Fucking Squirrels

I like to feed the birds, but I usually don't because the squirrels congregate on the ground around the bird feeder to snatch up the scraps. This infuriates Boogie, who doesn't want those fucking squirrels on his grass.

So I usually skip it.

However, when I was the store the other week, I found some birdseed that advertised itself as "no waste." Hey, I thought. Maybe the birds can eat this without attracting every squirrel from miles around by flinging their shells and such all over the ground!

Yeah, right. That's what'll happen. Fucking optimist.

Fucking squirrels.

Things that Make Janiece Happy, Volume I

I'm shamelessly stealing this from Random Michelle, who wisely points out that dwelling on negative things does not make you a happy camper. So today, we'll dwell on the positive.

Professional Happiness:

1. When I complete a large, complex project, and I know I've done a good job, it makes me happy to hit the "send" button on my deliverables.

2. When I design a large, distributed architecture, and I'm allowed to design the system as I see fit, the elegance of my solution makes me happy.

3. Teaching makes me happy. The fact that I only have to do it a few days a month means my happiness isn't diluted with minutiae.

4. I occasionally have the pleasure of working with some really, really skilled engineers. Watching people who are at the top of their field work gives me a feeling of warm pleasure.

5. The fact that I make enough money to meet my financial goals makes me happy. Money doesn't buy happiness, but it gives you the freedom to pursue it.

Personal Happiness

1. When one of my children makes a good decision or accomplishes a goal, I'm filled with pride, and I'm happy that I've had them.

2. Doing for others makes me happy, whether that's knitting cold weather accessories for adopt-a-family, supporting Fisher House, or working on a Super-Secret Project for the UCF.

3. I love my friends and family. Their presence enriches my life, and I'm a better person for having known them.

4. My Boogie-Dog makes me happy, every day. Like many dogs, he's a pure soul.

5. My Smart Man makes me happy. He keeps me laughing, even when things go wrong. He's patient when the Mad Cow strikes. He helps me keep my life balanced. He encourages me to (occasionally) put myself first.

I'm just happy that I'm happy, actually.

Things That Irk Janiece, Volume 2

I need to add something to my list as a result of an exchange I witnessed this morning.

Today I dropped off poor Boogie-Dog for his splint change at his vet's office, where there's a big ole sign at the counter that says "Please turn off your cell phone." I was discussing Boogie's care with Wendy, the office manager (and the doctor's wife - it's a family practice), when the woman waiting behind me's cell phone rang.

She, of course, answered, and then proceeded to chat in a loud voice to whomever had called her. Wendy couldn't hear me, so she asked this woman to take her conversation outside. She had to ask her twice.

Judging by this woman's reaction, you'd have thought Wendy suggested she engage in public lewdness. She huffed out, telling her caller, "I have to go outside, because this woman is distracted by my talking on my phone." Wendy just looked at me, shook her head, and said, "I am SO OVER people trying to talk on their phones when others are trying to have LIVE CONVERSATIONS."

Once off the phone, the woman proceeded to complain loudly that her appointment was at 9:20 a.m., and why was she still in the lobby? This was at 9:25 a.m. She was apparently also blind to the sign that said emergencies were handled before appointments, and evidently also missed the tearful, frantic man who came in with his (obviously) hurt kitty. Perhaps because she was too busy talking on her damn cell phone and complaining about Wendy.

Wendy was a lot more polite than I would of been. I'm pretty sure my own reaction would have included commentary to the effect that the whole fucking world doesn't revolve around you, bitch, so shut the fuck up before I shove a rectal thermometer up your...cell phone.

How come people are so oblivious?

I hope that man's kitty is all right...

-------------------

Updated 7/30/2008 2:00 PM.

The kitty will live, but will be hospitalized for a while.

'Tard of the Week - Ted Stevens

You have to love it when the Republicans' "Family Values" become "Family Values."

It appears Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens has been indicted on seven counts of failing to disclose thousands of dollars in services he received from a company that helped renovate and maintain his home.

I guess being a founding father of Alaska and being the longest currently serving Republican Senator wasn't a sufficient legacy.

'Tard.

Blogging Demographics

I apparently have a regular reader in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe, which is kind of cool. Hopefully my African lurker isn't experiencing too much hardship as a result of the unrest and economic turmoil brought on by that ASSHAT Robert Mugabe.

Stay strong, whoever you are.

Things That Irk Janiece, Volume 1

I stole this from Kate, who was evidently having a really bad day. So while I'm spreading the love, make sure you circle back to Kate and tell her it's all her fault. Because we don't believe in personal responsibility around here, no sirree.

Professional Irks:

1. If you are a sales person and I have done engineering work for you, sending me seven e:mails in one morning asking for various clarifications and changes to your design will not ensure you make it to the top of my "to do" list in record time. In fact, I'm much more likely to move you to the bottom, because you're apparently incapable of putting together one, coherent message after you have reviewed my work product completely. Incoherent asshats get moved to the bottom of the "to do" list. On a rotating basis, if they're bitchy. And you are.

2. I have duty 3 to 6 hours a week. This consists of me answering technical support questions on our company's products via phone and e:mail. When I am assigned duty, taking those calls and answering those e:mails are my primary responsibility. Taking calls and e:mails from sales people who don't review my deliverables and then ask questions that have already been answered...in the deliverables...are not high on my list of things to do. Learn how to read, dickwad, and then do me the courtesy of actually reading what I prepare at your request.

3. If you want me to leave my comfortable Virtual Office to teach a class on our applications to a bunch of no-skill fucknuts, don't try and pull the old "bait and switch." It you tell me you need me to teach for three half-days, and I say "yes," and then you come back with a schedule that requires teaching for three full days, do not be surprised when I smack you in the face with a shovel.

4. There are people in this world that are smarter than you. Do not expect them to "dumb down" for you, so that you don't look like a complete 'tard compared to them. It's your job to raise yourself to their level - it's not their job to lower themselves to yours. We all need something to aspire to.

5. Dressing like a big Ho at a professional event is inappropriate. You can make selections for your professional wardrobe that are attractive without looking like you're taking your fashion tips from Bai Ling. And if you want to dress like a big Ho during your personal time, no one's stopping you.

Personal Irks:

1. I have a "no soliciting" sign on my front door. Unless you live in my neighborhood and are under the age of 12, you are not exempt. If you ring my door bell anyway, do not be surprised if I am rude to you. And yes, coming to tell me the "Good News" is still soliciting. Self-righteous bastard.

2. Thinking you are special because you have a lot (or no) money, because your parents are rich (or poor), or because of any other characteristic you had no control over is offensive. You are not entitled because you blessed the world with your presence by being born. You may be special for other reasons, reasons that directly reflect on your own effort and character, but really, get over yourself. Seriously.

3. Attention politicians: You're not fooling anyone with your transparent ploys to get into office. Save the money you would have spent on political ads and hire some really smart people to figure out how to fix some of the problems around here. Because I'm blowing right by your ads (DVR, I love you), and if anything, it makes me less inclined to vote for your sorry ass.

4. Men, don't dye your hair. It's almost as unattractive as a toupee. Yes, yes, I realize that makes me a big, fat hypocrite. I'm okay with that. I just don't think a man who spends as much time on their personal grooming as I do is all that attractive. Sue me.

5. Between us, my Smart Man and I have most of the technical skills we need to maintain our own electronics. Part of this is due to skills learned on the job, but more is due to personal interest. The fact that we know 802.11 networking and PC's does not mean you get to use us as your personal tech support line. We help our family members because we want to, but acquaintances need to call Geek Squad and pay up. Or crack the books. Unless you're willing to come clean our house or mow our lawn while we work on your network and PC's. Then we'll consider it.

That is all.

In Which a Gimpy Boogie Decides Rolling in the Grass Will Cheer Him Up

Boogie the Giant Schnauzer is not enjoying his forced inactivity. He cries when we don't go for a walk in the morning, he cries when I leave him behind the baby gate in the basement when I go upstairs for more coffee, and he cries when I don't let him chase the squirrels in the backyard.

This is going to be a long 4 weeks. For both of us.

However, this afternoon he decided that what would cheer him up was a good roll in the grass under a warm sun. He feels a bit better now.

Autumn Quarter

Registration for the autumn quarter opens on Monday, and I'm trying to decide what to take. Since I took a class this quarter that I have no interest in, but is required for my degree program, this time I get to pick a class I want to take.

I've checked availability, and here are the ones that sound interesting: Cross-Cultural Communication; Values Around the World; Nations, Cultures and Peoples; International Public Policy; and Quantitative Reasoning.

There's a bunch more that I want to take, but that's what's on the menu for this quarter.

I'm open to suggestions!

Happy Birthday, NASA

Today in 1958, President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed the legislation that created NASA.

Happy Birthday, NASA. You guys are the epitome of Nerd Love, even at 50.

Letting Go, Part Deux

I just returned from the Notary Public, where I had my signature verified on a speeding ticket received during a certain road trip.

Ahem.

I think that's all I'll say about that, other than to comment that I will be paying 0% of the fine and insurance increase.

Get Off My Lawn, You Damn Bankers!

I've been following the Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac debacle, as I'm sure a lot of folks have.


I think what pisses me the hell off the most about this is the complete and utter lack of accountability on the part of the asshats who decide to take such huge risks within their publicly traded company. These fucktards are pulling in exorbitant salaries for their efforts, and when the business does well, like during the housing boom, they make even more. But when their bad decision making results in the business basically going to its knees, then guess what? They still pull in exorbitant salaries, and their failure comes home to roost on my lawn in the form of a tax-payer bailout.


While I think a reasonable case can be made to support a tax-payer bailout in this case, I want to know - if I "invest" my tax dollars in these publicly traded companies, then what return on investment should I expect? As a shareholder, do I have the right to help set executive compensation? Once their nuts are out of the fire, will they repay this "loan" to the public coffers? At what rate of interest?


And by the way, will there be future governance of these types of businesses? From where I sit, if you're going to sit there with your hand out if your business model collapses, you also get to submit to some level of government control of your business after you manage to run it into the ground.


I despise the "heads, executives win, tails, taxpayers lose" business model. How come all the accountability and consequence seems to skip the top tier of wage-earners and settle on the middle and lower class? I have a friend who owns a small business, and there's no doubt in her mind what would happen to her business and livelihood if she managed her business in the manner of these fuckknuckles. You can bet the government wouldn't bail her out, but her mortgage company would be quick to repossess her house if she failed to make the payments.

So I'm vacillating between being a curmudgeon ("Get off my lawn, you damn bankers!") and being a 7 year old ("This is so unfair!"). Either way, I suspect we'll be footing the bill, and there'll be no accountability. Damn unfair bankers.

Poor, Poor Boogie

Well, we ended up taking Boogie the Giant Schnauzer to the Animal Hospital yesterday, as I felt a strange crunching sound when I palpated one of his toes.

Yep, Boogie-Dog's got a broken toe.

The good news is that it's his outside toe, so it's non-weight bearing. The bad news is that he's a large, active dog, and the splinting process doesn't always work on pups like him.

He'll be splinted for the next 4-6 weeks, during which time he needs to stay off of it and avoid stairs.

Right now he's drugged up on pain killers, so the "staying quiet" part is pretty easy. I suspect that long about week 3, things will not be as easy.

The alternative is to have a pin inserted in the break or to amputate the toe.

Poor Boogie. He'll never learn that chasing the rabbits never ends up with him getting the better end of the deal.

Insurance Company Rules

This made me LAUGH MY ASS OFF. I am so using throwing stars the next time I'm about to lose a game...

Poor Boogie

Boogie the Giant Schnauzer is gimpy today. One of his rear legs isn't working too well, and he's limping pretty heavily.

We've examined the leg several times, and can't really tell if there's a specific place that smarts, but occasionally when he places weight on it, it makes a soft popping sound.

Hmm.

We'll keep an eye on him over the weekend, and have him looked at on Monday if he's still gimpy.

Poor Boogie. He's not as young as he used to be, but he still acts like he has the stamina and resilience of a pup. Too bad his body doesn't agree with him.

Letting Go

The Smart Boy is spending the weekend with my Hot Sister and Smart Brother-in-Law this weekend.

They live about 200 miles from here - about a three hour drive.

The Smart Boy has never taken a "road trip" by himself, so of course my mom-sense was tingling, and he was under orders to call as soon as he arrived.

And of course, he was just fine, and arrived safely in a reasonable period of time.

Letting go is hard. And necessary.

We're Doomed

Let's get something straight. Whether or not John Edwards is having an extra-marital affair or has a love child with Rielle Hunter is a matter of utmost disinterest to me. He's currently a private citizen, and really, I COULD NOT CARE LESS about who people sleep with.

So how come a story broken by the National Enquirer, the FUCKING NATIONAL ENQUIRER, is the talk of the blogosphere?

Hellooo! Is there a journalist in the house?

Boogie Blogging Friday

Boogie's tired today, so he's moving from nap spot to nap spot. Here you see him soaking up some sun.

Because sometimes a warm sun spot feels good on a belly.

Who Cares? Magazine, Volume 2, Issue 28

Brit's mom is hiding a secret tragedy! In 1975, she was involved in an accident where a 12 year old boy was killed! And she was driving! Will the guilt send her over the edge? Who Cares!

Hero Rats

You know, I'm not a big fan of rats. Ever since Willard came out, I've pretty much thought they were nasty, nasty parasites who needed killing.

Then I saw this.

Go rats. Go land mine removal.

'Tard of the Week - Elaine Donnelly

Elaine Donnelly, the President of the Center for Military Readiness is this week's 'Tard.

Ms. Donnelly, who as far as I can tell is not a veteran, testified yesterday at a hearing of the House Armed Services personnel subcommittee on the topic of the Armed Forces' "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy for gays in the military.

Where to begin, where to begin...

She ranted against the possibility of "transgenders in the military." Really? I've got news for her - there are already transgenders in the military. They just express themselves privately.

She predicted that lesbians would take pictures of people in the shower. Because she has so much experience in showering with lesbians? I never had a lesbian try to take my picture in the shower, and I served with lots of them. If they'd tried, I'm pretty sure I would of punched them in the head. Which, incidentally, is also the treatment a man would receive if he committed the same act.

She assumed the presence of gays in the active duty ranks would spread "HIV positivity" throughout the ranks. Presumably by spreading HIV cooties.

Her written statement warned against "inappropriate passive/aggressive actions common in the homosexual community." I'm not even sure what this means. And I'm pretty sure she doesn't either.

She continued with forecasts of "forcible sodomy" and "exotic forms of sexual expression." Forcible sodomy? You mean like...I don't know...rape? I've got news for you, honey. This has been going on for as long as the profession of arms has been followed. Since rape is not a crime about sex, but one about control, the genders of the victims is really secondary. And a gay person's propensity to commit such an act is the same as a straight person's. You 'tard. And "exotic forms of sexual expression?" Seriously? Because I guess all those straight soldiers, airman, Marines and sailors would never consider any sexual act that did not include the missionary position. Denial - it's not just a river in Egypt.

She repeatedly brought up the case of "a group of black lesbians who decided to gang-assault" a fellow soldier. The fact that the alleged assault occurred in 1974 was not mentioned, at least not by her. And why was the race of the alleged attackers germane to the discussion?

The good part is that her ranting and paranoia actually hurt the cause of the homophobic right. After hearing her raving, most people don't want to be associated with such a freak.

That's a shame.

You know, people of good conscience can disagree about the best personnel policies to govern the profession of arms in this country. There are professional soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen who do not think having gays openly serving the armed forces is the right thing, and some of their concerns are legitimate and should be addressed. Just because I believe gays and lesbians should be allowed to serve openly doesn't mean there isn't another, perfectly legitimate, point of view.

But I don't think this woman's concerns are legitimate. She's fear-mongering and stereotyping in order to ensure her conservative position is the one that's "heard." She might want to reconsider that. Because, seriously, who wants this 'tard speaking for them? I'd say it was a set-up by the Democrats if the Republicans hadn't consented to the witness panel. Is it possible they didn't know how enraged and unreasonable this woman is on this topic? If so, I'd say there's more candidates for 'tard of the week.

Because I'm Just That Soft

I love the Olympics. I love watching people who have dedicated their lives to a single purpose fulfill their dreams. I love it when they win.

And I love it when they don't.

I'm soft. And I'm okay with that.

UCF Chocolate!

I have UCF Chocolate!

The UPS man came today, and brought me a package from "BonBonBar Homemade Candy Bars."

The small box contains "Single Malt Scotch" candy bars. The larger box contains "Marsh Mallows," "Malt BonBonBar Shortbread," "Orange Caramel Pecan Nougat," and "Caramel Nut."

I'm eating one of the Single Malt Scotch bars now, and I think I'm having a religious experience.

These were from Fellow UCFer and Hot Chick Tania, as a thank you for picking up her Smart Man's transmission.

I love fun surprises. Thanks, Tania! You know just what to get a girl!

Hmm....chocolate!

Bionic TEETH!

Okay, they're not really bionic, but it amuses me that people land here on that search phrase, so I'm using it.

I finally got the gold crown for my implant on Monday, so I've got a full set of choppers again.

I've decided this implant/crown procedure is the cat's pyjamas. I really had a good experience, and while I'm not really willing to go out and get my natural teeth pulled so I can replace them with implants, I would recommend this procedure to anyone missing a tooth.

A word of warning, however - my dentist, who really is a good guy in spite of his penchant for original sin, tells me that it is imperative to get a high quality maxillofacial surgeon. My guy was so fabulous, I was in and out with no muss or fuss when it came time to install the crown. I guess that's not always the case.

So here's to Dr. Hunter and his staff, who took excellent care of me. If you need an implant and you live in Colorado, Dr. Hunter is your guy.

Here Comes the JUDGE

Unfortunately, "the Judge" in this case is not a 1969 Pontiac GTO, a car I would LOVE to own.

I'm an election judge this year for my county, and tonight is my "required training" for the big event. Three hours of "Elections 101," held at the Smart Boy's High School.

In our county, election judges are paid employees, so after the August 12th election, I'll be paid for my training and my time at the polling place. I believe the total is $150.00 before taxes, and another $125.00 if I work in November, also. I would of done it whether they paid me or not, but $275.00 will pay for a few pedicures, so there you go.

The only problem is that I had to sign up at the Democratic caucus, and now the local Democrats have my contact information. They very kindly passed that on to every Democratic fund-raising organization in the world, and they won't stop calling.

The price I pay for democracy, I guess.

THAT Feels Better

I didn't exercise last week. Sue me -I was busy going into the office and saving democracy.

But I'm back to the grind this week, and man, do I feel better.

This sucks. I hate to exercise. I hate it. I HATE IT WITH THE FIRE OF A THOUSAND SUNS!

I think it's incredibly unfair and sadistic that something I hate so much makes me feel like poo when I don't do it.

Stupid exercise. Stupid biology.

Herds of Buffalo

Today is the Smart Boy's day off, and he has his buddies over here playing D&D. They're over here fairly frequently, and they play at the kitchen table, which is right above the basement, where my home office is located.

What is it about teen boys that even when they're sitting around a table, they still sound like a herd of buffalo stampeding across the high plains?

Don't Ask, Don't Tell - An Idea Whose Time Has Passed

It seems that the House Armed Services Committee will be holding meetings tomorrow to review the efficacy of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" law, in place since 1993.

I believe that the DADT law served a purpose. The military is an extremely conservative organization. Easing in the idea of gay and lesbian service members into the culture by using this compromise law allowed people to get used to the idea without feeling threatened. And the DADT culture was in place long before the policy took effect. But it's a policy whose time has passed.

I was on active duty from 1984 - 1995, and in the active reserves from 1995 - 2001. During that time, I served with many, many lesbian and gay shipmates. Some were fabulous sailors, some were not. Some were overt in their sexuality, some were not. But make no mistake - all of them were known to be gay by the general population, even if it was never mentioned. That was part of the don't ask culture. Most of the people I served with couldn't have cared less about who was sleeping with who - what mattered was your ability to execute the mission. Of course, there was a small, vociferous minority who did care. These people ranged from folks who were rabidly homophobic to those who had legitimate concerns about morale and morality.

My own view is that I don't give a rat's ass who you sleep with. One of the finest sailors I ever knew was a lesbian, and one of the best firefighters a gay man. Their sexuality did not affect their ability to execute the mission, and from my perspective, that's the only measure that counts.

I think there may be a generational issue, as well. It seems to me that by and large, younger adults simply don't care about this issue, or more accurately, consider it a non-issue. Older people still haven't cleared that cultural hurdle, and still consider the gay and lesbian community to be "other." There are obvious exceptions, of course, in both groups.

So the hearings will commence, and we can hopefully take another step forward in civil rights. Interestingly, the Department of Defense refuses to participate, saying they are upholding the current law, and that it's inappropriate to comment. Since it's an election year, and the issue appears to be split along party lines, I think that's prudent.

Interesting times.

Welcome to Grade School...er...College, Part II

So you all know that my current professor recently rewrote the syllabus for the class because so many students turned in substandard papers for our first assignment.

Well, now the students in the class are working fast and furious to place the blame for the failures squarely on the shoulders of the professor. There are e:mails going around to the entire class, essentially abrogating all personal responsibility for the substandard work. "The professor wasn't clear in her expectations!" "I rewrote my paper, and she's still not satisfied!" "I need more frequent feedback!" "How come she's so strict on the Turabian style?" etc., etc., ad naseum.

Christ on a crutch. You'd think that adult students, admitted to a prestigious university, would take some fucking personal responsibility for their own education.

I want to shake these people by their pudgy little shoulders and scream, "If you were confused, why didn't you ask for clarification? If you need more frequent feedback, why didn't you ask for it? And the Turabian style is the standard for this University, you putz."

For my own part, I'm finding this class to be ridiculously easy compared to the other classes I've taken at DU. You can be sure that my own course evaluation will detail that opinion, and also reflect negatively on my class-mates.

One of the things I've tried to impart to the Smart Boy is that real adults take responsibility for their own outcomes, and that fortune favors the prepared mind. I guess some people will never grow up...

Let Them Eat Cake...But Not Mine

This is my birthday cake.

Usually my Smart Man goes to one of our local bakeries and buys me a cake for my birthday, but this year he decided to try and make me one. He's never really baked anything, and was a bit apprehensive about it.

We cut into it last night, and it was really quite tasty.

Thanks, Smart Man! Hmmm.....cake.

Dr. Horrible - Act III

Don't forget to watch Act III of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog. It's only up until midnight tomorrow, so if you don't you'll hate yourself on Monday morning.

And if you're interested in a video response, check this out, produced by the UCF's own Kate Baker.

And the Winner IS...

Vince. Because you gotta love a guy who ends a song with beer, chocolate and monkey sex.

Vince, please let me know your hat size and your favorite colors, and I'll get started on your prize.

Loot! Loot! Loot for ME!

That's right, folks - LOOT FOR ME!

In today's mail I received this skein of merino wool from Random Michelle.

I usually knit with the senior center's castoffs, so this is fancy-shmancy for me.

Loot, Loot, Loot for ME! Thanks, Michelle!

Boogie Blogging Friday

The incomparable Boogie, with his favorite outside toy, his soccer ball.

He's clean and shiny again after yesterday's trip to his fabulous groomer Gigi, and ready to play.

This ball has ropes attached to the ball harness, which you can't see because of his beard. He just loves to hop around the yard shaking the crap out of it, all the while making happy growly noises.

Boogie loves his soccer ball. And I love Boogie.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Your job: to complete the song begun in the title. Entries that contain in the second line the phrase "I live in a tree" will automatically be eliminated. Creativity counts, people.

That's the only limitation. No holds barred. Feel free to use all your naughty, disturbing and insulting rhymes.

I will decide which entry is the best, and give a prize. No, you don't get a vote. It's MY birthday, and MY birthday song. I AM THE DECIDERER.

Open your test booklets, and begin when you're ready.

Who Cares? Magazine, Volume 2, Issue 27

Jamie Lynn's baby daddy, Casey Aldridge, is out partying and hanging out with old girlfriends while Jamie Lynn stays home and cares for the baby! Will Jamie Lynn ever have her fairy tale life? Who Cares!

An Expression of Thanks

I recently sent a note to Judge John E. Jones III, who is a U.S. District Judge for the Middle District of Pennsylvania. He was the presiding Judge for the Kitzmiller v Dover case, which effectively made the teaching of Intelligent Design illegal under the establishment clause of the Constitution.

After doing my research for my ID argument paper, I felt compelled to thank him for his service. Here's what I wrote:

"Dear Judge Jones,

"I am an adult student attending the University of Denver, and I am currently taking a course in effective communications as part of my curricula. In this course, I am required to select a controversial topic on which to perform analysis, research, and argument, and I chose the controversy of including Intelligent Design in public school high school science curricula.

"Naturally, my research brought me to the Dover case, and the Nova PBS report surrounding it.

"While I recognize your position as a U.S. District Judge requires you to interpret the law in accordance with your education and conscience, without regard to public opinion, I wanted to take a moment to thank you for your courage and conviction in deciding as you did.

"In many circles, the inclusion of Intelligent Design in science curriculum is a political issue, and I’m quite sure the Discovery Institute and the Thomas More Law Center thought they had “hit the jackpot” when a Republican, Bush appointed Judge was assigned to hear the Dover case. Thankfully, your dedication to the Constitution was a stronger influence than any political obligation you might have felt. For that, you have earned my respect and admiration.

"I am a seventeen year veteran of the United States Navy and Naval Reserve. As such, I, too, have taken an oath to defend the Constitution of the United States, and so consider you my brother, if not in arms, then in spirit.

"Thank you, and best wishes for your future career and happiness."

I write a lot of letters like this. If something pisses me off, I bitch and moan to the person I think is responsible. If someone does something I think is admirable, I congratulate and thank them. And typically, I don't receive a response to either type of correspondence.

Well, what should arrive in today's mail but a hand-written note from Judge Jones. I decided against scanning it and posting it here, because I don't have Judge Jones' permission. It also contains some personal information about his family, and I don't wish to compromise his privacy.

But he was gracious and kind, and downplayed his performance in this case. He thanked me for writing, and also for my service.

What do you know...people do enjoy being thanked for their work, and my small expression of appreciation for Judge Jones' difficult decision made his day.

I'm going to keep on writing letters. Thanks, Judge Jones.

Water-Boarding at Family Functions

Don't you love family functions where every member of the family is invited, whether you want them there or not?

I swear, sometimes talking to relatives is the equivalent of being water-boarded by your family. You wonder how some of these people manage to function, let alone breed and live on their own.

I was IMing with my Hot Sister today, and I gave her my own advice on how to handle those inevitable conversations. I've found, "Would you excuse me, please?" to be especially effective. No one can fault your manners, and what are they going to say? "No, stay here so I can stand on your last nerve some more?"

Or you could try, "Would you excuse me, please? I have to go take out my own eye with fork, because I'd rather do that than listen to you speak for ONE MORE SECOND."

What strategies do you suggest?

'Tard of the Week - Jesse Jackson

I'm three days late and a dollar short on the 'Tard of the Week this week. I had to go, you know, earn a living during my normal 'Tard research time. You'll get over it.

This week's winner is none other than Jesse Jackson, who said publicly: "Barack ... he’s talking down to black people ... telling niggers how to behave...I want to cut his nuts off."

Jesse, who made these comments during a break in the filming of some Fox News blather-a-thon, claims he didn't know the microphone was "hot" at that time.

Really.

I'm sorry, who believes a media whore like Jesse Jackson is not fully aware of when he's being recorded and when he's not? Who's talking down now? In fact, Jesse's a 'tard x 2, once for that totally unrealistic claim about the microphone, and once again for the comment itself. For someone who's made a life out of taking advantage of the misery of others, his criticism of Barack Obama reeks of hypocrisy.

What a 'tard. A jealous, egotistical 'tard, at that. Your time has passed, Jesse. Stop embarrassing yourself already and find something else to do.

Sammich, Please

The TNT series Saving Grace opened its 2nd season this week. The Smart Man and I really like this show, mostly because its message of hope doesn't make me choke, sputter or go into a diabetic coma.

However, I do have a bone to pick with Holly Hunter, who I think is smart and used to be reasonably attractive.

Girl, you need to have a sammich. Or two. Please.

Her complete lack of body fat is even more obvious on the show, and I find it stunningly unattractive.

Just my opinion.

Brothers-in-Arms

"MA2 Mike Monsoor, a Navy Seal, was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor posthumously for jumping on a grenade in Iraq, giving his life to save his fellow Seals.

During Petty Officer Monsoor's funeral in San Diego, as his coffin was being moved from the hearse to the grave site at Ft. Rosecrans National Cemetery, SEALs were lined up on both sides of the pallbearers route forming a column of two's, with the coffin moving up the center. As Mike's coffin passed, each SEAL, having removed his gold Trident from his uniform, slapped it down embedding the Trident in the wooden coffin. The slaps were audible from across the cemetery; by the time the coffin arrived grave side, it looked as though it had a gold inlay from all the Tridents pinned to it.

This was a fitting send-off for a warrior hero."

Thank you, Petty Officer Monsoor, for your service and sacrifice. And thank you to your brothers in arms, who teach us that some things are worth dying for.

Tip o' the Cover to my Hot Mom

Sad Tidings

I'm a bit bummed out this morning. One of our best friends had to put his dog to sleep yesterday due to a ruptured spleen. Chip had been our house guest many times over the years, and had achieved "old man" status a few years ago.

I'm the kind of person who will fall apart when the Boogie-Dog dies, so I'm feeling badly for our friend.

Bye, Chip. You were a good, good dog.

Welcome to Grade School...er...College

As you all know, I recently turned in a paper for my current course over at DU. It was an argument analysis on a topic of our choice.

Well, yesterday the class received an e:mail from the professor, saying that "Overall, the outcome of the first major assignment, the written analysis paper, was sadly off target. About 1/3 of you did a decent or fair job of writing the paper, about 1/3 of you had at least part of the assignment completed, and about 1/3 of you completely missed the mark."

She then went on to rewrite the syllabus to allow a rewrite of this paper and a redistribution of the points available so that students would have a better understanding the key learning points in argument analysis. The last assignment of the semester, the presentation, has been eliminated completely.

I'm of two minds about this. Part of me is glad the professor isn't so arrogant that she assumes the class' failure has nothing to do with her or her instructions. She's assumed some of the blame for the quality of the papers, and has changed course, so to speak, to attempt to correct the deficiency. The assignments in this classes are cumulative, so a failure in the first deliverable will negatively affect the work product for the rest of the semester.

However, this is college. If students were unsure about the expectations and requirements for an assignment, I believe they have a responsibility to approach the professor and get clarification. A certain quality of work should be expected, and I wasn't aware that adult college students at a prestigious university like DU got "do-overs."

In honesty, I have to say that my own paper in this class already received an "A." However, last semester I received a "C" on one of my assignments in my "Law, Politics and Policy" course. It was the grade I deserved - my analysis was sloppy, and the professor gave me specific, helpful feedback on where I could improve. He offered me a chance to rewrite it for a higher grade, but I didn't. I earned the "C," and learned a great deal as a result of his feedback. My next paper in that class was of much higher quality, and I didn't think doing work over in an undergraduate environment was an appropriate choice.

I've attended lots of colleges over the years, and this is the first time I've seen a situation where professors allow students to rewrite and resubmit work. Is this a recent development, or have I just missed it up until now?

The Spinning - It's Making Me Dizzy

Turns out the Bush administration is about to make their "grand announcement" about removing the moratorium on off-shore drilling. They're supposedly doing this in response to "skyrocketing" gas prices at the pump.

The spin, of course, is that the generous Bush administration will do a WWF smack-down on those narrow-minded tree-huggers so that average joes can afford to fill up their gas tanks. 'Cause you can always count on the Bush administration to take care of the average joe.

And yet, there's the fine print:

"A report last year by the Energy Department's Energy Information Administration said that 'access to the Pacific, Atlantic, and eastern Gulf regions would not have a significant impact on domestic crude oil and natural gas production or prices before 2030. Leasing would begin no sooner than 2012, and production would not be expected to start before 2017.'"

I haven't done the research to determine if I'm in favor or opposed to off-shore drilling - there appears to be valid arguments for both sides. But what I do know is that opening up these areas for drilling will not provide any kind of immediate relief in terms of gas prices. To suggest otherwise is just such a blatant manipulation that it turns my stomach (and makes me dizzy).

Does the general public really believe this maneuver will save their bacon and their wallet in the short term? Really? Is the public so used to eating the pablum given them by the government asshats that they'll just believe any-fucking-thing?

How come the headlines aren't talking about a long-term sustainable energy policy? Or is that just crazy talk, to be filed alongside Big Foot sightings and the proposed Denver UFO Commission?

Turning the Hearts of the Criminally Insane...Okay, Not Really

I have to go into the office for the next few days, because I'm going to be busy saving the world from world hunger, AIDS, and the criminally insane.

Unfortunately, such super-hero achievements cannot be accomplished from my virtual office, so I'm forced to actually leave the house and wear work clothes and comb my hair before noon.

I hope the world appreciates the supreme sacrifices I'm making on its behalf...

Okay, enough of that. I'll be going in for the next few days to teach a class on performing system engineering tasks in a competitive environment. It has a cheesy name, too, but that's the gist of it.

So I'll be scarce for a bit. I'll trust the regulars to smack down the trolls as appropriate and (as usual) drink all my beer and eat all my chocolate in my absence.

Happy Monday, Hot Chicks and Smart Men.

Hmm...Nachos!

We're going to go see Hellboy II this morning. I loved the first one, and I hope the second lives up to its hype.

I'm a fan of Ron Perlman, and I thought Pan's Labyrinth was simply brilliant (and more than a little disturbing), so I'm optimistic.

After that I'll be dinking around, doing chores and such, so have a nice Sunday in my absence!

"ID in Public Primary Education," A Primer

Well, the IDiots are at it again. They have a recent victory in Louisiana, where they've veiled their desire to get their pseudoscience into public school curricula, this time based on the idea that IDiots are being denied "academic freedom" in the classroom. In other words, those mean, mean evolutionary biologists don't take us seriously! It's not fair! Except they call them "Darwinists" rather than "evolutionary biologists." Makes them sound more cult-like and less scientific, I guess. Ah, rhetoric.

So here's a primer on the issues.

IDiots: We should be able to teach Creationism in public schools!

Reality: No, you shouldn't. It's against the law, and contrary to the establishment clause. See Edwards v Aguillard for details.

IDiots: But Intelligent Design and Creationism aren't the same thing at all!

Reality: I'm not sure who you think you're fooling. Your rebranding efforts failed pretty miserably when it was proven during Kitzmiller v Dover that the Creationism and ID movements are the same movement. You just had to change the name after Edwards v Aguillard, because that mean, mean SCOTUS determined that theocracy was not in our future.

IDiots: But we're a Christian Nation!

Reality: What a shock that would be to our founding fathers, most of whom were Deists. By the grace of the establishment clause, we are a secular nation, with a majority Christian population. This a subtle but crucial distinction, and one that forms the basis for the legal protection of minorities in this country. Saying "we're a Christian nation" is the moral equivalent of saying "we're a white nation."

IDiots: It's an issue of free speech!

Reality: Actually, it's not. Hypothesis that have not been rigorously tested within the bounds of the Scientific Method do not belong in high school science class. We don't allow other forms of supernaturalism in the classroom, so don't make the argument that you're "special." Except in the Little Yellow Bus, sense, I mean. But you're free to spout your nonsense on the Internet, in self-published works, or at the Discovery Institute. Knock yourself out.

IDiots: But ID is science!

Reality: Really? ID is a negative argument, and thus unfalsifiable. It's not science, and the only people who think it is are the ones trying to introduce their religious views into the classroom. Want to prove that it is science? Publish your findings in a peer-reviewed journal such as Nature, and try to major in "Intelligent Design" in any accredited, respected biology department. Oh, and legally? It is most definitely not science. See Kitzmiller v Dover for details.

IDiots: But evolution is just a theory!

Reality: Yeah, the same way gravity is just a theory. Get your terms right. Implying that the word "theory" means the same thing in a scientific context that it does in every day usage is disingenuous at best.

IDiots: We should teach the controversy!

Reality: What controversy? The vast majority of people who have the education to understand the key issues believe that ID is not science. It's only the people with a religious agenda who believe there's a controversy. Not exactly an unbiased agenda.

IDiots: We're being discriminated against for our religious views!

Reality: Get over yourself. The academic and scientific world is under no obligation to give professional respect to every crackpot idea that comes down the pike simply because it's religiously based. There are plenty of scientists who manage to reconcile their lives of faith and the rigors of science. Just because you can't doesn't mean a new "branch" of scientific enquiry should be funded.

IDiots: It's a question of academic freedom!

Reality: Not really. If you had a theory that held up to scientific scrutiny, and the science world was trying to "keep you down," you might have cause to complain. But your hypothesis doesn't cut it. And neither do you.

And spare me the tired arguments of irreducible complexity, the origin of the eye, the discovery of transitional forms and anything brought up by ID's bitch, Michael Behe. All of these issues have been addressed so many times they're no longer even a dead horse - they're a wet spot on the floor. This type of "Lalalala, I can't hear you!" response is just so lame, I don't even want to discuss it.

---------------

Title modified 7/12/008 2:40 p.m.. I changed the name of the is post to more accurately reflect the content. It occurred to me that the title probably implied I considered all the ID idiocy to be part and parcel of the Academic Freedom Law, and that is not the case. I consider the Academic Freedom Laws to be a vehicle of the ID crowd to promote their agenda.

In Which Janiece Speaks for the Masses

I listen to a lot of NPR, and recently I sent an e:mail to "Tell Me More" about the story of Rene Marie, the jazz singer who sang the "Black National Anthem" at the Colorado State of the State meeting.

Well, I guess my comment was indicative of how a lot of people felt, because I was invited to record it for the show. You can find the segment here if you want to listen.

It only took me four tries before I got it all out without stammering like a dumb-ass who has never spoken in public before.

I'm Getting Old...So Get Off my Lawn!

Today my Smart Boy made the appointment to have his Senior Pictures taken. His school won't accept yearbook pictures that have "props" in them, so he'll be taking a bland one to satisfy the yearbook Nazis (probably in his newly earned Letterman's jacket), and then some additional shots in his fencing gear. All for the low, low price of $290.00!

We've also been discussing which colleges he should apply to, as that delightful process needs to be done before the end of the calendar year. It's completely up to him, of course - I've already been accepted to college.

I'm getting old. This time next year, the Smart Boy will be going off to college, with the distinct possibility that he'll be living on campus.

I'm way too young to have kids in college.

But just in case, I'll be here, practicing shaking my fist at the neighborhood children..."Get off lawn! Damn kids!"

Boogie Blogging Friday

Boogie's getting a little musty and fuzzy. He's due for a bath and haircut next week, so he'll look much more handsome when you see him next.

But he's still a big cutie.

Who Cares? Magazine, Volume 2, Issue 26

Michael Jackson photographed looking frail and ill, riding in a wheelchair! Is his health fading after years of plastic surgery? Will the Marines come and kick his ass for wearing a cap with their logo? Who Cares!

This Makes Me Feel Good

This is a video of Matt, a guy who travels the world and takes videos of himself dancing poorly in exotic places. This one is from his third trip, where he invited locals to join him. I don't know why, but watching this makes me feel ridiculously good. Maybe because this guy looks like a complete goober and doesn't care. Maybe because he inspires other people to look like complete goobers, and they don't care either. Either way, being a goober is involved, and how can you not smile at that?

Tip o' the tap shoe to Cindi in CO

My Name is Janiece, and I Have a Problem...

As you'll recall, I recently discovered the joys of audio books. I wanted a way to increase my "reading" time, since I always seem to have other things to do instead of reading, and the result is that I have three shelves of books in my "to read" pile.

Distressing.

Well, I've been perusing the audio book section of the library, and guess what? I can see that my "to listen" pile is going to quickly get out of hand. I'm currently listening to Vanishing Acts, by Jodi Picoult. The following titles are awaiting my attention on my iTunes library: A Dirty Job, A Thousand Splendid Suns, Reading Lolita in Tehran, The Alchemist, and The Tenth Circle.

I have two more waiting for pick-up at my local branch, and I'm in queue for sixteen more.

I have a problem...

The Deepest Circles of Hell

I was listening to NPR today, and there was a spokesperson from the Humane Society talking about the economic downturn. She commented that people who are foreclosed frequently abandon their pets in their home rather than taking the pet to a shelter prior to moving.

This behavior invokes in me a deep-seated rage, coupled with the overwhelming desire to send the perpetrators to the deepest circles of hell, where they can be abandoned and locked into a building with no food or water, to die slowly and painfully. Then resurrect and repeat.

Attention, people who abandon their animals: Grow a fucking set, and do the right thing. If you can no longer afford to keep your pet, for whatever reason, bring them to a shelter. Don't betray their trust and love by leaving them with no one to care for them.

Christ on a crutch. Who thinks this is okay?

Hmm...Guitar Pr0n!

I listen to quite a bit of Guitar Pr0n, even though I'm not a huge fan, mostly because my Smart Man likes it so much. The good news is that I get exposed to a variety of musicians, and even ask for copies of the ones that strike my fancy.

In that vein, I have to say that Joe Bonamassa's 2007 CD was more than adequate, and I'm starting to become a bit of a fan-girl. Technically, he's a blues artist, but at the end of this performance, you'll see why I also consider him Guitar Pr0n.

Here's the title track from Sloe Gin. Enjoy!

Lalala, I Can't Hear You!

In a truly shocking development, the Office of the Vice President has been accused by former EPA deputy associate administrator Jason K. Burnett of editing the testimony of CDC Director Julie Gerberding, who found that global warming is "a serious public health concern." Such a finding, made public, might actually require that we get off our collective ass and do something about our carbon emissions, and well, we can't have that.

This is following the White House's refusal to open an e:mail from the EPA detailing the finding that climate change poses a threat to public health. Because, really, if you don't "officially know" about something, you have no obligation as a public official to take action.

Isn't it nice that we have a government that follows the "Lalala, I can't hear you!" policy approach, followed by the "These aren't the 'droids you're looking for, move along" strategy of public communication.

Proud to be an American under this administration, yessiree, Bob.

Remind Me Not to Move to South Dakota...

Wouldn't you just love to live in South Dakota? Later this month, a law goes into effect there that will require doctors who work in the one abortion clinic in the state to tell women who are seeking an abortion: "'the abortion will terminate the life of a whole, separate, unique, living human being,' and that they have 'an existing relationship with that unborn human being' that is constitutionally protected. (What does the constitutionally protected part mean? Who knows.) In addition, doctors are ordered to describe 'all known medical risks of the procedure and statistically significant risk factors,' including 'depression and related psychological distress' and 'increased risk of suicide ideation and suicide.'"

LOVELY.

While I am deeply ambivalent on the topic of abortion, I have to say that mincing the language between "fetus as person," which the SCOTUS determined was not the case in Roe v Wade, and "fetus as human being" is disingenuous, at best. Additionally, forcing physicians to make statements to their patients that they obviously don't believe to be true is an abrogation of their First Amendment rights. If a doctor actually believed that statement, would they actually work in an abortion clinic in the first place?

I believe my reproductive freedom is the cornerstone of my ability to be an equal and contributing citizen. So while I think that sex education and affordable birth control are the real cornerstones of that ability, I also believe abortions should be safe, legal and rare.

Why does this law leave the same taste in my mouth as that retarded "Academic Freedom" law in Louisiana?

Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History, Volume XII

This is Judith Jamison. She is the a dancer and choreographer and is currently the artistic director of the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater.

She debuted in "The Four Marys" at the American Ballet Theatre in 1964, and joined the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater as the principal dancer in 1965.

A very tall and strong woman, her career broke boundaries for African American women dancers, especially when she debuted the solo dance Cry, choreographed by Alvin Ailey specifically for her.

Judith Jamison not only broke boundaries for African Americans in classical and modern dance, she broke boundaries for women who did not meet the petite standard of dancers. Her proteges are also tall and athletic, and her dances reflect a more diverse body type than other choreographers.

Judith Jamison. Artist. Trailblazer. Ill-behaved.

In the Interest of "Equal Time"

In the interest of "Equal Time" for the 'tards on the left, am I the only one who thinks Bill Clinton is really being a childish jerkoff in terms of Hillary losing to Barack Obama?

Anyone?

Anyone?

Bueller?

I Hate Coming Back From Vacation

That is all.

'Tard of the Week - Karl Rove

I'm beginning to think that when it comes to 'Tard of the Week, the entire right is the gift that keeps on giving.

This week it's that bastion of free thought and moral values, Karl Rove.

As reported by ABC News' Christianne Klein, ole Karl said of Barack Obama, "Even if you never met him, you know this guy. He's the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini and a cigarette that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about everyone who passes by."

Karl made these remarks while attending a breakfast at...wait for it...the Capital Hill Club.

Karl, while your ability to talk out of both sides of your mouth is legendary, this is above and beyond even for you. Although your brilliant strategy during the 2000 election of spreading rumors that Senator McCain's adopted Bangladeshi daughter was really his "love child" with a woman of color makes you a fucking expert on people who make snide remarks. So really, you're a 'tard on two levels.

Now, that's impressive.

Hancock

We went to see Hancock this morning. I don't know why everyone's piling so much hate on this movie. I liked it.

Of course, the presence of my same-sex girlfriend didn't have anything to do with that. Really.

New Feline Nieces!

As you'll recall, meat friend and fellow rabble-rouser The Mechanicky Gal lost the Great Huntress Francesca to the coyotes in early June.

After much searching, which means she finally got off her butt and went to the Animal Shelter, she has added some family members. I present to you, the New Feline Nieces!

I don't know what their names are, so I've decided to call them "Thing 1 and Thing 2" in a nod to one of my favorite authors. I've also decided I think the mousey colored one ("Thing 2") is just about the coolest looking cat ever.

Congratulations, Amy, on your recent additions. May they soon be the scourge of the neighborhood!

I'll Have my Crow with Ketchup, Please

I got an e:mail from The Mechanicky Gal, aka Amy today. She had received the Hair Condoms she requested from my Hot Mom yesterday, and wanted to show me how FABULOUS they turned out.

Now Amy is the best dressed gal in her ballet class, thanks to my Hot Mom.

On a similar note, if you'll recall, I was poking fun of my Hot Mom for for knitting a cozy for her cell phone. Well, I was in the Apple Store with my Smart Man this evening, and what did I see for sale in the iPod accessories rack but the new "iPod Socks."

So, yes, I will have my crow with ketchup, thank you very much. Who knew my Hot Mom was such a trendsetter?

Out and About

We're off to Northern Colorado to do some chores for my Hot Mom today.

Enjoy my beer and chocolate while I'm gone, but leave me some Pomegranate Mike's for my return.

Teh Stupid - It Burns!

For my effective communications class this quarter, I am required to select a controversial issue that is to be the basis of my deliverables - a rhetorical analysis of an argument, an original argument, and a presentation of that argument.

For my topic, I chose the movement to include the Theory of Intelligent Design in High School Science Curricula.

Can you guess what side of the argument I'm on?

Yeah, shocking, I know.

Well, I'm working on my rhetorical analysis, and the argument I chose is a paper entitled "Intelligent Design in Public School Science Curricula: A Legal Guidebook." It was written by two attorneys and the Director of the Discovery Institute's Center for the Renewal of Science and Culture, and sponsored by a gem of an organization called "The Foundation for Thought and Ethics."

Teh stupid - it burns!

There are so many logical fallacies and examples of blatant untruth in this thing, the longer I study it, the faster I can feel my IQ dropping.

And here's the interesting part - every argument, every theory, every fucked up assertion in this POS was trotted out for the Dover trial in defense of teaching ID in public schools. And every argument, every theory, every fucked up assertion was soundly crushed into the ground by the ACLA, Pepper Hamilton, LLP, and Americans United for the Separation of Church and State and Judge John Jones III.

If I had failed that badly, and that publicly, I would try to get the thing off the Internet.

But I guess it doesn't matter much to them, since they're still using the same tired arguments, and in some cases, such as the new Louisiana anti-evolution law just passed and signed by that whack-job Governor Bobby Jindal, winning.

I need a drink.

"Today, We Celebrate Our Independence Day!"

"Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in this history of mankind. Mankind -- that word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests.

"Perhaps its fate that today is the 4th of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom, not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution -- but from annihilation. We're fighting for our right to live, to exist. And should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice:

"We will not go quietly into the night!
"We will not vanish without a fight!
"We're going to live on!
"We're going to survive!"
"Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!"

Happy Birthday, America. Many happy returns of the day.

Just Another Reason to Keep Me Around

30%

OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

I'm statistically unlikely to eat you if we're trapped and starving.

That's something I always look for in a friend.

Neil Gaiman is a Strange, Strange Man

But I mean that in the nicest possible way.

I finished Interred With Their Bones yesterday. My review: Meh. I usually like whodunits, but in this case, the author spent so much time talking about the history of Shakespeare I kind of drifted in and out and missed some things. So: Meh.

I started Anansi Boys yesterday afternoon, and what a difference. It's read by Lenny Henry, who is doing a fabulous job, and the story is weird, wonderful and strange. Emphasis on strange. Makes me wonder a bit about Neil Gaiman's upbringing.

However, I'm about 25% done, and I'm thoroughly enjoying it. I've decided I love my library. Hear that, Douglas County Library? Love, love, love. I'm sorry I've been gone so long - it won't happen again.

Recipe Sharing Thursday!

I hereby declare Recipe Sharing Thursday!

Mostly because I need some new ideas for my own menus, but at least I'm going first. I really need some interesting casserole recipes - hint, hint. But no Moose Lips. Just sayin'.

Maryland Crab Cakes

1 lb drained crab meat (blue crab is best)
1 tsp Old Bay seasoning
1/4 tsp salt
1 T mayonnaise
1 T Worcestershire sauce
1 T chopped parsley or 1 tsp dried parsley
1 tsp onion flakes (optional)
1 T baking powder
1 slice white bread, broken into small pieces
1/4 C milk
1 egg, beaten
3 T oil

Break up bread and moisten with milk. Add crab meat, Old Bay seasoning, salt, mayonnaise, Worcestershire sauce, parsley, onion flakes, baking powder and beaten egg. Shape into 4 patties, 1/3 inch thick. Fry in heated oil, or broil by spraying boil sides with oil, then broil 5 minutes on each side.

Cook's note: If you don't have access to fresh crab, I've used the Blue Star blue crab meat that comes in the foil pouch, and it's an acceptable substitute.

Cook's note 2: I use fine bread crumbs rather than a slice of bread. It makes each cake more crabby. And we all know how much I like being crabby.

I Am On Va-Ca-TION!

I'm on vacation for the rest of the week, mostly because my company's policy is "use it or lose it," and I have a number of days left I need to take before the end of the fiscal year.

No plans, really, since the Smart Man and the Smart Boy are both working. Today I got my hair cut and prepared home-made lasagna. Tomorrow I'll probably do some chores in preparation for a 4th of July BBQ.

But I'll be damned if I'll work through vacation days that are part of my benefits package. Especially in light of recent layoffs at my company.

Hmm...maybe I should be using this time to update my résumé...

What are your vacation plans for this summer?

Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History, Volume XI

Meet Jeannette Rankin. She was the first woman to be nominated to the United States House of Representatives, and she's still the only woman elected by the state of Montana. During her first term in Congress, the 19th Amendment had not yet passed, so even though women were permitted to vote in Montana, they could not in much of the U.S.

She was an educated woman and an early suffragette. As a pacifist, she voted against the United States entering World War I and World War II.

She was also a founding vice-president of the ACLU, an organization I've come to respect and support, and a founding member of the Women's International League for Peace and Freedom.

I'm not a pacifist, and I believe her decision to vote against our entry into World War II was a mistake. But she was a woman who knew her own mind, and acted on it with decisiveness and courage. Dedicated to those who could not protect themselves, she was active in efforts to reduce infant mortality, and provide health care to women and children. Her legacy, the Jeanette Rankin Foundation, has provided scholarships to low income women across the United States since 1978.

Breaking barriers. Living a life of public service. Acting in accordance with her conscience. Courageous. Ill-behaved.

In Which Boogie the Giant Schnauzer Enjoys a Treat from his Auntie Tania

Fellow UCFer and recent Meat Friend Tania brought a special treaty-treat for Boogie the Giant Schnauzer when she arrived in the Mile High City.

They're called "Yummy-Chummies," and they're a chewy, salmon treat.

He loves them.

But they smell like a cannery. And so does Boogie's breath when he eats them.

So Boogie says "Thanks, Auntie Tania!" and Janiece says, "Thanks, Auntie Tania."

Of Two Minds

I've been following the Seymour Hersh story in the upcoming New Yorker magazine, regarding covert operations in Iran.

In it, he details the Bush administration's requests for covert operations funds to the Congress, as well as the means and goals of this program. This includes the deployment of JSOC covert operatives to destabilize the Iranian religious political infrastructure, as well as a list of "high value targets" identified by the Vice President's office.

I'm really torn about this.

The liberal in me is saying, "Fucking administration! We don't need another war in the Middle East! What the fuck is wrong with these people?"

The veteran in me is saying, "Fucking media! How dare they put our covert operatives in harm's way for the sake of a story! What the fuck is wrong with this guy?"

I need to think about this.

June 'Tard of the Month Voting

You can't have a 'Tard of the Week without having a 'Tard of the Month, and you, Hot Chicks and Smart Men, will decide who it's going to be!

Your choices are:

The Nameless Australian "Washer-Man"
Ted Twietmeyer
Fox News
Pat Buchanan
James Dobson

It's time for all you lurkers to come out and vote!

poll by twiigs.com