'Tard of the Week - Major Stefan Frederick Cook, USA

Wednesday, July 15, 2009
You know, I've spent more than half my adult life in service to this country. During that time, I've had to do some things I didn't like, and I've had to serve under some people I didn't respect. That's the nature of the commitment - you don't solemnly swear to protect the Constitution of the United States unless the American people elect a Commander in Chief you think is a big putz. Otherwise, there would have been a massive defection from 2000 to 2008.

Which brings me to U.S. Army Major Stefan Frederick Cook, this week's 'tard.

Major Cook, an active reservist, received orders on June 9th mobilizing him to active duty. He's supposed to report today to MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa, Florida, and subsequently shipped to Afghanistan. He doesn't want to go, so he and his attorney have filed a motion in Federal court to excuse him from his duty on the basis that President Barack Obama isn't a natural born citizen of the United States, is thus ineligible for the Presidency, and can't tell him what to do.

Really, Major Cook? Really? President Obama has been in office for six months, and you decide to wait until you're deployed to a combat zone to address the legality of his election? Really? I'm sorry, do you think you could be more obvious in your attempts to wiggle out of your duty? Perhaps by claiming status as a "conscientious objector?" Oh, that's right. You're claiming that, too. If I understand the filings correctly, you're making this claim based purely on the basis of the President's "illegal status" because by following his orders, you'll become a "war criminal."

As opposed to all those folks who followed our last legal president, George W. Bush, whose dedication to the law is so LEGENDARY.

Now, I know nothing about Major Cook's service record. But I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that he is a stupid, sniveling pussy. Abandoning the oath on a manufactured pretext in order to get out of the duty you volunteered for is completely dishonorable and beneath contempt.

Way to represent the Army, there Major Cook. No wonder the rest of the services consider you guys the bottom of the barrel.

14 comments:

Rachael said...

Yeah, I rolled my eyes so hard when I read that, I think I sprained something in my head.

Janiece Murphy said...

Welcome, Rachael.

I rolled my eyes so hard I think I sprained something in my head.

I love that turn of phrase. Rachael may turn into my new girl crush. But in a completely non-icky, non-stalkerish kind of way.

Jim Wright said...

Well, you can probably guess where I stand on this sort of thing, Janiece.

This has nothing to do with the President - this guy is nothing but a simpering coward, simple as that. He's the type of officer who loves the privilege of his rank, but has no regard for the responsibility. The timing of his action proves that beyond a shadow of a doubt. This sniveling piece of shit doesn't deserve the privilege of wearing the uniform and he's damned lucky I won't be sitting behind the table at his courts martial.

Eric said...

Major Cook is a major douche, in other words. I suppose if President McCain was deploying him to Iraq, he'd be alright with that. Or would he be trying to claim McCain was born in the Canal Zone and isn't an American, either?

Janiece Murphy said...

Jim, I assumed you'd be standing right next me, in line at our nearest Home Depot purchasing pitchforks in bulk.

What gets me is just how fucking obvious he is. This guy's sniveling pussy status makes him a world-class douche (as Eric notes), but the fact that he expects anyone to believe he's doing this as a "matter of principle" is what makes him a world-class 'tard.

Steve Buchheit said...

I'm sorry, 1) you don't make Major being a conscientious objector, 2) "because this President is iky" doesn't qualify for conscientious objector (and this refusal of orders is done through the military justice system, not the civil) and 3) I'll bet this isn't his first deployment and unless he can show a change of religion, as I remember, his CO application should be summarily denied.

So Major Cook, not only are you a 'tard, you're also a tool.

Dr. Phil (Physics) said...

Standing in Home Depot...

"Excuse me, how much for this clue-by-four?" and "Can I get a quantity discount for some friends of mine?"

Dr. Phil

Kate said...

I was hoping that you'd write about him. I read that story and instantly thought - Yep. Janiece will get that. :)

Hahah.

I wonder if he realizes that McCain would have had the same problem as Commander in Chief as he was born in Panama. :)

I echo the sentiment though that he's just a coward who needs a good ass whipping.

vince said...

Update on this asshole. HE VOLUNTEERED TO GO!

The Army has revoked the deployment orders for Cook, since:

...he's a reserve soldier who volunteered for an active duty tour (and) he can "ask for a revocation of orders up until the day he is scheduled to report for active duty," a public affairs officer explained. Cook volunteered for the tour in May of this year. It is not clear why he did so, considering his current objections.

http://tinyurl.com/lnqt6x

Yeah, and his even bigger 'tard of a lawyer Orly Taitz (who's Keyes lawyer in Alan Keyes, et al. v Barack H. Obama, et al - a lawsuit alleging Obama is ineligible to be president because he is not a "natural born citizen.") has been saying the Army has cancelled Cook's deployment with no comment, meaning they (she and her client) had won on the grounds of the suit Cook had filed.

There's also word that Cook lost his job. It's being reported that:

According to the CEO of Simtech Inc., a private company contracted by the Defense Security Services, an agency of the Department of Defense, the federal government has compelled the termination of Maj. Stefan Frederick Cook. Cook's attorney, Orly Taitz, wrote in her blog that Simtech CEO Larry Grice said he would try to find another position within the company for Cook, but nothing is currently available.

http://preview.tinyurl.com/mz72g8

Although neither Cook or his lawyer is likely to understand this, it's a bad idea to sue the Army when you work for a company that Army employees. Especially when you are a complete asshole and make the Army look bad.

To quote Bugs Bunny "What a maroon!"

Janiece Murphy said...

Thanks for the update, Vince.

Just when you think people can't get any damn stupider.

Damn shame about him losing his job, and all...NOT.

Eric said...

Oh bloody fucking Hell. Thanks for the update, Vince: I think Cook's motivations are all too clear, considering the timing. He's one of those birther retards, and he volunteered for an active duty tour so he could file this fucking suit. I wouldn't be shocked if he's one of the paranoids who regularly comments on her travesty of a blog.

ntsc said...

I had thought, till yesterday, that this particular idiocy had died in January when the Supremes refused to hear an appeal.

Janiece Murphy said...

Hey, everyone! NTSC made a funny!

Jim Wright said...

Thing to bear in mind here is that Taitz appears to have manufactured a number of these cases. She's reported to represent a number of "Soldiers" who refuse to follow the CINC's orders. None of the previous cases could be traced to actual real human beings.

That doesn't appear to be the case here. Cook is obviously real. However, I wonder how much of his motivation for this nonsense was inspired by the other, probably, fictional cases Taitz reported?

And as Eric said, given the safety loophole in this type of inactive reserve individual augmentation (Cook wasn't called up as part of a unit, he volunteered as an individual who isn't normally on active duty), well that makes Cook's position an exercise in duplicity and dishonor. He volunteered for a combat deployment he had no intention of keeping. This not only leaves a gap in the force structure that the army will now have to fill, it burns up tax dollars and assets that will go to waste (Cook would have had to do work ups prior to deployment, gear issue, and etc. Once he withdrew so close to deployment and in such a manner the Army would have to respond with its own legal and procedural review).

Frankly, I don't want a guy like this in the war zone where other soldiers might have to depend on him, or, as an officer, depend on his judgement and commitment to the mission. He needs to be stripped of his rank, drummed from the service for dishonorable conduct, and required to pay back any costs incurred in processing both his false volunteerism and his dishonorable withdrawal.

Everything I wrote here applies in this case as well. This guy is a complete scumbag and deserve nothing but contempt from the American public. But what really kills me here are those NeoCons who think this idiot is some kind of hero - what if every soldier did this when they didn't like the president? What if every American under arms could so easily disregard his or her oath? Would these neocon idiots really want to live in that country? It's just like the goddamned patriot act - they all though it was such a great idea when their president was in office, but listen to them cry and whine now that Obama has the same power to use against them. What if those of us who served under that cocksucker Bush the Lesser had all refused to deploy? Would the the neocons think it such a great idea then?

Assholes. Stupid, ignorant, short-sighted assholes.