'Tard of the Week - Chuck Norris

Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Fellow Americans, we should be dropping to our knees and thanking the Baby Jesus that we have a defender such as CHUCK NORRIS. Who else but CHUCK NORRIS could have figured out that President Obama's decision to sign an executive order extending standard law enforcement courtesies to Interpol is actually a SECRET PLOT to allow Interpol to lock away SECRET EVIDENCE of terrorist activities from the AMERICAN PUBLIC.

It's all due to the President's pro-Muslim stance, of course. Obviously he's using this executive order as an excuse to hide his secret pro-Muslim agenda from the American public and erode our Constitution and sovereign status. OBVIOUSLY.

Of course, CHUCK NORRIS' conclusions are being repudiated by left-wing fascist-communists such as the National Rifle Association. BECAUSE CLEARLY NO ONE HAS AMERICA'S INTERESTS AT HEART LIKE CHUCK NORRIS. ONLY HE CAN SEE THE TRUTH.

I think ole Chuck has lost his fucking mind. I mean, really and truly lost it. Call in a whole team of psychiatrists.

Or he could just be an incredible 'tard with no critical thinking skills. Reader's choice.


P.S. Am I the only one who thinks the World Net Daily, "A Free Press for a Free People," is the gift that keeps on giving? It's like the Weekly World News for politics!

10 comments:

The Mechanicky Gal said...

Oh! And Chuck? Whatever you paid your plastic surgeon? You got ripped off.

WendyB_09 said...

Chuck needs to go back to doing infomercials for ab-whatchamacallits.

Oh, that's it...all muscle, no brains left. He thinks he's a Texas Ranger in real life!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

vince said...

I agree that World Net Daily is the gift that keeps on giving, but it's such a bad gift that I refuse to regift it.

Janiece said...

Vince, now you're just being a grump.

Chris said...

Janiece, it's Chuck Norris. He'll go down in history as being a ridiculous interweb meme, not someone whose political views anyone takes seriously ;)

Janiece said...

Chris, that's definitely true, but I'm stilling having fun pointing and laughing.

Hehe.

Eric said...

I resent your comparing WND to my beloved WWN. WWM was written by people who knew better but couldn't resist a good prank or joke, and if it happened to split the difference between what an ignoramus might believe and a college kid might smirk at, all the better.

Consider, for instance, the WWN item about the trailer park vampire: after feasting off dozens of rednecks, he's captured, jailed, and offered a last meal; he chooses a three-pound steak, and is found dead the next morning from a heart attack, his cholesterol count having already been sent through the roof by all that rich redneck blood.

The last line of the WWN story? The sheriff's deputy is quoted as saying that after all those trailer park victims, "that steak went right to his heart."

Ba-da-DUMP!

Do you really think the WND has anyone on staff capable of imagining an entire fake news story designed around one delightfully awful pun?

The WWN is a downscale version of The Onion, while WND is simply the frothing of fanatics.

So take it back. :)

Janiece said...

So take it back. :)

Make me!

Steve Buchheit said...

As the Genie said in Alladin, "One to many snakes to the head." They're doing tests on NFL players who suffered too many concussions. Maybe they should include ol' Chucky in that study.

John the Scientist said...

Yeah, ol' Chuck took one too many backfists to the temple when he was in Okinawa. The difference between him and Ali is Chuck still has the motor skills to speak almost like a normal human. o.O