'Tards of the Week - Scott Renfroe and Dave Schultheis

Thursday, February 26, 2009
It's a first here at Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men - we not only have two 'tards this week, but they'll be featured in the same entry.

Why, you may ask - why is Janiece reformatting the beloved 'Tard of the Week feature this week?

Because, as embarrassed as I am to admit it, both of these fucknuts are Colorado State Senators. That's right, Hot Chicks and Smart Men - I live in a state that elects not one irritating, ignorant dumbass to the Senate, but two! Lucky, lucky me.

Senator Scott Renfroe was commenting on a bill on Monday that would allow same-sex health care benefits to state employees. Not content to simply vote his so-called conscience and cast a "no" ballot for the initiative, he felt compelled to testify, brother!



That's right, folks - here in Colorado, we don't need to attend to that pesky, pesky 1st Amendment! The 1st Amendment is for sinners and suckers! After all, we have Leviticus to guide our law-making activities!

Okay, I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Really, Senator Renfroe? Really? What the hell is wrong with you, you ignorant fuckwad? Aside from being a Levitican, I mean. Leaving aside for the moment the obvious fact that my Smart Boy is a more polished, coherent and articulate speaker than you are, how can you possibly believe that quoting the Old Testament is an appropriate reference for a secular debate about law? Law that must be in compliance with that pesky, pesky 1st Amendment, incidentally?

Christ on a crutch - have you considered acting like, you know, a Christian? Fucking 'tard.

Next on our hit parade is Zippy the Pin-Head, otherwise known as Senator Dave Schultheis. Zippy, being the font of compassion and wisdom that he is, believes that pregnant women should not be required to have HIV screening, because the disease "stems from sexual promiscuity" and he didn’t think the Legislature should "remove the negative consequences that take place from poor behavior and unacceptable behavior."

Because everybody knows that only skank-ho's contract HIV, and Zippy is the only one who's qualified to judge the behavior of these women, since he's such a paragon of conservative virtue and all. Scarlet Letter, anyone?

And tell me, Zippy, how the hell does staying ignorant of your medical condition equal "negative consequences?" The negative consequence here would be to the baby, you 'tard, who might contract the virus without preventative treatment being started. I guess "true conservatives" like our buddy Zippy believe the babies of HIV positive mothers should share their mother's disease as a lesson to all those uppity sluts out there. That'll teach 'em!

My Colorado Senators, ladies and gentlemen. I'm so proud.


H/T to Hot Lurker Jan.

27 comments:

Nathan said...

Jeez Janiece, this one's really a tossup. And since both of them seem mired in antiquated concepts of morality, let's give 'em an antiquated test. Put 'em both in a catapult and let the toss decide things. If either of them manages to land without injury, we'll have to accept that a higher power is looking out for them.

It's inarguable logic!

Janiece Murphy said...

"It's good to be the king."

Pull!

Jim Wright said...

Yeah, I saw the bit on Renfroe last night. What a wonderful human being. Being gay is the same as murder? Anybody who thinks a Christian theocracy would be any different whatsoever from one run by the Taliban is fooling themselves.

What I always find interesting about Fundie Christians like Renfroe is their utter obsession with the whole gay issue. Sure there's a couple of admonishments in the bible about homosexuality - but there's a whole lot more in there about judgement being reserved for God; geed, gluttony, hate, adultery, and hypocrisy being bad - and a whole lot more in there about forgiveness, charity, turning the other cheek and etc. Oh, and last I checked there was nothing about abortion, at all. And yet, people like Renfroe are obsessed with teh gayness. Why is that? Could it be that he's got some strange yearnings going on in that little pinhead of his?

I'd bet money that he does.

The only good thing about your Senators, Janiece, is that they make mine look good in comparison.

Janiece Murphy said...

Jim, that does not make me feel better.

Jim Wright said...

Move

Janiece Murphy said...

I'd rather stay here and bitch about the 'tards who are ruining the reputation of my state.

Perhaps I can even shame them into behaving like actual human beings!

What?

Eric said...

Nathan, your proposal is barbaric. Put them in catapults?!? WTF, man?

Cannons.

Muzzle-to-muzzle, facing each other.

Much more contemporary. Plus, it means one of them can be buried with an entire brain placed in the casket. (Or you could bury them together with the one whole brain, and you might have to, only there's that whole "thou shalt not lie with another man" business, I mean, we wouldn't want to accidentally gayify these dudes in the grave somehow, right?)

Janiece Murphy said...

I'm more of a trebuchet kind of gal, myself.

Pull!

vince said...

Idiots like these don't understand words like gestalt and context and history and Constitution and phrases like love thy neighbor and do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

I'd guess there's lots of other words and phrases they don't understand either.

Jim Wright said...

Trebuchet! Hell yes.

It'll be like punkin' chunkin' only we'll call it Senator Slingin' or maybe Tard Toss.

Maybe we'll get a special on cable...

Janiece Murphy said...

We'll call our cable show Pull!

People can nominate political contestants from all over the country.

It's bound to be more entertaining than most reality shows.

Nathan, you're our showbiz rep - make a proposal, will you?

Eric said...

Considering the conversation about the Biblical morality quiz that's being exposed at Stonekettle Station today, I'm not sure we should be pulling on anything.

Still, firing idiot politicians from something seems like a sound idea, and I like the televisual angle. Maybe we could do some kind of crossover with the Mythbusters guys, offering up national leaders as surrogates for that poor abused crash-test dummy they have....

John the Scientist said...

"Cannons."

Well, if ti was good enough for the enlightened Queen Victoria (Sepoy Mutiny), it's good enough for me. :D

Janiece Murphy said...

But tebuchets are so much cooler.

If we're going to be on TeeVee, we must be cool.

Wendy said...

I'll help with the tv bit and throw in both of Georgia's nimrod (R) Senators and teh (R) Gov'na to boot.

WendyB_09

Nathan said...

OK, we'll call it Survivor II.

You don't just get voted off the island, you get an all expenses paid flight!

We'll have a network bidding war going in no time.

P.S. I'm good with either catapults or trebuchets, but stuff tends to come apart before reaching full muzzle velocity with the cannons. Just something to keep in mind.

Wendy said...

Yeah, cannons tend to heat up and assplode when subjected to the rapid fire requirements we'd have for this project.

WendyB_09

Jim Wright said...

Plus I've actually built a working trebuchet (granted it was only three feet tall, but it could through a stale marshmallow 50ft!), and I'd be happy to build more and larger.

Now, do Senators bounce or splat when they hit?

Wendy said...

I do believe that shit splatters.

WendyB_09

Jim Wright said...

Did I actually type "Through" instead of "throw?" Really, did I do that? Um, it's entirely possible that critical portions of my brain are failing.

Please ignore.

Janiece Murphy said...

Wendy is correct. They splatter, like a rock falling on a grape.

vince said...

With our luck, like Bumbles, they bounce.

Steve Buchheit said...

Yeah, the quota of political crap swinging has just been on an exponential curve the past few weeks. I've finally figured out the "teh gays" are big now because "killin' the unborn babies" is losing it's cache. Gotta keep the Christies donating to the Republican party.

And yes, the stupid bounces. Just like Bumbles. But if you fire them at walls you can get a superball bounce.

Eric said...

So we invent a multi-barrel, liquid-cooled cannon to deal with the temperature issues. Better yet, paint the dudes with a magnetic ferrous oxide and fire them out a railgun.

Tell me that wouldn't be cooler than a trebuchet.

Random Michelle K said...

Sorry Eric,

Nothing is better than a trebuchet.

Unless it's a trebuchet flinging flaming politicians.

Wendy said...

Eric, for our purposes I do believe there would be room for both the previously discussed trebuchet AND your rail gun. I suspect both would be kept very, very busy.

WendyB_09

Tania said...

Eric, we can use your railgun up here in Alaska. I generously off up the rep for my district for testing. He's so fundy it hurts.

(Jim - It's Coghill. ::shudder::)