'Tard of the Week - Terry Naugle

Terry Naugle likes to drink. He likes to drink a lot. In fact, he likes to drink so much, that he's been convicted of driving under the influence of alcohol 68 times since 1974.

I swear I'm not making that up.

So a judge in Nova Scotia finally decided that he'd had enough. On Feb 12, Provincial Court Judge Frank Hoskins sentenced Naugle to eight and a half years in prison and banned him from driving for life. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy - can you imagine how many times this fucknut was out driving drunk when the police didn't catch him? Good riddance to bad rubbish, and all that.

Well, Mr. Naugle has decided that he wants to appeal the judgment. Because it's so harsh, you see. After all, he's been given a consecutive sentence in addition to the maximum sentence of five years. 

Poor, poor Mr. Naugle. It's just SO UNFAIR. 

Fucking 'tard.


Turn of the wheel to @GoddessGeek.

Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men Answers BURNING QUESTIONS

Like many blog administrators, I am sometimes APPALLED at the search phrases that bring denizens of the Internet to my on-line home. There's a lot of lonely, ill-informed, mentally challenged people out there, and as a service to the community, I'm going to answer some of their most BURNING QUESTIONS.

Q: What does sophisticated chicks dig?
A: Decent grammar. Thanks for playing.

Q: Where are hot chicks with stormtroopers
A: In Nazi Germany. Or your imagination. But not here, so move along, please.

Q: Where are the homemade chicks
A: Good question. I'm thinking in some less-than-reputable lab, a la Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If you do find them, please keep that creepy, creepy information to yourself. Thanks.

Q: Why do chicks want men with money
A: Well, speaking only for myself, I don't want men with money, per se. I do want a man who actually, you know, has a job and doesn't expect me to support him. But I'm picky that way.

Q: "big dicks hot chicks" on ask.com
A: I don't know if the fact that my blog appears in the web results for this search is fricken' hilarious or deeply disturbing.

Also? You're not going to find nude photos of Tal Wilkenfeld here. While I believe her to be a gifted musician, I'm really not interested in seeing her without her clothes on.

AND I DON'T KNOW IF KEITH HARKIN IS GAY. STOP COMING HERE TO FIND THAT OUT. SERIOUSLY.

Symphony of Science FTW!

I love Symphony of Science. Here's the latest - The Poetry of Reality, featuring comments from a dozen different scientists, including members of my celebrity seraglio.

H/T to my celebrity boyfriend The Bad Astronomer.

Boogie Blogging Friday

In spite of his increasing age, Boogie the Giant Schnauzer is still awfully fond of going for walkies in the snow.The combination of the crisp air, the soft snow and the bright sunshine just brings out the best in him, and he tears around like a pup.

Then he sleeps for the rest of the day.

'Tard of the Week - South Dakota Legislature

We've already established that I don't want to live in South Dakota, and to be fair, they probably don't want a liberal rabble-rouser like myself, either, so it's all good.

But in spite of this "live and let live" point of view, I really do have to point and laugh at their Resolution 1009, "A CONCURRENT RESOLUTION, Calling for balanced teaching of global warming in the public schools of South Dakota."

::snirk::

Check out this language:

WHEREAS, the earth has been cooling for the last eight years despite small increases in anthropogenic carbon dioxide; and

WHEREAS, there is no evidence of atmospheric warming in the troposphere where the majority of warming would be taking place; and

WHEREAS, historical climatological data shows without question the earth has gone through trends where the climate was much warmer than in our present age. The Climatic Optimum and Little Climatic Optimum are two examples. During the Little Climatic Optimum, Erik the Red settled Greenland where they farmed and raised dairy cattle. Today, ninety percent of Greenland is covered by massive ice sheets, in many places more than two miles thick; and

WHEREAS, the polar ice cap is subject to shifting warm water currents and the break-up of ice by high wind events. Many oceanographers believe this to be the major cause of melting polar ice, not atmospheric warming; and

WHEREAS, carbon dioxide is not a pollutant but rather a highly beneficial ingredient for all plant life on earth. Many scientists refer to carbon dioxide as "the gas of life"; and

WHEREAS, more than 31,000 American scientists collectively signed a petition to President Obama stating: "There is no convincing scientific evidence that human release of carbon dioxide, or methane, or other greenhouse gasses is causing or will, in the foreseeable future, cause catastrophic heating of the earth's atmosphere and disruption of the earth's climate. Moreover, there is substantial scientific evidence that increases in atmospheric carbon dioxide will produce many beneficial effects on the natural plant and animal environments of the earth":

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED, by the House of Representatives of the Eighty-fifth Legislature of the State of South Dakota, the Senate concurring therein, that the South Dakota Legislature urges that instruction in the public schools relating to global warming include the following:

            (1)    That global warming is a scientific theory rather than a proven fact;

            (2)    That there are a variety of climatological, meteorological, astrological, thermological, cosmological, and ecological dynamics that can effect world weather phenomena and that the significance and interrelativity of these factors is largely speculative; and

            (3)    That the debate on global warming has subsumed political and philosophical viewpoints which have complicated and prejudiced the scientific investigation of global warming phenomena; and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that the Legislature urges that all instruction on the theory of global warming be appropriate to the age and academic development of the student and to the prevailing classroom circumstances.

Because, really - nothing says effective political leadership like outright falsehoods about verifiable facts, using words completely out of context and generally sticking your fingers in your ears in an attempt to pander to your economic masters.

But the best part? The VERY BEST PART? That's the part where they say "there are a variety of climatological, meteorological, astrological, thermological, cosmological, and ecological dynamics that can effect world weather phenomena and that the significance and interrelativity of these factors is largely speculative;" (emphasis mine).

DUDE! THE WORLD IS GETTING WARMER BECAUSE MERCURY IS IN RETROGRADE!

HAHAHAHAHA!

How incompetent - or stupid - or both - do you have to be to make such a fundamental mistake in language? Stupid enough to be Representatives Kopp, Bolin, Brunner, Cronin, Curd, Feickert, Gosch, Greenfield, Hamiel, Hoffman, Hunt, Iron Cloud III, Jensen, Juhnke, Kirkeby, Lange, Lederman, Moser, Novstrup (David), Olson (Betty), Olson (Ryan), Pitts, Putnam, Rausch, Russell, Schlekeway, Sly, Steele, Tidemann, Turbiville, Van Gerpen, Verchio, and Wink and Senators Brown, Abdallah, Bradford, Haverly, Maher, and Schmidt, evidently. 

Nice going, there, South Dakota Legislature. You truly are a shining beacon of ignorance, special interests and generally 'tard-ness. Also - you're awfully, well, white...don't you think?


H/T to my Celebrity Boyfriend, The Bad Astronomer.

Grace

I know I'm slow off the mark on this one, but if you haven't read Chris Brown's article about Roger Ebert in Esquire, then you should click through and spend the time on it. It's definitely worth it.

Mr. Ebert also has a journal hosted by the Sun Times, which is an amazingly candid look at the things he cares about and thinks about, and stands as an incredible testimonial to his skill as a writer and communicator.

I only hope that when my own health fails I can bless myself and those around me with this kind of grace in the final years of my life.

Impetus

There's an article in this week's Kindle edition of Newsweek entitled History in the Remaking. It details the discovery of an extremely old temple found in Turkey called "Göbekli Tepe," which means "potbelly hill" in Turkish. And when I say "old," I mean really old. Like 11,500 years old.

That's 7,000 years before the Great Pyramids. 6,000 years before Stonehenge. These ruins predate villages, pottery, domesticated animals, and agriculture.

The archeologist in charge of the dig, Klaus Schmidt, believes the discovery proves his own theory about how humanity approached the civilizing process: That religion came first, rather than permanent settlements and agriculture leading to more organized forms of religion.

I find this idea intriguing, and in my completely unqualified opinion, the evidence does suggest it to be so, at least in this isolated instance.

Interesting, as it implies a larger beneficial role for religion in our civilization than I had previously thought. Not that I don't think religion hasn't played a huge role in the cultural evolution of humanity - I am an irreligious person, but I trust I'm also an intellectually honest one. It would be disingenuous to suggest religious tradition hasn't had an enormous impact on humanity as a whole, so what's interesting to me is that this theory would move the balance scales more to the "positive impact" side than they were previously, at least in my own mind.

If religion really was the impetus for permanent settlements and agriculture, then the natural evolution of our societies as a whole have unequivocally benefited from the influence of religion rather than otherwise.

It's good to have your world-view challenged periodically, yes?

On Hiatus

Okay, not really.

But I am getting tired of feeling obligated to blog every day, whether I have anything of value to say, or not.

So from now on, I'll blog if I feel like it, and if I can't think of anything interesting to say, then I won't.

You can now commence the sighs of relief.

Attention Federal Government: I am not a Child

But apparently you are.

All the news I hear these days seems to revolve around how partisan bickering in our nation's capital is preventing any kind of progress in addressing the biggest problems of our generation: The national deficit. Health care reform. Economic recovery. Instead of coming to some sort of compromise in order to provide some relief in these areas, those who serve us in the Federal government continue to cut our noses off to spite our face in order to make the other guys look ineffective and incompetent.

Like Azrael in Dogma, these partisan hacks will let the universe (or at least the United States) burn so long as it propels their personal agenda forward. Aside from the utter short-sightedness of such a world-view, I have to say it's probably the most immoral point of view I've ever heard (sans Azrael). These people are in the business of "public service," and yet they would demonstrably sacrifice the public good in order to serve their partisan agenda.

And here's the thing - at what point does the incredible childishness of these self-serving fucknuts turn all of us into raving, populist nitwits like the Tea-Baggers? Every time I read the news, my fury grows, and I find myself feeling more betrayed, more disgusted, more cynical with our system to the point where I'm seriously considering supporting a Constitutional Convention.*

This week, the President has organized a bipartisan meeting to discuss the moribund Health Care Reform issue. Democrats and Republicans are already playing "nanny-nanny-boo-boo" as they approach this "summit," and I would be VERY surprised if anything useful or actionable comes from it.

But because I'm an opinionated git, I would like to make the following points to those who supposedly serve the public in our nation's capital:

• I am not a child. I am perfectly aware that entitlements and services cost money, and that the forecast of our expenditures far exceeds our income. I realize that in order to continue (or enhance) entitlements and services, taxes will have to be increased. That is why I'm a tax and spend liberal. Because I understand these things, and firmly believe a balanced budget is that pearl of great price. Choosing not to address these issues because you think I can't understand the reality of the situation implies something about our relationship that does not bear close examination. Let's talk about raising the age for entitlements, let's talk about reducing entitlements for those who have enough money to buy a small island, let's talk about increasing taxes. I'm ready to have those discussions, and you sticking your fingers in your ears (LALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU) is not going to result in a favorable outcome, you 'tard.
• You are not a child, although you're sure acting like one. Name-calling, engaging in zero-sum games, and generally poking the pooch when you're supposed to be serving the public good just convinces everyone that retards like the Tea-Baggers are CORRECT that you really don't have any business in a position of authority. Pull your fucking head out of your ass, curb your ego, and remember that your first loyalty should be to the American public, not your fucking political party.
• I am not an idiot. Your constant pandering to the lowest common denominator, to the large minority whose support you require at this moment, or those who have money in the quantity you need to get re-elected is TRANSPARENT. Really - who do you think you're fooling?
• Learn the fine art of compromise. Seriously. You're not always going to get your way, and in order to govern with any kind of effectiveness, you're going to have to give up something you may think is important in order to make some kind of progress. I would think this skill would be fundamental for a politician, but based on your current performance, a remedial course is evidently in order.

I've been interested in politics my whole life. I've voted in every election since reaching my majority, and I've done my best to be a responsible, informed voter. I try hard to vote not for the candidate who would do me the most good personally, but for the candidate I thought would best serve our country. But in no time in my life have I felt more disgusted, more cynical, more hopeless about our political future in terms of our domestic policy.

Where are the people of courage who will stand up and speak the truth? Where's Lyndon B. Johnson when you need him? Oh, that's right. He's dead. And I'm afraid his vision and drive died with him.



*See: Citizens United v. the Federal Election Commission.

The Story of My Life

Note Scott Adams: Your website is kind of a bloated mess. And you might benefit from a course in critical thinking. But your comic still makes me laugh, so it's all good.

Snow and Werewolves. And SNOW.

It's snowing. Again.

I suppose I shouldn't complain - this winter has been fairly mild, all things considered, and Colorado doesn't actually SHUT DOWN unless the snow is measured in yards, rather than inches.

I just don't like the cold. Because I'm wimpy that way. Which is why my living in Colorado makes such PERFECT SENSE, WOULDN'T YOU AGREE?

Ahem. Moving on...

I was able to finish my statistics homework yesterday, so today we'll be going to see The Wolfman, starring three of my very favorite actors (Anthony Hopkins, Benicio del Toro [rowr] and Hugo Weaving) and some chick I've never heard of (Emily Blunt). Hopefully it'll be all the previews promised, as I've been looking forward to this movie since I first heard about it. I'm not usually that into monster flicks, but the cast of this one may change my mind.

Of course, I've also had a soft spot for the werewolf stories since An American Werewolf in London* came out in 1981, followed by Seth Green as "Oz" in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. So I'm already predisposed to liking the story.

I'll let you know what I think.


*Am I the only one who still thinks of poor David Naughton as "that Dr. Pepper guy?" Given his body of work, that must kind of blow for him.

You Ate WHAT?

So I finally went back to Weight Watchers this morning after skipping out for three weeks in a row - first due to the death of my Gram, then because I was a lazy-butt and didn't want to get up, then because I was in Seattle visiting the FABULOUS JERI.

Not pretty. Not pretty AT ALL. I was eating either crap or very rich foods basically the whole time and my results were, unfortunately, as expected - a gain of 3.8 pounds.

However, given the depths of my undisciplined eating, I'm actually not too upset with the result. I'm back on track as of TODAY, and hope to lose what I gained within two weeks, then go back to working towards my goal.

To start things off right, tonight I'm making a new Weight Watchers recipe for dinner - Italian Sausage and Pepper Pasta, only 5 points per serving! Hopefully it'll be as tasty as the Chicken and Dumplings recipe, which convinced both the Smart Man and me that Weight Watchers recipes were the cat's pyjamas and should be made with optimism and anticipation.

Wish me luck!

Anodyne

It's Boogie Blogging Friday!

Even though Boogie is in desperate need of a bath and hair cut (he's going tomorrow), he's still the anodyne for the daily grind of my life. While I would prefer to get a hug from a dog that didn't smell quite so musty, he still makes me smile with his joyful demeanor and zest for things like daily walkies.

I love my Boogie.

You are Cordially Invited to Get Over Yourself

Technically, I'm an atheist. Because theism is, by definition, an aspect of "belief" or "faith," I would be intellectually dishonest if I presented myself as a person who had some. I don't. This is, of course, distinct from a declaration of knowledge, which is what gnosticism is about. I make no claims about the factual existence of god or gods - because of a lack of facts, I have no opinion on the topic. So to be really, anally, precise, I'm an agnostic atheist.

But in our culture, in our time, the term "atheist" has a negative connotation. I don't care for the connotation much, and I don't self-identify in that way. In many ways, I think the so-called "new atheists" are kind of dicks for the way they treat people of faith, and I don't want to join that particular club.*

Which brings us to this article about a proposed curriculum change at Harvard University. The proposal includes a new requirement for undergraduate students to complete at least one course from a group entitled Reason and Faith, which would include exploration of "big issues in religion: intelligent design, debates within and around Islam, and a history of American faith, for example."

I find such a requirement to be eminently reasonable. I arrived at my own world view only after studying the world's religions (in both a formal and informal way) for many, many years, and there was value in that study. The majority of the world's humans have some form of faith, and just because I don't share it doesn't mean it's less real or important to those people. If I want to be a person with a comprehensive education in all aspects of humanity, then I must include religious studies in my personal curriculum. To do less would deprive me of the understanding of how others view the world around them.

Well, not everyone thinks that's true. Those who oppose the curriculum change at Harvard are (apparently) led by an evolutionary psychologist named Steven Pinker. Dr. Pinker believes requiring students to take a course in Reason and Faith implies

...reason and faith [are] equal paths to truth. "I very, very, very much do not want to go on the record as suggesting that people should not know about religion," he told me. "But reason and faith are not yin and yang. Faith is a phenomenon. Reason is what the university should be in the business of fostering."

To which I say, "Huh?"

I'm all for fostering reason. The lack of reason in public discourse is, in fact, one of my pet peeves. What I don't get is how a refusal to study vast swathes of the human experience leads to reason. The evolution of religion as a human construct, and the sociological ramifications of that evolution, are a critical aspect of understanding human society. How is ignoring it and failing to include it in a comprehensive liberal arts education going to lead to graduates that are more versed in "reason?" I would hazard a guess that many irreligious people arrive at that state not due to an under-exposure to religious studies, although I can't back that up with data. More exposure, more understanding, more knowledge would seem to me to be more in-line with Dr. Pinker's stated goals, rather than less.

Now I'm not suggesting that religious studies should be included as a "science" requirement. Those who read this blog regularly know that I have little patience for the blurring of the line between those disciplines that use and rely on the scientific method and liberal arts studies. But that doesn't mean liberal arts studies in general, and religious studies specifically, don't have value. The article wasn't clear on whether or not a hard science requirement would be eliminated if the Faith and Reason requirement was instituted. If that's true, then I would say, "Go, Dr. Pinker, go!" If it's not true, then I think Dr. Pinker missed the mark on this one.

I'm not an expert on college level curriculum development. Still being a student myownself, I fully recognize that there are other, far more qualified people out there who can make better cases for both sides of this argument than yours truly. But I have to say that the smug assholery inherent in excluding religious experience and studies from a liberal arts education in the name of fostering "reason" is a perfect example of why I won't call myself an "atheist."


*What comes closest to describing my own belief system is the term "secular humanist." Secular, because I truly believe that since the factual existence of god or gods cannot be proven (or dis-proven), the concept is irrelevant to my daily life. And humanist, because I believe what's best about us as a species - our generosity, our love, our intellect, our bravery - has value for its own sake, and should be cultivated. 

There's a Reason Why They're So Expensive

Because I wore them all day today, and it felt like I was wearing my Adidas, that's why.

You ladies can find these at the Fluevog Web Site. You men can just move along. Or buy your lady a gift certificate at Fluevog, if you really want to be a hero.


Sorry for the fluffy content. First day back at work today, and I was BOOKED. Lots of changes going on, and I needed to catch up on a professional basis. So I can afford more Fluevog shoes. 

I'll do better tomorrow - I promise.

THAT Figures

 

I took this photo with my cell phone on the ferry this morning from Bainbridge Island to Seattle on our way to the airport. A gorgeous day. After four days of rain. 

Figures.

We're home safe, and back to work tomorrow.

Heading Home

Well, this morning we're heading back to Denver. After a really interesting visit to the the History of Flight Museum yesterday, we're going home today.

A most fabulous visit with most fabulous people.

Thanks, Jeri. You're the best.

Please - Send Food. We're Starving!

Seattle, Day 3.

Our hunger is now nearly overwhelming. We have eaten most everything that is remotely edible, and are now eying the household pets with a keen eye.

Behold the photographic evidence of us starving at brunch!

And again, starving at dinner!

Okay, not really.

In fact, they are going to have to roll me onto the plane tomorrow, and my Weight Watchers plan is completely in the ditch.


We basically hung out at Casa Jeri yesterday, aside from a quick trip to downtown Poulsbo to buy some gifties for certain people (bwahaha). In addition to spending the day cooking tasty food (and then cleaning up afterward), Jeri broke out her jewelry making materials, and I TOTALLY SCORED.

Quite the haul, eh? You may commence your envy.

Alas, Tom had to leave fairly early in the evening as he had a wicked early flight and had to make the journey across the Bay in order to spend the night in a hotel closer to the airport. He was (and shall be) missed! Bye, Tom!

Today we're off to Seattle again, to drop off the lovely Tania, and then to the Boeing Flight History Museum with Jeri and Nathan. The 2010 Seattle UCF-palooza is winding down (sniff).

Seattle - Day 2!

Yesterday was our second day here in Seattle, and we had another fun day. First up was a ferry ride to Seattle.

 

I love riding the ferry. That's one thing I do miss from the Navy - watching the water as you glide by. Not that the Seattle - Bainbridge ferry is in any way comparable to crossing the Pacific ocean, but I still enjoyed it.

Next was a quick trip to Nordstrom's to pick up Jeri and Tania who had come in on an earlier ferry to do some girly shopping. On the way there, I received a text from Jeri that the Jeebus demonstrators were out on the corner in front of one of the major intersections. After informing her that we would follow the odor of the Rapture to her location via text, we set off from the ferry terminal to find them. I told Nathan that I would give him $20.00 if he told the demonstrators that he was a Jew and killed Jesus, but when we got there, there were only a few of them and it really wasn't worth it.

After a quick lunch at a local deli (where I had Snickerdoodles for lunch - a healthy eater, that's me), we headed over to the Seattle Center for a trip up the Space Needle. 

 

As you can see, it was raining. Again. Still. Welcome to Seattle! 

Then we went over to the Experience Music Project and the Science Fiction Museum. The EMP had some very cool exhibits, including a sculpture made of guitars, a Jimi Hendrix exhibit, and a cool series on the history of music in Seattle.

The SF Museum had some interesting pieces of history, and also had a neat exhibit on blown glass. I took this picture before I realized they didn't allow flash photography.

 

After the museums, we were off to Elliott's for a fabulous dinner of seafood, fun and friendship. For the UCFers out there, the strangers are friends of Jeri's and Tania's from Alaska, who were as funny and nice as you'd expect friends of theirs to be. The Smart Man's identity has been hidden to protect the innocent.

All in all, a perfectly lovely day, with plenty of running up and down hills and interesting sights. Today will be more laid back, so there will be more chances for visiting and such.Wish the rest of the UCF was here, and full photo album can be found here for those on Facebook.

My Cup Runneth Over

So our very first day in Seattle is done, and my cup runneth over.

Nathan is exactly how I'd imagined him, and it tickles me no end that his on-line persona so perfectly matches who he is in real life. He makes me laugh even more in person than he does on-line, and I forgive him his complete inability to get excited over a pair of REALLY AWESOME SHOES.

Tom is an incredibly nice man (in the best sense of that moniker), and was so patient with our girly pursuits of yesterday I've decided he may even be eligible for sainthood: He thought that shoe shopping with us gals was fun.

Tania is just as lovely, funny, smart and AWESOME as I remember. My fellow Trollop from the North!

And of course there's the lovely and generous JERI. I love Jeri. I wish she lived closer, as every time I see her, I miss her when she's gone. That's both good and bad, of course.

And then there's SHOES. The shoe store I couldn't remember the name of is Fluevog Shoes here in Seattle. They make the funkiest, funnest shoes, and for Valentine's Day, my Smart Man bought me not one, but two pair.

Hmm...SHOES.

 

Those are mine there on the left, the blue and white pedestal heels and the black and cream sling-backs. These are the kinds of shoes I'll wear for the next twenty years (and maybe longer) because they're such high quality and so fun. I've already decided I'm wearing the blue ones to my 60th birthday, because I want to and I'm quite sure I'll be ready to say SUCK IT to the whole aging thing by then.

Those are Jeri's on the right. The red ones are Fluevogs, and the black are a pair of professional Danskos from a previous outing. Jeri and I share shoe-love, which makes me happier than it should.

Today we'll be hitting Seattle Center, home of the Science Fiction Museum, the Experience Music Project, and then off to dinner for some more awesome sea food. 

We still miss Michelle and Michael, and wish they were here, though. (sniff.)

Seattle, Where "Sea" food is in the Name of the Place

Almost RIGHT AT THIS VERY MINUTE The Smart Man and I have boarded an airplane for Seattle and are waiting for the craft to push away from the gate. (Note to potential robbers of the Big Yellow House: Boogie the Giant Schnauzer is on duty, accompanied by my Hot Mom. Don't mess with the Boogie. He may be a dork, but he's a big dork, and he's none too fond of strangers he hasn't been introduced to.)

We're leaving, of course, for the 2010 UCF-palooza at the lovely Jeri's place. I really need a break from work right now (the less said about that, the better), and I'm excited to see Jeri and Tania again, and to meet Nathan and Tom for the first time. Unfortunately, Michelle and Michael are snowed in, and will not be in attendance.

(Insert booing, hissing, gnashing of teeth, rending of garments and general glumness here.)

The only thing I really want to do while in Seattle is go to a fabulous, funky shoe store that Jeri and Tania recommended. The name escapes me, but I checked out their website when it came up, and decided I HAD TO GO THERE OR I WOULD DIE. Perhaps someone who knows of what I speak can link in the comments, since I'm clearly being victimized by the Mad Cow today.*

The other thing, of course, is SEA FOOD. The Smart Man and I just loves us some sea food (he likes his raw, me, not so much), and we're looking forward to enjoying some while we're there. I'm just a cheap 'ho when it comes to the crab cakes, so hopefully there'll be some in my future.

We'll be live blogging the event, with pictures, for the edification of the UCFers that weren't able to attend. Whee!


*And every day, really, but it would be unkind for you to say so.

Thank You, Captain Obvious

Via DEM, I've been made aware of a new Washington Post Poll showing that 70% of Americans polled don't think Sarah Palin is qualified to be the President.

::gasp!::

Really? Sarah Palin is an unqualified git? WHO KNEW?

Aside from anyone with a modicum of sense and the ability to parse through her retarded rhetoric* to the non-substance beneath, that is.

This is the part I don't really understand about the whole "Tea Party" thing. I can sort of understand their white anger, and the desire to maintain their unearned privilege. I think it's reprehensible and intellectually dishonest, of course, but I kind of understand what they're getting at. No one wants to have their quality of life and privileges reduced, even if it IS the moral and just thing to do. So yeah - I do understand (but don't agree with) their "fuck you, I've got mine" mentality.

What I don't get is how why they chose her. I mean, seriously - I don't think they could have chosen a spokesperson who was stupider, or less educated on the issues, or had fewer substantive ideas on how to address people's concerns. I'm racking my brain, and I honestly can't think of a politician who outdoes her on those points.

"Join the Tea Party! Our de facto leaders are a dumber than a box of rocks quitter and a mental midget comedian who are long on rhetoric and short on ideas and policy! We'll make you feel SMART in comparison!"

Maybe that's the appeal of the whole "everyman" populism. Almost anyone would be a better choice for public office than the public face of this movement, and people support her in a misguided attempt to make themselves feel better about their own worth.


Me? I want a leader who's smarter than me, better educated than me, and has taken the time and made the effort to understand the issues of the day. Plus, they need to actually, you know, HAVE A POLICY PLAN.

Because all that planny, researchy stuff works out just fine for me, thanks.


*See what I did there? SUCK IT, YOU CRAZY, STUPID BITCH.

Get Thee Gone, Evil Weather!

I'm a busy gal this week. This weekend is the Seattle Edition of the UCF-palooza, and the Smart Man and I will be flying out Friday morning to go visit with the lovely Jeri and several other friends from the UCF. So I've been trying to get things resolved at work, get the house cleaned, grocery shop, get laundry done, and get everything ready for my Hot Mom to come down and babsit her Grand-dog, the Incomparable Boogie™. The pre-vacation flurry of activity, so to speak.

So my ability to provide scintillating content is somewhat compromised this week due to a lack of time to develop and research appropriate rants. I'm sure you understand.

However, I'm not too busy to curse and shout about the weather.

The thoughtful Random Michelle and her fabulous Michael have been snowed in, and will not be able to make it to Seattle, and this IRKS ME. Curse you, nature, for your terrible timing and crappy distribution of snowfall! Damn you, weather, for dashing our plans for the largest UCF-palooza EVAH with your interminable need to prove mankind has no control over the elements!

Michelle and Michael, we'll miss you! We'll shake a retributive fist in the general direction of your weather while toasting you with BonBon Bars and Jamesons.

I Likes Me Some Jazz

But Jazz Harp? Yes indeedy. Here's Edmar Castaneda, a native of Columbia, who takes the harp to a whole new level. I saw him on an NPR Vodcast of All Songs Considered, and it's worth a click-through and a listen if you have 15 minutes to spare. 

The Right Thing to Do

I think I'm in love. But in a completely platonic, I-wish-I-had-served-under-you-because-you-rock-the-house and I'm-completely-devoted-to-my-Smart-Man kind of way.

I'm speaking, of course, of Admiral Mike Mullen, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. In testimony to the Senate Armed Forces Committee on February 2nd, Admiral Mullen made the following statement:

Mr. Chairman, speaking for myself and myself only, it is my personal belief that allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly would be the right thing to do. No matter how I look at the issue, I cannot escape being troubled by the fact that we have in place a policy which forces young men and women to lie about who they are in order to defend their fellow citizens. For me, personally, it comes down to integrity -- theirs as individuals and ours as an institution. I also believe that the great young men and women of our military can and would accommodate such a change. I never underestimate their ability to adapt.

Hurray! The highest ranking officer in the Armed Forces makes a definitive statement about the morality and integrity of a policy that has hurt not only the gays and lesbians who have been affected by it, but the Armed Forces as a whole. Admiral Mullen makes the obvious statement (and one I've made myself, and heard other military members make) that he has been serving with homosexuals his whole career. The presence of gay and lesbian service members is the worst kept secret in the military.

Of course, the fact that the CJCS and the SecDef both believe this policy is on the way out does not prevent those who are still frightened of teh Gay from running around naked with their hair on fire. Our old friend Elaine Donnelly is making the rounds of the talk shows, attempting to foment fear and loathing. Ms. Donnelly (who still isn't a veteran but continues to use "we" when discussing issues the military has to manage), considers Admiral Mullen and Secretary Gates' comments "embarrassing." When pressed by the host of NPR's Tell Me More to defend the hypocrisy inherent in excluding gays and lesbians, she danced around the issue with all kinds of logical fallacies. She denied that there are similarities between desegregation and DADT, implying the position is "the weakest argument going," although she couldn't convincingly articulate why the correlation didn't work. In other words, she hasn't changed much since her testimony in front of the House Committee of July of last year.

However, in spite of Ms. Donnelly's obvious homophobia, she does bring up some points that need to be addressed. Sexuality is a fundamental part of our humanity, and making living arrangements for both straight and gay service members might be challenging. Challenging, but not insurmountable, and along with Admiral Mullen, I have confidence the men and women of the military will accommodate the change.

She's also right in saying that there are members of the Armed Forces who will leave the service if this policy changes. Just as there were racists who left the Armed Forces when Truman signed Executive Order 9981 desegregating the Armed Forces in 1948, there will be homophobes who will leave if DADT is repealed. This both matters and doesn't. The military is a very conservative organization, and if significant numbers of people leave due to homophobia, it may negatively affect force readiness as a practical matter. This matters, as we currently have two wars going on, and we need every experienced soldier, sailor, airman and Marine. These members should be encouraged to stay, although it is certainly their right to leave the service if the core values of the organization no longer match their own and their commitment is over.

This type of sea change is never accomplished without resistance and pain. Forcing people to accept the "new normal" will be a long, painful process, and there's no doubt that the Armed Forces will lose some of their institutional memory before it's over. The same happened during desegregation, and when women assumed a more substantial role, and yet we managed to survive and thrive.

The bottom line here is what Admiral Mullen expressed: Forcing citizens of this country to hide who they are in order to serve others is not the position of an organization who aspires to the core principles of Honor, Courage and Commitment. The men and women who want to serve without compromising their identity should be allowed, as a matter of law, to do so without fear. It's the right thing to do.

Whaa...Huh? Part Deux

This is an ad that's playing in California right now, supporting former HP CEO Carly Fiorina, who wants to be a Senator. I have no opinion on whether or not Carly or Tom is a better candidate - I'm neither a Californian or a Republican, so learning about either candidate seems a waste of time for me.

However, this ad is just so bizarre I had to embed it. It's apparently sponsored the FCINO (Fiscal Conservative In Name Only) group, and the strangeness begins at about 2:21. Who thought this was a good idea? Yikes.

Whaa...Huh?

Today I was listening to a Podcast of NPR's show Tell Me More while struggling through my Statistics homework (Continuous Probability Distributions! Sampling Methods! The Central Limit Theorem!). One of Michel Martin's guests was Gayle Haggard, the wife of disgraced evangelical minister Ted Haggard, who was there to talk about her new book, Why I Stayed.

Now let's be clear. I don't give a good goddamn about the Haggard's marriage, who he slept with, what her reaction was, and how they decided to manage the situation, although I will admit to a certain amount of schadenfreude when he was caught with his pants down, so to speak. The reason I don't care is because (surprise!) it's none of my business.

How she chose to manage her life moving forward was a personal choice and since I have no skin in that game, I don't really care what she decides. She wants a divorce? Fine. She wants to hang his cheating ass from the highest yardarm? Go for it. She wants to remain married to the guy and they agree on whatever arrangement makes them happy with help from their faith traditions? Swell.

What gets me wrapped around the axle is the insinuation by both her and her husband that being gay, or being attracted to members of the same sex, is some sort of disease that makes the baby Jesus cry and can be cured by the power of faith.

Unsurprisingly, I disagree.

It's true that we don't have a definitive answer to what causes homosexuality. People have been studying it for years and years, and (again, unsurprisingly), the root cause has eluded researchers. That would be because it's complex. Human sexuality comes in a very broad spectrum, with a large variety of norms. And that variety isn't a recent development - people have been gay for as long as there's been people. For me, and for many people who aren't Leviticans, that implies such a wide spectrum is a natural event. Not to be cured, not to be condemned. It just is.

Which is why I don't understand why people think such things can be "fixed" by the power of the Jeebus. If God and his kin loved us so much, why would They/He want us to suppress who we are in order to conform to some narrow definition of humanity written by men whose understanding of the human condition, evolution, biochemistry, hormones and other contributing factors is less complex than that of the average modern 6th grader?

I know there's plenty of Christians out there who don't look at human sexuality in this way, and I'm glad of it. I just wish they'd be more forceful in condemning the ideas of the Haggards of the world.

Wall of Shame - February 6, 2010

Attention, driver of the new car parked in front of the Parker, CO Safeway at 6:30 p.m. on February 6th, 2010 in the handicapped spot with no placard and no visible sign of a handicap: Being middle aged and moderately overweight is not a "handicap."

But being a presumptive bitch is.


Sorry about the picture quality, folks. My cell takes really crappy pictures at night.

Adventures in Parenthood, In the Navy Edition

So the Smart Boy spent the latter part of last year a bit...adrift. He was a student at one of our local colleges, but the lack of structure just didn't suit his personality type, and to say that he failed to thrive there would be an understatement.

So he spent a large portion of the winter break moping around and trying to decide what he'd like to do with his life. I understand the feeling - trying to find a direction when you don't have a clue as to how you'd like to proceed is disconcerting, at best.

So he finally comes over one day (after hiding out at his father's for weeks) and announces that he's decided to join the Navy.

Hurray! The boy has a plan!*

So in January he went and met with the recruiter, and made arrangements to go downtown to MEPS to take his ASVAB.

His composite score was a 99 out of a possible 99, and he basically qualified for any school he wanted. He chose Advanced Electronics/Computer Field, which is the basic school for both Fire Control Technicians and Electronics Technicians, and he has a go-active date of September 14th, 2010. He wants to be an ET, I think mostly because his dad was one.

Of course, what he would really like is to get into the Nuclear Propulsion program. His ASVAB was sufficiently high to qualify, but his calculus and physics grades in high school were so poor the nuclear recruiter is not very excited to give up a quota to someone he has no guarantee is sufficiently motivated to perform the work. So the Smart Boy is hoping to convince him to give him a chance when the next slot comes open by his diligent participation in Delayed Entry Program (DEP) activities and acing the mathematics pretest for enlisted nukes. I don't know if that will pan out or not, but if it doesn't, he'll still be off to boot camp on September 14th.

Either way, I'm very proud of my Smart Boy for making this decision and doing what needs to be done to become a contributing member of society. Go, Smart Sailor Boy!


*Let me explain. My expectation for my kids has always been fairly simple. I wanted them to have a plan. That plan could be college, trade school, apprenticeship, the military, tech school, whatever. The only thing that wasn't acceptable was living at home for free and working for minimum wage. So my delight in his decision has much more to do with the fact that he actually has a plan than the fact that he chose my military alma mater.

Boogie Blogging Friday, Attack of the Yarn Edition

The other day I was working, and my knitting bag was on a chair next to my desk. The Boogie-Dog came over to say hello, and when next I turned around, he had managed to snag my yarn and get it wrapped around his legs and face.

Silly dog.

A Religious Experience

A couple of weeks ago, I got an e:mail from one of my very favorite confectioners, BonBon Bar. They were running a promotion on a new candy bar. It's the Bourbon Bar, and the proprietress was running a special offer where a percentage of the purchase price went to Haiti relief. Well, far be it from me to stand in the way of charitable contributions - I ordered a three-pack.

Well, they arrived last week, and last night the Smart Man and I shared one after dinner.

ZOMG. THESE CANDY BARS ARE A RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE, EVEN FOR ME, AND YOU NEED TO RUN, DON'T WALK, OVER TO BONBON BARS AND ORDER SOME IMMEDIATELY.

I've always been a fan of BonBon Bars, but I have to say that this one is my new very first favorite.

Yum.

Sixteen Hours...

...of my life I'll never get back.

I'm a huge fan of learning. I love going to college, attending technical classes, and reading about new things.

Hmm...learning.

There is one thing I don't care for, however, and that's what's commonly referred to as "soft skills" training. This can be anything from "customer service skills" to "EEO" to "sales training." All of them have this result with me:

Unfortunately, part of being a corporate shill is that these classes are mandatory at various points. Points like today and tomorrow, where I will be held captive in a corporate conference room for 16 hours of sales training. It's quite possible that I will gnaw off my own leg in order to escape, but I will try and restrain myself in the interests of maintaining a healthy body for our upcoming UCF gathering, Seattle edition. If I show up with a bloody stump, I may get voted off the island.

'Tard of the Week - Amazon

I love my Kindle. I've had it for about a year and a half, and I take it with me whenever I leave the house for any length of time. I subscribe to Newsweek on it. I read all my favorite books on it. I was happy to be a member of the Monopoly that is Amazon/Kindle, because the device served my needs, and Amazon did not make the mistake of acting like a big dick when it came to managing the content and offerings for my device.

Well. Now I have a bad taste in my mouth, and it's really pissing me off.

I'm sure many of you, being readers like me, are following the Amazon/Mcmillan pissing contest. The short version:

Mcmillan: We want you to increase the price of our titles for the Kindle.

Amazon: Fuck off.

*pause while Steve Jobs pokes Mcmillan with an iPad-shaped stick*

Mcmillan: Fuck you, Amazon!

Amazon: No, fuck you, Mcmillan! Our dicks are bigger!

*pause while Amazon pulls Mcmillan titles from the website*

Mcmillan and All Their Friends: Amazon Sucks! Amazon Sucks! Amazon Sucks!

Amazon: No we don't.

Mcmillan and All Their Friends: You do! You do! You do!

Amazon: Okay, we do. We'll kiss and make up.

Except they haven't.

A quick perusal of Amazon indicates they still haven't relisted Mcmillan titles for direct sales, although you can buy them from resellers (thus making sure the authors aren't paid). As you can imagine, this annoys the authors.

I can't believe how incredibly stupid Amazon has been about all this. Aside from the classless way in which they handled the communication surrounding the incident, the entire thing makes me think that Amazon has been taking lessons on corporate governance from that bastion of corporate evil, Wal-Mart. It feels like Amazon was attempting to strong-arm Mcmillan into lowering their profit margin because, well, we're Amazon, and we want you to.

I think it's pretty damn cool that Mcmillan's leadership team told Amazon to get bent and stuck to their guns.

I do expect some savings when I buy a title electronically rather than in book form - after all, there are no raw materials associated with the production of the work. I also don't expect to be able to replicate the file. Some form of DRM is acceptable to me, because I know that even though I would not distribute the file, others don't share my compunction. But Amazon is getting a bit UPPITY about the whole thing.

Make no mistake, Amazon - I won't blink if you continue to act the ass. I'll dump your device like a hot rock and buy a Nook. You've already lost the Smart Man's business as a result of your asinine behavior. You are not ENTITLED to my business. You are not ENTITLED to strong-arm publishers to increase your profit margin at the expense of theirs.  Keep it up, you 'tard. See where it gets you.

Mixed Company

There are certain subjects I won't discuss in mixed company.* I define "mixed company" as any gathering where I believe it's important that people don't get wrapped around the axle as a result of a conversational topic. So pretty much any gathering where there's family, colleagues, or people I don't know very well. The topics I won't discuss should be pretty obvious, too. Religion. Abortion. Most politics. Sex.

I choose not to discuss these subjects for the following reasons:

1. I'm not going to change anyone's mind.
2. It creates bad feelings.
3. I tend to learn things about people that I'd really rather not know.
4. Did I mention that I know I'm not going to change anyone's mind?

I consider my decision not to engage in these topics with these people to be one primarily motivated by consideration. Since I know (I know) I'm not going to change anyone's mind on the subject at hand, I don't see the point in getting everyone up in arms over controversial topics for the sake of argument. It serves no purpose, and since I'm usually the one with the minority opinion, I keep my thoughts to myself for the sake of keeping the peace.

There have been times when I felt that curbing my tongue on these matters was dishonest. That by choosing to remain silent I was somehow betraying my own belief system. As I've grown older, however, I've decided that while I certainly won't allow racist commentary and other foulness to slide by without comment, the rest of it simply isn't worth it. So I maintain the polite fiction that I don't know (for example) YEC fundamentalist Christians think I'm an arrogant jerk for not taking their faith as fact, while they maintain the polite fiction that they don't know I think they're intellectually dishonest goofballs for not taking my facts as...well, facts. We both know it's a fiction - our viewpoints are diametrically opposed. But we let it go in the interest of maintaining the polite facade.

But some people just don't want to leave well enough alone.

I'm not going to make gross generalizations here, but I will ask the question - how come points 1 and 4 above are so obvious to me, yet appear to elude a small subsection of the population?

*********
*Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men is not "mixed company." It's my on-line home, where I am free to share my opinions on a variety of topics, and feel no need to "keep the peace." If you don't want to listen to my screeds, you're free to leave, just as you would be if you visited me in my brick-and-mortar home.

SMBC Fan-Girl

I love Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, and their SMBC Theater is fast becoming the teehee highlight of my week.

Here's the cast of SMBC Theater cast performing "Both Sides."