're far more affordable than upper division college courses. I've added a new category to my What I'm Reading page to include this endeavor, and will listen to one hour a day of my current course. I still intend to read non-fiction in addition to my normal pleasure reading, but I want to use The Great Courses to address specific interests where I feel I have a gap.

By the end of the year, I should have completed about 30 courses. Go, me.

Link Me Up, Scotty - Sex Ed is the Bomb Edition

Tuesday, January 12, 2016
Sex is not shameful. The sexuality of human beings is not shameful. And now a new sensibility is growing about sex ed and how it should be taught, led by some straight talking dads. If parents consider sex to be a shameful topic, kids will feel the same, with crappy results all around.
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Losing one of my children has always been the worst thing I could imagine, but losing Moe to suicide was so much harder than the worst possible outcome that raced through my mind when the Police came to our home two and a half years ago. Living with it is still the hardest thing in my life, and this article helps explain why. The money quote:
Slowly, you begin to accept the unacceptable. This opens the door to forgiveness. You forgive yourself, your loved one and anyone else involved, again and again, until there is no more fight and no more fury in you. There are no more walls or resistance. Everything has been stomped out of your heart. You have been broken. You are empty -- and, equally, you are fully open.

This openness creates a perceptible shift of your internal axis. You are no longer knotted and pretzeled. You feel altered, changed, different. You begin to breathe a little deeper. You have found a more expansive understanding and a bigger, more inclusive love. These are the holy grail of your healing journey.
I'm not there yet, but I will occasionally see flashes of this holy grail in the distance. And I'm thankful, each and every day, that my family and friends are still here, holding the light for me, urging me onward in my journey. I don't know what I would have done without you. 
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The United States Air Force confirmed Thursday that the unclaimed remains of 274 U.S. service members were disposed of in a Virginia landfill between 2003 and 2008. It's not often that I'm at a loss for words, but really - I don't even know what to say to this.
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Video of my Heart: Clyde wants a kitty.


Link Me Up, Scotty - Doing the Right Thing Edition

Saturday, January 9, 2016
Men in the Oregon "Militia" have been caught falsely posing as United States Marine veterans. Because of course they have. "I'm totally shocked that these fine, upstanding defenders of the Constitution have never served in uniform," said no vet ever.
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The new nutrition guidelines have been published, and there really aren't any surprises.
Unless you're surprised by the fact that men from about 14 to 70 years old eat too much animal protein and that the meat industry has far too much influence in this country.
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Obese associates don't give a rat's ass about employer incentives to lose weight. How utterly unsurprising. I myself find the entire employer-based health management trend incredibly offensive and intrusive, and I'm someone who wants to improve my body composition and health. I just don't want my employer involved in my efforts.
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Video of my Heart: No Veteran Left Behind provides "Safe Passage" to the kids of Chicago's public schools in an effort to engage veterans in their communities and protect at-risk kids at the same time. I can't tell you how much I love this.

H/T Brother Larry


Link Me Up, Scotty - New Year's Resolution Edition

Monday, January 4, 2016
PBS recently aired a documentary based on Michael Pollin's book, In Defense of Food. I loved this book, and the documentary is still streaming until January 27th if you want to watch it. "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants."
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Living a healthy life isn't as hard as we make it out to be: Get enough sleep, move your body, eat well, spend time with others, and be grateful for what you have. Simple. But not easy.
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It always makes me gleeful when someone who is awash in their white privilege gets the comeuppance they so richly deserve when they marginalize someone else. Schadenfreude, they name is "Shane."

H/T Tempest
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Quote of my heart:


Improving in 2016

Saturday, January 2, 2016
I've never been one for New Year's resolutions. I find they're a recipe for failure, a way to set myself up for self-flagellation and disappointment. When I'm ready to change my life, I just wake up one day and do it, and that's worked pretty well up until now.

But the last couple years were pretty rough. We lost Moe in 2013, and 2014 was basically a blur of misery and grief. In 2015 we lost my dear Mother-in-Law, and built and moved into our new house. Not a lot of resources were available for self-improvement.

I want 2016 to be different.

I want 2016 to be a calmer, more emotionally stable place. I want 2016 to be a place where I have room to improve my life, and the lives of those I love. I want 2016 to be a place that allows me to nurture myself, and that will allow me to be my best self, both for my own benefit and for the benefit of those I choose to share my life with.

So I'm going to shamelessly steal an idea from K. Tempest Bradford, an author I follow. She has decided to do "12 Days of New Years," and make some changes to her own life. I liked this idea - making changes that improve my life in tangible ways, and improve my relationships and happiness instead of the usual cliche disappointments.

So each month I'm going to identify a change I want to make, and take concrete action to make that change occur. Nothing world shattering, but goals that allow me to dedicate some resources to my own journey, rather than having to dedicate everything to grief, or earning a living, or life maintenance.

Bring on 2016!