The Whackadoo Lauren Boebert

Wednesday, December 22, 2021

 

So. Lauren Boebert. Congresswoman for Colorado's 3rd Congressional District. Gun rights advocate. Restaurateur. The recipient of a GED in 2020. Also dangerous, too stupid to breathe, hypocritical, and radical. 

I have to ask, 3rd Congressional District voters - what the fuck were you thinking?

From a recent public speaking event: 

I am tired of having Godless people who hate America run this country! You and I are going to take this country back!

Let's unpack, shall we?

I am a godless person. I don't believe in any gods, and am basically completely irreligious. And yet, as an Atheist, I strongly disapprove of rhetoric that encourages violence against other humans, religious or not. Not so Boebert, who believes Muslims make baby Jesus cry and should be eliminated, by a bullet if necessary. 

Danger score: 9

Stupidity score: 7

Hypocrisy score: 11

Radical score: 9

Apparently I also hate America, along with other liberal Americans. If only there was something I could do to prove how much this country means to me, and how strongly I believe in the Constitution...perhaps something like serving the United States in uniform for half my adult life. 

Danger score: 5

Stupidity score: 11

Hypocrisy score: 9

Radical score: 7

Boebert also believes that someone has stolen the country and made off with it like a thief in the night. I wonder who she thinks these thieves could be? I wonder. Could they be people who think that working a 40 hour work week means you shouldn't live in poverty? Or people who believe lobbyists should not be permitted to bribe our representatives? Or maybe it's people who want to ensure children aren't shot to death for the crime of going to school. Could it be people who think a progressive tax rate with no loopholes for profitable corporations or ka-billionaires is the right thing to do? Oh! I know! It's people who think the punishment for being poor shouldn't be a death sentence because you can't afford health care! And I'm also going to take an abductive leap, here, and include "everyone who's not white, Christian, CIS, straight, and inexplicably believes they're entitled to equal treatment under the law" to that list. 

Danger score: 7

Stupidity score: 6

Hypocrisy score: 10

Radical score: 11

Again, I have to ask -  3rd Congressional District voters, what the fuck were you thinking?

Whoever runs against Boebert - in both the primaries and the general, if she runs - will be receiving some of my hard earned dough to beat this whackadoo. She's a national embarrassment, and the sooner she's relegated to the obscurity she so richly deserves, the better. 


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