Missives from the Apocalypse - #1

Saturday, May 21, 2011
I have an hour before the Fabulous Stacey™ picks me up for my personal shopping day (now with more lunch!), so I figured I'd write my first missive:

Nothing to report.

The Boogie Dog and I went for our walkies and saw no zombies, Rapture Balloons, or other indications of the End Times, although we did see a dozen deer with an extraordinarily short flight radius. But it's not yet 6:00 p.m. in our time zone, so there's that.

But I have been thinking about a couple of other things that are apocalypse related.

The first one is on the issue of "respect." I've heard talk of Christians getting offended by others' lack of "respect" for their beliefs as it relates to Rapture. Evidently the fact that this loudmouth Camping has been presumptuous enough to claim to know when the Christian god will return is not grounds for the rest of us to make fun of the Rapture, even though the Christian Bible itself plainly states that no man knows when it will happen.

Whatever. If people can't even be consistent with what they claim to be their own belief system, I can't see how I'm obligated not to make fun of them, since my own moral code does not require that I be respectful of hypocritical ideas. While my rules of conduct may require that I remain silent in mixed company, respect for such hypocrisy will probably happen right around the same time as monkeys fly out of my ass.

And speaking of being inconsistent and hypocritical, can someone please explain to me how someone who claims to be a Christian, and thus (one assumes) attempts to emulate Christ-like behavior, can be all "I can't wait for the Rapture to come! Then you'll see!"? Stop me if my logic has a hole, but wouldn't such an event imply (in accordance with their own belief system) that me and mine would henceforth be subject to eternal torture and damnation? You're right, follower of Christ, seeing my face as I descend into the depths of Hell is totally worth the price of admission! I can see why you can't wait - being right is so much better than being Christ-like, and enjoying the torture of others is totally what being Christian is ALL ABOUT! Burn, heathen, burn! Good times!

I'm making fun of an idea. They're looking forward - evidently with great relish - to what they perceive to be my eternal damnation and torment. Think about it.

4 comments:

Matt said...

I have a 12:20 tee time and will thus be outside for the impending events. I'll tweet you when the sky opens up.

Nathan said...

I'll have an order of Heathen-Kabobs, well done. Thank you.

vince said...

And speaking of being inconsistent and hypocritical, can someone please explain to me how someone who claims to be a Christian, and thus (one assumes) attempts to emulate Christ-like behavior, can be all "I can't wait for the Rapture to come! Then you'll see!"? Stop me if my logic has a hole, but wouldn't such an event imply (in accordance with their own belief system) that me and mine would henceforth be subject to eternal torture and damnation?

Sadly, inconsistent and hypocritical is exactly what they are. Many of my fellow Christians suck at being Christ-like, but they excel at being Pharisees.

Hope you have an excellent shopping day.

Tom said...

Yeah, eternal damnation and torture. Can we get the Prez to look into that? Doesn't sound all that American to me.

And by the way, 6:50pm EST. No earthquakes, no zoomers, naked or otherwise. I guess it was a bust...