Integrity

Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Last night I was thinking about integrity (when I was supposed to be sleeping...stupid brain). I think "integrity" means various things to various people. It's usually associated with honesty, and I suppose that's certainly an aspect of integrity, but I think it's incomplete.

To me, a cornerstone aspect of real integrity is a lack of bifurcation between your public and private self. Attempting to excuse bad behavior in either arena by pointing out that you're not a douchebag in the other aspect of your life doesn't really wash. If you're a douchebag, then really...you're just a douchebag.


The reason I know this, of course, is because I've tried to use that selfsame excuse myownself. There were times in my life when I made choices that would place me firmly in the "douchebag" category, and I always tried to bolster my own ego by pointing out to myself that really, the fact that I made the crappy choice was mitigated by the fact that I was a great NCO, or whatever. Um, yeah. Not so much, Princess. Finding the will to do the hard work necessary to drag yourself from the realm of the douchebags is a huge pain in the ass, but the reward is a fully integrated personality.

One of the benefits of getting older, at least for me, is that I have finally achieved that integration, and I consider my personal and professional selves a coherent whole. I am who I am - my behavior and reactions are utterly predictable (if you take the time to get to know me), and they don't change much between personal and professional scenarios. I'm pretty happy with that outcome, and I also get to enjoy the added bonus of a less stressful existence.

Why, yes, I am a slow learner...why do you ask?

Sneaky SOB

Tuesday, March 30, 2010
I know I said I was over the HCR bill, and I really am. But I have to point this out, simply because it's just SO RETARDED.

Turns out that the HCR bill contains language that restores $250 million to abstinence only sex education. Senator Orrin Hatch (R-UT, natch), that sneaky SOB, slipped the funding in at the 11th hour. Because abstinence only education has turned out to be so effective, and all.

There is a bright side, however - the Abstinence Clowns will be saved from the economic downturn! Hurray!

It's Good to be a Secularist (PULL!)

Monday, March 29, 2010
The news is awash with reports of the latest pedophilia scandal in the Catholic Church. From the snarky to the serious to the cautious, everyone has something to say about the situation. What did Bishop Ratzinger know, and when did he know it? (Answer: Far too much, and early enough to do something about it.) Are the current attempts of the church to make themselves out like the victim in this scandal indicative of their disconnect to the rest of the human race? (Answer: Yes.) Is this the impetus the Church needs to become more relevant, more in tune with the people it's here to serve? (Answer: Probably, but I doubt they'll actually, you know, execute on that idea.)

Which brings me to the point of this blog post: It's good to be a secularist. Not because I'm not required to give 10% of my income to some mind-blowingly incestuous institution that's only interested in centralizing and monopolizing their power structure (although that's a REAL BONUS), but because I have no emotional skin in this game.

Faith is, by definition, an emotional construct. People of faith have made an emotional decision to simply close their eyes and jump when it comes to accepting ideas or descriptions of events that have no empirical data to back them up. That's not a criticism - it's simply the truth, and pretending it ain't so doesn't make it any less true.

As a secularist, my own brain doesn't work that way. I don't think the pope is divinely chosen - I think he's "elected" for political reasons in one of the most political institutions on earth. I don't think the Catholic Church has a divine mandate - I think they're a self-serving bunch of self-righteous hypocrites who are far more concerned about their own power than the people they're supposed to serve.*

So when I hear there's yet another instance of the Church letting some pedophile get away with abusing young people, I don't see a "shepherd who has gone astray" or some other euphemism. I see a criminal. I see an individual who is broken on a fundamental human level. The occupation of the individual has no bearing on what I see, other than to note that those who are placed in positions of trust, and then betray that trust, are even more reprehensible than regular pedophiles. The fact of the matter is that if you sexually molest children, I don't give a good goddamn if you're a priest, a doctor, a lawyer or  Indian Chief - you're a criminal, and you should be treated like one. If you cover it up, you're a criminal, too. If you cover it up and then give the pedophile the opportunity to do it again, then you're a criminal who deserves to be hit in the face with a shovel. Simple. Celibacy doesn't have anything to do with it (although I think it's a dumb rule). The pedophile is simply BROKEN.

Compare that to those decent, sincere Catholics who have had to deal with this scandal for so long. These poor people have had the foundation of their belief system shaken by this behavior and the Church's reaction. It's been simply devastating for many of them. Asking them to be objective about this issue is like asking a devout Jew to be objective about Israel, or middle-eastern Arabs to be objective about, well, Israel. You might find a few hardy souls who can separate their emotional investment from the topic at hand, but they'll be few and far between.

Which is why this issue should be addressed and resolved by secular authorities first when it occurs. If a priest is accused of molesting children, the local secular authorities should press charges, and proceed with prosecution if appropriate. The accused, if found guilty, should be sentenced to appropriate punishment within the laws of the jurisdiction. What you don't do is expect the Catholic power structure to punish one of their own. We've already established that the Church is incapable of doing so in any meaningful way, and in fact will allow their parishioners to suffer horribly if that means they can protect their own.

Now, if the Church chooses to defrock a priest as a result of some secular offense, I can't help thinking that's none of my business. If the secular crime has been addressed and appropriate punishment administered based on the rule of law (such as being forbidden from working with children moving forward), then what the Catholic Church chooses to do is kind of on them. The Establishment Clause demands it, at least in this country.

For my own part, I'm glad the matter is academic for me on an emotional level. I can't imagine having my world view devastated by the revelation that some noted secularist turned out to be a pedophile. Such acts are horrifying, regardless of who commits them, but it wouldn't rock my world, since my foundation is not based on an external institution.

As for the pope, all I have to say is: PULL!
______________________________________________________________

*As distinct from Catholics, who are as varied and individualistic as any subgroup.

Beastly, Come and Gone

Sunday, March 28, 2010
So Beastly finally arrived last night about 9:20 p.m., and I fed him a huge portion of Hungarian Goulash, which he seemed to enjoy, along with some Pete's Wicked Ale. Of course, we sent this photo to Jim, as proof of life:


That one's kind of an inside joke, so I don't expect most of you to get it. It was funny to us, though.

Beastly then brought in his wood turning inventory for us to peruse and admire, and after much deliberation, I chose the square piece as my "hostess gift." This morning, after Anne arrived to join us for breakfast, I subsequently pawed through his inventory again, and ended up buying these other pieces, too, mostly because (as the Smart Man noted), I like wood.


Alas, Beastly and Anne both had to leave after breakfast, so the Smart Man took this farewell photo in front of Beastly's RV, and they drove off into the bright sunshine.


Thanks for stopping by, Beastly. Next time, you're staying long enough to build us that pergola. :-)

Okay - I'm Over It

Saturday, March 27, 2010
Okay, I'm sick of hearing about the HCR Bill, and how the Republican AG's are planning on suing the feds on Constitutional grounds, and it's the end of the world as we know it, and we won and you lost, blah, blah, blah.

It passed. It's the law. I'm over it, and I'm ready to move on.

So in that spirit, here's a photo of the Incomparable Boogie™, who really doesn't give a crap about health care reform, since he has a soft dog-mom who pays all his bills.


Isn't he handsome?

And on a similar note, here's the pot of Hungarian Goulash simmering in the slow cooker, awaiting the arrival of Beastly, who is stopping here on his way to points north.


In short, I'm ready to move on from HCR. I'm currently far more interested in my dog, and my friends, and what kind of tasty dinner I can make.

Hmmm...tasty dinner.

Quote of the Month

Friday, March 26, 2010
From conservative blogger David Frum, on his fast-becoming-famous-entry, "Waterloo:"
We followed the most radical voices in the party and the movement, and they led us to abject and irreversible defeat.

Yeah, that's pretty much how I see it, too. Too bad you've now lost your job for speaking truth to power.

Attention, Tea Bagging Dipshits

Thursday, March 25, 2010
Consider:
Really, Tea Baggers? Really, GOP? This is your rational, considered response to losing this political battle?

You know, I remember how I felt when GWB was elected to his second term. I remember how furious I was, how personally I took it, that my fellow countrymen would vote such an unthoughtful man to the highest office in the land. I couldn't understand how people of good conscience couldn't see what a horrific mistake they were making in keeping that chucklehead and his puppet master(s) with their hands on the reins. It was simply UNFATHOMABLE to me.

But you know what? In spite of my anger and confusion, in spite of how utterly betrayed I felt by our system and my fellow Americans, it never once occurred to me that the correct response would be to physically threaten those whom I thought were responsible. I never thought that physically harming my neighbors, or my representatives, or participating in vandalism against Republican offices was the fabulous plan that would make the outcome more to my liking. Instead, I gritted my teeth, and tried to make sure the next election had a result more to my liking. And you know what? It did. Because that's the way things work here in the Good Ole U.S. of A. We have a self-correcting system that allows people of differing viewpoints to compromise and find solutions to our problems that certainly may not be perfect in everyone's eyes, but they're compromises we can live with.

What the Hell are you people thinking? Do you honestly think that threatening to secede, or threatening to engage in armed revolution, or threatening the safety of those representatives who didn't vote to your liking (or their FAMILIES) is actually going to get the HCR legislation repealed? I can tell you that my own reaction to your behavior is to think even less of your objections than I did before, and a thorough disgust with your tactics. You should be thoroughly embarrassed and ashamed. 

You all claim that YOU are the real Americans, that the rest of us just want to lead our great country into socialism, or communism, or Nazism, or whatever silly rhetoric your Fox News pundits are using these days. And yet, you're apparently unwilling to use the system you claim to love to effect the lasting change you claim to want, and instead engage in domestic terrorism as a way to get your way.

Who are the REAL AMERICANS in this scenario? Those who have worked within our legislative process to effect the change they believed in, or the childish, spoiled brats who lack the skills required to play with the big kids?

Go home, Tea Bagging Dipshits. Go home and cool off, then do what the big kids do. Put on your big boy underpants and do the work, within the law, to get the changes you want. It's how the system works, and you betray our country by attempting to circumvent it.

Cocoon

Wednesday, March 24, 2010
I was reading DEX yesterday, and Chez made a point that had me thinking last night instead of sleeping like I was supposed to.* The entry that made me think was called Welcome to the Real World, and in it Chez posited that the reason the conservatives are LOSING THEIR FUCKING MINDS over the passage of the HCR bill is not because the bill is the work of the devil, but because they failed to see the world for what it is, and instead saw it for what Fox News represented. Hardly the same thing, and the bifurcation between reality and the world according to that traitorous fuckstick Glenn Beck is so huge it's causing their mental processes to deteriorate and break down into the slobbering, shouting, frothy reaction we see today.

I think he has a point. In many ways, the Internet is a closed system - I read blogs written by people whose writing style and opinions resonate with me, and so I end up reading more material from the liberal side of the house than the conservative. The Daily Kos makes me want to take out my own eye with a fork, but I do get my news from the Washington Post, Newsweek, NPR, Slate and TRMS, all arguably liberal outlets.

So even though I don't think my version of "reality" is as off the rails as the Dittoheads and the sheeple that follow Glenn Beck, I do believe it would behoove me to attempt some exposure to opinion and news that would be considered "conservative." As I mentioned to a friend the other day, I want to engage in meaningful and civil discussions with the loyal opposition, but I am SO UNINTERESTED in listening to Rush/Glenn/Sean/Tea Bagging talking points.

So what to do? I think I'd like to start with a Podcast, but because I'm disconnected from the right, I'm unsure what to choose. I don't want to pick something that will give me high blood pressure - I want a conservative show that might actually, you know - FACT CHECK and HAVE SOME JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY. I also think that having some level of subtlety and nuance would be required. I don't want to hear all about how the President is a traitor, or not an American citizen, or a communist. Disagreeing with the man's policies is the job of the loyal opposition - but I'd prefer they keep their disagreement in the realm of REASON. I want to come out of my liberal cocoon, but I'd rather not have an aneurysm as a result. Which of course eliminates the entire Fox News outlet and everyone who works for them.

So...The Wall Street Journal? The Christian Science Monitor? I'm open to suggestion, y'all. 


*Insomnia simply blows. I didn't suffer from it until about 10 years ago, and even now it's only an occasional thing, but it still sucks monkey chunks when it happens. Getting enough sleep - that pearl of great price.

The Queen of the Liberal Agenda

Tuesday, March 23, 2010
I was chatting the other morning with the hilarious Shawn, fellow UCFer, Linux Journal guru and all around great guy. He was bringing me up to speed on the latest news surrounding the rebuilding of their family home, and during our conversation, we came to the following conclusions:
  • The name of my blog just screams "godless heathen."
  • You can just NEVER TELL about people who consort with ATHEISTS and PROGRESSIVES. They are SUSPECT.
  • Blogging about the word 'vagina' makes you a godless heathen, regardless of what you call your blog.
  • Shawn secretly wants to be a meth addict. Or he's a secret meth addict. I'm not sure which.*
  • Millennials are lazy, entitled gits who believe the world owes them a living. This impression was reinforced at a SXSW panel of 20-somethings where they opined, "If we could get telecommuting, flex time, and no micromanaging — we'd be hard workers!" Because, really - who wouldn't give some unproven, unskilled, inexperienced dolt the same privileges it's taken me 25 years to earn? And get off my lawn.
  • There should be a Jesus action figure with a "resurrection grip." 
  • I am the QUEEN OF THE LIBERAL AGENDA.
  • Shawn's truck may in fact be a tool of the homosexual agenda, and Shawn himself may in fact be a SECRET PROGRESSIVE.*
  • The UCF would have a vast financial future in writing and producing parody videos of Fox News, if Jon Stewart hadn't thought of it first.
As you can tell, I had a very amusing morning. I love the Internet.


*Not really. Don't go spreading viscous rumors.

If at first you don't succeed...

Monday, March 22, 2010
...try and circumvent the Establishment Clause.

I guess when your party is in danger of losing the biggest political fight in several generations, the only thing to do is go completely off the rails and introduce this little gem:
H. RES. 1175
Expressing support for designation of the first weekend of May as Ten Commandments Weekend to recognize the significant contributions the Ten Commandments have made to shaping Western civilization and the vital role they played in the development of the institutions and national character of the United States.
Because nothing says "we're taking back the House and Senate in November from you commie-socialist-Nazi-loving liberal SOBs" like pandering to real Americans who are convinced we're a Christian Nation and want the gov'munt to recognize it, too.

You will be unsurprised to learn the resolution was co-sponsored by that conservative nutjob Michele Bachmann as well as other, less well-known nutjubs. I wonder what they'd do if Representative Keith Ellison introduced a Resolution to recognize portions of the Q'uran in a formal way? Probably recommend shipping him off to Gitmo...

The Bright Side

Well, the historic Health Reform bill passed the House yesterday. Living in a Red County as I do, my own Representative voted against it, of course, and as I was walking Boogie this morning, I was greeted with this:


I guess it's supposed to imply that if the rest of the country had just done the right and honorable thing by voting in Mr. We-Don't-Need-No-Stinking-Civil-Liberties and the Stupidest-Politician-in-the-History-of-the-World we wouldn't be in this damn mess, thankyouverymuch. Unfortunately, what is says to me is that the owners of this house are members of the "fuck you, I've got mine" contingent.*

I realize, of course, that my attitude isn't entirely fair. There are many thoughtful people who opposed health care reform for a variety of reasons, chief among them being a perfectly legitimate concern about the costs associated with such legislation. I can't help feeling that's a bit of a red herring, though, and the Tea Baggers and their Fox News puppet-masters have shown pretty definitively that their opposition to health care reform has more to do with the ugly underbelly of that movement and rather less to do with substantive differences of opinion on how best to address this very real problem.

As noted by fellow UCFer Nathan:
[The anti-reform] side of this discussion includes racists, nutjobs and opportunists. So does mine. The difference is that on your side, they've become the loudest voices in the room...Even if you've got some valid point to make, I CAN'T FUCKING HEAR YOU over the racists, opportunists and nutjobs. It's YOUR job to make YOUR point in a way that can be heard...NOT MINE! If you want to have a discussion and maybe...just maybe sway anyone's opinions, you're going to have to get the racists, opportunists and nutjobs to shut the fuck up. Or at least, you're going to have to protest somewhere WITHOUT them.
Just so.

Now I still do think that the availability of health care is a moral issue, and one that simply could not have gone any longer without substantive reform. I also think this bill is kind of a watered down mess, since it did not in fact include a public option in spite of overwhelming public support. Call me a naive dreamer, but I don't think health care should be a for-profit business (Omni Consumer Products, anyone?), and the idea that a society should be judged by how they treat "the least among us" resonates with me.

And yet - it's a start. There are important aspects included in the legislation that will give many, many people the opportunity to have access to care. We have to start somewhere, and in spite of Republican obstructionism, we're starting here. Which is better than not starting at all.

I think the President has much to be proud of today. This victory may in fact cost him a second term (although I think it's far, far too early for Republicans to be be counting those chickens), but if it does - so what? This legislation puts his presidency in the same category as LBJ's in terms of the domestic agenda. Not a bad place to be, in my opinion. I, for one, am grateful that he had the courage of his convictions. It's why I voted for him, and here, at least, he came through. 

And there's a bright side! We can use this progressive victory as a lever to get Rush to LEAVE THE DAMN COUNTRY AS HE PROMISED. And maybe he'll do us all a favor and take that idiot instigator Glenn with him.



*My district, CO-6, is in the bottom 10% of districts in terms of numbers of constituents who are uninsured. Pretty fucking impressive, considering Massachusetts is included in that statistic.

Today's the Day

Sunday, March 21, 2010
Today's the day. The day the House of Representatives will have an up or down vote on health care reform.

Some say the Dems have the votes, it'll pass. Others say they don't.

The legislation's not perfect - I would have strongly preferred a public option. I would have strongly preferred the insurance companies didn't make out like bandits.

But it's better than nothing, and it addresses some really important problems in health care such as insurance for young adults, not being denied for preexisting conditions, and not being dropped from you policy if you become ill.

My biggest fear? That it won't pass, and the debate will be shelved for ten or twenty more years. That would be the one outcome I don't think I could bear.

Republicans - Get Your House in Order

Saturday, March 20, 2010
Turns out that the position of California Secretary of State is up for grabs. And guess who wants to serve her great state in that capacity?

That's right - none other than Birther-Attorney-Dentist-cuckoo for cocoa puffs whack-job Orly Taitz.

Seriously, Republicans - this is the best you can do? Really? Wow. Used to be there was some honor in being the loyal opposition in this country, but you guys are just completely off the rails at this point.

Get your house in order, before there's no one left who will take you seriously.

Orly Taitz, California Secretary of State. Wow.

Boogie Blogging Friday - The Struggle Continues

Friday, March 19, 2010
Boogie's struggle with the Damn Squirrel™ continues, and I'm afraid I'm an enabler. The weather here turned to shit overnight, so I put out our bird feeder:


Which led, of course, to the Damn Squirrel trying to decide if raiding the bird feeder was worth the risk.


As it turned out, it was not worth the risk.


And the Damn Squirrel™ was appropriately chastised.


And the Incomparable Boogie™ is on the job, so it's unlikely the Damn Squirrel™ will make another attempt as long as Boogie doesn't fall asleep.


Which he probably will.

The End.

Thanks, Anyway

Thursday, March 18, 2010
You know, Tea Baggers, I really didn't need further demonstrations that you're nothing but a rag-tag mob of easily led douchebag tools with no compassion or consideration for anyone but your own entitled selves, but thanks for the UNEQUIVOCAL PROOF OF WHO YOU REALLY ARE.



I just threw up in my mouth, posting this piece of shit to my on-line home, but I have to ask: Is this the kind of movement people really want to be associated with? Seriously?

Yeah. Good luck with that.

This is Some Scary, Scary Shit

Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Usually when someone writes something that I believe is especially thought provoking or entertaining, I simply "share" the URL through my "Smart People Speak" widget there on the sidebar. Occasionally, however, I feel the need to direct my readers to a piece in a less passive way.

This is one of those times.

Perhaps it's because I've been listening to Cory Doctorow's Little Brother, and it's making me a bit paranoid, but I found Eric's piece about the new McCain Lieberman bill entitled American Terror simply, well, terrifying. Eric's a criminal defense attorney, and knows whereof he speaks.

Head on over and get the pants scared off of you by this INSANE CLOWN POSSE piece of legislation. My next stop? Notes to my Senators, to ensure they're aware I am not, in any way, okay with sacrificing my civil liberties any further in the name of "safety."

Join me, won't you? Perhaps we could meet on the X-Net...

"Monetization"

"Monetization." Isn't that what they call it when you put ads on your blog in an effort to make your millions?

I got an e:mail yesterday from a woman who claimed to "work in a company interested in blog advertising. I found your blog engaging and I’m contacting you to ask if you are interested in blog sponsorship. Have you ever considered leasing ad space from your blog for text links?"

I'm not too hip on this idea, mostly because HCDSM doesn't cost me anything to maintain. Google graciously hosts me for free (thanks, Google!), and my domain name license is like, $10.00 a year (I just renewed it for 9 years). If I was inclined to allow advertising, I'd probably just take the easy, lazy way out and use Google's "ad sense" since I'm an easy, lazy blogger. Plus she sent identical e:mails to half of the other bloggers in the UCF, and that makes me feel less like a unique and wonderful snowflake and more like the recipient of a mass mailing. I prefer being a snowflake, thankyouverymuch.

I'm interested in the opinion of my readers, though. What are your thoughts, Hot Chicks and Smart Men?

Morality, Luck and the Price of Peace of Mind

Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Inspired last night by a conversation with the Smart Man and a thought provoking post this morning by Seth over at Fighting Commies for Health Insurance, today I'm examining my own attitude about health care in this country.

When I was growing up, we always had access to health care, including optometrists and dentists. My parents were negatively affected by Colorado's energy bust in the early '80's, but they had planned well enough and had enough financial savvy to ensure we were always covered. I'm sure it was challenging for them, but I never had to think about it. Typical entitled middle-class white kid, and I was fortunate that my parents were in a position to ensure I never had to worry.

Right after high school I joined the military, which really is the epitome of socialized medicine. If I had a problem, I went to medical for "sick call," and I was treated. As a teenager, the Navy kept after me to ensure I went to the dentist, to the GYN, to my annual check-ups.

When I got pregnant with the Smart Twins, the Navy took amazing care of all three of us. I had to have an emergency C-Section at Balboa Naval Hospital, and then I was in the hospital for a week thereafter. The Smart Twins had to stay in Neonatal Intensive Care for 5 weeks after their birth, and had we been privy to the cost of that care, there's no doubt it would have come in at $500,000.00 or more. Our cost was essentially the cost of their "food" while they were hospitalized on a per day rate. I believe it was about $750.00. For a 35 day hospital stay in an intensive care unit for two people. Again, I didn't have to worry about it, due to socialized medicine.

After I left the Navy, I continued to enjoy full health care benefits either by being married to an active duty member or because I had a civilian job that offered fabulous benefits.* I chose Kaiser Permanente as the health care provider for me and the Smart Twins (and later for the Smart Man), which includes the following co-pays:
  • Primary Care: $20.00
  • Specialty Care: $30.00
  • Preventive: $10.00
  • After Hours: $25.00
  • Emergency: $75.00
  • Hospital: $250.00/Admit
  • Rx: $10/$20
In addition to these fees, my out of pocket cost for our family's health care (four adults) is $231.00 a month. I pay additional fees for dental and vision care, but the entire thing costs us less than $300.00 a month. FOR FOUR ADULTS.

Yes, I'm a lucky, lucky human being, and by association, my kids are, too. None of us have ever had to worry about health coverage, or blowing our entire financial future because someone broke a bone, or got sick, or needed surgery. I fully realize how very lucky we are. We have peace of mind, and it costs us less than $300.00 a month in predictable expenses, and completely manageable one-time costs for visits and treatments.

And here's what I don't get. I've never had to stay in a crappy job because the health coverage kept me in handcuffs I had to accept for the good of my family. I've never had to compromise my dreams to ensure my wife and baby had the care they needed. I've never had to choose between feeding my kids and getting them the vaccinations they need. In my mind, the fact that I've never had to make those decisions makes me STUNNINGLY UNQUALIFIED to tell people who MUST make those decisions what the best choice is for fixing our health care system. The fact that I've never had to sacrifice for my family's health care doesn't make me morally superior, or in a position to tell those who struggle to "work harder" or "pull themselves up by the boot straps" or some other gag-inducing rhetoric. The answer is, I'm simply lucky. My access to health care isn't a reflection on my quality as a human being - it's a reflection of my status as a member of the Armed Forces (go, socialized medicine), or my status as someone's wife, or my status as a member of an industry that traditionally has offered great health care benefits.

Health care reform is a question of MORALITY. It's morally reprehensible to deny people the ability to be healthy and get the care they need simply because they don't have a decent education, or their parents can't find a job that offers decent benefits, or because they're members of the 10% of folks who are currently unemployed in this country.

As health care reform continues to struggle in our legislative branch and people scream and shout about reconciliation and other red herrings, I'd like to point out (again) that this issue is one of morality. Can't we please address it from that point of view?


*Make no mistake - one of the reasons my company is a good place to work is because they offer FABULOUS BENEFITS.

Life's Lessons - Now with More Bludgeons!

Monday, March 15, 2010
Don't you hate it when life's lessons come along and hit you over the head with a bludgeon? Yeah, me, too.

The most recent lesson? You teach people how to treat you.

Obvious, huh? I've known it was true for years, of course. It's a lesson I learned on an interpersonal basis when I finally pulled my head out of my ass and got my house in order about 15 years ago. People can only mistreat you and make you feel like shit with your permission, and never is that more true than in romantic relationships. It took me quite a long time to learn that lesson, but learn it I did. Go, me.

What I'm now learning is that the rule also applies in business relationships, in relationships between companies, and in government.

If your boss berates you and engages in verbally abusive behavior, she can only do so with your permission. Don't like it? Do what needs to be done to remedy the situation.

If a company is married to the idea of a zero sum game with every other company with whom they do business, you can bet they're going to treat their "partners" with all the fairness and grace of an abusive spouse. Don't like it? Either do what needs to be done to remedy the situation or fire their snotty ass.

If a government organization treats their citizenry like chattel instead of like their boss, do what needs to be done to remedy the situation.* Throw the bums out, run your own candidate, engage in some grass roots activism.

What you don't get to do is mope around crying about how tough you've got it, and how bad people/businesses/the government treats you, and how "someone" should do something about it. Guess what? You're someone. Why don't you do something about it? Besides cry, I mean.

I don't know why it took me so long to think about this without the aforementioned bludgeon. Silence is acceptance, and if you're not willing to fight for the treatment you believe you deserve, you're accepting what you get.

So obvious. So hard. So worth including in my life's philosophy.


*Hey, they may be dumber-than-a-box-of-rocks racist asshats being manipulated by big business and the religious right, but at least they're doing something about the political issues that make them passionate.

Jam Winners!

Sunday, March 14, 2010
As you all know, I am FINISHED with my statistics class (and did I mention I'm FINISHED WITH MY STATISTICS CLASS?). However, as pointed out in the last post, I still have a few loose ends to clean up in the way of an unresolved jam giveaway.

So I used a random number generator to determine that the winners of the Jam Samplers are neurondoc and nzforme!

Neurondoc, I already have your snail-mail, but nzforme, if you would please send an address to hotchicksdigsmartmen at comcast dot net, I'll make sure you get your just rewards.

Please note, winners, that I have very little jam on hand at the moment (spending too much time on statistics), so it will be several weeks until your packages are sent out. I want to include several types of jam, which means I have to actually, you know - make some. Hopefully it will be worth the wait.

Thanks to all who participated in the poll for my class!

I'M DONE. DO YOU HEAR? I'M DONE, DONE, DONE!

Saturday, March 13, 2010
I just turned in my final project for my thrice-damned statistics class, and I'm DONE. WELL-DONE, in fact.

In some ways, it was worse than I anticipated. I don't recommend learning statistics in an on-line forum, for example - the lack of interpersonal contact made this subject extremely difficult for me, in spite of my extensive experience as an on-line student. As a result, I ended up hiring a tutor who came to the Big Yellow House a couple times in order to straighten me out on a few things. It was worth the extra money, I believe, because he helped me solidify the concepts I'll need moving forward.

In other ways, it wasn't as bad as I'd convinced myself it would be. I am, in fact, fully capable of learning concepts associated with MATH, and even performing math (or statistics) related tasks in a manner that would earn me an "A." Go, me.

I won't be selling this particular book back to the book store, I don't think. Eventually I'm going to have to take Quantitative Reasoning, and I suspect I'll need to use it as a reference. The book also came with a Megastat plug-in for Excel, which I suspect will also come in handy for the Quantitative Reasoning course, so I may just eat the full cost and move on.

Next quarter's exciting offering is a course called Science, Technology and Markets. Here's the course description from the catalog:
Scientists within the various disciplines of the sciences - biology, chemistry, physics - pursue knowledge according to the interests, problems, and structures of previous knowledge within their field. They communicate with other scientists internationally, and their findings are reviewed and retested by peers. The discoveries they produce are often taken up and applied to various practical problems and opportunities in daily life. The focus of this course is on understanding how scientific discoveries are used as the basis for the development of technologies useful in manufacturing processes, healthcare, transportation, national defense, energy, and consumer products. Case studies will be used to understand how some technologies become successful in the marketplace while others, thought to have promise, do not become widely used. The case studies on technological applications of scientific discoveries also explore the processes involved in moving from science to technology to the market: financial and organizational structures used, potential conflicts over rights of ownership, and ethical issues that surface.
I'm hoping that the discussion in the course will be thought provoking and the case studies worthwhile and germane. So much depends on the professor, though, that we'll just have to wait and see.

And in the meantime, did I MENTION THAT WAS DONE WITH MY STATISTICS CLASS?

::runs away, laughing maniacally::

Why My Friends are Better Than Your Friends

Friday, March 12, 2010


For those of you who don't follow me on Twitter or Facebook, I have been having a truly craptacular week this week. I mean, SUCKY, SUCK, SUCK, SUCK.

So a certain friend sent me this cute little arrangement to cheer me up, along with a snarky little note about how elephants should CRUSH CRUSH CRUSH craptacular weeks like the smelly little bugs that they are.

Which is why my friends are better than your friends. Unless you have the same friends, of course.

Thanks, Michelle. As always, your thoughtfulness is appreciated.

Boogie Blogging Friday - SUNSHINE!



Boogie's enjoying the warm weather we've been having this week, especially since it's still comfortably crisp in the mornings when it's time for walkies, but he can soak up some sun in the afternoon. Now that he's an older dog, he will frequently lay down on the deck or the grass and bake his bones for a bit - something he never would have considered when he was a young and wild dog. Something might OCCUR, you see, and if he's laying down and relaxing, he would MISS IT. That simply won't do when you're young and the world is your oyster. When you're older, you just don't give a crap anymore when such things are compared with the enjoyment of baking your brain in the warm sunshine.

Because This is What I Need Today

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Even the coldest, most unreasonable human being wouldn't be able to look at this and not smile.

Thanks, Ethan.

You're Killing Me, Smalls

Wednesday, March 10, 2010
I know I promised a return to sunshine and puppies today. So here's a cute puppy named Sunshine:
Isn't she cute?  Aww. Now - on to why SOMEONE IS TRYING TO KILL ME.

When President Obama named former Senator Ken Salazar to the post of the Secretary of the Interior, our Democratic Governor appointed the former Superintendent of Denver Public Schools, a man named Michael Bennett, to fill his seat. So far Senator Bennett appears to be doing a fairly decent job, at least from my perspective, but he faces an election in the fall.

Of course, the Republicans are all frothing at the mouth in order to run against him. Personally, I don't really care who ends up with the nomination, because it's most unlikely I'd vote for a Republican in today's climate. But now I have to deal with political television ads. In March.

The front runner is a woman named Jane Norton, and she's already running attack ads here in Colorado to put herself forward as the candidate of choice for REAL CONSERVATIVES. Her ad includes details on how she defunded Planned Parenthood and is a real fiscal conservative, unlike EVERYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET.

According to the Smart Man, she's a regular guest on the morning AM talk radio program here in Denver, and she is dumber than a box of rocks. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Colorado's own Sarah Palin stupid.* I don't really care how dumb she is - I just don't want to start seeing political ads eight months before a frickin' mid-term election.

You're killing me, Smalls. YOU'RE FUCKING KILLING ME. Someone needs to break out the Shovel of Doom™ on this broad.


*Of course, she'll probably end up being my Senator, because my opinion of the federal government really isn't hellish enough at this point. I can't wait. Really.

Top Ten Things that Make Me Stabby

Tuesday, March 9, 2010
After Screechy Monkey Monday and a thoroughly shitty day at work yesterday, I've decided to just completely lose my mind and post my updated list of "Top Ten Things that Make Me Stabby." And by "stabby," I mean things that make me want to hit human beings in the face. With a shovel. Or a cleaver. It just depends on how far up the list they go and how much PMS I have that day.

10. People who talk in movie theaters. I don't hate this so much that I wish the perpetrators would die in a fire, but I don't think wishing a bad sunburn on them is too much to ask.

9. People who think their incompetence means you have some obligation to do their job for the good of the company/team/customer. This institutes a cycle of learned helplessness with no accountability and no exit strategy for the competent person. This one has slid down the list lately, as I've been less exposed to it lately. Everyone has gaps in their skill sets - everyone. The technology evolves so quickly, it's unavoidable. But everyone is also responsible for filling those gaps when they occur.

8. People who think the rules don't apply to them. Listen, you self-important twits - we live in a society that has a social contract. You are not exempt from the social contract, no matter how important you think you are. Get over yourself, and try to engage in some good manners, while you're at it.

7. Hypocrisy in public officials as it relates to their public duties. Don't try to get elected, for example, on your oh-so-fabulous "family values" and your close personal relationship with that fuckstick James Dobson and then turn around and cheat on your wife with some gay same-sex prostitute. Because I don't give a good goddamn about who you sleep with, but when you hold up your self-righteous morality as a selling point, you shouldn't be surprised when other people are gleeful when you fall off your high horse and bust your ass.

6. People who don't write thank you notes. Now I'm not really militant about this - an e:Mail does just fine to express your thanks if someone does you a kindness (although I tend to lean heavily toward hand-written snail-mail myself. I'm an old fashioned gal in that respect.). But if someone does something nice for you, show some damn class and thank them, you ungrateful git. Who raises these people, anyway? I forced both my kids to write thank you notes the whole time they were growing up. Now that they're adults, they're responsible for their own manners, of course, but I tried to teach them that recognizing other people's contributions to their happiness matters.

5. Sales people who make requests like, "Design me a call center for 1,000 agents." That's it. That's the whole request. Those of you who don't work in telephony may not know how ridiculous this is, but a comparable situation would be to request an architect "Build me a house." Yeah. I'll get right on that, Commander Detail.

4. Religious evangelists who come to my door and pretend like the "no soliciting" sign doesn't apply to them because they're not "selling" anything. Really? You're not "selling" anything? Fuck off, Mormon Boy. You are selling something, the payment just comes in the form of my own ideas and beliefs, and then deferred monetary payment to your church. You're not fooling anyone, least of all me.

3. People who are intellectually dishonest about their beliefs. You can take that however you want, but it really irks me when people willfully close their eyes to verifiable facts because they're too scared to deal with a challenge to their beliefs. Personal growth requires courage. Get some. 

2. People whose meetings go on. And on. And on. Like the Bataan Death March, but not as much fun. These folks have a serious case of "I'm talking and I can't shut up," and listening to themselves talk is their favorite hobby. The problem is that they want it to be everyone else's favorite hobby, too.

And the Number One Thing that Makes Me Stabby?

1. Making professional mistakes. I HATE THIS WITH THE HEAT OF A THOUSAND BURNING SUNS. I'd rather take a beating from the current UFC Champion than deal with the requirement of having to fall on my sword for something I've missed. I've always been a top performer in my profession, and making mistakes in my technical validation really just pisses me the Hell off. Even if the mistake isn't necessarily my fault, if I'm responsible I still reach for the cleaver when this happens. Which sucks, because it's really, really messy, and no one's available to clean it up.

Tomorrow I hope to return to your regularly scheduled puppies and sunshine. I've just had a bad couple of days.

Well, Shut My Mouth

Monday, March 8, 2010
I find I am pleasantly surprised at Senator Ashburn's honesty.

Good luck to him in his future endeavors, and I hope he finds a way to deal with his identity and his own feelings about it.

Screechy Monkey Monday

I'm feeling a bit like a screechy monkey today, so I've decided to dub the day "Screechy Monkey Monday," and hereby give the Internet permission to rant and rave to its heart's content. Yes, yes, I know that makes every day "Screechy Monkey Monday," just bear with me, would you?

I'm not feeling screechy for any particular reason, other than I really don't feel like working today. Mondays tend to be very meeting intensive at my company, and meetings that feature people who are talking and can't shut up are right up there on my top ten list of things that make me stabby.

So on to the screeching!

Screech-Fest the First - Suffer the Little Children

When it comes to gay rights, I'm a big believer in differentiating civil rights and trying to legislate the beliefs of churches and other religious institutions. Institutionalized bigotry is an ugly, ugly fact of life here on Planet Earth, and while I'm pretty vociferous about defending the civil rights of my gay brothers and sisters, I'm not down with trying to legislate churches to change their dogma to accommodate modern thinking. That pesky First Amendment goes both ways, and being a realist, I take the good with the bad. This doesn't prevent me from pointing and laughing at their hypocrisy and incredible hubris, of course, but I do admit their refusal to perform marriage ceremonies for gay couples is perfectly within their rights.

But what about the children of gay couples?

It seems that the lesbian parents of a child who was enrolled in the Sacred Heart of Jesus Preschool, a Catholic school in Boulder, CO, were recently informed that their child will not be permitted to attend the school next year. The reason? The child's parents are gay, and such activities are not condoned by the Catholic Church.

Here's the thing. I understand the Catholic Church wanting to keep their ranks PURE. They're fighting a rear-guard action against modernity (which they're losing, thankfully), and they see the demise of their way of life in the thousands of "Cafeteria Catholics" out there who love their faith, but not necessarily the church. But these fucknuts are being complete hypocrites about it. It doesn't appear the Archdiocese is expelling students who have parents who are divorced, or aren't Catholic, or use birth control. Only those whose parents are gay. Does that make the Archdiocese "Cafeteria Catholics" thereownselves? I sure think so, hypocritical bastards.

Tip o' the Mitre to Joe, my common law 2nd cousin-in-law twice removed. Shut up. Our family relationships are complex. 

Screech-Fest the Second - Lazy Bastards


I happen to think Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay is a supercilious bully with almost no redeeming value as human being. But maybe that's just me.

Or maybe not - recently Mr. DeLay, in an interview on CNN's Candy Crowley Sunday he decided to share his wisdom regarding the high unemployment rate in this country.
"In fact there are some studies that have been done that show people stay on unemployment compensation and they don't look for a job until two or three weeks before they know the benefits are going to run out, " he argued.  "People are unemployed because they want to be? " asked Crowley.  "Well, it is the truth. And people in the real world know it," said DeLay.

Really, Tom? Really? Which studies would those be? The studies funded by the top 1% of wage earners in the United States? The studies funded by businesses that dislike having to pay into unemployment insurance?

Evidently the "real world" DeLay refers to is the world of the independently wealthy, because over the course of the last ten years, I've known many, many people who have been placed into the ranks of the unemployed due to no fault of their own. Without exception, they all started looking for work immediately, in most cases even before their unemployment benefits began. Now my personal experience is not a statistical universe, and I don't want to make too much soup from that stone. But even granting that I may hang around with hardworking, ethical, quality individuals (true), I have a hard time believing they're the statistical outliers Mr. DeLay implies. Call me Pollyanna, but I actually believe most people in this country WANT to have a job, they WANT to support their families doing honorable work for a fair wage. Sometimes I think I'm fast turning into a cynical, crazy dog lady, but I have to ask - how cynical do you have to be to believe that Americans using unemployment benefits are lazy bastards just looking for a handout? Evidently as cynical as former House Majority Leader DeLay, that unethical, cheating, lying fuckstick, an incredibly unpatriotic American. 

Tip o' the Check to The Coffee Party Movement

Screech-Fest the Third - My Eyes, My Eyes!

It seems there is art all around us. Ordinary people try to include beauty in their daily lives, as evidenced by this snow sculpture created by the Gonzalez family of New Jersey:


I thought this was ingenious, and arguably could be considered "art" by any objective judge. But the prudes in their neighborhood decided the snow sculpture was "X-rated," and sent the police (the police!) to the home to ask them to cover up the sculpture's boobs. The Gonzalez family obviously has a sense of humor, because they decided to comply:


I think the "after" picture perfectly visualizes the stupidity of the complaint, and demonstrates that people are simply spending too much time worrying about the wrong things.

Wave of the bosom to SkepChick.

So that's my nod to Screechy Monkey Monday. I'm now going to retire from the Web for the day in favor of frolicking with the Boogie Dog, tickling local babies in order to hear them laugh, and burning an effigy of Tom DeLay.

2010 Flower Pr0n, Edition the First

Sunday, March 7, 2010
I suspect that my tulips are coming up way too early this year, and will subsequently freeze their little asses off during one of our inevitable Spring storms.

This saddens me, because I really like Tulips and I don't want the blossoms to die a cold, miserable death.

This also saddens me because the appearance of these leaves means I need to get off my ass and clean out the flower beds for the upcoming growing season. Since I'm fundamentally lazy, I am not looking forward to this endeavor. I need a gardener. And a house servant. And a pool boy.

One More Time!

Saturday, March 6, 2010
Updated 3/6/2010 5:45 p.m.: You guys RAWK. I have all the data points I need, so I'm closing the poll and putting this entry back in date order. Thanks so much for your assistance, and as soon as I actually get around to making some jam, I'll pick the random winners and post the results.

****************

I have one more statistics project to complete before I'm done with this infernal class, and once again, I need the help of my FABULOUS READERS.

This project relates to conducting a hypothesis test, and in order to gather a data set, I'm conducting another poll. This time I'm examining the educational level of the readers here at Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men. Please answer the poll as to what is the last year of formal education you've completed. If you're mid-year, please round up or down, depending on how much you've done. Additionally, the years as given assume full time student status, with the numeral "14," for example, indicating that you have either earned an Associate's degree or have completed your sophomore year of college. So people on the 30 year plan (like me) should use their academic credits to determine the academic year.

I'd greatly appreciate it if everyone would please participate so that I get a large enough sample for my project. Yes, lurkers and RSS feed readers, I am looking at you. IT WON'T KILL YOU THIS ONE TIME TO CLICK THROUGH AND PARTICIPATE IN THIS POLL.

Thanks, all. I'll be leaving this post at the top of the page for a bit to give the poll the best chance of gathering a representative sample. As an impetus to encourage people to vote, I will be giving away either a homemade jam sampler or a knitted hat and scarf set (winner's choice) to two randomly selected participants after the poll closes. If you want to be included in the "drawing" for that, please leave a comment on this post, send me an e:mail at hotchicksdigsmartmen at comcast dot net, or leave me a comment on Facebook on the blog link. I'm good for it - ask Wendy and Skatĉjo, winners of my last random statistics related drawing. Thanks, Hot Chicks and Smart Men!

'Tard of the Week - Sheriff Larry Deen

I swear I couldn't make this shit up. It really just writes itself.

This week's 'tard is the Sheriff of Bossier Parish in Louisiana, Larry Deen. He's VITALLY CONCERNED about the safety of his Parish should disaster strike. So he has undertaken to protect his Parish with the stupidest idea in the history of the world: The Operation Exodus Emergency Plan. From the news release:
Operation Exodus, will provide for self-sufficiency in the event of a manmade or natural disaster or a terrorist attack. Exodus will take local volunteers, train them and use them in response to a catastrophic disaster in the area. These volunteers will work in conjunction with the Bossier Sheriff’s Office to secure and protect viable resources in such an event.
The won't be working to secure and protect "unviable" resources, though.

According to Sheriff Deen, "homegrown terrorists are in our midst," and so he needs to arm and train his homegrown militia in order to make the good citizens of Bossier Parish feel safe.

According to Rachel Maddow's March 3rd report on the group, 195 of the 200 "volunteers" for this little group are white. White men, and if the video from their "training" is any indication, they're mostly old white men with potbellies, and their hand-to-hand training could take some tips from the kiddy class at the local Tai Kwan Do dojo. See the photo on the right? The U.S. Census indicates approximately 21% of the population Bossier Parish are black, but apparently they're not invited to this little (tea) party.

Here's the most unbelievable part of the story - TRMS and TPM reports that these redneck chuckleheads are being issued shotguns, riot shields, batons, and have a .50 caliber machine gun mounted onto a vehicle they refer to as "The War Wagon." Because nothing says "civil law enforcement" like a .50 caliber machine gun, a gun that was specifically designated as an anti-equipment weapon by the Geneva Convention before it became a "guideline" rather than an international treaty on the behavior of nations at war.

Where, exactly, does a podunk Sheriff's department get a .50 caliber machine gun? And how, exactly, does mounting such a weapon on a "War Wagon," (presumably Cousin Beauregard's 1985 Ford Pickup) constitute an appropriate law enforcement activity?

And while we're at it, I'm QUITE SURE that the 21% of the citizens of Bossier Parish who can't be categorized as "patriotic members of Operation Exodus," i.e., people of color, are going to feel MUCH, MUCH SAFER knowing that all these mullet haired yahoo's are ON THE JOB, YESSIREE, BOB.

What the fuck was Sheriff Deen thinking? Not only is he intentionally isolating the people of color in his community, he's setting up a situation in his Parish that has the potential, even the LIKELIHOOD of getting completely out of control. And when you throw a .50 caliber machine gun into that mix, no good will come of this. No good at all.

Fucking 'tard.

My Celebrity Boyfriend and My Favorite Webcomic

Friday, March 5, 2010
Come together in one GLORIOUS CONGLOMERATION OF COOL. I just know Phil is laughing his ass off. Zach, you crack me up. 

Boogie Blogging Friday - The Telepathic Message



Boogie the Giant Schnauzer has been kind of whiny and needy lately, and spending a lot of time getting as close to me as he can and staring at me in order to communicate some VITALLY IMPORTANT telepathic message. Clearly I'm a dense, insensitive human, because I'm just not getting it, in spite of his repeated attempts to keep me informed.

I am fearful that he's decided that in his old age, he needs to start emulating Jake, AKA "Demento Dog," I CANNOT HANDLE HAVING A 100 LB DEMENTO DOG LIVING IN MY HOUSE. Seriously, Boogie - we do not have a psychic connection, and you're treading on thin ice here. Don't make me call Schnauzer Rescue.

Conversations with Karma - Senator Roy Ashburn

Thursday, March 4, 2010
**Ring, Ring**

Unidentified Female: Senator Ashburn's office. How may I help you?

Karma:  Hello. I'd like to speak to Senator Ashburn, please. This is Karma.

UF: Karma who?

K: ::sigh::  No last name. Just Karma.

UF: I'll see if he'll take your call.

Senator Roy Ashburn: Hello? This is Senator Ashburn.

K: Senator! Hello! This is Karma, and I've come to call on you!

RA: I don't know any Karma, and I'm very busy today. What do you want?

K: You may not know me, but as with many "Family Values" Republicans, I know you. I'm the eastern idea that you will receive your punishment or reward for your deeds. You know...what comes around goes around, people get what they deserve.

RA: Whatever. Listen I have appointments all day with my strategy team. What do you want?

K: World peace?

RA: Everyone's a comedian. I'm hanging up, now.

K: Just kidding, just kidding. Although I am quite the humorist. I'm actually calling because I wanted to make sure you understood my latest undertaking on your behalf. What did you think?

RA: That was you? How dare you! My entire political career is on the skids!

K: Yeah. Funny how that works. Did you notice the irony? I thought it was FABULOUS how you, a notorious anti-gay legislator, not only got cited for DWI, but did so coming out of a GAY NIGHTCLUB with an UNIDENTIFIED MAN. ::wink, wink::

RA: ARGH!

K: Yeah, I owed the California gay community a little schaenfreude after that Proposition 8 debacle. They're having a FIELD DAY with this.

RA: ARGH!

K: You can stop saying that, now. I think it's fairly evident that now everyone knows you got caught with your pants down. Hehe. See - THAT was funny. Bazinga!

RA: This is NOT FUNNY. My entire political career is in jeopardy! 

K: Actually it is funny, in a wonderfully appropriate way. See, you dissed the gay community, essentially treating them as less than human, and now you're being seen as SECRETLY GAY. HAHAHAHA. In a STATE OWNED VEHICLE. I kill me.

RA: My life is ruined. You bastard.

K: Actually, I prefer the term "bitch," although I'm kind of asexual. And I'd like to point out that your life wouldn't be "ruined" if you hadn't been a huge, unmitigated, hateful hypocrite. Really, Roy - no one gives a good goddamn who you boink. It's the fact that you're so notorious for your anti-gay activism, followed by this incident, that reveals your true colors. 

RA: I don't have any "true colors" except for RED. I'm a REPUBLICAN. And I'm NOT GAY.

K: Whatever. You guys make this so frickin' easy, I feel like I should give back part of my salary. Well, I'm off to Washington, DC, to help the Democrats with their little Reconciliation project. The Republicans really pissed me off during the Bush administration, so I'm using the Health Care Reform process to take care that. Plus, it's just the RIGHT THING TO DO.

RA: I'M NOT GAY!

K: Whatever you have to tell yourself, dude.

::click::

Personality and Character

I have a friend who, a number of years ago, decided that she wanted to get married. She and her beloved began premarital counseling with the pastor that was to marry them, and after a few sessions, the pastor took her aside and expressed some concerns about her beloved's ability to maintain a meaningful, adult relationship. The pastor informed my friend that while her beloved might be long on personality, he was short on character, and it was character that made meaningful relationships work.

Well, it turned out that the pastor was correct, as her beloved turned out to be an unfaithful, bitchy little jerkwad. Thankfully, she found love again, with a great guy who treats her with respect. Go, her!

But the pastor's words have stuck with me over the years, and have given me much food for thought.

Here are my conclusions.
  • Personality is what makes people humorous, or exciting, or fun. 
  • Character is the undefinable human quality that forces people to do the right thing.  
  • Personality is what makes someone initially attractive. 
  • Character is what makes someone attractive for the long haul. 
  • Personality is what endears your new beloved to your partying friends. 
  • Character is what endears your new beloved to your family. 
  • Personality takes you on a fun-filled trip to the islands. 
  • Character takes you to the hospital for your chemotherapy. 
  • Personality is that ineffable quality that makes you tingle in those places. 
  • Character is that fully definable quality that makes you want to hold that person's hand when you're 80.
  • Personality and Character are not necessarily mutually exclusive, but the pearl of great price is the partner that has both. Younger women tend to fall for the personality part of the equation, willfully ignoring the character issue if it suits them. At least the women in my family. 
My only regret is that it took me so fucking long to come to these conclusions. It took me far longer than it should have to determine what having character actually means, and to apply those lessons to my own evolution as a human being, and to my relationships.

But I'm happy and grateful that now, in my 40's, I finally do get it. Go, me.

My New Same Sex Girlfriend

Wednesday, March 3, 2010
If I was ever going to pitch for the other team, Rachel Maddow would be first in line for entry into my celebrity seraglio. As it is, she's my new same-sex girlfriend, and this clip just made me smirk and snicker and tee hee. She's absolutely ruthless in pointing out the hypocrisy inherent in the Republican position on the reconciliation of the Health Care Bill. She's ruthless because she's right - the incredible hypocrisy demonstrated by the Republicans on this issue would be funny if it wasn't so blatant and nauseating. The Dems, of course, are equally as hypocritical in their own way, but really - the Republicans are seriously embarrassing themselves. 


Also, am I the only one who is saddened by what John McCain has become? Ever since he reversed himself on the torture issue, it seems like his principles have been leaking away in dribs and drabs, slowly eroding his character like a metastasizing cancer. A sad end to what had been an honorable career.

H/T to Chez.

Casserole Patrol

Tuesday, March 2, 2010
As many of you know, I have a dear friend who has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. Today she's being admitted to the hospital to undergo a radical mastectomy, and so my thoughts are naturally with her.

And because she has a lovely husband, two great step-kids (one of whom is a teen boy, with the normal teen boy appetite) and a darling one year old baby girl, my response to her news is to activate the Casserole Patrol and get to cooking.

Everyone reacts to illness in their own way. For me, that reaction is cooking. I spent Sunday baking banana and pumpkin breads for a gift basket we took over that evening. This week and weekend I'll be preparing and freezing hearty casseroles and soups for her and her family, and making arrangements to take them over. I did the same thing when my aunt was diagnosed with cancer last year, and you all e:mailed your fabulous recipes to me.

And after a conversation with the Smart Man the other day, I think I finally understand why. We were talking about how men react when their beloveds become seriously ill, and how in some ways, it's harder for men to accept these things than women. In the case of my friend, her attitude has been accepting, saying "why not me?" and looking at the whole experience as a mechanism for her to learn something she needs to know.* Her husband's reaction has been more along the lines of what I think I would feel - why her, how come she's sick now that they finally found each other, etc. The epiphany came when the Smart Man pointed out to me that men are people of action.** They live to "fix" things, and in the case of cancer, there isn't a damn thing you can do personally to fix what's wrong. That's what leads to the railing against the universe, and why a woman's attitude might be more accepting in this case.

I cook for people and their families when there's illness because I can. People have to eat, and even if my friend is yakking her guts out due to chemo or radiation, her family still has to eat. If my labors can make this time a bit easier for them, well, then that's the right thing for me to do. I know I can't cure her cancer, but I can nourish her family while she fights for her life.

Fight, my sister. Fight with all your considerable strength. We'll take care of the rest.



*Why, yes, she is an incredible, amazing, courageous human being, and I'm a far better person for having her example in my life.

**If you read that and thought, "Lies do not become us," as I did, you win the Internet today.

"America! Fuck, Yeah!"

Monday, March 1, 2010
I ask a lot of questions. I question our government on a fairly regular basis. As part of my liberal philosophy, I routinely wonder what the best course of action is for our government, for our citizens, for our world. I consider such questioning to be part of my patriotic duty - a responsibility to not take too much on authority. Sort of the "loyal opposition," if you will.

Not everyone feels that way, though.

I was recently taken to task in a round-about way by someone who evidently felt that my propensity to ask questions of and about our government's use of the Armed Forces was unpatriotic in some way. They implied that if the great and wonderful GWB had just "rolled over," then we'd all be "worshiping ALLAH" and that if such sentiments as "GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS AND GOD BLESS AMERICA STILL HOME OF THE FREE" offended me I could basically go fuck myself. Except he used a lot more capital letters and a lot more exclamation points, I guess because nothing says "literate and well-informed patriot" like excessive use of capital letters and exclamation points. My response to the chucklehead was basically, "after 17 years of service, I have earned the right to ask any question I want, so feel free to STFU, now" but that's not really how I feel. I just knew that for people who worship at the alter of "America! Fuck, Yeah!" patriotism, my military service is the final word, and I didn't want to argue about it on someone else's forum.

So here's the thing. Asking questions, and demanding answers, of a representative form of government is the act of a patriot. Allowing people in power to simply do as they wish without challenge, following blindly, is the not the act of a patriot, and in my opinion, compromises the effectiveness of our government and sets us up for the advent of various forms of authoritarianism. Regardless of where you fall on the political spectrum, questioning the status quo, and demanding accountability from government is a good thing and leads to a more transparent construct. And you don't have to "earn" the right to ask those questions and demand that accountability, in spite of the spanking I gave to the chucklehead. The simple fact that you're a citizen gives you all the authority you need to demand answers and accountability within the bounds of good sense and the law.*

I find "America! Fuck, yeah!" patriotism to be the point of view of the thoughtless. It implies that any action taken by the United States government is the correct action, simply because it was taken by the United States government. The alternate universe of Dick Chaney aside, I don't happen to think the torture of prisoners in the custody of our government is a correct action, no matter what Eric Holder finally determines. Doing the work of determining if my government is doing the right thing, and then acting on those findings, is my responsibility as a citizen. And because it's my responsibility, that makes me morally responsible for the actions of my government, at least in part. Pointing the finger at Clinton, or GWB and his insane clown posse, or at the current president and saying, "They did it. It's not my responsibility," doesn't wash, because the elephant in the room is why we, as a collective citizenry, let "them" get away with it.

Rabid nationalism does not lead to better forms of government, better societies, or better foreign relations. It simply gives manipulative, cynical people a huge handle to use in getting the population to go where they want. Yeah. Good luck with that.


*Yes, Birthers and Teabaggers, I am looking at you.