News from HCDSM HQ

Hey there. Long time, no see.

Which is entirely my fault, of course. I haven't been a very conscientious writer for some time, nor have I been a very conscientious reader, having given up on my RSS feed and most sources of news except the Washington Post.

The reasons for this should be obvious, and I'll leave it as an exercise for the class.

So what's been going on here at Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men HQ?

One of my volunteer gigs has devolved into something of a political shit-show, and I've been stressing over it. I'm unsure how much longer I'll be interested in serving in this particular role, because crap on a cracker, politics make my teeth hurt. And I can't see losing sleep (literally) over a volunteer gig.
__________ 

I joined my local Rotary Club for about six months. I ended up resigning due to a cultural misfit, i.e., Rotary Clubs tend to reflect the communities in which they reside, and we all know I, as an individual, represent about 10% of all liberals in Douglas County. Which isn't a problem in and of itself, except when the majority assumes you hold the same views as they do and some of them feel free to express their opinions without discernment. Or kindness.
__________

I started a new assignment in my day job in April. The move was non-optional as there was another team who needed a skill set I happened to have, but the change has been good, and I believe I'll have a greater chance for sales success in the new role. Go, me.
__________

It's Spring! You know what that means: GARDENING. While I thought I was about done last Fall in terms of getting things growing and where I want them, I was wrong. So it's been back to Lowe's and Gardner's Supply Co. for new containers, plants, etc. Growing things when you live on a hill and the soil is basically 100% clay is a pain in the ass, but I also suspect that gardening is like laundry in that it never, ever ends.
__________

I've been reading a lot. I've finished 80 books since January 1st, and while I expect I'll be slowing down a bit for the summer, that's a pretty good clip. 
__________


I've decided to go back to school (again). Once I graduated, I stopped going and started to listen to the Great Courses so I could continue to learn new things, but that hasn't worked out the way I wanted it to. I enjoy the lectures, but it's a pretty passive activity, and so doesn't engage my brain in an active, focused way the way actual coursework does. So I've enrolled in the local Community College to take enrichment courses starting after Memorial Day. First on the agenda: Database Design and Development. Chronic school attendance is good for my brain, and the longer I go without it, the more I feel my IQ points dribbling out of my ears. Bonus: I can acquire skills that might be valuable in my current day job as well as future volunteer gigs.
__________

That's about it here at HCDSM. I'm trying to re-engage in my on-line communities, but on my terms, rather than being victim to the time-suck.

The Great Social Media Experiment

I've been on hiatus since December 18th.

Not just from Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men, but from Facebook, Twitter, my RSS feed, pretty much everything on-line with the exception of e:mail, SMS, my reading apps, and Google.

And aside from a mild itchiness of habit for the first week or two, I've been surprised at how little I've missed it. So here are the pros and cons of my two month experiment:

Pros

1. Reduced the "noise" in my life.
2. I feel more present in my life. 
3. I feel more generally focused.
4. I'm angry or upset a lot less.
5. The time suck is gone.
6. I read more. A LOT more. 
7. I'm no longer exposed to people who will say the most hateful shit imaginable in order to make some sort of point against me in an on-line disagreement. 

 Cons

1. I'm missing news from my friends and family.
2. I'm not staying abreast of the news, which I consider my civic duty.
3. I've had some interesting things to share or write about the last two months, and no where to put them. 

The Verdict

Obviously there are far more "pros" to giving up social media than there are "cons." But they bear similar weight within my own value system. The "pros" relate to my mental health and sense of balance, but the "cons" relate to my duty to people I care about and to myself.

What I've decided is that I need to find a balance between both. I want to spend some time on Facebook and such, but not much. I want to spend some time reading the news, but only once a day, and from only reputable sources (rather than links through FB, blog entries, etc.). To help with my peace of mind, I need to MAKE time to engage in meditation, as advised by Sister Stacey and the 10% Happier folks.

I'm going to try and reintegrate some of these things into my daily life. I'll be hiding, unfriending, or outright blocking people with reckless abandon (see pros #1, #4 and #7). I'll be limiting my FB time by not reinstalling the app on my phone (see pro #5). And if if social media starts infiltrating my new serenity with its redunkulousness, polarization, nasty-ass people, and lying liers of lies, I'm fully prepared to force it out the airlock with few regrets.

So I'll see you on Facebook or Twitter. Occasionally. In short doses. 

Holiday Break

I know I just came back from hiatus, but I need to take a break from social media, y’all.

Between the news, polarizing content, and getting myself wrapped around the axle, I have found that I’m less than present in my daily life.

I need to take a break, and practice being present. I need to read more. I need to watch less TV. I need to start excercising with some discipline. I need to start eating healthy food. I need to start practicing some disciplined self-care.

And social media and our terrible world are interfering with all these things, the things I need to do to for my own benefit and for the benefit of the people around me.

See you all after the holidays. Maybe.

10th Anniversary

Today is the 10th Anniversary of Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men. Ten long years. This is the 2,955th blog post since I started, although I think about 80% of them are crap, 15% are readable, and about 5% can be described as good.

Ten years is a long time for a single individual endeavor that isn't motivated by fame, fortune, or sex, and I've noticed that I've been half-assing it for the last year or so. Lots of political bitching and links to other people's content, not much original writing. That's why I needed a hiatus, I think. To calm my mind, re-evaluate what I wanted from this space, determine the type of culture I want to foster here. In many ways, this space has been a snapshot of my psyche over the last decade, from my political opinions to my personal values, from the joys of my life to my greatest sorrows. I've met some outstanding friends through this (and other) on-line venues, including Sistah Stacey and Brother J.R.

All of that has been to the good, but I needed to take a step back, to determine what kind of space I need and want at this point in my life.

It's unlikely I'll stop blogging about the asshattery of politics, especially in our current political climate, but I want this space to be more than bitching about 45 and his insane clown posse. I want it to be about the human condition, and my place in the world. I want it to be about the good in our species, and how we demonstrate that good. I want it to be about the things that make our lives meaningful, and the value of those things.

In other words, less snarky and sarcastic, and more thoughtful and grateful.

But not without humor and whimsy. Because humor is one of the things that makes this life worth living, and being whimsical relieves the tedium of life maintenance.

So I'm back, like the mold that grows in your drywall and never goes away. Here's to another ten years of life and love, joy and sorrow, self-examination and sarcasm. The nature of HCDSM has changed, with reader commentary and interaction moving to other social media streams, but this is where my on-line journey started, and this will always be my on-line home.*

Let the conversation resume.  
________

*Suck it, Mark Zuckerberg.

On Hiatus

I will going on hiatus for a while. I have some housekeeping chores to attend to, and I'm more than a little sick of hearing myself complain about 45 and his insane clown posse.

So it's break-time. I hope to see you again when Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men is back on line!

In Remembrance

Today I learned that my blog circle, The UCF, has lost one of our members. Dr. Philip Edward Kaldon - known to all as "Dr. Phil" - was our resident physicist, author, pusher of deep-dish pizza, funny man, photographer, and all around good egg. He is survived by his lovely wife and companion of 32 years, Debbie, known here as "Debbie the Librarian." We grieve with Debbie, and stand with her in love and remembrance.

Back to the stars, Dr. Phil, from whence you came. The night sky will shine a little brighter in your light.

photo by Al Bogdan

Happy Anniversary, Hot Chicks and Smart Men

Today is the anniversary of my first post on this blog. It's been seven years, and 2,572 blog posts.

The nature of this space has changed somewhat over the years. For the most part, the comments sections have moved to other forms of social media. I don't write as often as I used to, and when I do write, it's in fits and starts. But I still consider Hot Chicks my on-line home, and when I have something to say, I typically say it here. Facebook and other social media forums have their place for me, but for long form writing, blogs are still the thing.

Over the years, this place has become something of a stream of consciousness repository for me. I've shared may of my most important values and beliefs here, and my readers have come to know me far better than I know them.

I've read that the shelf-life of blogs is typically pretty short. They get abandoned, or they get taken off-line, or they get archived. I don't know if I'll ever do that with Hot Chicks, but for now, we're still chugging along, towards the light. Thanks for sticking with me, Hot Chicks and Smart Men, and sharing my life.

"With all due respect, sir, you're beginning to bore the hell out of me."

I used to read the blog of a fairly well-known Science Fiction writer. I enjoyed his pithy commentary on social justice, politics and other topical subjects. And I liked his books, as they were amusing in the way a popcorn flick is amusing. He's a bit lazy when it comes to his craft, and his books aren't deep, aren't really meaningful - but they are kind of fun.

Over the years, however, his on-line presence has basically degenerated into an orgy of self-promotion and on-line flame wars featuring smug diatribes about his superiority. This is not amusing to me, and I can't see why I should continue to waste my time reading his personal screeds.

People absolutely have the right to use their personal space however they see fit. This individual has no obligation whatsoever to use his blog in any way that doesn't conform to his wishes, or provide personal amusement, or move his goals forward.

Just as I have no obligation to continue to visit that space other than as a mechanism for learning about new authors and books. Because when it comes to on-line content, the ultimate sin is being boring.

Miscellaneous Monday

Writer's Block

Or more precisely, writer's apathy. Lately I have been singularly unmotivated to write original, scintillating content for HCDSM.

I suspect the reason is twofold - I only have so much non-professional energy to go around, and I've been focusing on other things rather than writing. Things like running, and baseball, and my Awesome, Awesome Niece, and home improvement projects, and reading.

The second reason is that I think spaces like this tend to ebb and flow in terms of content. Because I don't use this space for self-promotion, it can basically be whatever I want, whenever I want. So when I'm feeling unmotivated content can become a little thin and I won't incur serious repercussions. It's true that I may lose casual readers during these periods, but my regulars have been pretty loyal in terms of waiting me out when my content goes through periods of meh.

I don't know when the meh will abate - hopefully soon, as I'm starting to bore myself.

Run, Janiece, run

I've been slowly increasing my once-weekly "long" run (as compared to my twice-weekly 10K training runs), and yesterday, for the first time, I ran nine miles. I'm hoping to get to thirteen miles before the end of the year, but I am in my late 40's, so we'll see how the body holds up to those demands.

I'm really happy that I've finally reached a point where I see my body as the amazing machine that it is, and take pleasure in its performance, but damn I wish I'd come to this realization when I was still young and strong. Gravity is indeed a spiteful bitch, not to mention aging joints.

Pimpin', yo

While I'm not a huge fan of the short story, I would like to recommend a couple of short stories written by Hot Chick, occasional commenter and all-around good egg Rachael Acks. She's published two Steampunk stories entitled Murder on the Titania and The Ugly Tin Orrery through Musa Publishing and available on Amazon. Rachael has a most amusing turn of phrase that made me snort through my nose more than once while enjoying these stories, so you should totally run right out and buy multiple copies. You know you want to.

Content Advisory

Today I'm turning over a new leaf.

That's right, I've finally bored myself right off the Internet with the self-indulgent crap I've been writing here at Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men, and I'm ready to return my usual pithy content and stay away from the pity party bullshit.

Yes, yes, my life was a shitstorm for a while, and I needed a place to vent. But things are looking up - my Hot Mom's on the mend, next week is my last scheduled travel week for a while, and I have some things to be grateful for and to look forward to. And I have other things I want to write about - feminism, and politics, and books, and mental health. And I can't do any of those things if I'm too busy crying in my beer about how the Universe is pissing in my Wheaties.

So. Welcome back, Janiece. Nice to see you again.

Hiatus

Remember how I said that shit kept happening? Well, apparently it's decided to breed and have its little shit babies all over my life, and something's got to give. Several somethings, in fact.

Unfortunately, one of those somethings is probably going to be regular posting here at Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men. I don't know that I'll actually be on hiatus per se, but I think it's fair to assume that my time to write will be drastically reduced for the foreseeable future, and Free Shit Friday will definitely be on hiatus since I will have no time to go to the Post Office. 

I hope to return to my regularly scheduled programming at some point, but I'm unsure when. In the meantime, have fun on the Internet, my friends.

Happy Anniversary

Today is the fifth anniversary of Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men. In the last five years, I've posted to this space 2,266 times and I've had 267,820 unique visitors.

And I've built a small, satisfying online community. I've had the chance to meet some of my readers in meat-space, and they've been as clever, entertaining, and decent in person as they've been here. Thankfully, the troll-fests have been few and far between, and if my community has remained small and intimate compared to other blogs on the Internet, you can assume it's because I like it that way. I like the fact that I "know" my regular commenters, and that they "know" me. I've occasionally written pieces that ended up attracting the whackadoos and the scum sucking asshats that hang around Reddit, and I've decided that keeping my parties small and "invitation only" is a better fit for me and for this space.

Which is not to say that I'm not going to rant periodically, and I may even rant about controversial topics. Just not every day. It's not good for my blood pressure, and it tends to attract the wrong crowd over the long haul.  Pandering to sycophants and militants holds little appeal to me, compared to the often funny, insightful exchanges that have occurred in my comment threads over the years.

Happy Anniversary, Hot Chicks and Smart Men. And thank you for helping me make my blog a place I'm proud to call "home."

Charles Carreon: Doubling Down on the Douchenozzle

One of my favorite webcomics these days is The Oatmeal, a slightly raunchy dissertation on geekery, douchebags and living in the modern world. I also love, love, love their Horrible Cards, which I totally buy for all my friends and family.

So I've been following the whole FunnyJunk vs The Oatmeal Internet debacle with some amusement. There's a great synopsis (including some legal opinion) over at Popehat, which you can find here, here, here and here.

In case the Popehat entries are TLDR for you, here's the short version:

• FunnyJunk has apparently been publishing the comics of Matthew Inman, the proprietor of The Oatmeal, on their site for years without attribution.
• Mr. Inman did not care for this, and called them out on their theft of his material.
• FunnyJunk then retained a self-described Internet Law expert named Charles Carreon to send Mr. Inman what's called a "demand letter" whereby the attorney demands restitution for whatever wrongs they perceive have been done to them. In this case, restitution consisted of $20K, payable to FunnyJunk.
• The Oatmeal responded in a truly spectacular fashion, expressing disparaging opinions about Mr. Carreon's legal opinion, knowledge regarding the internet, and the sexual proclivities of Mr. Carreon's mother. And because it's The Oatmeal, Mr. Inman then turned the entire thing into a charity drive for the National Wildlife Federation and the American Cancer Society.
• Mr. Carreon then basically issued a "I can't believe HOW MEAN THEY ARE TO ME" type response.
• The charity campaign (to which I contributed in FunnyJunk's name) has currently raised over $180,000.00.
• On Friday, Mr. Carreon decided to file suit in Federal Court against Matthew Inman, Indiegogo (the site hosting the charity drive), and...wait for it...The National Wildlife Federation and the American Cancer Society.

Yeah. Basically, this flaming douchenozzle is suing two upstanding charities for having the temerity to be the beneficiaries of The Oatmeal's charity drive because...wait for it...the entire thing is embarrassing. 

Now there are bunch of people offering to work the case pro bono, and a ton more offering to help foot the bill for Mr. Carreon's lawsuit. As someone who occasionally writes snarky opinion pieces, and has been threatened with legal action as a result*, this kind of thing just pisses me off, and I want Mr. Carreon's lawsuit and douchebaggery to die in a fire. So I'll be contributing to the legal fund, as well. 

Seriously, for someone who purports to be an "expert" in Internet Law, he doesn't seem to have a very firm grasp on what happens here. I wonder if he's ever even heard of the Streisand Effect? Because his name is now becoming synonymous with "Internet Douchebag," and no amount of legal action is going to make that go away.

So the question becomes, is he an emotional infant, or just stupid?

___________
*Why, yes, I am still waiting for "The Internet Authorities" to come and take down my website. Man, those people move slow.

Scarcity

You might have noticed that content has been a bit thin around here lately. There are several very good reasons for this, some of which I will actually share.

Dance, Internet Monkey! Dance!

1. I'm busy. Professional demands for my time have increased exponentially in the last several months, which leaves less time for everything else. Stupid mortgage.

2. I don't currently have much to say that I'm free to discuss publicly. I suppose that's true for anyone who blogs for any length of time - you occasionally need quiet periods where content becomes scarce and the place is dominated by photos of flowers and dogs. While I love my blog, this place is not how I make my living, so I don't feel compelled to force the issue. I'm pretty sure that doesn't make me a slacker - or maybe it does. Either way, I got nothing.

3. I am involved in a SOOPER-SEKRET PROJEKT. I can't discuss it here (BECAUSE IT'S SEKRET), but will do so when I can. It's taking up a significant portion of my free time, though, and will continue to do so, probably through June.

4. I'm out of Free Shit to give away. I haven't been making much jam lately (see items 1 and 3 above), and all the cool shit I had in queue is already gone. I'm not really interested in buying things specifically for Free Shit Friday, so we'll just have to wait until I start jamming again.

So there you have it. Hopefully July will be a little more scintillating around here.

Internet Chickens - A Sordid Tale

So a number of months ago, my good friend Random Michelle introduced me to The Bloggess, an extremely entertaining blogger who has evidently been wildly popular for some time. Obviously I'm BEHIND THE TIMES and NOT HIP. The entry Michelle referred me to was the one which explained the origin of Beyoncé the Giant Metal Chicken, who is now a GENUINE INTERNET PHENOM.

So time went on, and a number of weeks ago I was driving home from the dentist, and I saw it. A GIANT METAL CHICKEN FOR SALE. I had to have it. I turned around and bought not the five foot model, but the three foot model, thinking it would be less intrusive in the backyard and offend the Smart Man less.* I then named it "Mark Anthony" because he was sort of angular and had sharp edges. Plus my chicken was smaller than The Bloggess' model, and in no one's imagination is Mark Anthony bigger than Beyoncé.

But then I thought, what about Michelle? She LOVES Beyoncé the Giant Metal Chicken. Why should she do without? So I logged onto Amazon (is there anything Amazon doesn't sell?), and found Ricky Martin. Yes, in the strange place which passes for my brain, EVERYONE NEEDS A GIANT METAL CHICKEN.

Based on her new Internet Meme, The Adventures of Ricky Martin the Metal Chicken, I'm assuming she liked it.

And now, for the first time in public, here is Mark Anthony the Metal Chicken, ensconced in his chicken run (which he shares with my new lilac). Yes, the fence is actually to keep Boogie from digging up the mulch. Shut up. It is now a chicken run. HOUSING A BUTT-UGLY METAL CHICKEN.

Let me out, Motherfucker.

Life is good.

______________
*"Less" is a relative term. His reaction was, "What the hell did you buy?" Some people have no sense of whimsy.

Detritus*

I've been thinking about trolls lately. Not surprising, after our weekend troll fest here at HCDSM, but there are some things I just don't get.

• Why do these people give a good goddamn what I think? Seriously - why would anyone waste their time arguing with complete strangers? I don't have a particularly large readership. I have 97 followers on Google Connect. There are 113 people subscribed to HCDSM via Google reader. And I get about 150-200 unique visitors a day. When you eliminate the folks searching for the pr0n and the drive-by readers, I'd estimate there's about 150 people who read this space on a regular basis. So it's not like this is HuffPo or Yahoo or whatever. So what drives these people to come here? Perhaps it's simply a case of "Someone is WRONG on the Internet," but I just don't get the appeal. I don't scour the web looking for people who think women (or progressives, or Navy vets, or engineers) are full of shit and argue with them for fun. How is this an interesting or rewarding activity?
• Do trolls really think that being rude, condescending, and pompous will make the author (or anyone) change their mind? 
• As a corollary to the first point, what makes trolls think I give a good goddamn what they think? While I enjoy a lively exchange of ideas, and I've learned some interesting things from drive-by commenters, the fact of the matter is that trolls do not engage in a way that makes me want to learn from them. Whatever wheat they may have is lost in the chaff, and really - I couldn't care less about their opinions. What makes them believe that I do?

I'm sure there's some deep, psychological reason for this behavior (Megan?), but I'm not sure I care enough to chase it down.

___________________
*The title of this blog post is a pun that maketh me to giggle, inspired by the amazing RANDOM MICHELLE.

I Need a Better Class of Hate Mail

I hardly ever get hate mail anymore.

It used to come in fits and starts. A pimply faced douche from South Dakota who thought he knew more about case law than an actual, you know, attorney. The Friends of Andrew Basiago, delirious lawyer. The Alt Med crowd always comes out in force when I demand actual, you know, proof for their unsubstantiated claims. And of course there were legal threats from the whackadoodles who were called out for their whacky ideas.*

But in the last year or two, this space has become a bit more reflective of what's going on in my head rather than my prior rantings about the world outside. Sort of a stream of consciousness type deal. Both styles have suited my purpose, but today I realize how I'M TOTALLY MISSING OUT, DUDE.

My friend Jim over at Stonekettle Station gets amazing hate mail. Seriously - this shit is not to be believed, and if I didn't know Jim better, I'd accuse him of pulling some of the spelling and grammar mistakes straight out of his ass. Go check it out - I'll wait.

I know, right? My personal favorite was the dude who contends that a woman having premarital sex means that She has already decided to let anybody into her uterus. Like a big old party! With bonfires in her fallopian tubes! Par-tay in Janiece's uterus, everyone!

I totally need to start getting a better class of hate mail here, if only for my own amusement. Which means I need to start blogging about topics that are more controversial than how grateful I am for my friends, and how cute my dog is, and how my personal journey of growth and acceptance makes me feel, blah, blah, blah.

So to that end, I'm going to start blogging about things like, "We should institute a mandatory abortion lottery," and "People should be euthanized involuntarily when they're 75," and "We should have a Constitutional Amendment mandating belief in evil-lution," and my personal favorite, "MANDATORY CONTRACEPTION AND SEX FOR EVERYONE WHEN THEY TURN 13."

I expect the whackadoos will come out the wood work then. Maybe I'll finally get some hate mail worth publishing here, like in the good ole days.


___________
*Yes, I am still waiting for the "Internet Authorities" to come SHUT ME DOWN FOREVER for my libel. Tick-tock, whackos. This place won't shut down on its own, you know.

If You Need Me, I'll be in the Corner, Committing Jigai

I've just been called to points East to try and close the Deal That Apparently Never Ends. Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men will probably be dark for a while, as I have a lot of things to do in very little time.

I will return anon, friends.

Fair Winds and Following Seas

As many of you know, I'm a member of a blog circle called "The UCF." We're a merry band of conspirators, a community of friends and fellow travelers. I've met many of them, and I consider all of these men and women my friends. We share our tragedies and triumphs, respond with help and support when required, and our unofficial motto is "UCF Powers - Activate!" - a tribute to our diverse skill set and abilities. As a group, there's nothing we can't do.

And now we have a tragedy of our own. Over the weekend, one of our members passed away unexpectedly.

Wendy, I will miss your wit, your kindness, your generosity of spirit. I'm a better person for having known you. Our community - and the world - will be a poorer place without you in it. I lift my glass to you, and envision you in Valhalla, taking charge and putting the place in order with your indomitable spirit. Fair Winds and Following Seas, dear friend, and thank you for the pleasure of being a part of your life.

My deepest sympathies to her surviving family.

Angels and Ministers of Grace, Defend Us

Or least give us some ideas for our damn blogs.

Like my friend Eric over at Standing on the Shoulders of Giant Midgets, I have been singularly unmotivated to write about anything of substance here lately. There are a variety of reasons for this, but the most pertinent one is that my brain is simply FULL. I'm extremely busy at work (in a good way), I'm trying to read more, I'm concentrating on living a bit more healthfully, and I have a creative project I'm trying to finish. All of these activities take cycles, and rather than giving my family, friends or day job the short end of the stick, I'm afraid that HCDSM has been re-prioritized to the bottom of my very large pile.

But I'm not content to let it stay there, and that's where you, my loyal (or drive by, or whatever) readers come in.

Since it worked so well for my friend Eric, I'm soliciting ideas for content. Some of what Eric has written in response to his readers' requests has been some of his most insightful essays to date, and so I'm shamefully stealing his idea in the hopes that it will work for me, as well.

So I'm asking you, the Hot Chicks and Smart Men of the Internet, to pose questions that you'd like me to write about. Let me have it, not-so-gentle readers - I need an assist from my minions.