Suck It, Wagner

Friday, August 27, 2010
As you all may know, the UCF has been following the antics of one Walter L. Wagner for quite some time. His incredible litigiousness is like a train wreck - I just can't look away.

Well, his latest frivolous lawsuit was an appeal at the United States District Court to stop the operation of the LHC (which has, incidentally, been quietly colliding its particles for months with no discernible ill effects to the world-as-we-know-it) on the grounds that it is DANGEROUS and MUST BE STOPPED before it creates micro black holes and SWALLOWS THE EARTH, O NOES.

The judge has ruled, and amazingly enough, it turns out ole Wally was wrong. AGAIN.

According to the decision,
Wagner cannot demonstrate that he has standing. A plaintiff alleging a procedural injury, such as Wagner, must still establish injury in fact. See Laub v. U.S. Dep’t. of Interior, 342 F.3d 1080, 1086 (9th Cir. 2003). Injury in fact requires some “credible threat of harm.” Cent. Delta Water Agency v. United States, 306 F.3d 938, 950 (9th Cir. 2002). At most, Wagner has alleged that experiments at the Large Hadron Collider (the “Collider”) have “potential adverse consequences.” Speculative fear of future harm does not constitute an injury in fact sufficient to confer standing. Mayfield, 599 F.3d at 970.

Even if Wagner has demonstrated injury in fact, he nevertheless fails to satisfy the causality or redressability prongs set out in Lujan. The European Center for Nuclear Research (“CERN”) proposed and constructed the Collider, albeit with some U.S. government support. The U.S. government enjoys only observer status on the CERN council, and has no control over CERN or its operations. Accordingly, the alleged injury, destruction of the earth, is in no way attributable to the U.S. government’s failure to draft an environmental impact statement.

CERN maintains total ownership, management, and operational control of the Collider. CERN has never been properly served, and is not a party to this case. Even if this court were to render a decision in Wagner’s favor, such a decision would have no impact on CERN or Collider operations, and would not afford Wagner the relief he seeks. [[Because our determination of standing is not dependent on the identity of the Appellant, we need not address whether Luis Sancho is a party to this appeal.]]
Yeah. The court has determined that not only does the U.S. District Court have no authority to tell a European entity what it can and cannot do, it also has determined that Wagner's Chicken-Little "speculative fear" has no standing.

I'M SHOCKED. SHOCKED, I TELL YOU.

Who could have guessed that Walter L. Wagner's personal crusade to shut down the LHC to protect us from the Black Holes (o noes) would end in an ignominious dismissal? Besides everyone but Wagner, I mean.

___________
H/T to Dr. Phil, who is an ACTUAL PHYSICIST. With a Ph.D. In PHYSICS. Unlike some other people we could name...

5 comments:

vince said...

I hope you have the Shovel of Doom (TM) ready, because you know the usual suspects are almost certain to show up.

And yeah, I, too am shocked and surprised. To quote that well-known philosopher Bugs Bunny, "What a maroon!"

Janiece said...

Vince, the Shovel of Doom™ is always at the ready.

However, if the usual suspects do show up with ORIGINAL and ENLIGHTENING information, they won't be deleted. If they show up with their usual circular footnotes and nonsense about the genius of Mr. Litigious, they'll be deleted out of hand.

Hear that, Tankersley?

Dr. Phil (Physics) said...

Technically my Ph.D. is in Applied Physics and my dissertation research was not in particle physics or micro black holes. And for the record, I have never been to CERN, though twice I've had tours at Fermilab. (grin)

Dr. Phil

Janiece said...

And that, Dr. Phil, is why you have credibility - you don't overstate your qualifications, you're clear about what you know (and don't know), and you're not overly impressed with yourself.

And you'll excuse me if I believe your (now clarified) academic achievements still make you light years more qualified than Wagner.

Tom said...

Thank you, Janiece, for this next chapter in the continuing story of Bungalow Bill, AKA WLW.

It's always a good thing to see someone else give him his comeuppance.