Link Me Up, Scotty - Opening Your Heart Edition

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

The 2014 Teacher of the Year explains how opening himself for constructive feedback from his students makes him a better teacher and his students more engaged, invested, and successful. Not just for adult/student relationships, I don't think. When I think back on the very best leaders I've seen, they all share this characteristic - the ability to check their egos at the door and act on legitimate feedback from their subordinates in an open and honest way.
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From the "No good deed goes unpunished" file: A neo-conservative German politician (who took part in a neo-Nazi march as recently as January, no less) with anti-immigration positions crashed his car and was unconscious when a mini-van stopped and rendered aid. The rescuers were - wait for it - Syrian refugees. He won't change his mind about their status as "lawless primates," of course. But the rest of us know better.
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I always struggle with whether or not I should give money to panhandlers. Usually I reserve my charitable giving to organizations that help with homelessness and food insecurity, but but this story out of Chicago is making me rethink my position.
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An article on the value of lazy workers. I'm not sure how I feel about this. While I see the value of a "reserve work force" in the ant world, as an over-achiever in the corporate world I mostly just despise those who don't do their fair share. And let's be honest - if you work someplace long enough, everyone knows who the slackers are.
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An interesting take on the cost of toxic workers. Am I the only one who reads articles like this and then immediately starts to analyze my own behavior because they might be talking about me? Bueller?

H/T Megan
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I think most women have had experience with "girls who steal."  But I also hope that most women outgrow the inclination not to drop these people like a hot rock with no feelings of remorse by the time they're grown. Unfortunately, I don't think that's true.
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Video of my Heart: Marine Corps vet testifies for an increase in minimum wage for the working poor. Semper Fi, Marine.


Link Me Up, Scotty - Time Poverty Edition

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Melinda Gates on the concept of time poverty and the role of women in unpaid work. I've heard this referred to in feminist circles as 'emotional labor,' but the concept is the same. Even in enlightened households, women bear a disproportionate percentage of unpaid work.

H/T Brother Steve
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Commentary on the trouble with the Israel/Palestine conflict. The deep-rooted emotional reactions at the heart of the their disagreement take a sustained, consistent application of will to change. And I don't see that either side has that will.

H/T Brother Steve
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The CIA is hiring...librarians. In context this makes perfect sense. The core of intelligence operations is information, and librarians excel at information management. It just struck my funny bone.

H/T NeuronDoc
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My platonic celebrity boyfriend Matt Taibbi on why young people love Bernie and don't support Hillary.

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This article written by the sister of someone who lost their life to depression and suicide made me cry. I, too, will tell the truth.
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Video of my Heart: A story about horses, the inner city, and hope and redemption.

H/T Brother Juan


Random Thoughts and Rules to Live By, Part 9

Friday, March 25, 2016

Cherish my ever-changing tribe, in all its diversity.

Link Me Up, Scotty - Are You Fucking Kidding Me Edition

Thursday, March 24, 2016

A good description about why so many women engage in Bitch Face when in public spaces that contain men who are strangers to them. The money quote:
...no matter what I accomplish or how self-assured I am feeling, the aforementioned dickhead bouncers of the world will still believe they have a right to demand my time and attention, even when I want to be alone.
And I would add: They often also think they have the right to touch me without my permission, and that my refusal to be touched is indicative of a problem with me, rather than a problem with them.
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It's time to close the TSA. Yes. $7 billion worth of security theater is money better spent elsewhere. Anywhere, in fact.
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The Smithsonian's Annual Photography Contest winners.
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Do you job, Republican Senators. Because I'm pretty sure "I don't feel like it" would not be an acceptable reason in any of the jobs I've ever had.

H/T Brother Steve
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Sarah Palin is going to have her own courtroom based reality show. Yeah. I've sworn off politics for the moment, so I'll just leave that right there.
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A woman talks about the need to share without shame the pain of suicide loss. I will not be silenced on this issue. My baby girl died of mental illness, and framing the conversation in those terms leads to solutions and help, while shame leads to worse outcomes for everyone.

Link Me Up, Scotty - Let's Grow Together Edition

Saturday, March 19, 2016
How adults can encourage kids to be original thinkers. We never had to encourage Moe to be a non-conformist (far from it), and the Smart Son has also grown into an original thinker as an adult. From our perspective, the more important skill has always been to learn to be a critical thinker.
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Riding side-saddle is becoming popular again. When I was a youngster, I learned to do this as part of my participation in a youth riding group, and I'm telling you - it is hard. Keeping a balanced seat when you're not square with the horse takes practice and skill.
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Lloyd Alexander's Prydain books were the stories that REALLY turned me into a reader. Which is why when Disney fucked up their movie adaptation I was Not Happy. But now it appears they'll get another chance. I hope they get it right this time.
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Examples of evolution on our VERY OWN BODIES.
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Why Komodo Dragons are like the entire cat family. No, they are - really.
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National Geographic photographer Joel Sartore is creating a "Photo Ark" to document the world's biodiversity. Here's a sample.
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Eight ways to survive and thrive in our middle years. So, so many things to think about and put into action here.

H/T Brother Steve
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One girl wearing whatever the hell she wants, and encouraging others to do the same.
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A fascinating conversation about body image with the President and Misty Copeland.
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When I meet with customers, I never wear jeans. For myself, it's because I don't want to have such a familiar relationship with them. But it also turns out that dressing formally puts me at an advantage in such circumstances, too.

Random Thoughts and Rules to Live By, Part 8

Friday, March 18, 2016

Impatience is often at the root of unkindness.

12 Days of New Year's - Being a Better Friend

Thursday, March 17, 2016

One of the things that allowed me to survive the death of my child was the incredible love and support of my family-by-choice. Through the worst days of my life, these people were here, in ways large and small, checking on me, crying with me, and in many cases, being very afraid for me and my ability to recover. Simply put, I would not have survived without them.

So this year, one of my goals is to be a better friend to those who were such good friends to me.

To be clear, I don't think I'm a bad friend. If I was, the amazingly high quality people in my life would have kicked me to the curb many years ago. But I think I could do better.

The last several years have found me living inside my head quite a lot. This is normal for an introvert, I think, but in my case I think it's prevented me from being as mindful as I'd wish when it comes to being "present" for the people I care about. On more than one occasion, I've embarrassed myself by not asking about emerging issues that my friends were facing, or being "out of the loop" when I should have been in the thick of things in terms of providing support and care. I find this very disturbing, because in addition to being extremely grateful for the care I've received and feeling an obligation to reciprocate, I genuinely want to help those I love.

So this year, I will make an effort to be more mindful, more aware, and more present for the people in my life to whom I owe so much, and who gave so generously to me in the worst time of my life. I can never repay them, but I can work to be my best self, and the best friend, I can be.

Link Me Up, Scotty - Let's Feel Good Edition

Monday, March 14, 2016

Francois Clemmons on what it meant to play Officer Clemmons on Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. In his way, Fred Rogers was one of the greatest human beings of his generation.
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California will permit medically assisted suicide starting in June. I know this is a controversial subject, but I hope the rest of the United States follows suit. We live far too long from a "quality of life" perspective, and I want there to be options for dying with dignity when my time comes.
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Reality show winner chooses to use his good fortune to feed the homeless. Respect.
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Orioles catcher shows some generosity and humility during Spring training.
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This "mutual rescue story" of a man named Eric and his rescue pooch Peety made my eyes leak.
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Penguin swims 5,000 miles a year to hang out with the man who saved his life.
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Military dogs are now guaranteed a ride a home to U.S. soil when they retire, and their handlers will get first crack at adopting them. Because they're good, good dogs.

H/T Karen
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Video of my Heart: The Tiny Desk Concert annual contest winner played at Bob Boylen's desk, with amazing results:


An Open Letter to my Fellow Liberals

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Last night, a political rally for Donald Trump was cancelled in Chicago over safety concerns. This is not okay.

I've heard the arguments that Trump has set the tenor for these rallies, and encouraged violence against protesters. That his speech is harmful, encouraging xenophobia, racism and violence. That he's responsible for the escalating violence at his events, because you reap what you sow. And those arguments are correct on every point.

And they're also completely irrelevant.

Just because I disagree with someone does not mean they should not be allowed to speak. Just because someone's ideas offend my sensibilities on a fundamental level does not mean they should not be allowed to express them. Just because someone lies their ass off whenever they open their mouth does not mean they should be shut down.

The ability to compete in the marketplace of ideas is a fundamental American value. The ability to assemble within the bounds of the law is guaranteed by our Constitution. And it is beneath us, SO FAR BENEATH US, to try and prevent someone from doing these things because their message or their person is offensive.

People have agency. They can choose to engage in violence, xenophobia, and racism. Or they can choose to reject those ideas. The very idea that a group of people should be able to prevent someone from expressing their ideas in order to protect the audience from themselves offends me so much I can't even express it.

Trump is a bigot, a misogynist, the very epitome of unearned privilege. He's incredibly manipulative, tapping into the very real economic anger and veiled racism of lower and middle class white people in order to feed his own ravenous ego. He's an embarrassment, to our country, to our political system, to our population. He's not qualified for the job he wants, not even on his best day with a whole team of experts at his beck and call. He's a sociopath, who will drive our country into a new era of Jim Crow (or worse) if he's elected.

And he has the right to assemble and express his ideas. 

Preventing him from doing so is a cure worse than the disease.

Random Thoughts and Rules to Live By, Part 7

Friday, March 11, 2016

There's nothing like a tragedy to reset my priorities and my perspective. 

Link Me Up,Scotty - Failure of Compassion Edition

Thursday, March 10, 2016

This narrative about what it's like to be a morbidly obese passenger on an airplane broke my heart. As a former frequent flyer, I have struggled with my own failure of compassion when being crowded out of my seat by an obese seat-mate. This usually happens when I'm extremely tired, or cranky, or having uncontrolled anxiety. And then I feel terrible about it for weeks after, with no way to apologize for my inner thoughts and feelings.

H/T Debbie the Librarian
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Photographs of Svalbard. I would love to visit this place.
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The Bloggess' rules on social media etiquette. Because nothing says "well reasoned and emotionally balanced human being with a healthy sense of proportion" like this: 
If strangers online disagree with you, devote your day to yelling at them and getting everyone you know to yell at them as well. Don’t just unfollow them. Track them down and destroy them. Put your entire life on hold to focus on all-caps fights with them. It’s pretty much the written equivalent of public scream-crying and people fucking LOVE that.
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The Virginia Tech Basketball Coach decided that the young men who played for him needed a little lesson in humility.

H/T Sister Jenn
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This woman's open letter to the people who helped her in the worst moment of her life is haunting me.
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I have to go to the dentist 4 times a year, and thankfully our family dentist is trustworthy. Because damn. 
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The myth of gender equality

Link Me Up, Scotty - Finding Our Roots Edition

Monday, March 7, 2016

African women participate in a photo shoot in the traditional clothing of their people. Beautiful.
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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal with a completely plausible idea for keeping the stupid out of politics.
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DARPA is working on brain implants for cyborg soldiers. This sounds far scarier than it is, I think.

H/T Brother Steve
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A Supreme Court decision in 1927 led to 70K forced sterilizations. Again - white dudes and women's bodies. Really?
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Video of my Heart: The Perfect Monday morning pick-me-up. Meghan Trainor sings Better When I'm Dancing from the Peanuts Movie.

H/T Ginger


Random Thoughts and Words to Live By, Part 6

Friday, March 4, 2016

Sometimes people judge me harshly and find me wanting, and it's a signal for me to examine and change my behavior.

Link Me Up,Scotty - And the Wonders to Behold Edition

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Astronaut Scott Kelly spent a year in space, and shared his photography with the world. Amazing.
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How to tell a raven from a crow. Birds kind of freak me out a little (evolved dinosaurs!), but I think crows and ravens are the BOMB.
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If out-of-office responses were honest. I myself fall into the "organized person" category.
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There is a Snoopy remote control doghouse drone available for sale. I feel like I need this in my life, but not for over $700.
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Honest corporate PSAs.
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Brother Eric apologizes for being the proximate cause of the Donald Trump phenomenon. Because he's a liberal, you see. 
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Video of my Heart: Lake Street Dive performs on NPR's Tiny Desk Concert with pretty stunning results. I immediately went and bought Side Pony after watching this. Because, DAMN.


Link Me Up, Scotty - Agency Matters Edition

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

In a recent study, girls are found to experience more stress than boys when asked to play violent video games. But not for the reason you think. No wonder Miltown addiction was so common before feminism.

H/T Debbie the Librarian
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The most hilarious and spot-on review if that piece of shit Gods of Egypt EVER. Scott Woods is my new semi-celebrity platonic boyfriend. The money quote(s):
For the record, I’m going to spoil the shit out of this movie because a) you have no business seeing it even for free, and b) fuck this movie.
This is so much worse than a film filled with white Egyptians because what you end up with is scene after scene of white people literally towering (the gods are all digitally portrayed as being over nine feet tall) over masses of brown and black people, worshipped as divine and omnipotent beings. It was like seeing a bar chart of power dispersion on a slave plantation. All the whites loom and soar and speak, while all of the non-white people bend and work and worship at their feet.
Also? Chadwick Boseman should have known better.  
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Ex-CIA Chief notes that much of Donald Trump's campaign language would constitute unlawful orders were he to try and execute on his desires from the Oval Office. Because planning on becoming a war criminal before you're even elected is the new Republican platform.
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A stunning photography project surrounding self-love and the role our bodies play in that love. Non-titillating nude photography, so probably NSFW if you work for an uptight company.
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A breakdown of Super Tuesday, and why margins matter. I'll be caucusing this evening with the Democrats, even though I self-identify as an Independent. As a friend noted over on Facebook,
To me, this one is the more important day than November, because whoever wins the Dem nom is whoever I will vote for then. I really hope the Republican Party finishes imploding before the next election so that a second rational party can finally come into existence and start putting up candidates worth serious consideration again.
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Video of my Heart: Trumped, brought to you by Jimmy Kimmel: