Saving those who cannot save themselves

My favorite picture of Moe, cosplaying Belle from Beauty and the Beast

As most of my readers know, I lost my daughter to suicide in 2013. It's been nine long years since we lost her, and I'm as sorrowful today as I was the day she died. 

Moe died of uncontrolled mental illness. She experienced severe depression, and was under a doctor's care for her condition. But we lost her anyway, leaving a Moe-shaped hole in my heart that nothing is able to fill.

Every day I mourn her loss in this world, and I would give everything to have her here with us again. But I can't have that, so instead I choose to perform service projects in her memory such as being a good ally to the LGBTQ+ community, and donating money to institutions she cared about, like our local library foundation.

And I also support  AFSP's mission in helping people who are at risk overcome their lack of hope and help those who have been affected by suicide.

This is the sixth year I've been up to participating in this event personally, but this will be the ninth year the Maureen's Marchers team is hitting the road in my baby girl's name on the annual Out of the Darkness Denver Metro Walk. The money raised in this event will go to fighting suicide and supporting AFSP's goal to reduce the suicide rate 20% by 2025.

The danger of suicide is especially high within the LGBTQ+ community. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the second leading cause of death among youth aged 15 to 24 and the third leading cause of death among youth aged 10 to 14. Among youth who identify as sexual minorities, the likelihood of death by suicide has been estimated to be two to seven times greater than the likelihood of death by suicide among heterosexual youth. These kids need help, and it's up to us to provide it in any way we can.

Please help us honor our lost, beloved Moe-Moe and consider donating to the AFSP by clicking the "Donate" button on this page. All donations are 100% tax deductible and benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), funding research, education, advocacy, and support for those affected by suicide. The AFSP is a Charity Navigator 4 star charity, and they spend 83.1% of their total budget on program expenses.

"When you are sorrowful look again at your own heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." ~ Khalil Gibron

DONATE

On the 8th anniversary of your death

 Today is the 8th anniversary of your death. In some ways, it feels like I've been bearing this burden of grief forever - it's part of my life, and carrying it is my "normal," whatever the hell that means. 

But in other ways, it feels like I learned the news of your death just yesterday, and my grief is still a raw, blistering thing that lays upon my heart like an anvil. 

I'm doing better this year than last, since last year was simply unbearable for a variety of reasons. But it always hurts, and will continue to hurt, for the rest of my life. As the analogy goes, grief comes in waves. Sometimes I can catch it and ride it to shore, and other times it wipes me out, leaving me tumbling through the sea like a piece of flotsam during a storm. 

Regardless of whether it's a terrible year or a bearable year, I will always, always love you, each and every day of my life. I will always, always honor your life and work to make the world a better place in your name. I love you, baby girl. 

________

July 31, 2013 was the worst day of my life. It was the worst day of my life because that was the day the Police Department came to our home to tell us our precious daughter Moe had died of suicide at the age of 22. 

Moe died of uncontrolled mental illness. She experienced severe depression, and was under a doctor's care for her condition. But we lost her anyway, leaving a Moe-shaped hole in my heart that nothing will ever be able to fill. 

Every day I mourn her loss in this world, and I would give everything to have her here with us again. But I can't do that, so instead I choose to perform service projects in her memory such as being a good ally to the LGBTQ+ community, and donating money to institutions she cared about, like our local library foundation. 

And I also support AFSP's mission in helping people who are at risk overcome their lack of hope and help those who have been affected by suicide. 

This is the fifth year I've been up to participating in this event personally, but this will be the eighth year the Maureen's Marchers team is hitting the road in my baby girl's name on the annual Out of the Darkness Denver Metro Walk. The money raised in this event will go to fighting suicide and supporting AFSP's goal to reduce the suicide rate 20% by 2025. This goal is especially challenging in our current situation, where people are still feeling isolated, anxious and uncertain of what the future will bring. 

The danger of suicide is especially high within the LGBTQ+ community. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the second leading cause of death among youth aged 15 to 24 and the third leading cause of death among youth aged 10 to 14. Among youth who identify as sexual minorities, the likelihood of death by suicide has been estimated to be two to seven times greater than the likelihood of death by suicide among heterosexual youth. These kids need help, and it's up to us to provide it in any way we can. 

Please help us honor our lost, beloved Moe-Moe and consider donating to the AFSP. All donations are 100% tax deductible and benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), funding research, education, advocacy, and support for those affected by suicide. The AFSP is a Charity Navigator 4 star charity, and they spend 83.1% of their total budget on program expenses. 

"When you are sorrowful look again at your own heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." ~ Khalil Gibron

Thank you for your support!

Belief

I gained 3.8 pounds over the holiday based on my weekly averages, which is how I measure such things. I expect they'll come off pretty quickly (like this week), and then the hardest work begins: Losing the last 20 pounds. I believe I can do both these things in the 14 week timeframe I have set for myself. 

________

I believe President-Elect Biden will be inaugurated to the office of President on January 20th regardless of what tRump and RetRumplicans want or do. I also believe this is absolutely the correct and legal course of action, because the accusations of RetRumplicans have absolutely no merit. They have presented no legally admissible evidence to any court of law (including SCOTUS) which proves their assertions of voter fraud in any state. Their strategy has been to follow the tactic of "If you say it often enough, it becomes true, regardless of the facts." And that strategy is working, and has been working for the last four decades, which makes me fear for the long-term future of the Republic. 

________

I believe I will no longer engage in conversation or commentary, or invest emotional or intellectual labor regarding the Conspiracy Theory de Jour, regardless of who brought it up, what their political opinions are, who they support, or the motivation behind the bull-pucky. Bring me provable facts, or get thee gone is the new mantra. I have to thank my pal Juan for this one. Sensible advice at any time. 

________

I believe Mitch McConnell is the single greatest threat to the Republic since the Civil War. Thanks, Kentucky!

________

I believe the key to my mental health in 2021 is being honest with myself and others about gratitude, mindfulness, and letting things go. Then I must make emotional and intellectual decisions based on this honesty. I think I can more easily make gratitude a habit compared to the other two, but I have some work to do in all three focus areas. For me, the hardest part is achieving "forgiveness" along with "letting go." I'm afraid that's going to take a while. 

________

I believe tRump's blatant attempt to fix the election in Georgia is a clear violation of the law. I also believe he won't experience any consequences for his criminal behavior, because at this point in our Republic's history, NO ONE is held accountable if they have enough power and/or money. NO ONE. It's all just political theater to appease the base rather than a true application of the law and justice. 

________

I believe I need to continue to invest in my health after I achieve my goal weight, including an appropriate maintenance diet and regular exercise. 

________

I will be taking the COVID vaccine one it becomes available to low risk individuals, because I believe in the power of science and the results of vaccines in saving populations from deadly disease (see: Polio, Small Pox, et al). 

________

I believe I am deeply afraid for the law enforcement officers who will be trying to keep the peace on Wednesday in our nation's capital. It's going to be a long and dangerous day for these folks, and unlike the violent whackadoos who choose to be there, these professionals have no choice. Stay safe, y'all. Seriously.

________

I believe I have never admired our judicial branch of government more. Throughout these election shenanigans, they have, without exception, upheld the law as they understand it with integrity and courage regardless of who appointed them. The judicial is our last line of defense, and their integrity has, in many ways, saved the Republic. 

________

I believe 2021 will be a year where I spend more time and money on charitable acts/agencies. Charitable giving has always been a part of our budget, but this year I want to get more personally involved, for a variety of reasons ranging from mental health to a way of paying rent on the bit of earth I occupy. 

Maureen's Marchers, Walking the Good Walk

Had the pandemic not occurred, today would have been the day our American Foundation for Suicide Prevention fundraising team, Maureen's Marchers, would have been at Coors Field for this annual event. But 2020 had other plans since it was evidently sent by Cthulhu to test American mettle. 

Yet, I still try to follow Mr. Rogers' advice, and look for the helpers. And nowhere are the helpers more evident than when our fundraising team seeks donations for suicide prevention. 

For the second year in a row, I am the number one fundraiser for the Denver Metro Walk (this year called an "Experience") on the day of the walk, and Maureen's Marchers is the the number one fundraising team by respectable margins. 

This year has been especially difficult since so many folks are out of work and have little to spare. Which makes the donations we did receive that much more meaningful. 

Thank you to ALL our donors, especially the anonymous donors who we are not able to thank directly. Your willingness to continue to support this cause means the world to us, as we try to turn this unimaginable tragedy into something worthwhile. Love to you all. 

______

The donation pages will be active for a couple of months following the event, so if you choose to donate even after today, you can do so here. 

This is some shameful shit

 

Prior to her death, our daughter Moe had a large circle of friends. People she knew from her various fandoms, from school, from the LGBTQ+ community. And three very special women she always referred to as "The Girls." 

She first got to know them because one of them was her father's girlfriend's daughter, and she always referred to Sarah as her sister. The other two, Be and Terra, were friends with Sarah. These girls have always had a special place in our hearts because of how much Moe-Moe loved them, and we've kept in touch over the years. 

Here comes the shameful shit. 

Now Terra requires surgery for a diagnosed medical condition and - surprise, surprise - her insurance won't pay for it. So she's trying to raise the money on her own, through sales of her art and other endeavors, and she's also created a GoFundMe page so folks can contribute to her surgery fund.* Of course we contributed, because as the Smart Man notes, "Anytime any of those girls or Linda need anything, the answer is always going to be yes." 

But how fucked up is it that a fully functional adult, who pays her own bills and helps support other family members, has to ask for money on GoFundMe to pay for a medically necessary procedure? Our medical system is nothing but a gouging, for profit, fucked up construct that cares not for patients, but only for the bottom line. Honestly, this makes me absolutely apoplectic with rage. To allow this level of corruption in what should be a guaranteed human right says so much about America's national character, and none of it is good. At all. So say we all. 

In any event, if anyone has a few extra bucks, I'd appreciate it if you'd give Terra and her family a hand. They're artists, and while they make ends meet with their Atomic Pixies business, there's nothing extra for emergencies or large expenses. 

Thanks, y'all. May the force be with you, and your life be filled with love and light. 

*She named the URL "Big Racks Break Backs," which should tell you all you need to know about her sense of humor. 

Helping Others to Help Themselves

The memorial plaque at our local library

July 31, 2013 was the worst day of my life. It was the worst day of my life because that was the day the Police Department came to our home to tell us that our precious daughter Moe had died of suicide at the age of 22.

Moe died of uncontrolled mental illness. She experienced severe depression, and was under a doctor's care for her condition. But we lost her anyway, leaving a Moe-shaped hole in my heart that nothing is able to fill.

Every day I mourn her loss in this world, and I would give everything to have her here with us again. But I can't do that, so instead I choose to perform service projects in her memory such as being a good ally to the LGBTQ+ community, and donating money to institutions she cared about, like our local library foundation.

And I also support AFSP's mission in helping people who are at risk overcome their lack of hope and help those who have been affected by suicide.

This is the fourth year I've been up to participating in this event personally, but this will be the seventh year the Maureen's Marchers team is hitting the road in my baby girl's name on the annual Out of the Darkness Denver Metro Experience. The money raised in this event will go to fighting suicide and supporting AFSP's goal to reduce the suicide rate 20% by 2025. This goal is especially challenging in our current situation, where people are feeling isolated, anxious and uncertain of what the future will bring.

The danger of suicide is especially high within the LGBTQ+ community. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the second leading cause of death among youth aged 15 to 24 and the third leading cause of death among youth aged 10 to 14. Among youth who identify as sexual minorities, the likelihood of death by suicide has been estimated to be two to seven times greater than the likelihood of death by suicide among heterosexual youth. These kids need help, and it's up to us to provide it in any way we can.

Please help us honor our lost, beloved Moe-Moe and consider donating to the AFSP. All donations are 100% tax deductible and benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), funding research, education, advocacy, and support for those affected by suicide. The AFSP is a Charity Navigator 4 star charity, and they spend 83.6% of their total budget on program expenses.

You can donate to the AFSP by clicking on the donation badge on the right, or you can go directly to my fundraising page. This year I'm offering incentives for donations at the $50, $100, $200, and $500 range, including hand-knitted items in the colors of your choice to keep you warm this winter. 

"When you are sorrowful look again at your own heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." ~ Khalil Gibron

Thank you for your support!

Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse

Beware the flying vector

He's coming for you.

Every time I write about coronavirus, in my head I hear COVID-19, but my fingers type CORVID-19. I know I'm not the only one who does this, and I find it pretty amusing. Clearly my affinity for crows is getting the better of my subconscious mind.

What is wrong with people? 

I just don't get people. Why are they hoarding paper products and stocking up on ammo? This isn't Doomsday Preppers. It's an epidemic that can be managed if we pay respectful attention to facts, follow the advice of those who have expertise in this area, and don't act like a bunch of selfish knobs. Speaking of selfish knobs, while all these hoarders were buying up all the TP in the store, did they remember to pick up a few things for their neighbors who are at higher risk of dying if they contract COVID-19, or are they just lining the shelves of their basement? I think we all know the answer. If we can all manage to be cautious and decent to one another, this entire thing will end sooner rather than later, with no one needing to lead armed raids to steal their neighbors' toilet paper.

Speaking of cautious

There's an excellent article in the Washington Post today that includes simulations about how fast the virus spreads, why quarantines don't work, and how social isolation is the best way to combat the spread of the epidemic. The bottom line is this: If you're not someone who provides or is in the supply chain of critical services to the population such as food, water, power, healthcare, or emergency services, stay home. It won't kill us to cook our meals at home for the duration, use available technology to stay in touch with loved ones, and telecommute if our employers have the infrastructure to support it. Everyone has to go out for supplies periodically, but other than that, don't go places where you might infect or get infected by other people. Is it a huge bummer, especially during Spring break? Yes. Yes, it is. We've already cancelled two trips as a result of the epidemic, and the rest of our Spring/Summer travel plans don't look too good, either. But my desire to lounge at a resort or visit a National Park doesn't matter one bit when the health and safety of everyone is at stake. Again, don't be a selfish knob.

Charity begins at home

Speaking of cooking our meals at home, there are now thousands of people all over the country who are unemployed for the duration. I'm speaking, of course, of those who work in the food service or hospitality industries in states where those establishments have been closed by order of their state or federal authorities. Many of these folks are living under the poverty line anyway, and being out of work for some period of time is going to be devastating. The Smart Son is in this position, and while the Smart Man and I are prepared to help him if necessary, not everyone has the safety net of well-off parents. We'll be donating the money we're saving from not eating out (which we tend to do a lot) to a local food bank or other charities who provide help to this demographic for the duration. It's the least we can do, given our own circumstances and how little we'll be affected by the epidemic. Please - join us if you're able.

This is not about politics

You all know I'm a big ole flaming liberal, but here's the thing - this epidemic, and our response to this epidemic, is not about politics. It's about everyone doing their best to ensure the risk to our entire population is reduced as much as possible. That absolutely starts with our elected leaders who have to make the tough decisions about how we, as a people, respond to this crisis. But I am not going to ignore recommendations from the federal government because our current President is a vapid piece of shit. Nor do I expect my conservative neighbors to ignore recommendations from our Governor because he's gay and liberal. I am going to take it on faith that everyone involved has the best interest of the American people at heart, and not use the crisis as a means to tear down (or build up) politicians. There will plenty of time for a post-mortem once the danger is passed.

Walking the Walk

It's that time of year. Time for the annual Out of the Darkness Walk to benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, and once again, me and my family will be walking to raise money in our daughter's name.
________

Moe-Moe with our niece

July 31, 2013 was the worst day of my life. It was the worst day of my life because that was the day the Police Department came to our home to tell us that our precious daughter Moe had died of suicide at the age of 22.

Moe died of uncontrolled mental illness. She experienced severe depression, and was under a doctor's care for her condition. But we lost her anyway, leaving a Moe-shaped hole in my heart that nothing is able to fill.

Every day I mourn her loss in this world, and I would give everything to have her here with us again. But I can't do that, so instead I choose to perform service projects in her memory such as being a good ally to the LGBTQ+ community, and donating money to institutions she cared about, like our local library foundation.

And I also support  AFSP's mission in helping people who are at risk overcome their lack of hope and help those who have been affected by suicide.

This is the third year I've been up to participating in this event personally, but this will be the seventh year the Maureen's Marchers team is hitting the road in my baby girl's name on the annual Out of the Darkness Denver Metro Walk. The money raised in this event will go to fighting suicide and supporting AFSP's goal to reduce the suicide rate 20% by 2025.

The danger of suicide is especially high within the LGBTQ+ community. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the second leading cause of death among youth aged 15 to 24 and the third leading cause of death among youth aged 10 to 14. Among youth who identify as sexual minorities, the likelihood of death by suicide has been estimated to be two to seven times greater than the likelihood of death by suicide among heterosexual youth. These kids need help, and it's up to us to provide it in any way we can.

Please help us honor our lost, beloved Moe-Moe and consider donating to the AFSP by clicking this "Donate" link. All donations are 100% tax deductible and benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), funding research, education, advocacy, and support for those affected by suicide. The AFSP is a Charity Navigator 3 star charity, and they spend 83.7% of their total budget on program expenses.

"When you are sorrowful look again at your own heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." ~ Khalil Gibron

Thank you for your support!

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

The Eighth Annual Maureen "AJ" Ramey Memorial Summer Reading Program is over, and the winners have been selected via a Random Number Generator.

The total number of entries reached 235 this year, which means me and the Smart Man will be donating $500 to the Douglas County Library Foundation. This will allow us to continue to have the naming rights to the Parker Library "Maureen 'AJ' Ramey Memorial Garden."

The winners this year are Stacey, who read Shadow Ops: Breach Zone, by Myke Cole, and The Mechanicky Gal, who read In the Shadow of Lakecrest, by Elizabeth Blackwell. 

Congratulations winners! Your prizes are in the (e)mail!

Last Chance to Log Books for the Summer Reading Program

I'm a big slacker and forgot to close comments on the Summer Reading Program yesterday morning. So I'll take pity and leave them open until tomorrow morning for your last minute entries.

Get your books entered TODAY for a chance to WIN!

Honoring the Fallen, Helping the Living

Please Join Me in Supporting the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

July 31, 2013 was the worst day of my life. It was the worse day of my life because that was the day the Police Department came to our home to tell us that our precious daughter Moe had died of suicide at the age of 22.

Moe died of uncontrolled mental illness. She experienced severe depression, and was under a doctor's care for her condition. But we lost her anyway, leaving a Moe-shaped hole in my heart that nothing is able to fill.

Every day I mourn her loss in this world, and I would give everything to have her here with us again. But I can't do that, so instead I choose to perform service projects in her memory such as serving on our local Library Foundation Board, since Moe was an avid reader and used our library extensively.

And I also support AFSP's mission in helping people who are at risk overcome their lack of hope and help those who have been affected by suicide.

This is the second year I've been up to participating in this event personally, but this will be the sixth year the Maureen's Marchers team is hitting the road in my baby girl's name on the annual Out of the Darkness Denver Metro Walk. The money raised in this event will go to fighting suicide and supporting AFSP's goal to reduce the suicide rate 20% by 2025.

Please help us honor our lost, beloved Moe-Moe and consider donating to the AFSP by clicking the "Donate" button on this page or on the sidebar. All donations are 100% tax deductible and benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), funding research, education, advocacy, and support for those affected by suicide. The AFSP is a Charity Navigator 3 star charity, and they spend 83.4% of their total budget on program expenses.

"When you are sorrowful look again at your own heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." ~ Khalil Gibron

As always, thank you for your support.

Saying farewell to a labor of love

I will complete 4.5 years of service to the local library as a trustee on June 30th.

I started serving on this board less than six months after Moe died. I was desperate to find a service opportunity that linked me to Moe, and service to the library seemed to fit the bill. She loved her local libraries, and used them extensively. I know she would have approved of my work, and it made it a labor of love for me, and a way to honor her memory.

However, last night, I formally resigned from the Board effective June 30th. I have a lot of feelings about this decision, and the fact that I've tied my service to the library in with my daughter's legacy and my own grief makes those feelings very confusing. 

It broke my heart to resign from this work. I love our libraries, and helping to make them among the best libraries in the country and relevant for years to come was meaningful, satisfying work. The vast majority of my Board colleagues over the years have been dedicated, intelligent, focused, and always kept the best interests of the library as their guiding principle.

But life is about conflicting priorities, and sometimes we have to choose between what we love and what we're empowered to do, if only for our own sake and our own conscience. 

I am grateful - so grateful - to have had an opportunity to serve our Library District in this way. It helped me find my center in that first, awful year after Moe died. It allowed me to contribute to my community in a way I found meaningful. It allowed me to meet some fine, decent, like-minded people, who I will continue to call "friend." And it gave me the experience I'll need to continue to serve my community in other ways.

Perhaps what touches me the most is the fact that the Library leadership team, the Library Foundation Chair, and half the Library board nominated me for Colorado Association of Libraries Outstanding Trustee Award without my knowledge. It doesn't matter to me if I win. The respect of people I respect is award enough for me, as well as the acknowledgement by good, hardworking people that I did good work, and served authentically when given the chance.

Eighth Annual Maureen "AJ" Ramey Memorial Summer Reading Program Kick-Off

Today's the day! Today I'm kicking off the Eight Annual Maureen "AJ" Ramey Memorial Summer Reading Program, benefiting the Douglas County Library Foundation.* 

You can find all the deets here, and that's also where you'll log your books for the contest. I'm closing comments on this entry to avoid confusion, since book entries should be logged on the contest page (available at the link above titled "2018 Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men Read!").

Get to reading, y'all, because you know you want to force The Smart Man and I to donate even MORE money to libraries and literacy.

READ! READ! READ!

_____________
 
*Full Disclosure: I am the President of the Douglas County Library Board of Trustees, but this project has nothing to do with my duties there, and is a private endeavor on my part.

Suicide Prevention Week

The number for the suicide prevention hotline is 1-800-273-TALK (8255). There are people who care about you. You matter in this world. You won't always feel this way, and there is help available to lead you out of the darkness.

This week is National Suicide Prevention Week here in the United States. As most of you know, this is a cause that is extremely personal for me. When we lost our daughter Moe to mental illness and suicide, it changed our world entirely, leaving deep wounds that will probably never heal.

So as we continue to live with our grief, we work to help fund programs that support people who are considering suicide and suicide survivors. The organization we've chosen is the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

On September 23rd, the Maureen's Marchers team will hit the bricks in their annual "Out of the Darkness Walk," raising money for AFSP programing and grants, in honor of our baby girl, and the light that the world lost in her passing.

If you feel so inclined, the fund raiser may be accessed via the badge below, or the banner on the right sidebar. No family should have to go through what we did, and no parent should have to bury their child for a treatable disease. Thanks for any support you can offer.

The Seventh Annual Maureen "AJ" Ramey Memorial Summer Reading Program Winners

Thanks to everyone who participated in the Seventh Annual Maureen "AJ" Ramey Memorial Summer Reading Program, brought to you by Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men!

This year we had 300 entries into the contest, so the Douglas County Libraries Foundation will receive a $500.00 donation from me and the Smart Man to continue to secure the naming rights on the garden at the Parker Library.

On to the WINNERS!

I used a Random Number Generator to determine the winning numbers:

223: Kathy Hewett, who read The Viscount and the Witch, by Michael J. Sullivan

and

277: The Mechanicky Gal, who read Curtsies and Conspiracies, by Gail Carriger

Please contact me with the e:mail address you want me to use for your Amazon Gift Card.

Congratulations to the winners, and we'll see you again next year!

Keeping love alive

Today is the fourth anniversary of the death of my baby girl, Maureen.

It's been a strange four years. My grief journey has ranged from being unbearable to being grateful for my tribe. It's gone from nearly catatonic with grief to maintaining a stable, healthy life. It's gone from raging against the reality of the world to accepting - albeit with sadness - the new normal that is life-without-Moe. I still cry at triggering events, and I suspect I always will. But my life is stable now, by the grace of my people and my grief work.

One of the things I've learned about this journey is that while I will never look at my daughter's death as anything but tragic, I still have the opportunity to use her loss as an impetus to make the world a better place. For me, that means doing work that supports the things she cared about. It means donating money to causes she was passionate about. It means mentoring other young women as they move into adulthood and helping them discover the person they want to be. This work helps me keep the love and gratitude alive on my bad days, when I miss her more than usual, or I find I want to share something with her and then realize I cannot.

And this year, for the first time, it means I will participate in activism to support Suicide Prevention.I haven't felt up to it until now, and there's still a possibility that I may fall apart during the event. But I want to try, so I'll be participating and fundraising for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention's Out of the Darkness Denver Metro Walk.

This will be the fifth year the Maureen's Marchers team is hitting the road in my baby girl's name on the annual Out of the Darkness Denver Metro Walk. The money raised in this event will go to fighting suicide and supporting AFSP's goal to reduce the suicide rate 20% by 2025.

I can't bring my Moe-Moe back, but I can do what I can to ensure other families never have to walk this grief journey, and experience the devastation that is losing a child to suicide.

If you're a local, please feel free to join our team and come walk with us on September 23rd at Coors Field in honor of our baby girl.

If you wish to donate to the cause, my fundraising page may be found by clicking the icon below. This icon is also pinned to the right sidebar.

Every year on this date I reflect on how very cursed I am to have lost a child, and how very blessed I am to have my people around me when I need them most. Thank you for your support and love on this journey, and for supporting the work of an organization whose mission is to save the lives of people like Moe.

The 7th Annual Maureen "AJ" Ramey Memorial Summer Reading Program

It's that time of year! Time for the Seventh Annual Maureen "AJ" Ramey Memorial Summer Reading Program, brought to you by Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men! 
Each year, Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men sponsors a summer reading program in honor of my beloved late daughter Moe. The one consistent thing in my daughter's life was her undying affection for the written word. So we'll read in her memory, and raise a book to honor her devotion to reading.
Moe came by her love honestly, as our family LOVES reading. We read on our Kindles, on our iPads, on the Internet, and occasionally using a paper book. Some of us listen to Audiobooks whenever it's not practical to read words in a row. Reading and books are a deep seated cultural norm for us. 
So once again, I'm sponsoring this reading program to benefit the Douglas County Library through the Douglas County Library Foundation,* in Moe-Moe's name. The proceeds from this program go to purchase the naming rights on the Parker Library's Maureen "A.J." Ramey Memorial Garden, which was dedicated last summer.  

 
Here's da rules:

1. The contest will run from May 29th (Memorial Day) to September 4th (Labor Day).
2. When you finish a new book, post a comment on the 2017 Hot Chicks and Smart Men Read contest page with the title and author of the book. One comment, one book, and PLEASE ensure you post your reading THERE and not HERE. If you post them here, they won't count.
3. Audiobooks count. eBooks count. ANY book counts, with the exception of picture books. If you are reading a chapter book to a youngster, by all means, enter it, but picture books juke the stats.
4. For each book that is read and registered in the comments by me and my readers, I will donate $1 to the Douglas County Library Foundation, with a guaranteed donation of $500.00. This money is earmarked by the Foundation to secure the naming rights to the garden at the brand new Parker Library. 
5. In years past, people have asked if they can help fund the naming rights for the new Parker Library Garden. I can't tell you how happy it makes me that people want to contribute, but the Smart Man and I have already fully funded this endeavor. It's something we wanted to do for ourselves, and we're happy to earmark that money in our charity budget in perpetuity. 
6.  However, if you want to help us remember our Moe and do something fabulous for a cause she cared about, please sign up for a "matching donation" for the contest. Simply pick a local library in your community that is under-served or strapped for cash, and then commit to making a donation in whatever amount you wish in Moe's name after the contest ends. Then send me a note, letting me know the dollar amount and the Library you've chosen to support, and I'll post it below. For each dollar you commit to donate, I'll add another random number to your name for the prize drawing.
7. When the contest ends, I will use a random number generator to find THE WINNERS. THE WINNERS will each get a $25.00 gift certificate to Amazon. Each unique comment (one comment, one book) will be an entry for the gift certificate, so the more you read, the better chance you have to win. Please note that if you commit to donating to your OWN local library, you increase your chances of winning! Note: I sucked at getting the prizes out to the winners last year. I promise I'll do better this time.
8. If the number of comments exceeds 500, the additional monies will be donated to an underserved or needy Library outside Douglas County, since our own library is neither underserved or needy.

READ! READ! READ!

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*Full Disclosure: I am the President of the Douglas County Library Board of Trustees, but this project has nothing to do with my duties there, and is a private endeavor on my part.

Ravenclaws, Unite!

Do you love the Harry Potter stories? Do you love to read, and want to share reading with underserved children who may not otherwise have an opportunity to develop a love of reading?

Then this fundraiser is for you!

The Harry Potter Alliance, a charitable organization dedicated to encourage Harry Potter fans to be active in advocacy, is holding their Annual "Accio Books!" fundraiser in support of the Friends of the Apparating Library initiative. The purpose of the fundraiser is to provide books to underserved youngsters:

For millions of children across the world, basic access to books and literacy programs is hardly a given. The Harry Potter Alliance is engaged in a permanent campaign to balance the scales. Our ultimate goal is to raise 1 million books for schools, community centers, and literacy programs across the world. We also endeavor to build 25 permanent libraries in places that need them. Last year, we had our most successful Accio Books yet, with over 100,000 books raised for 50 literacy programs across the world and a new library established at a new school in Masaka, Uganda!

This year, we are partnering with Words Alive, an organization that provides literacy and education services to over 5,000 children and families in Southern California. HPA chapters and members will raise thousands of books for Words Alive, allowing the organization to provide quality books to students of all ages for many years to come. Many chapters outside the western United States will choose to donate books to schools and programs in their local communities. Overall, we expect to match last year’s incredible effort, with dozens of communities across the world transformed by the generosity of our members.

As you all know, libraries are a passion of mine, and while I love to work with and donate to my local Library District, my County is hardly underserved in this regard. So it's a good thing to support communities who may not have as many resources to share in encouraging a love of reading.

Reading is fundamental, y'all, and lifelong readers reap the following rewards:

1. Reduces stress
2. Improves conversations
3. It may push back the effects of Alzheimer's disease
4. Increases imagination
5. Sharpens senses
6. Improves sleep quality
7. Boosts analytical thinking
8. Grows brain cells
9. Improves empathy
10. Increases success in life

But kids can't enjoy these benefits unless they have access to books and are encouraged to read. 
Are you a Ravenclaw (like me)? A Gryffindor? A Hufflepuff? A Slytherin? Support the cause by donating to your House Team, and get a chance at neat prizes!

Maureen's Marchers - A Labor of Love

July 31, 2013 was the worst day of our lives. On that day, the Parker Police Department came to our home to tell us that our daughter Moe had taken her own life the night before.

The following year is basically a blur to me, hazy with the overwhelming intensity of my sadness and grief. I don't remember much about it, other than wishing my new reality away and waking each morning with a heaviness in my heart that I knew would never go away.

And I remember one other thing. The incredible way in which our family and friends lifted us up with love, provided a light at the end of the most horrifying tunnel in the world, and provided a solid point of emotional stability in a world that was dark and heavy on even the best of days. I am forever grateful to those who cared for us in that time, and they, along with the Smart Man, saved my sanity that year.

Two of the friends who made such a huge difference in our lives during that time are Sister Stacey and Brother J.R.. Sister Stacey was the first one on the scene (in spite of living over 1,500 miles away), and her compassionate, level-headed presence eased the most horrifying days of my life. The following year, they came to our home to help us recognize Christmas, and establish new traditions and remembrance. We were very good friends before Moe died, but now they're family, in every sense of that word.

And once again this year they're participating in the Annual "Out of the Darkness Walk," benefiting the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, Westchester County, in our daughter's name. 

This is the third year they're walking in this event, and every year they choose to continue in my baby's honor makes me so very grateful that they're my brother and sister in this life and that they see fit to include us in their own family. 

So once again, I will ask my friends, family, and readers to consider a donation to the AFSP's important work in preventing suicide in my Moe-Moe's name. This tragedy can occur in any family, regardless of race, creed, orientation, or economic status, and I want so very much for no other parent to have to go through this most awful of circumstances.

You can pledge your donations at their Maureen's Marchers Fundraising Page. Thank you, Sister Stacey and Brother J.R.. Your continued support means more than you know.

WINNER, WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER!

Well, not really a chicken dinner. But we do have winners!

The Sixth Annual Maureen "AJ" Ramey Memorial Summer Reading Program brought to you by Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men is over, and here are the stats:

• Number of books read: 286
• Amount donated to the Douglas County Library Foundation to purchase the naming rights on the new Maureen "A.J." Ramey Memorial Garden at the new Parker, CO library (pictures forthcoming): $500.00
• Amount donated to other under-served libraries: $425.00

That's almost $1,000 to support local libraries across the country, and I'm going to call that a BIG FAT WIN. Go, us!

I used the following methodology to pick the WINNERS:

• Numbers 1-286: Page entries
• Numbers 287-336: Sister Stacey and Brother J.R., in recognition of their donation to the Brooklyn Library.
• Numbers 337-386: Sister Kathy and her darling husband Tim, in recognition of their donation to the Royce City Library.
• Numbers 387-436: The Mighty Nicole, in recognition of her donation to the Royce City Library.
• Numbers 437-511: Moe's Hot Grandma Jud, in recognition of her donation to the Wellington Public Library.
• Numbers 512-561: NeuronDoc, Neurologist to the UCF, in recognition of her donation to the District of Columbia Public Library.
• Numbers 562-661: Mistress Tania, in recognition of her donation to the The Imagination Library of Fairbanks.
• Numbers 662-711: John in memory of his beloved Alysia.

Then I used a random number generator to pick the WINNERS:

• Number 424, The Mighty Nicole
• Number 165, Mom in Northern, who read The Beach House by Jane Green
• Number 513, NeuronDoc, Neurologist to the UCF
• Number 76, Mechanicky Gal, who read English Tea Murder by Leslie Meier

Winners, please let me know which prize you desire - an Amazon Gift Card, or an assortment of Janiece's Homemade Jam. If you want the gift card, please provide the e:mail address where you want it sent. If you want the jam, please provide the address where you want it sent and let me know if there are any food allergies I should be aware of. 

Thanks to everyone who participated, And we'll see you next year!