Conspiracy Theory in 5...4...3...2...1...

Monday, May 2, 2011
Yes, yes, they dumped bin Laden's body off the side of a Navy ship. The official reason was that it might be difficult to find a country that would take his worthless carcass for a swift burial, as required by Muslim tradition.

Yeah, that's it. The U.S. government, having spent untold monies on tracking this waste of protoplasm down and administering justice in the form of my shippies, is DREADFULLY CONCERNED about making sure he gets appropriate burial rites. As opposed to...I don't know...preventing his body from being recovered by a) souvenir hunters; b) his sycophantic followers looking for relics of their martyr; or c) all of the above.

I'm sure the Willful Morons™ are already starting their conspiracy crusade to explain why this decision was made - he's not really dead, it was just a ploy to get Obama reelected in 2012, Bush actually had bin Laden killed and Obama's taking the credit, blah, blah, blah.

WHATEVER. Anyone smart enough to pour pee out of a boot can see how this was the only viable decision under the circumstances. Take him, Davy Jones, and let him languish in the obscurity he so richly deserves.

9 comments:

Dr. Phil (Physics) said...

I like Rachel Maddow a lot, but she had some guy on who thought it was suspicious that they had the body at sea.

Let's see... Navy SEAL team. Goes to the safety of the middle of a carrier group. Sounds like the best place to be to me.

Dr. Phil

mom in northern said...

Rumor control has it that the Saudia Gov't refused to take the body for burial...

mom in northern said...

rumor control has it that the Saudi Gov't refused the body for burial...

Matt said...

Some of my faves so far:

- The burial at sea proves that Obama really is a Muslim, otherwise how would he have known about Muslim burial rites?

- bin Laden really died in 2002 from kidney failure and they brought his body out of cryofreeze for the op. (I call this one the "Austin Powers theory)

- Obama fabricated the story to take attention away from his fake birth certificate.

- Cheney really ran the op from his secret bunker.

- As Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson was tweeting about it before the announcement, he is secretly a member of Obama's National Security team.

- The announcement was delayed so as not to clash with the coverage of the royal wedding.

- As SEALs figured prominently in the op, and Masons had influence in creating The Great Seal of the United States, this is further proof that there is a worldwide masonic conspiracy that controls everything (ok, I made that up, but it makes as much sense as any of the other lunacy).

Warner (aka ntsc) said...

@ Matt

I like your theory. And Masons presided over the Constitutional Convention too.

Matt said...

@Warner, that's my theme for the day. I'll see if I can get my own internet meme started. Maybe Dan Broen can write a book: "Barack and the Bavarian Masons."

Helen Rae said...

My Favorite so far is that Obama did it as a ploy to, "enhance his position to invade Libya"-- which doesn't even track logically so Im not sure how someone made that leap of ignorance... Or "now that Bin Laden is dead we've killed all the terrorists and the wars can be over"... although I do wish that were true-- sadly-- it's not reality.

Mavro said...

Let's see... birthers, truthers, Triggers, deathers... I'm gonna buy stock in a tin foil company.

Anne C. said...

The most recent one I've heard is that it's all a hoax...
AND
Obama did it to take heat off the birth certificate issue
AND
Now we're going to be nuclear bombed out of existence by Bin Laden's "billions" of followers.

All from the same effing guy. The first two in his first email on the subject and the first and last in his second email on the subject.

Where is the effing logic?