Let's Visit the Celebrity Seraglio

Monday, July 26, 2010
I'm completely uninspired today when it comes to blog fodder, so I asked for suggestions on Twitter. My non-despicable minions responded with a request that we revisit our celebrity seraglio, since really, what's more fun that pretending you actually have a chance with some famous hawtie who is probably already involved with some other famous hawtie?

Here's how it works - I give you the top five members of my celebrity seraglio, and the peanut gallery can either approve, disapprove, throw rotten vegetables, or otherwise make unwise, perverse and witty suggestions - double entendre optional.

Ready?

Number 5: Dwayne Johnson, aka "The Rock." I have no earthly idea if Mr. Johnson has a brain in his head, or if he's just pleasant to look at, and really - for the number 5 spot, who gives a good goddamn? Pool Boy...oh Pool Boy...*

Number 4: Sean Carroll, theoretical physicist at the California Institute of Technology and author of From Eternity to Here. Once he referred to certain sections of the universe as "lumpy," he was a shoe-in.

Number 3: Brian Cox, particle physicist at the University of Manchester, author, and black hole creator at CERN's Large Hadron Collider. He used the word "bullox" to describe the LHC doomsayers on The Colbert Report, which made me shoot Pepsi out of my nose.

Number 2: Jon Stewart. He pwned Walter Wagner on national television, plus he's smart, funny and rich. Who could ask for more? No, really - what more could you possibly want?

And the Number 1 member of my celebrity seraglio? That's right - astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, head of the Hayden Planetarium, author, and media geek extraordinaire.


Be still, my heart. 

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*Why, yes, I did just totally objectify Mr. Johnson there. Totally.

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Edited at 3:16 p.m. to bring in the rest of my short list: Liam Neeson, Lance Reddick, Ezra Klein, Matt Taibbi and (of course!) the Incomparable Evan Newkirk,

9 comments:

Jeri said...

But wait - I had Brian Cox on my list! That accent and that smile - plus all the fabulous science cred! Mmmm....

Janiece said...

Jeri, we can totally share - that's what Trollops do.

I'm already sharing Jon Stewart with Carol Elaine, after all.

John the Scientist said...

Did I tell you I've met Neil? :p

Janiece said...

No. No you haven't.

::shakes fist in completely transparent fit of envy::

Jeri said...

My list is up. And yes, we're sharing. :)

vince said...

Gotta say, that's a pretty good list. And your willingness to share is very noble of you.

Maybe I should do a celebrity harem, because there are are plenty of hawt, smart women out there.

Janiece said...

Vince, you should totally do that.

And then we'll sit back and watch the double standard unfold, as feminists everywhere descend upon your blog and call you everything from "sexist pig" to "GenderFailBoy."

What? Don't tell me that wouldn't happen. You know is would.

vince said...

Janiece, some days you are just no fun. Not wrong, mind you, just no fun.

Jeri said...

Vince - you could always enumerate the members of your harem in a more private forum, provided, of course, you had access to such. ;)