The Queen of the Liberal Agenda

Tuesday, March 23, 2010
I was chatting the other morning with the hilarious Shawn, fellow UCFer, Linux Journal guru and all around great guy. He was bringing me up to speed on the latest news surrounding the rebuilding of their family home, and during our conversation, we came to the following conclusions:
  • The name of my blog just screams "godless heathen."
  • You can just NEVER TELL about people who consort with ATHEISTS and PROGRESSIVES. They are SUSPECT.
  • Blogging about the word 'vagina' makes you a godless heathen, regardless of what you call your blog.
  • Shawn secretly wants to be a meth addict. Or he's a secret meth addict. I'm not sure which.*
  • Millennials are lazy, entitled gits who believe the world owes them a living. This impression was reinforced at a SXSW panel of 20-somethings where they opined, "If we could get telecommuting, flex time, and no micromanaging — we'd be hard workers!" Because, really - who wouldn't give some unproven, unskilled, inexperienced dolt the same privileges it's taken me 25 years to earn? And get off my lawn.
  • There should be a Jesus action figure with a "resurrection grip." 
  • I am the QUEEN OF THE LIBERAL AGENDA.
  • Shawn's truck may in fact be a tool of the homosexual agenda, and Shawn himself may in fact be a SECRET PROGRESSIVE.*
  • The UCF would have a vast financial future in writing and producing parody videos of Fox News, if Jon Stewart hadn't thought of it first.
As you can tell, I had a very amusing morning. I love the Internet.


*Not really. Don't go spreading viscous rumors.

10 comments:

Nathan said...

*viscous rumors.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(OK, fine. I know it's just a typo, but I think it's pretty damn funny.)

Eric said...

This post is like a ghost ship or something. It was here, vanished into a fogbank for days and days, and now it's here again.

Strrraaaaaaaange days, folks.

:D

The Mechanicky Gal said...

It's viscous!

Vagabond said...

Is there a viscosity rating scale for rumors, like there is for motor oil?

Shawn Powers said...

I think my favorite bit of our discussion was my truck being a tool. I used Glenn Beck logic:

My insurance company is Progressive. (It really is, which makes it all the better) So we know the truck is PROGRESSIVE, but it doesn't end there folks. It's a stick shift, an obvious phallic symbol -- and on the shifter? 1-2-3-4-5-R. That's right, they replace the 6 (which kinda sounds like sex) with an "R", which obviously stands for "Rear" !!!!

Don't you see it? A phallic object, which replaces the sex with REAR -- my PROGRESSIVE truck is pushing the gay agenda!

Nathan said...

Careful Shawn. Don't get me too excited...my viscosity's rising.

(I crack me up)

Janiece said...

I was going to fix the typo, but you guys got far too much mileage out of it for me to go back now.

And Eric - this is not the blog entry you're looking for.

Eric said...

This is not the blog entry I am looking for.

neurondoc said...

Move along. Move along.

Katherine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.