Why I Run

Monday, April 29, 2013
It's been almost a year since I started running. The beginning was basically an accident. We were visiting my Smart BIL and his amazing family, and I was going for a walk as part of my health and fitness plan. Because they live at sea level, I was having trouble getting my heart rate above 100, so on a whim I decided to see if I could run for 15 minutes, walk for 15. Turns out I could, and so I started incorporating running into my plan.

Over the last year, I've increased my distance steadily, and ran my first 5k last year in support of the Wounded Warrior Project. I currently run 3 times a week for a total of 20 miles and hope to run in my first 10K this summer.

For those who have known me for many years, this turn of events seems more than a little strange. I've always despised running, so much so that I would train for and do the optional swim for my Navy Physical Readiness Test (purported to be harder than the run) just so I'd never have to run. And yet, here I am.

Over the last decade or so, I've been pretty conscientious about exercising. It controls my depression without my having to resort to medication, and once I found out that cardiovascular exercise in middle age and a decreased risk of senile dementia in old age were correlated, I was even more committed. But I always preferred walking, or the elliptical, or the arc trainer. And I still do those things, on the four days a week I don't run, or when logistics prevent me from running outside or on the track. But nothing gets my heart rate up like running, or burns more calories.

But that's not why I do it.

I run because even though I suck at it, even though I'm slow as shit and my form is bad, it makes me feel strong. I can run for eight miles without stopping, and on good days, when my legs feel good and my breathing is steady, I feel like I can run forever.

As a youngster, I was never one of the athletic kids. I was never picked for sports teams. I was always kind of bottom heavy and had short legs, and my complete lack of anything resembling coordination made me a poor choice for those endeavors. And I was made acutely aware of these "shortcomings," just like every unathletic kid in the history of the world. Thus physical activity became a source of pain for me, a place where I was compared to my peers and always found wanting.

But I'm older now, and the weight I put on comparing my physical performance with others' is pretty minimal. And removing that internal barrier has set me free. When I run, I take pleasure in my strength, in my body, in the simple fact of my own locomotion. It brings me joy, to know my body works in this fundamental way, and that I'm using it to do the work for which it evolved.

I'm strong when I run. I can feel my lungs, my heart, my muscles and bones working together to propel me forward. And that makes me grateful.

8 comments:

mattw said...

I keep thinking about running. I could certainly stand to lose weight. I kind of started to last year and then stopped. This makes me want to try to take it up again.

The Mechanicky Gal said...

"...complete lack of anything resembling coordination..." made me laugh. Just this weekend we were getting rid of the Notorious Stumps from the yard, and I was telling Frank about the "Lounger Incident". We laughed about that, too.
Love!

Anne C. said...

Despite the fact that I can't run 8 miles, this is exactly the reason I enjoy it. My body feels like a machine that is working well even though I'm pretty sure this applies to me.

Strong and capable. That's where I want to get back to.

John the Scientist said...

So. The freeze-dried whackaloon I live with is thinking of running this thing.

Are you up for training for a loooooong run? :D

Carol Elaine said...

John, I think the person you mention might need professional help. That race is CARAYZEE. And I'm not just saying that because I'm of the "I'm only running if I'm being chased by a bear" mentality.

Janiece said...

John, that's just never going to happen. Seriously, what's wrong with that woman?

Anne C. said...

I'm just glad that she and John are married. They suit each other very well.

John the Scientist said...

Yes, Janeice does repeat hat "what's wrong?" line a lot for both of us, doesn't she? :D