1. What other people think of me.
2. Other people's opinions about my decisions.
3. Why other people make the choices they do.
4. Other people's medical status and their decisions about their care, unless it's a matter of Public Health.
5. How much other people weigh, and what they choose to eat.
6. Other people's belief system (or lack thereof).
7. Whether or not other people choose to have children or not, and why.
8. Why other people choose the relationships they do.
9. How much money other people make, and how they choose to spend it.
10. Who other people choose to have an intimate relationship with.
ETA:
11. How people choose to dress.
12. How people choose to spend their time.
In Support of Mental Health
The Smart Man and I have lived here in the Big Yellow House for twelve years. We bought it when the Smart Twins moved in with us in 2002, and it remained my son's home until he left for boot camp four years ago. Moe spent a portion of that time living with her father, but moved back in with us as a college student, and stayed until shortly before her death last year.
I've always loved our house. I spend a ton of time here, since I work from home full time. I've watched my kids grow into fine adults in these rooms, and enjoyed raising two dogs here. It was the Smart Man and my first home together.
Since Moe died, though, one aspect of my grief has been my continued residence here. I have trouble going into her childhood bedroom. I have the nice china her father bought me years ago in boxes in the basement, waiting for her to claim it. The paint she used to paint her room when she moved back in with us is still in the garage. Everything about this house reminds me of my loss, and not in a good, "let's remember the good times" kind of way.
We never intended to stay in this house, even before Moe's death. It has no bedroom on the main floor, and only a 1/2 bath. It has three stories which I'm sure will become problematic as we approach our decrepitude. It's a home designed for raising kids. We thought we'd sell and make a "retirement home" selection once the Smart Man's family moved out here, but for the sake of our mental health, I think we're going to move sooner than we anticipated.
That means getting this house ready for sale. It means selecting a new community for our retirement home. And it means moving our shit (hopefully for the last time). We absolutely HATE moving. Only the grief of losing our daughter would force us to move more quickly than we planned.
But I think it's the right thing to do. Wish us luck.
I've always loved our house. I spend a ton of time here, since I work from home full time. I've watched my kids grow into fine adults in these rooms, and enjoyed raising two dogs here. It was the Smart Man and my first home together.
Since Moe died, though, one aspect of my grief has been my continued residence here. I have trouble going into her childhood bedroom. I have the nice china her father bought me years ago in boxes in the basement, waiting for her to claim it. The paint she used to paint her room when she moved back in with us is still in the garage. Everything about this house reminds me of my loss, and not in a good, "let's remember the good times" kind of way.
We never intended to stay in this house, even before Moe's death. It has no bedroom on the main floor, and only a 1/2 bath. It has three stories which I'm sure will become problematic as we approach our decrepitude. It's a home designed for raising kids. We thought we'd sell and make a "retirement home" selection once the Smart Man's family moved out here, but for the sake of our mental health, I think we're going to move sooner than we anticipated.
That means getting this house ready for sale. It means selecting a new community for our retirement home. And it means moving our shit (hopefully for the last time). We absolutely HATE moving. Only the grief of losing our daughter would force us to move more quickly than we planned.
But I think it's the right thing to do. Wish us luck.
Link Me Up, Scotty - Inspiration and Grief Edition
My platonic celebrity boyfriend Neil deGrasse Tyson taped his Startalk radio show at the New York City’s Beacon Theatre last week and commented on the success of Cosmos, why science is "trending," and why now is a good time for optimism.
____________
As a granola crunching hippie liberal, it's no secret that I have fundamental differences of opinion with most conservatives as it relates to politics, social justice, and the social contract. This is a good thing, as Republics need a wide variety of opinions and points of view to remain strong and prevent one point of view or the other to rule the nation unchallenged. But there's a big difference in the amount of respect I have for individuals I would categorize as "The Loyal Opposition," i.e., people who are conservative but have applied reason and critical thinking to their views, and "Fox News Republicans," who have....not.
____________
I've recently discovered a website called Grief Beyond Belief, which specializing in helping Atheists, Humanists and Freethinkers deal with the reality of grieving for someone when you don't believe in an "afterlife." Grief comes in waves, and I'm currently in a down-trough, which is causing me some distress.
___________
I was traveling when this came out, but I love Zen Pencils drawing of the Maya Angelou poem Phenomenal Woman.
___________
Video of the Week: Stella Young gives a life lesson about objectivization, inspiration porn and how rewarding achievement is always the way to go.
____________
As a granola crunching hippie liberal, it's no secret that I have fundamental differences of opinion with most conservatives as it relates to politics, social justice, and the social contract. This is a good thing, as Republics need a wide variety of opinions and points of view to remain strong and prevent one point of view or the other to rule the nation unchallenged. But there's a big difference in the amount of respect I have for individuals I would categorize as "The Loyal Opposition," i.e., people who are conservative but have applied reason and critical thinking to their views, and "Fox News Republicans," who have....not.
____________
I've recently discovered a website called Grief Beyond Belief, which specializing in helping Atheists, Humanists and Freethinkers deal with the reality of grieving for someone when you don't believe in an "afterlife." Grief comes in waves, and I'm currently in a down-trough, which is causing me some distress.
___________
I was traveling when this came out, but I love Zen Pencils drawing of the Maya Angelou poem Phenomenal Woman.
___________
Time to READ!
It's that time of year! Time for the Fourth Annual Maureen "AJ" Ramey Memorial Summer Reading Program, brought to you by Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men!
Each year, Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men sponsors a summer reading program. This year, I'm changing the name to honor by beloved Moe, whom we lost last summer to suicide. The one consistant thing in my daughter's life was her undying affection for the written word. So this year (and every year hereafter), we'll read in her memory, and raise a book to honor her devotion to reading. I'm quite sure my Auntie (for whom we used to read) would understand and support my choice.
Moe came by her love honestly, as I LOVE reading. I read on my Kindle, on my iPad, on the Internet. I listen to Audiobooks whenever it's not practical to read words in a row. I'd read while I was sleeping if I could stay conscious. So once again, I'm sponsoring this reading program to benefit the Douglas County Library through the Douglas County Library Foundation,* in Moe-Moe's name. Last year my amazing local library accrued $250.00 due to our efforts, and this year I'm hoping for even better results.
Here's da rules:
- The contest will run from June 21st (Today! The summer solstice! Yay!) to September 2nd (the first working day after Labor Day. Boo.).
- When you finish a new book, post a comment in the blog page devoted to the program, which you can find here. Please do not leave your comments on this entry, as they will NOT be counted. Leave your comment there (there's also a link at the top of the page) with the title and author of the book. One comment, one book. PLEASE do not post general comments on the program page. If you do, I'm going to delete them, because it hoses up my book count and I'm too lazy to create a database for the purposes of this contest. Sorry folks - that's how I roll.
- Audiobooks count. eBooks count. ANY book counts, although this year I'm going to exclude children's books read to youngsters. Last year it juked the stats, and while I strongly support reading to young people as a way of instilling life-time learning, there are other reading contests out there that specialize in this area. Please note that YA books read to youngsters still count. So, picture books: No. Chapter books: Yes.
- For each book that is read and registered in the comments by me and my readers, I will donate $1 to the Douglas County Library Foundation, up to $300.00 (note the increase from last year!).
- When the contest ends, I will use a random number generator to find THE WINNERS. THE WINNERS will each get $25.00 gift certificates to Amazon, so that you might buy more books. Each unique comment (one comment, one book) will be an entry for the gift certificate, so the more you read, the better chance you have to win.
- If the number of comments exceeds 300 (the ceiling on the donation), the subsequent comments will still be considered for the gift certificate.
ETA: The Incomparable Anne has volunteered to fund a stretch goal! If we read over 300 books this year, she'll put in a dollar for any subsequent book, up to $50.00! Better get cracking, readers!
ETA: Moe-Moe's Grandma has also volunteered to fund a stretch goal, bringing our total available donation to $400.00. SSSSTRRREEEEETTTTCCHHH!
____________
Don't be stingy with your reading, folks. There are lots of summer reading programs out there, and if you'd like me to include a link to yours, send me a note.
_____________
*Full Disclosure: I am a member of the Douglas County Library Board of Trustees, and I also Chair the Douglas County Library Foundation Subcommittee. So unlike in years past, when these organizations had no idea who I was, I'm now deeply involved with the beneficiary of my largesse. However, this reading program (and the subsequent donation) are a private endeavor on my part, and have no connection to my volunteer work on behalf of the Library and its Foundation. I just loved them so much that in addition to my money, they're also now getting my time...also in memory of my Moe.
Basenji Blogging Friday - Save the Trees Edition
Last weekend the Smart Man and I did some work in the yard. One of our tasks was to try and trim the dead lower branches out of the big Maple in the back, as we're still trying to save it from the depredations of the Damn Squirrels™. Not very successfully, I might add.
So we're cutting off branches, and who should come along to HELP but young Jackson.
She proceeded to drag the branches around the yard, until the Smart Man stripped one for her and she settled down with an apparent intention to turn it into mulch. My dog is weird.
So we're cutting off branches, and who should come along to HELP but young Jackson.
Just my size! |
She proceeded to drag the branches around the yard, until the Smart Man stripped one for her and she settled down with an apparent intention to turn it into mulch. My dog is weird.
Basenji Blogging Friday - BLANKIE
So I was changing the laundry out, and while I was folding, I kept hearing all these THUMP noises coming from the living room.
Like another dog I know, apparently Jax has discovered the wonders of BLANKIE. Unfortunately, her height is not as conducive to this type of play as Boogie. Hence all the THUMPING.
Like another dog I know, apparently Jax has discovered the wonders of BLANKIE. Unfortunately, her height is not as conducive to this type of play as Boogie. Hence all the THUMPING.
It's so fun! Why didn't you tell me about this? |
Link Me Up, Scotty - People suck except when they don't edition
My semi-celebrity platonic boyfriend Eric Garland has some words about the prevalence of violent rhetoric directed at women in the sphere of on-line discussion. This has been going on for years and years in the skeptic, Atheist and Reddit communities. It angers and saddens me tremendously to see this misogynistic crap spreading through the Ether.
_____________
For the very first time, a military Color Guard will be participating in a Gay Pride parade. Way to represent, shippies.
_____________
The Tree Lobsters on the subject of people totally talking out their asses.
_____________
Get thee on the right side of history, haters.
_____________
5 doomed, hilarious efforts by the religious right to disprove science. The cognitive dissonance, it burns.
_____________
The Weekly Video: The Piano Guys performing The Story of my Life.
_____________
For the very first time, a military Color Guard will be participating in a Gay Pride parade. Way to represent, shippies.
_____________
The Tree Lobsters on the subject of people totally talking out their asses.
_____________
Get thee on the right side of history, haters.
_____________
5 doomed, hilarious efforts by the religious right to disprove science. The cognitive dissonance, it burns.
_____________
The Weekly Video: The Piano Guys performing The Story of my Life.
Link Me Up, Scotty - Feminism Edition
My husband is not my "soul-mate." True story.
Disclaimer: I have a fundamental disagreement with this author about how we fill this void as self-aware humans. She believes only "god" (whatever that means) can fill her void, but I believe it's something I have to do for myself. But regardless of which path we take, we both agree that we have a responsibility to ourselves to bring meaning and purpose to our lives, and not look to another human being to make us whole.
___________
A Gentleman's Guide to Rape Culture, or why every man is "responsible" for rape culture, whether they're a dangerous fuckknuckle or a wonderful, caring human being. This essay makes me want to strip 20 years off my age, find Zaron Burnett III and have his lovely babies. In a purely platonic way, I mean.
___________
Not a huge fan of Staind's music, but I think Aaron Lewis is my new celebrity platonic boyfriend.
___________
My friend and shippie Jim Wright, Tool of Satan, expresses how thoroughly the Republicans have failed in their moral obligation to the men and women of the U.S. Armed Forces in light of their protests on the return of Sgt Bowe Bergdahl in a prisoner exchange with the Taliban. This, more than any other reason, is why I couldn't bring myself to serve the 30 years I'd planned on. These people absolutely cannot be trusted with my life. Or my son's.
___________
In Focus provides a photo essay of military working dogs deployed in Afghanistan and their handlers. These are good, good dogs.
___________
Video of the Week: Ze Frank brings us "True Facts about the Cuttlefish." I love this guy.
Disclaimer: I have a fundamental disagreement with this author about how we fill this void as self-aware humans. She believes only "god" (whatever that means) can fill her void, but I believe it's something I have to do for myself. But regardless of which path we take, we both agree that we have a responsibility to ourselves to bring meaning and purpose to our lives, and not look to another human being to make us whole.
___________
A Gentleman's Guide to Rape Culture, or why every man is "responsible" for rape culture, whether they're a dangerous fuckknuckle or a wonderful, caring human being. This essay makes me want to strip 20 years off my age, find Zaron Burnett III and have his lovely babies. In a purely platonic way, I mean.
___________
Not a huge fan of Staind's music, but I think Aaron Lewis is my new celebrity platonic boyfriend.
___________
My friend and shippie Jim Wright, Tool of Satan, expresses how thoroughly the Republicans have failed in their moral obligation to the men and women of the U.S. Armed Forces in light of their protests on the return of Sgt Bowe Bergdahl in a prisoner exchange with the Taliban. This, more than any other reason, is why I couldn't bring myself to serve the 30 years I'd planned on. These people absolutely cannot be trusted with my life. Or my son's.
___________
In Focus provides a photo essay of military working dogs deployed in Afghanistan and their handlers. These are good, good dogs.
___________
Video of the Week: Ze Frank brings us "True Facts about the Cuttlefish." I love this guy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)