Civic Duty

Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Last weekend, I received a general announcement e:mail from my county indicating they were looking for a new Council Member for their Cultural Council. The mission of the council is:
To serve a diverse citizenry through access, research, and communication, thereby facilitating the development of cultural opportunities in arts, sciences and history.
Being a bossy, volunteering kind of gal, I sent an application in. I don't have high hopes in being selected, however.

My on-line presence shows me to be a bit...opinionated. And by opinionated I mean loud, liberal, non theist and impatient with morons. It seems highly unlikely that a blood-red county like mine will choose such a self-described person for their volunteer Cultural Council - my experiences with other residents of Douglas County imply they wouldn't have much use for me. After all, I might suggest we stage a mock Constitutional Convention for the benefit of our brain-washed youth or, even better, a baby cook-off where residents can compare BBQ Sauce recipes.

So while I'm willing to serve, it seems unlikely I'll be selected. Of course, I could be wrong about the selection committee. Maybe they want someone to stir things up a bit. If I'm chosen, I wonder how long it will take me to drop the F Bomb during a meeting?

15 comments:

Stacey said...

There's a higher liklihood you'll punch someone in the throat.

vince said...

If I'm chosen, I wonder how long it will take me to drop the F Bomb during a meeting?

Depends on how many morons are serving with you and how quickly they demonstrate they're moronic.

Vagabond said...

As a betting man, I would put the over/under on that proposition at 5.25 minutes. I envision some tea party wanna be proposing a "patriot appreciation day" with activities to include book burnings (after all, the only book you really need is the Good Book), an Intelligent Design interactive media display and a speech by Anne Coulter. At that point, you would begin to display Tourette's like symptoms (twitching and uncontrollable cursing) . . . only it wouldn't be Tourette's, would it?

The Mechanicky Gal said...

I give you a little more time than 5.25 minutes. I say you have MUCH more restraint than I, and initially there will be nice people there.
THEN after 15 minutes, all hell will break loose.
So I say 15 minutes.

Nathan said...

5.25 minutes? Holy shit, they're giving you a lot of credit for restraint.

Committee Chair: And now, let's take a moment to get to know our newest members. Janiece, please stand up and tell us a little about yourself.

Janiece: Well I'm a proud Navy Vet and...I'm sorry, I'm just so choked up to be here I can't go on. I'm so humbled and honored that you've chosen me. You like me! You really fucking like me!

Carol Elaine said...

Why not get it out of the way early? Walk in with a big smile and say, "How the fuck are y'all doing?" That way everyone will find your swearing charming and won't be too surprised when the throat punching happens about 20 minutes later.

Carol Elaine said...

Aw, Nathan beat me to the [throat] punch. :(

Nathan said...

Later in the first meeting, Janiece is incensed over a proposal. Angry words are exchanged and someone insults the Smart Man. Janiece channels Annie Kinsella and challenges her antagonist to "step outside".

At least he is not a book burner, you Nazi cow.

Fathergoose said...

I am hoping you are selected and the meetings are open to the public. Summer TV is just too lame, I need some mental floss.

Vagabond said...

I'm with Fathergoose. Public Access, televised meltdowns complete with verbal acrimony, thrown items, hand gestures and wrasslin'! Hell yeah, sign me up!

Steve Buchheit said...

We used to have better ratings on the local TV channel when the councilmen used to swear and not get along. I don't want to go back to those times (we get a heck of a lot more done now).

But you might be surprised, we love volunteers. Especially for committee work. So when the call, try not say the explicative right on the phone.

WendyB_09 said...

Steve wins.

Selection Committee - Hot Chick, we've selected you to be on our cultural council.

HC - WTF? Really??

Tom said...

Janiece, isn't it heartwarming to know you have so many fans who have such trust in you?

I know you don't suffer fools gladly, but I also know you have quite a lot of restraint when you want it. If you go off-hook, it won't be accidental, I'm sure. :)

Janiece said...

Tom wins.

I don't typically go off half-cocked. I go off fully-cocked.

The Mechanicky Gal said...

Geez Janiece, I think you are teh model of restraint - compared to me. What would all these good people on your blog think of me if they heard me Paint-Guy Rampage? Good thing they only know my fine avatar. And Carol Elaine, Anne, I was especially well-behaved when you met me.
Heh. Who'dve guessed that?