Adventures in Customer Service - Crown Plumbing

You know, I thought I was turning a corner on this whole "poor customer service" thing. The fabulous Abba Floors and Junz were restoring my faith, and I was prepared to go about the business of keeping my house in good repair with a smile on my face and song in my heart.

Yeah. Silly rabbit.

We have a plumber that we use - Crown Plumbing. We've used them several times over the last several years, and been satisfied with the results. In fact, I've spent over $1,300.00 with them just in the last month, thanks to the water heater giving up the ghost and a leaky toilet. So when I called them to come and look at the downstairs toilet, which is apparently running a marathon, I expected to have the issue resolved by today at the latest.

Yeah. Silly rabbit.

Do you think I could get them to actually CALL ME BACK? No. No, I couldn't. In fact, I called them a SECOND TIME and left a message expressing my disappointment with their lack of responsiveness. I explained that after spending so much money with Crown Plumbing in the last month, it kind of sucked that their behavior indicated a level of unresponsiveness that implied they really didn’t care much about establishing relationships with repeat customers.

They STILL didn't call me back.

It must be nice to have a business that's so all-fired successful that you can afford to blow off repeat customers when they call to engage your services and are willing to pay you for the same. I know a number of small business owners*, and none of them feel that way about their business.

I've written my normal consumer complaint letter, but considering they can't even be bothered to return a call for a revenue generating opportunity, I doubt they'll give a shit about a letter explaining why we'll no longer patronize their company. Instead I'll be giving my money to our Handyman Service, Incepector Handyman. Because not only do they do good work, they actually RETURN MY CALLS.

__________________
*One such business, The Underground Sprinkler Corps, has been maintaining our sprinkler system for the entire time we've lived here. In fact, the owner just left after replacing a defective sprinkler head. He and his family have always been professional, responsive, fair, and done good work. Which is why they get our business, year after year, in addition to my permission to dig up some of my yellow irises.

Attention, Tea Bagging Dipshits

Consider:

• Anthony Weiner's office receives threatening letter containing white powder.
• Bart Stupak receives threats after voting "yes" on HCR.
• FBI investigating cut gas line at home of Democratic representative's brother.
• Democratic offices vandalized in wake of historic HCR vote, threats continue to pour in.

Really, Tea Baggers? Really, GOP? This is your rational, considered response to losing this political battle?

You know, I remember how I felt when GWB was elected to his second term. I remember how furious I was, how personally I took it, that my fellow countrymen would vote such an unthoughtful man to the highest office in the land. I couldn't understand how people of good conscience couldn't see what a horrific mistake they were making in keeping that chucklehead and his puppet master(s) with their hands on the reins. It was simply UNFATHOMABLE to me.

But you know what? In spite of my anger and confusion, in spite of how utterly betrayed I felt by our system and my fellow Americans, it never once occurred to me that the correct response would be to physically threaten those whom I thought were responsible. I never thought that physically harming my neighbors, or my representatives, or participating in vandalism against Republican offices was the fabulous plan that would make the outcome more to my liking. Instead, I gritted my teeth, and tried to make sure the next election had a result more to my liking. And you know what? It did. Because that's the way things work here in the Good Ole U.S. of A. We have a self-correcting system that allows people of differing viewpoints to compromise and find solutions to our problems that certainly may not be perfect in everyone's eyes, but they're compromises we can live with.

What the Hell are you people thinking? Do you honestly think that threatening to secede, or threatening to engage in armed revolution, or threatening the safety of those representatives who didn't vote to your liking (or their FAMILIES) is actually going to get the HCR legislation repealed? I can tell you that my own reaction to your behavior is to think even less of your objections than I did before, and a thorough disgust with your tactics. You should be thoroughly embarrassed and ashamed. 

You all claim that YOU are the real Americans, that the rest of us just want to lead our great country into socialism, or communism, or Nazism, or whatever silly rhetoric your Fox News pundits are using these days. And yet, you're apparently unwilling to use the system you claim to love to effect the lasting change you claim to want, and instead engage in domestic terrorism as a way to get your way.

Who are the REAL AMERICANS in this scenario? Those who have worked within our legislative process to effect the change they believed in, or the childish, spoiled brats who lack the skills required to play with the big kids?

Go home, Tea Bagging Dipshits. Go home and cool off, then do what the big kids do. Put on your big boy underpants and do the work, within the law, to get the changes you want. It's how the system works, and you betray our country by attempting to circumvent it.

Thanks, Anyway

You know, Tea Baggers, I really didn't need further demonstrations that you're nothing but a rag-tag mob of easily led douchebag tools with no compassion or consideration for anyone but your own entitled selves, but thanks for the UNEQUIVOCAL PROOF OF WHO YOU REALLY ARE.



I just threw up in my mouth, posting this piece of shit to my on-line home, but I have to ask: Is this the kind of movement people really want to be associated with? Seriously?

Yeah. Good luck with that.

Haiti and that Fucknut Pat Robertson

First let me say that my heart goes out to the victims of Haiti's earthquake. If you'd like to donate to some decent charities providing services to those poor folks, there are links to the right that will take you directly to the donation pages of the American Red Cross and Doctors Without Borders. They're both class acts with a high percentage of donations going directly to program costs.

And now on to Pat Robertson, that embarrassment to Christians everywhere.

What an ass. What a presumptuious ass. Don't you just wish God would revert back to his old wrathful Old Testament self just long enough to strike this dickwad down in some spectacular fashion? Yeah. Me, too.

For a good analysis by a REAL Christian, check out my friend Vince's entry on the subject.

In the meantime, Pat Robertson - fuck off and die a horrible death, won't you?

Attack of the Ebola

I'm being attacked by the Ebola again today (even after unsuccessfully running away yesterday). In my absence, please read Richard Cohen's interesting opinion piece about the obvious comparisons between the unlamented Senator Joe McCarthy and that blithering idiot Sarah Palin.

The most salient point for me? Wondering where the hell the Republicans are, and why they aren't disavowing this insipid woman as she essentially alienates every intellectually honest voter in the country.

Attention gutless Republicans: UR DOING IT RONG. Grow a fucking backbone, won't you? Or don't - I'm sure the Dems would love to have control of the White House and the legislative branch for the next 20 years.

What the Hell Were You Thinking? - Texas State Rep. Betty Brown

During a discussion on voter registration legislation in the State House of Texas, Representative Betty Brown made the following statement:

"Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese — I understand it’s a rather difficult language — do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here?”

I swear I'm not making that up. This woman actually got elected to public office? Really? Damn, Texans. Your representative seems a bit...oblivious.


H/T to Hot Blogger Kimby.

From the "Selling Out to The Man" Files - Bruce Springsteen

Seriously, Bruce? Wal-Mart? You made an exclusive deal with Wal-Mart for your greatest hits release?

Because aggrandizing the corporation known for its non-living wage, lack of benefits, horrible treatment of minority employees and driving small businesses out of town on a rail so perfectly aligns with your "working man" persona and values?

Shame, Bruce. Shame.

What the Hell Were You Thinking? - Federal Board of Immigration Appeals

It seems that the U.S. Attorney General has spanked the Federal Immigration Court for a recent decision they made to deport a Mali woman who was the victim of genital mutilation.

The woman in question was seeking asylum because if she was returned to her tribe, she would be forced into an arranged marriage, and was concerned that any female children she had would also be forced to undergo "female circumcision" or genital mutilation.

The court decided to deport her because she had already been the victim of genital mutilation, so why not send her back? The damage was done, it's no concern of ours, (fingers in ears) lalalala! I can't hear you!

Well. Isn't that the most ignorant thing I've heard today.

Really, Board of Immigration Appeals? Really? Since the threat of genital mutilation is reasonable grounds for asylum, you would think these fuckwits would have made at least some small effort to discover the actual process by which women are mutilated. This investigation would have led to the amazing discovery that genital mutilation is not a one-time event for women in these communities. It's done again and again, usually to "fix" what "breaks" after sex and childbirth.

Thankfully, AG Mukasey stepped in and will force the Appeals Board to reconsider the decision. Hopefully, the bad publicity will force a new decision, and this woman (and her offspring) will be able to lead mutilation-free lives.

What the Hell were you thinking, Board of Immigration Appeals?


H/T to Random Michelle and her hypertension inducing sibling.

Michael Savage, Asshole

A direct quote from Michael Savage, Asshole: "Liberalism is in essence the HIV virus, and it weakens the defense cells of a nation. What are the defense cells of a nation? Well, the church, they've attacked particularly the Catholic Church for 30 straight years. The police, attacked for the last 50 straight years by the ACLU viruses. And the military, attacked for the last 50 years by the Barbara Boxer viruses on our planet."

Really, Michael Savage? Really? Could you be a bigger fucking hypocrite? I'm a liberal. By your own standards I'm "mentally ill" because I believe the first Amendment should be applied to all religious institutions, including the Christian majority; I believe the police should be accountable for their professional actions, good and bad; I believe the Armed Forces should only be used as a last resort when diplomacy fails, and should also be the best trained, best equipped, best paid Armed Forces in the world.

My credibility for these positions? I'm the daughter of a law enforcement professional. I'm a civic volunteer. I'm a 17 year veteran of the Armed Forces. I'm a contributing member of society. I'm a blogger who, when I talk out of my ass, admits that's the case.

Based on your bio, you're not any of these things. You're a shock-jock with no understanding of service. You're a guy who wasted his education by writing a book on the wonders of Homeopathy. Seriously? Homeopathy? This is your stunning contribution to human knowledge? How very fitting.

::snort::

Could This Guy Be a BIgger Dick?

Check out this video, then come back.

You done?

I think the answer to this question, is, no. No, he couldn't. Not even making a concerted effort would have made this fuckknuckle a bigger dick. In fact, he is officially the biggest dick on the planet today. And not in a manly, good way, either.

Hey, Rick Suhr: You are a gigantic penis-head. With no class. And crappy coaching skills. And not a shred of human kindness. You suck.

And if I ever meet you in person, I'll tell you what "I'm gonna' do." I'm gonna rip off your 'nads and throw them over the bar. After I set them on fire, of course. Perhaps that act will be awesome enough to impress you.

Seriously, dude. You suck.

Letting Go, Part Deux

I just returned from the Notary Public, where I had my signature verified on a speeding ticket received during a certain road trip.

Ahem.

I think that's all I'll say about that, other than to comment that I will be paying 0% of the fine and insurance increase.

These People Make My Feet Swell

What the hell is wrong with the military junta in Myanmar/Burma*?

They've now decided to allow aid workers into the Irrawaddy Delta, but they still refuse to allow UK, US and French Navy vessels to dock with relief supplies.

The U.S. Navy did outstanding work in providing relief during the Tsunami, working around the clock to provide whatever services were required. I can only assume the Brits and the French have similar experience in these matters.

Do these dictators in funny hats think there's some secret plot to "land the Marines" by these three nations and take over their sorry, sorry country? Bitch, please. They're only trying to help relieve the suffering and allow the victims some hope of eating in the next year by providing seeds and such.

Oh, that's right. The Junta clearly don't give a rat's ass if their people suffer, starve or die of some other preventable cause as long as their own power base goes uncontested.

I've written before that China Sucks, but their response to their own natural disaster has been pretty admirable compared to these amoral fucksticks.

As an Aunt of mine says, some folks just need killing.


*And what the hell's the deal with the name of this place? I know the Junta changed the name to "Myanmar" in an effort to head off "Burmese" nationalism, but the press routinely refers to it as "Burma." Huh?

When Hillbillies Attack, Part I

As you all may know, Hot Sister and frequent commenter Cindi in CO lives in a small, rural community. She and her Smart Man live on the edge of town, in a Fuck-You-Blue house with lots of flowers and my two feline nephews, Tommy and Scorch.

They also used to own the house across the street, which they sold over a year ago. It was a very old house, a converted chicken coop, and they lived there for many years. When my kids were small, they used to love going to visit their Aunt and Uncle "in the country." They would drive the tractor, hike in the local canyon, and help in the garden. Once they even helped their Uncle tear a building down. This is huge fun when you're 7 or 8.

Well, they sold that house to a neighbor family over a year ago. We'll call the neighbors "Bubba and Brittney."

God, what a mistake.

Bubba and Brittney are hillbillies. They have 4 kids of their own, several foster kids, and Brittney is pregnant again. She also runs an in-home daycare, and all of these children run around terrorizing the neighborhood and making the place look like a home for wayward, dirty, snot-smeared children. The backyard is fenced with chain-link (and not in a straight line), and with all the playground equipment back there, all those kids look like hamsters in a cage. There's also talk of the kids eating pages out of books for their roughage requirements, but that's probably just viscous rumor. Probably.

Well, once they purchased the property, the first thing Bubba and Brittney did was collapse the house into the basement, then set the entire kit and caboodle on fire.

Yes, I said fire.

And it smoldered for weeks until a heavy snow put it out.

Did I mention this property is in town? It is.

Good Grief.

But wait, there's more!

Since collapsing the house, there's been a huge hole in the middle of the lot where the house used to be. Well, you can't have that. Bubba and Britney's Chihuahua might fall in and wouldn't be able to get out! So they proceeded to fill the hole with garbage and garden detritus, essentially creating a huge, mulchy trash pit. Because, really, that's what everyone should do - purchase the lot next to theirs and use it as a personal dump. So convenient. So eco-friendly. So classy.

Once the pit started to fill up, Balls and Brainy...er, Bubba and Brittney, decided it was time to do something about the accumulation. Since fire worked so well the last time, they decided to go down that road once again.

Only this time, they decided to use a little accelerant. Gasoline, in fact. Five gallons of it.

And since the lot is sunken down from street level, and the foundation is even deeper than that, the fumes from the gasoline accumulated before they decided to light the match.

You Hot Chicks and Smart Men are an educated bunch. Can you guess what happened next? That's right - an explosion. The fireball was well above the roofs of the surrounding houses, shook the ground to the point where small objects fell off their perches, and windows of nearby homes were glowing orange from the conflagration.

Nearby homes like the one owned by my Hot Sister and Smart Brother-in-Law.

When Cindi approached Brittney about the incident, she claimed she had all the permits for a fire in town, and had cleared it with City Hall.

Is that right? Really?

Why do people lie about things that are so easily checked? Especially in a small community?

It seemed strange that the city would allow a permit for such an asinine endeavor, so my Hot Sister went to City Hall to chew some ass. Big Surprise! There was no permit issued.

When the local law enforcement representative appeared to discuss the matter with Bubba and Brittney, Brittney told him that the city clerk gave her verbal permission to light the fire, and waived the fee.

Right.

Because why wouldn't a city employee, who has one of the best jobs in the county, risk her employment and face liability to allow a couple of asshats to light a huge fire in city limits using gasoline as an accelerant? That sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

Bubba and Brittney have been cited for "open burning without a permit within city limits," and are currently cleaning up the property. They're also crying and whining about how they just wanted to burn a little trash, why was everyone so upset?

Evidently, Bubba's father, Bubba, Senior, was the brains behind this project. Of course he thinks that punching your wife in the eye when she tries to divorce your dumb ass is also acceptable behavior, so there you go.

The worst part? The fire also destroyed the tree my kids had helped select and plant on the lot, that they considered "their" tree.

When hillbillies attack, nobody wins.


Tip o' the John Deere cap to Cindi in CO for the source material

Your Friday Giggle

This description of what the Bad Astronomer calls the Grand Unified Conspiracy Theory will either make you laugh out loud or melt your brain. Please note that I have warned you - if your brain does indeed melt, HCDSM will not be liable.

The bright side: Freeze Dried Whack-a-Loons are not limited to the religious right of the U.S. Doesn't that make you feel better?

What the Hell Were you Thinking, Michael J. Wagner

Walter Reed Medical Center is one of the largest U.S. military hospitals in the world. As soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen return from the combat zone, many pass through Walter Reed, and most need help. Lots of help.

For the past three years, that help was supposed to come from the office of Michael J. Wagner. His job was to match donors who wanted to help vets with wounded service members who needed help feeding their kids, paying their mortgages, or reconciling families.

But instead of dedicating himself to this worthwhile endeavor, for which he was paid, instead he (allegedly) was soliciting donations for his own Texas based charity, Military, Veteran and Family Assistance Foundation. Walter Reed has launched a criminal investigation in what appears to be a clear conflict of interest.

Allegations include callous treatment of veterans and their family members by Dr. Wagner, micromanagement of cases on the one hand and distraction by his own project on the other.

Of course, Dr. Wagner denies any wrongdoing. He left the Medical Family Assistance Center recently to become a director of the Military, Veteran and Family Assistance Foundation.

If this is true, I have to ask, Dr. Wagner, what the hell were you thinking?

He claims to have done "more than his best" while working at the MFAC, but reports from his clients and subordinates indicate that is clearly not the case.

And you want to know the worst part? Dr. Wagner's full title:

Michael J. Wagner, Ph.D, Colonel (Retired), USAR.

That's right. A retired soldier.

DOD - What the Hell Were You Thinking?

Since World War II, the Army has had a policy governing the service of sole surviving siblings and children of soldiers killed in combat. The policy is meant to protect the rights of service people who have lost family members to war. Not a bad plan, and I'm sure that families who have lost multiple members to war appreciate the courtesy.

Leave it to the Department of Defense to screw it up.

Army Specialist Jason Hubbard of Fresno, California was forced to leave the combat zone after his two brothers died in the Iraq war.

However, upon his return home, the military cut off his family's health care, stopped his G.I. educational subsidies and wanted him to repay his sign-up bonus. Because, clearly, allowing siblings to retain their benefits when their siblings are killed in action will only encourage all those lazy freeloaders to take advantage of the government by having more siblings killed in action. Or something. Or maybe the surviving siblings are supposed to use the dead siblings' death benefits for their education and health care.

Dumbasses.

Thankfully, Spc. Hubbard's Representative, Devin Nunes, stepped in on his behalf so that he was allowed to keep his benefits, and is now introducing a bill that will protect basic benefits for all soldiers who are discharged under this policy.

What the hell is the DOD thinking?


H/T to Mom in Northern

What the Hell are my Neighbors Thinking?

My Smart Man and my Smart Boy both get up pretty early on a normal day. They both have to commute to work and school, and they both start early.

I do not. Since my morning routine consists of me putting on my work-out clothes, feeding the dog, and going to the basement to my desk, I get up about 15 minutes before I boot up my laptop and get to work. The result is that I end up sleeping about 1 1/2 hours more in the morning than my men.

I usually don't have any trouble getting back to sleep after my Smart Man gets up. He's very quiet, and I'm used to it.

Today, however, right after he got up, our neighbor's dog started barking. And barking, And barking.

At 5:30 a.m.

As you can imagine, this did not please me. I laid there, my teeth clenching harder and harder, as this dog barked and barked. Just as I was starting to fantasize about ringing the dog's house's doorbell incessantly at 2:00 a.m. one night, the dog stopped.

What the hell are my neighbors thinking? How can anyone possibly think that allowing their dog to bark incessantly at 5:30 in the morning in a housing development is just a really fabulous idea? If that's what you want, shouldn't you be living in the west end of nowhere, where your nasty neighborly habits won't bother anyone else?

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. In the years that we've lived here, more and more renters have moved in, and it seems like those who rent aren't very good neighbors compared to those who own their homes. No skin in the game, I suspect.

Boogie the Giant Schnauzer likes the sound of his own voice, too, which is why he's not allowed free access to the yard. We let him in and out every time, so that if he starts barking his fool head off, we can bring him in.

I think instead of ringing the barking dog's doorbell incessantly at 2:00 a.m., I should try and convince my Smart Man to play his electric guitar outside their house, with the amplifier pointed directly towards their bedroom window. See how they'd like a little Sunshine of Your Love at 2:00 a.m..

From the "What the Hell Were You Thinking?" Files - John Mayer

Oh, John Mayer. I love your music. I have all your CD's. I've seen you in concert at the lovely Red Rocks Amphitheatre, and watched you rock the house on the Crossroads Guitar Festival DVD's. You're a gifted song writer, an accomplished guitarist, and an acceptable singer.

I got over your inexplicable attraction to that vacuous twit Jessica Simpson. I looked the other way when you attended the Miley Cyrus "Hannah Montana" concert in Las Vegas.

But now I have this image burned into my retina:

A Mankini? What the hell were you thinking?