The Worst Job in the World

Today's "Worst Job in the World" award just has to go to the PR department of Abercrombie & Fitch.

Can you imagine being responsible for damage control every time that douchecanoe Mike Jeffries opens his mouth? Trying to mop up this dude's mess has to be right up there with New York Rat Catcher or Leech Farmer.

The most recent contretemps, of course, surround his egregious "fat-shaming" comments about why A&F won't offer women's pants in a size higher than a ten. Because all you Fatty McFattersons who wear an enormous size twelve JUST AREN'T COOL ENOUGH FOR ABERCROMBIE & FITCH.

Explaining this shit to the public just CAN'T be easy:

"We're sorry our CEO is a reprehensible choad with no redeeming social qualities whatsoever."

"We regret our CEO's unfortunate comments regarding 'cool kids.' He has brain damage from repeated noogies when he was a child, and isn't responsible for his actions."

"Abercrombie & Fitch would like to publicly apologize for our complete lack of compassion, understanding, inclusion, and redeeming social value in the marketplace."

"We just suck. And we intend to continue to suck. And we'll continue to be successful at it, too."

That last one is just fucking depressing. And also, unfortunately, true.

'Tard of the Week - Congressman Paul Broun

The despair built up until my head exploded. Messy.

A direct quote from the good Congressman, who happens to be a member of the House Science Committee:

All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and the Big Bang Theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of Hell. And it’s lies to try to keep me and all the folks who were taught that from understanding that they need a savior...You see, there are a lot of scientific data that I’ve found out as a scientist that actually show that this is really a young Earth. I don’t believe that the Earth’s but about 9,000 years old. I believe it was created in six days as we know them. That’s what the Bible says."

This kind of mind-numbing stupidity is why when I hear people complain about how the United States is in decline economically, scientifically, technologically, I can't help but think - we totally deserve it. This chucklehead is claiming to be "scientist" (he's an M.D., which in my experience is not necessarily synonymous with "scientist") while simultaneously denying almost every scientific discipline in favor of his non-historical spiritual text. The amount of intellectual dishonesty required to maintain this level of cognitive dissonance is simply stunning. And not only do we continue to elect him and his ilk to positions of responsibility, we give them and their crazy-ass ideas a place at the House Science Committee table.

Really, America? Really? Perhaps the 'Tard of the Week shouldn't be Representative Broun, but the constituents who voted him into office.

_____________
H/T to Bad Astronomy and Outside the Beltway. Or perhaps I should give them a smack, instead, for raising my blood pressure so early on a Saturday morning.

Special Edition - 'Tard of the Week: Kirk Cameron

You know, I can think lots and lots of reasons why Kirk Cameron is a complete assbite with no critical thinking skills whatsoever. The whole Ray Comfort-banana imbroglio. The Left Behind movies. His inability to accept empirical reality when it conflicts with his religion.

But now I think he's just a DOUCHE. Because apparently he feels that he's completely qualified to not only question the ideas of one of the greatest scientific thinkers of our time, but also to whine about how it's so unfair that Dr. Hawking is untouchable because of his physical disability.

Evidently Cameron, who "graduated with honors" from, you know, high school, feels that his ideas are much more worthy of consideration than Dr. Hawking's. He proves HOW VERY EDUCATED AND INFORMED he is in the following statement:

"He has an unfair disadvantage, and that gives him a free pass on some of his absurd ideas. Professor Hawking is heralded as 'the genius of Britain,' yet he believes in the scientific impossibility that nothing created everything and that life sprang from non-life."

No, I didn't make that shit up. It's a direct quote.

It's a SCIENTIFIC IMPOSSIBILITY. Because KIRK CAMERON, HIGH SCHOOL HONOR GRADUATE SAYS SO. And they try to claim that Atheists are arrogant. ::snort::

Dude makes me so happy I'm an Atheist. We have asswipes in our ranks, as well, but at least we don't have to lay claim to the likes of him. 'Tard.

Suck It, Wagner

As you all may know, the UCF has been following the antics of one Walter L. Wagner for quite some time. His incredible litigiousness is like a train wreck - I just can't look away.

Well, his latest frivolous lawsuit was an appeal at the United States District Court to stop the operation of the LHC (which has, incidentally, been quietly colliding its particles for months with no discernible ill effects to the world-as-we-know-it) on the grounds that it is DANGEROUS and MUST BE STOPPED before it creates micro black holes and SWALLOWS THE EARTH, O NOES.

The judge has ruled, and amazingly enough, it turns out ole Wally was wrong. AGAIN.

According to the decision,

Wagner cannot demonstrate that he has standing. A plaintiff alleging a procedural injury, such as Wagner, must still establish injury in fact. See Laub v. U.S. Dep’t. of Interior, 342 F.3d 1080, 1086 (9th Cir. 2003). Injury in fact requires some “credible threat of harm.” Cent. Delta Water Agency v. United States, 306 F.3d 938, 950 (9th Cir. 2002). At most, Wagner has alleged that experiments at the Large Hadron Collider (the “Collider”) have “potential adverse consequences.” Speculative fear of future harm does not constitute an injury in fact sufficient to confer standing. Mayfield, 599 F.3d at 970.

Even if Wagner has demonstrated injury in fact, he nevertheless fails to satisfy the causality or redressability prongs set out in Lujan. The European Center for Nuclear Research (“CERN”) proposed and constructed the Collider, albeit with some U.S. government support. The U.S. government enjoys only observer status on the CERN council, and has no control over CERN or its operations. Accordingly, the alleged injury, destruction of the earth, is in no way attributable to the U.S. government’s failure to draft an environmental impact statement.

CERN maintains total ownership, management, and operational control of the Collider. CERN has never been properly served, and is not a party to this case. Even if this court were to render a decision in Wagner’s favor, such a decision would have no impact on CERN or Collider operations, and would not afford Wagner the relief he seeks. [[Because our determination of standing is not dependent on the identity of the Appellant, we need not address whether Luis Sancho is a party to this appeal.]]

Yeah. The court has determined that not only does the U.S. District Court have no authority to tell a European entity what it can and cannot do, it also has determined that Wagner's Chicken-Little "speculative fear" has no standing.

I'M SHOCKED. SHOCKED, I TELL YOU.

Who could have guessed that Walter L. Wagner's personal crusade to shut down the LHC to protect us from the Black Holes (o noes) would end in an ignominious dismissal? Besides everyone but Wagner, I mean.

___________
H/T to Dr. Phil, who is an ACTUAL PHYSICIST. With a Ph.D. In PHYSICS. Unlike some other people we could name...

'Tard of the Week - Democrats

I may bash the right on a fairly regular basis, but really - they don't have a corner on the market when it comes stupid ideas and an inability to be forthright.

Case in point: The Democrats' phenomenally retarded idea for "biometric employment verification" to get a handle on the illegal hiring of illegal immigrants. As noted by celebrity seraglio candidate Ezra Klein over at the Washington Post, what this really means is a biometric national ID card, and no amount of wiggling and mealy-mouthed explanations on the part of the Dems is going to change that. 

I'm kind of opposed to a national ID card on principle, and a biometric ID card gives me the shivers. Of course, it could just be political posturing, with no intention on the part of the Dems to actually follow through. Shocking, I know - that an American political party would try to manipulate the system in such a way.

Cynical...who, me?

Congratulations, Dems, you get to join the right as a Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men 'Tard of the Week.

Well, Shut My Mouth

I find I am pleasantly surprised at Senator Ashburn's honesty.

Good luck to him in his future endeavors, and I hope he finds a way to deal with his identity and his own feelings about it.

'Tard of the Week - Sheriff Larry Deen

I swear I couldn't make this shit up. It really just writes itself.

This week's 'tard is the Sheriff of Bossier Parish in Louisiana, Larry Deen. He's VITALLY CONCERNED about the safety of his Parish should disaster strike. So he has undertaken to protect his Parish with the stupidest idea in the history of the world: The Operation Exodus Emergency Plan. From the news release:

Operation Exodus, will provide for self-sufficiency in the event of a manmade or natural disaster or a terrorist attack. Exodus will take local volunteers, train them and use them in response to a catastrophic disaster in the area. These volunteers will work in conjunction with the Bossier Sheriff’s Office to secure and protect viable resources in such an event.

The won't be working to secure and protect "unviable" resources, though.

According to Sheriff Deen, "homegrown terrorists are in our midst," and so he needs to arm and train his homegrown militia in order to make the good citizens of Bossier Parish feel safe.

According to Rachel Maddow's March 3rd report on the group, 195 of the 200 "volunteers" for this little group are white. White men, and if the video from their "training" is any indication, they're mostly old white men with potbellies, and their hand-to-hand training could take some tips from the kiddy class at the local Tai Kwan Do dojo. See the photo on the right? The U.S. Census indicates approximately 21% of the population Bossier Parish are black, but apparently they're not invited to this little (tea) party.

Here's the most unbelievable part of the story - TRMS and TPM reports that these redneck chuckleheads are being issued shotguns, riot shields, batons, and have a .50 caliber machine gun mounted onto a vehicle they refer to as "The War Wagon." Because nothing says "civil law enforcement" like a .50 caliber machine gun, a gun that was specifically designated as an anti-equipment weapon by the Geneva Convention before it became a "guideline" rather than an international treaty on the behavior of nations at war.

Where, exactly, does a podunk Sheriff's department get a .50 caliber machine gun? And how, exactly, does mounting such a weapon on a "War Wagon," (presumably Cousin Beauregard's 1985 Ford Pickup) constitute an appropriate law enforcement activity?

And while we're at it, I'm QUITE SURE that the 21% of the citizens of Bossier Parish who can't be categorized as "patriotic members of Operation Exodus," i.e., people of color, are going to feel MUCH, MUCH SAFER knowing that all these mullet haired yahoo's are ON THE JOB, YESSIREE, BOB.

What the fuck was Sheriff Deen thinking? Not only is he intentionally isolating the people of color in his community, he's setting up a situation in his Parish that has the potential, even the LIKELIHOOD of getting completely out of control. And when you throw a .50 caliber machine gun into that mix, no good will come of this. No good at all.

Fucking 'tard.

'Tard of the Week - Terry Naugle

Terry Naugle likes to drink. He likes to drink a lot. In fact, he likes to drink so much, that he's been convicted of driving under the influence of alcohol 68 times since 1974.

I swear I'm not making that up.

So a judge in Nova Scotia finally decided that he'd had enough. On Feb 12, Provincial Court Judge Frank Hoskins sentenced Naugle to eight and a half years in prison and banned him from driving for life. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy - can you imagine how many times this fucknut was out driving drunk when the police didn't catch him? Good riddance to bad rubbish, and all that.

Well, Mr. Naugle has decided that he wants to appeal the judgment. Because it's so harsh, you see. After all, he's been given a consecutive sentence in addition to the maximum sentence of five years. 

Poor, poor Mr. Naugle. It's just SO UNFAIR. 

Fucking 'tard.


Turn of the wheel to @GoddessGeek.

'Tard of the Week - South Dakota Legislature

We've already established that I don't want to live in South Dakota, and to be fair, they probably don't want a liberal rabble-rouser like myself, either, so it's all good.

But in spite of this "live and let live" point of view, I really do have to point and laugh at their Resolution 1009, "A CONCURRENT RESOLUTION, Calling for balanced teaching of global warming in the public schools of South Dakota."

::snirk::

Check out this language:

WHEREAS, the earth has been cooling for the last eight years despite small increases in anthropogenic carbon dioxide; and

WHEREAS, there is no evidence of atmospheric warming in the troposphere where the majority of warming would be taking place; and

WHEREAS, historical climatological data shows without question the earth has gone through trends where the climate was much warmer than in our present age. The Climatic Optimum and Little Climatic Optimum are two examples. During the Little Climatic Optimum, Erik the Red settled Greenland where they farmed and raised dairy cattle. Today, ninety percent of Greenland is covered by massive ice sheets, in many places more than two miles thick; and

WHEREAS, the polar ice cap is subject to shifting warm water currents and the break-up of ice by high wind events. Many oceanographers believe this to be the major cause of melting polar ice, not atmospheric warming; and

WHEREAS, carbon dioxide is not a pollutant but rather a highly beneficial ingredient for all plant life on earth. Many scientists refer to carbon dioxide as "the gas of life"; and

WHEREAS, more than 31,000 American scientists collectively signed a petition to President Obama stating: "There is no convincing scientific evidence that human release of carbon dioxide, or methane, or other greenhouse gasses is causing or will, in the foreseeable future, cause catastrophic heating of the earth's atmosphere and disruption of the earth's climate. Moreover, there is substantial scientific evidence that increases in atmospheric carbon dioxide will produce many beneficial effects on the natural plant and animal environments of the earth":

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED, by the House of Representatives of the Eighty-fifth Legislature of the State of South Dakota, the Senate concurring therein, that the South Dakota Legislature urges that instruction in the public schools relating to global warming include the following:

            (1)    That global warming is a scientific theory rather than a proven fact;

            (2)    That there are a variety of climatological, meteorological, astrological, thermological, cosmological, and ecological dynamics that can effect world weather phenomena and that the significance and interrelativity of these factors is largely speculative; and

            (3)    That the debate on global warming has subsumed political and philosophical viewpoints which have complicated and prejudiced the scientific investigation of global warming phenomena; and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that the Legislature urges that all instruction on the theory of global warming be appropriate to the age and academic development of the student and to the prevailing classroom circumstances.

Because, really - nothing says effective political leadership like outright falsehoods about verifiable facts, using words completely out of context and generally sticking your fingers in your ears in an attempt to pander to your economic masters.

But the best part? The VERY BEST PART? That's the part where they say "there are a variety of climatological, meteorological, astrological, thermological, cosmological, and ecological dynamics that can effect world weather phenomena and that the significance and interrelativity of these factors is largely speculative;" (emphasis mine).

DUDE! THE WORLD IS GETTING WARMER BECAUSE MERCURY IS IN RETROGRADE!

HAHAHAHAHA!

How incompetent - or stupid - or both - do you have to be to make such a fundamental mistake in language? Stupid enough to be Representatives Kopp, Bolin, Brunner, Cronin, Curd, Feickert, Gosch, Greenfield, Hamiel, Hoffman, Hunt, Iron Cloud III, Jensen, Juhnke, Kirkeby, Lange, Lederman, Moser, Novstrup (David), Olson (Betty), Olson (Ryan), Pitts, Putnam, Rausch, Russell, Schlekeway, Sly, Steele, Tidemann, Turbiville, Van Gerpen, Verchio, and Wink and Senators Brown, Abdallah, Bradford, Haverly, Maher, and Schmidt, evidently. 

Nice going, there, South Dakota Legislature. You truly are a shining beacon of ignorance, special interests and generally 'tard-ness. Also - you're awfully, well, white...don't you think?


H/T to my Celebrity Boyfriend, The Bad Astronomer.

'Tard of the Week - Amazon

I love my Kindle. I've had it for about a year and a half, and I take it with me whenever I leave the house for any length of time. I subscribe to Newsweek on it. I read all my favorite books on it. I was happy to be a member of the Monopoly that is Amazon/Kindle, because the device served my needs, and Amazon did not make the mistake of acting like a big dick when it came to managing the content and offerings for my device.

Well. Now I have a bad taste in my mouth, and it's really pissing me off.

I'm sure many of you, being readers like me, are following the Amazon/Mcmillan pissing contest. The short version:

Mcmillan: We want you to increase the price of our titles for the Kindle.

Amazon: Fuck off.

*pause while Steve Jobs pokes Mcmillan with an iPad-shaped stick*

Mcmillan: Fuck you, Amazon!

Amazon: No, fuck you, Mcmillan! Our dicks are bigger!

*pause while Amazon pulls Mcmillan titles from the website*

Mcmillan and All Their Friends: Amazon Sucks! Amazon Sucks! Amazon Sucks!

Amazon: No we don't.

Mcmillan and All Their Friends: You do! You do! You do!

Amazon: Okay, we do. We'll kiss and make up.

Except they haven't.

A quick perusal of Amazon indicates they still haven't relisted Mcmillan titles for direct sales, although you can buy them from resellers (thus making sure the authors aren't paid). As you can imagine, this annoys the authors.

I can't believe how incredibly stupid Amazon has been about all this. Aside from the classless way in which they handled the communication surrounding the incident, the entire thing makes me think that Amazon has been taking lessons on corporate governance from that bastion of corporate evil, Wal-Mart. It feels like Amazon was attempting to strong-arm Mcmillan into lowering their profit margin because, well, we're Amazon, and we want you to.

I think it's pretty damn cool that Mcmillan's leadership team told Amazon to get bent and stuck to their guns.

I do expect some savings when I buy a title electronically rather than in book form - after all, there are no raw materials associated with the production of the work. I also don't expect to be able to replicate the file. Some form of DRM is acceptable to me, because I know that even though I would not distribute the file, others don't share my compunction. But Amazon is getting a bit UPPITY about the whole thing.

Make no mistake, Amazon - I won't blink if you continue to act the ass. I'll dump your device like a hot rock and buy a Nook. You've already lost the Smart Man's business as a result of your asinine behavior. You are not ENTITLED to my business. You are not ENTITLED to strong-arm publishers to increase your profit margin at the expense of theirs.  Keep it up, you 'tard. See where it gets you.

'Tard of the Week - Chuck Norris

Fellow Americans, we should be dropping to our knees and thanking the Baby Jesus that we have a defender such as CHUCK NORRIS. Who else but CHUCK NORRIS could have figured out that President Obama's decision to sign an executive order extending standard law enforcement courtesies to Interpol is actually a SECRET PLOT to allow Interpol to lock away SECRET EVIDENCE of terrorist activities from the AMERICAN PUBLIC.

It's all due to the President's pro-Muslim stance, of course. Obviously he's using this executive order as an excuse to hide his secret pro-Muslim agenda from the American public and erode our Constitution and sovereign status. OBVIOUSLY.

Of course, CHUCK NORRIS' conclusions are being repudiated by left-wing fascist-communists such as the National Rifle Association. BECAUSE CLEARLY NO ONE HAS AMERICA'S INTERESTS AT HEART LIKE CHUCK NORRIS. ONLY HE CAN SEE THE TRUTH.

I think ole Chuck has lost his fucking mind. I mean, really and truly lost it. Call in a whole team of psychiatrists.

Or he could just be an incredible 'tard with no critical thinking skills. Reader's choice.


P.S. Am I the only one who thinks the World Net Daily, "A Free Press for a Free People," is the gift that keeps on giving? It's like the Weekly World News for politics!

'Tard of the Year - 2009

So it's 2010, and I'm joining the rest of the country in fervently wishing it's a better year (and a better decade) that what's come before. But before I can put 2009 to bed, we need to determine who will win the much-sought-after "'Tard of the Year" award.

This year's candidates:

• Dale and Leilani Neumann, whose belief in superstitious nonsense cost their daughter her life; 
• Scott Renfroe and Dave Schultheis, who believe being gay is comparable to being a murderer and that babies of HIV-positive mothers deserve to get AIDS;
• Genine Compton, who believes breast feeding her child while talking on the phone and driving her other children to school is no more risky than walking down the street; 
• Michele Bachmann, who is making a new career of being Dumb in Public;
  
• Thomas and Manju Sam, whose belief in the stupidity that is homeopathy cost their daughter her life; 
• Pat Buchanan, whose sense of entitlement is excelled only by his dumbassery; 
• Major Stefen Frederick Cook, who volunteered to deploy to a combat zone only so that he could "legitimately" expose himself as a "birther;" 
• Sarah Palin, who is so fucking stupid she has been formally retired from the 2010 contest; 
  
• Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who really is just bugfuck crazy;
• The Oath Keepers, those treasonous motherfuckers who think only THEY are real Americans (the rest of us are apparently just PRETENDING);
• Swiss Voters, who have taken institutionalized bigotry to a whole new level;
• The Family Research Council, who thinks obfuscating in the name of terrifying their base is the way to keep TEH GAYZ, OH NOES! from having equal rights in this country.

What say you, Hot Chicks and Smart Men?

poll by twiigs.com

December 'Tard of the Month

Boy, did I slack off in December. There are only two candidates for the December 'Tard of the Month this time. The first is the so-called "Family Research Council," who thinks obfuscating in the name of terrifying their base is the way to keep TEH GAYZ, OH NOES! from having equal rights in this country; and us, the American Public, for having the naivete to believe that "health care reform" might actually result in something other than K Street Lobbyists and their clients lining their pockets.

What say you, Hot Chicks and Smart Men?

poll by twiigs.com

'Tard of the Week - The American Public

And why is the American Public the 'Tard this week? Because we thought that "health care reform" would actually result in, you know, reform.  Instead, the insurance companies will get a whole new set of healthy consumers that will now be forced to purchase health insurance from these for-profit companies. This goldmine is supposed to offset the new restriction on insurance companies that will prevent them from dropping sick people from their rolls. Of course, the fact that they'll be required under the law to insure these people in no way obligates them to keep the premiums in a range where a normal American family can actually afford to buy the insurance. And it in no way actually obligates the insurance companies to approve the treatments and medications these people need. You can bet your last Lipitor prescription that this so-called 'reform' will not result in reduced earnings and/or profits for insurance companies. The companies made sure of that, with their bought-and-paid-for toadies on Capital Hill.

I know I'm supposed to be making an effort to be less stabby these days, but this really chaps my ass.* How, exactly, is this a good deal for the majority of Americans? It seems to me that it's a good deal for the insurance companies (more profits!), and it's a good deal for the politicians (we passed health care reform!), and it's a good deal for the Congressional Districts who will be the recipients of the pork that was used to get the votes (I got us a new hospital!), but for us? Not so much. Instead, we get that sinking feeling that comes from knowing that you've been screwed - again. You'd think we'd learn, and not have such high expectations for a system that has proved again and again and again that it has more loyalty to K Street than to its constituents.

But we don't. Because we're 'tards.


*Shut up, Nathan.

'Tard of the Week - Family Research Council

Disclaimer: I know many, many Christian Americans who are fine people and do not indulge in institutionalized bigotry. The following screed does not imply that every Christian American is a bigoted asstard. But it does imply the FRC (and its members) are. If the shoe fits, and all that.

There's a bill winding its way through Congress. It hasn't received a great deal of publicity - not surprising, in light of the historical health care reform bill, that this piece of legislation is taking a back seat. It's called the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), and provides employment discrimination protection for LGBT workers. Specifically, the legislation would make it illegal “to fire, refuse to hire, or fail to promote employees simply based on sexual orientation." Small business, religious organizations and the military would be exempt from these new regulations.

President Obama supports this bill, and is pushing the Democratic Congress to pass it.

Enter the "Family Research Council," a self-described "Christian organization promoting the traditional family unit and the Judeo-Christian value system upon which it is built." Feel free to translate their mission to be spreading Judeo-Christian justified bigotry and blurring the line between church and state, because their website doesn't seem to be about anything else. Don't believe me? Check out the letter they sent out to their supporters surrounding the ENDA legislation. In it, they claim that extending the same non-discrimination rights already enjoyed by other minorities isn't really about protecting the LGBT community at all. Oh, no - in fact, it's about DISCRIMINATING AGAINST CHRISTIANS IN THE WORK PLACE. That's right - the far left and their HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA (which is intent on contaminating your sons and daughters and converting them to teh Gay) is now actively attempting to SQUASH YOUR CHRISTIAN FAITH. SQUASH IT LIKE THE OPPRESSED, PERSECUTED BUG THAT IT IS.

Ahem.  Sorry about that. The crazy - it's contagious.

This letter contains so many flavors of crazy and outright untruths, I don't even know where to begin.

Let's start with the many, many references to "cross dressers" in the letter. Their fear and loathing appears to be restricted to men dressing as women, but it apparently never occurs to them that cross-dressing often has nothing to do with sexual preference, and in fact many cross-dressing men are heterosexuals. But that confuses the issue with pesky facts.

The letter also goes on to say that religious organizations would be "forced to hire" teh gayz (and those grotty cross-dressers!), thus exposing their fellow bigots congregants to THE EVIL. Since churches and such are specifically exempt from the law, I'm not sure how FRC arrives at this conclusion. More of those pesky facts. 

They seem to be primarily concerned about the possibility of a "slippery slope." That if ENDA passes, gay marriage and other human atrocities can't be far behind. My own response to such an event would of course be "yippee!" but I guess I understand why such a prospect would scare the crap out of people such as them. 

The thing that really burns my ass about these asstards and their letter is the incredible way in which they try to make their VAST MAJORITY the PERSECUTED MINORITY. For many, many years, Christian Americans had vast amounts of unearned privilege, and basically did whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. No one dared speak for the rights of those with a different world view, and the institutionalized bigotry of the so-called "traditional Christians" was allowed to stand without challenge as "mainstream culture," or even worse, "white culture" (::gag::). Now the President and prominent members of Congress are issuing a challenge to their bigotry, and these fucknuts have the absolute gall to pretend THEY'RE the ones that are being PERSECUTED?  Really? Sorry, FRC - you're not persecuted, and your attempt to force your so-called "traditional Christian bigotry values" down the throats of your co-workers in the guise of "religious freedom" simply does not wash. Religion is a private matter, and simply has no role in the secular workplace. No one is attempting to force you to engage in homosexual activity, no one is forcing you to change your religious belief. But they are attempting to force you to stop discriminating against others on the basis of your religious belief. It's no different from the government forcing members of the KKK to stop discriminating against people of color (which was also justified using religious belief, if memory serves), and your attempts to make it seem different on the basis of the 1st Amendment is at least disingenuous, and at most a blatant lie to protect your bigotry from the law.

Killing someone's unearned privilege in the interest of providing equal protection under the law* to other groups is not persecution. Failing to hire someone or promote them to a position for which they're otherwise qualified because you find out they're gay is. You justify your bigotry with your religious belief, and you wonder why liberals consider you uncivilized savages?

YOUR UNEARNED PRIVILEGE IS NOT PROTECTED UNDER THE CONSTITUTION, YOU FUCKING 'TARD. The age of the religious right is over. Either move on, or move to a crazy-gated religious compound. Either way works for me.


*That would be the 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution, you fucking ignoramuses.

H/T to The Amateur Scientist

'Tard of the Week - Swiss Voters

It seems that the Swiss People's Party, (SVP), the largest party in parliament, put a measure on the Swiss ballot to outlaw minarets within Switzerland. According to the SVP, minarets are a sign of Islamisation, and so must be banned. The measure passed with 57% of the popular vote.

Um....what?

I thought minarets were a single aspect of Middle Eastern architecture. While you see them on mosques and other Middle Eastern structures associated with Islam, you also see them on Russian Orthodox structures, as well as secular buildings.

So why are they suddenly symbolic of Islamic extremism? Based on the reading I've done, it appears that Swiss voters are afraid. They're afraid of Swiss Muslims, and believe they'll try and institute Shari'a in the Swiss democracy. They're afraid of radical Islam, and they're afraid allowing architecture to reflect Islamic belief will encourage radicals to settle in Switzerland. They think that by eliminating an outward symbol of Islam, they will stop the incursion of the radical belief system into their society.


Really, Swiss voters? You think that banning a symbolic structure that is associated with aspects of both moderate and radical Islam will allow you to maintain your culture without it being "polluted" by radical Islam?

Well, that's certainly the stupidest thing I've heard this week.

The reaction of the Muslim community has been predictably negative. They consider the ban to be a message of exclusion, and an indicator that the Swiss majority have no interest whatsoever in integrating Muslim citizens into Swiss society. And in my opinion, they think that because it's true.

Now make no mistake. The problem of radical Islam is no small matter, and all governments and citizenry are in a tricky situation in trying to address it while still maintaining human rights for all their citizens. Radical Islam must be contained. The secular rights of every other person depend on maintaining a separation of church and state that radical Islam abhors. But at the same time, Muslims who embrace a liberal world-view and want to integrate into secular society have just as much right to worship as they see fit as anyone. Depriving moderate Muslims of their rights and ability to participate fully in the cultural life of their country in an effort to contain the radicals is a cure that's worse than the disease.

I'm no fan of organized religion, but I do recognize and respect that it plays a hugely important role in human society. You can't stick your fingers in your ears and sing "LALALA - you can't build here!" in an effort to contain what you consider to be a "bad influence." The only way to protect everyone's rights in a secular society is to make a concerted effort to integrate all groups into the larger whole of the society. It's true that some people don't want to be integrated, but to exclude whole subsections of your population in an effort to contain the undesirables is just stupid.

Hopefully the Swiss supreme court will see that, too, and restore Muslim's rights in Switzerland. Mob rule - it's not just for Americans anymore, and 57% of Swiss voters get the 'tard award.

'Tard of the Week - LHC Doomsayers

In an astonishing turn of events, operators of CERN's Large Hadron Collider managed to collide two protons this week and the world didn't end in a maelstrom of black holes.

Betcha feel stupid now, huh?

Don't worry, doomsayers - the LHC will come up to full power by Christmas, so I'm sure there's still plenty of time for all of us to die a horrible, squishy death and for you to be COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED in your MASSIVE KNOWLEDGE of all things PARTICLE PHYSICS. ::wink:wink::

CERN Scientists rejoice that they did not, in fact, destroy the world by sucking the earth and all its inhabitants into a black hole. Except that young woman in the lower right-hand corner. She was evidently hoping the black hole would act as her personal Calgon and take her away. Bummer, dude.

'Tard of the Week - Blamey Whinehouse...er, I mean Sarah Palin

Well, Sarah Palin's ghost-written POS book came out this week, and while everyone was obsessing about her appearance on Oprah "Wackadoo" Winfrey's show, I was rolling my eyes and wishing she would just SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY. DO YOU NOT REALIZE HOW UTTERLY STUPID YOU ARE??

Ahem.

Alas, Sarah Palin does not realize how utterly stupid she is, as evidenced by her participation in a conservative "documentary" called Media Malpractice: How Obama Got Elected and Sarah Palin Got Smeared. I just can't bring myself to link to that piece of excrescence, so here is Jon Stewart's take on this masterpiece of fair and balanced journalism:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Blamey Whinehouse
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Poor Sarah. SHE'S JUST SO PERSECUTED.

Here's what I don't get. How has it not occurred to the Palinistas that this woman is just too dumb, too emotionally immature, and too unqualified to have responsibility for anything more serious than her local Teabagger contingent? I just don't get it. Are her "followers" just as dumb and non-reality based as she is? Really? There's that many dumbasses registered to vote in this country?  How frightening.

So here's to Sarah Palin, who wins the 'Tard of the Week award for the last time this week. I've decided to eliminate her from the running moving forward, because really - selecting her is like shooting fish in a barrel. Or like shooting wolves from an airplane. Or like coming to a battle of the wits against an unarmed opponent. You understand. She just makes it too damn easy.

So enjoy your "crown," Sarah. Perhaps it's not as prestigious as your "Miss Wasilla" title, but I can guarantee you that it will last considerably longer. You truly are the public personification of the Dunning-Kruger effect. And that's an accomplishment no one can take away from you.

October 'Tard of the Month

I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT A SLACKER I AM. It's November 9th, and we still haven't voted on the October 'tard of the month. Any day now I'll be voted off the island, or voted as the 'tard myownself.

In any event, here are the candidates for October: First up is Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, who evidently believes that the Christian religious symbol is everyone's religious symbol. Because really, why not?  Next is "The Oath Keepers," those treasonous motherfuckers who think only THEY are real Americans (the rest of us are apparently just PRETENDING). Lastly we have that incredible opportunist Joe Lieberman, whose ability to execute on an idea or value is directly related to the direction of the wind.

What say you, Hot Chicks and Smart Men?

poll by twiigs.com

'Tard of the Week - Joe Lieberman

This week's 'tard is none other than that attention seeking, whiplash inducing eight dollar 'ho, Joe Lieberman. Unless you live under a rock, you know that Jumping Joe has threatened to filibuster/veto/torpedo the health care reform bill due to Harry Reid's inclusion of a public option.

Here's the part that once again exposes Joe for the incredible fucking hypocrite that he is: Lieberman was in favor of a public option for years and years, and now that Olympia Snowe is the Belle of the Ball instead of him, well clearly the public option IS EVIL AND MUST BE DESTROYED. As long as destroying it makes him the center of attention for the foreseeable future, that is. Once the media's Eye of Sauron moves away from HIS RIGHTEOUS STAND OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, then I'm quite sure he'll find something else to grandstand about.

Seriously, Connecticut - can't you find someone a little less offensive to represent you? Anyone? Say, someone who gives a good goddamn about what his or her constituents actually want? Perhaps you could convince Saqib Ali to move...

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Joe Lieberman Is a True Independent
www.colbertnation.com
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In the interest of full disclosure, I have to say that I support a public option (along with 55% of the rest of America). And I love Stephen Colbert, lifetime member of my celebrity seraglio. "Stick to your principles, Joe, and as soon as you can, let us know what those are."

::swoon::