The Worst Job in the World

Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Today's "Worst Job in the World" award just has to go to the PR department of Abercrombie & Fitch.

Can you imagine being responsible for damage control every time that douchecanoe Mike Jeffries opens his mouth? Trying to mop up this dude's mess has to be right up there with New York Rat Catcher or Leech Farmer.

The most recent contretemps, of course, surround his egregious "fat-shaming" comments about why A&F won't offer women's pants in a size higher than a ten. Because all you Fatty McFattersons who wear an enormous size twelve JUST AREN'T COOL ENOUGH FOR ABERCROMBIE & FITCH.

Explaining this shit to the public just CAN'T be easy:
"We're sorry our CEO is a reprehensible choad with no redeeming social qualities whatsoever."
"We regret our CEO's unfortunate comments regarding 'cool kids.' He has brain damage from repeated noogies when he was a child, and isn't responsible for his actions."
"Abercrombie & Fitch would like to publicly apologize for our complete lack of compassion, understanding, inclusion, and redeeming social value in the marketplace."
"We just suck. And we intend to continue to suck. And we'll continue to be successful at it, too."
That last one is just fucking depressing. And also, unfortunately, true.

4 comments:

mom in northern said...

Ellen took them on the other day with hillarous results...

- CGL - said...

"Leech farmer." BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Janiece said...

Carolyn, that's an Honest-to-God Thing.

No shit.

beatrice in Paris said...

People line up on the Champs-Elysees to get into their shop. Idiots everywhere!