Kill Me Now

Wednesday, July 28, 2010
I swear, Tom Tancredo is a raving nutjob. That opinion should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me. After all, I'm a liberal, and I'm not insane. I've always been embarrassed by the fact that he was my representative until the 2008 election, even though I didn't vote for his whackadoodle ass.

After the 2008 election, he pretty much disappeared from my radar since Fox News isn't really my first choice for, well, anything. I was perfectly okay with that, as his ranting was becoming profoundly boring.

But now, suddenly, he's in the public eye again. His repeated calls for the impeachment of the president are retarded at best, and my good friend Eric over at Standing on the Shoulders of Giant Midgets has an excellent analysis of the root cause of this particular bit of dipshittery.

My own issue with ole Tom is a bit closer to home. He's decided to run for the Colorado Governorship under something called the "American Constitution Party."

Oh, yay. Now I get to listen to the batshit crazy through NOVEMBER as he attempts to drag Colorado into the land of the incurably insane. The good news is that his run is likely to split conservative voters, giving the most liberal candidate a better chance. The bad news is that I may be forced to commit jigai in order to avoid a murderous rampage through Douglas County after being forced to listen to this fuck-knuckle for months.

Perhaps you should just kill me now.

14 comments:

Eric said...

I couldn't help thinking of you with some degree of pity and sympathy while I was writing the Tancredo piece. :)

You have my condolences....

Steve Buchheit said...

The freeze dried whackaloon quotient keeps on rising. It's like a damn has burst somewhere and the Asylum has lost all its lunatics.

mom in northern said...

Have you read the Amer. Const. Parties positions...??? Curl every hair on your body!

Janiece said...

Mom, I'm afeered. I'll need to gird my loins before I attempt THAT feat...

Jerry Critter said...

It is amazing the number of batshit crazy people that the right has. It is even more amazing that people listen to them and vote for them.

Rachael said...

You know, I just about came out of the top of my head when Tom Tancredo said all that shit about how we ought to bring back the literacy test. I think at that point I described him as "the embarrassing shit stain in the underpants of our great state." At this point, though, I'm just finding his struggle for relevance to be funny. I've been laughing since he demanded that the Republican gubernatorial candidates drop out in favor of him and haven't stopped since. It's like watching a stupid asshole you hate trying desperately to push open a door marked "pull."

Fun fact: The candidate for the whackaloon third party said he'd only let Tancredo take his place if he came out in strong support of the "personhood" (SCREAM) amendment. Which of course Tancredo will do, because the man never met a ridiculous fringe idea he didn't like.

Paul said...

"Fuck-knuckle"? Nice. I'm keeping that one.

Janiece said...

Rachael, I'd be inclined to laugh, too, except that listening to him gives me high blood pressure (along with the "personhood" amendment). Although I do have to admit that his little "ultimatum" to the Republican candidates did make me snort in a most unladylike manner.

Paul, you're welcome. We aim to serve here at Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men.

Jim Wright said...

I'm inclined to laugh, right up until I realize that this spider brained douche got himself elected in the first place, then I'm less amused - there are a lot of tea party assholes in your state and they just might turn out to vote this time around.

American Constitution Party? One wonders if they've ever actually read the Constitution? Of course, with that said - since Tancredo's entire bit is that Obama hasn't kept America "safe from invasion," i.e. the rightwing nightmare of brown people coming to steal our Jesus, I wonder if Tancredo would support imprisoning every single member of the GOP who've done nothing to stem the invasion either other than to shout "no!" whenever immigration reform comes up? I'd call that treason in Tancredo logic.

Fathergoose said...

TT is not crazy, he is clever. He stayed close enough to his party to earn 5 terms in Congress, when he decided not to run for a 6th term he started to go a bit rouge. But his real cleverness was that he stayed in office exactly the correct number of years, to the day, to walk away with a retirement package that is worth more than 130k a year plus benefits. Where else can you get that for working only 10 years? I believe that was his plan all along. Clever I say! No TT is not crazy, he is however a huge NUT! Personally I am glad he joined the race. Face it Hickenlooper is a shoe-in; this race was going to be boring. I find it entertaining to watch someone like TT make a fool out of himself.

Janiece said...

Jim, please contact a cleaning crew to come remove the gray matter from my basement. My head exploded when I read "Tancredo logic."

Fathergoose, I was not aware of that. What a douchebag.

Jim Wright said...

You're welcome!

John the Scientist said...

Colorado : West Virginia with better skiing.

:D

Hey, I can laugh, you know who one of MY Senators is...

neurondoc said...

I swear, it's like some sort of creeping fungus. Where the hell do these people come from and why do people listen to them? (This after I spent the weekend with my father, Mr. Teachers-make-too-much-money-but-NJ-needs-to-SAVE-Atlantic-City...) I swear my head exploded about 10 times until I made politics off-limits.