The Worst Job in the World

Today's "Worst Job in the World" award just has to go to the PR department of Abercrombie & Fitch.

Can you imagine being responsible for damage control every time that douchecanoe Mike Jeffries opens his mouth? Trying to mop up this dude's mess has to be right up there with New York Rat Catcher or Leech Farmer.

The most recent contretemps, of course, surround his egregious "fat-shaming" comments about why A&F won't offer women's pants in a size higher than a ten. Because all you Fatty McFattersons who wear an enormous size twelve JUST AREN'T COOL ENOUGH FOR ABERCROMBIE & FITCH.

Explaining this shit to the public just CAN'T be easy:

"We're sorry our CEO is a reprehensible choad with no redeeming social qualities whatsoever."

"We regret our CEO's unfortunate comments regarding 'cool kids.' He has brain damage from repeated noogies when he was a child, and isn't responsible for his actions."

"Abercrombie & Fitch would like to publicly apologize for our complete lack of compassion, understanding, inclusion, and redeeming social value in the marketplace."

"We just suck. And we intend to continue to suck. And we'll continue to be successful at it, too."

That last one is just fucking depressing. And also, unfortunately, true.

Burden or Blessing

I was having a conversation with my very favorite Auntie the other night, and we were discussing how different people approach life in different ways. We decided that there are two kinds of people in this world: Those who consider their life a blessing, and those who consider it a burden.

People who fall on the "blessing" side of the fence look at their time on this earth as something to be savored, a gift to be appreciated and enjoyed. They may not feel that way every day, of course - everyone has days where they feel like they just have to get through the day so they can go on to the next. But they don't consider every day in that light, and instead take joy in the aspects of their life that give them pleasure.

Not so the "burden" folks.

These people consider each and every day something to be endured, something that must be suffered in order to get to...I don't know what. A day that might suck less? A time in their life where things will be "different?" Some sort of game-changing event that will suddenly bring them the opportunity not to consider their lot in life to be survived, but not enjoyed?

In my never-ending (and often futile) quest to be a better human being, I've been thinking about this matter, and how much of a difference this can make in my future happiness. There have certainly been times in my life that had to be "endured," but I don't want my ENTIRE LIFE to feel that way. I want to be able to celebrate each and every day of my life (even the sucky ones). I want to have an attitude that allows me to see the world - and my place in it - as the blessing it truly is.

Because I'm naturally kind of snotty and sarcastic, this requires work. But I've decided that it's work worth doing, because I believe the end result will be a life that brings joy rather a life weighed down with burdens.

Free Shit Friday - Blueberry Lemonade Jam

Today's Free Shit Friday offering is a pint of Blueberry Lemonade jam, now with more lemony flavor (due to popular demand).

da Rules.

A Tree Grows for Boogie

When we lost our Beloved Boogie last Thanksgiving, my amazing and loving Blog Circle, The UCF, wanted to help us memorialize him in some way. So they ordered a tree in his name, to be delivered in the Spring in time for planting.

This is Boogie's Tree, a flowering Dogwood. It arrived when I was in Virginia, and got slightly dry in the box awaiting my return. But it's now planted in our back yard, in its own little berm, receiving all the care we can muster. We're not particularly skilled in caring for plant life, but we'll do our very best to ensure that Boogie's Tree has a long and healthy life.

Thank you, friends, for understanding how very much he meant to us, and helping us to celebrate his life.

Sticking up for the Tea Party

The end-times must surely be upon us, for I agree with Glenn Beck. 

It turns out that during the 2012 election the IRS was unfairly delaying or denying tax-exempt status for groups that applied with "Tea Party" or "Patriot" in their names. The next day, it then came to light that the IRS knew they were engaging in this grossly inappropriate behavior - and did next to nothing to correct the problem.

I've been following the scandal via Outside the Beltway, and there are plenty of liberal and conservative media outlets and blogs who are writing about the legalities of the situation, so I'll not do that here.


It's no secret how I feel about the so-called "Tea Party" and it's so-called "Patriotic" affiliates. I think that much of their rhetoric and vitriol is inspired by racism.I think the vast majority of the membership is being manipulated by big money, and they're too stupid to realize it. I think they're intellectually dishonest and lack anything resembling self examination. In short, I think their very presence in public life lowers the IQ of the country and their pandering to the lowest common denominator of American life makes me apoplectic with rage.

Which means I might be inclined to chortle softly in self-satisfaction at the hand they've been dealt by the IRS, right? Wrong. I feel compelled to speak about this matter, and speak on behalf of the Tea Party.

Here's the thing about that pesky "rule of law" we liberals are always nattering on about: It must apply to everyone, equally, or it means nothing. This means that not only my group gets a fair shake - all groups must get the same treatment. It means that when a government agency abuses their power and imposes bureaucratic burdens on an unpopular movement, they should be called out, held accountable, and heads should roll, REGARDLESS of which side of the political aisle is affected. 

Because, you see, you never know when your group or movement might be the "unpopular" one, and be subject to the same abuse of power.

Accountability matters. When the government is involved, it matters even more. People should lose their jobs over this. And don't forget to stock up for the impending Apocalypse.

Free Shit Friday - Sugar-Free Raspberry Jam

Today's Free Shit Friday giveaway is a pint of Sugar-Free Raspberry jam made with Splenda.

This is my first foray into sugar-free jam. I did taste the result, and while it doesn't taste like the sugared stuff, it was pretty tasty.

da Rules.

Rules for Life

So The Bloggess posted her "Rules for Life" the other day, and like most of the stuff she writes, it was awesome. And more than little weird. Because that's just how she rolls.

But it got me to thinking - we should all have "Rules for Life" as a way to focus our desires for ourselves, and to remind us of the person we aspire to be. Writing them down provides us with a yardstick on which to judge our behavior.

So at the risk of participating in a meme, here are Janiece's Rules for Life. Some of these I shamelessly stole, and some not. Either way, they're mine now, because you can never have too many people who think "Don't be a dick" is a good rule to live by.

1. Don't be a dick.

2. Surround myself with people who are fucking awesome, and think I'm fucking awesome, too. Life's too short to spend time with people who make me feel bad.

3. Identify those limited number of people for whom I'd go to the ends of the earth, and then treat them accordingly. 

4. Take care of my body. I may get sick anyway, but I'll feel better in the meantime. 

5. Do work I care about, or I'll feel like I'm spending half my waking hours on soul-sucking banalities. 

6. Stand up to bullies.

7. Be a good friend to my spouse, my family, my friends.

8. Maintain a level of intellectual honesty in my life. This means accepting facts that are contrary to my opinion, and then changing my mind if it's warranted. 

9. Defend the weak. 

10. Teach the weak how to defend themselves. 

11. Get over myself. I'm not the only competent person in the room. 

12. Read. 

13. Be generous. Every act of generosity makes the world a better place to live, and makes me a better person. 

14. Try to look at the world through someone else's lens. Not everyone's experience is that of a privileged, middle class pasty white girl. And reminding myself of this fact gives me a more accurate perception of reality.

15. Be kind to animals. Note: Humans are animals.

16. Think about how my behavior and my words affect others, whether I like them or not. 

17. Don't give in to fear. That way lies madness.

18. Write thank you notes. On paper. With my hand.

19. Forgive myself, but only if I'm ready and committed to change the behavior requiring forgiveness.

20. Don't be a dick.